₦airaland Forum

Richdad50:
What makes love go sour and sex between a once happy couple fade quickly? Nonetheless, no woman deserve this level of damage from a stronger sex. A happy Union does not start when you are in the marriage. It starts from your courtship. A lot of signs will tell you never to embark on this futility if it were never meant to be. You will feel it in your inside but your lust, desire, and thirst for escape will overrule your sense of judgement.

There are two kinds of Men; the Hunter and the Gardener. A Hunter goes for the biggest kill that if brought home, would swell his pride amongst his mates, acquire him some praises, which may last only but for a short time. No wonder a hunter will lie and wait patiently until he can aim accurately at his target. Afterwards, he takes his kill home, eat and destroy the meat to bones or carcass. You would never believe it was the same animal he layed patiently for hours, weeks, months or years only to get home and consume to bones. How he wrecks her life and strips her of every self esteem she ever had before marriage. Sad!
But a Gardener is patient with his flower. He prunes, trims and wait patiently till they grow to his desire. He never complains. He loves and never gives up hope on how beautiful and amazing the flower will come to be. A patient man who loves you regardless.

Dear Ladies, every man will depict his true nature in courtship but your thirst to settle down will never allow you to reason if he is a hunter or a gardener. Open the eyes of your mind and you will find beyond comprehension the truth that makes up a Man.

#Richdad

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Kylekent59:
Love is real.
This is what we call true love.

A foolish woman destroys her home.

AntiWailer:
He commited suicide because he was depressed.


he did not do that because of anybody.


The lesson you all should learn is to stop thinking and thinking and thinking until u cross to that depression stage.

Once you cross that stage, suicide thoughts are natural and there will always be a reason to end it.

Any stupid thing can trigger it.

If u think he killed himself because of this woman then u need to have a rethink.

He is a DJ, girl’s rush them, they dnt rush girls.


Depression is real. Help yourself so u dnt get into it.

No matter what you are going through today , there is plenty hope tommorow.

Depression is a very bad state to find yourself in.It zaps energy to the brim.I think we should all work on what we say or do to people.

Sellfish:
Wise men maintain girlfriends who are a stepping stone to success

Some girls have so much luck following them that you cant fvck them and remain poor....

Some girls come from families who can lift a nigga up if they mean to...


It all finally boils down to backing the right horse












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You are right.Some people have good lucks in them.

SweetJoystick:
E be like say dem still dey mad or dem just recreate this picture cos na the same order them dey when dem dey mad them snap this new one.

Lol.Before and after pics

Rest in peace

IamD18:
People ask and pretend like they care about you, while deep inside them, they hope to get a bad news from you.

Exactly

Fierce11:
Lmao.. Its crazy that you can't see the pun in my comment.. But negative energy? Lmao.. That's so dumb please..
Smh

Get off my post with your intended pun.You are still a negative energy.

EfemenaXY:
Divorce. Divorce. Divorce.

Divorce isn’t always the answer to marital problems and should never be taken lightly especially when there are children involved.

This should only ever be the last resort if all else has failed.

Besides, there’s always three sides to every story:

~ His side
~ Her side
~ The truth

Based purely on your side of the story, you need to do some serious soul searching and ask yourself why your wife changed overnight.

The first few years of marriage are the honeymoon stage. You courted this woman for 11 months. That’s quite a while to have studied her. There is no way a person can keep up the pretence for 11 long months (unless yours was a long distance relationship?). There must have been red flags. You just chose to ignore them.

Nonetheless, there HAS to be a reason why she’s suddenly turned 360^os on you. Obviously there appears to be:

1. An emotional black hole in your relationship. The ex turning up is a symptom of the underlying issues with your marriage. A woman would only turn to an ex or another man if her emotional needs aren’t being met. For example when discussing with your wife, do you seek her opinion / input or do you wave aside her views? Do you say “Thank you” to make her feel appreciated when she gives / does something you are a recipient of? What is your sex life like with her? Do you take the time to satisfy her needs? Or is it all about you, you, and you? Is life with you one endless boring routine? Or do you make efforts to spice it up?

2. Trust Issues. When a wife starts stashing away huge sums of cash in secret, it means she’s preparing a nest egg for herself and her kids without you in the picture. Most times this action arises from betrayal or if she perceives you to have betrayed her. Have you ever cheated on her? Or done something to make her feel insecure in your union?

3. Immaturity. A refusal to acknowledge one’s fault / mistake and apologise accordingly is usually down to misplaced pride and immaturity. Wisdom comes with age. How old is your wife?

For a marriage to work, both parties have to roll up their sleeves and get stuck in. You have to ask yourself if there’s any part of you that wants to salvage the marriage. If you do, then you need to ask your wife if she’s still interested in the marriage too.

If the answer is “yes” from both of you, then both of you need to make the effort to save it. Start by seeking help from a neutral third party such as a marriage counsellor. Book a couple of sessions with them so you and wifey can talk through your issues.

Your problems didn’t start today. They’ve festered for over four years so you need to be patient and not expect everything to be miraculously resolved in one day. A lot of patience, perseverance, and constant communication will be needed to get your relationship back to a healthy state.

