₦airaland Forum

Aww,
First, you need to have a clue what career path you would like to take. What exactly are you good at? Degrees are great, but are worthless if you don't know what you want to do with it and how to apply your degree. What was your program in before you dropped out anyway? If you wish to go the entrepreneurial path begin to search entrepreneurial courses you can take. If you like computers, you need to know what certificate courses you need to take to boost your knowledge of your chosen career path. Equip yourself with knowledge and never ever restrict yourself.

Also, begin to build a network of people in that your chosen career path. Ask them questions, email people in your chosen career field asking for advice. The worst they can do is not to respond, right? Offer to intern paid or unpaid so that you can begin to build up your resume. I don't know how it is in Nigeria and if companies organize networking events that anyone can attend. But please hound these places and kill every sense of shyness. Networking is very very important. Tell your family to be on the look out for you, if they know any person involved in your career field...your family can't be that bad.

Another nonsense.
Give your man se.x and watch him become your houseboy.
When you notice your man is doing too much gra gra for you, catch him, lock the door and make sure no single spermatozoa remains in his tank.
Which energy will he have to be making noise in the house or screaming feminist, feminist online?

Toks2008:
I will never divorce a cheating wife instead i will just marry another one and allow her walk out of my life gently.
GOD forbid i waste my hard earned money to divorce a slut.

Am I the only one that finds this guy's comments funny?

manmustwac:
This is how people waste their years with statements like that which you just wrote and Gods time is the best, its in Gods hands, leave everything to God etc. Some women will even end up waiting in their late 30s waiting for waiting for the so called Gods time

This is the problem I have with you traditionalists.
You say you have a concoction that works, but you won't package it into a goldmine but instead would prefer to remain in the bush doing only God knows what.
If indeed she was able to get your wife pregnant, tell/help her to collaborate with the National Health Research Ethics Committee, Nigeria
http://nhrec.net/nhrec/ or doctors involved with clinical research in pregnant women to test her product.
The sample of her concoction needs to pass through preclinical research though before testing in humans.

Toks2008:
Im sorry i have edited and number 4 is now number five and i muust say you are likely not to have issues in your marriage with this reasonable mindset.

I have conseled many married ladies and 8 out of 10 issues bothers on the sexual infidelity of the man and after i finish talking to them they tend to realize the truth.

No man is worth your stress and while we know there are men who will not cheat on their wives,there is usually no stamp on their heads that they will be faithful.

My write ups are usually deep and very hard for the immature at heart to decipher. I believe if every lady can care less as difficult as it may sound and ignore a philandering hubby,the happier they will be.

My advice for the guy who have decided to tow this lane is to respect the wife n do it far far away and also use a protection to reduce the chance of bringing home sti to the woman at home.

Most men are not nterested in having you leave for another lady but they just want to have a taste of any emotionally vulnulrable lady who brings herself so cheaply to share another lady hubby but wen you start making trouble wiith him and trying to prevent him from unleashing his passion,that is when trouble starts.

A good guy can turn bad and a faithful man can bcome a reckless philanderer so these questions are very vital only for a lady who is faced with the situation.

There is nothing we won't see in this place!

NashvilleTN:
From some of the stories I read on Nairaland, I can only conclude I lived a very sheltered life. Cos I have never heard anything close to this! Why on earth would she want to see her naked.

My advice, her boyfriend's mum should explain!

prettigurl16:
Hello house,
I have decided to come open with an issue that is giving me concern. The problem is that I need a man. My own man. Now, that shouldn't be a problem because I have all the qualities of a lovely wifey. However, the problem is the unavailability of Nigerian men where I am. Now let me give you the demographics:
African-2%
Caucasian-80%
Asians- 18%
What are my chances seeing as even the Africans are from countries like Kenya, Somalia, Uganda etc.
Now I have recently gotten involved with a Caucasian but the problem is all the things I have been hearing concerning them are not palatable.
So house, what are your views on interracial marriage? What should I expect or not expect?
Thank you.

