₦airaland Forum

freecocoa: Slimyem I'm missing you o, its official you and I are now age mates.

how old am i??

He does not
feel guilty or sorry for hurting his victim. He
may apologize for his behavior, but his
apology is designed so that he will not face
consequences or be held accountable. The
goal of the guilt stage is to reassure himself
that he will not be caught or face
consequences.

The abuser may act
as though nothing happened - everything is
normal. This can be crazy making for victims,
as they do not understand how he could
pretend nothing happened.

hmmmn..
....all too familiar...
I can relate to this perfectly well!!

anintia: They are the ones that used to enjoy the best camp locations in the past but now, dont even expect that

They still do enjoy that...
They are usually posted to choose between Lagos/Abuja or any other state of their choice.

Bullshito!!

Where is born2fuck's interview o?
I need to understand how a person's life can perpetually revolve around punny things like that...and i also need to understand why he doesn't make the "gbangauns" easier to process for poor readers..

[quote author=Missy_B]I can bet my left eye, Bittyend is the same person as Shymmex.
Not that it's important, but I want you to understand that you didn't succeed in fooling anyone. [/quote]isn't it so much work keeping up two appearances and defending it like that continually?

lwkmd...
Nollywood has a veeeeeeeeery long way to go!

So if "ganam style" wasn't released,he won't know what to sing...huh?
Wtf is Dammy krane anyways?
Mtcheeeeeeeeew..
Idiotic Nigerian musicians!!

Op should come clarify his story...
Is it his girlfriend or wife?

If Ijogz K is 25,then i am 17!!!

afam4eva: Due to the fact that telling your partner some of your dirty may end the relationship, some people will rather keep their mouth shut.

I feel that once you're married, you have to tell your spouse EVERYTHING.

Isn't that "deceit"?
How would you feel if you married someone and didn't get to know certain weighty truths until you sealed it?

afam4eva: I'm still waiting to see someone that i know on Nairaland.

i found someone i know already..
One boy wey dey sell puff puff on my street dey among the interviewed..
Im id na..........

There's little or nothing you can do..especially since they've been this way for so long..
..and like the poster above said,so long they don't get physical,let them handle it as they like it!
If they insist on separation,you can't stop it!!

List is on point!
I'm joining the list soon though...

This comment on a certain thread and my own questions of what is and what should not be births this thread..

she should say what she is needs to say and not
more than necessary. She is also not obliged
to say a word.

It was a response to how much one should tell a potential husband/wife.
We all have our pasts and have made series of mistakes but it sucks when they are used to judge us and a determinant of who gets to be in the future.
Although,i have my own opinions which is not leaving any part of one's past/hiding anything from a potential partner no matter how inconsequential it is....but i have also seen situations where one tells all and the guy/girl takes to his/her heels or its used against them in the most unpalatable ways.
.
I have a friend who had had about 3 abortions in school.She dated this guy and told him the truth to the letter.There was nothing he didn't call her and he went to lengths to slander her all over the place before he left.
Now,she's about getting married to some other guy and she has sworn not to tell him anything!
.
Another married friend with two kids now had a similar experience so she just didn't tell her husband anything about her previous abortion and they are happy together till date.
.
Now,this question goes to everyone married or not...
-How much do you think is too much to tell?
-When do you think its most appropriate to tell it all?
At the beginning of a relationship,before engagement or after engagement?
-What should or should not be left out?
To the married ones here,how much did you tell your spouse and when did you tell?

Silly and shameless women washing their dirty linen in public...
Mtcheeeeeeeeew..
Next please!!!

maran1983: It wasn't easy, I thank God for finally opening my eyes in the nick of time.
I feel so embarrassed when I think of all the things I went through; you see I was supposedly a smart chic, someone who knew what was up yet I fell for a lunatic and got subjected to verbal and mental torture for almost two years and to think we were planning on getting married, I'm shuddering @the thought.
One time he said we should stop being intimate cos it was against God's plan for us, I agreed. I was spending a weekend @his place and he didn't let me rest, kept bugging me for s*x. I refused, he grovelled, lamented, pleaded, all what not but I still said no. Later that evening he came to me, put his head on my lap and talked to me in a very kind and loving way, that as a man he had needs and because of the love he had for me he couldn't cheat on me etc so finally I accepted. You won't believe it, immediately we were done this guy turns around and calls me cheap! Why couldn't I say no and stick with it, he's sure that's how I've been going around having s*x with everybody.
I felt like a complete fool, even now remembering that incident I'm trying so hard not to burst into tears.
I honestly thank God I found the strength to leave.

