₦airaland Forum

chimerase2:
I was 21 wen I gained admission into de univ
4 years leta I came out
So using the almighty formula with the new year in sight
With dis egbon u can easily calculate ma total age

Thank u

Ahhhh

Gained admission at 16 in 2008
Graduated last year

So do the math, Uncle Chime ..... Better go marry and stop dragging Nairaland with shidren like me

chimerase2:
egbon ni yi jawe

Pishure of your birth certificate or.....


You tink say I be like you wey don clock 27 before e get Admission

And with this kind of hair, she will expect a God-fearing man to approach her


GOD SEF DEY FEAR HER


*pours petrol on thread, speaks in tongues for forty days, and sets the girl's head ablaze

tosyne2much:
Nice one jawe my egbon

Tani egbon re?

Don't curse me with old age wey never catch me o... Am not even 23 yet

englishmart:
and you are back. Did you spend 2years on ban?

the powers that be let me off early... I am on parole, Buh I guess they watching me closely sha

Ok

#bakfromban

Op on point as usual

Make I contribute small to him Ministry...


1- The ones that will send their younger sibling to call u... These ones will always be like, "Ebuka, run go call that babe for me... Tell am say your Oga wan see am''

2- The ones who will toast you through your Pastor... These ones will be like, ''Daddy, The Lord has revealed to me that Sister Ini Edo is my missing rib... Please can you help me contact her and tell her to ask God to confirm my Vision'' ... Bros go siddon jor, na your pen*s dey give you nonsense vision... Better go buy Alomo and Vaseline so that you can masturb*te energetically, and discharge all that excess akamu which is clogging up your reasoning capabilities

3- The ones who will endear themselves to your mother or father... They will portray themselves to be so well-behaved, nice, and promising, that it's your mum who will be actually toasting you on their behalf... That's when mums will be like, 'Rose, Boniface is such a nice and promising young man... He is not like all those pencil trousered, lean and hungry-looking boys that you hang out with every time ... Better get someone like Boniface, before one of those useless boys gets you pregnant, thus bringing disgrace upon this family'


DISCLAIMER- I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHATEVER I POST IN THIS SEXTION...


#pleasedontban

Ok

Since the Op has started the aluta, let's go there .... ALUTA CONTINUA, VICTORIA ASCERTA!!!


4 features of Nairaland Aristos...110% accurate like bullet from actor's Gun!!

1- They form relationship experts in this section... They are always online, advising and counselling, even at odd hours of the night... In some cases they may even present themselves to be married ... Hmm... All the character laundery and marital skelewu, is just to increase their online commercial worth, and attract the best of 'chairmen'... After all, men have always been known to madly desire that which seems to be so perfect, yet beyond their grasp. This kind of 'scope' is the hardest not to fall for.. But na God go save man pikin

2- Always viewing but never commenting in the Property and Car sections.... Those sections na dia own online hotel, where they go to seek out potential chairmen... Once they see you make a business comment on a G-wagon or some exotic property, they will track you down in other sections, and corner you into exchanging contacts with them.

3- Always having only face and bust pishures as their dp. This is most likely because the other parts have been sexually battered beyond redemption. But, business must continue.. So Marykay, concealers, and iron bras are brought in to mitigate the commercial disaster, and present a misleading signboard to potential 'Chairmen'


4- Any moniker with an '(f)' that quotes me negatively...




DISCLAIMER- I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHATEVER I POST IN THIS SEXTION...


#pleasedontban

Ok

Ok

Op has smoked some wet weed...



Get well soon bro

All this grammar and diagram because of toto?


Since when did konji become this complicated?


Op, you really need to calm down...


Life no hard reach all this one na

Op, you didn't do well at all

We dudes are supposed to cover up for each other..... I understand your house isn't a pornn theatre, but these are little things that friends do for friends.... He just wan use your house 'settle' one babe codedly, na im you fall him hand kpatakpata....

delishpot:
You did well. Abeg let him carry his ogbanje and move on jare. Who knows what that babe would have done swf. Maybe steal you stuff too.
Abegi, let him park make you drive ya hummer go front.
He should go rent a small LovePeddler joint and be taking his women there.

If na you be the babe, shey you go follow am go the 'small ashaawo joint'?

Don't encourage what you might find hard doing

And so

The Revelation of Oluwa, according to Saint Boniface Tinubu

Know ye all men, that these 2 signs shall surely follow them that believe


1- He impregnateth thee, the baby refuseth to abort, and thy parents sendeth thee out of the house.. Sister, Jehovah hath just approved your marriage ministry.

