₦airaland Forum

All this woke Nigerians living in the UK, insulting the same system that aided them to move abroad. You think cos you speak English and live in the UK all of a sudden you guys are the most intelligent beings in earth? Anything done in excess is bad, flogging in moderation to instill discipline is OK. If that boy refuses to learn and tomorrow becomes a vagabond and criminal, the same UK government will jail him. The same Europeans we adore, less than 300 years ago were exactly like us. They did the same thing that we are doing. Family laws changed in the West in the 19th century, it's not as if that's how they have been since time immemorial. And a lot if Africans still suffer from post-colonial inferiority complex, where everything European is perfect and everything African is evil.

sisisioge:
Hmmmm....if he is really wealthy and thought it's a good idea for us to have that upfront, by all means we would. However, the terms will be reviewed and where applicable countered by my lawyer. I will not agree to XYZ amount, rather I will be gunning for % of assets and wealth. By the time I am done with the counter terms, uncle will not be interested in marriage or prenup again. All is fair in Love and war....if you're thinking forever,you dont bring "should in case" into it biko.

Do you think that the people who got divorced planned it on their wedding day? Every couple that gets married does so with intention to be together for life bit shit happens. So it's better to be on the safer side. Women who have all their needs taken care of have nothing to lose.

tradepunter:
Mumu man you are never home and you angry your wife is close to your mom..... If like continue your stupidity nah another man go dy shine her congo.... Rubbish

Why all these insults? Just shows how shallow you are

First things first, why can't some people here just advise someone without name calling or defamation of character. Secondly op, you did the right thing. No man likes to be undermined or left in the dark about his home affairs. Mumsy will understand, and call her to say hello or visit her as if nothing happened. Life continues. And for those saying he should be glad that it is his mum, before nko? That's why I like oyibo, once they get married, everybody else is a stranger to them, including their own parents and siblings.

All these boys that like commenting anyhow. Wetin be una problem? If you understand developmental psychology and juvenile delinquency, then you will know what she is saying. Because of poverty in Africa, all we think is that money solves everything. Just throw money at any problem and it will go away. Nothing beats personal interaction and modeling. Everyone needs strong moral guidance

kindlyheart:
you can't compare robbery to prostitution. prostitution is transactional while robbery is not.

They are both crimes. Prostitution is crime against public sanity while robbery is a violent and property crime. I didn’t make the rules. And I agree that we are all going to have our own subjective ethics about things. But the law is above personal convictions. But laws vary from place to place, homosexuality is legal in some places but illegal in others. Same with smoking marijuana, legal in some places but illegal in others. Morality is different from legality.

kindlyheart:
... I see nothing wrong with fucking an adult for money. at least you don't need to meddle with someone else emotions and psychological well-being just too relief yourself. even the law enforcement guys patronize them far more than regular citizens.

Same way someone sees nothing wrong in robbing you of your possessions. And very few guys are players and they are not role models

kindlyheart:
everybody is claiming as if they don't patronize them. I dare not talk bad about them cause that's the only way I have been able to have sex 4 times this year. if a girl is of sex legal age, she can do what so ever she pleases with her body and if a man can afford to pay them for sex, I see nothing wrong with that.

Guy prostitution is illegal and it’s a crime in Nigerian law. Just because people are not arrested doesn’t make it cool. Go the US and patronize an undercover cop as a prostitute and see if you won’t go to jail. Or have sex with a minor and see how your life will change forever. So no talk abeg. When I was a lil boy, we used to see people who smoke Igbo as if they were harden criminals but now even primary school boys dey smoke

This is one of the reasons Italy and so many far right movements in Europe don’t want to accept refugees. You leave your country where you could practice your religion as you like but want to commit terrorist crimes in another country. Tomorrow they would be the ones shouting Islamophobia. Indians, Koreans and other non-Muslim Asians integrate without qualms. But not Muslims who feel that their religion is superior to everybody’s way of life. The hatred for Jews and Christians is ingrained into their blood. If America was a Muslim dominated country with all the nuclear arsenals they possess, all of us would have died. They would kill us all or forcefully convert everyone or make us pay taxes

