₦airaland Forum

[quote author=kay-money link=topic=567570.msg7344138#msg7344138 date=1292455116]@ Shy-one i really know where you coming from* But its just common here for people to attack you-hate you-and beef you despite the fact that they dont know you** As for me I select people I talk to and i  dont quote people i know that all what they represent is hate** Since i dont fuccking care about such people I see them as insignificant people ~[/quote]Kay

But why? Why do they do this? I just don't understand the logic or the act especially out of the clear blue?

Ok - so which one are you in the picture?

Are you the green sweater?

Thank you Inked

@ Kay

I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be rude or b.itchy.

I just don't understand why people go out of the way to attack others for no "apparent reason." I guess I'm just not going to keep ignoring this - I am human and have feelings.

I can understand if I deserved it but my comments are my comments and are more supportive than they are destructive. I am learning to stand up for myself.

I have for years allowed people to say what they want and I not respond. Well, I'm a big girl now and I put my foot down.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents.

d bigrod:
Am sure u are enjoying d attention u are getting from me,right.i will send mr cork to u.

little man - Please Stop yourself - Be a big boy.

Wow

Thank you Amina and Dayokanu this has been very, very helpful

I am wanting to move to a warmer climate and I want to research areas that have large Nigerian populations

Princek12:
I cope with envy by achieving more, thereby giving them more to envy. I cannot sell myself short in order to please the haters, aka those who envy.

hmmm

never thought about it like that - ok

@ Amina

Thank you very much

I have been to Houston and really like what I saw

I have friends in Austin

I have heard many things about Dallas - Are the Nigerian Communities connected and do they interact with each other at social gatherings in Dallas and in Houston, do you know?

Amina:

When you are done enjoying Dayokanu can you talk to me about Dallas?

I hear that there is a large Nigerian population in Dallas.  Is this true?

Where is a good location that you would recommend in Dallas to rent and to buy homes?  The homes are nice and very low crime and good schools?

Can you list some areas for me when you have time, please?

Also, what are some things you like about Dallas?

Also, how racist is Dallas to Blacks?

Also, no rush - just when you have time, Please.

larimo:
To envy means to wish that you have what someone else has and that is a vice. You cannot stop people from being envious but you can control how you present yourself before envious people especially friends.

You need to wear the traits of humility, kindness, etc and don't make it appear that you take pride in the things you have (which itself is a vice). I may drive an expensive car but if I know someone is envious, I would encourage him/her by saying things like, "i know that this car will be too small for you when you buy someday".

I must not slap anything in his/her face that would fuel/feed their envy, These are my thots

I love this response.

@ Inked & kay-money:

OK - thank you for the lesson.

So to translate - d bigrod has resorted to name calling - a cheap tactic utilized by those who lack substance and knowledge and instead of simply "being quiet" or "walking back his words" as he obviously has no clue to what he is talking about in reference to myself - he who looks to be in a 'man's body" actually is in possession of a "child's mind."  Grade-school to be precise - kindergarten level understanding. 

He is not worth time of day or thought.

wack

what does that mean?

@strangerf

I need an additional day to respond to you.  I have yet to collaborate with my mate who has worked very late today.  We will collaborate in the morning and I will respond to you at that time.

I hope that is alright.

HTown Eve:
You are welcome shy_one. 
I do take money orders, checks, gift cards, or credit cards. LOL.   

Just messing witcha.   

lololololol

I completely agree with you - I'm not messing with you or kidding.

Can you take a gift to the car lot and buy a car?  NO, unless it's the gift of cash/money
Can you take a gift to the bank and deposit it into your account?  NO - unless it's the gift of cash/money

Don't get me wrong, Gifts that are non-money, are still very nice because they are lovingly selected by your mate and by you - to your mate
But actual cash is just as necessary if not MORE SO

Cash buys land, cars, stock, peace of mind, future for offspring

I never have understood why people are so reluctant to discuss cash.  Just as long as you treat others as you would want to be treated and you are both honest and not overly greedy - ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING should be "fair game" to anticipate and discuss with and between you and your mate.

