₦airaland Forum

oohhh ok

1, 2 and now we have 3

[quote author=Busy_body link=topic=626154.msg7965466#msg7965466 date=1300827312]Who is in Nigeria again Oh forgot thats where your imaginary e-lover whom you have never clapped eyes on is based Don't worry we will all be here when you come here bawling your eyes out that he has scammed you and how all Nigerian men are evil 419'ers By the way,  I don't have a man nor children so please face me if you have more of those insults to spew my way

SEE ME SEE SOMETHING, hmmm, who is the "we" here Is anyone seeing what I am seeing No wonder she couldn't peel herself away from the thread Is the OP your internet boyfriend No wonder e dey do you yori yori THE PLOT THICKENS [/quote]Hey I am not mad at you - it is hard for you to fathom someone like me and I can't blame you - It isn't your fault - I work hard and sacrifice a whole lot.

But what I have never understood with SOME VERY INSECURE women THAT HAVE TO RUN IN PACKS is the shortsightedness they have in their OWN REGARD.  Instead of bringing themselves up to a "level where they want to be," they hate on other "women" - they waste time hating on other women which draws lines of bitterness on the face and around the mouth.

Beautify thy features and focus on YOURSELF in a loving manner.  I think you have a character defect.  You and your 2 man crew walking around trying to pass yourselves off as women.

ALL OF YOU ARE CURSING THE POSTER

He is SOMEONE'S BROTHER, COUSIN, SON AND GRANDSON - So tell me - Who is the hypocrite?

[quote author=Busy_body link=topic=626154.msg7965351#msg7965351 date=1300826169]What have we here again, a response from a grown sanctimonous holier-than-thou, God is this, God is that kiriyo that she wants us to believe all she gave Outstrip was a SINCERE response despite all the curses she placed on her, her defenseless children and husband AND SHE THREW THE FIRST SUCKER PUNCH, BUT IS NOW WAILING LIKE A BANSHEE, her hyprocrisy ramkles, NAIRALANDERS I HAIL THEE [/quote]wowww

it is 9:45pm in Nigeria and you are still rankled, gnashing your teeth about my words to someone else yesterday - AND I STAND BY EVERY WORD.

I see they must be true because you are still stewing, spitting, writhing, screaming and scratching, biting.

It's over - ok?  relax, take a load off, get your man to give you a backrub or footrub.  Soak in a bubble bath.  Calm down.

I STAND BY EVERY WORD!

The Posters wife would have to get an Attorney in Nigeria for any property she would attempt to go after that is in Nigeria.

Since we found out that the U.S. has NO JURISDICTION in Nigeria legally.  We also obtained a legal representative in Nigeria as well.  One in the U.S. and one in Nigeria.

So the Poster's wife would have to have a legal team - one in both countries and I am not sure if her divorce in the U.S. would be acknowledged or enforced by the courts in Nigeria.

adconline:
Not really wanting to stray into pedantic territory, but we are saying the same thing, the OP can never engage an Attorney to fight for access to his child - and the wife counter this with a divorce suit in the States - without his financial capability and net worth called into play. For him to prove he deserves sole custody, he needs to put his money where his mouth is and this can only be done by opening the books to all the parties interested and show them the money.


U still doesn’t get it on how justice is served.  You are mixing child custody with spousal support.  Judge cannot award investments and property to the woman because the man is asking for custody of his child. Custody will be based on who is in a better position to take care of the child with financial capability playing a deciding role. His financial statements would be tendered, and if he’s granted custody, the child will now live in Naija, but that same court cannot say we require you to give the woman half of net worth. Mind you also that the divorce court always takes into consideration who came in with what into the marriage and who gained more and it seems so far that the lady has benefitted more from this marriage than the man. It's up to Naija court to determine who gets what.



It is if she serves him the divorce papers and he refuses to sign that she either has to come to Nigeria or engage an attorney for around $3000 to force the case to trial.