First things first, all these igbo guys who like claiming that just because you paid bride price, you must accept a child born into your house. Not everyone is igbo abeg, that's why a lot of you people are in scams called marriage because of tradition. It's like say una dey fear women. No matter how much I spent on a woman if she deceives/cheats on me I will divorce her, period. The thing tire me oo, eh. How come say ex don come dey get levels like this? Why you no kuku marry your ex? I will never give my parents or my property to a bastard whose father is somewhere laughing at me. As women no dey spend money for relationship, why dem no go do bullshit. They have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Which one come be goodbye sex again? To carry good mind for these generation con make person mumu. Because of woman, one idiot wey no reach my level go con dey make mockery of me. Na wa ooh. Thank God sef I never marry or born pikin, any babe wey I go marry I go tell am my mind. I will never force you to marry me, but please if you know say na yeye mind you carry come, know say me sef na werey. I will embarrass you, your family go chop better insult because of you. Shame no dey catch me, I no fit die because of heartbreak or woman matter

slivertongue:
Meddlesome Interlopers don't end well.

Your guy didn't marry her and can't claim the child.

Your guy can't get custody of the love child cos he is not responsible, infact his past may coming hunting him.

Fatherhood is beyond donating sperm to a woman, it means taking responsibility from pregnancy to childbirth and beyond.

The lady involved has little to lose as she has two others who am sure is her hubby's. Three kids ain't like sipping garri &kulikuli.

Op, becareful because the lady may hit you before you destroy her home &her child's happiness. Women may look weak but don't allow the wrath of their weakness hit you cos you may never live to tell the outcome. They can go any length when pushed....

She should kill him and see if she won't go to jail. Is it only women who have evil mind? If that guy files for paternity in court and it turns out to be his child nobody will dispute it. People get divorced everyday for various reasons. A biological father always will have rights unless he forfitts it. Women nowadays divorce their husbands for cheating, but a man should keep a woman's secret? Weak men every where

pqmeup:
Please just stay out of this issue and mind
your business. Mind you this is a happy home you're about destroying.

Happy home built on deceit..how do you think the family of the husband will react if they knew about this? Some people run away from the truth becomes it might hurt, they prefer lies because it is comforting. Some of us prefer the truth regardless of how it hurts.

1stGenAmerican:
Marathon sex guarantees paternity? What if they were having marathon sex after she was already pregnant?

"I asked him what was wrong and he opened up to me that the girl is pregnant and they have tried to abort the baby to no avail. Ha... So wetin wan play like this? He said the girl and her mum had already planned to pin the pregnancy on the working guy's head" That's a quote from the post. They both knew and even tried to abort it to no avail. I hate it when a girl gets pregnant she pins it on the guy who is more financially stable. Is that not fraud? How do people get pregnant is it not through sex?

1stGenAmerican:
How do you know that he isn’t the father? Because she looks like the friend doesn’t mean anything.

Did you read where the op said his friend was having marathon sex with the girl? If the family of the guy knows that they might be doubt about the true paternity of the frist child, do you think they would turn a blind eye? Seeing how girls support bullshit makes me very resolute that if any woman, wife or girlfriend claims to have a child for me, I will conduct a DNA test just to be sure. I will never let such happen to me

Something similar has happened in my family, true story. All those saying he should mind his business or talk about breaking up the family don't know what they are saying. A deceitful woman deserves no pity at all. If that oil guy loses his job and becomes broke, she will insult him and tell him herself during a fight. My late uncle's ex wife did the same. Family wey go scatter will scatter. No woman will support her brother or son to still stay with a woman like that. They will do anything to maintain a life of pleasure and leisure. Lie, kill and deceive as long as it favours them.

She has 4 kids from 4 different men, imagine. I don’t understand why the female gender don’t take accountability and responsibility seriously. That’s why I don’t agree to date single mothers for these same reason. Let her not accuse me of treating her other kids differently from mine. No born pikin for one man and expect say another man go take care of am. As a woman you will naturally love your kids, but don’t expect other people too. That’s life, know who you have kids with

Islandlady:
How old are you?