2- Whenever he fucketh thee, thy monthly period is always easier and faster. Sister, that's a Celestial approval of his husbandship.


If one of these two things ever happeneth to thee, Thou shall give thanks to Yahweh, and enter into thy marriage with songs of joy.

Another attention-seeker has joined Nairaland
As if we don't have enough already...

Registered yesterday, already hating today

Hope 'she' isn't one of the disgraced Romanceland woman-wrappers, who has deemed it fit to resurrect as a girl, and exact her pound of flesh

Op, eye-service no go help you.... You no fit see Husband for here....

AND NO, NONE OF US HERE CAN BUY YOU A G-WAGON!!!

Dude, nice remix

But please put your sources... This definitely isn't new...

The babe standing beside the bride in the 3rd pishure tho

Her cute dimple is seriously affecting my temperature... ... Nwanyin Oma


Btw


Hapi married life to the newlyweds......

If you have no pressing financial obligations, please feel free to pursue your dreams. I just hope your course of choice is worth all the wahala.

But if you have been sent by your parents to school with the expectation that you will graduate, get a good job, and take over financial responsibility for your siblings, please don't be selfish.... Get a job and start attending to your responsibilities... If you are lucky to have a good job, you can still engage in part-time studies to fulfill your dream...


At 23, it is also advisable that you don't attend a federal university, where ASUU strikes and internal strife may turn a four year course into a 6 or 7 year course... Unless you aim to employ thyself, employers of these days mostly don't employ fresh graduates who are above 25... Of course you can also do what almost everybody is doing these days.... Swear to a new affidavit of Declaration of Age, and acquire a brand-new age

Point is, get your priorities right, and ponder on the absolute necessity of your chosen course of action.

Ok


She acquires bowleg, because her private park has become a trailer park

She gets to know that alum is used to tighten the Vaginal muscles.... Na so she go carry alum wan finish her kitten


They start keeping a mental sex diary, recording the various sizes,length and capabilities of the different joysticks they have hosted... Thus they might leave an otherwise capable and caring dude, just because his instrument has failed to live up to their expectation


When they get pregnant, they become at a loss as to who the father of the baby is, since she cannot be quite sure which of the dudes she has donated to scored the 'golden goal' ...... Na so she go come put the allegation on the richest or dumbest of her many 'strikers'.

Best Graduating Student of Cossy Ojiarkor Academy...



This one has added variety to the menu... With Cossy it was mostly just titties...

Waooo

Regular exercise really pays... See how fit and delectable she looks


All these pot-bellied Nairaland girls should please take note

Ok

Summary of the story:

An expired celebrity has taken advantage of an unfortunate but common event, to get himself noticed Let him enjoy the cheap attention while it lasts

Btw

When is the police going to apologize to other unpopular victims of police harassment and brutality?

Or is the protection of law only meant for celebrities?

Ok

Another list from the gods

Note taken and list filed for future reference...



With the many lists I have seen and read in this section, I can confidently open and manage a Marriage and Romance Counselling Center....

DR WELLINGTON TINUBU, THE LOVE MECHANIC, MARRIAGE DOCTOR, SEX EXPERT, INTERNATIONAL CONSULTANT ON FUCKOLOGY AND EMOTIONAL STRUGGLE.

Moral of the story...

Ugly circumstances don't necessarily creat ugly hearts....

Btw

The story isn't complete now.... Bovi missed out the part where she deflowered him.

Nice marketing strategy



She too has to buy a G-wagon


Marykay, concealer, padded bra, scary eye-brows and eye-contacts, gaudy tattoo and Jewellery... The complete Aristo package


G-wagon 2015

ireneony:
am still schooling...well i have a blog
am bothered about u

I am still schooling too... And I have already submitted my online articles for the week.... So I have finished my Job

Go complete your blog, and stop stalking and quoting me

ireneony:
yiou nor de go work

You wey dey work, how much you don get?

demelza:
Why are you not in the politics section? Have you been banned?

No Sir

I like to consider myself a 'jack of all trade'

Become her personal adviser/comforter...


1- If she get bele.... Comfort her, and become a daddy figure to the baskad baby

2- If her boyfriend hurts her, comfort her and take up the mantle of 'assistant boyfriend'

3- Whenever she is on her period, comfort her throughout all the times of stomach pain and unending mood swings....


Summary is, be her Holy Ghost, and you will surely get to the promised land