The  divorce case is going to be Naija vs Naija. Got it? But custody is a US person- the child vs Naija persons? Got it? The judge can award custody because a US person is  involved, but not property and investments in Naija. If that were the case, a lot of Nigerians would go to EU and US where divorce laws are much favorable  and ask courts to dissolve their marriages and award them properties and investments in Nigeria.  Go and read about the Cuban boy- Elian Gonzalez- with regard to custody battle.
There was also a recent case where a Nigerian big shot had divorce his case  tried in UK, the  wife got what they owned in  the UK and the man got what they invested in Nigeria. Also, they both have British citizenship, but in this instance, the woman lives in the US and the man lives in Naija.



Using some of these multi-millionaires and billionaires with properties and assets all over the world as an example, what do you think happens when they are getting a divorce and for example the Court needs to deliberate on how the couple are going to split their penthouse in Monaco and Villa in Italy, is the Judge gonna say because this is not in the US, we can't factor it into the equation 


Are you talking about Naija where it’s not possible to find out how much GEJ is worth let alone ordinary Nigerians? If he’s not a corporate office type, how do you access his net worth?


Why do you think the Private Investigation sector is booming, surely tis not solely because of 'em honeytraps 
Who is going to pay for that-estranged wife? What would PI achieve in Nigeria?

What we are saying here is if he uses indiscriminate force, rather than tact and diplomacy, he will get burnt. Eyan o ki nsare je eko gbigbono (You don't rush to eat hot pap). He might not be required to split his access down the middle, but someone who could afford to educate his wife in a $70,000 university, will be paying the wife a song in child support et al, as long as that wife is still in the States. Haul her a.r.s.e down to Nigeria, and then you can decide what method you wanna employ in killing her softly.

Your illusion of indiscriminate force is a mirage, because the best way to go about it by using US legal system. No one is advocating force here let alone an indiscriminate one. You really don’t understand how things work legally. If the man wins custody, he will not pay child support. If he’s asked to pay child support, he will get unrestricted and court sanctioned visitation in return. In that case, his child may visit and spend holidays in Nigeria. Mind you, he still has to pay for his child’s upbringing with or without divorce. You are not correct on splitting his income because he’s asking for the right to see his kid. JURISDICTION is the key here on a Marriage that was entered into in Nigeria which has a common law like the US.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELEY CORRECT - U.S. Courts have no jurisdiction over any property in Nigeria

I just entered into an agreement (business) with a Nigerian and we had papers drawn up - I met with a U.S. corporate attorney who specializes in International Business Transactions such as mergers and acquisitions - I met with that law firm LAST WEEK and it was made CLEAR that the U.S. HAS no jurisdiction in Nigeria on Property I would own in Nigeria and this includes bank accounts, business registrations, etc,

If she divorces him in the U.S. - she won't get anything if he owns it in Nigeria.

You can talk until you are blue in the face to people - IF THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT - they then do the personal attack because they just don't want the truth to be the truth.  IF they can't get you one way they foam at the mouth like a dog and try to get you the next way.

Because I am a woman speaking as I speak - they really ferment because I have broke camp.  I am looking AT THE PRINCIPLE not at the gender.  They are soo angry that I am a woman speaking like I do.  Right is right and wrong is wrong.  I am not going to turn on the poster because he is a man.  The wife is wrong and Stevie Wonder Can See It from across the room!!!

Isaac and Isaiah

Ava and Eva

quote by Busy Body

@ OP

Quit crying over split milk, it is not by force to stay married to you. Put sentiment aside and try to get along with your ex-wife amicably. The deed has been done and you should thank your lucky stars because she sounds like an evil merciless person anyway.

You made the conscious effort to send your pregnant wife to a foreign Country where she had the baby all by herself, and managed to juggle childcare and education to see herself through her Masters degree, whilst selling the bits and bob you sent for her upkeep.

According to you, you have not seen this baby, so

*[s]this gives her every right to get a default judgement of divorce on your a.r.s.e for abandonment or disertion, heck she does not even need a ground to divorce you[/s], - POSTER DON'T WORRY  THIS IS NOT TRUE AND WON'T FLY IN THE U.S.

