₦airaland Forum

She said she was forced to have sex with him. Then she added 'rape trauma' to it. There are no alternative interpretion to tha because when someone forces you to have sex with them, it is rape. You did not want it. He knows that you did not want it. He did not cajole her to have sex with him, he coerced her to have sex with him.

She is disgruntled about how he treated her. She may not have totally wanted the sex but she went with it. That is not force, it is not his fault. It was her fault. She made the decision to have sex with him even though admittedly he was a jerk. Her bitterness led her to use the word 'force'. She was not forced. That babe need to work on her will.


This is not the first time I have seen women blame men for their own lack of strong will and ability to make goof and quick decisions. Some of them need to learn what rape is. Rape is non consensual sex. It doesn't have to be a fight matter, it could be threat or use of tool. It is not when you are doubtful about a guy's intention but you still proceed to have sex with him which you regret later and then blame him for having a sweet mouth or for being deliciously persistent at that moment.

You are unsure whether he is going to be a jerk after sex, don't have sex with him. If he is an jerk before sex, your decision. Either way, learn to move on and better still, abstain till marriage.

pocohantas:
But the girl didn't accuse him of rape from the chats I am reading.

She didn't want it to get to rape, so she obliged.
That's not a rape accusation to me.

She is pained they had sex. So, she doesn't want it to look like it was all her choice. Some girls do that, still bad though.

Pathetic woman!

The man should report her to the police and sue her for all she is worth!

Traitor!

I can't remember seeing her in a movie

It is finished. I give up!

Love the dress!

This is what happens when they say go to school and you say no

Less than a year in school, her eyes have already opened. Good for her!

See you need to understand that morality is not the same thing as legality.

nigeriancritic1:
My dear, who is more culpable? How do they expect him to fend for his family while witholding is salary? You think judges have no emotions?
In fact, he should put human rights organizations in alert.

Yes sir!

owomida1:
You are already wired to fear your employer. Good luck getting used everywhere you go.

So you admitted to stealing their money? Perfect!

Fortunately for you, what happened to you is called LUCK. Not everyone would be as lucky as you were. You need not advise people to take the same steps that may guarantee them a jail term at most or sleepovers in jail at the very least.

nigeriancritic1:
Now this is the best advice. it happened to me In 2008. Make a full written honest account as per the debt you owed them. from the final balance deduct your salaries and entitlements. write the balance, sign and submit it to the company and keep a copy. Let them know the document is copied by writing CC. copy your guarantors and submit copies to them. start looking for job.
they will think twice before taking any step against you.

I have never ever been to a courtroom. Who knew our courts and legal system were established on sentiments and morality?

I hear you.

owomida1:
You still don't get it. It will never get to that extent of being cuffed or jailed. He never held anything while his salary was intact. This is a clear consequence of the company's actions. It is clearly stated on his employment letter what date and how much his salary would be paid. They breached that contract first(unless you disagree that an employment letter is a binding contract between the employer & employee), which led to his actions. There are so many defences he could put up. Psychological excuses come first. OP could have a dying relative that needs financial care.
The list goes on and on. I am sure you have never witnessed a court proceeding by the way you respond to this issue.

First rule for narcissistic psychopaths and sociopaths.

izzou:


First rule of life: Nobody owes you anything

Your Aunt is actually wicked but I expect you to look at where you are now, and smile over the past, but instead, you decided to keep hurting yourself by lamenting and to worsen the issue, you had to even post it on social media.

If I was your fiancee, I would cancel our engagement just because of this singular reason. I can't afford to love someone who prefers to take personal and sensitive issues to the world

But your aunt wicked sha

True.

Transferred aggression

pocohantas:
That's true, I know it is about intimidating a weaker person.
But sometimes, these women and very unhappy creatures.

Okay.

iHart:
he can hurt the company terribly bad if you expose everything on social media!!!

A crime that is not written down in any Act of the Legislative arm of government cannot be a crime.
My knowledge so far is that withholding salary or failure to pay salary is not a crime, until you can show otherwise. The company has committed no crime. I will be glad if you do, my knowlwdge is fairly limited.

Unfortunately, his situation is unfair and morally unjust but it is what it is. You will not be there for him when they handcuff him. You will not offer to stand for him in jail while he is awaiting his arraignment and bail hearing. He does not have the financial capability of his company. This is Nigeria. His company can hurt him more than he can hurt them and there won't be a single consequence.

owomida1:
You made marginal sense. Not every crime is listed under the constitution. What about moral rights? His expenses which clearly needs to cater for but is being deprived? I swear nothing will happen to the OP. As long as all the money obtained is documented and well detailed, the company should strike a deal with him. If u owe me 2 months salary, I will lift items from the office directly. Let them accuse me of theft. What happened to employee rights in this country self? how would u say it's not a crime. If they want who will work without pay, let them employ their family members.

Ayo25

It is in your best interest to brief a Labour Lawyer.

The following is a not a legal advice, it is a mere opinion.


I believe your firm cannot arrest your guarantors. They have committed no crime. A lawyer will be in a better position to tell them that NOT you. Get a lawyer to write to your company. However, they could arrest you for stealing which is a crime. So if I were you, I will actually speak to a lawyer in his office and inform my guarantors of my predicament, relinquish the company assets I have with me and come to whatever arrangement which may be best for me.

I don't think withholding your salary is a crime in Nigeria. I understand it was unfair of them not to pay you as agreed and your decision not to remit their money seemed like the best option at the time. However, you did not handle the situation well according to what I have just read. You have also managed to burn your bridges, it would be hard to use them for future job search. You should have resigned rather than held on their money.

