MrBrownJay1:


bro, have you never been to a restaurant, seen a delicious meal, ordered the meal and after one spoon decided that it is wasn't you?!
there is nothing wrong with changing your mind (in the middle of doing something) and as much as it does hurt, it doesn't make any difference.
the minute you understand the mind of a woman, the better chance you will have to understand them.

here is an important question for you: [color=#990000]would you still fukc a babe if her toto oozes like a dead animal?[/colour]

. Are you talking about an average Nigerian girl( age 16-26) who will struggle with you during her first sexual encounter, even though she wants to have it with you? Are you talking about our girls who say no and when you let go will turn around and calls you names like he is not man enough? I am not in any support of rape or sexual assault but taking advantage of some men's emotions is what I am against.

MrBrownJay1:
the minute you understand that no means no, then you are all good.... the way you feel, what you desire, how h0rny you are etc is irrelevant to the issue at hand. it's very easy for a woman to be h0rny and then she regains her composure and decides to stop the "do". no biggie.

as for the demons who falsely accuse men of rape, their own time will come!

. Your no shouldn't be when I am in cloud 9. Start by saying no when we are not in the mood. I hate confusion.

Double0h7:
What a confusing idea, are you implying that a woman shouldn't change her mind in the middle of an intimate encounter?

So, if you're kissing and making out and she doesn't want it to go further than that stage she should do what exactly?

This writer up reads as if you don't understand that a man is responsible for his erection and it is his job to control his body the same way a woman is responsible for hers.

If a woman says no to sex but yes to making out then only a rapist would push for sex instead of walking away without feeling slighted or wrong did.

. Every man has his breaking limit. Sex isn't just penetration, never start what you can't finish. If you don't find me worthy of having sex with you, never give me false hope.

In the aftermath of a sexual assault or rape, survivors can face extremely difficult and painful emotions and experiences. Every survivor responds to traumatic events in their own way. The effects of the trauma can be short-term or last long after the sexual assault or rape. Rape isn't a thing to wish for even an enemy. As a victim, the effect lives with you for life.
What I don't get is how some low lives(loose women) out there will choose to take advantage of men and our vulnerability and drag us into the milky water of RAPE. How will you be willing to come to my house, put me in a sexual mood, allow me to make some moves to a point of touching your sensitive part, and boom you are not in the mood, even when I tame the man in me, you still shout attempted rape?
My girl compare it with me happening to know a girl has std and I have to withdraw even though I was in the mood. This is one area I couldn't agree with her even though we agreed there is a gray area. Traumatic experiences faced by a rape victim is an enough for someone with a good conscience not to see the rape issues as a new normal. I will like to think it is in the best interest of any lady out there not to play down the issue of RAPE.
I know as a MAN, it is your word against mine. Anything you say about the rape-related issues, society is there to hang me. I was raised to take responsibility, and accept what society throws at me. My mum will always say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I know how many times ladies in the workplace, my cities, and even church will tempt me to fall into the milky water of sexual activities in an inappropriate
enviroment and time, I have to prevail using common sense because I am resolute to have a clean record as a man, not all men can be like me or men before me.
I have worked in an organization that takes rape cases as seriously as they can be, I have also in an official capacity worked with a rape victim. I will kill any animal who attempted rape if I were to take the laws into my hands. So it hurt when today's women, can cajole a man into a sexual mood and turn around to shout Rape. Do you have any idea what a RAPE VICTIM went or is currently going through? If you don't want to have sex with a man, be expressive, sound it loud and clear, and be loud to say NO. Never start what you can't finish. Think of me as someone who has a future, please don't ruin it.
For any Rape victim out there, be strong, overcome your defeat, be strong because better days are ahead of you. If you have been accused wrongly, please be strong, there is also a silver line at the end of the ribbon. Society, in particular women, should henceforth stop these new gimmicks NO MEAN NO. The no begin when you didn't come to my house, allow me to be touchy, putting me in a natural mood. Make up your mind, don't be the devil's advocate.

DoctorOlasDesk:



My dear. I received the direct report on the steel plant years ago. So I say what I'm saying with full confidence. You can place a bet 5 M we set a date to keep the money with someone if Britain can fix it even in three years

. You don't argue with someone who has limited knowledge. It's only the Russians that can fix that shit, only if they want to fix it. My only problem is fixing it is not profitable. Chinese bring in cheap Steel. Even if it is fixed, can it compete with Chinese Steel? The government will still have to help out at some point, so for me, it's pocket drained.

Ishilove:

Come clean to what end? As long as that past will not in the future threaten your partner's spiritual and physical well-being then let the past remain in the past. Make your peace with God, repent and let the past remain in the past.

