₦airaland Forum

As a woman,wife,daugther,mother ,i wept after ready both sides of d story and felt so bittered, Even if d entire world coments on dos stories dosnt change d fact dat d 2 kids involed in dis wuld never feel motherly love again.... If kelvin was realy dat bad dosnt bring ogo bak to her lovely kids,even if kelvin is found guilty and sentenced to death will only cause more damage. Only God sees all and knows wots best. All i pray for and ask God is to send a woman like their mother to those kids eventhough it just wuld never b as their true MOTHER. If only evry thing linking up to dis story will b earased from d internet it will save ogo kids worse pain in the future,now they are still young to understand much of wot dis publicity as caused compared to d damage and pains it will cause in future when dey can undastand more. GOD BLESS OGO KIDS.
R.I.P OGOCHUKWU

ifyalways: Shout at my husband ke?not even in my dreams.

The last time I shouted @ someone, I was thoroughly disgraced and "brought back to civil world" by my 3 years old son. I was very pissed with someone, had my sons in the car and was out giving the person a piece of my mind, screaming out my lungs. One of my sons poked out his face from the window and shouted "mom are you allright?why are you shouting?is the man deaf"

Trust kids now, they kept asking me throughout the drive home if the man was deaf or I sick.

Been tempted sometimes after that incident to shout at someone but I thank God I someone get the inner strenght to refrain.

If I can't shout @ my client no matter how stupid s/he is, why should I shout at my husband. . . Or anyone?

OMG!! Ify ur son realy got me laffin out ontop of my voice.

debrief08: Heheheheeeeeeeeeeee, wetin you sef dey study? I am fully behind Mrs. Zubby jare. And soon you will have less space for those your shoes if she is anything like me, ask Mr. Debrief, he is not permitted to oen more than 8 shoes at a time for lack of storage space, hehehee. Carry on jare, nothing do you.
Anytime I wanna go shop for shoes I will carry my old shoes and say I am going to repsir them then I will come back with the new ones and mix with the old, heheheheeeeeeeeeeee, when he says "these are new shoes" I will say "hmmmmm so you dont even notice me again, you dont even know these shoes I have had for ages, na wa oh" it used to work before but now when I do that he will seperate the old from the new so I will know he knows but he is just keeping quiet.
Carry on Madam Zubby, Nothing do you jor

lol. Ur head dey dia debrief,love ur style. I support mrs zubby,if possible mrs zubby abeg join ur underwears with his own too

debrief08: Heheheheeeeeeeeeeee, wetin you sef dey study? I am fully behind Mrs. Zubby jare. And soon you will have less space for those your shoes if she is anything like me, ask Mr. Debrief, he is not permitted to oen more than 8 shoes at a time for lack of storage space, hehehee. Carry on jare, nothing do you.
Anytime I wanna go shop for shoes I will carry my old shoes and say I am going to repsir them then I will come back with the new ones and mix with the old, heheheheeeeeeeeeeee, when he says "these are new shoes" I will say "hmmmmm so you dont even notice me again, you dont even know these shoes I have had for ages, na wa oh" it used to work before but now when I do that he will seperate the old from the new so I will know he knows but he is just keeping quiet.
Carry on Madam Zubby, Nothing do you jor

lol. Ur head dey dia debrief,love ur style. I support mrs zubby,if possible mrs zubby abeg join ur underwears with his own too

debrief08: I agree to some extent, amd we are saying the same thing, shout and quarel with each other the bad part is doing it in front of the kids and using the kids as weapons in your fight.

very very true debrief08;coupls av arguments alot but using kids as weapon is totally bad. I used to shout alot wen am arguing,even on my siblings but snc i got married av learnt to caution myself,d respect i av for my hubby is enuf to caution me wen we av dissagrements. Even dou i feel like shouting to make my point but i dont cause he is my husband.after everting has cooled down,as a woman i still no how to make my point heard without shouting and thats what makes u a woman (resolving issues without blowing it out of propotion)

Van snickers: You are calling the man an "Ode" but if he goes all "Jim Iyke" on the Woman, it's Women like you that will call him a Monster.

yes van d man is ode for allowing such insult from his wife and yes i will call a man dat beats his innocent wife for no good reason a monster. Dis case is totally diffrent.this mans kids will go to skull and paint their father black just as the mother as done and they will all laff at the father. I dont support a man beating his wife but in dis case d woman is crossing her boundries and is calling for some lessons.