It is well.

A very good one.Only if both are matured enough to know all these.

demelza:
To hook a Nigerian man is very easy.

Simply pretend and act humble.

Be the first to apologise.

Kneel down and give him food.

In fact, pretend to be submissive

Before you know, you don marry.


@Op, sorry o!
Get a lawyer to help.

Am telling you.If you become yourself,they would think you are not or won't be submissive.I like to be myself and openly express myself to my lover.Not all this lifestyle of pretence.

Fierce11:
Lol.. I do not believe this at all..

I don't care what you believe and how you do.I knowledge myself and what I can do.I don't need negative energy this 2019.Am all positive.Bye Mr Fierce the quoter.

bantudra:
but they should keep in mind that this is desertation....they will be court marshalled....!!

you just dont leave your post and run....

you can retreat to the next line,but you cant just run away....

My uncle resigned He is still alive.His friends are long dead.

Timil:
So she aborted a pregnancy because of birth defects when some people who have been without child for years are even praying to God that even if its an imbécile they should just give birth to one.

Her second reason is a flimsy excuse to abort a pregnancy it doesn't sound reasonable at all, why would any woman abort a pregnancy because she and her husband aren't on good terms.

No matter the kind of quarrel between them being pregnant alone is enough to end it we are talking of a child here.

From my own view the only reason why a woman would get pregnant and still go ahead to the abort it without informing her hubby, who she already has the vow of "Always and Forever" with is due to the fact that she was having an extra marital affair during the time she and her hubby were feuding and in the process she got the pregnant for another man.

So to save her marriage from crashing as well as save herself from disgrace the best option for her was to abort it, I may be wrong I may be right but there's a a greater possibility that your cousin doesn't own the aborted pregnancy.

Your cousin should let sleeping dogs lie if love still exist between them because as it stands now the level of trust between them is either broken or reduced but if love no longer exist then that marriage may be heading for the rocks but either ways your cousin needs God's guidance to see this through.

Am with you.

ValCon888:
Its really horrible for her to carry out such an act without her husband's knowledge.

But the totality of the act is not enough for the marriage to crash - if he still loves her. After all, they can always have another kid.

But if he does not love her or want the marriage again, the act is serious enough for him to use as an excuse to start seeing other women.

If a man does not want you, even putting excess salt in his soup is enough reason for him to collapse the marriage .

I will go with you

Johnbosco1:
Wonderful piece by OP, if I may...

One of the greatest reasons why we have broken homes I must say, is LACK OF TOLERANCE AND PASSION TO BECOME EVEN that is so prevalent amongst mothers. It has become a Pandora's box with cans of Worm inside that is so much eating up marriages and it seems everyone has failed to comprehend it.

Besides the terrible state of our country which I believe contributes to the rate of broken marriages, mothers on the other hand, seem to have forgotten how important they are to their Children. They have neglected the most important bond on earth, "mothers-child-bond".

While I was growing up, I could point out so many irresponsible men that have had successful marriage because of the breed of awesome women(wives) they had. But today, the so called "responsible men" are not making it to a successful five years in marriage, let alone the irresponsible ones. But why is that?

I spoke to a lady who the husband had accused of cheating and her response to me was in the light of this "yes he cheated on me with my best friend and I felt the need to become even, so I cheated on him with his best friend too". What the heck! What's even more annoying, was that she had with her, their four and six year old kids who were being cuddled by their father while she explained her part of the story to me. I was speechless. I felt ashamed, not to talk more, disturbed. This experience made me rethink in a heartbeat about those days as a child when I watched Mom and Dad argue(never about cheating) and I felt that Dad was always at fault, that there was no shred of guilt, whatsoever on mom. Was my discernment really fair on Dad at those moments? Or was I being sentimental because of this "mother-child-bond" that binds Mom and all of my Siblings together? Whether or not these were the right thoughts at that point in time was not my problem.

While the behaviors of the parents have an impact on their child(ren), mothers however have been known to have the greatest impact. In fact, a family without a mother has had a hugh vacuum no one would ever fill for a very long time if not forever. Children tend to capitalize and act more on their mother's behavior so easily than they will with their father.

Irresponsibility among fathers have always been but what we see now is nothing close to being irresponsible. They are pure "proud fakeass efekefe ungrateful yawoyawo overstylish fathers" who find it so hard to say "thank you" to their wives after eating a meal prepared by them.

It pains me so much when I see many cute couples' pre-wedding and wedding photos on Nairaland/others just to realize that they may not live up to those "early love, trust, happiness and vow". Weeping.... Someone please get me a hanky...hmmmm....wiping my nose, then eyes....

I am sad. I sometimes feel scared of what the future holds. Should I remain single? Should I join the click of men that are producing "babymamas upandown"? No way! I love kids and I can't stand the thought of them not enjoying both their parents simultaneously like I did. I still do. And if my Mum and Dad can do it, I sure as hail can do it, even better.

If you are reading this, this is challenge to you. Others have failed doesn't mean yours will. You can do better. You are far better than them. I wish us courage, real love, trust, "our significant rib". I wish us well.


PS. LETTER TO MY DEAR FUTURE WIFE!!!

