₦airaland Forum

ronkebp: Johndoe, neyostical n the mighty Harakiri?

Coldfeet: [color=#770077][/color]I discussed the issue with my husband and he asked me what I intended doing? I said confront my dad ofcourse! And he said so you believed her? To even want to confront your dad based only on her words? Do you know your father at all? And i was like why would she lie? If my husband is a violent man he would have hit me! The hurt on his face would make one think the man in question is his father! I was shocked when he said my "adorable" cousin also came to him a few weeks back accusing ME! Of entertaining men in my shop and the sort of things i and my girlfriends talk about whenever they visit! He said he didn't bring it up then because of the stress i was on due to my mums life threatening operation. I took my cousin to my aunts house when asked to repeat all she told me and my husband she became mute! Until her mum was called to speak to her and before i could finish narrating what was going on her mum cut me short and said she is lying!! such was the reason why she sent her to lagos, that she did the same thing to their neighbours son! Whose father dealt with mercilessly when the matter was reported to him, she gave herself away when she was heard boasting about it! She was sent to lagos cos the boys in their street vowed to beat her up! It was when i threatened to send her back to ABA that she opened up and said aunty am sorry i lied! I asked which one? She said about daddy! Why? Nothing! I was so LIVID i pounced on her!. There won't be any need to confront my dad after all and i hope he never gets to hear about it either! as for my cousin? ABA awaits her she must go back and make amends with that poor boy and write her exams there. She'll never step foot in my house ever again!. I shudder to think of the damage this girl could have done my family! I thank everyone!

Dipwater: @missy b I luv u so much
@coldfeet. U shuld investigate b4 confronting ur dad. I understand ,its a big digrace but don't protect ur dad so dat hell put an end to this kind of behaviour.
@dont8 if it were to be me I wuld investigate and if found Guilty I wuldnt take it eazy with him cuz it culd be my daughter in that lil girls shoes
@taryour put ur lil daughter in her shoes and honestly tell us how u wuld react (maybe u wuld send ur daughter away sharp sharp


Africans we luv to protect our family members even when they are wrong

Ib: @ Coldfeet, do you honestly think that your father would admit his guilt if confronted? I'm very sure that he will deny the allegations hands down because there's no evidence to show that he actually committed the act even though i believe he did cos the girl cannot be lying about something so serious. If your dad denies it, there's is little or nothing you can do and this may cause a permanent strain between yourself and dad. Thats why i said you need evidence. Most abusers dont confess unless they are caught hands down.

MugSmasher: Ouch! Your using curse/swear words to promote a point and Telling it as it is and i respect your own tactics . While you prefer to use foul language to drive your point home, i prefer to use my feet and boots atimes to drive my point home to women. You see we are not really that different. We all have what drives us to do what we do. You derive pleasure in attacking me with symantics and big grammar and i respect that while i attack women physically. Bottom line we love to attack people and am sure as you are good with words, i am good with my fists too. It just grew on me over the years.

At first i felt awkward doing it and almost always apologized for days after i made the occassional slap or shove but now, i am so experienced to know the time and place to beat her and where precisely to beat her that will really cause massive damage at the same time not too visible for people to say i really beat her e.g by blowing the sides of her stomaches continously will not show any scar or signs of tough blows but the aftermath of the damage would lead to so many complications that could put her out of commission for a long time. I once had the opportunity to kick an ex'es vag-ina and she screamed so loudly and when people rushed into the room, she couldnt tell them i kicked her v-zone but kept holding her belly crying. I really laughed hard for days seeing her wringing in pain and using a tongue in cheek moment to apologize. it felt damn good!

Coldfeet: How would you advice I handle a situation where a young girl confides in me that my father molests her!! She claims its not once but several times! No penetrative sex yet! But she fears if she continues to stay in the house he might resort to that as she claims that his touches are getting more intense! I love my father and have great respect for him I know him to be a loving man to all and well respected in the society! Am afraid of the implications of this matter if she tells another soul about her claims. She threatens to expose him publicly if he tries it again! What do I do? How do I confront my father about this? Should I send her away hoping that her exist will bury the whole issue? I'm really disturbed about this case because I was a victim once! I was fondled by a mature man in my neighbourhood as a six year old! I've NEVER told a soul! Not even my hubby! This will be the first time I've mentioned it. I hail her courage that's if its true! Even though I sorta believe her because my assaulter was also a man accorded much respect in the society which was why I felt ashamed and afraid to tell my mum or anyone because i new nobody would believe me as I was already tagged an "OGBANJE". I will really appreciate your candid opinion of HOW YOU WOULD HANDLE THIS! Thanks.

maclatunji: I am a threatened and abused second wife. I am a 24yr old mother-of-one who is really stressed by my so-called husband. He has never gone to my parents to inform them officially that we have been together for the past five years. When we started living together, his mother was angry and she disliked me. When I had the baby after two years, she never visited us. She came much later, and only because she was tricked by her son.