I don't want a broke, unemployed man because he won't be getting in me - a broke, unemployed woman.

HTown Eve:
Shy_One
I think you were misconstrued by bigrod. Still he shouldn't have disrespected you though.

Shy_One,
Pardon me but I think you meant to say you like good things and you work for it. You are high maintenance but you take care of yourself right?
When it comes to relationships, it is not all about money but you both work together to achieve financial success right?

Wow!!!

My gosh - I think you've got it!!!

Come on down - you've won the jackpot.

Thank you so much - that wasn't hard. It was so clear - I love when I run into intelligent people. That is EXACTLY what I was saying - maybe I needed to "dumb it down" but I didn't think my way of saying it was too "academic" - I don't know maybe it was.

Whatever it was or wasn't - I am very grateful to you for being able to translate it - because your wording is how I live my life.

[quote author=Inked_Nerd link=topic=567570.msg7342877#msg7342877 date=1292440692]
Oh my . If that really is dbigrod, then he's really cute [/quote]Ink:

That's what I thought. I thought he was really cute as well - those women are hanging on to him like they struck gold bullion. And they are attractive, well-dressed and appear to be intelligent.

d bigrod is given out more than sex and gifts - you best believe that. He has the nerve to highlight my post and put me down for stating the obvious.

I don't date for money - but once marriage is in the picture - you better believe we are talking money - this is my future and his future and money makes this world go around. My baby is happy I talk as I do - because it immediately removes the stigma of "we shouldn't talk about money and/or the fear and reluctance to discuss cash."

We are much more relaxed around each now.

I said it once, I'll say it twice, I'll say it thrice.

"No cash, no azzz."

The man that can't recognize that "simple thought process" and see it's beauty and necessity to LIFE on this planet isn't worth my time or attention.

It takes money to make this world go around and that is FACT

"Your Foot/My Foot" - what is mine is his and what is his is mine.  My man and I aren't scared to talk money AT ALL TIMES.  Nor let each other know what the other needs.

We have already proved to each other that neither of us is a "gold-digger."

We are 2 mature, responsible, loving, realistic individuals - as we make money TOGETHER.

@ d Bigrod:

You lie!!!  That absolutely cannot be you in that picture - I am confused as to how YOU are surrounded by women.  You don't even know how to talk to a woman.  Your approach to me was random and ridiculous.  You want to talk to me, but you DON'T KNOW HOW, so instead of talking YOU GO ON THE ATTACK at my obvious words that aren't even remotely confusing or misleading.

Then you threaten me after you totally reword/misconstrue my response I made to the OP - I wasn't even talking to you.

It is obvious what I said which was that I give as much as I get in monies, gifts and affection from my mate.  That I am supportive of him and of OUR RELATIONSHIP.

If you cannot contribute intellectually or meet me halfway on a "courtesy level."  Don't direct any of your words at me in future.

[quote author=Mrs, Eve link=topic=568608.msg7342347#msg7342347 date=1292435284]I agree all Nigerian men aren't crooked (hush Jaybee) and they are not that special however many women opt for FOREIGN men with papers already but then again if you meet a Foreign who doesn't have papers ENTER WITH CAUTION,

We ALL have judgements about people in general and don't be no fool IN ANY SITUATION.[/quote]Thank you Mrs. Eve.

@ OP

I am soo ashamed to admit this - but I blew my fiancee off when he first contacted me on the internet because he was living in Africa.  I didn't even know the Nigeria part or Nigeria's reputation.  It was that I am not unattractive so I didn't have the need to meet someone online and do anything with them at all.  Also, I wasn't interested in dating anyone period.  Then after I shared with my family that this Nigerian man is emailing me - my family scared me really bad and told me all kinds of things about Nigerians and scammers and all of this scary stuff that they had read online and saw on tv.  My husband had died and my family was overly protective of me and didn't want me to fall in the wrong hands because I was crying all the time and I just wasn't myself mentally or physically.  Also, the long distance thing makes it "sooo much more work"  and I had no energy because of the deep depressions that were hitting me constantly - it was hard enough just to stay awake for 4 hours or 2 hours a day because the depression robs you of the will to live.

