₦airaland Forum

Can you afford your self

Do you want the husband to kill her
Marriage is not for every one yet we insist.divorce is the end product


Marriage is an individual choice and not a collective one. The government has no business regulating how I use my genital.  It is mine and mine alone.  I decide who I choose to get married to . I can decide to share it with a single person or a married person.  It is  my freedom to choose to be a celibate or be married.   While married, I decide with my partner whether to make it open relationship or monogamy.

Marriage is not for everyone. There are people who are happier single. I mean those who are do introverted that they cannot tolerate a very long time without feeling drained. There are people who prefer long distance relationship with few visits and frequent absence rather than continued presence.  those whose high attention sexual urge cannot be satisfied by any one individual. There are others who dislike the boredom of sticking to one  partner scares the hell out of them. Variety is the spice of life.The fun of experimenting with various sizes and  types thrills them. There are yet another group whose need for independence and freedom makes them dislike the idea of  consulting with another before making decision.  There is another group that  love to be in motion. They wake up one morning and decide to relocate to another state only to explore another culture the next year. Traveling is their hobby and getting married with kids hinders that . Settling down is like a death trap. Flowing water is cleaner. Stagnant water attracts mosquitoes and other microorganism.

Human needs are various. the concept of getting married does not fit into their ideal future. They are better off single or in an open relationship. imposing  monogamy marriage on them will choke them. Their partner and children would suffer . Cheating is bound to occur. The fact that cheating still exist means we should question the effectiveness of monogamy and possibility of open marriage.

Investment experts would advice you never to put all your eggs in one basket to mitigate against risk. Economic  expert suggest diversification and not depending on only crude oil. Why don’t we  Apply  the same analogy to our own emotional life.   Risk is mitigated when we stop expecting one person to be our confident, sexual satisfier ,friend, mother of children etc. Can we consider open marriage and celibacy as alternative to monogamy

.https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/19/why-is-monogamy-considered-natural/

Kriss216:
Shut up, he's saying the truth.
Nigerians love breast more than anything.

But there’s no medical benefit to the bra, and the idea that it prevents sagging is pure myth. We wouldn’t stop aging if we could be carried in a chair, so putting our boobs on a shelf won’t stop the effects of gravity nor time.

Weirdly, it’s not wearing a bra that’s better for our boobs, at least according to some limited research. Women who stop wearing bras altogether are said to experience improved breast shape, better circulation, and less sagging, because their chest muscles have to a


Source

SilverNorGold:
Our next President

some people no go gree am

jedisco:
Of late, much has been said of how Nigerian ladies destroy their men when they get abroad and of course, the usual nairaland women bashing was rampant on such threads. I decided to repost a thought I has on this and follow up views


What many people forget are certain things I'd outline for clarity.

1. Being married in the west is different from marriage in Nigeria. That is what many don't get. Just as with kids, no matter how 'African' and disciplined you claim to be, don't go about using whips on your kids or you'd get into serious issues. Same applies with marriage. People want to get married in the west but want to lord it all as in Nigeria


2. To add to the point above. Most naija guys would go out and treat younger European kids with respect and dignity but they come home and want their wives to kneel and serve them. Most ladies would see how u treat their fellows outside and take a cue.

3. There are multiple privileges that come with being a man in Nigeria that no one would give in the West.
There is nothing that the Nigerian lady did that an average white lady wouldn't do and exceed. If in doubt, ask the white married dudes what they pass through. It's in Nigeria that a married man would have lots of girlfriends and the wife would know and do nothing.

4. Another phrase getting common on nairaland is that 'most Nigerian ladies are entitled'. I'd hazard to say that if you think they're entitled, then you've not come across a white lady living in the west. You can ask the average white lady what they think about the roles we've come to expect from ladies in Nigeria

5. There are lots of success stories with Nigerian marriages. Most successful marriages are based on compatibility. Fact is for most Nigerians who grew up in Nigeria, they'd be most compatible with a fellow Nigerian and hence having likelihood of long lasting relationships with them.


6. They're are lots of things that are taken for granted with a Nigerian brought up lady that would be major issues if it was a white counterpart e.g maintaining a relationship with relatives, model of training ones kids, maintaining ones heritage in their offspring, food, domestic chores e.t.c.
Except if you're marrying for survival (papers) but if you're standing on both feet, it'd be difficult to gel with the average white lady for a long-term relationship. Good luck finding a British lady that would rather spend her summer touring your 'boring' relatives in Nigeria than vacationing somewhere else
I'm not even talking about Asians, cos they too have a very strong cultural background.

