₦airaland Forum

RIP...



the man sha... *he'll probably be cruel*

Okon & Job Interview
Naija people no go kill me with joke oo
Okon who is an illiterate was searching for a job and went to a big company to make inquiry because of the advertisement which was placed outside the company. Okon being so eager did not read the advertisement properly. He just dashed into the company and started asking for the MD. Little did he know that such a job requires someone who had been to different parts of the world.
MD: Hello young man, what can i do for you?.
Okon: Good morning sir, i came concerning the advertisement placed outside your company.
MD: I see!. I hope you know that this job requires someone who has been to various parts of the world.
Okon: Yes sir, i know.
MD: Good!. Now tell me, have you been to London?.
Okon: Yes sir, i lived there for 4 years.
MD: Wow! That’s good. How about South Africa, have you been there before?.
Okon: Yes sir, i lived there for 7 years.
MD: Incredible!. How about The United States Of America?.
Okon: I have been there sir, i lived there for 5 years.
MD: Hmm!. Then you must know alot about Geography.
Okon: Yes sir!. I have also been to Geography, i lived there for 8 years

Where Am I ?
Where Am I? Riddle !
I’ve been to many countries and when its time to go to bed; I have heard
“Good night my love” In Britain,
“Sleep tight my love” in Australia “
“Sweet dreams my love “in America,
Then I heard..
“did you lock all the doors and the windows?
What about the garage and the Gate?
Are the Dogs in?
What of the Gateman?
Did you spray the anointing oil on the doors?
Was the charm hanged very well in the sitting room?” Where am I?

BREAKING NEWS
Wonders shall never end!!!!
Obuntu (Akpors’ younger sister) – an S.S 3 student got to school in the morning and started singing. The teacher tried to stop the girl but she refused to stop. Instead, she changed from Michael Jackson to Sunny Ade. The teacher sent for her relatives at home! By the time her brother Akpors got to her school, the girl was on Ayinde Barrister. The teacher asked Akpors what her problem was all about. It was then that Akpors confessed that the girl mistakenly swallowed a 2GB memory card owned by a DJ.

Love Cake
One day, oga decided to give his wife a surprise package. He moulded a big heart cake (♥) with the assistance of the househelp, a project which took almost the whole day.
Madam came back and met the househelp sleeping and snoring:
Madam: Will you get up now! silly girl. What have you been doing since morning?
Househelp: Madam welcome. No vex abeg. Me and oga dey make love since morning. Na just now now we finish I say make I lie down small…
Imagine what will happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alam Don Scatter

Alo. i no show hia 4 fri nite... Wetin dey sele, *walk in wit full plate of suya, tinkin of eatin alone*

Today’s lesson at school is Animal science
Teacher:wot is a baby lizard called?
Akpos: a baby lizard is called lizzybaby.




No qualms, to d lizzy and wizy baby... G.nite

The Exam
During the exam, Akpors kept looking under the table, then he would write on the answer sheet. His teacher saw him doing that & thought he was copying. When collecting the paper after the exam..
Teacher: I’m gonna minus 10 marks.
Akpors: Hiiaaa!! Why sir?
Teacher: For copying.
Akpors: How do you know that I was copying?
Teacher: I saw you looking under the table.
Akpors: *laughing* Question 9 said, “STUDY THE TABLE BELOW “.

doubleDx: Smdh, which is better? "Pastor" or "Daddy"? I thought "Pastor" is a respectable tittle for a man of God? Since when did calling a "man of God" "Pastor" become disrespectful? The woman should be proud and happy her husband was called by his tittle. That goes to show how she is so ashamed of the God she claims to worship! Nigerians.....Smdh!

Ephesians 4:11-12 (KJV)

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:

Matthew 23:9 (KJV)

And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.

If "Daddy" => "Father" then her request has gone against the word of God!!

"Pastor" or any of the tittle listed in Ephesians 4:11-12 above is the best for any true man of God, unless of course her husband is running a business in the name of God....

seconded

doubleDx: Smdh, which is better? "Pastor" or "Daddy"? I thought "Pastor" is a respectable tittle for a man of God? Since when did calling a "man of God" "Pastor" become disrespectful? The woman should be proud and happy her husband was called by his tittle. That goes to show how she is so ashamed of the God she claims to worship! Nigerians.....Smdh!

Ephesians 4:11-12 (KJV)

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:

Matthew 23:9 (KJV)

And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.

If "Daddy" => "Father" then her request has gone against the word of God!!

"Pastor" or any of the tittle listed in Ephesians 4:11-12 above is the best for any true man of God, unless of course her husband is running a business in the name of God....

seconded

doubleDx: Smdh, which is better? "Pastor" or "Daddy"? I thought "Pastor" is a respectable tittle for a man of God? Since when did calling a "man of God" "Pastor" become disrespectful? The woman should be proud and happy her husband was called by his tittle. That goes to show how she is so ashamed of the God she claims to worship! Nigerians.....Smdh!

