₦airaland Forum

IRIEBOY:
do you mean the remaining big games ? Cause arsenal won man u, Liverpool,Chelsea, won Tottenham home and awah

Forumobserver12:
So beating one big team simply means beating Man City only? Arsenal have defeated Spurs, Liverpool,Man U and Chelsea this season already, so what exactly do you by that phrase?

Shadysen:
keep crying

helinues:
Arsenal might draw with Liverpool but Newcastle go collect.

Chelsea self stand no chance but the city game, If arsenal can draw it, then they are good to go

booksbo0k:
Sorry for the long write up my people, I need advice.

My first son has been behaving somehow in our family, as if he's not part of this family...
You and this boy can be in the same house but you might not set your eyes on him once for a whole day. He will be inside his room through out...

He has been telling me that he is currently working on going to rent his own place and live on his own and that if God helps him and he is able to achieve that, He will not have anything to do with our family again and that we will never set eyes on him ever again :[ ...

I would have not been bothered by such statement if it were coming from someone else, I would take it as a bluff. But this my son is someone that normally doesn't call people to check on them, not even us his parents..

When he was in his previous University before he dropped out, this boy can go for months, that is a whole semester stretch without calling anybody to know how you're doing, except you call him or maybe he wants to ask for money for something or school stuff....

We have five children and he is the first, the second and third children are away in University, he and the two last siblings are the only one's with us.. My husband refused him from going to University in a far place instead he gives him transport money to be going to his own University from home everyday...... He and his father don't even talk again except good morning greetings. He is only 21 ohh..

Let me give you guys small back story so that you can understand how all these things started.

My son graduated from secondary school (a boarding school) in 2017 at 16 years old... Initially, he said he wanted to study computer science as he said that was the course he loved and wanted to study. But my husband refused and persuaded him to study pharmacy because he worked at NAFDAC and he saw the way pharmacy graduates were living at his work place and the salary they were recieving. He and one of his chemist friend sweet talked him into going to study the course and I guess it was because he was young then and could not challenge his dad then that was why he gave in....

He wrote JAMB but he did not meet the cut of mark for pharmacy (but I later realised his score was good for computer science then)... No public University was willing to admit him for pharmacy then because his score was not good for the course but due to my husband love for the course and not wanting my son to lose admission that year , he decided to go the way of private University not minding their school fees...Long story cut short, my son got admitted into Madonna University where we were paying 1M naira every year.....After 3 years in the school and in 300L @18 years old, he began saying he was not interested in the school any longer, that he was tired of the course, that he's body is no longer in the school and blablabla that he wants to go and play football in Europe...

He came back for holiday during the beginning of covid and refused to go back to the school when they resumed, saying that he was only wasting our money by being in that school and he did not want to continue.....This got my husband really sad and angry....My son stayed home for almost two years doing nothing because my husband was adamant that if he would not go back to school, nothing for him, that all the money he has spent for school fees in that school can not be for waste that he can become a footballer after he graduates, saying no one can become a successful footballer without being a graduate, that it would later affect them in life...

But my son refused. I must confess, my son is extremely good at playing football. That was the talent i can confidently say that God personally gave to him from birth. Infact when he was graduating from secondary school, they gave him the award for the best graduating footballer and he was always the centre of attention anytime he plays at our church events. He friends used to call him "nima" then, I think...

I and my husband got tired of him staying at home for long so I went to meet with one pastor in our street who was based in the UK with his family but comes home sometimes for church related matters. I explained my son's situation to him and he offered to help my son travel out to chase his football career provided we have the funds for it. The man was secondary school class mates with "victor ikpe ekong" who was a former super eagles player but currently a pastor in Sweden. To my greatest surprise he called him on a WhatsApp video call in my presence and i was really surprised...He gave me the man's phone number to keep in contact and also scheduled a day to meet with my husband and have a discussion.. I told my son and he was very happy..I also told my husband and he was eager to meet with him at least, anything to solve my sons idleness at the time..

The pastor came to my our house on several occasions and discussed with my husband. My husband kept telling the pastor, saying he would like my son to be going to school while chasing his football career at the same time, a feat which pastor let us know would be difficult as one has to be dropped for the other. Unfortunately, my husband changed he's mind and said he was no longer interested in the whole footballer thing. He said he knew that my son wanted to become a footballer only because of girls. That he, my son knew that if he becomes a footballer, all the girls would like him, that that was the only reason he wanted to become a footballer, and that if football was his true destiny, he doesn't need to travel out for it to manifest, that he can be in Nigeria and make it from here.....That was how that chapter close like that. Pastor left for England few months after.....

