₦airaland Forum

TheSeeker:
No he didn't feel it. If he did he won't have gone as far deep as telling his mom he'd like to marry her. He won't have named her his "future wife" but it's sad that she didn't appreciate that, rather she wanted a killer ex-boyfriend.

bluespice:
the calculating killer that she is, i doubt she'llda let him know

moreso who's to say she didnt meet the ex shortly b4 this happened?
u know one of those stupid having sex with ur ex incidences and she realised she wasnt not over him entirely and in her guilt ridden moment of clarity, he pitches the idea that she lure him (present fool) to him (ex) and he (fool) gets a beating for stealing girl from him (ex), ex's anger's absolved and they get back together. . . .

From the topic, it was said that the current boyfriend was a criminal who's still seeing some team probably for rehabilitation or something, however, he's said to have been turning a new leaf which I believe could have been a greater plus for the girl because he must have known how put his acts together and better yet, treat her good. But there's no contesting the fact that some women like to kick it with rough guys -- don't get it twisted some of the rough guys give thug loving and some are just beautifully romantic but in this context the ex wasn't just a killer but a spiteful one and no I don't see that as jealousy but more like beating the guy up because he considered him a fool. He believed he's too dumb to take away his girlfriend and the bitch played along. That is why some women really don't deserve to be shown love.

The stupid maggot said he had a knife because he wanted to defend himself and his family --- crazy with all these things they say in court. You're the killer but defending yourself from a defenseless victim who didn't even know what he's getting into. That boy should be bitch-slapped with a triple life sentence.

FL Gators:
Ok, lets say he didn't know.
But hemust have felt that she wasn't feeling him. So why stay?

No he didn't feel it. If he did he won't have gone as far deep as telling his mom he'd like to marry her. He won't have named her his "future wife" but it's sad that she didn't appreciate that, rather she wanted a killer ex-boyfriend.

FL Gators:
I rreally don't care for her reason in staying in the relationship.
What I'm more concerned about is the reason why he stayed, probably knowing she's a psycho.
But sometimes punami chains them down

I don't think he knew she was a psycho, did he?

[quote author=*Hauwa* link=topic=294031.msg4156984#msg4156984 date=1247105495]preach on my brother   [/quote]Show me where the pulpit is and I will talk into the mic.

FL Gators:
Well, now we're on both the same page.

Therefore, shouldn't the guy have known that the girl does not really feel him, or that she still feel for her ex? That should have given him enough reason to waka (talking about the topic)

Yes he should have known but I don't believe he pressured her into the relationship and she could have really said no if she didn't want to enter a relationship with him. Why go into a relationship when you have no passion at all for the person you're going to get involved with? I don't see why.
For the deceased to have talked to his mom about her, that tells the amount of trust he had in her but I'm not disputing the fact that he didn't check her out so well. Who knows what ever story she told him to make him believe she's into him and not anymore into her ex? No one knows. She's a swindling bitch!

FL Gators:
In general.

I think men should know both when there's an emotional swing and how their partners feel.  If a man doesn't know how his woman feels and vice versa, the relationship is losing touch with reality and that speaks nothing healthy about the relationship. How's a man supposed to know how a woman feels if he doesn't know her likes and dislikes? Until she knows her dislikes then he can have a little clue about her emotional swing.

How is the relationship supposed to grow if you can't tell how your partner feels? How do you know when your partners need comfort? I still think men know a lot of these things about their women unless they don't give a fig how she feels.

As well, I believe with constant communication, the man might not even need to look to hard before he knows what's going on with his girl -- it's just as simple as that.

bluespice:
i promise u she wasnt thinking of all that
all she was thinking of was her love for the ex
now folks wonder why i get really pissed off when youngins talk about love
an accessory to murder?
pls upgrade that charge to manslaughter!
heartless bitch

Just her right name. A 20-year old girl shot his boyfriend, a football player, in his sleep because she believes he's cheating on her --- what is that? Love? Sometimes the meaning of love is conveyed in the most wrongful acts. Being a criminal is way different from being a lover and you can't prove you love someone by committing crime. These little girls make me sick!

bluespice:
this here lady's saying no right?

rome wasnt built in a day

I believe that.

