₦airaland Forum

Thank you Chima

For those kinds words - yes - you are definitely right.

Have a good evening and again - my congratulations to you and Mr. Chima on the pregnancy. Take time to enjoy it. Towards the middle to the end of the pregnancy - you will be hit with a HUGE AMOUNT OF ENERGY. Enjoy it girlfriend.

Many times MLA or APA formatting is region specific and degree specific - I find that depending on what area of the country you attend school and the degree type - the instructors are more specific towards their particularly leaning towards one or the other.

OK Ladies - gentleman

gotta go.  have a great day!

I didn't take the time to read the thread - no comments - I am actually working on referencing a large thesis for a client and am finalizing their citations and was stunned to see Mzdk's comment about citations and just wanted to see what style she is required to utilize via her lecturer or professor's guidelines.

That's all.

I'm good - not as tired - still feel sheepish about reading you wrong - hope you will forgive.

I feel pretty good - treated myself to a pedicure and manicure today - so I'm feeling a bit special.  You know us women have to take the time to treat ourselves - there is just too much drama and responsibilities that others load on us.

This white woman was rude today at the nail salon - actually got in my face and I was soo proud of myself - I was able to bite my tongue and hold it in - you know I will snap - but what I did was hold it in and then went shoe shopping right after wards and the sales clerks know me so they allowed to me to share.  So I was able to vent this time in a more proper manner.

It has been hard since hubby died - for me to hold my temper.  I'm trying more everyday to get a handle on it.

Hello Chima

Hello Mzdsk

Just peeking in for a few minutes - then back to work.

@ Mzdk

I am soo happy for you.

Reference citations can be difficult as most people including students - don't cite works regularly and feel intimidated when required to do so with research papers, etc.

May I ask - MLA or APA formatting?  

Congratulations to you.

never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever look back

Thanks for asking

I'm tired all the time now. Since about almost 2 weeks now - I have had a MAJOR increase in business and I am struggling to accommodate clients. I am actually having to ship some of the work to my guy in Nigeria who is helping - HE IS REALLY BETTER THAN I AM WITH MY CLIENTS (I was stunned, as it is a bit embarrassing to me that he caught on so fast and completes assignments faster than I do and he is doing this while handling his own clients that he has from his business in Lagos)

But to top it off - this over-work isn't allowing me to sleep either so I have been a bit overly emotional. I am trying to get a handle on it. My apologizes again to you.

How are you? Are you really pregnant? If so, are you excited. I hope all is well in your world.

I do thank you for your graciousness and generosity.

Mrs. Chima:

Please forgive me for overreacting to you - I was tired yesterday and I think after I read your response.  I think that I must have misread your response and I owe you an apology for my rushed judgment.

I don't know what is going on with you and FStranger - I actually like both of you guys.  And whatever is going on - it is my wish that you guys resolve it. 

I just sincerely and genuinely want you to know that I might have rushed to the wrong conclusion.  I was a bit tired and was also a bit rigid with my guy and a little overly sensitive because of those 2 things [it is rare that he and I speak harshly or sharply to each other and yesterday was that rare day] and I also thought you were calling me some kind of a silly Akata in Indiana.

So Abeg [NL is teaching me new words] Please forgive me - I wish a good day to you and your wonderful husband. The Other Topic is locked so I had to create this thread to extend my apology to you.

thanks mzdskn

And another thing Chima

I'm not an AKATA SUCKER in INDIANA.

MzDarkSkin:
[color=#0066ff]Shy-One chill.
Get over any childish beef that happened between youself and Chima.
According to you, you dont indulge in drama so ignore right? right.

Chima sis behave please.

both of yall are better than that. please stop.

btw Shy, she was talking about another member when she said 'Gay brother' she was
not talking about your brother.[/color]

I don't know what's going on - but my name has been mentioned all in the statement she made.  I'm pissed - I'm logging off.  I need to relax and enjoy my evening.

@ MzDK

better than what?  and what is it that supposedly happened between me and Chima?  I don't even remember because I have been logged off for over a week.

why is Chima coming at me BECAUSE SHE IS ANGRY with Fstranger

what is that sick shitz?

ALL I DID was respond to the post

did i piss you off?

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=237184.msg8046216#msg8046216 date=1301884728]Spoken like a true struggling jealous scammer.  You are still on the PC begging for someone to meet you in "Chicago".  I know it sucks when an Akata rejected your offer huh?  Then cleaned the poo up saying "Oh, she is a different akata".  You still got rejected by a "different" akata. 