7. In the US, it seems there's a pattern with Nigerian nurses. But it seems some guys idea of bringing a lady over is for her to work as (or train her to be) a nurse, make much more that him while he expects her to bring it back for them to spend, and he'd still Lord ot over her like they were back in Nigeria. In the west, the society would not expect a lady to remain in such a relationship for the sake of being married.

8. Finally, the fact is that a good number (didn't say all or majority) of Nigerian dudes abroad are in the lower economic classes and take up humble jobs. But these same dudes want to get married to a lady and not be humble at home. They want to be Hitler at home but outside they become doves...


I agree that some ladies are the devil's incarnate and would bring anyone down. But that trait is not shared by Nigerian ladies alone or by one sex for that matter.

at the end union ends in divorce

Is strike still holding

He wants to go to bokoharam headquarters by force
Soldiers say it has been defeated
He knows it is a lie
He is province soldier wrong with his own life too.

Chris Ngige is only candidate

Power hungry politicians

Nigeria act based on emotion. Many peoples pitied Laycon for how Erica treated jim

It is valued by the people

Ganduje, na now you know

Military don change

This millennium has witnessed the rise of many groups fighting against what is perceived as injustice. First was the Niger Delta  millitant . Then came the bokoharam and finally  the indigenous people of  Biafra.   Each group believe they are fighting a good cause. The millitant do not want their natural resources exploited and environment destroyed without compensation . The  bokoharam are against Eastern education while IPOB want independence. In a nutshell, one is environmental and financially motivated, other is educational and religiously motivated and the third is tribal and politically instigated.

Each group believe they are the victim . The other group is the aggressor.The use of threat of violence is also a common attribute of all group.  When we examine the world crises, we see a similar pattern. Adolph Hitler believed he was on a mission to eradicate the Jews from the map so as to make the world a better place.  Osama Binladen believes the United States are forces of evil bringing corruption and domination to the Islamic world.

Each group sees the other as evil and desire to make the world a better place by eradicating the evil . The main cause of violence is the desire to eradicate evil. Let us assume the other party is as evil as potrayed , Is punnishnent the best solution?

One school of taught believe trading evil for evil serves as detterant  to  others . If that is the case, why does evil persist? Punnishnent is driven by desire for vengeance. An eye for an eye makes the world go blind. Violence breed more violence .we view the other group as different from us. A we vs them mindset. Our group is better,right,superior. This creates pride., Segregation. When we add religion to this feeling, we turn it to a holy war. Each group is moved by  greed and selfishness that they refuse to see the wider implications of their actions. Violence  occur because each group fear what  the other side would do to them This fear grows into hatred. Hatred grows into anger. Anger result in violence.  The frequent Christian versus Muslim war in kaduna and Jos  follow the same pattern  . Muslim fearing Christian dominance and vice versa.

The best antidote to evil is to replace fear with love. When love exist among group, bridges  of connection is built rather than walls of saperation . When youth from each group  are allowed to fall in love with each other and get married, families are forced to include each other in gathering. When enemies come together to achieve a goal, their dislike for each other reduces . Children born from such union would learn to like both group. Focusing our mind on evil empowers evil. An unmatched readiness to assist humanity , a desire for truth and a heart of compassion are what is needed. Peace can be achieved when we are inspired by an inner convictions to embrace the oneness of humanity to seek power through forces of love and partner.Any hateful thought towards any group diminished this power. We look for ways to handle our difference without aggression.we can begin by suspending our differences and focusing on our similarities.



https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/15/crusaders-fighting-for-a-cause/

Report to efcc

The igbo living there are so hard work ing

Plantain Ireland mko

Borno state Governor..the best northern governor

Two Igbo leaders fighting for power in Kano.

Power intoxicating.
Whenever we embark on a job that is not out calling, aAbuse is inevitable. We either go for power,Fame or greed.
Thiis is an example of a poorly motivated security personnel.
What motivate your pastor?

Every week , many new churches apply to the Cooperate Affair Commission (CAC) requesting to be registered. Many letters are rejected for repitition of names. A report by reveals that the number of churches are over. . Every founder claims the holy spirit sent him to create a new church. Surely, God cannot be the author of confusion. Some of these founders are personally motivated. How then can we differentiate the genuine God sent founders from the self- sent ones . Three major ways of identifying self sent founders are