I asked because you wants a serious relationship with a 19years old girl A girl that is still very young & naive! A girl that is not emotionally and morally ready for a serious relationship or marriage!

Kindly leave that girl and go look for a very mature woman for a serious relationship to protect your mental health, becos your crying just dey start tho!

You see this your talk eh is the down fall of so many girls. 19 is too young to know what is good for her abi? That’s how I did that with my ex, she was about 19 and I was 23 in 2015. Today she is a baby mama, bres don fall and I no reason her again despite the cries and pleas. You see why guys don’t take older ladies seriously and call them evening newspaper? She is sleeping with a man her father’s age at 19, but by the time she is 26 and above she will look for that same guy to give her the serious attention she never took seriously. Emotionally matured is when you are tired of fucking? See why guys turn to Bleep boys?

Cheap fame no be here. She was used for a photoshoot by TY Bello and in a music video with Tinnie Tempah (nigerian-born British rapper) Next tin, e cause wahala for her family. She and her husband start to get issues, saying he wants to control her. Naija feminists blast the guy on SM saying why didn’t he marry her before she achieved fame and that she was too good for him. Na so dem separate. Big men use am catch cruise b4 relegating her into oblivion. Fame and money dey sabi cause wahala no be small. And all this big bosses in the entertainment industry must use you flex if not nobody go dey hear you

Chai, my momsy fit to this kin tin if to say i be girl. Its for her good though. One day she will understand

I always tell my fiancé to be careful of whatever she do even behind my back because someone who is jealous of you can blackmail or expose you. They can use your past to destroy you. Why will you make a sextape with someone who you are not married to? Everybody has a past but some past is too much. Nothing is hidden under the sun, one day breeze go blow and chicken nash go expose. That’s why some women will kill to hide their secrets. You behave anyhow because you are young and then pretend to be an innocent angel for your husband.

Men will always feel that they have free will to cheat because they are the financial backbones of their homes. But some women nowadays feel they should get sexual satisfaction from elsewhere if their husbands don’t meet up. But they won’t ask for a divorce because they then will lose the financial security and social status that comes with marriage. And i know one thing in life which is that men use women and women use men. The only thing is that in your own relationship or marriage who is using who. That’s why i can never let any woman make me feel like i am the one solely responsible for her financial upkeep, not when if i can cheat, you can do it as well. Take care of yourself as well

See its rather unfortunate that we as africans judge and stereotype people based on physical appearance. Most of our police men are illiterates who don’t know a thing about law enforcement in the 21th century. So the AGF that stole 80billon has tattoos abi? We keep focusing on the wrong things, all those forming holy holy na dem repent? When i leave this shithole of country to do my phd abroad, first thing i will do is to get a tattoo. When i come back as a phd holder come arrest me say i be tout. Nigeria is not the whole world, more than 5 of the richest pastors in the world are Nigerians but our international image is in shambles.

If her daughter gets pregnant too out of wedlock make she no vex oooh.

For their selfish interests, millions of students are stuck at home and their academic futures left in limbo. Extending our year of graduation and hence our career opportunities in jeopardy. Na God go judge everybody wey try mess with my future. God pass them

For all the members of this gang, na only one person senior me. Chai, see weapons oooh. Them get mind no be small

Bobmarie:
The only thing I have to tell you is that life is not always described it because you witness it in you compound everyday. Both you and I would not agree to a sister or daughter getting married at such a young age because she is a baby, a girl that young doesn’t have any business being a wife or a mother except for poverty. Hence the problems this man who claims to now have financial problems is facing.

It is hypocritical to not see this man as a predator who preys on young girls and will use money as a weapon to influence them. You would not let him ten feet near your daughter. So spare me the consent of her parents or what her parents know. She is the property of the state, they have no right to sell her. In a sane country, they should also be facing charges.

P.S I assure you, no literate non virgin woman feels self conscious about a man who has narrowed women down to an object, basing her character on what she has done with her private parts. You must be dreaming if you think some of us are bothered about such imbecilic talk.

