₦airaland Forum

pickabeau1:
Maybe its not you
Someone does that a lot here to show abuse can happen to even the primadonnaz

Definitely not me. I even did a quick search and nothing links me to Halle except this thread and a reference from coogar.

pickabeau1:
So is Halle Berry not the angel as purported by people but a real harridanish drama queen

Opinions?

cc: stillfire -you refer to her a lot
cougar
Timbuktou
s_ kimono
edwife
Ewuro4

Refer to Halle a lot? When, how, in what way? Scratching my head...

@OP

I hope you don't have a false sense of belief that your husband will accord you all these analyses if you cheat eventhough you forgave him when he cheated. You and your ghana must go would be thrown out sharply.

And that is how they ruined Nigeria with all their bitterness.
As if there are no demonic marriages inside their own ethnic groups.
I hope there are no girls still falling for such scare tactics in 2015. There are 7 billion people in the world and a woman would restrict finding her happiness in one tiny fraction of humans? Rubbish.
Any girl that falls for such scare tactics in 2015, should be slapped.

eyinjuege:
Welcome to the real world, where stereotyping is the order of the day
Unfortunate, but it is what it is. You can try and change it though, by raising your brood to judge people as humans and individuals first and foremost.
It's sad that most oldies in the previous generations are a lost cause, don't even bother trying to convince them. Just do what it's in your heart to do, make your choices and get ready to live with the consequences regardless.

Serious lost cause. I have never understood restricting your love life to your village, lmao.

raumdeuter:
coogar and pickabeau can you identify all these new names and tie them to their old monicker

E.g who is Kimoni, Stillfire abi na stillwater

Stillwater/Stillfire - all the same

Timbuktou:
Why not? Is the ministry for securing husband's for desperate women not a goldmine. Look at any Chris Ojigbani drama show and notice the most ardent customers.

coogar:
close to 60% of the single babes in nigeria attend these church programmes on a weekly basis. my dear, the struggle is real.
the struggle is real.

With the way the poster I quoted said it I thought the women go through Biafran war to marry, so it is ordinary praying and fasting?
Anyway I dunno the type of relationship that is going on there, the relationship I am familiar with is man meets woman, woman like man, they marry...No struggle abeg

coogar:
[img]http://4.bp..com/-l_19DoU6vPc/US4tiypCIFI/AAAAAAAAflk/VYkylPPBrWA/s400/church+poster+3.jpg[/img]

Lmao! You are not serious.

Did you even remember all you went through before your title changed to MRS; as a lady you'll understand better.

Lmao! Some of these advice...what on earth does a woman go through before she marries? Abi something different is happening in that una Nigeria I don't know of? You guys should gist me.

lilmax:
And this is why men must take full responsibility to avoid things like this

The fear of washing plates...

coogar:
there are few inventions already....
nigerian girls have already invented aristoism & the art of washing their bits in the food of their intended preys so as to put them under a spell.

Lmao! No be science be that? To find the cure for wandering di.cks? In fact that needs to be patented.

JustTara:
so far, this is the best response I've gotten. I didn't even think of it.

Reach out to this people.

http://www.projectalertnig.org/

Contact
Project Alert on Violence Against Women (PROJECT ALERT)

Address: 21, Akinsanya Street
Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop (Behind FRSC)
Ojodu - Berger
P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja
Lagos, Nigeria

Telephone/E-mail: 234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072
projectalert@projectalertnig.org
info@projectalertnig.org

ABUJA OFFICE
26 Bamenda Street, Off Abidjan Street,
Wuse Zone 3
Telephone: 234 -8708618

nicerichard05:
Seriously we were calm and the fear of our father was the beginning of wisdom. Lolz cos even if u report, e wil stil flog u for talking back at your senior. Lolz
Buh thank God its all over now and sometimes we use to mak joke with him like "where all dose pipo wen u pay sch fees for now" shey na we be ur paddy nw, if headache hold u, u don call us, cos he is quiet old now. Lolz

The thing this 'respect' thing will cause in Africa.

EggovinMma:
Your dad is as tough as mine?
My dad was even worse . Someone we feared till our university days.My dad no dey use cane, na three mouth koboko. If he flog you from front e go land for your back!
Sometimes na blow and slap, see upon all the gragra, e born pikin wey stubborn like am.If he beat me the one wey I no fit bear, I run comot from house.
Even as child, I can know rights! I have this notion at that age about what I'm even living for sef, I don tire for life'' and this thought makes me do very life threatening stunts like playing with naked wires or plunged boiling rings.It was quite disturbing, so if you like flog me, I must do my own back.I can revenge m weda your my parents or not, I must do my own back ooo!