. What if he/she find out from a third party. That's a breach of trust. Marriage and relationships occur as a result of trust. Though I am her first love before we got deeper into our relationship, I ask my girl to lay out every detail of her past and I do the same. We laugh about it and promise each other we won't remember what we discussed that day and our past will not crawl into the future. It is selfishness and a lack of taking responsibility, that will make one not come clean. Never build on a false foundation, it will never stand the test of time. I have witnessed marriage breakup of couples in their sixties simple because the man did something in his hoeing days and he hide it from his then-girlfriend now wife. The old lady refused to live with him again and move out.

Hope you are doing great, nairaland kids doesn't allow us enjoyed a healthy, interactive writeup from you and others girls. I miss the good old days

Ishilove:
This is why you should keep your past mistakes between you and your God because God is merciful; Man is not.

. Having reckless sex with multiple partners is not a mistake. Every choice we made has consequences. It is good to come clean, if the person you are dealing with can't handle a little thing like your sexual exploitation then he or she wasn't meant to be with you. It takes a matured mind to be in love.

pocohantas:
She should get her hands off the wall, please!!!

Eish! Nigerians always touching walls and placing their useless shoes there. All in the name of posing.

They will come to your house and start looking for mosquitoes to kill on your wall. Very anyhow people.

. I know a lot of people I have to refuse access to my sitting room because I don't want them to dent my walls. How will a grown man touch a white wall with bare hands? Some have families too. A lot needs to be done I swear.

Princewill1:
Lol I pity men here who know little or nothing about the 'GAME OF POWER' saying that a high IQ woman can also be submissive.

Intelligence is a form of power just like money. A highly intelligent woman is a powerful woman just like a wealthy woman.

Powerful people are not submissive to 'equal power' or 'lower power' but only to a 'greater power'.

If intelligence and submissiveness goes hand in hand, Are high IQ men also submissive to their wives?

Any high IQ woman being submissive to you on the dating phase is tricking you into marriage. It's in the marriage that her color will manifest.

Intelligent and submissive woman are rare.

. I will sleep with this.

It is only low self-esteem and average IQ man that wants a nonentity as a wife. There is this joy I have when I discuss contemporary issues, job-related issues, real-life experiences, even Politics with my babe and she is at par with me. Sometimes I use her ideal to walk around certain issues. Experience has taught me that a low IQ person (man/woman) isn't submissive at all, but they are timid.


Imagine having a wife like Poco( Poco without her fake feminism) or Isilove as a partner. Guy, you are covered any day any time.
They are too many idiots who are raising kids that are unfit in today's world. If you need a submissive woman, go get a female worker pay her good money and she will serve you. A wife is a partner, not a subordinate.

High IQ gives you a sense of command that alone humbles you. When you see a lady without class or character, please question her high IQ.

Mercychen:


You won't understand. Only women will understand what I mean.

. Why are they always wrong in my case? No other African suggest I have married only a Nigerian lady. Do Nigerian ladies have special mastery others don't?

Mercychen:


Lol.. not like he looks old facially. It's his body. He has that father of 4 kinds of body. Just picture a family man's body. That's how he looks.

. Do you mean he is fat? I come from a family of big bodies (fat) does that make them look like married men? I look fit but still, women assumed I am married with kids. Going to the restroom to make calls, maybe he was with someone. You need to have proof, not this assumption. I have a brother who has married with 3 kids but you won't know because he dresses like teen. Niga bed young girls like water.

Mercychen:


Well... He made me start suspecting him with his programmed way of Calling coupled with his looks

. I need to know about this look. Too old or what?

Mercychen:
Yeah. There's this nairalander I became friends with some time last year or after the lockdown. I can't really remember.

He's different. In fact, the reason I replied to his PM then was because after observing him for some time, I discovered he's very reserved. Writes intelligently and only visits mature sections. Religion section.

He was actually talking about a serious relationship. So we exchanged pics but what I saw discouraged me. He had the appearance of a Married man. You know that Married man looks. He called and we Spoke. He speaks so well and sounds great on the phone but I just kept wondering why he looked like that.


I told him to send a few more pics, he did but he still had that look.
While I was still caught in the whole confusion, something happened.

He's been the one calling. So one day I felt, let me do the calling today at least. I did but he didn't pick. He now called and said he'll call back later. I didn't think anything of it.
He called and we talked at length and all through he kept talking in the direction of marriage.

I called him another day, he didn't pick up but later called and told me he'll call at a particular time. That was when I began to connect the dots. Like why does he prefer to do the calling at a particular hour of the day? I began to zero my mind.

