₦airaland Forum

uzomakanaki:
Fellow nairalanders, please I need advice from matured minds in this group.

I'm in a two year relationship with my woman, we're both working. I'm 34 while she's 27. My montly salary and commision is over 200k with other side hustle i do that bring in funds for me, i also just got a car i want to register with bolt/uber to still bring in funds in my free time.

My fiancee on the other hand is earning 75k monthly. I take good care of her needs and makes sure she doesn't lack anything I can afford.

We both plan to settle down by December.

Sometimes last month she missed her period, after the test we discovered she's 5 weeks pregnant.

I'm against abortion because of the dangers involved in the aftermath, i suggested she keep the baby while I come and see her family and do some necessary things before the main wedding. But she insisted in aborting the baby, reason being that she can't be pregnant and be working. Unless I place her on a monthly salary.

She has aborted the baby and had complications because of the quack nurse that performed the abortion. I spent a lot to make her back on her feet

I'm gradually losing interest in the relationship cos that single act of her. I've kept this to myself.

I just need advice on how to handle this. Cos I'm already fed up with her with her recent disrespect and the way she talks to me anyhow even in public.

Are you certain that the pregnancy was yours?

Cos from your story, her excuse for abortion no add up.

If you are certain you are responsible then the problem you have is her disrespect and selfish act.

YinkaOlusesi16:
As a United🔴 fan, I pray his saud brother buy Man united.

Ole!!!

Na the British man go buy united😂😂

YinkaOlusesi16:
As a United🔴 fan, I pray his saud brother buy Man united.

Ole!!!

Na the British nan go buy united😂😂

eddynaira125:
Eastern and Northern brothers

I salute

Did you read the story and you just rushed to comment.

No Igbo name was mentioned. This is to tell you that crime has no tribe. Don't label any tribe to a particular crime. Who is evil and bad is bad irrespective of tribe or state.

Nice2023:
Why do most govt employees end up retiring very poor and wretched.

What might have caused it?

Civil service encourages laziness and free money.

Hence they don't know how to create or sustain wealth.

So there is no backup plan after retirement.

nairavsdollars:
I hear this Akeredolu's son Babajide with head like overripe coconut is the one pulling the strings in the state

You sha must insult the guy.

Ihateheadslamer:
Bukoya Saka the name that can never be forgotten home and abroad

Tah!

When the name no be Jesus or Mohammed.

Make he retire. He go shock you. The name go vanish from your mind and media.

lhordspy:
I remember during the election period she was running her mouth: 'Lagos government is not working, we will chase them out, We are in bondage'.
Now Lagos is ready to work. The change is starting from you. It is either you pay your tax or go to jail. Where do you think government get money to do all these things you demanded for? To build roads, electricity, hospitals. Through money ritual or plucked from tree? Pay your tax iyabo. Your lamentation sob-stories cannot save you. Fvcking defaulter.

The entity was asking the Lagos State Government if they had ever offered her any assistance with her business and that she that single-handedly raised her kids blah blah blah. Is this Iyabo or a body-double? The same Iyab0 Ojo who antagonised Sanwo Olu's bid for a second term in exchange for social media validations. The 'I am Yoruba, but I don't think in Yoruba" gang.

This werrey was alleged to have declared a 40m naira return as income. This same faker declared she bought a dress of N37.5m for AMVCA award, and even threatened to sue a guy that recreated the dress at cheaper price. But crying over tax of N18m.

Please, Iyabo dont pay. You already brought the issue to social media instead of appealing or beg for mercy secretly. The same social media peeps you have always been trying to please will be the one to buy bread for you to eat your prison beans. Please dont pay within 7days. Nonsense ! Omo ale oshi

For her to have a tax of 7 million. Do you know much much she earned that year?

It's outrageous to think she earned that much based on her lifestyle.
There is either miscalculation or witchhunting

slowice:
So many insensitive comment in this thread

Like I don't understand the mindset here

donbachi:
Mgbawu man.
Any man wey dey beat him wife.ogun go kill am.
If your wife dey also beat you.ogun go still kill you.

Why Ogun go kill person way e wife dey beat?

You no believe say some women your age or younger can beat you?

successmatters:
What a shameless drug addict. The man will end in shame.

