₦airaland Forum

KanwuliaJara:
No dear!
With other races, WE STOP SHOUTING!
Period!
Black men are NATURAL BORN KILLERS period!

The black man is the most aggressive of all races. It only makes sense for his woman to evolve to match his aggressiveness. This is evolution...survival of the fittest instincts.
I mean the black male stereotype is aggressive, violent and criminally inclined. These men would have killed us if we didn't match them in aggression. I mean this is the comment of Ya Asantewa, an Ashanti queen who led the resistence to British colonial rule in Ghana. She succeeded in the short run, but the Ashanti were heavily outgunned -"If you the men of Ashanti will not go forward, then we will. We the women will. I shall call upon you my fellow women. We will fight the white men. We will fight until the last of us falls in the battlefield."

We are not scared of anybody! We will not run from a fight. When you come for us, we come for you!
Fela is righttttt! We do not waltz, or two step, we dance the fireeee dance!
The African woman is not a symbol of some fragile femininity that some western culture has twisted us into, but one of regal indomitable strength. And I will not apologize for it. The African man is not a gentleman either! He is also a ticking time bomb, that is why he accounts for the highest interracial divorce! Buhahaha!

African women were not silenced in our original cultures. When the women were vexed, the men were in trouble.
Our forefathers could handle that . Today's defeated black man cannot handle that . That is why he's always whining like an ode...ewww

EfemenaXY:
Do these really exist in Naija? Are they available?

I have no idea. But I would think that communication/journalism courses at Nigerian universities should have a class or two on public speaking.

joywendy:
mmmm.....how does one practice when there is no audience to train with? what if there is no money to enroll or one close by, What can this person do?

An audience is really not needed to practice your speech. One of the problems of stage fright is not only the audience but the lack of adequate preparation for the speech. Rehearse your speech over and over again, and it will become natural to you. Your family members can be your audience if you really need one.

Chillisauce:
If your hubby is not changing the diaper, not even once. Get a screw driver and pierce his yansh.

He is not loving at all at all

Lolllll.

bukatyne:
How sure are we that Aba doesn't mean Aba market He might even be married here in Nigeria and just wanted a fling.

Such a handsome little boy.

I hope his father comes forward to do the right thing.

Lol.

Did she marry a man with no last name or what? Why just ABA?

cococandy:
You can't compare faceless people on NL to someone who lives with you.
Saying one can let it not affect them is easier said than done.
Especially if you love the person in question.

Of course verbal abuse never justifies physical violence. Ever.
But I don't agree with you that he should block his ears to it. He's human. There's no easy way to just ignore and swallow verbal abuse.

I Agree it's not enough yet to take his kids and bolt. Of course not.
But the solution can't be from him alone. They need to work together to get there.

It's almost like what you said too but I just felt like I had to say something about the part of 'nagging doesn't kill'

True. We all have our limits. You know who your husband/wife is. You don't do things to escalate the situation even in tight situations.
I will kick a badly behaved, drama-inducing man or woman out of my house without wasting time.
I don't do well with drama at all.
My home is where I find peace, the moment I cannot get that - out you go!
When your senses come back, I'll let you in.

snakebeat:
It hasn't gotten to this, the issue can still be resolved amicably without involving any agency.

op tell ur mum to inform his kinsmen, they will be able to instill a sense of responsibility into him. She should also tell her people, why is she hiding it? It's better to inform relatives before taking the issue to any agency.

The father is well into his 50s. A 50 year old man is well entrenched/established in his habits. He would only give up if he falls sick, break his hands or legs or waist.

All these can be avoided when we begin to train boys differently.
Let's not feign ignorance here, cooking, cleaning etc are reserved for girls during their developmental stage. And the boys carry hefty stuff, wash cars etc.
Most mothers consider it taboo for their sons to get into the kitchen.
I was at a Nigerian party recently and a man wanted to dish food himself on a buffet style setting o, one of the women said 'nooo, don't dish it, I'll do it for you, men are not supposed to dish food themselves.'
When we instigate these ideals into these men, how then do we expect something different when these boys become husbands?


It's only in Naija parties I see that buffet still requires wife to go and hustle for food for the husband to eat. Rotflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately for you, the respect your wife has for you is tied to how much money you have or you can never have.
That is what you get for marrying chicken heads.
Verbal abuse is parts and parcel of domestic violence. Domestic violence can take a number of forms including physical, emotional, verbal, economic and sexual abuse.