Lollllll!

1k001:
While they may have done a wonderful job in their homes, they did a terrible job as a collective generation. Bequeathing us nothing but unemployment and failed dreams. We can't do the same to our kids, our jobs as parents extend beyond just our home to making sure society as a whole is fair to all.

Remember that evil triumphs when good men do nothing. Many of our good parents did nothing or didn't do enough.

Absolutely agree.
You have just recanted the exact sentiments I ponder on frequently. As a collective it is a disaster.
As a Nigerian one absolutely needs to question these things. Why can't these values translate into the larger society? Politically, socially, morally, despite the number of religious houses, Nigeria is a disaster. Something is not right within the family network, because that is the microcosm of any society. Our generation absolutely needs to do better.

TV01:
Morning Stilly.. how far?

Deep down you do realise this is mostly wishful thinking don't you? !

If Nigerian women are given the opportunities that Western women have, thet'll do exactly the same thing Western women do - and pretty much what they themselves already do now

If Nigerian women are the beneficiaries of affirmative action, positive policy and financial incentives to to study STEM courses, and at the same time have an array of alternative choices, they will either;

1. Continue to take advantage of the enabling environment to enter STEM fields and then (a) drop out at higher numbers before completion (b) leave the profession in higher numbers after completion - many within a few years, and (c) add very little, if anything, to actual progression in these fields

2. Simply express a preference for other fields or specialities that are more in keeping with their inclinations and amenable to their lifestyle choices.

In wiring, there is little difference between any two groups of women - however you categorise them . Nigeria is way more likely to produce a Kim K before a Bill G.

To properly re-engineer society, you first have to re-wire women

Please don't, we love you as you are were


TV

Lmao! TV01, why are you such a party pooper?
Don't worry. I will be the person to pour water on you when you faint as a result of hearing about the many inventions by Nigerian girls.

ApexTitan:
I see, so you are angling for an increase in percentage and not gender parity in STEM? What percentage should we take as acceptable then?

Again your argument falls apart when we look at societies that have removed or greatly reduced these cultural barriers, the women in those places are still not entering STEM in droves as was hoped. Courses in humanities, social sciences and arts still command the majority of women's interests there and the "issue" of under-representation remains. This remains an "issue" or a problem that must be fixed only because activists and the likes close themselves to the possibility of there being a natural/biological basis for the reason why these gender choices are made. There is evidence that strongly suggests such a natural bias, factor this possibility into your considerations then re-appraise the situation.

The funny thing about this topic is the group of women who know in their heart of hearts that they find mathematics or engineering boring and unappealing but because it is now seen as the corner stone of national development turn around and claim that it was because of men/society/culture that they were prevented from entering those fields. (Cue that comic oga TV put up in the beginning of this thread. )

I have strong faith in African women and would treat our issues independently of Western women.
To highlight our differences, as of the 19th century Western women were still regarded as non-legal beings who could not even vote, but African women could boast of the benefit of a balance of power between the sexes despite the society being patrilineal.
Fast forward to the 20th century, while Western women were changing the idea of womanhood through feminism, Victorian and colonial policies were being injected into Africa, thereby retrogressing the African female social, political leaderships. During the colonial period, the curricula emphasized domestic science for girls. Technological and scientific based education was not encouraged. The curricula for girls enabled them to become good housewives, rather than income earners.
Despite this and every other thing I have said, Nigerian female rates roughly match the Western counterparts. I don't need anyone to tell me that we can do excellently well if given the opportunities Western women have.

ApexTitan:
Ah, thanks I've been looking for numbers from Nigeria for sometime now and was able to see it in the source link from which your initial post was based on.(http://www.ncsu.edu/aern/TAS11.2/TAS11.2_10Udeani.pdf)

My second question still remains and while it may be a tad pedantic I think this should be addressed. Misogyny is basically woman hate or hatred of women so one is curious to see or understand how women are prevented from entering STEM because of misogyny. Understand that I have singled out this term because it gets flung about as one of the major cultural attitudes that holds women back, I am not denying that girls are raised differently I just want to see the 'woman hatred' in this.
^
I am willing to put down my money that even if we remove the present day (cultural) barriers that keep women from STEM in Nigeria/Africa we will still have this case of under-representation. The nature of the STEM fields are such that the majority of women do not find them appealing; strip away all forms of acculturation and see how many women, in relation to men, get excited by the thought of working long hours in laboratories, rigs or workshops. Many women will still find the rigours of STEM incongruent with their natural leanings no matter what. A parallel to this argument can be found in the military; even if you prod and encourage them religiously many women, in relation to men, will still be hesitant in participating in units of the forces where hardcore infantry operations are the staples. The reasons for this have less to do with laziness per se and more to do with natural dispositions.

