₦airaland Forum

candidbabe:
Are these humans?
didn't they have food to eat
Gosh they look like ghosts.
Nawaaa for yoruba people.

Now this is very dumb.Have you ever heard of congenital abnormalities/deformities?

Dcholeric:
sorry I said it as it should be, you have the choice to state your advice but you don't have the privilege to decide who is the wheat and who is the chaff.

if a grown up and educated person sees children as chaff, then am sorry to tell you that even with the "good boy" you are claiming she will never see you as the wheat but the chaff

and you know what?
I will support her 100% if she sees you as dirt.
nonsense.

if she sees me as dirt,I will understand.I want you to see her from her point of view and not your point of view.She has some challenges and is seeking solutions to it.
It's not about being a 'good boy',it's about being in a position of a solution provider,a therapist.What will you do if you had to sit with psychiatric patients(not saying the Op is) and listen to what they say?Will you curse them out?
I hope you read what she said about your comment and how it could make someone take their life.Is that what you desire?
I'm not reprimanding you,just trying to make you see from where she's coming from.She's admitted she has challenges.

preshuzpearl:
I had an okay upbringing. A very religious one so there were no issues with parent squabble

Don't mind dcholeric's comment.On this site,you will have to sieve the wheat from the chaff.
I asked if you've ever had a relationship with a boyfriend?

5minsmadness:
I wouldnt say she is depressed. More of antisocial behavioural type C, or paranoia secondary to post traumatic stress disorder. Such people are shy, reserved, not interested in social mingling, might view others as discussing or thinking about them in a negative light, exceedingly apathetic i.e they don't care at all , or exceedingly empathetic i.e they care too much.


Its not a mental illness pls. Just a social dysfunction.

You could be right but she obviously needs help.

Preshuzpearl,have you ever had a boyfriend?

Amelian:
In my own opinion, why would u think of telling yur family abt her past? Her past is between u and her, which she confided in total trust. U know how Nigerians are, one of yur family memebers will definitely use that truth abt her bn divorced 2 scorn her someday, and trust me, u will definitely be in d miDdle.
Both man and woman, will leave their families and live as one. Your family will not live with you. Family intereference in one's life stops as soon as one is married.
U owe them , no explanation that she's divorced , pls accept her.

Seriously?!
May God never let my children grow up to keep things like this from me.By God's grace,I'll raise them up to know whatever advice or opinion I have is in their best interest.

Introduce the lady to your family,give them time to know her.Then find a way to let them know her status.
If you really love her,you will have to 'fight' to convince them that she is the one you really want to settle down with.
You said she told you she was divorced after about a year into the relationship?That bothers me.Why did she keep this for so long?

^^^This works.
What you use to shave also matters.Avoid shaving sticks if you can.

Op,did you grow up with your parents and was there harmony between them?

I peeked at your profile and I can conclude you are showing early signs of depression.

Hmmm.He's been brainwashed.
I hope he won't be further fed with filth while in prison.I hope he comes out reformed.

Are you male or female?
What part of the country are you marrying from?
Which family are you marrying from?etc

These things and more determine how much YOUR wedding would cost.

Hardheolar:
choi, some nlders ehn... ow on earth did u know he hasn't paid her bride price. .

Did you read the Op before quoting me?Avez vous comprenez?

Guy,why you no go meet her parents pay her bride price?

Ladies and attention.If money no dey to spend too,the man go dey warm bench.

judoskybj:
I go to school from home,am a part time student.
At the age of 26,I don't deserve to be shouted at all the time.
The best my parents should do for me is to advise and guide me.

You're right that they shouldn't shout at you.Unfortunately,this is Africa where parents believe they have total control over children under them.
Try and talk respectfully with them each time and reassure them that they have nothing to worry about.
You have endured it all these while and you will soon be free of them.
Just be patient.

judoskybj:
Tanks for the reply,I hardly keep friends.am always in my room when am at home either reading or playing video games.

okay,your parents may just be apprehensive.I'll say you just endure it till you graduate and get your independence.
Do you go to school from home?

If you had not given your parents any reason to be suspicious,they wouldn't think you might be involved in something bad.It might not be you but the friends you keep.

Since you say you are in your final year,why don't you endure whatever it is and be of the best behaviour till you graduate.Once you go for NYSC,you can enjoy your freedom.

What do you mean by quick and articulating?Are you saying with his present status,he has not done enough for himself?
You're still in school and have a lot of dreams and drive but do you realise the 'outside' working world is a different game altogether?
If you're still young and you don't have to get married soon,maybe you should get into the working world and test the waters first.

If you really want to help her,then tell her to get her husband tested too.

Pray for them regularly.

You have no role to play with your spam in their marriage.

SAMBARRY:
No matter what 2lives are more inestimable than 450k.the highest the hospital management should have done was to treat her 1st.once she has fully recuperated, they shouldn't discharge her.keep her down with security around her monitoring her movement till her family members or whoever comes with the money the following day or whenever they bring the money. That doctor is just unreasonable




by the way where are the naira land doctors. I know they will avoid this thread like a leprous patient

This is what most hospitals do.There may be situations that won't make them take this option too.
We really can't say what transpired at the hospital apart from the account we have here which is the husband's account of events.