* [s]and if she really wants to be wicked, she can sue you for child neglect[/s], - NOT TRUE

*[s]she can request for backdated and continuous child support payment and the household bills, P[/s] - BACKDATE DOESN'T FLY EITHER - Keep your receipts, your postage receipts, emails - there is no backdate either - 3 months alimony would be the most you pay and in SOME STATES NO ALIMONY - child support would be all that you would pay

*[s]she can request for continuous spousal support (she is a student with limited right to work remember) and would be left destitute otherwise and if you don't pay this you can be found to be in contempt of Court or become a felon and get convicted for child neglect[/s]. - IT IS A RARE OCCURRENCE TO RECEIVE CONTINUOUS SPOUSAL SUPPORT - FEW IN THE U.S. GET THAT AND THEY ARE CITIZENS - ESPECIALLY IF SHE IS THE PARTY THAT FILES FOR DIVORCE - IF SHE INITIATES

*[s]Even if you own the property, she can request for order for exclusive occupancy to enforce the right to be the only party permitted to stay in the home during the divorce proceeding because you have residence in Nigeria.[/s] - SHE DOESN'T HAVE RESIDENCY NOR CITIZENSHIP IN THE U.S. - It is doubtful that she owns any property in the U.S. - she was selling items Poster sent her to keep her afloat as a student.   So Poster don't worry about that either.

*[s]She can lie that you are the violent type and get a protection order to stop you coming a certain radius of her[/s]. - Your letters from friends, family, neighbors, church members (if you attend church) and her act of dissolving the marriage right after she got her degree - will attract enough of the Judge's attention to see what is going on with her and will make her story suspect so don't fear this one either.

*[s][b]There are trafficking laws in place she can apply for to debar you from stealing your child out of the Country[/b][/s] - trafficking laws don't apply to you - you are the Child's Father and you have equal right to that child in the U.S. especially since a divorce has not been granted.  DIVORCE takes a year or more to obtain in the U.S.  It isn't an overnight process.  If you deny the divorce you can hold up that divorce for a number of years in court.  Be aware of your rights.

*[s]You and your international Lawyer cannot take your child to Nigeria without her consent, remember she can claim you abandoned her already so you are the parent who's gonna be seen as not having the interest of the child at heart here.[/s] - She doesn't give you consent.  Don't listen to these people that don't know what they are talking about.  The COURT gives you consent.  

*[s]We are talking about a human being here, so forget the notion of getting 50-50 access, the child is mainly gonna be domiciled where his/her nursery/school is, so if you fight gra gra for custody, remember all you are going to get is a few weekends a month, and part of the school holidays, so are you going to be flying in every fortnight or are you going to be making your baby fly over the world as an unaccompanied minor Undecided[/s] - This person doesn't know U.S. Law - so Poster just get an Attorney - don't be frightened into believing something that is typed here on NL  - but is foreign to the U.S. Court System.  - Just Know Your Rights and From There Make the Decisions THAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

Poster - I just wanted to Give You A Very Different and Viable Perspective So You Aren't Scared Into Buying Into Fiction VERSUS Fact.

jennykadry:
shyone don't tell me you are playing the victim now? all hell was let loose on outstrip cos she was not in agreement with your silly posts. What have I done wrong now?

Who cares about what you've got on your agenda today i.e having sex 25 times with your bf or drinking champagne after swallowing his ''c.u, m'' to get it down properly or better still paying off your debts/mortgage? Who cares? Please go ahead with your work for the day seeing that you ''educate your imaginary attorneys in your ebutte metta chambers,i'd expect you to be busy''

Pssssffffff

what?

Do women even talk like you talk?  It's gross to say the least.

My question is where would YOU even think up examples like what you listed above?  That takes a really low, guttural mentality to even approach me or another human being like you just did.  Drinking Champagne after Swallowing his c.u, m?  That is soo "off topic"

Who have you exposed your treasures to - to even think on that level and think that you and I are familiar enough with each other that is is OK TO post ANYTHING on that level on NL to ME?

Sweetie - stay with us ok?  This is NL - This is a conversation that I thought you joined - This isn't an Bleep rated film, Strip Bar or indecency flick - your potty mouth isn't acceptable in this conversation.  I know it's hard but stay focused on the conversation.

