Talk2Bella: There’s nothing like a Mr. Right or a perfect man, have you ever wondered why all the type of people you seem to love or feel they will be right for you end up disappointing you? The bad boy personae? The banker personae? The professor personae? The yahoo boy personae? Etc.
Growing up, you have envisioned the type of man you want to spend the rest of your life with, you have set up certain criteria of how your dream man should be, look and act like; when the time comes for you to date you reject every responsible person who comes your way because you have a picture of what your Mr. Right is supposed to be like, SISTER WAKE UP!
Have y’all ladies ever wondered why you envy other people’s relationships? Mostly celebrities or people of influence; some of y’all have daydreams and wet dreams of another person’s partner because you wish him to be yours, because you feel he is your dream man, you feel he is the exact replica of what your Mr. Right should be like, you begin to plot how you even want your present partner to emulate another man because you have been deceived by the media and other women who live fake lives that there’s such a thing as Mr. Right, SISTER WAKE UP!
So many single independent ladies out there who have been in the single market for long are confused! Even before a man asks them out they have concocted in their heads how they will rebrand him and turn him into their dream man or Mr. Right, dear men this is what we call a MR RIGHT NOW! In economic terms {if the preferable isn’t available, the available becomes the preferable} while there’s nothing bad with this most times it doesn’t work because we’re trying to change you into who you’re not just to fit the Mr. Right criterion.
Someone once asked me, what do you look for in a man? It’s not bad to have certain standards or criteria of what a future partner should possess, but it is stupid to meet someone who possesses 50/60 percent of these criteria and you deem him unworthy, no one I repeat one one on earth is a 100% complete, never was, never will be and that’s the mistake we ladies make because we focus more on other people’s facade of a relationship instead of trying to build ours, SISTER WAKE UP!
Have you ever entered into any relationship without goals? Expectations? Criteria? I know something must attract you at first but after that physical attraction, do you dump all your expectations at the door and say to yourself {let me see how this goes, let me go along with the ride, let me not expect anything and surprise myself, maybe something is wrong with my criteria, let me allow this man love me his own way, let me take the risk of not wanting anything and maybe just maybe in my want for nothing I might be contented} have you? And that my sister is what creates the avenue for a forever after.
Ever heard that joke? If your Mr. Right is going left please bring him to the right, you laugh at this but yet you don’t understand the heavy message this joke carries, someone might possess all the qualifications of what your Mr. Right should be but because of his physical appearance, financial capability or family background you tend to waive them aside, he’s handsome but short, he’s rich but disabled, he’s intelligent but not motivated, he’s shy but cold, he’s eloquent but foul, and so we complain about all creatures on earth, SISTER WAKE UP!
Do not let your peers deceive you, once they get hooked they know there’s nothing like a Mr. Right, they came to that conclusion before they got hooked and tried to live with it, it’s because they made peace with it that’s why you now envy them and want to emulate them, once you get a man who possesses a wee bit of those qualities you want in a man, make do with it as time goes on you would love him for the other part of those qualifications he’s not, no one can be right or perfect for another, it’s in our imperfections that’s where the true test of love lies.
[quote author=Talk2Bella post=52358854]There’s nothing like a Mr. Right or a perfect man, have you ever wondered why all the type of people you seem to love or feel they will be right for you end up disappointing you? The bad boy personae? The banker personae? The professor personae? The yahoo boy personae? Etc.
Growing up, you have envisioned the type of man you want to spend the rest of your life with, you have set up certain criteria of how your dream man should be, look and act like; when the time comes for you to date you reject every responsible person who comes your way because you have a picture of what your Mr. Right is supposed to be like, SISTER WAKE UP!
Have y’all ladies ever wondered why you envy other people’s relationships? Mostly celebrities or people of influence; some of y’all have daydreams and wet dreams of another person’s partner because you wish him to be yours, because you feel he is your dream man, you feel he is the exact replica of what your Mr. Right should be like, you begin to plot how you even want your present partner to emulate another man because you have been deceived by the media and other women who live fake lives that there’s such a thing as Mr. Right, SISTER WAKE UP!
