₦airaland Forum

Joy1706:
I tell u. By God's grace, I'll never raise men like this.

I mean it's not as if these male terrorists have amounted to being world powers with their excesses
Instead they have created a backward and depressing society for their women and children.
When it comes to woman, dem get power

gokuu:
[b]I can't even believe we are still discussing this in the 21st century. [/b]He should even be grateful that you woke early to make something in the first place. The thing is, while I am a 21st century liberal, most Nigerian men are extreme conservatives with obnoxious ideas of a woman's role. I think some women also encourage such behavior. You need to stand up for your dignity, If he is truly hungry he will eat.
As for those saying it is grounds for "eating outside," a man that will cheat will cheat.
xoxo.

most women encourage the behavior.
most nigerian male cannot love until the woman is in her most vulnerable, subservient state, stripped of dignity and honor.
Demonic love

Moana:
you failed to answer the question. how long does she take to do that? what does she do to her hair before sleeping?
FYI i will not stop putting in hair extensions because it takes me 3mins to straighten the hair before lectures and all i have to do before bed is tie it up in a bun and go to sleep. i have fine hair that breaks like no man's business in winter. i will not move around with hair that i know is hard to maintain because someone somewhere thinks its degrading and shameful to put on extensions.
Maybe your wife has the time and energy some of us don't have to spend hours on her hair before going out of the house all in the bid of pleasing her husband. I content with my extensions that take lesser time to maintain. If it gives you sleepless nights oh well thats your problem and i will not lose an eye because of it.
While you are still forming undiluted African kindly ask your wife to stop shaving and using tampons on her periods, because this was influenced by white people. Black people never shaved. Thank you

Lol, I laughed out loud when he said just use 'shampoo and coconut oil'.
Natural hair is time consuming. let us not deceive ourselves. I know, because I have natural hair since 2008. From time to time I wear a wig, weave, braids because I like them all. I like the fact I can change my looks. Afro, wigs, weaves, braids, bring them on. Whenever I'm on my Afro, know that that week or month I don't have to wake up in the morning and dash out to work.
Hair day for naturalistas is more like hair weekend, lol.

Ngokafor:
....You are just stressing yourself for nothing my sis.

.The idioots are everywhere in this country divorcing over the most stvpid reasons so i guess another divorce is in the horizon over 'serve or not to serve food..clowns raised to infinity

This kind of entitlement is beyond my reasoning.
What kind of men are we unleashing into society?
What do these evil people take women (an adult human being) for?

There is something wrong if you cannot use your own hand to dish food for yourself on a table that is already set by your wife. You did not cook the food o, your wife cooked it...

Patriarchy keeps on killing itself with its excesses

Thank God though, lol

[b][/b]

sinizia:
OP, I'm a man and in this 21st century I'm telling you that, that man you described up there is an arrogant prick!! A controlling heartless dùmbfuck who treats you like a slave!!
What nonsense!! If you are not busy and he says you'd dish it out for him, that's okay; but if you are busy and tending to other issue and he insist you dish out for him before he eats, then he's a callous and wicked dùmbfuck!! I pity you. You are in a master-slave relationship!! This is 21st century not 18th century. Dish what?!! What will it cost him to scoop food from a plate? WTF?!! I pity some ladies for real. All my life as a teenager till now, my mom serves my dad (if we are not around to take the food to him and when we're too small to carry the foods to him) but never spoon-fed or dished it out for him and my dad never complained. Is he handless? NO!! So why will he complain that my mom didn't dish out the food to him? What kind of lazy, arrogant, proud pricks do we have these days as men?
And the ladies are the cause of all these. Imagine what the ladies in the FB pics attached are spewing. No iota of self-worth whatsoever!! Imagine one saying "lady if he wants you to spoon-feed him do it o before another lady do it for you." OMG!! Illiteracy and low self-esteem is an incurable disease!! These are the kind of women that would leave their cheating husbands to attack another lady for "snatching" their pussy-mongering husbands. SMH for dumb bytches!!

Wicked and arrogant was the word I was looking for...very demonic traits. An antithesis of Christianity these demons would say they adhere to.
It is not until people fly on a broom in the night before they are witches and wizards.
Witches and wizards are living among you and I in the name of tradition.

Condoning glaring character flaws. Another BASTARDIZATION OF PATRIARCHY.

Who are the mothers that keep on raising bastard sons like this?