I think you got me confused with Shyone boo boo.  My man has a SOCIAL SECURITY CARD (something you are sucking dicks for) not PAPERS and I told you once that I do not date nor marry illegals.  What other "papers" is he supposed to get?  

You are still mad because you couldn't land a sucker in Indiana before your visa time run out that if you are in the States.  

Chima do not have GAY brothers.[/quote]OK Chima

why is MY NAME IS THIS POO?  what is this about?  and why are you mentioning my Gay brother?  you want a piece of me?  what the hell is going on?  with this entire comment directed at me from you?  what did I DO NOW? to deserve all of those digs at ME?

MzDarkSkin:
[color=#0066ff]Shy-One no disrespect but the paragraph wasn't necessary.
All I am saying is self-defense is neither tacky nor time wasting.

God bless you if you are into resolving things peacefully, cause I share the same
views believe it or not. I would rather have a sit down than raise my hand to swing
but if push comes to shove (literally). . .it's going down![/color]

hey - no disrespect at all

if i sound intense - this subject was stressful for me a while back before i married - i was sooo glad to finally find a quiet, peaceful, sane man.  well he has passed away now.  but my marriage with him brought stability and peace and quiet to my world prior to that - i hated the dating game and it was stressful as i lived in fear alot because somehow i always ended up with the man who was brute acting towards me if he couldn't get his way. many times these were not street, uneducated men - they were educated and financially sound individuals - you really don't know people til you are behind closed doors with them.

i have always found myself having to protect myself alot against either fat women or overly macho acting men who more times than not were in the wrong.

so i'm sorry for the paragraph - it hit a chord inside of me.  nothing personal against you though.  you know i like your posts.

I had to pick up a gun a while back - I would leave a man and/or not return calls and duck out of the relationship because I just didn't want to attach myself and would realize it on the 2nd or 3rd date and I have had too many stalkers to keep count.  Did you know that stalkers also threaten?  I had one guy had hid in a tree across the street from my condo or would jump out of the shrubbery next to the porch light when I was turning the key in the door to enter.  Another one was an ex-marine gone nuts and I didn't find out until the 3rd date and I couldn't shake this dude.  He would clown me at the club.  We didn't even sleep together.  He would threaten other dudes and follow me home from the club, arrive moments after I got home and wake the neighbors screaming my name at 2am on my street in a quiet all white neighborhood.  The guys were large, muscular - oooo no - I had to get a pearl handled purse size 22 at that time, restraining orders, police protection. I have had more than my share.

Now you see why I can't do the fist fighting thing?  I would be fighting all the time and my harmony and peace of mind that is critical to my stability = no fighting.  These African American dudes oooo weeeee - can get real ignorant.

MzDarkSkin:
[color=#0066ff]Yes.
Especially if the woman is heavy handed like me.
I have fought a guy before and YES I kicked his azz.
No need to lie! It was a BIG deal in my community 
My mom was a fighter (she HAD to be) and so are her daughters, she being
the 'Lioness' taught her cubs well how to defend ourselves against
other females and YES males.

@Shy-One two of my sisters are light skinned, one being more brown
and both of them I am sure wouldn't want to be 'bruised' but when it's
a matter of defending oneself, bruises are the least on their mind.
Fighting a man who wants to hurt you is a matter of defending, not 'time wasting'.

I resent that statement.  [/color]

Sorry boo

But why even waste your time resenting comments I make that APPLY SOLELY TO ME AND MY CHOICES IN LIFE?  That is how I feel - I am not going to fist fight another person.  I don't have the time, the desire or the inclination.  It has nothing to do with whether I know how to fight or not.  I was raised with men - so I can fight.  And I know how to be quite extreme with it when I choose to be. Anymore - I just choose not to.  I don't focus on much outside of making money.  To me - and FOR ME personally - I am not a boxer getting paid to fight so to me it is a "time waster."

For instance - I don't play cards unless money is involved.  It is rare that I give out advice unless being paid to give it.  Because I paid to learn it - one way or the other.

So don't resent girlfriend.  My comment applies strictly to me.  I don't use my fists and subject myself to bruises - I will unload a gun first.  I used to carry a gun and a gun license.  I don't any longer.  I really rely on God more so now as much as possible.  But hey - I am still learning just like everybody else.

Also, My appearance is very important to my career.  How I look.  So bruises ain't rollin on Shy-One.