I will not advise you to sue either. They may retaliate by reporting you for theft, I dont think you want a criminal charge. Besides, litigation can take forever and unless you earn a lot, it is advisable you just let it go.


Like I said, speak to a Lawyer. Don't make your situation worse by continuing to take matters into your own hands.

It is not about the wives' happiness


People find it easy to intimidate those they consider inferior or at their mercy.

pocohantas:
That's because the wives are not happy either.
So, they look for who to transfer their aggression on. If there is love in a family, even the mosquitoes in the house will feel it.

What does this have to the with the black race? Your black brain sha.

TroubleMaker47:
Blacks and wickedness sha!
Noah shoulda neva allowed dat his fuçking black son on the ark

Unfortunately, she resembles the witch.

icamello


The NGO cannot do anything without the support of your mum I doubt if your mum will press charge's. It is not a viable option. Writing to the police will not solve anything either. You don't need to stress yourself.

You need to accept that your mum is not going to listen. I qn sure she hs always dreamt of a day he woul come back crawlibg yo her and asking for forgiveness. Don't bother warning her away from him. However, you could threaten to abandon her if she reconciles with him again. You should not stop advising her even though you know that she will not listen, let her know that she should not allow anybody to use as a back-up plan. For those peace makers, find a way to let them know that you disapprove of their mission.

You need to let go of all the anger against your dad. He doesn't deserve it. You can do without him in your life. Also, how about getting a man for your mother if she is still interested? That might keep her from wasting her time with your dad.

k

Daboomb:
I am sure and it is rather unfortunate that you are saddled with 'sickly-boys' who need you to make sure they are fine.
On the other hand, its most likely you were spawned by one of those useless, drunklen absent fathers who never stay home nor contribute to your psychological and mental paucity.
That is your lot in life so bear your cross gleefully.


Real, matured men like us can take good care of themselves and the children they bring forth, with a supportive and faithful wife in tow.

......and by the way, with your level of extremely low I.Q, you dont qualify to argue with me 'cos l dont do arguements with simpletons.

I distrust people who normalise cheating.

pocohantas:
LOL. Very funny

See ehn when you find yourself in a situation like that of a Titanic and they announce women and children first, say : 'No, I am a woman.I am as strong as a man. Let the children go. I and the men will battle this out' No one will fight you for it. However, call me stupid or lame, women are physically weaker.

And if you see a man that feels entitled because he opened a door for a woman, make sure it makes the news.

CSTR1003:
Wisdom?

You called the nonsense you wrote, wisdom?

Women are weaker than men because they can't push a bus?

You are stupid, madam.

Toyin Lawani is advertising market, these ones are talking .

It is normal for men to cheat is the same thing as I am available to date and marry married men and I pursue married men.

Awon Satan in the flesh!

k

CSTR1003:
Wisdom?

You called the nonsense you wrote, wisdom?

Women are weaker than men because they can't push a bus?

You are stupid, madam.

Who knew formal education means wisdom?

You and your madam will be fine.

CSTR1003:
OK.

Brilliant submission from a professor of female physiology in the university of?


Remind us all again why chimamanda is way above her head and you are not.

Are you a homely man?

[quote author=LaudableXX post=68603310][/quote]

Women are physically weak. It is a fact. It is natural. It is our weakness. Men also have theirs. It is nothing to be ashamed about

This woman is way above her head.

Who spent more time making sure you are fine at all times? Your mum or your dad?

This is not an argument because I can't remember any one searching for a homely man. Can you keep me out your issues? I don't have time for unreasonable argument biko.

Daboomb:
In other words, "men DONT take care of the family", right?
Only women do!

When it suits women, you claim women are working because they need to be equal to men.
When it does not, you claim they are minimizing their ambition to take care of the family!

What will women not 'cook up', just to gain an advantage?

But a "supportive and failthful" wife deserves everything her husband can shower on her.

I thought a woman is meant to minimise her ambition to take care of the family...is she not again? You can't eat your cake and have it. She deserves something for spending the time she could have used to develop herself to take care of the family. And if you do not like it, are you willing to share family chores with her, take time off for your kids, attend their social events and take paternity leave? Those responsibilities affect ambitions. It is selfish to expect her to maintain the home and make money at the same time. She doesn't need to maintain the same lifestyle she had while married but she surely deserves a slice of the cake. For housewives, they deserve more than a slice.


If there is one thing I know about life, it is time. Wait for it and let's see if the reforms won't happen. I pray we will live long to witness it.

Elder001:
I'm still surprised that the Nigerian lawmakers we all know will pass such bills.. seems like they don't know the implications.

95% of nass is made up of men.. still don't understand how these bills got passed.

Especially northern lawmakers... if they could pass this bill in 2004 why didn't the same NASS pass the 2014bill which would've allowed females to inherit properties in Nigeria?.

between the two which is more dangerous?

sounds funny... The same Nass that voted enmass 80% to flush out the bill that would've allowed females to inherit parents properties in Nigeria because of religious and tribal nonsense.


Nass of this century knows what's up..


Those reforms you're waiting for ..you must be dreaming.

Other than child support women shouldn't benefit any other thing from divorce... unless they contributed in acquiring a particular property then that one can be shared.

Nobody is barring you guys from making money and acquiring your own properties during the duration of marriage.


LOL, YOU HATE ME SO MUCH THAT YOU WANT ME TO DEVELOP HBP?

free your heart from the hate you have for me and you'll realize I'm a good person.

Don't worry, you will be fine.Before then, don't develop HBP on top women matters.

Elder001:
reforms for what?

I'm not surprised..