Are the things you hear about Nigerian men palatable either? Just take a trip to google, and search Nigerian men if you won't have heart attack and question their unrefined morality.
Anyway, you have a preference and unfortunately your preference is tied to a nationality with characteristics that can scare the hair off anyone's neck. I can only pray for you and wish you good luck in your search. So stick to your preference if that would make you truly happy. I only advice interracial relationships to people it comes naturally to.

Meanwhile here is a Nigerian girl vlogger in an interracial marriage. There are some other ones on youtube like that. Very cute relationships.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Dx-tINs4Mc

Sagamite over to you!

cococandy:
Saudi Arabia proposes to build 200 mosques in Germany for the "incoming" refugees.
http://www.ibtimes.com/amid-muslim-refugee-crisis-saudi-arabia-vows-build-200-mosques-germany-2090905

Oh the nerve.

Lol. Germany better be careful.

Sagamite:
This is one of the typical sources of the social-deceit called "happily married".

https://www.nairaland.com/2599087/ibe-kachikwu-wife-elizabeth-thisday/2#38118437

Hey Sagamite, Stillwater here! Been a while!
What is that thread about? Is he a cheater, polygamist or what other new name is out there?

Timbuktou:


My forefathers built wonderful pyramid and were the first to write worldwide. Historical trends would suggest that world super powering is turn by turn. It's the turn of Finnish men. However, one should be careful about projecting the myopia of their greatgrandfathers upon others. I assure you, I have a sound legacy and the expectations are high. So, if your greatgrandfathers only dream of cassava farms it's ok; don't just think we're all on that level

MGTOW is men who understand their value and are depriving leeches from parasiting on them. While I don't approve of their methods, I see it for what it is; a symptom of a dying society. The men in MGTOW are the ones that will give the west you fawn over the hope that they can be great again, as you know the culture of the west is dying at an alarmingly quick rate, or do you?

You're beginning to sound like Innervoice your new friend, strawman me not.

Pyramids? Are we talking about groundnut pyramids or ancient Egypt's pyramids? Let Egyptians catch you. If you had said Oyo kingdom I for understand small.

All you have to do is to translate your unemasculatedness as a Nigerian African man to a reverberating economy, that your own women and children can be proud of.
How can Western men who you depict as 'slaves' to their women be more successful than you lot? Wetin happen?

Timbuktou:
Of course, you're at liberty to believe what you want, but it did achieve that effect didn't it?

However, you're free to take up Crackhaus's counter-argument to yours if you find it misrepresentative of your point of view. He seems more inclined

Of course, the female and male gametes supply a haploid number of chromosomes (23). The writer in my article compared the percentage effort between the species about the survival of the human race and concluded that the female is more important in the grand scheme of things.

Scientists have cloned a sheep named Dolly without involving any male spermatozoa.
Dolly was born on July 5,1996 and had three mothers (one provided the egg, another the DNA and a third carried the cloned embryo to term).[8] She was created using the technique of somatic cell nuclear transfer, where the cell nucleus from an adult cell is transferred into an unfertilized oocyte (developing egg cell) that has had its cell nucleus removed. The hybrid cell is then stimulated to divide by an electric shock, and when it develops into a blastocyst it is implanted in a surrogate mother.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_(sheep)

You men just need to be careful and pray this technology is not allowed in humans, otherwise you would be reduced to redundancy and irrelevance.

Timbuktou:
the so-called science you're recoursing to will suggest otherwise . I know you don't like masculine men, it's ok, but it's not based in reality.

Men have always led the way in the pre-skyscraper days and will continue to do so till our species goes extinct. In those days of forceful dominance by men, what stopped women from killing off all the men in their sleep and taking over the world. Or if they needed some form of maleness, why not enslave them and have them out only as needed? Were those women too timid to envision a world without men, or were they too stewpid to control the male population? Afterall, the midwives must have been exclusively women, they could have killed every 9 of 10 male children and presented fake data on natural infant mortality.