@ OP

Brazilian weave?  IT looks completely real.  My natural hair is that exact consistency - that is why I thought the weave was your hair.

OK - in December 2008 because my hair was badly damaged from lack of moisture, lack of care, stress, over colored and over permed - I cut my hair completely off and started fresh - I had the stylist cut it to about less than half an inch long. Everybody was mad at me - I didn't care - they see my hair today - and are mad now because it's running down my back. Only please yourself - when it comes to your self-care.

Here are the products I used and I kid you not.  A leave-in-creme based conditioner that coats the hair and protects it.  I trim my ends every 4-5 weeks without missing, wash it ONCE A WEEK with either Olive Oil Shampoo or Creme of Nature Shampoo and put in a conditioner with a plastic cap to hold in heat and rinse conditioner out - about 30 minutes later and then put in a leave-in-conditioner (I can't remember the name - but it is excellent as the results outweigh any conditioner I have ever used - when I go home - I will get the name to post a link to you).

Here is the critical part - I lightly oil my temple all the way around my head everyday and I oil the very tips/ends of my hair every other day.  Also sleep in a silk cap every night.  Don't over brush and use a wide tooth comb.

Drink loads of water and eat vegetables (green).

My hair now sits between my shoulder blades and it has been exactly 2 years and 3 months later.  I am working towards it touching my elbows by this time next year.

I am very tender headed so I don't ever get braids or weave (sew in or glue) - I tried maybe 3 times to get my hair braided - brought tears to my eyes and I saw stars {it wasn't night time} it hurt soo bad.  I took the braids down 2-3 days later - a waste of time.  When I took the braids down - a lot of my natural hair came out as well.  So whoever said braids grow your hair - it never grew mine - it always took my hair out.

all conversation would cease

let's hope that he is as creative as I am on a physical level

soprano is my octave - i will find out just how high is his

TRUST ME

I agree with Thirst4Lif to a degree

Women actually have also said that to men.  I know I have!!

Some men aren't husband material or boyfriend material and some women aren't wife or girlfriend material.

Not because they can't - but because THEY CHOOSE NOT TO BE.  When I was in college - I didn't want a steady boyfriend - my commitment was to my studies not a mate.  Also, it wasn't because I "just wasn't into him."  It was more that I wasn't "that into having a relationship."

I wasn't interested in being "owned."  I didn't want him owning my time, my choices, my activities, my friends, what I wear and such. Also I didn't want to claim ownership to "feeling guilty" that I wasn't being honest and was misleading someone to think that our activities were more than they were or would lead to more than they were at that time.

Because I really didn't know what I wanted - but I did know that I wanted companionship but just didn't want to commit to someone yet because I didn't know if I would "outgrow him or the young puppy love college relationship." 

I refuse to live in my parents shoes or allow my parents or my social society to dictate my dating habits.  Neither my parents nor society was dating him - lightly or seriously - I was.

I can definitely understand those who are Nigerians - either lying and/or not willing to unveil, avoid answering because in all honesty.  I thought African Americans were discriminated against.

Compared to Nigerians in the U.S. - Nigerians face more discrimination here than do African Americans from what I see.  If I tell 10 out of 10 people that I am dating a Nigerian male - IT IS ALL NEGATIVE.  And shockingly this has been my personal experience.  For the past year - it has been nothing but negatives.  My family after some months of my refusing to listen and him stepping up and disproving rumors about Nigeria and Nigerians - my family now loves this man - but it took several months for them to accept my seeing him.

These are Caucasian professionals in the banking industry, teaching field, postal services, legal spheres.  UPS called me and held up a package (an envelope) that I sent to Nigeria - it was intercepted and I had to go through clearance that delayed the envelope - that was to arrive in Nigeria in preparation for a meeting.

Anything I send to Nigeria - has to be accompanied by a receipt of purchase - proving that I haven't stolen the item to ship to family members in Nigera. (I have no family members in Nigeria)  It is ridiculous.  The scrutiny I have been under since dating this Nigerian.  I have never, ever experienced anything to this level.

I spoke to a Nigerian Freight Forwarder in New Jersey (the owner) and all of his employees have been investigated by the FBI and some of his countrymen (who came from Nigeria to work for him) have been jailed.

When he sends packages to me from Nigeria -  none of the packages need receipts or invoices included.