[quote author=tpiah! link=topic=626154.msg7963493#msg7963493 date=1300808633]obviously one of the reasons why the lady wants to give up the marriage is because she's reluctant to return to nigeria as per the original plan.

ie study, have the baby and return home.


the poster probably ordered her to, hence her decision to dig in her heels.

imo, meet her halfway by going to see her where she is.

most nigerians, once they travel overseas, do not like returning home.

poster, dont fight her because there are many who will help you do just that, to the detriment of all parties involved.

btw, hope you werent fooling around with other women before or after she was away. If she has nothing good to come home to, then what's the incentive.[/quote]you have some valid points

obowunmi:
Shy- One --- e never do you

Hi

If I am doing wrong - thanks for the shoulder tap.

@ adconline:

Your last 2 posts ARE SPOT ON!!

You know U.S. Law. Poster pay CLOSE ATTENTION.

[quote author=Busy_body link=topic=626154.msg7963107#msg7963107 date=1300805087]Hmmm, but I am the only one here left to lock up Church How come I thought and could have sworn I heard someone preaching to the Choir, oh well, I need to stay well away from the liquor bottle *hic*


YaDA YAdA YADA, psssft [/quote]"lock up Church" ?

there are times when you need to just walk away - has anyone ever told you that?

your itching to get at me has you losing sight with the Topic and is doing a disservice to the Poster

You and Jenny are good friends to Outstrip - I do commend you

Unfortunately for you and your partner in crime - I am going to have to remove myself from your claws and raspiness - as I have an overly full agenda that doesn't include either of you

jennykadry:
lol no I am not picking up a fight with you shy one. I just found your input on this thread rather useless and uncalled for. One would think the OP is your brother with the way you wore kaki trousers to fight as many that disagreed with you.

Picking up a fight with you is like picking up a fight with a 1 year old baby,c'mon now I am not insane.

@bb
Abeg don't type that tie us to kitchen sink twice before mr kadry starts doing sthg naughty and strong to me. I am still trying to get past the last episode hehehe

Thanks for your thought process - actually the OP is someone's brother and someone's son.  I just know heinous when I see it and smell it.

"Picking up a fight with me is like picking up a fight with a 1 year old baby."  - Well that sentence made a lot of sense grammatically, typographically and competence-wise.

smh  

[quote author=Busy_body link=topic=626154.msg7962836#msg7962836 date=1300803034]Morning y'all to the What Would Jesus Do class, the topic for the day Collosians 1 v 27, Christ in me the hope of all glory,  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me, God in my living, there in my breathing, God in my waking, God in my sleeping, God in my resting, God in my yawning, Without you oh God i would be drifting like a ship without a sail, blah blah blah

Easier said than preached, what an irony [/quote]The only perfect ONE is God

The rest of us can only put forth effort each and every day if our love for God is higher than our love for man

Each one of us gets tested daily - I definitely don't profess to be perfect neither do I work at or for the Church - I didn't write the bible - but it is definitely important to me to try WITH ALL OF MY FAULTS to be the best I KNOW TO BE - and I make mistakes like the rest of the planet BUT I am genuinely sincere.

I don't fear apologizing when I am wrong nor walking my words back.  Unlike you, I don't attack or nitpick with someone who has disagreed with a FRIEND - because a coward I am not.

Perchance this is YOUR TEST -  throwing stone after stone in my direction as I stand at a distance watching you - curious as to how YOU quote scripture

Irony this!!! at least I'm trying - what are you doing?

What comes to my mind is friendship - separate yourself, step out versus traveling in packs these days

gnashing of teeth

@ Poster

REMEMBER WHAT YOU READ from many, many, many writers.

I see the HENS are busy at work this morning

pecking, pecking, pecking

jennykadry:
The one part I did not like was the way shy one came at outstrip's kids and then when she found out that outstrip's got two boys, she decided to channel her energy on outstrip's husband. Seriously? I had to go through the thread and was like where are all these childish banters coming from? Too much venom on a felllow woman and then because your fellow woman's view differs from us, the first thing that clicked in your head was ''she's a barren woman with no kids or she's not birthed a male child before hence her reason for being ''dumb'', dumb because she does not agree with you?''

SMH

you just want to pick a fight with me - that was what you were implying in your posts above - what is your problem with me really?

just be honest - you are now turning on me - because i don't agree with "your views differ from us." I'll be your barren woman - ahahahahahaha - if you ONLY KNEW you would look as questionable as you sound.

ooooooo nooooo

lololololol

Please Mrs. C - forgive me for i have sinned.