I am capable of killing my son for demanding such from his wife. Them never born am well...

What a selfish, devilish and demonic idi.ot.

The character flaw here is beyond sickening.

vague:
His x-ray
And you have silly boys on nairaland with 4inches making noise that they can make you scream

Lol.

Onegai:
I used to feel the same way when I was younger: that women gossip more and are worse friends because I'm very tomboyish. If I had told my male friends half of what I did, I would still be hearing about it from random guys I've never met. And it would be magnified by 10x to the point I wouldn't even recognise myself. My female classmates used to not be sure of what they heard about me and were more willing to give me a chance, the male classmates were smiling at my face and calling me a LovePeddler and a vicious person behind my back (none of them even got close to me to date) even when they knew the stories weren't true, it was more entertaining to them to repeat it and hope in my "whorishness" they'd somehow luckily fall into my pants (I disappointed them )

Never trust a man with your secrets. My mum told me that every secret ever told to my dad, he came and relayed it to her. And that is common behaviour for a man (which is why their mistresses outside always have effrontery to insult their wives, the men give them so much damaging info. Heck, the Philistine sent Delilah and not another man to Samson ) a man nacking a woman is very chatty you know

I've never been happy about my female friends who were divorced (I've never even asked one why she is, if she wants to share, no p, if not, I have the tact not to ask). I'm happy for those doing better than me (it's natural to feel a bit envious but the overwhelming emotion towards them is positivity). The male friends I have are just like the female friends I have.

Women don't hate each other that much (well in Naija una hate yourselves for speaking a different language, looking fair or darkskinned, living in Lekki or Mushin, eating eba instead of semo, practising a different kind of Christianity, in fact what is there that you don't hate; D ) but this society magnifies it where everyone keeps saying that and we all believe it but what is the reality? I fought more with my male boss than my female boss (he annoyed me constantly) but it wasn't his gender that annoyed me, it was his personality.

I would have made such comments as a kid as well because you hear other people say it, so you grow up mouthing such.
But as you grow older, you realize it's all freaking bull.

Trust me, most guys are genuinely not looking for your best interests or your friendship. Those who are, will never try and break up any friendship

Absolutely.

Lol this thread...

After all said and done, I hope there are no black women still on some 'black loyalty' high.
Girl you better wake up and smell the coffee...
According to many, many black men, getting a white woman elevates their status in the eyes of their peers.
let's be real abeg.
The indomitable white man was able to give prestige to his woman.
White men are great, jor o.

freecocoa:
You never see anything, afterall he didn't succeed so why vex? How dare you compare that to a friend telling others that you didn't even have money for food last week, that she had to bail you out and suddenly, you are forming big girl for her?

Definitely, the latter carries more weight.

Lol, I just find it weird how these types of females can excuse men from even the exact or worse things meted on them.
Men are even worse in divulging a woman's sexual secrets among their peers and make sure their boys don't fall 'prey' to a woman who did a 'natural' thing of sleeping with them.

bukatyne:
And men do not have these qualities?

What made you think you are the 'perfect' female friend?

Does it occur to you that there are some of your female 'friends' also saying Quivah is not a good female friend?

Have you ever asked any of these women feedback about yourself?

See now, your reading partners thinks you are a good 'friend' while you see them as reading partners.

My sis had this friend. So she came around the house and was narrating her experience with a guy my sister randomly introduced her to.
So this friend went to the guy's house, and she said the guy tried to rap.e her, and that she managed to escape.
Fast forward the next week, who did I see laughing and joking around with the accused rap.ist? My sister's friend.

This same friend got into a petty fight with another girl, next thing she started shouting 'this is why I don't keep female friends bla bla bla'. Till date she is not talking to the girl.

A rape incidence vs petty squabble with a girlfriend, which one carries more weight?

Please go and read a book or two romance novels and understand what women classify as 'bad boys'.
The movie 50 shades of gray (if you can't read) is close minus the protagonist's sexual psychological dysfunctions.

There are two types of bad boys
James bond panache vs Lil Wayne swag

God knows I'll definitely go for James Bond panache between those two types.
Lil Wayne Hiphop swag is nothing short of crude. Mostly women endeared to hiphop would want to have anything to do with such nonsense.

The classic male in romance books are millionaires/billionaires, handsome, confident and very direct.

Most men can never achieve these four feats at a time, Lmao.