But I will tell you what - He NEVER GAVE UP, NEVER.  He continued to email me until I started to respond and THANK GOD he didn't give up on me.  He filled my inbox with emails - we started to chat then online - he taught me how to chat online because I didn't know.  Then he started mailing packages to my home from Nigeria - to my front door.  We talked so much that it was as if he was in the living room with me - we talked as soon as I woke up, on and off throughout the day, everyday and again right before I went to sleep.

My advice to you is to NOT GIVE UP if this person is still on your mind.  Reach out.  Or move on.  In my situation and in my case/his case - we are still going strong and it is almost one year.  I have begged his forgiveness for being "racist and buying into categorizing him" - I ignore the naysayers now and actually my family CANNOT WAIT to meet him and are looking forward to our marriage as they have never seen me so happy in a very long time.  He has spoken several times with my family on the phone.  He has sent videos and pictures and gifts and money and in return I have done the same with him to Nigeria.

I love him sooo deeply.

Again - your apology has been accepted

Let's put that behind us - we won't mention it again

Thank you for apologizing

I hope to talk tomorrow - I will definitely follow-thru

Have a good evening.

OK

4pm Wednesday - I'm assuming that it will be alright - I just need to confirm with him - he is a great guy

I am now quite humble too.

I would like to help you

Let me talk to him and I will log back in later today ok?

I will log back on at 4pm

You and I share the same time

I have been able to help alot of people legally

Would you feel comfortable giving me a phone number and we talk via phone?

I will talk to him first and explain the situation We talk a few times during the day - I will see if I can call you after I speak with him tomorrow afternoon.

Once I mention this - I think he will be ok - I just need to check with him first.

Is that OK with you? MY YIM has my name in it and I don't want to list it on this forum

I understand

I completely believe that you went through hell

Most minorities - Asian, AA, African and Latinos generally go through hell in that state and I KNOW YOU AREN'T LYING OR OVER EXAGGERATING

Wisconsin and Minnesota run neck and neck to holding the honor of having the highest Prison Incarceration Rate for Blacks against the 50 States in the U.S.

A professor from California wrote papers and dialogued on that issue.

In Wisconsin - there are several towns that the ONLY INDUSTRY that feeds the towns population is to be able to work at the local prison.  I am completely serious when I say it is an industry.

Also - be aware that there are very FEW BLACKS that live in the Northern parts of Wisconsin.  It was normal for a white student to walk up to me and to admit that they had "never seen a black person before but on TV."  And a large majority of those white students have parents that work at the prison and there is a large population of black inmates and they only hear about those types of blacks.  Many times whites mix AA and Africans in the same pot mentally and don't see the different - they just see the black/brown/yellow skin and assume we are all alike.  And so these students hear these BS prison stories and sit next to us in class and assume that a black university student behaves and is the the same as an incarcerated inmate.

The fight in the U.S. is actually a centuries long fight over resources and "color/racism" is utilized to win the fight over resources (good jobs/good homes/fat bank accounts/country club membership/etc).   And as you know since you now live in the U.S. that most of the crap on TV is fabricated and isn't the "real U.S.".

So these whites are convinced that most blacks are trash as you yourself initially addressed me - those same people look at Africa in that same light as do most Americans as we don't know any better - we buy into what we see.  But it is for us to educate others.

That is why I am going to research thoroughly before I relocate to any other state in the U.S.

As far as giving you my YIM address - I would love to - but my man would NOT UNDERSTAND and my actions are no longer my own as I share my actions with him and I cannot dishonor him by meeting you for ANY REASON on YIM.

My apologies to you.  Maybe we can share some experiences on NL through a thread - I just cannot risk losing him - he knows my address on NL and I am sure that he reads my comments when he has time - he works constantly as do I - so he doesn't keep up with everything but I was directed not to give out any contact information when he told me about NL.