The truth is women are useless without men in the world. Look at finland and their neighbours that boast more equal gender statistics than the rest of the world. Their women are content with being hairdressers and salon owners and there is no gender there o. Nature has a way of evening bvllshit out in the long run. The men in Finland are still the ones doing the dirty, tedious work. Finnish men are slaves.

Apparently women are doing all these now without resorting to violence or even going to war.
Men are currently being enslaved as ordinary spe.rm donors who still have to pay for child support.
There is now a support group for these slaves called 'MGTOW' - men going their own way...Many of you would eventually join it after intelligent women like myself who have studied this inequality unravels this age long misnomer in society.
If we were stu.pid before, we are no more stu.pid. That is why Feminism is here to stay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finnish men have created a better society than your great grandfathers can ever dream of.
What is to show for African men's 'un-emasculatedness'? One would expect that since African men are not a slaves, pose to be the man of the house, olowo ori of all the women in Africa, your society would be better, meanwhile Africa is the laughing stock of the world! I do not get it?

Timbuktou:
I answered that way to bring the argument from fantasy back to living reality. As you can see, I refused to shift ground and have saved myself from going all unnecessarily scientific. I didn't even read it all. It's all within the sphere of fantasy that these women want us to live by.

So, my answer is: women without men, are useless. Full stop. Anybody that needs formal science to understand this is tobe pitied. .

Hope you get my drift now?

Lmao, na true...

innervoice:
I don't think I need to tell you who a useless father is. It say a lot about such a woman, for example, that she was so intimidated that she decided that it was better to marry a useless man instead of not marrying at all BECAUSE she has been taught that her value and the survival of the species depend on her marriage.


If a mother is useless, the kids will most likely end up being miserable and a menace to society.

That is why I am here to counter their position, before young girls are threatened psychologically to aspire to something as disastrous as that.

innervoice:
Only those with a fvcked up self-esteem are concerned with such questions. The rest know their worth and do not need neediness to feel better.

But if you were insecure and needy, you would. Misery seeks company.

And if I were not married, I would tame the tigress in you.
Men like Timbumumu need the intimidated ones. Intimidation is his mission on NL.

All of my bachelor's life I have been bored with needy, boring, weak females who were no challenge at all and whose life revolved around getting married. Where have you been?

This is my first time noticing your username.
Hehehe, tame the tigress...it's only when I'm on NL I unleash that part of me, because on a normal day I can never ever come across such things or people.
I exalt femininity with an extra touch of practicality with no apologies!!!!
Funny thing is men are usually kind and respectful to me. It takes a lot for men to have the effrontery to ask me out too as well.
So innervoice, it would take a lot to tame my tigress...if you were not married of course.

innervoice:
Stillfire,

children develop better when they have a mother AND a father.

Of course I agree, innervoice. My first comment on the thread recognized the importance of marriage with the one you love and how kids are better off in the institution.
But on the grand scheme of things, it is very questionable who needs who more between a man and a woman.
If you look at the way society is going and how easily you can get rid of fathers from the equation, I do not think as a man I would be worried about if a woman marries or not, but rather how to prevent my gender from extinction.

Timbuktou:
Stillfire, I don't mind the epistle. Not that ai read it all, anyway; but I get the gist. And my response is, were all men to disappear from the earth leaving you women behind, that would signal the end of the human species. You would die off slowly because you women could not cope with the demands of sustaining the species that nature has assigned to men; adventure, invention, innovation, etc. You would eat yourselves up in no time

The only other way to correct for the absence of men would be to evolve another sex that would be high in testoterone and have the general male mannerisms and nature.

The sustenance of the human race existed long before the advent of skyscrapers, and continue it shall even by the extinction of men. Humans have the natural ability to adapt to changing environment. As default women are humans too. So we wont miss ya! Besides without men, there would be/have been no restrictions to the female existence and females would not have to suppress their intelligence so as to kiss male egos.

Una no dey tire?