Also in a Patriarchal system, men provide. Most women turn into wild cantankerous beasts like the men you highlighted in your illustration when their men don't fulfill their own end of the bargain of providing. So I think the whole arrangement works for you non-feminists sha.

Sir, you are a 'feminist' for thinking like this.

On a serious note, you cannot eat your cake and have it.
Patriarchy has defined the roles - i.e. the woman takes care of the house chores, cooking, baby matters.
Why get angry at a man who knows his right in a patriarchal system?
I'm sorry but it is his right to demand such from his woman.

Feminism curbs the guttural excesses of patriarchy as evident in your illustrations, but since you are not a feminist, I don't know why you are complaining.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0_ylg0z35s

You have to kill the Tutsis, they're cockroaches.'
'All those who are listening, rise so we can fight for our Rwanda. Fight with the weapons you have at your disposal: those who have arrows, with arrows, those who have spears, with spears. We must all fight.'
'We must all fight the Tutsis. We must finish with them, exterminate them, sweep them from the whole country. There must be no refuge for them.'
'They must be exterminated. There is no other way.'


These were the kind of quotes attributed to George Rutaganda of the Interahamwe Militia, during the genocide against the Tutsi in Rwanda by the Hutu. The onslaught of his campaign on Radio Télévision Libre des Mille Collines spearheaded and encouraged the genocide of over half a million people in approximately 100 days; killings mostly perpetrated with machetes and clubs by ordinary civilians who were friends, neighbours, and relatives.

It is said that the sporadic way the genocide was carried out was made possible by Rutaganda’s fiery hate dripping words on radio. Words can be encouraging and inspiring. Words can arouse pleasure. They also can be loathing and savagely fierce to carry out agendas from a hate bridled mind. And it is very easy to gain followership of such hate causes in Africa because there is a considerable population of the mentally underdeveloped that seeks out leaders who champion ideologies on the primitive fundamentals of ethnic bigotry.

This is Africa’s reality! And our leaders realize this!

Nigeria is no stranger to genocide. The preceding events that led to the Nigerian/Biafran civil war 1967-1970 was heralded and entrenched in genocide. Still massacres occur today between dissenting groups across Nigeria with an added edge of religious supremacy. The Jos crisis and the continuous Boko Haram menace still encroaches on the fragile tethers of the nation.

We are blessed with a very large population of intellectually deficient people who would ride on the coattails of a supposed leader’s ideology or fiery speech without a moment of questioning, self reflection and content analysis.

This of which has been strategically enforced by the Nigerian government to keep the public illiterate by laying education to rest in perfectly designed coffins of dilapidated schools so that the average Nigerian is decrepit to knowledge, and also decrepit to what entails as social and economic development. Hence his reliance on tribal skirmishes.

This substantial illiterate population poses a threat to Africa as a whole and we need to be wary of this lot. They cause as much danger to the society as the people who have criminally imposed themselves as leaders. The reason is, they are more likely to take up arms to kill their neighbours in a bid to impress their masters based on religious and ethnic ideologies. All it takes is for a lunatic to inspire them to wreak havoc.

It is no wonder why Boko Haram can spread its tentacles and amass dedicated recruits in Nigeria. It is no rocket science why it was very easy for a community in ALUU to lynch four boys on the dictates of their community chief. The population is mentally primitive.

Freedom of speech must be allowed but freedom of speech veering on ethnic and religious supremacy must be destroyed in Nigeria. This is not the 60's, where political correctness was still in its infancy. This is 2015.

It is left for the Nigerian youth to separate himself from the legacy of hatred inherited and perpetrated by these men and women called leaders or ‘elder statesmen’ whose political and cultural differences in ideology are sentimentally laced, garnished and cemented in ethnic and religious prejudices with the sole aim of inciting ‘our’ illiterate population that cannot discern right from wrong - a population that is ready to take up arms to kill in service to their puerile warlords.

Does your mum have family at all, mother, father, siblings? I don't want to believe that Nigerian women are this helpless in these kind of situations.