Did you not see where i wrote that if she doesn’t want the marriage she could have gone back to her parents? She is nowhere to be found, she eloped with some guy to God knows where. And all of you are focused on what has happened already. You guys just use terminologies from American media outlets and throw it around. How is he a sexual predator, according to Wikipedia: “ A sexual predator is a person seen as obtaining or trying to obtain sexual contact with another person in a metaphorically "predatory" or abusive manner. Analogous to how a predator hunts down its prey, so the sexual predator is thought to "hunt" for his or her sex partners.[1] People who commit sex crimes, such as rape or child sexual abuse, are commonly referred to as sexual predators, particularly in tabloid media or as a power phrase by politicians.[2]” Stop the feminist utopia, the world is a dangerous place. She is 19 now and an adult by law. The deed has been done already, but eloping with some young boys will not change the past. Is it not sex she still will be having the guy she eloped with. Focus on how she might put herself in danger and free the woke stuffs. This is Africa and not America, if anything happens to her what will you do? In a sane world will the girl killed and burnt in Sokoto, will that have happened? If you girls are not more concerned about where she is right now and her safety then you are the one dreaming. And one thing that makes me laugh in the generation is that its ok to have sex, get pregnant or have an abortion as a teenager. But grotesque to get married as a teenager. The youngest grandmother in the UK is 30 years old, she gave birth at 15 and her daughter gave birth at 14. But if it was marriage with an older man then its a taboo. What basis do you make this value judgment. Everybody has the stereotype that early marriage is hellish for women, but bleeping around is not?

Bobmarie:
You can let your sisters get married to a man at 16?

It’s men like you that will want to mess up little girl’s lives with sex because of your selfish intentions. You grew up and enjoyed your youth but you don’t want to allow someone’s sister to do the same.

It is also men like you that will almost kill their young sisters if they find out she has a boyfriend.

I know what happens when you post something on social media, people will pick only what they want to see and forget the rest. Read the post again, her parents know that she is married to the op. Shey you know more than her parents abi? Like i said the deed has been done already. But running away and leaving her child to follow her boyfriend, how does that make things better? Thats my own. You can’t change the past. The op messed up when he made it seem like he married her only because she was a virgin, thus making making other women who as not virgins feel self-conscious. I have lived in a place where most of my neighbours were yahoo boys, i see what they do to their girlfriends who ran away from their parents home to live with them. When the trill of sex is over, that’s when things get crazy. I fear only for her safety, if she doesn’t want the marriage she can ask for a divorce and stay with her parents. Even matured women get divorced.

My problem with so many of the commenters here is that you all are focusing on what has been done already. Yes she probably got pregnant at 16 and got married. But how does she running away with some boys make things better? Is going around bleeping her age mates is that what you call freedom? In this era that people are used for money rituals every day. You people want to follow oyibo girls package of having multiple sexual partners and flings in the dear of exploring yourself? Hollywood fantasy have finished you people. I have a cousin that ran away from the house at 16 to live with her boyfriend. When her mates were writing WAEC she was collecting D, nobody saw her for 3 years. Now she has a son and has left the guy and is suffering. Youthful exuberance is not an excuse to mess up your life.

akinade28:
@bolded, How are you sure her parents didn't force her against her will to marry the OP? Is being a student in the university the same thing as being a wife and a mother? Does age mean she is mentally and emotionally ready for marriage?

But she can run away and follow boyfriend abi? She is not too young for that? By 18 years you are considered an adult, the age of consent in South America is 16. Some of our grandmothers married before 18. Whatever freedom she thinks she is looking for is an illusion. When those boys start dealing with her she will remember what she left behind. Hunger sabi reset brain no be today. A lot of young ladies that run away from their parents/husband home always regret it. She has not experienced hardship in life thats why. I know prostitutes in their 40s that will not mind to get married to any guy that can look beyond their pasts.

The op never raped her but married her. She was not forced and it was done with her parents consent as he clearly started. She is just naive and thinks she wants to flex but at some point she will regret it because that so called flexing will tire her when those small boys have starting beating her and hungry catch her. Nobody will tell her, she doesn’t want to learn the hand work again how will she survive on her own. Those saying she is a small girl, are her mates not in the university?