Amen and louder

frozen70:
Waooo, I wish you to experience that so that you will confirm your statements

I don't think people resume a new job with the mindset to get fired. They don't create scenarios of things they will do or happen then they get fired before they resume the new job.
as you think, so you are. You can't be thinking divorce before marriage and expecting not to get divorce.

When they prepare their mind for divorce and stuff, even if their partner isn't wired to make mistake, they unconsciously react in ways that makes their partners react in ways that will lead to divorce in the end.
Eg: if a guy believes all ladies are not loyal. He will not treat his wife with respect cos he is preparing for her to mess up. This action can push her to the arms of someone else and when it happens, he will see a reason to justify himself.
Forgetting that he created the opportunity for such event to happen with his mindset and actions.

If you want to get married. Both partners should Remove divorce from the table. Come with the growth mindset and sincere intentions to make the relationship work & grow.

But not the exit plan people bring into marriage and hope it last.

frozen70:
No one enters into marriage to get a divorce

But situations and circumstances always lead to such

Children from divorced homes are not happy about it and will do everything possible to avoid being in that situation especially for the children

What caused divorce in home is the same thing another home managed to get through

So it's about individuals and their attitudes

People enter marriage with the plan to get married. They create scenarios and prepare their mind to divorce.

So yes. People enter marriage with intention to divorce.

Jennyclay:
If I can’t go through my man phone, then he shouldn’t go through my phone.

I must know his password to his phone and ATM card.

I agree. It's a just to know his password and vice versa

CuriousCart:
I have noticed that most Nigerians are adults by age only and not thought. 80% of adults lack a clue about their next move and direction.

They usually copy what other successful people around them are doing on the surface.

If a colleague buys a car, they start getting worked up until they also buy a car. If a neighbour opens a shop for his wife they rush to open a shop too. If their friend is into tech, they abandon their budding career and start taking tech courses upandan.

I think the copiers do this because they believe mimicking will make them reach the same goals as the person but they fail to realize that life doesn't work that way because there are many unseen events and efforts that may have led to the copyee's success.

The colleague who bought a car may have been gifted by a sugar daddy or recently lost a parent and inherited the car while you are planning to use your entire savings plus loan.
The neighbour opening a shop may have had 15 years experience in that biz line while you just want to dive into it blindly.
The tech guy may just have the brains for it while you are more likely to succeed at sales.


Finally, when they are done copying and don't achieve the same successful result as the copyee, the next thing is to accuse him/her of using juju and using people's destiny to succeed.

Just do you.

Very true.

Nigerian adults are very trendy. They follow what in the news or gossip brings.

Reason why the japa syndrome is trending a lot.

lhordspy:
Russia is throwing a subtle message at US and NATO. The message is straight and plain.
"You want war, we give you war' ...

Since NATO is trying to encircle Russia, I think it is also wise for Russia to start arming its allies with Nuclear weapons also. The repercussion of this move is that Russia is starting to position its weapon at strategic places too, so that when the nukes start going off, countries like Poland, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania which borders Russia; NATO countries who are neighbours of Russia, which the US is using as frontal to wade war against Russia, will be the first to collect.

It is even refreshing and surprising to see Un!ted State, during its reaction to the deployment, referencing the Cuban missile crisis as a period unworthy of repetition. Even using it to preach to Russia. The same Cuban missile crisis started by US after it threatened to nuke Cuba just because of Russia's military base in the Cuba-country near US. Yet US want Russia to accept same thing in Ukraine.

War strategy is a like chess game. Give it to Putin. He is a master of the game.

Moves shows weakness. Russia hasn't used it's air force and navy to capacity I this war and nuclear weapon? Na Belarus go suffer am.

Las las Putin just wants to force Ukraine and its allies to negotiation table.

Believe me, no one want to use nuclear weapon.cos they will smoke you also with it.

No one as monopoly of nuclear weapon.

BlackAdams007:
But it isn't the best still🙄 do you want me to clear your doubt? 😏

Well, depends on the criteria you are using. Like it's(iphone) camera isn't the best but there are other things it ranks top.

BlackAdams007:
This is cool, it's specifications are almost like the Tecno Spark 10c, no lagging as well with 8gb ram and 128gb rom😊
Some persons might see it as rubbish cause it isn't iPhone, but truth be told we use iPhone because of its prestige and not because it's the best, i myself don't like the so called over hyped iPhone ✌️✌️
This is really cool!