If you find yourself as a women praying more than your husband, you have lost it . As the head, a man is supposed to take up the priestly mantle of bringing his family to God, interceding on behalf of his family. If your wife is praying more than you, interceding on behalf of the family more than you and she is more in tune with God, apparently God will/does NOT recognize the headship of you the man. The biblical criteria of headship is not how much money you can make, it is to be like Jesus, pray fervently like Jesus, talk like Jesus and be in tune with the father.

Timbuktou:
For avoidance of doubt, I agree with the generality of your post, I would only like to present a different opinion to this parts of your comment.

I disagree that marriage should not be imposed. I'm of the opinion that it should. Here's why: marriage is very, very vital to the continuation of our species. Again, I say, very, very vital. Married men are, on average, far more productive than bachelors.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2015/04/02/dont-be-a-bachelor-why-married-men-work-harder-and-smarter-and-make-more-money/

This accounts for hardworkers, and adventurers and inventors to mention a few. But most bachelors are very productive, you might say. Yes, that's true, however, you should know that this is because these men have a family in view. Left to themselves, most men, and I mean a large percentage, are content with just vegetating with the least amount of effort required to just be alive.


So, when you say marriage is only a part of life and is not a priority, I have to ask if you understand the importance of a strong family to the society. Any dysfunctional family is a scourge on society, and singles are leeches. Fact. It should be the priority of every human to marry and marry well.

We haven't even talked about old maidens and their drop in market value due to deteriorating beauty and health, drop in the possibility of birthing healthy offspring. There is proof on this thread of women who said they don't need men, seeing that in fact, they do need men; whether Nigerian men or not is totally irrelevant. The fact is they do need men and they found this out after years of foolish stiff-neckedness and petulance. They realised that what their mothers and aunties had told them when they were much younger did carry a lot of merit. That's the job of the older generation; to teach and compel even where necessary. And the truth is any man or woman who refuses to marry is a failure, plain and simple.

Sorry for the epistle.

I find it queer that we tend to still believe this.
There is a social warfare going on and if I were a man I would be very concerned about the relevance of the male gender in today's society and forget about if a human being chooses to marry early or late.
Who really needs who in the grand scheme of things?

MAMMALS are named after their defining characteristic, the glands capable of sustaining a life for years after birth — glands that are functional only in the female. And yet while the term “mammal” is based on an objective analysis of shared traits, the genus name for human beings, Homo, reflects an 18th-century masculine bias in science.

That bias, however, is becoming harder to sustain, as men become less relevant to both reproduction and parenting. Women aren’t just becoming men’s equals. It’s increasingly clear that “mankind” itself is a gross misnomer: an uninterrupted, intimate and essential maternal connection defines our species.

The central behaviors of mammals revolve around how we bear and raise our young, and humans are the parenting champions of the class. In the United States, for nearly 20 percent of our life span we are considered the legal responsibility of our parents.

With expanding reproductive choices, we can expect to see more women choose to reproduce without men entirely. Fortunately, the data for children raised by only females is encouraging. As the Princeton sociologist Sara S. McLanahan has shown, poverty is what hurts children, not the number or gender of parents.

That’s good, since women are both necessary and sufficient for reproduction, and men are neither. From the production of the first cell (egg) to the development of the fetus and the birth and breast-feeding of the child, fathers can be absent. They can be at work, at home, in prison or at war, living or dead.

Think about your own history. Your life as an egg actually started in your mother’s developing ovary, before she was born; you were wrapped in your mother’s fetal body as it developed within your grandmother.

After the two of you left Grandma’s womb, you enjoyed the protection of your mother’s prepubescent ovary. Then, sometime between 12 and 50 years after the two of you left your grandmother, you burst forth and were sucked by her fimbriae into the fallopian tube. You glided along the oviduct, surviving happily on the stored nutrients and genetic messages that Mom packed for you.

Then, at some point, your father spent a few minutes close by, but then left. A little while later, you encountered some very odd tiny cells that he had shed. They did not merge with you, or give you any cell membranes or nutrients — just an infinitesimally small packet of DNA, less than one-millionth of your mass.