He is 34 now, but when we first met I was only 16 and naive. He was married, so we used to meet in hiding. After I completed school, I ran away from home and we started living together. My parents were angry with me, but have with time accepted me back.

He started beating me whenever he came home late. He also started spending nights away and tried to make me believe that he was at his wife’s place, but deep down I knew it was a lie. I endured this life because he was well aware that I could not dare go home and say I had been beaten. Finally, I could not take it anymore, so I went back home. He later called me and apologised, so I went back. He has continued to mistreat me, but I cannot leave him because he keeps threatening to kill me, saying the new Constitution allows him to be out on bail and fight his case because in Kenya, if you have money, justice is in your hands, he has even tried to strangle me. I left him and went back home, but the following day, he was waiting for me at the college I attend, carrying acid. I was so scared that I packed my things and moved back.

He is well connected and I fear that even if I report him to the police, justice will not be done. What can I do? I am wasting my time; while his life is going on, mine has stopped. Even if I leave and get a job, he will give me no peace. If I move out and look for a job somewhere I will not work; he will disturb me. And if I leave my son, he will take him to his wife and I do not want to lose my child because I love him.

Please like this post and share this with your friends, but more importantly, i need your honest opinion.

Came across the story on Facebook and decided to share here.

Daresh: I don't think it pained them like it pained me o! Haba 12 hours of excruciating pain and you say I shd not shout? Oti o!

Odunnu: Imagine!
The kinda picture you see and you whisper a prayer for help on her behalf.
Yet some foolish NLndrs will not hesitate to insult people's mothers. Some of our mothers literally kill themselves to give us a better life than they had/have and just when they want to rest from the troubles of the day, some twats here would start raining insults on them. The thing dey vex me well well

blank: I have only seen one and that one stayed quietly without moving(in a govt hospital). It was when the doctor noticed blood running down her legs that they examined her n saw she was already crowning. If she was not on painkillers, how won't she know she was crowning?
My bro worked in the north as a house officer n said same thing.

debrief08: Lol, no herbs no jazz oh, we are just taught that it shows how strong and capable you are as a woman to endure pain.
The local women self get mind pass us wey township don spoil. Those ones will give birth alone, clean up and bath the baby. When I was having my baby, I was in pain but determined not to shout, I however gave one scream and that was it, all d pain was in dat one.
My sisters laughed at me sha, but in a way they still hailed me for not shouting and crying.

chaircover: This is what makes me laugh when DK and family come here and insinuate that Nigerian women are lazy gold diggers.

Go to Nigeria and you will see women like this working hard and taking all sorts of risks to sustain their families. Do you think that all those market women sit down and someone comes to supply them with goods? many of them are up at the crack of dawn going to the wholesale market, bush, farm etc to source their wares. Same thing at night. Go to any main road at 9pm and it is these women you will see with a baby on their lap selling all sorts of things. Surely they all cant be widows or single parents.

One old mama sells amala to the shop girls in my complex. The mama is about 60. When I engaged her one day, I found out that she makes all the food herself. She wakes up at 4 and rushes to the market, then comes back to cook. One day I did not see her, so when I asked her the next day she said that some people didnt pay her up the road and so she didnt have enough money to go to the market the next day so she couldnt cook. when I asked her how much she was being owed she said N800. I couldnt beleive it. Women like this are not alone. Many many women are sustaining their families. Kudos to them all.

neyostica: Since u lack manners, its my job to instill values to you, its for your good

nzenze2: this life is deeper than you think dear...lets just pray temptations that are greater than us do not come our way....

neyostica: Are u scared Quote them

ronkebp: Yes we are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!as in court marraige, option for divorce is present.

Traditionally, you can marry as many as you can care for and option for divorce is also present.

Church wedding, oh yes!!!!!!!!one-man- one wife. and till death do them part. That one gan sef no option for divorce.

ronkebp: Yes we are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!as in court marraige, option for divorce is present.

Traditionally, you can marry as many as you can care for and option for divorce is also present.

Church wedding, oh yes!!!!!!!!one-man- one wife. and till death do them part. That one gan sef no option for divorce.

Van snickers: I watched a Documentary where the Mother could not stand the Child, when he needs anything she does not give it to him even though she can.
They go through Labour-Pains like any other Mother, yet they still hate the Child, WHY??!!

jennykadry: Debrief, let me not see your post on this thread.

deshclones: nice suggestions man..but hey..this is nigeria...court case might drag for months or years..morover people might start looking at op as a conscienceless man...i still repeat my advice..op abeg kindly bid your money gdbye....

ifyalways: @jaybee, would you shout at your boss or client just so you could let out steam?

deshclones: o boy..just kiss your money goodbye...lady is dead and gone and there is nothing you can do about it.


nawaoh...700k thats some cool dmoney gone down the drain.