₦airaland Forum

Self control

Greed

He is scared of your threat.

Take the screenshot and account numbers to The bank and report to branch manager.

Spies.army is compromise d

Small

Good

Hmm

1) thinking that marriage is compulsory for everyone
If marriage were compulsory, Jesus would have done so.I am not against the idea of getting married. I am only saying marriage is not for everyone. The assumption that one can only be fulfilled while married is false . Many propeller of this fallacy quote the Bible to back up their claim.


It is not good for man to be alone

It is not good for anyone to be alone . Eve was to be a companion and not a marriage partner . One can feel alone while being married . The verse only validates the fact that no one is an Ireland. We need someone to lean on . Marriage is a concept created by man to bring order in the society. No one has been arrested for choosing to remain single.


Many of us get married because we need kids. There are many orphans down there craving to get married. Go adopt them . Except off course you are searching for your own child to shower selfish love .

Everyone is meant to have children. Eli the priest was not meant to have children as that would disturb his mission on Earth so his wife womb was shut for years. Having a wife would not affect his goal. After persistent prayer, he finally had a child. He had to choose between disciplining his children or spending time in the church. He chose the later. His children became wayward.

Zaccharia was another priest who had difficulty in having a son.It was not until he was very old that he was permitted too. This tells us that those who are called to work in God institution are not meant to have children as that could affect their work .They are permitted to have a helper, a partner, a wife ,a maid etc.

This brings me to the only reason to get married .We should get married when getting married enables us to achieve our life purpose.

Jesus knew his mission on Earth .He knew it involves wandering from one place to another spreading the message. The stress of travelling with his family all the Tim would slow down his movement. He could not afford to take them to the mountain and through the sea. He knew his message would invoke the wrath of the pharasees who would happily transfer their aggression to his wife and children . Peter who was already married had to leave his wife behind to follow Jesus. His wife must have felt sad as a result. His children must have been angry with their father for being unavailable. It is better not to get married than to abandon your partner midway. one had to pace way for another.


Marriage is settling down . Those whose purpose involve moving around have no business settling down.A Catholic priest could be posted to three different countries in a year as part of missionary work. Relocating their family all the time would prove cumbersome. This is why Catholic priest do not get married. I am not condemning clergy who get married. I only ask that each should examine the nature of his calling. One who is fixed at a particular place to grow an already planted church can marry. Missionaries who go about converting people and planting churches can abstain.

2) raising a child without a father figure

If the father is dead or divorced, there should be a man he should look up to to play the role of a father
Infant living with just their dad found out that they are 2-6 month ahead of schedule in personal and social skills

Amount of time father spends with child is one of strongest predictor of empathy in adulthood

The more the father is involved,the more easily the child makes open ,receptive and trusting contact with new people in his life.

Children of divorced parent who lived with their mother are 37.5% more likely to need professional treatment for emotional and behavioral problem.

When fathers are not involved, girls show sign of being antisocial,headstrong, hyperactive.Both boys and girls showed sign of over dependency on the mother.

Boys who live with their father after divorce tend to be warmer,have a higher degree of self esteem,more mature and more independent than boys who do not.

The most important factor by far in preventing drug use is a close relationship with dad.

Living in homes without dad is correlated with suicide among children and teenager than any other for both sexes.

Girls raised in father absent times tend to go to extreme in their relationship with male.

Primary school children without father are less likely to be popular with peers and more hostile to adult.

Daughters who lived with their mother are 92% more likely to divorce than daughter or 2- parent family

3) Obeying Elders blindly.
We know what elders ask of us is wrong but we do them anyway.
Two ears ago, My uncle summoned his children on his sick bed and instructed the first son to take over his law firm. This was the same son who resented studying law and only studied the course to please the dad. The same dad has asked him to forfeit his personal ambition.

The young man was literally unhappy as he managed the firm. He obeyed bitterly. He poured out his aggression on the entire staff.  

Obedience should be done out of love rather than duty. When an act is carried out of duty, the relationship with those around is diminished. 

I had to tell him that he was not bound to his late father wish. He could simply employ a trusted fellow to manage the firm while he supervises periodically.



Children should be made to do things out of duty in the beginning.As they grow up, duty should be gradually replaced by love. Love is a better teacher than obligation.  Duty is mechanical and externally motivated by a sence of obligation . Love makes it easier. Love transform responsibility to joy. A sence of  duty warmed by a love for humanity creates the best result.

I have seen a girl  reject suitor so they can take care their aging parents. While the act is commendable,It should be done out of love and not out of society expectation so she doesn’t regret it taking care of aged parent should be done from the bottom of her heart and not as a debt she owes you.  