Iphone has resale value, iphone has better security than other devices, iphone is more robust with it's hardware and lastly from me, it's a lifestyle product and has its own ecosystem that people are plugged into.

FYI... This comment isn't cos I use iphone but from observation

Kobojunkie:
Those statistics apply as far as children who in fact live and grow up in the same house with their father figure, and not those who are in the custody of their fathers but shipped off to be raised by a relative of his.

2. OP plans to ship the kids off to his mother or sister to be raised by them while he probably moves with his life. It is a form of abandonment if you ask me.

You are right.
If OP plans to ship them, then that's not cool. From his comment, he is thinking more about himself and not the children.

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you naira landers,

I know some of you will criticize me here for always bringing my marital issues here.

Well i believe we got lots of married responsible people here that might have gone through what i am facing through and may have one or two advice for me on how to navigate through my issues.

Some of you are unaware of my stories, i will urge you to read through my stories under my profile name and have better understanding about how it unfolded.

Now i am still struggling emotionally base on the problem am having with my wife, the disloyal, cheating and dishonesty from her ever since she got the job and get an accommodation in the barrack.

She has been a complete different person entirely and still surprise how she turned to be who she is now. well i have decided to divorce her and sent her away because she had caused me enough pains emotionally which am yet to heal from, my peace of mind and mental health is at stake and dont want to run mad because of a woman. I dont think i deserve that. .

My advice to single men and women planning to settle down soon should be very careful with the person they want to marry and know the person very well cos people do change alot when circumstances struck.

That man or woman you are so in love with now might turn out to be a beast when you later end up getting married. Marriage is a very difficult journey.

Now i and my wife are separated living apart but my two daughters are still leaving with me and with the help of my aged mom and sister, they are taking care of them and doing well.

Now am kinda confuse whether i should let the kids go stay with their mother or they should stay with me. Though she is not dragging custody with me but I realize the kids staying with me for now gives me that emotional strength and doesn't make me feel lonely, but if i take them to their mom, i might start missing them and loneliness and depression may strike being that i will be living alone.

I just want to get advice from divorced or separated men or women and even married and single here how they handle the custody part of their kids when their marriage ended, is it easy as a man to raise two girls age 5 and 6yrs and what are the issues relating to these.

As i said, i have a mom and aunt that can look after them very well and all i have to do is provide for them all they will be needing physically and financially, but i just what to be sure if am taking the right decision and wont regret taking their full custody.

pls anyone with useful advice should drop here cos am in a dilemma right now and want to get solution to my issues.

Pls sorry for the typo errors, am writing this with emotions scattered.

Statistics says that children with father figure in their lives turn out better than those without father figure in their lives.

Conclusion, children who live with their fathers alone are less likely to be troubled than those who live with their mothers alone..

Also, focus on your children wellbeing and not just yourself

djslimprick:
Bastard child.......

He said the truth.

They were already stats showing the surge and UK government already had this in mind before.

Mokole2023:
Hmmmm thats worrisome! My wife's pretty, fair n endowed. Why is there no signal from my brain for arousal?

Ask your wife to send you nude pictures of her. With underwear and naked.

Then try to admire it and imagine everything. Hopefully that helps you find her sexually attractive.

iukpe:
Ashi and Yahoo yahoo

Labels and stereotypes.

Orubebe01:
Wahala wa ooh

Igbo drug
Yoruba skull mining
Hausa terrorism

Bini nko?

Nice

iammo:
Tobi Bakare killed his role in his last action flick

Leave tobi oh.

Baba is doing well, improving as an actor every new role.

madridguy:
It is too much freedom.

Well, to me I still blame the men in such position, I no go sell my property, borrow money for us to travel you come reach foreign land make you come say you no do again. E no possible. We must talk am very well before we comot for Naija.

Not freedom.

Many marriage survive in Nigeria because the men earn more. But when you the financial superiority of men is broken. Most marriages cracks are exposed and many woman are loyal to men because of financial dependency and the only value many men can add is money so once they can't do that. The women see them from the trash they are.

festacman:
Saint Obi was having a flourishing acting career until his desire to marry a financially strong woman led him to marry one stone-hearted woman who was senior executive in telecom industry and who happens to come from a wealthy family. At the end of the day, money Saint Obi no see. Rather, having fathered some children, Saint Obi was thrown out of his home and his children taken far away from him. Consequently, Saint Obi's fight against this woman and her strong family took a toll on him and the rest is history.