Most Americans view Nigerians overall in a very negative light.  I don't waste time defending my relationship to people - Whether they are American or Nigerian.  But it was quite an eye-opener for me and for him.  In all honesty, I was completely unaware as I don't watch much television, news or public opinions or documentaries.  So I am so happy I knew nothing about Nigeria negative or positive - or I would have missed him.

I thought I owned my own body

But my mate(s) always thought differently.

I still have a visual of one guy crying and cursing me out when I left him for someone else - screaming at me and saying "You Gave My P.uzzy Away To Someone Else."

I was stunned by those words because I actually stupidly thought that the P.uzzy between my thighs belonged to me.

That was the first time that it dawned on me that a very large majority of men actually believe that you are their "personal property."

As long as my mate is doing what he is suppose to do in the relationship - what is mine is his.  As soon as he walks away and/or drops his responsibilities - by default, my P.uzzy immediately returns back to it's rightful owner "ME."

And Then I dictate the hallowed halls it graces.

1 Minute Man?

Only if we have been together for some years will I make that type of sacrifice.

I clearly remember 2 different guys - we had sex [I THINK - IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO CALL IT] - they both peaked in UNDER 5 minutes and then apologized profusely.  I lost interest - watched TV with the one and chewed gum while reading a book with the other.  I was quite disgusted.  Both kept saying that they were soo overly excited to be able to be with me that they couldn't hold it.  I couldn't help it!  I wasn't amused or impressed with their declarations.  I just saw it as major "time wasters."  Then to make matters worse - they both reached for me again after some time had elapsed to try to make some sort of amends to "try it again."   Which I flatly said "No."

If you are a 1 minute man because you are overly excited and have no medical problems or aren't impotent.  Being overly excited is controllable if you expend effort - a man can mentally hold back and demonstrate restraint - I've seen it happen too many times.  You can withdraw completely and give your partner before-play to slow the momento down - all kinds of options.

1 Minute Men should step in the shoes of women.  If a woman gives you a " fantastic job-blow" for 1 minute and then stops - how would you feel?

@ Poster

If a guy who is interested in me romantically - but isn't willing to visit areas that I originated from - I will withdraw from the relationship.  It is important to me that he show enough interest in me to research what makes me tick and what has been my foundation that has produced the person he is dating/will marry.

So whether it is flea ridden, mosquito ridden, disease ridden, lack of resources or not.  If I am not important enough for him to make the trip.  I will have to demote that individual to a "fair-weather" friend.  Those friends that are only around when the "getting is good" and the weather is fair. 

Basically Avon's "Skin So Soft" by default is also a VERY STRONG mosquito repellent for the worst strain-of-mosquito, the Health Department gives free shots to ward off malaria, there are enough hotel's in Africa that can provide a modicum of comfort and if you can't afford them now, save your money and wait to take the trip when "you can afford" to pay for those little extras.  Because there are large population's in the U.S. and areas of the country in the U.S. especially in the South - that are run-down, lack major resources, and as far as the eye can see there are communities of metal roof-style (shot-gun houses) that still exist in high numbers in the South - homes without indoor plumbing that don't have running water with thousands of people still out of work, uneducated in areas where jobs are scarce.

I want to see where my mate is from, what he is used to, how he reacts in different situations and scenarios which will clearly shed light on what I can expect from him in different situations.  Seeing him in his element, his surroundings is critical.  To see how he handles Africa will give me an inkling of how he will handle America, Afghanistan, Dubai, etc.

Is he resilient?  Is he creative?  Is he patient?  Long-Suffering?  Understanding?  Hard Working?  How does he react under stress?  How does he carry himself in large groups of people from different walks of life?  Does he flaunt his wares?  Is he extravagant and foolishly trying to show off?  Is it important to him to be a big man to others and a little man to me?  How does he conduct himself around those that he knows and in his community in Africa?  This is what I need to see prior to my getting too deeply involved. 

That is why it is important for others to visit you in your natural habitat. As it is reflective to who you are and how you are.

segzi cres:
what if the guy's got bills? im sure you won't mind!

I have my own bills - flat stomach or no date

Now if we are doing business together - yes - I will go out with him if it is business related then his big stomach is his business.

But romance - he must have flat stomach.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=632045.msg7992338#msg7992338 date=1301168290]OMG!

We went from "white" people hair to "white" people voice? The hell? There are white people in the States that sound as though if their parents were black and they live in Upper Class neighborhoods. They were not adopted nor displaced. Their parents is whiter than Snow White and yet if you close your eyes you would have sworn it was a black man or woman you have spoken to according to what people say black people "sound".