Fame : self sent founders love to be the center of attention. They would do anything to be popular .He hardly allows assistant pastor to preach cutting him off from members so he does not take outshine him. The little time he preaches,he must mention pastors name so many times so pastor does not feel jealous. Such pastor will empty the church finance to pay television station to show their service. They can pay actors to stage miracles to increase their popularity. They speak eloquently. . After Jesus healed a man, he said ” tell no one,”. His desire to eradicate the suffering of the man was Paramount not Fame Our glory searching pastors would announce a miracle before performing one. He would find it difficult to minister before a small group of listeners. Qualiity of members mattered more than quality.They can ordain any person a pastor as long as he can bring more members. Jesus would leave ninety nine in search of one lost sheep. Fame founders would leave one in search of ninety nine. He spends more time building his influence.Their mission is to build and their branches through each street . There is nothing wrong for one to desire to be famous but there is something wrong if one pursues Fame and recognition at the detriment of God’s word


Power: Some pastors leave their previous church over disagreement on certain issues. They wanted things to go a certain way. The senior pastor rejected and they angrily left to form their own church where they would be the one taking decision. These want to be in charge of every decision making process. They appoint the choir leader, welfare head,drama coordinator etc. They will tell the leader the song to sing . Whoever disagrees with him is removed and replaced with a O-Yes members who agrees to all he says .. Questioning them is the same as challenging their a ithority .


They hardly take correction.Criticise their action and they curse you and your generation. Insult them and get beaten .They are easily identified by their tendency to shout while preaching despite the numerous microphone and loudspeaker. They love to issue command..They are annoited and you are not and that makes them superior to you.They can be proud ,pumpous and boastful.. Their favorite Bible verses are Touch not my annoited and do my prophet no harm and The kingdom of God suffereth violence…….taketh it by force. The first verse prevents you from criticizing him while the later gives him licence to be violent.




G byreed : These pastors have withnessed the influx of money from local various parishes to headquarters and desire to own the money. They left the previous church over money issue. Deny him access to church fund and watch him abscond to build his own.They see church as fastest means of generating fund. Their sermon focuses more on giving even when topic has nothing to do with money. Meet him for marital counseling and he mention tithing as condition for blissful marriage. They are the prosperity preachers. They need you to prosper so you can donate more to the church. The church has an open door policy. There are less laws on dresscode and less emphasis on morals . Pastor hardly preaches hell. He knows that such would make members sad and scare them away . Rather, positive messages are preached. There are lots of singing and dancing to make members happy.They invite comedians, non – gospel artist to perform on the alter. Happy people are more likely to donate more. Do not be surprised to see POS machine and ATM machine inside the church. You have no excuse not to give. Everything is permissible provided their finance is not meddled with. They install camera at the room where money is counted to ensure no one takes from the money. He does not trust his own officials in money matters.They are the ones kicking against the CAMA law. Using the generatee fund for the things of the church is acceptable. These pastors use money to make more money. You will be surprised to here they own estates, lands, and other non gospel related buisnesses. I heard of a pastor who co- owns a construction company and lobby’s for government contract .


These kind of pastors are externally motivated. They use the church as a means to get what they want. The quest for Fame ,power and wealth supercededs all. They can misinterpreted the scripture and bend rules to achieve such craving. How do we identify the general overseer that was sent by God?


The first way to do this is by listening to his words. God calls for a reason . He calls to deliver a message. He sentMoses to tell pharoah to “let my people go “. The miracles he performed were secondary. He sent to teach the laws which did not exist at that time.Jesus was sent to preach the message of salvation to the people. He taught love and forgiveness different from vengeance which the pharasees were known for.To identify a God sent, compare his message with that of his predecessor . The greater the difference, the more you can be sure he is sent by God.God sent founders have a unique message or doctrine that stands them apart from the rest. If there is no difference,that is a red flag.


We can guage the zeal to spread the message. God-sent pastors move from one place to another. They are on the look out for people who are yet to receive the message. They teach the people for some time and leave to teach another group. They are like doctors searching for patients.They do not wait for members to seek them . They understand that whoever consciously seek the church is half saved. They go for those that are not in church .They are missionaries. Missionaries do not stay in a place forever. Does your general overseer still engage in street evangelism? Does he assign the task to members? Is he too big and busy for that? How often does your general overseer go to the northern part of the country. Are they scared of getting killed. Would he rather build a fifty thousand capacity auditorium in the south where Christianity is the dominant religion.

God-sent pastors are willing to thrive despite opposition. They do not succomb to the risk. They are willing to die in other to spread the message. Moses was a wanted man after killing the Egyptian, yet he courageously walked up to him to deliver the message. Jesus knew he would be killed. He persistently spread the good news. The early left their comfortable homes to a poor continent -Africa to spread the message. These missionaries died of mosquitoes. More missionaries trooped in. The urge to spread the message is stronger than their love for their own life. Can your General Overseer live in the North with for five years in other to strengthen the faith of Christians there? Can he die for the message?