So many single independent ladies out there who have been in the single market for long are confused! Even before a man asks them out they have concocted in their heads how they will rebrand him and turn him into their dream man or Mr. Right, dear men this is what we call a MR RIGHT NOW! In economic terms {if the preferable isn’t available, the available becomes the preferable} while there’s nothing bad with this most times it doesn’t work because we’re trying to change you into who you’re not just to fit the Mr. Right criterion.
Someone once asked me, what do you look for in a man? It’s not bad to have certain standards or criteria of what a future partner should possess, but it is stupid to meet someone who possesses 50/60 percent of these criteria and you deem him unworthy, no one I repeat one one on earth is a 100% complete, never was, never will be and that’s the mistake we ladies make because we focus more on other people’s facade of a relationship instead of trying to build ours, SISTER WAKE UP!
Have you ever entered into any relationship without goals? Expectations? Criteria? I know something must attract you at first but after that physical attraction, do you dump all your expectations at the door and say to yourself {let me see how this goes, let me go along with the ride, let me not expect anything and surprise myself, maybe something is wrong with my criteria, let me allow this man love me his own way, let me take the risk of not wanting anything and maybe just maybe in my want for nothing I might be contented} have you? And that my sister is what creates the avenue for a forever after.
Ever heard that joke? If your Mr. Right is going left please bring him to the right, you laugh at this but yet you don’t understand the heavy message this joke carries, someone might possess all the qualifications of what your Mr. Right should be but because of his physical appearance, financial capability or family background you tend to waive them aside, he’s handsome but short, he’s rich but disabled, he’s intelligent but not motivated, he’s shy but cold, he’s eloquent but foul, and so we complain about all creatures on earth, SISTER WAKE UP!
Do not let your peers deceive you, once they get hooked they know there’s nothing like a Mr. Right, they came to that conclusion before they got hooked and tried to live with it, it’s because they made peace with it that’s why you now envy them and want to emulate them, once you get a man who possesses a wee bit of those qualities you want in a man, make do with it as time goes on you would love him for the other part of those qualifications he’s not, no one can be right or perfect for another, it’s in our imperfections that’s where the true test of love lies.
Benita27: Assuming you were doing very well: had a nice job, either an entrepreneur or a nominal wage earner, had cars, and a lovely home.
You saw a damsel,and decided to perform marriage rites on her, within a year in the marriage, you went from one calamity to the other, and virtually became broke.
Do You Question Your Marriage To Her?, Or Give God The Glory?.
[quote][/quote]I have not just heard but also seen. Things don't just happen, something is behind it. Pardon me, am not trying to be negative but very sure of what am saying and so...... Yes, I will question it.
LaCruzz: Just beause the ‘chase’ is a crucial part of the relationship, doesn’t mean that you should chase your boyfriend to keep your relationship interesting. Men should still do the chasing for these reasons. We all have heard about the rules, and how we should break some of them so we can keep our relationship exciting. Among these rules is role reversals. We should chase our boyfriends and, in turn, they should play hard to get. While this is something that some couples claim has helped their relationships, it does not mean that you should give it a try in yours, too. We’ve rounded up eight compelling reasons for you to say pass when it comes to chasing your man because it’s him who should chase you!
1. It’s exhausting Either he’s interested in strengthening your relationship or he’s not. He can’t be in-between. He can’t be undecided. More importantly, it’s just not right to play games (which is what happens when he plays hard to get), especially if you’re serious about him and the relationship. This does not mean that you should give him an ultimatum. Instead, find time to sit down and talk like two adults.
2. It affects your self-esteem Yes, you’ll certainly find chasing your man thrilling and challenging at first, but what happens when he assumes the role of a hard-to-get and hard-to-please man longer than you think is necessary? Wouldn’t it be a huge blow to your ego? It’s not like you need another reason for your self-esteem to go down, right? Thus, it only makes sense to let your man do the chasing. After all, they’ve been hardwired to chase what they desire and not to accept defeat. Chasing you will surely give his ego the kind of high it needs from time to time.