The factory worker who constantly looks at the clock for it to be five o click to drop his tools work out of duty and not out of love .  Such a man will have lots of regret when he finally retires. Christianity is one religion built out of love rather than a sence of duty. God love the world that he gave his son……He did not owe the world. No one would punnish him for non compliance.To  be a great teacher, begin by loving children. To be a great auto-mechanic, begin by loving automobile.

4) punnishing Rebels
The society teaches us certain norm, rule and tradition to maintain order and expects us to obey then. Society tells us how we should eat, dress,think and behave in general. Those who obey are praised and rewarded for good behavior.Those who do not are called rebels. Are rebels really terrible people?   Are rebels black sheep?

Rebels are individual who refuse to do what others are doing . They are non robot.His life is dictated by his own reasoning. He does not like been told what to do. They question the status quo and deviate from it when necessary. Rebels crave independence. They create their path.Rebels try to be themselves and find freedom in an overly oppressive rule structure.

Some rebels are not interested in the society aggreing with their they have no intention of changing the society.He simply renounces the wrong act in himself and leave society to change when she feels like. Such rebels believe in the saying :  LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT TO AND LET ME LEAVE MY LIFE MY OWN WAY.

Such rebel change the life for himself and is ready to face whatever trouble it may bring on his way .When the female journalist drove a car fully aware of the law against driving for women, she was an individual rebel. She was arrested and sentenced to prison. Today, women are allowed to drive vehicles in Saudi Arabia . When Mubarak Bala refused to believe in Islam, he was taken to the psychiatric hospital, a place where deviant are kept .

Another group of rebels are interested in making sure the society moves in their direction. They spread their ideal to people, convert them ,  raise a group , engage in mass protest, strike,to change the status quo..These rebels encounter strong opposition from the society. These rebels are willing to face torture,and death to push their ideology. Many a time,they end up dead before their ideal is realised.They would rather die than withdraw their teaching. They live with the  saying : WE WILL ALL DIE ONE DAY. I CHOOSE TO DIE WHILE SPREADING THIS IDEAL.

Jesus is an example of such rebel.He recruited disciples, taught them new teachings, instructed them to spread the teaching, challenged the money makers in the temple . He was subsequently arrested and crucified. Today, Christianity is world largest religion.

Reverend Father Martin Luther is another Catholic rebel who was expelled from the Catholic Church for non conformity. His rebellion led to the protestantism.

The northern part of Nigeria is trying so hard to curtail its rebel. First, Mubarak Bala has been arrested for propagating anti – Islamic teaching and insulting Prophet Mohammed on social media.   A musician has been sentenced to death for mocking the prophet in his song.   While courtesy demand we respect other people belief, This has raised lots of question. Is Nigeria a secular or Islamic country,?  Does blasphemy law has a place in this civilised period?

These rebels were aware of the  likely consequences of their actions. Their moral courage to choose to undergo these  ordeal plants a seed in the mind of others. The death of one rebel leads to the growth of more rebel. The death of Stephen led to the birth of Paul. History shows that the death of a rebel does not really shut down their idea. I forsee a lot of nonconformist springing up from the northern part of the country.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/08/the-rise-of-religious-rebels-in-the-north/

Good

Some people sha

It doesn't matter

Simp


When Nollywood actor Pet Edochie fumed at the young men kneeling before a woman, he was backlashed. Pet was comparing happenings in his youthful age against  the youth in this generation. The traditional Igbo man is highly placed in the society. During traditional wedding,the woman kneels down to propose to the man.The one who kneels begs the other for a favor.A typical Igbo man hardly kneels for his fellow man talkless of a woman . He only kneels for the gods who he recognizes as more powerful than he is.

Pet is  not alone. Many men have noticed a decline in the masculinity of men. The Alpha male movement and redpill movement are attempt to correct this imbalance.When did thngs change? When did man begin to loose his ego to stoop so low to kneel before a less powerful being. Was the change sudden or gradual?

Women were seen as irrational and emotional.Men were the rational and strong willed. Men were taught to act like men They had to suppress their emotion close to their heart. Men should never cry in public.  Expression of vulnerability  is a sign of a weak man.  Men are closed minded, rigid and structured. He should not seek fun .Men. Should always be in power, strive for control, compete.They lack empathy necessary for effective communication and connection.

In early days, male children joined their fathers in the river fishing or the forest haunting. Female spent their time with the mothers cooking. Each gender know his role. You hardly see a man in the kitchen or a girl hunting. Men learnt to act like men and women learnt to act like women.Then came the industrial era. Lands meant for farming and hunting was taking over by the government to build factory. The owners of the land were jobless.To offer compensation, the men were integrated as workers in this factory. Their male children were not allowed to follow dad to work.son stays at home with the mum while Dad went to work. Father leaves home as early as eight and comes home by six. He is exhausted, he sleeps to get strength for the next day. Fathers became absent in their son’s life. The role of dad in son life began to reduce while the role of mum in son life began to rise. Mummy passes over her feminine qualities to growing son.