He later called and asked me what time of the day I'm free for calls as he wouldn't want to interrupt anything. I told him at night.

He called me at the agreed time and I picked but the thing is if I call, he never picks.
So one day, he called and I picked then he immediately said I should give him some secs that he needs to change location. He called back and was sounding like someone in a hole. . I asked why the background was so quiet, he said he was in the bathroom. . I let him finish what he was saying and blocked his Line and WhatsApp.

Now, i blocked him because I felt he was prolly married, that was why he never picks my calls and chooses a particular time to call me to the point of hiding in the bathroom. So I forgot all about him.

He called me with another line, I blocked it again and it ended there. I deactivated the moniker he knows.

Yesterday, he sent a mail to my old account and was trying to strike a convo and ask why he hasn't heard from me in a while.

He seemed like a good guy/man but that shady character is what I don't get. I have a feeling he's married.

Should I tell him straight up what I think? Or ignore him altogether.

I don't know what he wants this time.

I have been told a lot of times by ladies that I look like a married man. Some say the way I dress, how I treat ladies, and calminess. The first time, my fiancee introduce me to her mum, she ask if I have married before and how many kids, lol. I pause for some minutes and I told her I have no kid and never married. Only Nigerian women suggest I am a married man due to my corporate look. So please Nigerian ladies, how does a married man look? As for the issue of the call, I think you need to find out more. I have a particular time I don't pick calls only if there is an emergency and to avoid billing he may not like you to use your airtime.

Nikkganc08:
.


It's a medical condition.

Probably, u inherited it from someone in our family. Check ur uncles, aunty, grandma/grandpa, etc. You'd notice exactly what I said. Someone has it.

That forgetfulness is what causes d HIGH intelligence.

Read about albeit Einstein.
He spent 12months in d womb and has a brain disorder. In d end, he became super-intelligent.

Read about Stephen hawking too.
Crippled, speechless with brain disorder but super intelligent.

the same goes for some albinos.
Skin disorder but intelligent.


I once had a female friend with a similar case.
She kept on skipping classes at primary school cos of her intelligence and she always took d first position despite d classes she jumped.

Imagine taking someone from jss1, then putting her in Jss3 yet she takes d 1st position there.

Next term, instead of ss1, u take her to ss2 yet she still takes d 1st position there.

She graduated from secondary school at around 13 years (instead of d usual 16 - 18)
As of her year, 3 in the university d bank refused to open an account for her cos she was still below 18years.
She had to go to d bank with her mum before something was arranged for her.


Why am I saying all these?

She was smart.
We were close friends.
We had long midnight calls and discussed our goals together.
She preached to me about Jesus Christ.

One day, I called her on phone and guess what?

She can't remember who I am.
I explained and described all I could but she couldn't recall.
We met, yet no idea.

At some point, she was even thinking that I am a stranger that's trying to scam her.


It was her junior sis that told me to forget everything or start toasting her afresh.
That forgetting me is normal cos of her mental wahala and she has as well forgotten most of her close female friends.

. I was in js1 when I took junior waec, again in ss1 I try waec and got it at the first sitting. I never had a good second in my set though I was very poor in English. I never like reading but mathematics-related programs. I was self-centred never like to be with people but I am kind-hearted. I forgot things easily but not my academics. Sometimes people think I am very proud but I am not. Lately, I am beginning to see this as a problem. I mean who wants to marry a Yoruba woman and he is not sociable with all outdoor activities that they are known for. I feel like asking my fiancee if I am sick.

Emmerlee:
I know a couple of persons that are like that, especially women. Most of you only forget things that you do not hold dear, but things that are important to you are never forgotten, that's why you do not forget your books but forget your friends easily. If you ask me I'd say the problem is you only care about yourself. Kill the self-centeredness first

. Do you know if you are not important to me I may not even remember your name even when we stay in the same roof? It's that bad. I am a straight-A person ooo

Pareyz:
All my life, I have never seen or come across anyone who cooks better than my ex. Her culinary skills were excellent and out of this world. She'd prepare the best meal ever, even if you engage her off guard, and she's also very good when it comes to doing the do. She made me see utopia in bed. A real vibe.

However, her temperament is nothing to write home about. Physically and emotionally abusive and controlling. Talks back at me, and wasn't ready to learn, so I kicked her out without minding those skills I mentioned up there.

. The most important thing I enjoyed in my relationship is peace of mind and honesty. I plan to have paid staff to do all this stuff so my woman won't see it as a big deal. She have better things to do than be a domestic wife

Nonexisting:
Has nairaland's resident chief simp, sir James Jnr created a new username?