3. You miss out on time doing more important things in the relationship Chasing your man and playing games with him is a complete waste of time. You two will be better off doing activities that can help to build and strengthen your bond with each other like going on dates, planning a weekend road trip or doing just about anything that can bring you close to each other’s hearts. Aside from this, it’s also important to take note that while the chase helps to keep you and him in your toes, the thrill and excitement it brings will wear off in the long run. Instead, it will be annoying and may lead to misunderstanding, which can cause your relationship to end eventually.
4. You forget that you have needs, too Your boyfriend acts difficultly and coyly and as a response; you persevere against all odds to get his attention. You know that he’s not being reasonable anymore, but your heart says that you should still chase him because making sacrifices and understanding him are all part of the relationship (and you knew that when you signed up for the relationship in the beginning so you can’t really complain). Because you were so busy trying to find ways to make your man notice you, you neglect yourself in the process. This is one of the ugliest downside of chasing him because you should never have to sacrifice your personal needs and sanity just so he will be happy.
5. You become a doormat in the process If you’ve been chasing your man for a long time now, chances are he thinks you’ve become desperate for him and your relationship (and you can’t really blame him). When he has this misguided thinking, he will put you to the test to see how far you’re willing to go just to please him. The result is that you will put up with all the stupid things he does because you’re afraid of showing him that you’ve given up on the chase. This then makes you a doormat and, in case you missed it, guys don’t love and adore doormats.
6. You lose your sense of self You forget how you are an independent and strong woman who does not take nonsense from any man. Because your emotions have already overtaken you and you’ve become obsessed with chasing your man, you forgot who you are and what you deserve. It’s a hard reality that women who have been chasing their partners only realize when it’s already too late. So, while you still have time and some self-worth, back off from the chasing game. Let your boyfriend chase you, and if he can’t be man enough to do that, maybe he’s not really worth it after all.
7. He’s not that great of a catch as you’ve thought While it’s somehow understandable and forgivable if you go crazy over chasing your boyfriend if he’s a ten, it’s the opposite if he’s 5 or less (both in the looks and attitude department). What will you get from chasing a guy who obviously doesn’t deserve a glance from you? Why would you even chase him in the first place? Think about your answers to these questions, then consider why you’re even with him if he’s not worth your affection at all.
[b]8. Chivalry isn’t a part of what you signed up for Your boyfriend has to realize that not everything he needs will be handed to him as if he’s a king. If he wants to be treated as one, he will first have to prove that he’s worth the queen’s trust and affection. He should prove that he can be a knight in shining armor, always ready to save the queen when she’s in distress. He needs to chase her and prove she’s worth more than his whole kingdom. When he’s succeeded already, only then is he entitled to every perk that comes with being the queen’s partner.
Times have changed and men have decided to sit back, relax and let women do the chasing. However, a man who really loves you will not let you shoulder the burden that the chase brings, but rather treat you exclusively to the high it gives.
Do you think it’s men who should do the chasing? For what other reasons do you think women should never chase their boyfriends? Share your thoughts in the comments.
ConcNiggress56: I know the title is funny but it is true as absurd as it may sound. Guys and cheating are 5 and 6 but trust me, even while cheating, they think about the girl they care about. So, except you are a side chic, you have a chance to tie him down forever and make him walk down the aisle with you. From time to time, i give my man the best food he can't get outside.. Makes him rush to my place to have more. I give him the best mindblowing sex he can ever have.. This makes him come more than 5 times every other day we engage in such. I text him from time to time and he has a job that keeps him busy (from 8-5pm). He is very handsome and a ladies' man.. I feel so lucky to have him.. But sharing him with one girl from hell will make me lose my cool. He knows this and respects me.. I am loyal and he's loyal.
Your comments are welcomed.
[quote][/quote]The guy will give her money, cheats and still thinks about her, she won't give rather collects from him, cheats on him and won't never think about him but will follow the other guy. If proper check and observation are put in place for SHE ( although they hide things like cat) the way it's being done for HE ( like goat they say that don't hide), people will be amazed with the outcome. It's all good, just saying...
computerboy: So Nairalanders fight their babes Men fight their wives Fathers rape their daughters Guys masturbate.......