I don't know why his friends are speaking in parables instead of saying things as they are to honour his memory.

Lesson: Sometimes, money is not everything.

May his soul rest in peace, Amen.

Are you sure about the story of his marriage

tomitrace:
War destroys cities:
Every Nigeria City or aspiring city should learn something from the Collapse of Warri as Oil City👇👇👇

Warri was a big industrial hub in the 70's - 90's.

Warri Refinery, NNPC, DSC, Delta Glass, Shell, Chevron, Schlumberger, Dunlop, Agip, Saipem, Halliburton were in full operation back then. Escravos & Forcados were at their peak.

The city thrived. The city was full of zeal and zestful activities. People living outside hardcore Warri called themselves Wafarians because of propinquity to Warri even though they were not Wafarians. To be a Wafarian was to belong to supposedly a unique lifestyle.

Multinational/Local Banks were present Citibank, FBN, ACB, Savannah Bank.

Business activities thrived. Warri port was a beehive of economic activities

Entertainment/Night life was at its peak, Musicians, Live bands at Palmgroove Hotel, Comedians held their sway: Fela, legendary Don Baker, Majek Fashek, Emma Grey, Oritz Wiliki, Rex Lawson were a few of many of the entertainers that made Warri ebullient. Lido, Zina, etc were comparable to their ilks anywhere.

The town was full of life and it thrived.

McDermot road was busy with Maritime activities and contractors. Kingsway Mall offered anything sold in Lagos at that time.

Joma & Mosheshe were big fish distributors across the Niger Delta.

Rubber produced locally, was used to produce plastics and tyres.

The town grew in size and became a conurbation with people coming from all over the country to settle down in Warri for economic activities.

The Airports were super busy, Escravos, Forcados & Warri Airport. The Warri Airport was even relocated to Osubi for expansion.

Warri was revelling in its glory. Warri Port was fully operational and served as an economic booster for the city. It served businesses in Warri, Benin, Asaba & Onitsha. The Port created huge employment opportunities for locals and the state.

Things started to go downhill from the late 90's. The community leaders and youth chairmen began to fight themselves over control/sharing formula for royalties that came from oil & businesses from settlers.

Itsekiri, Urhobo & Ijaw leaders & youths started fighting each other. The bloody fight started around 1999 and lasted for years till 2003/2004.

The community leaders started imposing local taxes called "Deve" on all companies, industries and local businesses, buildings & projects.

Little by little, the companies frustrated, started leaving.

This continued throughout the early 2000's till 2010. The companies kept on leaving, one after the other. The companies layed off their employees. Unemployment rose.

More companies left for PH, Lagos, Akwa Ibom. They layed off more staff. Unemployment increased still.

Today all that is left in Warri, is a shadow of its glorious past.

95% of all the big companies in Warri had either left or closed down.

Most of the young people have left Warri.

The ones left are driving Keke, doing P.O.S, Spa or Boutique, Beer parlour or doing hookup.

There's peace now, but the damage the greedy community leaders did to Warri, still lingers on and is almost irredeemable at this point.

Do not assume that your city can not be destroyed if it toes the same route Warri followed. Warri leaders did not ever believe that Warri will be this economically empty today while they were fighting then. Learn from Warri and protect our economies

Have you asked why big eeconomies like US, China,etc will never allow war in their countries?

We must learn and avoid things that will trigger war in our country no matter how strong we believe we are. Businesses and investors go where there is peace than where there is war.

Follow us on This Is Nigeria

Nice write up.

You forgot to add the role Gov. UDUAGHAN played when he was antagonisings Shell and claiming delta beyond oil. This actions caused shell to close operations in delta state and so many oil servicing supporting their operations in delta.

Also, the rise of thugs as policy makers in these communities and yahoo as a source of income.

CSTRR:
That is the American dream

How any one can rise from nothing to something.

Nigeria will still use quota to recruit inside military

Is it bad?

They want to be comfortable

God1000:
Congrats to him, we are proud of him.

He deserves the next AFCON player of the year.

Napoli fans will never forget him for putting a smile on their faces after 33 years.

Meanwhlie our players are doing fantastically well in their clubs but they always perform abysmally when it comes to playing for Nigeria

Can somebody tell me why we don't have a formidable senior national team in Nigeria, is it that they are not motivated enough?

No incentive, nff politics, more management and coaching staff