@debrief08
i am not in suport of men hitting wives but i tell u some women deserve it. If dat woman as been slaped or corected d first time then she would av realised it is wrong to do so let alone in d presence of her kids.if she can do dat at home then she will definately do it in public.and dat wuld ruin her marriage and probaly make her husband look for a woman who wunt shout on him or listen to advice from friends.

@Megawax
u dont understand my post,wot i meant is d woman ad no right wotsoever shouting on her husband even if she was not d breadwinner, she should never b cos if she was,d husband will turn to b d maid.

@debrief08
truely said,d man has less blame,its possible d man is quite n soft in nature but if care is not taken,that creature he has in his house will turn him in2 a mumu of d highest oder and his kids will become his enemy. Futhermore it will b abit difficult to lay down rules for her now cos she wunt change soon,he should av refused dat insult the first time she dished it across to him or slaped her face and make her realise who d head of the home is.

Op
dat man is not a full grown man yet,and i doubt if he is truely d breadwinner of d home. That woman is d kind that their husbands beat up,am sure the next time she wunt only shout on him but tie him up when he is asleep and beat him blue black with koboko,while d kids watch and laff. Foolish woman and ode man.

Outstrip: I have heard some old people say this. Some of them get so bored waiting. This is strange though. Where soes a 105 year old have the strength to hang herself. She likely had help.

very trur outstrip,am sure she dint do it all by herself.

@op
i read your previous post and i understand you clearly.the words you use are too strong,men do not own women,we were created to assist and be a conpanion to men,if not God will not create women,God created women cause men can not live alone and thats why we are companions of mothers of the whole nation, MEN ARE OUR HEADS AND NOT OUR OWNERS. On the issue of bride price and the likes,that has been the tradition in afica for soo long,and noting wotsoever can change it.we shoud just keep praying that we all and our children get our best frnds for husbands and wives.

That is a very wrong thing to do,and i can assure your friend he would regret it and chew off his fingers in regret when his family starts dictating to him which color of pants his wife should wear and when to have sex with is wife. That your needs to get his head examined if he should listen to them... Oga oooo SMH That is a very wrong thing to do,and i can assure your friend he would regret it and chew off his fingers in regret when his family starts dictating to him which color of pants his wife should wear and when to have sex with is wife. That your needs to get his head examined if he should listen to them... Oga oooo SMH

Yes he eats amala and ewedu,weat,semo,yam,sweet potato,egg yoke,drinks orange,watermelon,cakes,fish,he even eats pounded yam when i pound. His best is fish,he loves his fish soo soooo much(dosnt joke with it).tnx will also try the boiled plantain.
Am a yoruba woman and i sitll dont know what couc cous means,pls do you know the yoruba name for it?or how do i describe it when i get to the maket?

Tnx debrief for all your repls,God bless you and your family. Pls whats cous cous. Can i also feed him with custard and milk?

Dear mothers on nairaland;

Am abit worried cause my son dosnt eat well,he is going to be 7months by ending of march. He neva took all the fomular food we gave him,NAN,SMA GOLD and even cerelac cearel,even the goldenmorn we bought,he wouldnt even drink dilluted ribena, He as been taking solid foods since he was 4months,and he drinks water very well. Is it medicaly ok?i would also like to know what kind of solid foods contains all the essentials good for babies. He still sucks his breats milk very very often. Tnx alot as i await your replys.

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ronkebp: Instead of you to pursue him with broom infront of every....you are here asking questions,

@op
this is excatly what you should do or pour him hot water, experience they say is a teacher. I av gone tru more than what u faced in the past and i also gave benefit of doubt but it was hell in 10folds for me, all tnx to my darling hubby who saved me. Every one as given you d perfect advice,forget the animal,but if u no hear and u decide to marry d man,just remember to buy your coffin along as you get married to him. Good luck

@op
i undastnd how u feel. I for one person felt so nervous al tru my 9monts of pregnancy habouring the fear of opening my legs for a male doc to take my son delivery but i bet u wen i was in pain i was blinded to how many male doctors were in the labour room with me.
2ndly, no doctor had to do any finger insertion on me untill i was in labour pain and that only to check how far i ad gone in my cervix dialation so i see no reason why a doctor should do such to ur wife be it male or female doctor,except in exceptional case,even at all if it should be done it shouldnt take more than a minute or just few seconds. That doctor needs to be monitord and questiond cause i know the only check up for pregnant women is scan,checking the baby hearth beat and sometime pressing the womans belly just a little to know if any pain is felt,

@op
abeg no vex oo,if i don offend u. Hope my apology is accepted.