Found this site online. Maybe they can help you. Please contact them. Nobody should live like this.

http://projectalertnig.org/contact.html
http://projectalertnig.org/about.html

Contact
Project Alert on Violence Against Women (PROJECT ALERT)

Address: 21, Akinsanya Street
Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC)
Ojodu - Berger
P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja
Lagos, Nigeria

Telephone/E-mail: 234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072
projectalert@projectalertnig.org
info@projectalertnig.org

ABUJA OFFICE
26 Bamenda Street, Off Abidjan Street,
Wuse Zone 3
Telephone: 234 -8708618

The first link was published on the ncbi.gov site (Pubmed) which I have access to.
It's also on nature.com. I hope you can access it.
http://www.nature.com/srep/2014/140225/srep04176/full/srep04176.html

FrancisTony:
Cc Masonkz
Gsking

How true is this? I can't trust this dude because he loves conspiracy theory.

Watch this movie below. Had to watch it for a class...most boring movie ever, but it gives an insight on how it started.
It crossed over to heterosexuals through blood transfusion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UGLZXEJoyo

It is a privilege these mums come over to take care of your own baby, not your right.
You and your husband made the baby, channel your angst to him. He should do more in rearing his own child, otherwise hire a nanny.

Chillisauce:
you can make braids.
Its very difficult to maintain but what is easier?

Yes braids too as well. I just don't like sitting down for that.
My hair grows better natural, it makes up for the difficulty sha.

Chillisauce:
Is that your afro
Welcome to the club menh. Mine is a little longer than yours

Haa the afro sisters. I'm natural too, but I do wear wigs o. E no easy abeg.

KanwuliaJara:
I BIND IT!
I CAST IT!
I REBUKE IT!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10M60dGcDoI

KanwuliaJara:
The woman STROOOOOOONG!!!!
When my papa QUENCH finish, after over 30 years of FINAL divorce decree, NA SHE BUILD HOUSE FOR AM FOR IM VILLAGE, PAY OFF ALL IM DEBT AND HELPED US TO BURY HIM!

My joy?
He went to HER HOUSE to THANK HER BEFORE HE DIED!

Any body he saw, he will be shouting "MAKE UNA HELP ME THANK ANWULI O". . . And be crying IN TOP!

Good! As a NAIJA MAN MAKES HIS BED, so he DIES IN IT!

Dem go take ANGER AND WAHALA KEEEE DEMSEFS KE. . . . Dem family go dey shout winch-winch!

Dem go dey SHOUT ASSSHAWO! ASSSSHAWO! Dey beg you for money to h-enter grave!

If my mamma nor LOVE US ehn? My papa for SUFFER ke!


The reason my sister and I took after MY MOM, having long realized that NAIJA MEN ARE ONLY GOOD FOR BREEEEDING!

Nothing to OFFER BUT TO PULL A WOMAN DOWN!

In their dreams or NIGHTMARES!

I don show my husband PEPPER KE!
Make e come pass SHOUT for my pikins dem head or DARE BEAT DEM, say e wan discipline dem ke!

I go KILLLLLLAM!!!!

Psychos!

Mtcheeeeeeeew!!!!!

Lolllllll.
If your mother in her time had the guts to leave, what on earth is preventing these new-age married ones who are enduring worse in their marriages from saying enough is enough?

KanwuliaJara:
My case was the reverse, he was a SINGLE DAD!
My mom was too busy providing for SUMMER VACATIONS HAVING NARROWLY ESCAPED BEING A BREEDING MACHINE OF ALL TIMES.

She was the "visiting mom"!

My dad NEVER left the house after 7PM! He was ALWAYS IN OUR FACES O!

So, it only goes to show that the more FRUSTRATED parent spend the most time with the children!
My mama nor get time for that kain stay-at-home bizz-buzz o!

By age 30, after she run comot from my papa 'ouse, she dun build 4 HOUSES, including ONE MANSION for her PAPA VILLAGE, dey come carry us go ISRAEL, EUROPE and THE AMERICAS for summer holidays. . . .lef my papa to dey shout with drivers and housmaids ke!

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooor!!!!!

Lol.
Wow I doff my hat to your mom.
I like hearing about strong women, not weak and beta females who cannot take control of their destiny.

Ihuomadinihu:
^ Is that not an old thread/topic....ijs.

Yeah it is, but I would like to restart it. It would be nice to hear from you guys on gender relations in Igbo tradition. I don't want to start a new thread.

EfemenaXY:
The supression exists mostly on nland. Not in the real world.
Don't you know that most of the Oppressors on here can't even say "Boo" to a fly on the outside? How much more to a living-flesh-and-blood-woman in the real world?

Lol, It is here on NL, I knew who the 'real' Nigerians are.
It is here I heard single young girls cannot live on their own or move out of their father's house.
Young girls should not buy a car, a house so as not to 'threaten' a potential husband etc

I used to be annoyed at my parents then for not letting me associate with the neighbours or friends, I mean my parents literally locked us in the house , if Nairaland represents the Nigerian community I now understand why they did what they did.