Ephesians 4:11-12 (KJV)

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:

Matthew 23:9 (KJV)

And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.

If "Daddy" => "Father" then her request has gone against the word of God!!

"Pastor" or any of the tittle listed in Ephesians 4:11-12 above is the best for any true man of God, unless of course her husband is running a business in the name of God....

seconded

[quote author=specialguest][/quote]and wat happens to couple dat ave dere weddin outside d ministry Or are all wedded b4 joinin d ministry


Chased out

Babe lightup

yomiousy olola: Yeye woman;In Yoruba,the answer that fits het most is "oni miliki o siere,alagolo lon sinwin!

100 likes joor

simdam500: Guest... U get time sef, u call someone ur fiance, and yet u wana see a pastor to confirm or for a particular reason... *to d extent dat dat woman had d gut to talk at u* smh... U brought dat to yourself o... Wat my own *wink*...




*anoda reason y i dont go 2 see a pastor* daddy koo

d last tym i check, wen pple cal God... Dey dont use d word sir, not to talk of daddy... And does d word daddy shows respect Just sayin tho... Dat ur fiance gently i swear... If it happened to me, I would ave brought u and ur mummy in christ to ur level... Mtchew

Guest... U get time sef, u call someone ur fiance, and yet u wana see a pastor to confirm or for a particular reason... *to d extent dat dat woman had d gut to talk at u* smh... U brought dat to yourself o... Wat my own *wink*...




*anoda reason y i dont go 2 see a pastor* daddy koo

On a very cool evening, Mr. Akpos was
with his family, all watching TV
when his youngest son, 'Joshua'
interrupts with a question.
Joshua: Dad(AKPORS), whats the
difference between 'potential' and '
reality'?
AKPORS (turns to wife): would u sleep
with George.W. Bush for $1 million?
Wife: Of course, I will never waste
that opportunity.
AKPORS (turns to daughter): Would u
sleep with Brad Pitt for $1 million?
Daughter: Yes! He is my fantasy.
AKPORS (turns to eldest son): Would u
sleep with Tom Cruise for $1 million?
Eldest son: Why not? Imagine what I
would do with that money.
AKPORS turns to his youngest son Joshua:
U see son, 'potentially' we are sitting
with multimillionaires BUT in 'reality'
we are sitting with two prostitutes and
one Gay

AKPORS is the Boss in the Office. Lets see how he is interviewing people.
AKPORS: There are 500
bricks on a plane. You drop one outside. How many are left?
Applicant: That's easy, 499
AKPORS: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge.
Put the elephant in.
Close the fridge.
AKPORS: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge.
Take the elephant out.
Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.
AKPORS: It's lion's birthday, all the animals are there except one, why?
Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.
AKPORS: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday.
AKPORS: Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?
Applicant: Er....I guess she drowned?
AKPORS: No! She was hit by the brick. You may leave now.

Esere... U can do dis, fit in Eve... *followin*

Tritone02: The concept is nice.... I really do do sumtin like dis during mine. Let's change dis 9ja mentality of " I must ware white" wen you are not even a virgin.

ooh! Is white gown meant for d virgins in nigeria I tot it use to show how wealthy u are... Smh

Gud news... Nothin is impossible

naijathings: download BLUESTACKS on your laptop if you want to have android apps running on your laptop. so you can ping, whatsapp, and other stuff from your laptop. very cool thing

Bad market for dat dude... Lmao

Prowizy2: I met a girl i didn't know she can't kiss, she used her strong teeth 2 hit my own.

So painful and annoying

beware!!! And moreso, stop goin afta teens

#teamkemi

[quote author=sкчscrαρεr™]Make she go sidon jor. Is she a "V" ?

Leaked sex-tape whether voluntary or involuntary is a norm in the entertainent industry. Apparently, The sex-tape gave her more popularity. and right now, we're even giving her more popularity.[/quote]in tatafo's voice *she said she is a V* who knws smh.....

i smell, this thread to be the opposite of https://www.nairaland.com/1561369/guyz-dont-ever-marry-girl


all the same... maybe i prefer testing

and these mod wont stop to amaze me....



yesterday, it was animals having party, now it animal praying... smh

Pastor Olu T: The first one is very touching

the dog and boy pics is much more touching

It an uncommon date yesterday 20-12-20-13 (2012/2013)... Nothin is impossible.

So wen last did u made it to fp

ebonysesy: na wao wat of dose of us dat dt hv grandparents anymore. should we remain unmarried?

lady try 4

syras: I hope he is not gonna break-up with her newly wedded lady. I wish him luck.

I hope he is not gonna break-up with his newly wedded lady. I wish him luck.

switdil: Hian
Ayama of the highest order

is sumbody learnin to speak korea

Lmao... D op must ave paid d mod... Who knows...
The same way some guys are rantin and pantin at vasline, i just hope vasline will not hit d highest purchasin good... Next year...

Naa so so sex topic dey hit fp... Cossy self wan open sex store