All I see are men and guys, So women don't desire sex too?
[quote][/quote]My brother, thought I was the only person that observed it.... - like gf don't fight bf for sex -like wives don't fight husbands for sex - girls don't know what masturbation is!! let's stop hiding under our shells and be sincere....
[/quote][quote author=humilitypays post=51695122]My sister, the problem is not guys, the problem lies with the ladies, how and why you may ask Let me tell you why you ladies are to blame for your relationship woes and heartbreaks:
Majority of ladies in this our side of the planet are greedy. Because of greed, you ladies have too high expectation from guys, and as a result, you ladies ignore the average guys and fall for the alpha male who see themselves as gift to all women!
While growing up, most ladies pick wrong fantasies about who their ideal man is based on romance movies and novels they read. Ladies want tall, dark/fair, rich, outgoing, fun-loving guys. These kind of guys are highly sort after and they know it,so they can keep to one lady, not possible. It's the same reason singer Flavour is busy sleeping and impregnating all girls he meets because most Nigerian ladies are dumb!
Imagine after seeing Flavour's promiscuous and wayward lifestyle, many ladies including Yemi Alade, Chidinma, and many other Nigerian ladies still want Flavour, which shows how gullible and greedy women are!
Do you know that few men are dating plenty women while many guys are completely single, why Because ladies keep running after those few men with super-alpha qualities while ignoring, snubbing and turning down the numerous genuinely good guys who would love and worship them.
Men are more realistic with who they go after to date or love but women aren't realistic!
An average Nigerian guy can't see Chidinma, Tiwa Savage, Genevieve Nnaji, Yemi Aladi, Oluchi Orlandi, Agbani Darego, etc and go after her or wish to date her and get her to love him, but you will see one Mgbeke girl with less than 200k in her bank account living in one room apartment with all her family fantasizing and wishing to date/marry Wizkid, Dbanj, Flavour, or some rich, handsome guy, and she doesn't expect the guy to cheat on her because she is who
Women of our time must learn to be realistic in life like their male counterparts, go for your level of guy and work and pray with him to grow together than accepting guys who see u as worthless woman that have only sex to offer to them!
Once a man knows u have other great values to offer to him other than sex, he won't play or joke with u, but if sex is all u have to offer to men, then expect plenty heartbreak even after he marries u!
You just hit the nail on the head. Ladies follow this up and you will surely come back to NL and testify your observations....
[/quote][quote author=Sexytemi post=51693554]All men aren't cheats, but 90% are.
You are wrong, just like saying all lady sleeps with married men say 90% . Which to me is not right... Don't judge everybody the same but individually which is Gods judgement way.
You think its part of our culture to be having babies without man or marriage or stability .. If its not y do alot of wayward chics go n abort if its ok to be single mum
Charlentine: You are correct! There was an episode of a program called MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE where a grown man went to the lake with his toddler son, to sail a toy boat for fun. Then a 9 year old boy showed up and rudely asked the man to leave that spot; that he OWNED the spot. Ofcourse the man told him off (even quite politely, that nobody "owned" any of the seats there) and the boy left in a sinister way.
Next, as the man was happily sailing his remote-controlled boat, a superior boat showed up on the lake, came straight at the weaker boat, smashed it and sank it. The man was like what are u doing?? The boy retorted "I think I'm sinking your boat!!!!"
The man couldn't let the injustice go. He went home, fortified his boat, and then showed up at the same spot the next weekend. Naturally, the sinister boy came too, attacking and crashing the man's boat for the second time and laughing hysterically, only this time the man had installed a mini missile on his boat which he used to blow up the boy's predatory boat.
Now, the boy started crying "you blew my boat! it was my Grandfathers boat and he gave it to me just before he died "
All the people there were now staring at the man like he was a wicked bully, whereas nobody cared when it was the boy destroying the man's boats for no reason at all and laughing hysterically.
That's exactly what happens in society; it's no big deal if the man is the victim, but it becomes a big deal when the woman is the victim.
[/quote][quote]
You just said it all and I pray and hope the society starts taking it serious.