I thought that was you playing games. ahahahahahahahaha

my apologies for laughing - you guys are sooo funny. wow

the minds on NL - priceless

@ Poster

I completely feel you.

Do this:

Hang out with ATTRACTIVE female friends - can you do that?  Are you capable of doing this without going into a relationship with them?

Here is why I make that suggestion.  You are committed mentally to a past/present relationship "of sorts."  So mentally you aren't ready for a new female anyway.  Also, you are now coming with baggage that hasn't been resolved and a new woman wouldn't and shouldn't be the out of range target, she shouldn't be collateral damage accidentally because you are not "over" your gf.

Another reason to just hang out - surround yourself with attractive females as friends - for some silly reason that I have never been able to fathom even TIL THIS DAY.  Women seem to want men that OTHER WOMEN WANT.  I have seen instances where women aren't even interested in a man until another woman, especially if that woman is attractive - until another attractive woman shows interest.

Your gf seeing you in the presence and/or hearing that you are in the presence of MANY, DIFFERENT attractive women could have a change of heart and definitely see you in a different light.  Also this would boost your self esteem, keep your mood light and on the upswing and expose you to your possible life partner (as I doubt very seriously if your current ex-gf is that for you).

Mr Chima:
Hey Odunnu, i'm Mr Chima both on n offline. Is there anyfin d matter? If i may ask, who is Jay Bee? And wot is goin on bw him my Mrs? Pls hit me more. Cheers.

ahahahahahahaha - lolololololol - Mrs. Chima is this you - you play too much - stop it.  lrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlr

rokiatu:
Everyone gets angry once in a while its human nature.

That is why words like "bad mood" exist.

you are correct

@ Poster

I fear that i suffer from this disorder - i get angry alot oooooooo

i am trying really hard to practice patience.  my guy is constantly reminding me to practice patience. i have grown alot though - i am not physical with it - i contain it on a verbal level but it bothers me that it is even verbal - i will keep working on it - thanks for the post

he also told me that anger is a sin - and i don't want to sin against God (as my love for God knows no bounds) by being angry with others - but poster there are times that i literally feel my blood boiling with some of the stupidity i read on NL - it is hard oooooo - i love to sing so i will try to sing my anger versus type it

@ kadman

ok

duduspace:
Will you stop that hasty generalisation? I am Nigerian and live in the UK but I've never been considered savage orbackward by anyone I've met and I should tell you that I have a lot of European friends I share a pint with at the pub and go watching movies and playing footie at the weekend.

It is important to differentiate between mild old school 'tough love' which involves only minor spanking and wholesale domestic abuse which could include elements of GBH. There is a massive difference between the horn of a snail and that of a buffalo.

you definitely are NOT BACKWARDS.

shy-one does a "double take"

that last paragraph - a beautiful symphony - your play on words was flawless

thank you for sharing.

@ Sleekman, Adconline and Obowunmi

Thank you for your posts as well - I really enjoyed listening to your thought processes - reading and learning from them.  Because it adds to my knowledge base which I focus very, very hard on building.

You are very mature, insightful, well-versed sages.  I totally agree with chaircover - ALL OF US ON NL are needed.  Because every single one of us will "have a bad day" or will need "advice" or "direction" or just a pat on the back or encouragement because there are times in our lives when we "just don't know."

This forum opens our world in ways that our inner and outer circles just don't have the capacity or ability to do.  I never would have met any of you without NL.  The poster needs all of us today and anyone of us in present or future will need NL in that same manner as well.

chaircover:
Please lets put away the insults. This is a forum and we will have different views. If we all had the same view this place will be extremely boring and not of much use to people who come here with their problems.

We can all agree to disagree and at the same time respect each other. I frequently get "knocked"  for my alleged "marriage by force views" but I just state my case without resorting to insults and move on and ignore people who get too personal. Lets respect each other please.

Please lets step back for a minute and spare a thought for the poster. He must be going through great turmoil at this time and I believe that all of our collective intention here is to try and help this gentleman with any help that we can offer so please lets not loose that focus.