Are you my alter??
Story sounds all very familiar..except for the verbal torture part.

alj harem: !!!! Bros you are not YORUBA You don't even know how to write Yoruba. Ilana what exactly because the translation does not follow what you wrote

lmao!
I think he meant to say "oro afojuya" and "oro afetiya".....

denzel2009: They have used otumorkpo on us.. we cant talk.

Dunno what the bolded means but please tell us your story if you have one....
We await...

[quote author=Efemena_xy]^^ whoa, Whoa, WHOA!!!

Easy with the ink na! You wan blind person?? [/quote]nor vex..
I'm only trying to help the abused brothers in the house...

coogar: came out of where alive? from the marriage? you mean women have not killed their husbands or what are you trying to say?

I don't mean that...
I know what kind of power the tongue wields as it is a woman's strongest weapon of abuse so Yes,some women have done so much harm to their partners with it but remaining in a relationship/marriage is a choice and if any man makes that choice and gets himself killed by not walking away,then whose fault is it?
......and the ones that got out,why are they not sharing their stories here like the topic asked?
Why are the men here feeling sidelined??

Since simple English comprehension seems to be the issue...
Lemme help..

freecocoa: But coogar o, how is the fact that jenny mentioned the names of women she know who were abused segregation?
Didn't you see [size=30pt]"and those that came out alive"[/size] in the caption as well?
Perhaps she should have mentioned the name of a man to make it balanced according to you, what if she knows no man who has been abused on this forum?

Men who think this is a pity party thread for women,can you see the bolded or should it be broken further down??

24 pages and counting,not one man has come out to tell us how he was abused and how he got out alive..
Is it that they are not bold enough to tell their stories or what?

If you had really wanted to know the meaning of those names out of curiousity,you could have gone to the Islam for muslims section and started a thread about it.... but this just seems like your real intention is to mock muslim names.
Not cool!

berem: all the same,that's not healthy for her.even if some died,as long as she gave birth to them,she is putting her life at risk.

No,its not!
...i'm not saying it is..
greatgod2012 assumed she has 14 children which the article didn't say...and made her comment based on that.
Just trying to point it out so subsequent posters don't assume the same.

Article didn't say she has 12 children...
12 consecutive births is all that's said...doesn't say how many of the birthed children survived except for these triplets.....

Publicity stunt it is...
Next please!!!

[quote author=Busy_body]Lemme break it down with this pretense role play.


HOST: Men/Women who abuses are monsters

GUEST X,Y,Z: For those who don't know us and our mission, we are. . .

GUEST X,Y,Z: This is what our prospective spouses/abusers did. . .

GUEST X,Y,Z: This was how we got out. . .

AUDIENCE A: Wow.

GUEST X,Y,Z: Yes o, thanks

AUDIENCE B: What brave people you are

GUEST X,Y,Z: Thank you, but na God o,

AUDIENCE C: Those abusers are animals you were lucky to get out alive

GUEST X,Y,Z: Hmmm, my eyes saw hell

AUDIENCE D: Thank God you survived

GUEST X,Y,Z: It was indeed a miracle, thank you

AUDIENCE E: You are an inspiration

GUEST X,Y,Z: We are sharing our stories to let women know. . .

AUDIENCE F: How do we know what to look out for to avoid falling into the same pitfall

GUEST X,Y,Z: fight mode activated No comment, go and open your own thread if you want to find out the answer to that. END OF DISCUSSION.




Is this a pity party thread? NO

Are Singles excluded from this thread? NO

What niggling questions are singles likely to ask if not this type of questions huh?


Oro pesi je. . .[/quote]Singles that asked straight questions had their questions answered as appropriate e.g freecocoa.
Guitarlife and Airpure weren't particularly asking questions like you inferred in your analysis.Their posts sounded more like a separate crusade judging and part-blaming the guests and inadvertently preaching the gospel of how to recognise potential abusers in the course of courtship for singles which is a deviation from the initial aim of this thread.

[quote author=*Ileke-IdI]Ibaluwe [/quote]huh?
Says who?