How you sound vocally does not have anything to do with which neighborhood you are from or where you went to school. George Bush Jr for an example.

He was a President of United of America twice and went to an Ivy League primary and secondary school. He is oyinbo and his family are social elites. He talks though as if he was born yesterday with a cleft and dumb as bleep.[/quote]I completely agree Mrs. C.

ogugua88:
Quite a few actually. The reason no one notices is because the texture of the weave matches their natural hair. Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Miley Cyrus are just a few white American celebs to mention. If black women wore weaves that were subtle and blended in with their hair, we'd be wondering how many of them wear them. It's because so many go for blue, purple, orange, 6-feet high, and all these other foreign styles that it's easy to label the hair as fake.

Lol @ black men slurring to sound white. You'd be surprised. Some AA's simply sound like that. I do, kind of unfortunate, but I do. He was probably raised in a better neighborhood and attended better schools compared to some of his counterparts.

Every syllable that dropped from your lips is SPOT ON!!!!!

Very, very correct.

I encourage everyone to do the best they know to do - to their ability

God is understanding and Loving

If YOU achieve to "your best knowledge and your best ability" and you are genuine and sincere - that is ALL you can do.

With each choice you make comes growth

Trust that God knows that.

He is the judge and the jury - NOT MAN

@ Poster

What a rush!! - An overly busy past 2 days - it is 8:40pm in Indiana and 1:40am in Lagos.

I have some information for you and it is detailed and I am just now slowing down enough to even look at it - so I am going to post on Saturday to you - because I haven't had time to review it to format it for you in a legible manner that you can easily follow.

I contacted 4 people who did the research and majority of gathering of information for me (as most time - my time is limited) - 3 have responded to me - as soon as I rest - as I am exhausted - I will put the notes together in a cohesive format and post - so give me until Saturday (tomorrow).

The 4th individual most likely won't provide their information until Monday - but I do have more than enough from the 3 of the 4.

In no way am I suggesting that you choose any route whatsoever - I just want you to have information available that gives you more than one option.

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=620294.msg7984480#msg7984480 date=1301061486]Referring to the bold, I sure hope that is true.[/quote]TRUST ME!! I am good boo boo

You sound like my over protective brother who lives in New York - he always is soo concerned about me and my feelings and whatnot. It's good because I understand that he means soo well - but it can be suffocating too.

I have been soo busy today - I am soo happy! but I just only have a few seconds here and a few seconds there to reply to different threads. I'll check back later - have a great Friday.

Yayyyyyy it's Friday!

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=620294.msg7982051#msg7982051 date=1301038129]I was only commenting to what you shared on this thread and took what you said as the basis of my responses.  I can't come up with anything other than what you shared and by no means I was not trying to offend you because you sounded though you was offended.  Not everybody are out to get you. 

You said that you do not hang with people that are not quality so therefore I stated that in order to get quality friends or I should have said hang around quality people you must in fact have quality not saying you per se but used what you said as a basis to my response. 

The amount of friends does not determine you so having multiple friends is not that important what more important is your contribution to life.  Some people do feel bad because the have this amount of friends that they are not liked or whatever which again not everybody can obtain decent friends these days.  The only friend that should matter is the MOST HIGH and that real.[/quote]I sound upset?  ooooo - yeah the internet I keep forgetting - internet communication has it's disadvantages - I was actually celebrating when I typed the response about my feelings for 2 friends - I was sad but not in anyway upset about this topic on any level, dear one.

I actually just left a birthday party gathering and had a really great time.  As it is rare that I go out and I was beyond past due on some downtime.

Whose out to get me?  lololololol - I don't think anybody is out to get me.  That is too much of a time waster for anybody that is ABOUT SOMETHING.  Anyone that "isn't about something," if they are out to get me - that's not any never mind to me.  It will involve too much work on their part trying to get me because unfortunately for everybody involved, I am unattainable even to myself many times.  lololololol

It's Friday!!!! yayyyyyyyyy - I still have to work this weekend - but I will only work half a day today.  All of my friends ARE QUALITY or I don't imbibe - PERIOD

There are quite a few quality people in this world Mrs. C.  I just missed those 2 a bit because their humor and culinary skills were the bomb!!!  When you meet good people - you can't but miss them when you have to depart from them.  But it's not worth my typing another word about - TRUST ME - it isn't that deep.

Just a comment to a thread these days.