A few people have advised the legal route, some the "not so legal" route and some of us have gone over the "theory of why & how" me included which truth be told isn't very helpful to the poster at this point.

Lets all move on, try to help this poster and come up with a point by point plan on what to do. I don't know anything about the legal system in the USA regarding children so if anyone can help in that area that will be great.

Regarding the wife, I suppose its up to the poster to decide if he wants to fight for his marriage or not.  there is no guarantee that she will come back but it is his decision at the end of the day on whether it is worth salvaging anything from this marriage or not.

If he chooses to fight for his marriage, then he should drop everything and try and get himself out there. Not much he can do over the phone and things like these are better said face to face.

He should however be careful in working on bringing her back though because the last thing you want is to "force" someone who clearly doesn't want to be there under your roof. Its like sleeping with the enemy.

However if this is the end and things dont work out between them, then he will have to sort out a way to be in the life of this child no matter how small. This is his child and the child wont thank him in years to come if he just walks away.

If there is no other man involved, it crossed my mind that it could be that the wife just doesn't want to go back to Nigeria but is not communicating this across effectively. Maybe? Who knows?

Poster, I sincerely hope that things turn out well in the end and to the rest of us, hopefully one or two lessons have been learnt from all this.

I am soo impressed with you.

Many, many times your input helps sooo many of us. Wisdom is priceless and those graced by God with it who are also willing to share that wisdom are highly favored by God and man.

Thank you so much for sharing - such beautiful insight makes for a wonderful day for me today.

I send items to Nigeria every few months - my guy and I send items back and forth to each other all the time

Postage is expensive

It costs 300.00 to send a 1 lb item through UPS - CORRECTION $140.00

If you can state on NL the type of vitamins you need - I will pay for them and ship them to him within next 14 days - it takes 7 days to arrive in Nigeria - via Impex - I will include your vitamins in with the shipment he will be receiving.

He resides in Lagos - you can pick them up from him at his place of business - is your email address listed on your profile (he will not allow me to hand out my email address)

I will give him your email address and he will contact you once the shipment arrives so the soonest I can help you will be mid April when you receive those vitamins - I can send you 2 bottles - my cost

let me know if that is doable

adconline:
You reminded us how shallow you are.  I was hoping for a fact based debate between you and Shy-One, but yours has fallen flat as it is devoid of any common sense and bereft of real practical and tactical ideas. Instead, you ventured into your comfy zone of male bashing. You sound like a person who needs a husband to pay her bills and use his last name. I'm sorry for that "husband" of yours if he's not a fantasy.

You are bereft of your environment-social and legal. You dont know that you dont have absolute rights, but contained rights within a society. You seem not  to know that the law does not give you power to trample over men, simply because you are  a woman. You come off as a woman who is always the "gang leader" of small like-minded female group as a spokesperson with loud mouth and obnoxious character- yet not rounded intellectually to offer any meaningful opinion beyond bedroom and kitchen politics at home. You could be good at heading a woman organization of your local community, but not to offer any meaningful suggestion beyond your scope. “ you type are as  loud as a motor bike, but wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight.”

OP. I don’t know if you have established paternity of your child. Know that the court system will require that, but most importantly, the court can order both of you to go for a paternity test in order to establish who is the baby daddy . Having said that, if your child is on welfare and you have demonstrated that you are financially capable to take care of your child, the court would be helpful in helping you take your child off the welfare system- cos you are saving them money. If you are running a business in Naija, put your CAC, business license, permits all notarized. Have your bank write a letter “To Whom It May Concern’’ clearly stating your relationship with your bank and your financial ability. If you are well travelled, document all the papers. If your woman’s family is with you on this, have them sign an affidavit stating your relationship in clear terms with their daughter. Your own family can do this as well. The law is not backside as  “outstrip” would us to believe.

I love INTELLIGENT MEN - you are really, really intelligent and you KNOW OF WHAT YOU SPEAK.