Then came education. Female involvement in  education at an early age especially science and  law improve her reasoning abilities (masculinity) . Female take part in competitive games like the male counterpart. This improves their aggression.These women ended up as heads of organization.They took  decision and gave instructions . These women began to have a thirst of power . Their masculine qualities were awoken.

Girls  who enjoy highly competitive games with a desire to win also increases their aggression (masculinity). We tag such women names like Tomboy. They are ladies with highly developed masculine side and poorly developed feminine side.. Such masculine girls are attracted to  the beta guys. If a man is more masculine in nature,he will be attracted to a very feminine woman who will compliment his energy. Balance men prefer neutral women.. Masculine girls at attracted to a feminine guy or sisi or beta guy . Such guys are few as society teaches guys to wear the Alpha mask. She can only find solace among her fellow feminine women. This is the origin of homosexuality- . Heterosexual are no different from homosexual as both seek balance .

Society has widened this energy balance over the years. Civilisation is bring closing the gap. Homosexual are closer to achieving balance compared to heterosexual. Yet, Homosexuals feel guilty for not complying with society expectation. . There is nothing wrong with homosexuality, for it IS what is. However, we need to bear in mind that society at this time is traumatized due to so many centurie conditioned to comply with that. DO we want to fit in? Until WHEN? We need to learn to Love who we are, while allowing others to be what they want to be. Acceptance is the way of Life.

We should understand that each individual hold masculine and feminine qualities within us. When both qualities are not well alligned, the person is out of balance. The traditional gender roles over the years has created highly masculine males on one hand and highly feminine female on the other side.  we are drawn to certain individual that help us correct these imbalance. These highly masculine males become attracted to highly feminine female.

https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/23/sexual-imbalance/

Na lie?

Anti party activities

Given up on Nigeria army

Good

Are we realized independent

decode:
The South is divided between two camps: those in support of restructuring and those in support of secession/separation. The former camp is busy fighting secessionists and are not even prepared for the restructuring they are talking about.
All which Buhari is doing is to prepare his people for restructuring.

https://www.newtelegraphng.com

be specific,south or soithwest

Could have made Sence along side NLC

garfield1:
He is a political hypocrite.why is he not speaking out against misgovernance in abia

As a former deputy governor,he spoke out against Orji kalu missrule. Kalu sponsored national assembly to impeach him.do you want him to trail that path again ? Morever, he is speaking against bigger fish not smaller fish. let your state assembly members do the speaking

No need,k

Air ,water, shelter food are basic amenities. Church is not. Market is

He could have added journalist abi masscom, shey Pastor Ibiyome called it ordinary

First tried in Africa- lab rat

Good

Good

UtopianPassion:
To begin with, please, if you believe in no sex before marriage, keep your opinion to yourself.

I am in a sexless relationship almost 4 years now, from the outset the agreement was no sex.

Honestly speaking if I knew I'd someday be writing on NL seeking advice, I'd have moved on from her, but love got me hooked.

It's ironic isn't it, having a girlfriend and still wanking (sighs!). I find it extremely difficult cheating, as I have never done this with any other woman.

As regards my woman, there's nothing I haven't done except rape (which I can never do). Lots of instances when the only thing left is for the act itself, she begins begging me in the name of God not to do this to her, she doesn't want to get pregnant, she wants to keep it till her marriage night and all that.

Even when I buy a condom, it's one story or the other. She might even turn her back on me or cover her boobs or her pussy.

Recently, I told her I'm done with the kissing and caressing, it's a cycle whose end I know is always filled with disappointments.

She would then go on to tell me, that does not mean she cannot touch, hug or hold me.

Such happened tonight and there we were again at the beginning of the cycle. When it came to sex, she was telling me to promise her nothing like that would happen.

This is something I can't even discuss with friends and even a cousin of mine, guys would be able to relate more, it's something I'm ashamed of.

These days I even began looking up drugs that lower libido, all because of this issue.

I love her, God knows I do.

I am tired and frustrated from the constant rejections, I can't even sleep.

It's almost 4 years, what else does she want?

Tell her you have started patronising prostitute to keep yourself . You have your body and you can do with your body what you want. She has her body,she can do with her body what she likes. She either nominate a girl for u to fuucck anytime you want or you patronise prostitute.-someone u do not love. In that way,you respect your promise to her, while honoring her sexless relationship but u also need to honor ur body needs .You had an active sex life before you met her and u will continue . Tell her this. Insist on this . Do not ask her for sex again, do not kiss her or touch her. Tell her openly,you are getting more of it from outside. Whenever a girl call u, tell her it is one of your prostitute customer who want to come over. If she ask you for money, tell her, you have already budgeted it for the night with a girl. Avoid kissing.

Thinking

Congratulations