Having both parents in a union,and not just a union but one of love,respect and responsibility is the ideal.A child ought to learn and grow under the tutelage of both parents.However,some circumstances may not make this position possible.

I really don't think any lady will set out to be a single mother.Most ladies who do are often people who have had situations in their lives(broken homes,heartbreaks,divorce,loss of partners,etc)that brought them to point of choosing to go it alone.

No matter the circumstance,the proper growth(physically,morally,mentally) of the child/ren should be the ultimate.
You are correct Op that most will tend to be too attached to their kids to their disadvantage when they grow up.It's left to the single mother to know when to let go.

sheunfemix: kk o. Take care of ur little princess o. Me I'm on #teamnobreastmilk# till after 4 mnths

What do you mean by #teamnobreastmilk# till after 4mths?

Bigsteveg: Lecturer, he has being managing the situation since, I don't remember reading him asking for ur advice

where are you from?Were you not taught to respect your elders?

egopersonified: It is always advisable to give birth where you attended ante-natal classes, that way you have details of what you are up against when it is time to deliver the baby. Once you present your card, they take you straight to the labour room without even asking for money in some cases. Some hospitals even ask you to buy pints of blood before the d-day for unforeseen complications that might arise. I just feel sorry for the husband for losing a wife and child and I think this might haunt him for life. Imagine losing two loved ones because of just 300k.

This is more like it.You are very unlikely to have issues this way.You have an idea ahead what you are up against when it is time and what the fees are.
A patient can't just present in a private hospital as an unbooked case for C/S and not expect a huge sum deposit.

rozzay: My dear, almost all d ones I've seen o, one time I had tooth ache I went to a clinic , the tootn was killing me I just nided it out as I reach dere my money short like 1k dem no gree, saying I shuld come bak wen it was complete knowing dat I cudnt make it bak dat day cos f d distance even d pains f jumping bus with dat pain nd going bak home to sleep with it. Which I eventually did. So its wat I saw na em I dey talk dat nd oda experiences which I can't start saying

Okay,this was one bad experience but it still can't fall into the category of most.I'm sure you can't buy a UTME form if you are N1k short.They won't sell to you.The private hospital setting should not be any different.
The public hospital system is different.The government has made some services free and others subsidised.You could even get waivers on some treatments.People should just know the difference and where to go.

rozzay: My sis I guess u r right na only me nd u know dat o, naija doctors don't d reason I refused to study medicine, most doctors esp nurses sowy to say r very wicked, harsh etc to go hospital dey tire me

It's a wrong impression if you say most.Some,like in every sphere of life.
Most are compassionate.

adorable29: There are different scenerios. This particular case was a matter of LIFE AND DEATH. AN EMERGENCY!!!! Every second mattered. And for what? 300k advance payment? Seriously?! I can't even deal right now.

Worse they hold her down till the family pays up...

You can't say.It's just the story you read here and it was probably the husband's account.That is why i said it should be further investigated.

I have been working with various private hospitals and I will say it will be crazy to leave a dying pregnant woman alone just because you want to see the money first.Labour is in stages and it won't usually happen in just one hour.By the time you decide a case is a C/S case,there is still enough time to transfer the patient if need be.People are usually given options.No hospital I have worked with will leave a woman to just die while insisting on collecting money first.

The case should be investigated and the truth behind it should be brought out.

Almost everyone above me is blaming doctors and while I'm not trying to hold forth for the hospital/doctors in this case,there are different hospitals you can visit for treatment and the costs of services are not the same.She could have chosen to go to a public hospital where prices are much cheaper and she could even get waivers.
Private hospitals cost money to run.You have to generate your own electricity and pay staff salaries.A gynae earns about N600k a month.It's not cheap to run a private hospital and you have to demand money before service to keep your hospital running.

From experience,people do not like paying money in hospital.Many leave with debts and don't come back.You have to keep chasing them around.The best private hospitals can do is just be strict with money.

I'm sure they gave her the option of moving elsewhere and would even have referred her.I don't know in this case,just speaking generally.

Is truth.Your late father is missing.

akino: My experience was a nasty one but God saw me through. All through the pregnancy of my first child, my wife would get angry at everything even when you asked her simple question.I had to always calm down and i promised her and myself that i would never get angry whenever she was angry.Instead of her to always tell me how she felt she prefered to yell at me at slightest provocation.I chose to be a responsible a responsible husband and help her work on this during the second pregnancy.

They don't do it intentionally.The hormones get the better of them.

lanrexlan: Stop lamenting if you have nothing to say concerning what your brother in Christ wrote.
Kindly unfollow the thread mister.

You start a thread and it goes boom in your face and you're trying much to save it.
Keep doing the work of your master.

*Unfollowing as you said

clinik: seriously sex is once in a week now.....am not really complaining but am looking if it won't affect her at due time. u know what I mean

Just have it as much as the pregnancy swings allow.It will be well at the end.

Early morning sickness especially nausea and vomiting is very common in the first trimester.Some vomit for most of the period of pregnancy.
So bro,pregnancy is what is responsible.