After years of my son staying at home, my husband got tired. One night, he hired some Street thugs to come take my son away and beat him up...my son stayed with them for 2 weeks. When he returned, he said he was ready to go back to school. But my husband told him he won't be going back to any private University again. My son wrote jamb again to study computer science and was admitted into COOU. but my said he would not allow him go to any University that is not in the same state we are residing. Now the problem here was that all the public schools in the state we are staying will not accept you to study computer science unless you did chemistry in jamb. And my son did not do chemistry in jamb because he is not good in chemistry. If he was to study in the same state we were staying, he had to settle for another course, which he did...Now another problem arose. My husband refused to rent an apartment for my son around the school because the school is considerably far from our house, instead he decided to be giving him money (2000) everyday as transport fare to be going from home. This did not sit down well with my the boy and he again, said he was no longer interested in schooling again sef that he can't be going such far distance from home to the school everyday to study a Course he does not even like siting that it would be stressful and affect his academics and that it was unwise to be paying 60k a year as school fees while you spend 2k everyday as transport..My husband got angry and called on our estate CSO to come pick him up. They beat him so badly in public that when he got back home later in the evening, I went to check him in his room, his buttocks and back where scarred and red with huge marks...

Ever since, he has been going to the school from home and he has become very distant from us especially his dad. They don't talk again in the same house except "good morning sir"...

My son has turned into something else. He can stay indoors from morning till night. I would have said he has started keeping bad company but he does not even have a single friend, not one..Nobody calls him, and he doesn't call anybody...I have five children and he is the first. The second and third already gained admission this year in a private University and are in school currently, so he and he's last two siblings are the only one's with us now..

Why I'm writing this is because I'm scared..I'm beginning to fear that my son might commit suicide, he's beginning to show that kind of attitude.. And the plans he have to leave us forever to go and stay alone, I don't like it ohhhh...

Nairalanders please I need your advice.

MostImportant:
I have noticed that some Nigerians have a way of putting all the blames on politicians as the ones destroying the country when they themselves are equally contributing.

A fellow job seeker turned back and do evil to me for the good intention I had for him. I was only trying to be a human which of course I always try to be no matter how tight it is with me. Not as though I have but I would share the little i have when I see someone so in need.

I met this guy in an interview venue and we got talking based on job search experiences, how we got to hear about the very one we were at, about the company, tips we can use to perform better in the interview and all that.

I think we were more than 40 in that place and interview was based on first come, you pick a number based on your arrival time and wait to be called in.

So the guy went in first before me, and came out to meet me waiting. On coming out, I tried to ask him to hint me based on some questions asked inside. The interview was scheduled for 10am but it started way late, around to 12pm. So not long after which he came out, he started complaining of hunger. I told him I am hungry too, and truly nothing entered my mouth that morning, so I was seriously hungry too. From hunger, he brought in the issue of how he managed to get to the venue due to lack of transport fare. He then asked me if I can assist with any amount to pay his way back. To be very open with him, I removed the last N500 that was with me and showed him. I told him I am the same. We are all struggling as we don't have a job yet. In fact, why I have N500 in my pocket is because I woke up early enough to prepare which I partly trekked to the place just to save some expenses. Just because I saw frustration in him and the humanity in me won't let me be, I wanted to give him N150 from the money while I keep N350 for myself. From our conversation, my distance was even farer than his.

So I wanted to go out with him to go look for change but just then, it was my turn to go in for the interview. Already the money was in his hand, so he said I should go in for my interview while he goes out to look for change and come back. I thought I was dealing with a human being, not knowing I was making a mistake. Leaving him with the money was the mistake I made. I'm only human after all, and I have learnt my lesson but it won't stop me from being good.

To cut the story short, that guy ran away with my only N500. That was all that was with me in and out. I mean home and abroad, all with me was the N500. Account balance looks like a radio frequency - 87.9. Laughable. So nothing was reachable any where else but even after telling him, he still decided to pay me back with evil.

To think he is a job seeker and he still behave that way, I won't curse him even though he succeeded in making me trek for more than 2 hours, going home with an empty stomach.

May he reap whatever he sows. I'm sure he won't come back to the place even if he's called up for the job, which I doubt though. And I pray I am shortlisted for the job, to bring joy to me.

Although a sad one for me but I pity his life.

Sixfeetbelle:
You just reminded me why I never respond to monikers like yours.

It just oozes ill-mannered youngling.

Sixfeetbelle:
- what makes you happy? :Money
- where do you see yourself in 5 yrs? :Married to a rich man with money.
- what kind of man are you looking for? : A rich man with money.

Any more questions?

Fira09:
I think it's your own browser, mine isn't so.

Junni0r:
Its like seun children don dey operate thier father phone

@Seun, ur children know ur password?

IamV:
It looks so ugly, amateurish and cringe worthy.

ayesco202:
Yes, I am.

pansophist:
This is a shit test. Don't fall for it. Since she didn't consider you worthy to tell about her sickness, then you should not feel responsible about asking her about it. If you disregard and bail her out of her shortcomings, she will not step up, while you continue to keep bailing her out.