@op. This will some days or weeks to plan oo.If your wife has a car,tyr this. In copration with her collegues and the gateman or security,just 10min before lunch hour,have the security run up to her in a hase and inform her of someont who bash her car an caused a huge damage,she would rush out then have her co wokers lock d door after she rushes out and sets the cake and other drinks on table which must have been hidden from her all the while. Rushing out with the security man or gate man who brought the false news,finding out its a lie would cause a huge agument between the two(the man could say he though it was her car that was bashed),you could work in then and prevent her from doin anything drastic to the man and work with her back into her office,by then all will be set so once knock and the door is opened,she will be welcomed back with a chrous from her friends HAPPYBIRTHDAY, SHE WOULD LOVE IT. Trust me

mutter:
Your story does not sound straight forward and raises suspicion. I can understand your husband.
If he is offended why do you not apologise.
You would have been hurt too if it were the other way around.
Assure him of your good intention and that you did not mean any wrong. Let him know it would not haen again and you did not mean to offend him.
Is it so difficult to apologise?

@mutter very true
@op, no vex o cause am not a man. I also sence some coma in your story n i guess thats why your hubby as reacted thus,if you ad imformed him before paying such visit then you have come out clean with no room for doubt.your hubby as to know every of your movements NOT AFTER BUT BEFORE,except when situations do not warrant you inform him before u go. All you need to do is go on your knees and beg your hubby,you dont need to explain anything wotsoever or trying to justify your action cause you could have prevented it in the first place by telling him before paying the visit. You realy need to beg your hubby well o,cause this are things that destroys trust in marriages and ensure it dosnt happen again. GOODLUCK

jennykadry:
No you won't get a good job in Nigeria. You say you love working and making your own money? well that, you cannot do in Nigeria. The educational system in Nigeria is crap. I don't get why you wanno take those kids away from the better schools there to go and abandon them in ABA, Ebonyi or abuja?

Well it's your family. *Shrugs*

@jenny,u have spoken well.
@op, Left to me oooo,abeg stay were you are and enjoy your life with your family,the major problem you will have is convincin your hubby to let you stay. Alot of pple have done in the past and dint regret and alot have also done and regret. But if your husband insist then you dont have a choice. I hope your husband is a multimillioner so you can live a confortable life if you eventualy move down here.

Hmmm,this is a very big question. As a woman,when growing up we all prayed to have a happy home with the best hubby were are hubby is our best friend and confidant,cause they are our crown. Our spouse are supposed to be our best friends,but with a whole lot happening now,lots of women are regreting being married to their man and women too regreting having such husbands and wished they could turn the hands of tme. So many challenges comes with marrige,alot makes spouses turn to enemies while fews makes them sronger in love. It is only Gods grace thet makes spouses bestfriend forever.
As for me my hubby is my best friend and i pray by God grace he remains my best friend.
@agiboma,i have always admired your responce in all thread and i know woth you have been tru. I realy feel for you,but i assure you that God is in control and will surely make you the happiest at the end. God bless you and may your kids make you a proud mum.

oradee:
I didnt have time to read all the posts here but i wanna ask, ''WHERE IS UR OWN MOTHER, ?''

@op just as oradee as said,WERE IS YOUR MOTHER
Secondly,do u smoke or drink? Or even beat your wife? Do you use abusive words on her? If you do any of this then you have created a big problem here cause you would have created more fear in her so she listend to her mum, she would have made her believe you would come home late and drunk and then beat her up,get the little baby injured in the process(that is if you drink or smoke). I see no reason why she would do such a thing if you dont do any of this. Then have you also considered if the child is truly yours?find out if the baby is yours,if the baby is yours then fight tooth an nail to get your child and make sure he or she will be well taken care of cause if you leave your child for then,i assure you that your child wunt get a good upbringing and might not recognise your as his or her father. As for your wife,she needs real prayers and delivrance,

@op
i understand u are hurting so much right now, IMO,there are two sides to this whole issue. Its eida u have offended your man and he has said this to hurt you and test your love for him OR he dosnt love you anymore and has told you the truth point blank.
But before you walk out,be sure you find out what he told you is real and there is actually someone else,if its not true and you still love your guy then find a way amend the issue,and if you find out its true there is someone else then you can take a walk. Dont be to fast in your decision, u never can tell cause he could come back begging. Goodluck to you.