Dear future wife,

If you are reading this, I promise to give you all the love and attention in the world that I can give plus 100% of my vow.

Please kindly cross my path IF you are ready to give all to me

Yours future Hubby,
Johnbosco

Good one

JamaicanLove:
Like wise



I am so scared of commitment.


Waking up and seeing one man's face for the rest of my life.


Will have to put up with some bull shít, all in the name of getting married


All I want is, adopt kids and be happy.


No time to stress.

That's why you have to pray so as to marry your own.The burden won't be so much to carry.

Bouncingbabyboy:
being fat 2 me is sinful

She can still reduce in size.

I travelled for my leave.

PrimadonnaO:
My university coursemates would not even contribute 500 naira for a fellow ex-course mate's wedding.

No.Our union is working.We even have branches in different states lol.

Richdad50:
A good friend is like an old fine wine. When you both see after a long time of not keeping in touch, it is stress free as though there was never a communication gap.

Campus and workplace friends should not be considered as very close friends but if you must do, you should be careful. They are often there because you both share a common interest. The moment you are graduated or off the work you will see a significant drop in status of relationship.

The best friends you can ever have and must maintain are your secondary school and childhood friends (good guys). They never slip away but stay through life because they knew you before we all knew the phenomenom of 'common interest'. No wonder most alumi that survives are never campus/workplace but Secondary/Primary schools.

#Richdad

Yeah.My secondary school mates attend weddings and events for every member.They contribute at least 2k( Minimum amount)for every event

SmellingAnus:
you may not believe it but the answer you gave has won something in my heart... I wish to have someone that has this part of you.... Is this your main or what is the name of your alternate

This is my main.I AM SWEETILICIOUS.

Marriage is not always the way we see it as singles.

SmellingAnus:
Many folks that a divorced today didn't know on their wedding day that a day will come when they will be divorced so also it's with many women that cheat on their husbands, they thought they would always be faithful to their spouse... Anyway, you have made a statement, so it's left for you to see if you can keep to it... I have a question for you...

Have you ever deleted the phone number of your boy friend before while convincing yourself that you will never store it again in your phone but you ended up adding it again to your contacts

Like I said,I will stay faithful no matter what if am tied to one person.Am not foolish.I just pray God gives me my own that is meant for me.I believe every other thing will fall in place.
Coming to your question,my answer is no.If we are having issues,I don't go that extreme.Even pictures that I loose breaks my heart because they are my memory.I can only delete him if he dumps me.The truth is that you can't keep pictures of someone that doesn't want you.It will torment your peace of mind.And I want to be of sound mind every time.I store those pictures but I won't look at them to avoid depression.

ikhileomotayo:
Well it depends on the type of wife he has. Some women know how to save and plan better than some men. If you are lucky to have such a woman as a wife then count yourself blessed as you have a financial adviser there. If his wife is one of such women, then he should absolutely tell her.

On the otherhand, if the wife is a slay queen or these owambe type of women, then the guy should keep shut

Exactly

SmellingAnus:
you mean you are sure she is innocent

Why will she not be?

SmellingAnus:
I still remember in my two hundred level when my Psychology lecturer being a married man said... " Any man that thinks his wife cannot cheat on him it's a stupid man.." Although I know some women may end up being faithful but in the book of experience chapter 4 vs 1, any woman can cheat it's just that some may decide not to cheat and still not cheat...

I will stay faithful.

SaucyBenks:
She asked to visit me yesterday and believe me, I accepted her visitation after telling my girlfriend about it... (my girlfriend trusts and loves me too much).

Well, my gf visited her family for the celebrations so permitted me to allow her visit without even sounding shaky or insecure or vexed that another lady is visiting me... I was happy and asked Abigail to come over.

When she arrived, there was no fuel in my generator and being that it's the first time she's visiting, I wanted to make it fun for her. So I told Abigail to gimme 20mins to go get some fuel for my generator and she said "OK BUT I SHOULDNT FORGET TO BUY CONDOMS" I honestly didn't think of sex in the first place, so I asked her TO BE USED BY WHO? (with a straight face) then she laughed out loud and replied I WAS JOKING JOOR, GET GOING hmm... This is what I've not been able to put my mind off... What do you think she meant? Should I take anything she said serious?

You will not stay one place now until you give your innocent girlfriend STDs

ubunja:
not without my breast... give me

Am done.And I won't reply you again

ubunja:
I tasted that one already. I want yours.

Go away Mbok

Lordofthewest:
Smh....I wonder which militant group they'd form ten years from now when everyone in the world starts using electric cars and no one buys oil from Nigeria anymore.Everybody will be alright las las

Artificial intelligence is taking over

humblespirit:
I strongly believe something led to the utterance:You are the father of the Children but if you are not playing ur role well she has to look for a dad for them.

Totally unacceptable. You don't threaten your husband with such if you don't mean it.

kolnel:
lol

Marriage is about two people who decided to defy all odds and stay together no matter what

But when the wife starts fornicating, the marriage takes a new dimension

Marriage is over hyped

Why should the man pay monthly fees if she was the one that cheated without shame.Is it how it is done?