Over the next nine months, you stole minerals from your mother’s bones and oxygen from her blood, and you received all your nutrition, energy and immune protection from her. By the time you were born your mother had contributed six to eight pounds of your weight. Then as a parting gift, she swathed you in billions of bacteria from her birth canal and groin that continue to protect your skin, digestive system and general health. In contrast, your father’s 3.3 picograms of DNA comes out to less than one pound of male contribution since the beginning of Homo sapiens 107 billion babies ago.

And while birth seems like a separation, for us mammals it’s just a new form of attachment to our female parent. If your mother breast-fed you, as our species has done for nearly our entire existence, then you suckled from her all your water, protein, sugar, fats and even immune protection. She sampled your diseases by holding you close and kissing you, just as your father might have done; but unlike your father, she responded to your infections by making antibodies that she passed to you in breast milk.

I don’t dismiss the years I put in as a doting father, or my year at home as a house husband with two young kids. And I credit my own father as the more influential parent in my life. Fathers are of great benefit. But that is a far cry from “necessary and sufficient” for reproduction.


If a woman wants to have a baby without a man, she just needs to secure sperm (fresh or frozen) from a donor (living or dead). The only technology the self-impregnating woman needs is a straw or turkey baster, and the basic technique hasn’t changed much since Talmudic scholars debated the religious implications of insemination without sex in the fifth century. If all the men on earth died tonight, the species could continue on frozen sperm. If the women disappear, it’s extinction.

Ultimately the question is, does “mankind” really need men? With human cloning technology just around the corner and enough frozen sperm in the world to already populate many generations, perhaps we should perform a cost-benefit analysis.

It’s true that men have traditionally been the breadwinners. But women have been a majority of college graduates since the 1980s, and their numbers are growing. It’s also true that men have, on average, a bit more muscle mass than women. But in the age of ubiquitous weapons, the one with the better firepower (and knowledge of the law) triumphs.

Meanwhile women live longer, are healthier and are far less likely to commit a violent offense. If men were cars, who would buy the model that doesn’t last as long, is given to lethal incidents and ends up impounded more often?

Recently, the geneticist J. Craig Venter showed that the entire genetic material of an organism can be synthesized by a machine and then put into what he called an “artificial cell.” This was actually a bit of press-release hyperbole: Mr. Venter started with a fully functional cell, then swapped out its DNA. In doing so, he unwittingly demonstrated that the female component of sexual reproduction, the egg cell, cannot be manufactured, but the male can.

When I explained this to a female colleague and asked her if she thought that there was yet anything irreplaceable about men, she answered, “They’re entertaining.”

Gentlemen, let’s hope that’s enough.

Greg Hampikian is a professor of biology and criminal justice at Boise State University and the director of the Idaho Innocence Project.

Not sorry for the long epistle

edwife:
I really don't see what seems to be your problem? Who is talking about family section?Is NL comprised only of family section females?

When you talk about chauvinists who are you addressing?Do you call names?

I have stated my opinion and you should state yours and not bother about what i am writing here because i don't bother about what other posters write.I came back here to answer my friend.

When I talk about chauvinists, I'm talking about NL family male posters that develop pile when feminism is mentioned and still cannot recover from the fact that there are females with differing opinions to status quo.
I have stated my opinion, but I can state it again if you did not get it.
1) There was no need for the sordid tales.
2) If a married woman posts about her married happy self, it does not make sense to start recanting how many married women are suffering and feigning their lives on NL.
3) One does not have to be victim of a societal misnomer for me to partake in stopping an injustice. For example, I do not need to be a victim of domestic violence to speak against domestic violence. In this case, I do not have to be a part of 'fakers', for me to be concerned about when one throws accusations on the 'general' people for faking their lives.