. I am a good cook so I can't fall for this. Try harder.

Distance relationships are entirely based on words. The relationship doesn't have a physical form. It doesn't manifest in dinner dates or group photographs or regular lovemaking unless you have to travel some mile which we always do. It exists only in the secret space you both share, and are exclusively aware of. The evidence of what you share is only in your hearts. Have faith in each other's judgments. Understand that trust is the only way your love can find existence.

Do not feel that relationships are a compromise if they exist only on a two-dimensional phone screen. Compromise is a demeaning word for persevering lovers. Think of it as a mild inconvenience; it could have been better but then, isn't it enough that we have another person who wants us back so bad, they are ready to share our distress? There will be heartbreaking, goodbye kisses at airports, and an hour of waiting for her call would feel like a million years, and on some lonely nights(We make sure we video call, every now and then, still I long for her touch), I would want to reach out to her body but instead will settle for a book(Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, by Harville Hendrix and others,), a pillow, or her old T-shirt(she has mine also), but does love only mean something when it's accessible? Does it only mean something if it's tangible? I am sure you know the answer.

Long-distance relationships are like Leicester City winning the premier league, Like Nigerian politicians when it comes to National cake. Remember you are on the same team. Work on the chemistry, cohesion, and play as a unit. What is in her interest must be in your interest(I always call my girl to read for her exams at night, it is like a duty to me). If she has a problem in her life, however insignificant it may seem to you, take it as seriously as she does. There is too much pressure in our lives already; she might be in a job she doesn't love, you might not be doing your best health-wise( She make sure I take my drugs), but never forget that you both are the same being. If her wounds hurt, try to feel the pain.

What makes her unhappy also risks your happiness. Never forget you are on the same side. Empathy is the backbone of love. It's going to be hard to imagine when you cannot see her, but when was empathy ever limited to line of sight?



Uncomfortable conversations increase your comfort zone. Since I do not have her always, I have social circles to keep me going. There are many men who slide into her DM, men who are willing to do the undoable to get her attention even at her workplace who would seem better than me in some conventional aspect(though I am unique in a way). There are also a lot of charming and compatible women I will come across.

But I always remember, I am not dating her because she is perfect. We are dating each other because we are perfect partners, and despite being ordinary make each other's life extraordinary by being together. Insecurities are natural but not healthy, and conversations are the only remedy. Talk about the good, bad and ugly. About differences regarding sex(we make effort to give each other the filled), finances(Nigerian ladies like money, it is their password), and other uncomfortable areas because best friendship is fundamental to good relationships.

Dispassionate, honest, and tough confrontations are needed if you want anything long-term( if you are a short fuss man, never date a Nigerian girl, they can nag for Africa) because life keeps changing, and love must cope with it. It's okay to appreciate other people, never make her jealous of it

When in need of advice, I talked to people I can rely upon. Sometimes a senior at work, few friends who have been through long-distance before. I take whatever I think will be beneficial and discard what I think doesn't make sense. It's not shameful to seek counseling for relationship problems from dependable folks(A decent relationship is harder than making money take that from me). There might always be times you do not know what to do. Learn to listen to your inner mind.



Life can even bring the strongest ones down and partners hold a huge power of influencing their partner's self-esteem and sense of dignity. Be kind to each other( I have never in my life met a girl who is so kind to her man like Drfunmi is to me). I also go out of my way to do things for her, I hold back nothing. She does not hold back constructive criticism but does not forget to pat my back occasionally( I had this problem in Calculus one time, she make me an offer, In her words If you make A, I buy you a clipper, the result came, my clipper delivered). We motivate, set an example, inspire each other to discover the best in ourselves. It's already too harsh that we do not get to see each other often, so we make sure we do not make it any more difficult for each other.



Your partner will have her bad days(Doctors always have bad days). Be ready to be supportive rather than adding to her troubles. She has to take your depression, you have to bear with her on the day she will have her menstruating pains. Failures, the death of beloved ones. The romance will not exist these days but hiccups are only imminent in life. Be strong, live through it, not everything has to be about you all the time( In her words, the world doesn't revolve around you, James). Excessive self-indulgence must go for love and mutual respect to stay.


She isn't your therapist. You aren't her babysitter. Even if she is the best girlfriend in the world, she is still only human. She will not be able to meet all your needs. She won't be able to fix your mental peace and you will not be able to take decisions on her behalf. Unrealistic expectations, in general, are hurtful and in long-distance, they seem magnanimous, incorrigible, invincible. Let's not let the distance win, let's make it as easy as possible for the other by relieving them of too many duties. Keep things simple. There is too many WAHALA IN Nigeria already.



