₦airaland Forum

cibilola: My prayer is that none of my kids will meet or get married to poster's kids (male or female). I am no feminist and I also firmly believe that my husband is the head of our home. I will bring up my kids to value and respect others and there shall be no favouritism whatsoever because one happens to be a girl and the other, a boy.

my kids n ur kids,well dats for God to decide. I am a married woman n my husband remains my head n will forever be my head but dat dosnt mean i am equal to him. If by chance i a man insults my integrity outside i sure will dish him wot he desrves n dat dosnt still mean i am equal to a man.tnk u

[quote author=peaceheartt][/quote]i tot d same. In life and with lots of experience i realise pple are not as bad as they appear.no matter how bad somepple maybe ,they still av a soft spot in them.

miss maybelline: Jus imagine a fully grown educated married man who has refused to get a job several years after NYSC, stil living in his family house wit his mum, brother & sis. All he wants to do is club, party, drink & smoke all around d neighbourhood. His aged mum stil fends 4 him & he also camps a girlfriend\ prostitute rite in his mother's house. Thou his wife stays in a different city looking after their child & has probably given up on him cos he has nothin to offer. He doesn't contribute 2 d upkeep of d child or his wife who thankfully is working. wat cud be more irresponsible than this? & believe me, dis is a true life story.

such man will die being irresponsible

ronkebp: I just want to know if the labour pain for the male children is different from the female, if the 9 months pregnancy normal months is different for both sexes If the female children came out through the armpits, and the male kids through the normal process?? And am asking only beacuse you said, your female kids are not equal to your male kids!!!

madam ronke. Every child birth is d same but male n female come with diffrent body parts which makes us unequal. Still women are called mothers of all nation and dat dosnt make us equal to men.

rokiatu: I don't understand this part. So you mean you raised your female children into believing that they are inferior to their male siblings?


My brain is cooking here.

pls dont get me wrong madam,am refering to women who believe they are equal to men,if they intend raising their female children as equal to thier brothers.

jennykadry: Good work. I can see you are trying to start something here but let me tell you that it is not in your place to judge or say what's right or wrong. I have never been a feminist and will never be one but do I have them as friends? yes and if you hear their stories and the reason why they believe in feminism, you won't be here posting things like this to get the thumbs up or gold medal from men on this forum. They have their reasons, some of have been through a lot, so stop this.

very funny jenny. U n i av ad our diffrences n i dont intend aving any arguments with u,so even if u insult me is ok by me,i once called u feminist,yes i know. Getting a gold medal from who? Men on nairaland? Never!! I already got alot of gold medal from my hubby. U are entitiled to ur own opinons as i am to mine. We are both matured married women and i dont expect u n i to act less dan dat. Tnx

Cassa: Nice thread.
Better than most of what is usually posted here.We have to talk to our childre when they are at a young age about the dangers of molestation and se.xual abuse,by trying to warn about the implications.I think it is easier when they are very young because once they get to their teens they will feel they knows it all.

very well said. D earlier we train our kids d better for us.

Impossible!! A Man & A Woman Can Never & Will Never Be Equal.

Many times, I have heard some women claiming equality with men. Its a sin and we cant reverse God words that A MAN IS THE HEAD OF A WOMAN. It is only an insane woman that will claim equality with her husband. No reason whatsoever makes us equal.

As mothers do we intend training our female children into believing they are equal to their brothers and the male they meet in life?

CArt: For real

yes o for real,happened to one opf my neibo while i was still living with my parents before i got married

Gaggi: This beats Kim Kardashian's 72 days marriage.lol. Let him divorce her. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

lol.

neyostica: weldone, iwo gbe ko ni tire, unlike some, anyway are u single?

single bawo,i get husband n pikin

Op stay with ur husband oo,if not for anytin but for ur kids,if u leave hom ur kids wunt forgive u. U are warned

cowgurl: Do our young married men have ulterior motives? Unlike their wives, why are most of them seen without their wedding bands/rings?

some men dont naturaly like jewelries while some men cant do without it. Besides it not d ring dat matters cos some men wear theirs n still act foolishly and some dont wear n are still responsible always.

andromida: Hello house, my friend is in shock. Her MIL to be asked her for money to process her visa. She wants to visit her daughter who lives there. My friend is in a dilemma to give or not to give, she is afraid the MIL to be may continue this pattern when she eventually marries her son at the same time she does not want the MIL to dislike her if she does not give her.

if it were me,i would give her if i av but i would make sure my spouce is aware of it n plead with him not to make a noise abt it,just btwn my spouse n i so mama dosnt get angry ova it.

peaceheartt: dearie, I think this thread is necessary, debrief has done well to bring this topic up as a way of calling ourselves to order. If you ask me, I think we really went overboard in the thread, "Seriously contemplating divorce" I'm new on NL and d very first impression that stuck is this attack and insults.