Concerning misogyny and its manifestations include hatred, belittling of women, seeing masculinity as superior to femininity. And guess who gets more belittling - women who do not conform to the set partriachial standards. Now any woman who wants to be loved and protected under partriachial institutions would need to follow the rules. And the rule from the past to today is that she aspires to be a wife first, a man's property. She then reasons that if societal expectations are to become a wife and avoid this patriarchal angst towards her womanhood, she has to appropriate her aspirations to family, hence we have a high drop out rate of women in STEM.
Me too I'm willing to put my money down that if we take away these cultural barriers our percentages would increase.

coogar:
wait a minute........
so men should be blamed just because women are generally not as ambitious as the men? how's that the men's or the society's fault?

i can very much relate to what happened to your mentor in the unit. i have seen it play out right in front of my very eyes during contract negotiations.

women tend to take the first offer on the plate while men tend to haggle their fees till the cows come home. after all said & done, the same women would start crying that there's a gender discrimination lurking somewhere.

i don't have a problem with your assertive traits. we actually want to see such in women every now & then. don't just blame us men for the women who have decided to carry their modesty into their life ambitions.

Arggh when did I blame men?
The example was to show how we are socialized differently. And how women need to be aware of these nuances that actually restrict them. Awon 'submissive spirit' things.
Nobody cites gender discrimination for pay differences any more, no need repeating it on every thread . I think it was forbes article that carried it and it was women that found that out themselves. This even helps my example on that modesty trait where they don't want to offend the other person so you price yourself lower than your worth.
You want to see those traits every now and then? Lol, not 'every now and then' but every darn time.

coogar:
that's just nature!
naija babes themselves desperately want to marry.



lemme read this.....




it's simply nature.
it would be the same if men get pregnant.

Lemme give you an an example. My mentor in university, an older white woman with a doctorate, certified in her field, collaborated with a fellow male scientist. She did most of the work, it was her idea, it went well. She happened to get his resume, you needed to see what he wrote, you would think he was the principal investigator with the way he exaggerated his role in the research project. Who do you think would get hired? Who do you think would be paid more? Nobody told her to go and redo her own resume. Why did she tell me this? She said she noticed that girls are socialized to be modest - the quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one's abilities. Which I definitely agreed to. Now modesty is not bad, but never carry it into your life ambitions. But you find out girls carry that trait into situations that require Assertiveness, doggedness, which we socialize boys to have. And girls who understand this dynamic like my humble self are demonized for having assertive traits.

ApexTitan:
Several questions for you:

Maybe I missed it somewhere but how did you arrive at this conclusion that Nigerian women have the same rates of representation in STEM as their Western counterparts?

Yeah you missed it. I posted it on the first or second page. Look for it. Nigerian women roughly have the same rates as Western women

What misogynistic factors prevents girls in Nigeria from entering STEM. (Any lady who didn't study STEM reading this thread is free to answer this one)

The premise of my argument between TV01 and I, was not about entering the STEM but about the girl child completing it. This would help push our numbers up. At the moment, our drop out rates are high. And one of the factors that limits the girl child are familial circumstances and sexist tendencies like this.

https://www.nairaland.com/2251479/why-modern-woman-sad

Why aim high, when you should be aiming to be a wife?

Are you seriously standing by your assertion that women in the West are lazy and that's why they are under-represented in STEM? Is there any real basis for this assertion?

It is not an assertion. It is an opinion considering the pace at which their foremothers started on, Western women should be doing better.

coogar:
i am already standing on the road
there's no marginalisation in nigeria....women are constantly encouraged to read as far as they can go.

Lol, but not at the detriment of her being husband-less...we don't want her to read 'too much' you know. Again limiting psychological factors.

Evidence number 1- women are sad because we are not doing home-economics, and trying to 'compete' with men, lmao.

https://www.nairaland.com/2251479/why-modern-woman-sad

coogar:
women should be educated - contrary to what you think, every man desires a woman that can present mentally-stimulating points in an argument. however, if she desires to marry & raise rugrats, her career needs to pause till those kids make it to high school(at the very least). it's the most ideal method to nourish the kids.