Kunbee:
@Theseeker not dose kinda lyrics lol

Just messing withcha. But what kind of lyrics really? Give me a hint. Wa, i, t, i, i, n, g,

luvbooks:
It is true that an act done in ignorance can sometimes have worse results than one done with total knowledge. From what I read of her case, she was extremely foolish. Her actions from beginning to end don't make any sense. Would'nt it have been easier for her to dump the guy? But let's not forget that while she was an accessory to murder, she DID NOT commit the murder. I am sure that while she was walking away, she probably felt some concern for the state he was left in but chose to look the other way because not doing so would have meant losing her ex- boyfriend completely.
But those boys are really vicious , i have to say.

You can imagine how exasperating it is. Lure a current boyfriend to be dealt with by an ex just so you can get the relationship going again. Let's say they weren't caught, what guarantee does she have that it'll get anywhere further? What assurance does she have that a boyfriend who could get mean to that point won't plan with his friends to gang rape her?

bluespice:
i think it will,
but not anytime soon

the sad situation is the lies being fed to them thru all avenues possible
media being the chief culprit
women are still very innocent and naive when it comes to matters of the heart
the traditions of society still place the utmost repect on a woman that hold the title of Mrs.

untill society begins to accept women irrespective of their marital status, as legit members of the society,
and indeed frown at women who fall for smooth tongued men too easily, maybe then the grim future might begin to clear up

But a society where a woman that plays hard to get is giving common names ranging from pretentious to being proud, I don't expect such changes to come ever unless the ladies themselves start to say no regardless of whatever the media does.

Keep it coming both-o-ya. I'm enjoying the eavesdropping.

See levels!

bluespice:
the 'he he he' in the post was just a way to show i was chuckling, the emoticon here makes one look retarded at times

Do you think the trend of girls falling for guys at the confession of "i love you" will ever stop?

bluespice:
he he he
thank you very much

What language is that?

bluespice:
rubi how can u say its hard not to fall inlove at the first time,
dont get it twisted, there's nothing like love at first sight
its fascination, infatuation, like
whatever, just not love

There ya go again. Make way the real 9JA girl is coming through.

FL Gators:
What exactly do men know if they can't atleast tell what their partner feels and their change in their emotions?

Before I answer that, in what nomenclature are you talking about? This post or in generalization? If it's this post, what relationship does that have to do with how the stabber or the stabbed or the bait felt?

bluespice:
he he he he
sank u feli mush

?

bluespice:
frankly that depends on my disposition that day,
for me to even grant him the audience to say all that means a lot on his part

9 out of 10 times, ill smile and thank him for the admiration but firmly decline the number exchange
best get his number and let him be


if i do exchange numbers with him and after a month he uses the L word,
ill drop his ass faster than a hot pan of apple pie
okay that's extreme but if i do like him and i feel there might be something,
illd advice him to put the L word on hold and focus on the friendship

that word scares me personally, used sooner than im beginning to feel comfy with the relationship,
i hit the door


lol ive never been a fan of desmon elliot, lawd knows if i see him walking the im-coming-to-'chat-u-up' walk, ill jump in the next bugatti veyron i see
_{who knows the driver could be boris kodjoe (i dont care that he's married with kids! )}

Now that's my 9JA girl! You're the bomb!

FL Gators:
She's not suppose to give you any "woman's take". As the superior sex [aka animals], men are actually suppose to know what women feel

In this context, who's the animal? You don't go about hurling gender insults, it just doesn't make sense. Men aren't supposed to know how women feel and no one ever said or proved that. It's just a wide belief by many simply because they think a woman's emotion can be read into which can be partly true and mostly misleadingly wrong.