I want to add to that welfare statement that you made.  HERE IS FACT.  If anyone is here in the U.S. on a visa  - they CANNOT APPLY for welfare the first 10 years and they have to sign a statement to the fact that they WILL NOT APPLY FOR WELFARE.  The U.S. is not going to assist an immigrant with welfare benefits or they will be deported.  A white woman in my church married an African male from Malawi (excuse my spelling if I misspelled that word).  He was here on a Visa as a Student and married her a month before his Student Visa Expired and they applied to transfer the Visa to another type (I will ask her tomorrow the type of Visa - I believe it gives him another 10 year stint in the States) - she needed to get a sponsor for him and that sponsor put up 20,000.00 I believe that was the amount - I will confirm that as well.

Anyway - he had a nursing position and got hurt on the job while she was pregnant with his daughter.  So neither of them could work - the church basically gave them handouts to keep their electricity, mortgage, food, gas paid.  I asked her to apply for welfare.  She REFUSED out of fear because she stated that they had signed a form that for the next 10 years they would not apply for welfare benefits and she did not want to jeopardize the sponsor's deposit or her husband's Visa for fear of deportation.
They cannot get food stamps, medical insurance for his injuries and treatment, no handouts whatsoever.  They didn't have heat, electricity - the church had to turn on their lights and heat and different church members paid their mortgage so she wouldn't lose the house she had before she met him - that went on for 2-3 years.  Finally, now they are doing much better - they are both working but it took a horrible toll on them.

You obviously KNOW EXACTLY OF WHAT YOU HAVE COUNSELED TO THE POSTER.  I found this out last summer.  As I too have been researching the Visa Laws here in the U.S.  The U.S. doesn't want any non-citizens on its welfare rolls so the poster's wife basically will need assistance from her family and strangers here in the U.S. because the government isn't going to assist her whether she is a single mom or not.

Had I been in her shoes I would have stayed with the husband.  She thinks that she is "out of the woods" because she is in America and has her Masters Degree.  She still needs him.  It is a RARE MAN that will LOVE ANOTHER MAN'S CHILD in the same manner as the biological dad.  She should have stuck to the plans that she and he devised prior to leaving Nigeria and/or researched ways to bring him to the U.S. if she didn't want to return to Nigeria.   I just don't understand - when I hear these stories. 

I would never have struck out on my own with a new baby in a foreign country. No he isn't physically here with her - but he was definitely with her via phone, email, snail mail, money, packages - constant support - he was here and he wouldn't have left her because she is his wife and has his child and they were together living their dreams.

Any new guy in the U.S.? The poster doesn't have anything to fear - it's doubtful that she will be treated like a queen as he treated her - good luck dating non-African men under the age of 40 in the U.S. - they will dump her over coffee, tea, don't bring a superior attitude, a better-than-thou constitution. They will only half treat the child right in her presence, etc.

She broke quite a bond - because she and her husband were "in it together." A new guy isn' t going to go the distance - most of these American men aren't even aware of the struggle of Nigerians. Her husband knows that struggle, his knowledge alone ensured his loyalty to the relationship as her education was to be of benefit to THEM BOTH. Over here too much is taken for granted - she is mere number in these woods - they don't owe her anything. Her husband being by her side would have given a thousand percent and did long distance.

She will wake up and realize VERY VERY SOON WHAT SHE HAS DONE. Because it is soo obvious - she won't find a man to stand by her in the manner of one of her own countrymen.

humor - constant humor

unrestrained acts of love - impulsive acts full of joy and childlike glee

maintain a gentle and loving approach

real honesty minus brutal delivery

stay in shape - physically

keep God foremost in everything you do

(I do sincerely do ALL of the above to keep the relationship fresh and tender) - works like a charm and we both are having a ball with each other - as we constantly fuel the flame of the other partner.


ooooo I love him

aminalib:
You ever take the biggest deuce(crap) and you feel proud of yourself, like "yea i did that",
*****walks away****

MRbrownJAY:
****does the sign of the cross,SMH, then quietly walks away****

ahahahahahahahahaha

Jackieugo:
https://tigzy.com/lj/popcorn.gif

ooooo - ahahahahahaha

aminalib:
she has arthritis, good luck

lrlrlrlrlrl - lolololololol

i can't breathe ooooooo

Not quite? What does that mean?

fstranger3:
did you mean to say 'from your experience?'

always trying to pick a fight - STOP IT!

smh