I've actually wondered on my own y anyone would want to attack the personality of someone u dont know from Adam. Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, lets respect that.

This thread is necessary i beg, just hoping that we will not end up turning it into another battle field cos im alreay sensing the arrows flying

very true.. I av also been insulted befor by....(i refuse to put names),although i gave mine back but at a point i ad to keep quite cos i felt WTF,, it dosnt speak well of me exchange words on air. Well am lookin foward to dis issue being resolved.

Richvkunt: OP,
When you play with fire,you are bound to get burned.When you found out this man was married you should have quit the relationship immediately.
I know lots of married men cheat on their wives but it takes two to tango,what do we say about single girls who discover they are dating married men and still continue with the relationship because of greed and to maintain a certain lifestyle.
While i do not pretend to have the answers to your problem I feel you still have to sit down with this guy and try to solve the problem on ground-The Baby.
I think your family has a role to play in this even if you can not marry the guy in question.
I would advise you in the mean time to start looking for a job so you can take care of your child.

u are very correct,for her sake i hope d man will av a little good heart left n listens to her but dat will b if she does it in d right way n not claiming any silly right make a fight of it.

@op a job will go a long way or go on ur knees and beg dis man to set up a small bizness for u,according to what u said dat u oversee all his bizness so he is dpin preety well. In ur own intrest dont try forcing him or fight or shout on him to do it o.tok to him in a humble n respectful manner else u go bak to square one.

ebose09: good morning to you all i actual started this trend in-other to get diverse advice on what to actual do..............
and i want young girls out there to learn from my own story,

i met a guy after some time we became close friends after been friends for almost a year we became lovers i spent must of my time in his place cos he has an apartment in festac.most of his business are overseen by me whenever he is not in town.
To my surprise he is married with 3kids and his family stays in ojo,from my investigation i got to find out that the excuse he always give his wife is that the traffic on the road does not allow in come home regularly and i did not know he goes home on weekends cos am not always around on weekends i go visit my family.when i live on friday,he also lives and before i get back on monday he is back.
To cut the long story short i was advised by some of my friends not to quite the relationship that i should enjoy it will it last since i will soon be graduating from school.but we started having issues constantly because i look for every opportunity to start away from him i now stay more in my hostel then in his apartment,i started cheating on him must time he finds out after much argument we settle again.
i found out that have come to love him so i was looking forward to my service which will enable me to stay away from him and
maybe latter forget about him and to enable me get into another relationship.After collecting my call up letter i was posted to abuja so i went headed to inform him that it over between us,all his effort to make me see reason while i should be his wife was falling on deaf ears.i went head and pack my things out of his apartment and moved down to camp.
only for me to discover that i was pregnant in camp for him,after informing him he asked me to go for an abortion since i said it over between us that he has move ahead even he gave his new girlfriend my number to call for me to no that he has moved ahead.all effort to terminate the pregnancy was invain so i decied to keep the baby after much fruitless effort to terminate.
we were able to talk things over and he told me that he wish i can abort it cos he did want me to feel tied to him so i can be free from him but since i cant abort we keep it.i begged him that i dont want my family to no am pregant so i will go to his village put to bed there then come back home to my family that i will cook up a story on how i came across a baby we both agreed on a plan.
only for him to say he cant go on with the plan when i was 7month gone,he insisted on informing my family which he went head and do,to his great surprise my family insisted that i cant marry a married man.

The problem now is he left the upkeep of the child to me alone insisting that if i want him to take responsibility i should move in with him,i know it is a way to get back at me ....................................
WHAT DO I DO......................cos am jobless and it not easy taking care of my girl alone, my family that insisted that i cant marry him, they are not helping with the child's upkeep,

u av brot dis mess on ur self so u av no choice dan to face d brunt. U should av left dat man wen u found out he as a wife n 3 kids, now are heavily pregnant n ur parents av refused ur marriage to him.its eida u live dat man n b a single mum to ur child untill u get a responsible man who would legally marry u n ur child or u go n beg ur parents n be a second wife to dat man,if u stay with him den remember he could live u anytime or av oda girlfrinds just as he did with u wen he ad 3kids n a wife already. Dat is far from responsible. D ball is in ur court,wish u a safe dilivery.

CArt: @OP
Never meant to be rude.
A man stealing money from his wife' purse is even worse

lol.
A man dat ties his wife up with rope n beats her with koboko untill she passes out and then lock his kids up in d other room so they dont get a chance to run out and call for help to save their mother.

CArt: @OP
Never meant to be rude.
A man stealing money from his wife' purse is even worse

lol.
A man dat ties his wife up with rope n beats her with koboko and thern lock his kids up in d other room so they dont get a chance to run out and call for help to save their mother.

andromida: Well poster most Nigerian men behave like your husband. Very possessive about their wives but feel they can stay out late with friends. You want to keep him?you have to get hooked on loads of patience, tolerance, keep looking sexy, dont nag, treat him like a king always. Nigerian women who are in your shoes pride themselves on being the first lady, the woman he comes home to every night and so they dont go looking for trouble.