ElRazur:
Perhaps looking back on it from her view she may see it as ignorance? Or she may think she did what she had to kinda thing?

Yeah I do see what you are saying. I wonder if more females would come along and just give us some sort of a "woman's take" or analysis of the whole thing. lol

That depends on how much punishment the court metes out to her. If she gets a life imprisonment sentence, she will look back in regret but give her 5 years and she'll think it's a "I had to do it" concept. She had a clear choice but she blew it because she was a stupid cunt.  UK teenagers with all these stabbing atrocities.

bluespice:
taking into consideration how long we've been friends, if i was both physically and emotionally available,and his reasons for liking me made sense to me and i liked him also, illd answer in the affirmative.
this serves as a possible answer in both scenarios


i cant date someone i wasnt friends with to begin with,
where do we start?

I see someone who's not moved by Desmond Elliot's movies   . I agree with you. I was trying to state in one of my earlier posts that men take advantage of these women because of this trend then someone clearly objected. I'll explicate a little.

There's no denying that the respect men used to have for women have declined not because women outnumber the men but because of the way ladies fall for us guys. Say I love you and they crumble like a pack of cards -- the guy says in his mind "she's so weak, she fell to quickly". In such cases what do you expect of the guy? Respect the girl? Of course not. He ends up doing whatever he wants because he has a strong feeling that any other girl he tries to hit with the same hype will fall for it.

Has anyone noticed how guys find it interestingly challenging when they talk to a woman who plays hard to get? Real guys will ensure that he gets the girl no matter how hard she plays to get and that means a lot of maturity have to come from his part is presenting and conveying his feelings to her thereby making the girl feel a little comfortable when they enter the relationship.

ElRazur:
I think from the story, the girl clearly have strong emotional feeling for the Ex, and as such willing to do anything to win him back. Surely, it is not about how well the Ex had sex with her etc. It must be something deeply rooted and one side of me think it may be pure love. . . but in like a perverted sense if you see what I mean.

I am not sure if it is a fair comparison to make between this, and a motherly love. . . that the mum is willing to do anything to protect her own. Or in a more simple view, is she afraid of rejection? [The girl that is]

Yes I see what you mean. She has strong feelings for the guy perhaps she thinks she can make herself look like she could sacrifice anything to show him she loves him dearly, in a perverted sense yes. But the question is could she have done this out of ignorance? I don't think so. Can someone else life be equated to her love affair? No. Why didn't she think if the guy really loved her he didn't have to beat someone else up? Don't you think there might be a great possibility that the guy have blustered her maybe with her weapon or threatened to hurt both herself and the deceased if she didn't give him up for punishment?

Kunbee:
1.Ok
2.Try explaining 2 him wat love is and no i wont date u until u get beta lyrics

And what kind of lyrics might that be? "you're hotter than the sun" _{tales by the moonlight}

But seriously before a lady even agrees to have a relationship with a guy who professes to like her, he has to state beyond any shadow of doubts what he likes about her personality and why-- then the lady can start to give it consideration. I think that can revamp the value attached to ladies in Nigeria by guys. It's disheartening to know that when you tell Nigerian girls you love them, they feel a rush of hormones in them and the next thing, they start reciprocating the gesture. Ask me, a guy tells a girl he loves her and in the next 3 days she tells him the same is never humanly possible, not even by magic but by misunderstanding, misinformation and deceit, yes it is and that poses a problem to how Nigerian guys are seen by the westerners which the poster is trying to let us understand even if they mean it so differently from deceit.

sistawoman:
that is exactly correct and that is why they get dissed so hard by American Women. Those that are not chickenheads dont fall for the hype and dismiss them as being shady when I know that most really are not.

sistawoman:
I see from your posts that you believe that works in 9ja.*

But when you travel out of the country like the USA then why continue to think like that.  Why would you toast the American girls the same as you toast the 9ja girls w/o doing your proper research to see how they should be toasted.  Is there a problem with 9ja men changing their ways?  Or is their way or the highway type of mentality?

*this is yet to be determined until I hear from the 9ja women.

That is what I was trying to say when the other dude accused me of painting my country black. They have been so deep rooted in this acts that they think it's just norm. But the truth still is these girls won't take you serious if you tell them you like them, however, I'm not ruling out the possibility that guys may not have been presenting the "like" assertion in the rightful manner thus not making the girls get acquainted with that.

ElRazur:
The price of oil barrel and all that jazz.

I think we may be going off-topic. My focus is as to why this act was done in the name of love. Or perhaps someone can shed more light on it. . .etc.

Out of love for McLean? That's a deeply rooted stupidity. I don't really expect much from those kids anyways, they start cheating at such early age because perhaps their parents have done the same -- I hope I ain't drifting off topic. If not, I will press on.

Kingsleyinfo:
Nigerians use words out o context,
imagine my aunty telling me yesterday that i'm self centered just because
i stayed on the computer a little bit too much, and forgot to do some chores
since when did love for something become self centeredness, anyway thats beside the point,
the truth remains that you cannot love what you don't know,
when i was growing up i found it difficult to use the word love for a lady,
i've not fallen in love with, but then i realised that i got turned down for,
telling the truth, so i joined the chorus,
most ladies would rather you tell them I LOVE YOU which could be a lie than, I LIKE YOU AND WOULD LOVE TO KNOW YOU MORE.
SO therefore you simply give what belongs to ceaser to ceaser, if that's what they want to hear then they'll hear lots of it
after all i don't have to pay for it,
na me wan die as monk,

Exactly what I'm saying. Tell them you like them and they'll take you for a player out to hurt to them, say you love them and they will start smiling as the sun does to the earth.

Treachery propagates from when one is young and this is just one of the occurrences. There are worse acts going on all over the world. What do you say about a man, who says he loves his wife, yet wakes up one morning kill his wife and his children? Weird things are going on and people have to clearly understand that.

Kunbee:
Anywayz sha i think the love these dudes talk about is more than like and less than love but dont know how 2 express themselves thereby say love cos if u say u like a girl is like saying well whateva i want u as a friend and not a gf its like asking a gal out without asking her out i hope i am making sense sha anywayz its all these uni boys dat make alot of that mistake

How about saying it like this: 'I like you and most probably love personality so far as I've seen, how about we be in a relationship and hopefully we will come to love each other, if patience permits?" Might not be the perfect starting line but does show some respect from your part to the lady's as well as it conveys your exact thoughts and feelings at present that you like her and looking forward to loving her.

sistawoman:
What I am trying to help you see is the preception of deceit and shadiness that most Westerners feel towards our African brothas and that this is just one example of how that is further perpetrated.

I am trying to open a dialogue about causes the misuse of English words and how that can be corrected?

That's the stigma. Failure to put the right words together and the westerners start to see us as being shady or deceitful and there's no helping that because they were raised to understand the proper use of the language at every instance. But that was back in the day. Nowadays, guys know the difference but some still say it to sway girls, arising from strong conviction that's what they want to hear-- some have gone too deep in it that they go about doing it to all girls but it's left to the girl concerned to discern what the guy is trying to say to her and do what she feels. As for it being corrected, I think people are starting to learn and it's gradually changing, albeit, it takes a lot to extricate people from what they have been made to believe since they were kids.

Kunbee:
Of course he doesnt love cos he doesnt know me, and i will tell him na wa u dey waste ur love and besides no one can tell me dat my broda niggaz dey look face den dey find their level and class Tongue, but there are some chics out there who believe that shit and i have enough gf in which dats how dere relationship started

That is exactly what I'm saying. Now do we say that these girls are naive or were just swayed by what they wanted to hear? Believe me, every woman wants to be loved and none would take exception to that, nonetheless most girls always fall for the word "love" as you can deduce from how to go on with the gist among their friends and all. I'm still of the opinion that most native languages can't be directly translated to English Language otherwise it'll totally mean something else. Notably, I agree that most Nigerian ethnic languages don't put a yardstick between like and love but with the education we have on the prowl, we should be able to tell the difference and attach that to our feelings.

Kunbee:
In school dey teach these things its now up 2 d student 2 understand or not, i think those guys say love cos dey are trying to make the ladies excited not knowing its a stupid way 2 do so

But are you also aware of the possibility that some guys even though they can differentiate the two, still go ahead and tell a girl they love her when they clearly know it's not true? And do you these girls believe that because most of them are watching Nollywood blockbusters? That might sound overrated but it is true(that can be attributed to most girls who still can't put a distinction between both). Let's take you for instance, if a guy meets for you the first time and the next thing he starts saying is he loves you, what'd you say? That he's so right? That he truly loves you?

gen2genius:
I sometimes find it hard to understand what some men think they stand to gain when they say things like this. In the first place, are you trying to gain the approval of the womenfolk by making baseless generalisations about men? Some of us mistake being smarmy for being candid. Is it only men that "trample" on people's emotions? Even women that claim to know the real meaning of love, don't they use the word deceitfully? Don't they use it when they don't mean it? It appalls me when we jettison logic and allow sentiments to becloud our reasoning. So not knowing the difference between "love" and "like" makes men take women for granted. Are the women imbeciles? If a man tells a woman he loves her when they barely know each other and she believes him, who is the real slowpoke? Why do we fuss over frivolities and tussle over trivialities. We're making an issue out of nothing. If she feels he's not using the word properly, she's not compelled to respond. It's his right to express himself, however he thinks appropriate, and it's her right to react to the expression the way she interprets it. Simple! Why the much ado about nothing? Haba!

And the comment about private and public school is not totally correct. Some products of public schools are far better than those of private schools. I attended public primary and secondary schools in a real slum. But I performed better than most of my counterparts from private schools in the university. And there many other people like me. So, stop making questionable generalisations about Nigerian men and Nigerian schools.

American men don't come to African forums to say derogatory things about their people. And women don't go about saying nasty things about themselves to please any man. I wonder why ours has to be different - anything to make us look like "learned gentlemen"

I didn't speak in generalization for all men and not to get applauds from the the women-fold for all reason -- I was only stating what is commonly true and what can be found based on 90 of every 100 instances. She asked if their egocentric thinking is peeping its heads up which I told her that some men don't care to know the difference and that tells when they mix up like for love and what happens next is that they, on a very funny belief that like means love, start to misbehave-- I know that was off topic but hey it was correct- better yet I can't start to generalize all men because for one reason or the other everything can't complete a 100% cycle.

About the private and public school, yes I do agree with you that there are public school students who are doing 200% better than private school students. I still know some dullards from private schools and I know very many academically sharp kids from public schools but we all know that it can be certified that 90% of private school kids are better than the minority 40% from public schools and that absolutely depends on the kind of public schools. There are a few states in Nigeria that I know that have very many teachers who aren't even qualified to teach let alone teach English Language, newsflash, they do and what's the government doing about it? Nothing! I don't want to delve into that. One thing also, is that, no matter how rotten people might think she has been and still is, I still love Nigeria and always will and I can't derogatorily speak about my country not for anyone, not for any reason -- I'm a NAIJA for life and nothing can change that even if I possess another citizenship, Nigeria will always run in my blood. Sorry if my earlier comment struck a nerve but contrary to what you thought, I wasn't trying to impress anyone, not even to the detriment of my country's image. There's no point trying to flying the "slowpoke" comment. We aren't up here for a hot disagreement but to share views.

Kunbee:
Thanks 2 gen2genius for clearing the public and private school statement, i cant believe Theseeker made such a statement

I didn't generalize. I only said what I've majorly encountered and yes, you can agree with me, if not on here but in your heart, that most private school kids are better than public schools' but that's not saying there aren't any public schools' product who are way better than private schools'