You have to hold her responsible. This is a typical example of men being the enforcer. She doesn't create the rules in a relationship, but integrates into it. Just as she adopt your surname during marriage and move into your house, you set the rules, not otherwise. Its not cruelty that you didn't ask about her sickness. If she wants your input, she should have called you, a man she is dating for three years. it is just common sense.

Also, the most important thing to know is that every of your actions, especially in a situation like this creates a precedent, meaning that she would calculate and judge your future response base on your past actions. So if you call her because she has malaria, then will know in the future that she can mess up, and she will be absorbed of her guilt if she say she is sick, and you'll be the one running over forgetting her misdeeds.

Be vigilant.

moneyshop:
From people's experiences, most marriages do pass through this stage. After first child, there's always this rejection by the woman in MANY marriages.

I don't want you to see this little challenge as if you're passing through hell... No!

It's a phase that will soon pass. Whatever you do or plan doing, don't cheat on her. That will cause the main problem that you think you have now, and then it'll rain brim stones and fire. Be patient.

Don't follow the advice of any unmarried little kid that will come here to shout "SIMP," overlook them, they'll understand when it gets to their turn.

Keep treating your wife well, don't take the car away from her, don't punish her in any way, so long as it's only sex that is the issue, it'll soon pass.

Try and control your sexual urge, whatever you do at this trying time, will decide how peaceful your home will be. Be cool and handle everything in a matured way, she'll change by herself.

Hear me again bro, this too shall pass. It only needs patience.

Dizzyyish:
They can't, but they know men love them. They also know men want reciprocal love so they echo and mimick men's declaration of love and signs of affection.

"Men are romantics pretending to be realists, and women are realists pretending to be romantics." - Rollo Tomassi (paraphrased)

Martinez39s:
Good thing you have sense and you see things as they are instead of getting carried away. They are many things women do that appear nice, supportive, virtuous and good, but there are selfish intentions underlying these deeds. This is why, in addition to find nice guys as a turnoff, they are always suspicious of them.

Dizzyyish:
A woman's success (manipulation) with a man is strictly dependent on his ignorance. A man well-equiped with knowledge on her or her nature will always be on guard. This, obviously, hinders her inherent method of interacting with him.
Pretty basic stuff.. but here's the chaotic aspect of it:

Women hate logical men because these men are likely to see through their ploys (this might even pique their vindictive tendencies). Women hate weak (foolish) men who they can easily manipulate and exploit. So in essence, they dislike men they can't manipulate and dislike men they can manipulate (though, the latter is met with a large dose of disrespect).
This is one of the main reasons they are often referred to as the "confused gender" because, as a certain individual phrased it, women want fried ice.

Their hunt for fried ice is one of the many ways they instill chaos into the lives of the men (romantically) involved with them.

Killbillz:
U are just a fool for being the woman in ur marriage. U are not a leader nor a man to deserve any better than the manipulating wife u got. So u don't have a mental picture of how ur he should be run and u take garbage advise from bigger fools? U left ur aging mother in the care of others? Oh u even know that interacting with the grandkids is good for aged parents and yet u denied ur mother that which is her right and ur responsibility to her just like u were her responsibility in her womb to ensure she did what's right for u to come out good? U immature fools rush into marriage without understanding anything about life other than breathing air, eating,procreation and making little change. U know nothing and yet u say ur a husband. I can't blame ur wife completely. She saw she married a worm and decided who wears the pants in the house. Now God has turned things around to show u ur foolishness for not being in charge of ur woman u still run come NL dey find advise. To slap u faint dey hungry me. Ur mother just suffered for nothing and ur wife husband is going to enforce her will on u as usual. Like someone said up there ur MIL is nit the problem but if I were u I would make her daughter feel what u felt when.... God forbid I can never be as weak and foolish as u. Carry ur stupid cross bastard!

Ferdinandu:
You are just a Sisi. The time you would have stood your ground, you didn't, now you want to stand your ground on revenge, no. No old parent should be abandoned to die lonely, this is our African tradition. You allow your wife to have her way instead of you to call her bluff and give her ultimatum in the marriage. Don't allow the remaining old woman to suffer because you are the cause of the first incident

ozalogbo:
As I read some of your comments, I smiled. Let me provide some information about my mum: she was a born again Christian, a genuine one. She belonged to those holiness preaching denomination. She was a peaceful person. When I stamped my feet and said no! she would be the one to say no, my son.
She would be the one to say, 'What God has joined together, let no one put asunder'. And she would quietly take her leave, against my stand. That was a big problem. She would say, instead of there to be trouble in your home because of me, I better leave. She was TOO peaceful

anthonyuncle:
it's funny how people change forgetting the basics.

your family should remember that if the 1st guy didn't give your sister the start up capital, she might not have met this current guy.