Communication is foundational in long-distance relationships but you must know that your partner can only communicate something she herself understands to begin with. Let her explore her life, give her the freedom to know herself before assuming things in order to rationalize situations with uncertain answers. Try to communicate your stance as accurately as possible. Words mean everything here, so do not be careless with them. In my relationship, there are red lines. We know our boundaries.

Rectification rather than an apology. Do not repeat mistakes that hurt. Do not apologize without any motivation to amend. Taking a partner for granted is arrogant, silly, and myopic. When you are miles away and have completely separate lives, it's easy to forget the contribution of your significant other to your personal happiness. Give each other some feedback. Work on the feedback. It may sometimes seem as if I am not in control but If I am to be the head, I have to be able to lead by listening and paying attention.

Love is not charity. Don't stick only because you committed years ago. Don't stay only because you have to. Relationships are not life sentences, love is not a prison. Stay because you have reasons to stay. Long-distance feels effortless when it's justified.

Take interest in her interests. Pay attention to details. You are going to recreate her life in yours, to know that you both aren't two strangers connected by pity. It helps to borrow interests, and lend some. It doesn't hurt to look at the world from her eyes once in a while.


It will be hard. You will grind your teeth when your friends(who get to see their partners every day) complain about their petty arguments. It will hurt to see lovers filling the parks, the shopping malls with their laughter and hands-holding, making every day look white and read like today(Valentine's day). You will crave for human touch, you will sometimes forget the way she smells, you will wonder when will science and technology ever find a solution to longing(Like Our govt trying to care about us). But then, you will watch her get off the uber and walk towards you with eyes beaming with happiness and disbelief, just like the first time you had met. And you will lose all the memory of pain, again. When this happens, have the best of her. Make it count.

I know it is not a walk in the park, if I can do it you can also do it. Our relationship may not be a perfect one but we are happy. We are progressing. We are building. God willing we will grow old together.

I can write about my experience in the university or working environment in a few sentences but a long-distance relationship is not for fainted heart. If you must be in it make it count.

Happy Val to Niraland folks. One love.

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr


My niggarrrr
Am around any day anytime twice on Friday

. Hope you will attend my marriage with Drfunmi. She is your fan any day twice on Sunday.

Mekanus:
You go soon serve that time. Crime does not pay.

. He will not. We sin differently. Be positive in life. If you are a Saint cast the first stone.

OBALOLA55:
E BE LIKE SAY SLAWORMIIR DON DEY SERVE TIME THIS ONE WEY I NEVER SEE AM ONLINE SO

. I will personally make effort to see that he is released no matter what it takes. The guy dey gives me joy. There is nothing fake about him. I don't care about his business. We sin in different ways.

ukaface:
but Na to future husband Na...
The man is still in the future,how I wan send am?

I was hoping your bf could be the future hubby.

Choilila:

Nigerian men are cheap just have SAVISA they are willing to sell their freedom for it

. I guess you have been scammed using love for a visa? They are trying to survive nothing personal, move on don't be bittered.

MufasaLion:
How would you feel if I had you?
Trust me, you'd be mad too
But shawty, we can be mad cool
Just hit me if anything is past due
Your family told you I'm a bad move
Plus I'm already a black dude...

. Share with her and be kind to share her respond.

ukaface:
Dear future husband,
I no like wahala,I no like stress, I no like fight.
I'm big on love and loyalty. But I fit craze sometimes.No just f up.

*Drops pen*



What is my score?

Send it to your man, be kind to drop his respond.

Choilila:
Nigerian men are cheap

. This is a new low coming out from a lady. If you are served that breakfast, please take it in good faith and don't be bitter. Don't allow resentment to take a better part of you.

In the chill evening when I stand near my window, feeling the breeze and thinking about my woman, I know she is sound asleep or standing somewhere thinking about me. I feel I should drop a note or maybe a letter but words are rioting in my heart and brain.
So I have to ask, If you had to write a letter to your future girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband, what would you write?

DrFunmisticGlow:
it's C

That exclamation mark means 3x2x1=6
I have forgotten what they call it

Haven't done mathematics in 12 years. Sue me.

Sirjamesjnr dear, food is ready

. You rock it. The answer is 12.

DrFunmisticGlow:
love you sweetie

. You will always be my Queen. I adore you.

Biglittlelois:



SirJames, I'm thinking this is you, move on, it is part of life lessons, you will be fine.

. My girl and I are doing fine. The young man has to move on. Life is deep.