There is absolutely nothing wrong for one to decide to build his own church. It is a free world. What is wrong is telling members that you are God sent. That is deceit. Lying in the name of God should be discouraged



https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/26/what-makes-pastors-to-abandon-former-church-and-form-a-new-church/

supportnija:
OP, God calls everybody for his work, everybody to do his work, matt 28:19 Christ instructed go into the and make people his disciple, OP this can be done in your place of work not necessary having building call church, this can be done in your house, even your neighborhood , in the bus and everywhere. OP the church you see people having everywhere is Pentecostal way of God's calls and to have a title call MAN OF GOD.

The early apostles were preach I WITHOUT building a church and registering same as a buisness under CAC.

Brachaa:
Heheheheee...

Marriage is for everyone because its been ordained by God for all. God says it is not good for the man to be alone.

Marriage is not for everyone

Marriage is an individual choice and not a collective one. The government has no business regulating how I use my genital.  It is mine and mine alone.  I decide who I choose to get married to . I can decide to share it with a single person or a married person.  It is  my freedom to choose to be a celibate or be married.   While married, I decide with my partner whether to make it open relationship or monogamy.

Marriage is not for everyone. There are people who are happier single. I mean those who are do introverted that they cannot tolerate a very long time without feeling drained. There are people who prefer long distance relationship with few visits and frequent absence rather than continued presence.  those whose high attention sexual urge cannot be satisfied by any one individual. There are others who dislike the boredom of sticking to one  partner scares the hell out of them. Variety is the spice of life.The fun of experimenting with various sizes and  types thrills them. There are yet another group whose need for independence and freedom makes them dislike the idea of  consulting with another before making decision.  There is another group that  love to be in motion. They wake up one morning and decide to relocate to another state only to explore another culture the next year. Traveling is their hobby and getting married with kids hinders that . Settling down is like a death trap. Flowing water is cleaner. Stagnant water attracts mosquitoes and other microorganism.

Human needs are various. the concept of getting married does not fit into their ideal future. They are better off single or in an open relationship. imposing  monogamy marriage on them will choke them. Their partner and children would suffer . Cheating is bound to occur. The fact that cheating still exist means we should question the effectiveness of monogamy and possibility of open marriage.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/04/sex-and-marriage-are-not-government-buissness/

Sodiquinone:
celibacy is against nature,God gave us sexual organ and sexual urge for a purpose

Jesus was a celibacy

Sodiquinone:
Dont generalize

thanks.some pastor then

Masculine woman

She has been silenced

They say zoning is not in Constitution

Congratulations to her. Are you a born again, let us learn to preach universal love for all irrespective of sex.

Son: what does the Bible teach about homosexuality and masturbation.

Dad: I do not know and I do not care to know

Son: But you are a Christian

Dad: yes, A Christian who follows the teaching of Jesus. Christ alone and not the Bible.

Son; But Bible contains Jesus teaching

Dad: true. It also contains the teaching of Paul,the teaching of Moses , the teaching of Elijah and many other teaching. As a Christian, I accept the teaching of Jesus Christ.

Son: Ok, Now what did Jesus teach about masturbation and homosexuality.

Dad: Jesus never mentioned any of them literally but he showed us with illaustration how to treat those whose views are different from ours.

Child: How?

Dad: He never condemned the adultrous woman, he visited tax collectors, he dined with sinners. He showered them with love.

Son : does that mean they won’t go to hell?

Dad: would you derive Joy in Watching your loved one in hell?

Son: No I won’t

Dad: good.

Dad: sex is a way of expressing Love. There are different stages of love. The first is love directed to oneself. A child grows up loving himself.Using sexual analogy, the child derives Joy playing with his body, his genital. Jesus said Love thyself.


Son : hmm

Dad: The second is Love of similar specie.The child begins to extend the love to those of closest to him+ family, friend,tribe etc. A boy plays with a boy.A girl plays with a girl. Using sexual analogy, this is homosexual. Christ preached Love your neighbor.


Son : I see

Dad: The third stage of love is where one loves those different from oneself .Jesus said Love your enemy.your enemy is your opponent, opposite,one with a different view. Sexually, one is attracted to the gender different from him.A boy is attracted to a girl and vice-versa.

Son :

Dad: One who hates masturbators and homosexuals and love heterosexual is no different from one who loves others over himself and his peers.Such person is in a third stage of love.


Son : which is the best.

Dad: All of the above.The fourth type. The pansexual. The attraction to all . Self, male, and female. It is universal love. Agape love. Love without condition.


https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/20/a-christian-dad-and-son-conversation-on-homosexuality/

U are emotionally attached

Is she coming out for president

Truthful

Yea