[/quote][quote author=Raine80 post=51615330]Domestic violence happens to both men and women hits because the effect on women is highlighted more men still get affected as well.
Charlentine: Bad idea, bro. Shes a very stubborn girl. I mean very, very stubborn. Shes the typical beautiful, well financed, entitled chic who feels that the world turns however she thinks it turns (I'd say fvcking naive, excuse my French!). The only reason I even got into the subject with her was because I just wanted to show her that she was wrong about that girl, cos she was the one telling me back then to just "try to be there for the girl" that "if you show a girl unconditional love she would change no matter what. bla bla crap " Yet when I hinted that our experiment didn't go well afterall, she only hinted back that I probably didn't try hard enough (which was why I didn't even BOTHER to tell her the details). So u can imagine. Don't waste ur time, bro.
[quote][/quote]She's so naive settles the stuff, apart from that, with her connection, money or other things ain't a problem if not b/c u said I shouldn't waste my time. she's not informed in both genders which is a drop on her side. Hope to have a discussion with such an individual one day. ... Nice one bro
Charlentine: A lot of ladies can relate to domestic violence or abuse because it is more commonly reported. But, though I know it is very embarrassing for us Guys to talk about it even with our best Buddies because somehow it makes us look and feel weak, please, this is faceless forum and its likely nobody knows you personally here, so please speak for the sake of the truth: have you ever been assaulted or abused by a female (wether a colleague, relative, girlfriend or wife)? Please don't just assume "she was crazy" because that's what we guys always say instead of calling her what she really was; an abuser!
I know a girl who runs an NGO thats against domestic violence AGAINST WOMEN. One day we were talking and I said, do u know a lot of men get abused/assaulted too by women? She says, no, in those cases it's the mans fault because women don't just instigate violence bla bla bla. I even went online and showed her some articles that explicitly listed cases of unwarranted abuse against men, by women, but she said "I don't buy it, it doesn't make any sense" which was when I humbly rest my case. I couldn't tell her that I have just come out of a relationship with a hateful, vengeful, angry, and abusive "nice" girl, and I even have two bite scars to show for it. My guess is she would dismiss that too and say it was all my fault or something like that.
Guys, please, for the sake of ignorant people, and the many other guys who may be too shy to take necessary steps, please speak. Lalasticlala, or other mods who may come across this, please put this on FP. It may help other people, because when it's happening u'll feel alone and lost cos it would seem like nobody would understand what you're going through. Thanks.
[quote][/quote]I have been sexually assaulted, my brothers and many of my friends. it happens and even still happening now, maids, etc. Pls do me a favour and link me up with the NGO lady. She will get back to u once am done with her with facts and figures. pls help me out. tnx
[quote author=Icecomrade post=51481119][b] Mr.Emeka Augustine Ozulike popularly known as (Obele), from Akwa Village in Ifitedunu, Dunukofia LGA, Anambra State.
In the name of God if na juju you do true true for xmas market boom, abeg come reverse am.
Make this babe get her life back.
But wait o, the girl in the pic is wearing a ring on her fingers? Is she Married?
Back to our Victim sister,
Am very skeptical about your own side of the story.
I doubt if this sex was not consensual. Reason is that both of you met at the restaurant and next, You agree to go to his hotel room to " Talk Better"
What more did you intend to discuss on the bed rather than Sex?
The reality is that we all make stupid decisions ones in a while, sometimes we are lucky it consequences doesn't go south.
if it does go bad
we must take responsibility and not play saint.
I rest my case.
Bros, u r on point. This is her way of life. She went there to get money from the man and to enjoy sex with their normal saying " use what u have to get what u want" but u don't know the man's plan towards u. Consequences of one's action, she has being using other men b4 but this got her. The world is not safe again, pls keep to one person and don't also say guys cheats or sleeps around, I can tell u she has a bf and went to meet the man. pls stop judging people and pray for God's guidance and direction. May God help us.
Romance › Re: Upload Your Last Selfie For This Year!!! 2016!! by Sierusvirus(m): 6:34pm On Dec 31, 2016
Let me tell you why you ladies are to blame for your relationship woes and heartbreaks: