₦airaland Forum

muffins:
I don't think it's possible considering the fact that most of the men here are scammers.

Ever been scammed on Nairaland?

;d ;d ;d ;d

Kanye west, you're a confused fool. You have been going about bashing igbo women for no reason other than your stench stupidity and you have the guts and stupid balls to spew nonsense out your mosquito-sized-washed-brain that someone insulted Edo women? Not that Amaka doesn't bash anyway, but that's by the way for now; but you coming here to make this empty noise about the slurring of Edo women (which I don't think Amaka did going by her quoted statement), you must be suffering from a severe brain damage.

Amaka, if no one wants to get bashed, they should talk with the right use of their brains. These western women you talk about, do they talk like some foolish girls on here talk? No! Are they the same way opinionated like these western women? No! Some of those who get bashed almost, at all times, get on the nerve of people; I'm not saying it's the right thing to do but it has to be understandable that our tolerance limit can be strained sometimes and when some people lose it, someone has to get it. Simple!

End the relationship, she's a lying bitch!

N101:
I'm curious as to your suggestions to resolve the issue of an unapologetic spouse.  Walk out?  Shout at them? Pray it out of them?  Get family - who may be equally as bad - involved?  Marriage isn't about revenge, but  some people need to learn the hard way, it's not for me to do what their parents or society failed to instill in them.  People sometimes apologise as a way to get you off their back but don't mean it.  Is that a better option?

Unfortunately there are too many immature people in relationships with unrealistic expectations.  One would expect people to go into marriage with their eyes open, but, if some of the marital problems I've read about on NL are anything to go by, too many people get married for all the wrong reasons.  Some of those you have highlighted (lack of openness, honesty etc).  Remember, you are dealing with a fellow human being whose frailties may not be your own. 

There is a time to apologise when you aren't at fault, and a time for people to learn the hard way without  intervention.  When it does happen it's not to resolve it by saying "I told you so", that is adding fuel to the fire, sometimes you have to be there to help pick up the pieces.  At the end of the day, being in a good marriage is about good and clear communication, some learn how to do it, some will struggle. 

Pimping or being a husband, your choice.

I didn't say exactly to walk out or yell on your partner. Yes, some people need to learn the hard way, unfortunately I can't argue that properly. A lot of people get married for the wrong reasons because most of them don't even know what they want (you can visualize a situation where a woman says she's in love with two men as if 'love' is some cheap word). I totally understand where you're coming from, but most times I think marriage ought to be peaceful, that's not to say there won't be times when we disagree but it should be like an unusual raucous and not such that it keeps happening the same time over and over again only for a reason.

I believe in communication - heart to heart communication - in a relationship. This is what it takes to understand the stance of who you're dealing with because you both aren't bound to have the same charisma and characters, of course, they differ and you've got to check the differences out and work out a solution and that can only be achievable by communicating with all honesty and openness.

I don't believe a breakup is the solution to every problem in a relationship but when communication can't solve it, then I don't believe anything else will. Patience lasts and deteriorates after a while, but communication can put a stop to many mishaps, if done in all honesty and cooperation, oneness and openness.

But a situation where this fails, breakup is the next thing to consider as an option. Life is too short than spend it all in an unhealthy relationship. There are lots of people out there who deserve better partners, I think it's best to find those than spend it with someone who's always controversial.

kanye West:
Yoruba Girls are far far better than Ibo girls in a relationship. They are smarter, better looking, more sophisticated and more exposed to western lifestyles than those konk Igbotic yellow tuber yam legs akpu eating animalistic Ibo greedy female cows from the east.

The only problem i have with Yoruba Girls are the ones from Ondo and Ekiti. They are a pretty lot but very stubborn which can be quite annoying atimes but they are 500 billion times better than any Greedy Ibo female scum bag!

I don't know why Bakassi had to be the poor hapless good people of Cross rivers The whole of the east should have been under bakassi so that Naija will just banish those whoring ibotic girls to cameroon and the cameroon gendarmes should have had a field day flogging their lives out for Insolence and greed!

Stupid Shit heads!

How long will you constantly represent the stupidity and depraving insanity you inherited from your family and generation?

E jowo mo gba'rinrin de, eyin sonmonri oni faaji
E jowo mo gba'rinrin de, eyin sonmonri oni faaji
Ti'na ba de, okunkun ni lati salo o, ina ran ta lo ma jo

E f'eti si bi, e bere ke mujo ina ran, ina ran,
oku omo ti o t'owo bo eru ina ran
eb'idi wuke, e m'owo kan sori, e m'owo kan si bebere idi ki emi a jo lo
Lolo mi dakun dakun jo, sunmo mi dakun dakun baby mi, ko rotate patapata

B'obinrin ba dara bi o ni wa, bo ba gba kobo kan abo, mi o le fe
B'obinrin ba dara bi o ni wa, bo ba gba kobo kan abo, mi o le fe

B'obinrin ba n'iwa tutu to tun rewa, mo le fi one thousand fe

Jaye jaye e ba wa jo e ba wa yo
e m'owo kan so ke ke f'ijo be


Haruna Isola.

If a man turns abusive against you, are your throat hands gagged tied to type a response?

N101:
Those people who are saying "walk" have either never been married nor in a long term relationship.  Most people wouldn't/cannot just "walk" from a marriage when they have physically and emotionally invested so much into it. 

Years ago I used to hear people saying: "if you can't hear you must feel".  So in this case, if a spouse refuses to say sorry, I would wait because I know a time will come when they will make a serious error and I won't be there to pick up the pieces.  When it all starts falling apart and they start looking for someone to blame rather than to take responsibility, I will do like my friend Rooneyboy and go about my business and let them suffer alone.

So long as I wasn't implicated and they messed things up for themselves, not my problem.  It's all fine and good to pray for people, often their pride and arrogance is a stumbling block, and that is really what stops people from apologising when they've done something wrong.  I'm not one for revenge but in this case they will have to learn the hard way.

A marriage where you've invested physically and emotionally is only expected to be fair, if not best to your taste. When something goes wrong in a marriage, it's supposed to be worked out or it'll break the marriage - although you may not realize it immediately but these things degenerate to crackdown marriages.

Your partner not ready to take responsibilities for whatever he/she does speaks ill of them. It shows lack of respect for your own emotions; depicts excessive and haughty pride; a quarrelsome creature, and lots more. If you're in a marriage and you choose to put some things 'behind' you - issues that requires address - then your marriage is heading for a doom because a time will come when you will have it up to here.

A marriage where you have the mind to take revenge is a healthy marriage? A marriage you put up so much effort into will be a kind where you're promoting internal and in-built differences? Where is the understanding? Where's the openness? Where's the respect for each other's opinion? Where's the honesty? If taking revenge later is what marriage is all about then I'd just be a love-vendor rather than be a husband.

Nice piece of work, LK.

anddrewz:
Well I am married to one of such persons who never say sorry, can you imagine in our 12 years  of marriage my wife never say sorry, because she always assume i am the one that is always at fault, even if her action brought about the problem.  And she will not mind living with me in the house like cat and dog, everyone on his own, even for one week, she will not apologize until I do the apology even if she was the one at fault just for peace to reign in the home. She has never looked for a way to resolve any misunderstanding in the relationship, it is like she enjoy it when we quarrel.

In such a case what can one do?

One important thing you have to note in every relationship and/or marriage is that you will at some point, have disagreements - some mild, some vehement - but getting past it is what matters, and just how are you going to be able to achieve a peaceful relationship when your partner claims to be holistic and never at fault? For me, I don't think that's possible. A woman's supposed to be apologetic, so is a man, as long as you've done something wrong or been an accomplice to something that went wrong. Undoubtedly, you can apologize even if you're not at fault (I have seen women who do this), so putting up with a woman who always believes she's right when she's on the wrong is the wrongest and the most pathetic relationship you can ever be in.

When fracas breaks in, someone has to be responsible and putting off the blame off you and heaping it on me will just so not work for us because I'm leaving immediately. Not that apology really means a lot that much but as I see it, every motive towards an action counts. For instance, if you tell me sorry for the sake of just telling me and not that it comes from your heart, I will not consider it an apology but a scorn. It's got to be heartfelt. I think you need to sit your wife down and talk to her. Let her understand what it is all about and express your displeasure - and you have to note that there's a huge gap of differential traits between a stubborn and egocentric woman and a determined woman.

We're the best guys in the world.

No girl will go out with Dangote and come back to tell you that shit! First of all, if she didn't have the intention of anything going down between them both, why did she go on the date? Some girl sef

I want a very loud wedding!

chelseabmw:
@Theseeker,
Do u mean chinese ninja??

Yes, Chinese or Korean ninja.

platinumnk:
i no be ninja

How do you know your not?

Magz, got your solution?

Chinchin2pimp, how do you know?

Nigerian babes are the best.

Only if I could see any sensible reason to be given to this one. I mean, there are things that you'll need advice about but this? It's below the belt, if I may say. It's just the same as a woman asking why men are flocking around her - personally, I don't see nothing wrong in women flooding around a man if he got his game tight and going; and if a man decides to seek advice about that, then I'll just say  

Na today women don dey fall for person? Abeg! Lots of dudes on here get lots of hits from ladies, so what? There's nothing you can do about it, and it makes no sense - in my opinion - bringing it up to a forum like this. Considering the way you post on NL, I don't think this should have been up from you unless you were posting it for someone else, which was what I thought.

^^ How are you sure she won't bail out with any of those Lebanese men in Cotonou?

I wouldn't call putting wealth before feelings - love (if it exists in their minds at all), marrying up or marrying well. It is what it is - gold digging. Like I said, Asian women will pretend to have fallen in love within a two-day encounter and once you're trapped with their innocence talks and all that, you're jammed!

Oyinda, I'm not stereotyping Asian women as being gold diggers, but I mentioned them in relevance to Nigerian women being tagged gold diggers, when in fact, most Asian women are money mongers.

Hey LK, post the progress here . . . . I am waiting I need the address for the bottle of ACE

I told you!!! I told you!!!! I told you!!!!! Now, can we get the party started?!

Congrats bruv. I knew it was going to happen that way. Thanks to God, thanks to nairaland, thanks to everybody. More and more news should come soon.

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=343812.msg4819586#msg4819586 date=1256769748]lol @seeker. you seem to really have an agenda against asian women. I'm sorry but i'm forced to think that your pissed off at them because they refuse your advances. jk  I mean I don't see any problem in the way they do their things. They are not forcing the men to marry them are they?
same with white women or black women. whatever motive they have to being with a guy, I don't think they force the men to the altar.

but I do agree that women who place the most priority on the material aspect of a relationship are just  


but to be honest though, I wouldn't stereotype asian women as "gold-diggers" I think it's just part of their culture for the family to prefer their daughters to marry up. Trust me i'm a girl and am very close friends with a few and understand the pressure their parents put on them to marry a relatively well off guy. I have a friend who is currently fighting with her mom right now because her mom doesn't like her boyfriend. the reason being that he is not as smart or well to do as her.  so, It's really a cultural thing to be fair.


anyways on a sidenote, this world is so sexist. nothing wrong with a man going after a woman with big booty and pretty face but there is something wrong with women going after a man with a relatively solid financial status. what a double standard. lollol[/quote]I don't have issues with them, seriously. I think you're missing my point - I'm trying to state that Nigerian girls shouldn't be stereotyped as the kinds that mess up or always want to hang out with rich folks only, in fact, it's moderate with Nigerian girls. I made the Asian example because theirs is just worse, I mean very very worse. I know they aren't forcing the men to the altar but they got games they play with men's minds. Talk with an Asian girl today, as long as you're an American, the next day she'll claim to love you - I'm not exaggerating, I'm being very serious. I'm talking from things I've seen and experience I've had.

Try women from Philippines, Korea, Japan, China, Singapore (but very few of them here because most women from this place are workaholics), Malaysia (they abound in UK), etc.


Money is hard to come by, big booties are natural. They are two and too different

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=343812.msg4819322#msg4819322 date=1256765811]I don't understand you. Basically these Asian women are transporting their culture to the US. they are not imitating american culture.
In their culture, probably the idea of marriage is for sustainment rather than strictly for love. I have an asian friend who told me this too. they try to marry a guy who is well off so that they can have a good life in the future. I don't see any bad thing in that. I mean men also select women who they find most attractive so why can't women seek out men they find most successful?
I think the idea of "love love and love only" is mostly american.  [/quote]I'm not sure of what to say about the emboldened part but I sure hope you're joking. Love is universal thing and not limited to some race or set of people. If you ask me, not most american women fall in love for the sake of love itself - if you get down to the true meaning of love, it cuts across a lot of areas than people can ever anticipate. A woman that tells you she loves you in the morning and all of a sudden in the evening something else happens and she starts to say stuff like she doesn't know if she loves you anymore and you call that love? If that's love, I'm going to pass and be a player.

There's nothing wrong in seeking comfort - everyone does - but not where you have to make it a priority. You only need to witness what I'm saying and you can see how disgustingly unappealing these Asian women are when it comes to getting married. I mean, I throw lots of respect at Nigerian women in some aspects when compared to Asian women. One thing I know for sure is it'll never happen in Nigeria that a woman will have kids for her husband and go abroad to get married to another man, seek divorce with the husband at home and want to run away with the kids, unless the man is a permanent and unrepentant dunce.

Nigerian women are saints when compared to Asian women in gold digging; at least we do it better and wiser than them and sometimes we do have feelings for these people. Come to California and see what these women are up to, but unfortunately for them, UK men are wiser now and know better hence, their decrement in population in England, but check out their population in California and Texas - especially California - you will be amazed.

Aisha, I have sent you the e-mail. I shall be awaiting your response.

Who cares if he eats or not. Just how many people have died purportedly from the loots they've made away with? How many people's business have been turned into a fatal and permanent wreck because of their greed? Who cares anyways. I, personally, wouldn't subscribe to a 28-year jail term. He should have been slapped with 44 years and all his assets confiscated.

Or yamming

Ujujoan:
Yea right!! How can you date a married woman without knowing. That's what I call denial my friend!

She's a very young pretty thing, didn't even know she's married and she didn't tell me.