Richvkunt:
Your hubby paid for your masters?
You had several miscarriages?
You do not appear to know what you have got!
Some women are not very strong during pregnancy so they do not need to do any stress in order to carry the pregnancy to fruition.
As I posted before your husband loves you but I am not sure you love yourself.
You are free to keep listening to the internet Nigerians,but I think you know the truth.
GOOD LUCK!!!

GBAM!!!!! ododo oro.

@cc very very wiered indeed, smell of petrol,dat i cant beat,but the smell of rain is what i love most.i even like to go bath in the rain when it rains. Its fun.

ronkebp:
I prefer my hubby's natural perfume, i love to sniff his singlets and boxers (wierd me) but the for the artificial perfume, Lacoste Green, love it.

@ronkebp its not weired at all cos i do the same with his colths cause i so much love the smell of rain so since i cant get a perfume that smells like rain i just go for his natural smell.

Richvkunt:
[b]@OP,

1.On the issue of condoms,people need to get it into their skulls that they are not a 100% effective birth control system,the only 100% birth control system I know is abstinence!
2.You are not in any kind of relationship right now,but you are pregnant! Have you thought about getting in to contact with the man responsible? How do you know his mind set? Have you tried talking to him?He might want you to keep the child or is he a married man?There are lots of loose ends to this story.
3.While I would never encourage you to dishonour your parents because I am a parent too,I have to say you appear too tied to the apron strings of your parents,according to you you are in your late twenties and you have a job.Right now you are pregnant and even if the father of the unborn kid accepts his responsibility,the two of you will still have to face your parents and explain issues to them-To me it appears you are more scared of your parents than the man who knocked you up.Certainly you need to conquer this fear and approach your parents like the adult you are.If you have decided to keep this baby,trust me your folks will come around to accepting the child and you,although it may take some time.
4.Finallyabout the guy that has been pestering you for a relationship,and in the backlash of your problems you want to start a relationship with him so that he can accept you and your baby? My advise DO NOT TRY IT!-He certainly is not the father of the kid so why would you want to give Ibas child to Osun?You want to start your new relationship on a foundation of lies?I bet in your heart you know what the result will be.

I do not pretend to have all the answers to your problems but my suggestion is that you search for the real father of your baby and have a heart to heart talk with him.All other steps will follow from there.
PEACE!!![/b]

@richvkunt very good advice.
@op richvkunt as given you the perfect advice so you better take to it or you risk the chances of loosing you life or your womb if you go ahead and do an abortion. And if you push it on the guy pestrin you,i assure you that you will regret it and bite your fingers forever.

XX01:
Thank you for the good, the bad and the ugly replies.
If there is anyway I have made it seem like I disrespect my MIL, it is not so. I have the utmost respect and regards for her. She is a lovely woman and her kids do not joke with her at all. My own mum is late so she is the only mum I have.
I have actually been married for 4 years. The first year, I went for my masters which my husband paid for in its entirety even to his detriment though my undergrad was on scholarship.

We had several miscarriages that was why when that one took hold, we were very careful and I had to resign when it was getting too much.

I have listened to your suggestions. Thank you. We will discuss further and reach an agreement.

@op, i have been following this post and have refused to reply but now i must
1st your husband paid for your masters,dont you think he did that because he wanted you to work with it or you think he just waisted it.
2nd you have been married for 4years with misscariages.
3rdly you were sick and on best rest while pregnant due to tress from work befor you eventualy had a baby. Thank God for you.


Now your husband wants you to stop working and you dont like it. You beta thank your stars that you have a caring huasbands cause some husbands wunt think of all the pain you have gone tru before being blessesd with your boundle of joy(your baby). Have you also tought of it that your hubby asked you to stop workin to save you all the stess of work,and the pain of have other misscariages. Or do want to have only one child in your life? Your husband loves you and your child thats why he wants a stress free life for you. D way you have put it,your hubby is financialy ok to set you up in a lucrative buisness and get you a car so you can go out and visit friends when you are board in you shop. All you need to do have a talk with your hubby and it is done.the nine month course of pregnancy and the labour pain is the joy and pride of any woman. So giving up ur job and starting a buisnes to raise your kids in the proper way is no big deal at all. Goodluck