Sorry guys! Most do not qualify as alpha males. Tehehehe

KanwuliaJara:


Igbo party?
Hausa?

Yoruba!!!!! YORRRRRRRUBAAAAAAANZA!!!!! Chai!!!!

I dance sotaaaaaaaaay, I niallllly vomit ALL my food!
The DJ was WICCCCCCKED!!!!!
Michael Jasssssson "Don't Stop" begin play inside the FUJI mix, COME SEE CONFUSION!
Everybarrrrrry comot shoe o! We begin take AGBADA and GELE dey "backslide and moonwalk".
Including "yours truly"!

Lol. I can imagine. I go to parties for nice food and dance, dance danceeeeeeeeeeeeee!
My sister went to one Yoruba wedding like. She said she did not know when she danced till the wee hours of the morning, lol.
My other younger sisters are the worst. They can dance ehn.
It's me that is always like 'let's go home o' I'm always the party pooper.

KanwuliaJara:
No more party o!
Back to work o.
Abeg, hope na next year o?
These Yoruba people nor go keeeee pesin I swia!!!!
It will take me 3 months to recover from last weekend.
I dance FUJI, my legs nearly dislocate from my hips!

Lol. Yoruba parties are the best. The ones in my corner of America, no dey represent as much as I want though.
Igbo party? *rolls eyes* I go there praying fervently they don't put crayfish in the jollof rice . Who does that? If it were left to me I will ban Igbo people from cooking Jollof rice and fried rice. They should stick to their oha or abacha. If you are unfortunate enough to be invited to or gatecrash their Igbo meeting party, they can ask that you pay for the food you eat. Yeye people.
Never been to an Hausa party, but my mind tells me it's going to be a snooze fest.

A self confessed depraved social and moral deviant is wondering why she can't maintain friendships with females...

Rotflmao!

Nothing wrong in women rising up to be breadwinners. The men to these women MUST also must rise up to do what house wives do, take care of the home, cook, clean, kids etc. Society should not look down on female breadwinners nor househusbands.

The bride-price has no relevance today.
Scrap it, or African women should pay a groom price too. Viva equality!

jaybee3:
What's your take on the equality mindset with regards to marriages?

People always think that equality means that if the wife cooks today, husband must cook tomorrow.
Naa, I'm of the school of thought that equality in marriage would depend on each others capabilities.
Now if a woman has taken the chore of cooking, the man should take up another homely chore especially in homes where both are providers. Now the endpoint of this position is that, one person should not take on more responsibilities than the other. You are both there to complement each other.

Now the problem comes whereby due to this separation of roles, we begin to consider certain tasks as taboo to gender. For example, a man considering it taboo to go into the kitchen to cook the family a meal or due to the head start men have economically and being traditionally strategically placed to provide, a woman begins to feel it is an abomination to provide for her family. This should not be so.

Also, I think to veer away from the equality argument is to infer an inequality. Do we want that?

pickabeau1:
So how do u know the best spamzoan

The sperm capable of fertilizing an egg. We can decide this in vitro.

LordReed:
FTFY

Lol
I have an idea...we can do this in vitro, rather than in vivo...

I will donate an egg
You boys donate your spermatozoa, mix it up
Culture it in the lab...voila ...

May the best sper.m win...lol

The thread is so ewwwwww. This looks like a fun thread.

TV01

I don't think the premise is totally flawed. Why?

Se.x is for procreation, and our mating choices is evolutionary dependent on who is more likely to bear offspring.

The endpoint of the female mating selection is to determine the male who is more viable to reproduce.

Primitively, the metrics to determine this endpoint is through the outward appearance of the male, his physical strength, etc. Likewise in the male psyche, a generous amount of hips translates in his mind that the female is fertile and able to reproduce.

However, today we know that is not automatically the case. Big hips do not necessarily translate to fertility, neither does physical strength. Today we do not rely on mere physical attributes to determine who is fertile and who isn't. Science and technology have made it possible for us to go to the cellular level to determine who is more fertile. So since we are inherently programmed to procreate, the battle has now been reduced to the spermatozoan level. May the best man win.

FrancisTony:
Same people that would say men are polygamous in nature would be forming sanctimonious when open polyamory is mentioned.

Do you know why? Women benefit from open polyamory without slut-shaming and an average African man believes women are beneath him i.e they musn't be sluts without shame.