Soo sorry.  I hope you are doing better - New Jersey can be a great area.

strangerf:
I lived in Green bay "Favre's country" for quite sometime

Nice state, but too many close minded people

I Have a lotta friends in Madison, was there once; was gonna do some research on the Madison campus, cancelled at the last minute for lack of funding

Too many 'fat biotches' though, excuse my language

I hated Wisconsin - very close minded - because the German Immigrants settled heavily in Wisconsin (I am a History Buff as was my Father) - very, very racists.  If you are a black man in Wisconsin and you aren't an athlete - you are going nowhere.  The racism is so extreme that you can cut it with a knife.

Fat is everywhere in the U.S. - that is the side effect to having so much in "excess" in this country.  I work out all the time.  Also I noticed that when I am living in the north part of the country everyone eats more because of the weather that is extremely cold and frigid - especially Wisconsin and Indiana.

When I lived in the South - people also eat alot too - but you will see overall more thin people because the heat takes the appetite - I can't eat in the heat - just drink gallons of water to survive it.

I am sorry to hear about your funding - I can refer you to some websites for student grants as there are hundreds out there - you just have to set aside the time and effort to do the research whatever your situation.

Also every city in Wisconsin has a prison - very close minded - they say - "come to Wisconsin on vacation and leave Wisconsin on probation" - prisons are an industry in Wisconsin and Minnesota.

It is critical that you do your research on cities and states prior to deciding to relocate.  I am looking to move to a warmer climate and am researching 3-4 states now.

apology accepted
so I see I have passed your test to be good enough for you to address correctly - hmmmm

however I am not a cheese head - that is Green Bay - the Packers

right now I am near Notre Dame and catering to their student population and staff

what do you mean we have something in common?

Badger is correct - red and white

UW-Madison

strangerf:
I am a Nigerian, what do you expect?

Anyway, I think its either the BO/BB option or a case of husband dying from a drive-by and wanting something better than the brother from the hood; hence. a gentle man from Lagos.

Hmm, I still think that only the ugly AAs would wanna hook up with some one online.

To me the first thing you are is a "Stranger" - so what do you mean what do I expect? You are a Nigerian - what does that tell me?

Also - ALL GENTLEMEN aren't from Lagos - as there are many gentlemen in the U.S.

I've never seen or heard a driveby - as I don't live in the hood or even near the hood.

I just left college in Wisconsin so I've lived on campus for 5 years  and have been in school - surrounded by educated, gentlemen - black and white.

This is the COMPUTER AGE - back in the day - uglies met online

2010 - EVERYBODY who is somebody is online.

He is good looking and I am good looking.  Please catch up Nigerian man.

lololololol

You are too much

If I'm not white trash - then you think I'm black trash

If you are looking for entertainment - turn on your television.

Also - for me - life isn't about "landing a fellow nigga"

I don't even use that word.

Have you been to college?

strangerf:
So beautiful you couldnt land a fellow nigga in a country of 300 million people, comprising of 33 million AAs

So beautiful you had to go pick a husband thousands of miles away from Indiana

Yo , I live by the jersey shore, it 1 AM in my neck of the wood.

Lets try it again: Single mom with 4 different fathers? HS drop out? Drug dealer? Escort/call girl? On welfare? ugly beyond repair? Bad breath/ BO?

Which one? Be honest!

ahahahahahaha

Try what with you? My husband passed away and his wife passed away and so we met. I have never been traditional. I don't have kids by different fathers, I am not a HS drop out (my parents are teachers), I'm not on welfare, not a call girl/escort, I've won 3 beauty pageants.

Many times there are so many different scenarios in life. Why does it have to be in the boxes and categories that you listed? There are success stories. Get out of the gutter. Since you are on the Jersey Shore - you should know this, But I guess you are surrounded by alot of the above.

So it's a bit challenging for you to see life outside of those boxes huh?

strangerf:
Hmm, tells me a lot: White trash? redneck? low self esteem? rebeling against a racist father? fat? have a face only a mother could love? single mom?

Which one?

It has to be one of the above

What? Where did you come from? I'm AA and beautiful and I wasn't looking for a man. Anyway. If you wanted to approach me - you don't have a better line that this? If you are in Nigeria shouldn't you be getting ready for work instead of picking with me?