Nigerian men want their ladies to ignore all their shortcomings, tolerate their excesses, Sex them like a LovePeddler in the bedroom and act like a cultured lady outside, be a good cook, if in the event that you discover a Nigerian man is cheating, you can be angry, quarrel with him but never leave him, just endure the days of his cheating until he is ready to cut off from his mistress despite all you must still love him.To alot of Nigerian men this is a perfect wife.
lest i forget they like their wives to be very spiritual as well.

Talk with your husband about how you feel.Stop bothering yourself whether he is cheating or not. Focus on yourself and love yourself.

am loving this,nice one agiboma.

@op dis is a very good advice

NaJoke2000: You do your best to be a trustworthy man. All i get in return is a stab in the back from my wife which
you have been trusting, all these 5 years of marriage.

I suddenly discovered that my wife has been discussing our marriage issues with her family which has led to some strange behaviours.
I have tried on so many occassions to talk to her on this but she kept denying it until i discover it myself.

Does it mean that a man should keep his mouth shut to his wife?
Someone like this can actually kill me one day. I'm thinking of a divorce.

nawa for u o op,so becos of dat u wan to divorce ur wife. Go ahead n divorce her den see if it will make u happy,do u tink divorce is sweet. Instead of u to sit ur wife down n tok to her and correct her mistake.God help u. Abi u don get anoda woman who is ready to move in after u divorce.

ifyalways: Semidy, go chop fried sand. Lolz
Where have you been?me militant?hehe
Salams!

lol

Tgirl4real: How do you cope with being a wife, mother and career woman?

Folks, for a while now we have been bombarded with series of threads on abuse, adultery and divorce.
For a change, let's look at sum'n different but well related.

As a working married mother, how do you cope with the challenges of balancing all the 3 areas?

Does one area suffer for another?

Which aspect is most important to you; marriage, kids or career?

Let's discuss please. . .

my dear it aint a east task at all,only God can explain how we cope cos i cnt even explain how i get d strent to carry on. Having a loving hubby,hardworking n understanding husbands helps a whole lot.

armyofone: only 4th baby and you are here talking . don't forget to use protection after the 4th baby so the greys stop coming plus less workload.
more babies, more work for you. meaning no time to really enjoy life and the money you are working for.
4 eh kwa, you try gan ni o sha.

3 and 1 on the way you don dey already open thread

very good one.

@op, o boy u golike dat tin well well ooo,4 pikin already,i advice u set ur wife up so she can assist in meetin up with d family demands snc u will soon b a family of 6 or even 7 sef if she go born twins. Lol. Get her a shop close to ur house so it will less stresfull. God bless ur family n goodluck.

rokiatu: Anybody can be lazy and anybody can be strong. It all boils down to willpower. YES YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE WILLPOWER TO KICK OUT BAD BEHAVIORS. You have to discipline yourself. Don't listen to your body, listen to your mind. The body always want us to rest and not do things, but the mind always tell u what you are doing is wrong, listen to your mind, and force on your body to be what you want it to be. No matter how rich your family may be, or how much they love you, you have to learn to be independent. Because at the end you are untimely left with you and yourself. Even if I give you a 500 list of how to stop being lazy that wouldn't help, the key is self disciplined and willpower.

wow, u av said it all. Very gud advice for op.

hakuna matata: I saw a rather queer couple, Arm-in-arm. The man had his jean pants belted to his tigh showing off his blue underwear. His partner, sagging to a lesser degree and heavily pregnant, had tattoos of various animals all over her body- arms, bared back, neck, legs with breasts and butts that dared public view. Passer's-by watched amusingly as the happy-go-lucky couple walked on. I reflect that growing up, our parents, uncles and aunts were more conservativly dressed with Fashion in our generation appearing to be miles apart from thiers'. My question is: if this is a sample of d face of parentage now, all things being equal, by completing d graph mentally, what would d next generation in d name of fashion and culture look like?

junior will certainly run mad.
Crazy parents.

D both of them are responsilbe in their various ways n in diffrent aspects of life.

agiboma: @ op it feels wonderful the first time my son said mom i almost cried, it was so beautiful at first i didnt understand what he was saying but eventually i did, even now i love to hear it. I think his voice is the sweetest thing ever, but im bais, my son is now 20 months.

aww,so sweet. Am sure am gona cry too wen i hear my son call me mum.i realy cant wait. God bless our kids.they are indeed a gift to treasure forever.

neyostica: we dont have kids

when u start having kids which is gona b soon then u can use dem as ur next of kin. But pls for d sake of peace trust ur wife,dats y she is ur companion.tnx