Shouldn't the removal of these 'limiting' factors raise the statistics of women in STEM? Why aim high in the grand scheme of things?

coogar:
economic, social & misogynistic factors in nigeria? i put it to you that women are even more favoured than men in nigeria.

Oh dear, you really want to go down that road with me?

coogar:
even in the countries where such is non-existent, women are still found wanting. only 9% of all british engineers are females. are the females there also discouraged from going further in their career?

when are you actually going to admit that nature limits the women & it's got nothing to do with marginalisation or misogynistic culture? more females actually study these STEM courses but they soon abandon it for a less mentally tasking roles.

Oh please, read from the beginning of my arguments. Nigerian girls roughly show to have the same rates of women in STEM despite our economic, social and misogynistic factors. It suffices to say that if these factors are taken out, Nigerian women would beat their Western counterparts.

bukatyne:
The truth is people are opposing him because he opened a thread for it in 'peace times'

Let a woman open a thread that her husband constantly cheats on her... most of the advices would be 'pray more', 'get closer to him', 'cook fresh fish', 'save your home' etc.

How is it any different from what the OP is saying?

Isn't 'a wise woman builds her home' a popular verse of the Bible?

So what really is the OP saying that is different from what is obtainable?

Hahahahahahaha!

A man claiming to be what he's not to get into the pants of women...
Oh dear...the world has come to an end. *rolls eyes*

bellong:
You may not be far from the truth. The reason why there are more females in the biological and medical sciences is because they believe it is about reading and "pouring. To most of them, it doesn't require intensive mathematical exercise and modeling.

Naa, the top paying jobs are in the medical field.

TV01:
Based on sound data, real life dynamics and mutually acceptable outcomes that lead to flourishing for all. You are using what at best is a blinkered ideology to justify what will be costly and counter-productive social engineering.


Firstly, your hypothesis is clearly faulty ! Secondly, your underlying assumption that most Nigerian girls arer STEM material is seriously flawed - not even most/many men are. Thirdly, nobody "limits" Nigerian girls - if they really want it - "and are capable" - it's there for the taking. Sounding like the only reason Nigerian girls eschew STEM is because they are actively discouraged . Any limitations are likely from girls or women anyway.


Such will be minimal and are probably decreasing. The real cause is the choice of women themselves. End of.


TV

So, you arrived at faulty hypothesis without carrying out an experiment to prove my hypothesis is faulty? Mr. man you can do better. All you had to say was ok, let's carry out this experiment on Naija girls. And this is simply a rate reaction , we would see an increase of girls in the STEM, if we decrease familial factors that hinders females. Are we going to deny that Nigerian girls are psychologically discouraged from going further in their endeavors but aspire to be wives first, defined by a husband? So why would a girl go into STEM, when your aspirations should be home economics . Boys are encouraged to be providers hence the doggedness to take financially rewarding courses of which a career in STEM stereotypically insinuates. There were a lot of 'last-carrying' boys in my class who should have just respected themselves and gone to less-tasking courses . Take away these limiting factors and let's see if the percentage of Nigerian women in STEM would not increase. Simple.

Lmao, a Nigerian atheist...don't know why I always find that funny.

aaronson:
Well I know few on a certain facebook atheist page I follow and I also know a handful of them here on nairaland, one time I got one to add me up on bbm, just for us to think alike, she was really on my intelligent level and fun to chat with, but I realized atheist ladies don't come out openly as much as the male because of the already indoctrinated viral minds of Nigerians at large which their potential husband is among and talking anti-god publicly might get them in an unfortunate position of not getting married.
For example---can an intelligent and smart atheist lady get married to that delude dude above my comment with the thrash he put out, without them not having religion issues? So that's why them ladies try to be conservative with their religious thought.

I find this absurd as much as Tufanja does. Why should a smart and intelligent woman be worried about if she can select a husband from a populace that don't believes in what she believes in? I would expect she seeks a partner from like-minded persons i.e. atheists. Besides, shouldn't the statistics at this rate favor her considering female atheists being few compared to the males?

The same way you have freedom of speech, is the same way they have theirs.

theDEVILisHERE:
IMHO
Any igbo person that does not support the current Biafran struggle is a fool

The bigger fool is the one who would follow a cause without appropriately analyzing the situation.

pazienza:
Why should Kanu's demand for Biafra independence pose a risk for Ndiigbo. From who is this risk coming from.