Lmao! Patriarchy and its one sided morality code of conduct...this is why I say patriarchy uses its own hand to kill itself day by day.
According to our resident patriarchs...
Polygamy...err, emm
Polyamory.... "oh the horror"
Thank God man is not God.

milychocs:
I have refused to grow
I still have them

Lol. Enjoy.

*Sniff, sniff

Yes they do. That was my favorite pastime as a teen. I miss those days.

A comment on the site from a self confessed cuckold, lol.

The most troubling thing about the essay to me are the implications – never quite stated – that open marriages are inherently feminist or that embracing non-monogamy is a sine-qua-non of feminism. These implications may or may not be intended by the author, but they are clear. Also they are complete rubbish.
My wife has had sex with other men since before we were even married. I am not ashamed or defensive about this – I celebrate it. We have constructed a loving marriage that maximally provides for our wants and needs, of which cuckolding is only a part. But these arrangements are not reflections of our feminism, they are a reflection of our fetishes. We had monogamous relationships in the past and were feminists. Most of our friends are feminists, and most are (so far as we know) monogamous. Also, because of our own non-monogamy we have met friends and acquaintances who are not monogamous. Many of them are also feminists, but not all. We have not even seen correlation, let alone causation.

They have both chosen a polyamorous union over a monogamous one...why the need for all the grammar?
Polyamory has existed long before feminism. Feminism is not the antecedent of polyamory.

1 Corinthians 11 is talking about headship not headscarf, read it well.

tearoses:
Madam please if you value your life please do the needful.

IF someone can beat you whilst you are pregnant till you go into premature labour, he can double beat you now that you are not pregnant till you die, God forbid.

You know what to do, This is the UK. The fear of a criminal record alone should stop him in his tracks.

I know that deep inside of you, you want to keep your home and family together, but you can only do that if you are alive and from a safe distance.

Take your auntys offer of accomodation and a safe place and move there ASAP.
It will either do one of 2 things; either he comes to his senses or he doesnt.
Cross either bridge when you get there, but for the meantime dont be a victim or another statistic.
If he comes back to his senses, then lay down the rules
if he doesnt come back to his senses, then good riddance

I dont know what the church is teaching these days. Christian brother indeed.

My pastor's daughter is a friend, so she gets to meet all these 'brothers in the Lord' from everywhere, then she gives me gists afterwards.
Some of these men make comments like 'domestic violence is one of those things that should happen in marriage.'
These are sunday school instructors, choir directors, tehehe. The devil is real.
The ex-boyfriend who is also a pastor's son kept her captive in his house over a misunderstanding. She wanted to leave, he said no way. She said she couldn't tell anyone because she was the one that used her own leg to go to his house.
I have asked where does she meet these kind of mad people? Christian fellowship and network, lmao.
I pity girls who date on the basis of 'he is a good christian' so they think everything is set from there. Yes it's good to be a christian, but girl you had better test that spirit. There are more wolves in sheep clothing in churches with satanic definitions of submission.

legatto:
Thousands of generation has passed nd will continue to pass, or do u mean you will still be on earth in year 4001, its not happening no sentiment

I don't really understand your statement. However thousands of years also passed before the first coming of Jesus Christ too, since its revelation in Genesis.

so, you too, when you see all these things, recognize that He is near, right at the door. Truly I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things take place.

It is the generation that see those events, not the disciples generation.

It's how the men were brought up...to see house chores as an anathema to their existence.
Train your sons differently, so that the next generation of females can enjoy.
I don't know how anyone would be comfortable seeing their spouse taking on so much responsibilities and be okay with it. That person is a witch.

Another overgrown, overfed tata in the house.
So woman go put this kind thing for head, call am head of house? Chineke God of Nazareth!

Odidire:
Since the discussion is gradually moving towards tribal rivalry, I ve edited the story.
The story is 100% true. No a single fact has been altered. I have recounted it as narrated to me.
Thanks for your contributions

The way you arrive at conclusions is funny.
You reduced your problems to feminism and tribe. Is this how you handle issues in your home as the 'head'?
No wonder your wife can use your head, she wants you to do chores, but won't foot any bills? lmao.
Your wife doesn't foot any bills which is an antithesis of feminism, but oh dear, that word must be fancy let me join the bandwagon and use it.
Awon your money is our money, but my money is my money are not feminists. So just keep feminism out of this talk. Thank you.