I don't know of any girl who prefers her ears not pierced. A life of not wearing earrings?
She is more than likely to prefer her ears pierced. Babies are usually given very threatening injections that can traumatize the most strong of us, an ear piercing is a walk in the park.

Both husband and wife are to manage the home-front, unless the wife is not contributing anything financially. Then she can take sole control of home.
In this day an age a man should be equipped with such 'homely' skills as well.
It is very attractive and depicts him as a quintessential gentleman.

edwife:
As far as i know,NL has thousand of members and if your fingers are that much,then i don't know.Besides everybody is protective of their lives,who isn't it? That's why i talk generally and not based on 8 or 10 ladies i know here.

If you are not among this shouldn't bother you.

Yes I can count the number of single posters that are consistent in their postings on the family section on my fingers. So who among these females are we addressing? On your 'bother' logic, if you do not feign to live a rosy life, why is it bothering you too that others live a not so rosy life as they presume? Are you among the people faking something as well? Since the premise here is that since I am addressing your comments, I must be bothered and obviously live a fake life. Does not make sense.
I just find it weird that on a thread that depicts a single lady being happy with herself, there is a diatribe of sordid tales depicting single women as feigning their decisions. If a married woman posts being happy with her married self, should we start talking about women who are suffering in their marriages and decry the institution of marriage? Does it make sense?

freecocoa:
Hmmm, I'm not a bigot or one to take stereotypes seriously but this talk about yoruba men turning bad after a while is becoming something else o.

OP at this point, I can't really think of anything else but you leaving that man, he obviously doesn't give a hoot about you no more, just try and get a job like you said and talk to your folks, the deed's been done, no gain crying over spilt milk, but why should you be begging a man that treats you as trash to start with? You have to love yourself to the point you won't take less than you deserve, you set the tone for how people should treat you.

I am a lady and I'd want to be a lady a million lives again, true, we find ourselves in this world the way it operates but you can set your own rules and live by them, no point in regretting.

Na real something else.

edwife:
Well i was as a matter of fact but those posts made me see what really go on in some of our sisters's lives.It is not all that rosy as people portray it to be,especially on NL.

This is nothing,when you go to the site-you will read stories that you can never read here.

Who are the people portraying life as rosy on NL?
Most people are usually protective of their lives here. Most women here are married, I believe.
I can count the single girls on my finger tips including my honorable self.
Which of these single girls are feigning rosy lives?

Look at how patriarchy has lost its grip. Cowardly stunts everywhere. i thought you lot were brave now, you could have called out names now, that is if dem born you, your mama, your papa well rather than hide under snide remarks and pseudonyms. Just try it . See as we have reduced men to more female traits of passive aggression. Rotflmao. And they think feminism has not won?

I dare all of you, just address the people you are talking to. Just do it. Instead of doing the chicken thing of being a coward.

Girls if you want to marry early...go ahead and marry
If you don't want to marry...don't marry
If you want to bid your time before you marry...please go ahead.
It is your basic human right to make choices by yourself. Of course some people are not happy when you understand your human rights as a woman.
The world is your oyster, enjoy it, play with it, have fun o jare...

Phema:
Damn! The men are going to hate this.

How dare you breathe without them?

Lol, the thing dey pain dem for body, no be small. All because a girl said 'I don't go to bed thinking about marriage'.
All the snide remarks on top an easy going thread. So freaking childish. Eyah is this what happens when egos have been crushed severely by stilettos? Lmao!
You really begin to wonder who really needs who in this marriage thing?
After we will see threads how women initiate divorce faster than a speeding bullet. And in the same breath women need men, rotflmao!
Confusion galore.

Rotflmao!
Another rubbish!

Never compare your husband to your one time sex mate in bedroom, or an Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.(SS 5v9)

Lmao. What has that verse got to do with what you wrote?

Chillisauce:
Dem plenty here now.
Are you telling me.

Buhahaha!

harakiri:
WTF was that? First, "Harakiri" is a man. Second, what "feminine" angle are you talking about?

Buhahahaha!

Chillisauce:

Lol, just imagine it.