Where was the conference that Igboland should be part of Nigeria made? When did our ancestors vote to be part of a zoological republic? Where was such consensus reached? Atleast we all know that our fore runners voted for Biafra and wrote the history of Biafra with their blood in battle fields.


You believe that genocide on Ndiigbo was a justifiable reason for Biafra secession in the 60's, what if I tell you that other Nigerians believe that there was no reason for Biafra declaration by Ojukwu, what if I tell you that they believe that no genocide was metted on Biafrans , they have that conviction while still vowing to do worst than Genocide should we attempt to secede again.

Do you wish to share same country with people whose hands are stained with the Blood of your fore runners who show no remorse whatsoever for their actions but keeps threatening to do worst in the future?
If you do, then you need your head examined.

Can you list the so called tribal bigotry that Kanu is guilty of.

Your Hutsi/Tutsi example is flawed, as neither Tutsi nor Hutsi were fighting for independence, instead they were fighting for dominance over each other. Biafrans are not desiring to dominate any group. A better example for the Biafran situation should be Spain-Catalonia.

What are those steps you think should have been taken before the mobilization and 're awakening of our People via both mass and print Media? List them out for other Biafrans to see, and tell us how far you have worked towards such a plan.

First let me make clear that I am not against dissolving Nigeria, but not under an Nnamdi Kanu.
1) You can fight for secession without instigating other tribes in your speeches. Study Scotland and their strive for independence.First steps that should have been taken- have an Igbo conference, every clan represented and decide among yourselves if you really want this.
2) The Hutu/Tutsi is apt, because Nnamdi Kanu's methods incites the illiterate Igbo population to take up arms just like the case of Rwanda. A while ago, we see a group pf biafran adherents going to the statehouse with cutlasses to cause mayhem. Every group have an illiterate army that hang on to the words of a leader that feeds into his tribalistic, religious or racist leanings. The Northern population in Nigeria has that illiterate population a-plenty, that is why there is consistent bloodshed and violence in that region due to the mobilization of their illiterates. Also we see this dynamic in America, Donald Trump goes on a rant about Mexicans, we begin to see a group of White illiterates ganging up on Mexicans. Every leader should be wary of their mentally underdeveloped population, otherwise you would get nothing but bloodshed from that population that is devoid of reason.
3) History showed the biafran war was out of necessity and intellectuals agree. What i.diotic Nigerians think on the net or outside of it is of no use to me.
4) I did not ask to be part of Nigeria, neither did I ask to be part of biafra.

Every intellectual Igbo will never support this current push for Biafra under the auspices of an Nnamdi Kanu or his ilk. The premise for Biafra in the 60's was very substantial and out of necessity...there was a genocide on the Igbo.
Today's premise, not so much because when you look at the basis, it is more emotional than logical. There are certain steps that should have been taken before blowing hot air on radio stations. I find it queer that a group of people can wake up one morning to speak on behalf of Igbo people and go on a Biafra tirade. That is the most anti-Igbo thing I've ever seen for people that pose to be democratic in nature. Where was this consensus made? Was there an Igbo conference for an Nnamdi Kanu to rise up to start ranting on behalf of Igbo people? Also why can't the fight for secession be devoid of ethnic bigotry? Why the tribal stench of bigotry? You kill your arguments when you allow such emotional outbursts to get the better of you. More and more emotions than logic, and only an illiterate would feed into the ideology an Nnamdi Kanu is proposing. It is very important to note that Africa is blessed with a population of the mentally underdeveloped that seek out leaders who champion ideologies on the primitive fundamentals of ethnic bigotry. And when you incite the illiterate population (that their problem is as a result of a certain group), you see a Hutu/Tutsi event unravel in your hands. So every intellectual Igbo is wary when certain persons propose a secession.

Do I believe the federal government instituted policies to frustrate the Igbo after the war? Absolutely.
Do I believe Biafra-Nnamdi Kanu's approach is the answer? Absolutely not.
Does this mean I love Nigeria? Absolutely not.

But you have to do a risk assessment, and an Nnamdi Kanu and other agitators of war pose a greater risk to the Igbo people than Nigeria itself.

ApexTitan:
Women have grown lazy over the years? Kai, don't let those Scandinavian women, who in-spite of the strong push by their governments to enter STEM fields have refused to budge, hear you o.

It's wrong to even start with the premise that this under representation is wrong. This is just what it is. Simple.

Yeah I said it. They are lazy. Nigerian female rates despite our hindrances roughly match up with theirs. They had better go back to the drawing board.