KanwuliaJara:
Two questions.

1. Where is your dad from?
2. Did he live with you IN THE SAME HOUSE 24/7.

No need for long explanations o.
Just answer with only ONE WORD EACH!

I lived with mine from age 0 to 21 after I graduated from the Uni.

The day I left, my super mom bought me a ONE-WAY ticket to the GREATEST USA! Never to return!

The man don die o. How did he die?
Shouting!

Lol

1) Nigeria
2) Yes - if we take out travelling for work related issues.

My mum was and is still the terrorist of the house. My dad threatens us with our mum sef.
That is why I find it extremely queer when I smell egotism from males on this site. I feel I must have lived in a different Nigeria with the views of males that try to suppress the female voice on this site.

cococandy:
Did she say 'thank you' when you gave it to her?
If yes. That's enough.
What other kind of appreciative do you want her to be? Maybe the car is appreciation in her own way.(competitive maybe) but hey...

Anyway I'm gonna gonna go out on a leg here and say that you're probably like the typical African man who believes having money is a requirement that defines your manhood. And having a girl who has that same power as you is now a question mark on your status in the relationship.right?

Because for some guys as long as they are in charge financially, they have no doubt that their lady will be pliant towards them since she's all but dependent on them.

Well now you gotta learn how to be a man without hiding behind expensive gifts.
That's your new homework.
Talk about learning to use your left hand in old age.

Deeeeeeeeeep!

KanwuliaJara:
So?
Where do you think I got my "EXORSIST AGGRESSIVE" behavior from?
My dad of course! The DUDE shouted from DAWN TO DUSK! Even in his SLEEP UNPROVOKED!
Angry DADS who are ALWAYS BROKE breed HUNGRY AND ANGRY CHILDREN!!!!

My super-darling MOM ALWAYS RESCUED US O!!!!

Amen!!!!

Lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

It was the reverse in my home. My mom was the disciplinarian, and my dad would do anything for me. I'm more endeared to my dad and my mum can't stand me for that.
Most naija children are more endeared to their mom though.

KanwuliaJara:
I loved mine too!
ONLY BECAUSE HE DID NOT KNOW ANY BETTER, being raised in the HELL HOLE OF A LOVELESS, AFRICAN JUNGLE, repeating the mistakes of his BULLISH ancestors!

My mama try to stay with am for ONLY 8 years!
Getting her pregnant EVERY GADDEM year with his ANIMALISTIC, PSYCHO-RELIGIOUS sexual urges that produced almost 5 children in LESS THAN 4 years, WAS THE HEIGHT OF WICKEDNESS AND DOMESTIC ABUSE!!!!'
My mom had to RRRRRRRRUN for her dear life ke!

He never beat her with his hands!

But DAMMMMMN!
She suffered BY HIS BLOKOS!!!!

Haaaaaaaaaa. lol

raumdeuter:
This one and "Power-Enter" which one worse pass?

You watched that one too? Lol. I just shook my head.
It's always women you see in such stu.pid positions. Yeye people.

EfemenaXY:
This is fun.

KanwuliaJara, nuffin do you.

@OP:

#10: The chronic 419er

#11: The Jailbird

#12: The Schizophrenic nutcase

#13: The bone-idle, jobless, shyte stirrer, and ever-watchful monitoring spirit (Your average Nairalander male)

Hahahahaha. They will soon burst into this thread like drugged rams.

This is what happens when the sheeple refuse to read their bibles themselves.
It is not funny to me that Christianity has been hijacked by charlatans.

EfemenaXY:














You ladies are just killing me, I tell ya!

@OP: a.k.a Justfarb2... How old are you? Pls focus on your JAMB / NECO / SSCE exams or whatever it is they're called these days. If you aspire to be a runs girl when you grow up, at least you'll have your education to fall back on when times get hard.

You are laughing, Efe? lol
There is a thread here where a journalist wrote that as a good African woman who preserves her marriage at all cost, the woman went back to her husband that ra.ped her daughters.
Which African tradition condones IN.CEST? My forefathers would have burnt him on a stake and thrown him into the evil forest shouting ABOMINATION.
So these women need to specify on which culture condone all these atrocities . No more hiding under the umbrella of African or Nigerian culture, please tell us the tribe that requires you to die in silence when disrespected.