₦airaland Forum

lastclaire4:
The truth is I am a fan of Reno but please dont listen to him when it comes to love. People from Reno's place dont have respect for their women and their men are typically lazy. It is the woman that works for the men. If you doubt me go delta and see. Go to places like Warri, sapele and see how these women suffer.

Lobatan!

blinkz4real:
All of you re agreeing to this because you re all poor or if you re not poor then you have a poor mindset jst priviledge to have it. if you can't pay her bills pls free this girls for other guys to date and don't go about complaining about girls just go and hustle more or better still find your spec.

I wonder the type of men society is raising up this days just shying away from taking care of the women they claim 2 love in d name of its just a relationship.

Pls stop all this bashing of women its poverty that is disturbing you but you don't want 2 accept it. Women re suppose 2 be well treated and pampered because the re not wired to suffer. Have you checked out how the were first created? From a mans Rib(what does that mean 2 you?)


If you can shadow her responsibility pls do but if its beyond you go and work harder so that you won't be complaining she has entitlement mentality. You can call me a simp but real men handle their woman's needs.

Who be this? Better go find work.

HeavenlyCherub:
I tell you.

When a lot of these men think of success they think ceo, dangote, managers. One can be successful if they manage well the salary they receive from a regular job and investing it. The problem is a lot of people these days rush to buy car before establishing the wealth. Manage what you have to the best of your ability and you will be comfortable/successful.

God made no mistake when he said be equally yoked. This should apply in every sense of the word. Faith, Drive, Goals, Mutual respect, Attraction. That way you have a PARTNER! Not a leech, lazy person and disrespectful companion.

I enjoy reading your work Toks. Thank you for also not being biased because you cover both perspectives.

Just took a glance at your nairaland wall n I noticed you are based in the states and you expect naija guys to reason in your line of thought habba.

There is hardship in the land and that has affected the way many of them reason so I no too blame them.

HeavenlyCherub:
This is what I have said a million times. But the fact you desire a successful man is a problem to a lot of broke men. What’s the problem, I’m successful I can do it on my own. Why is it a problem for me to desire a successful man. Automatically you are labeled a leech and a gold digger by the men on Nairaland

LOL... Many nairaland males are boys still been fed by their parents. Only very few are men.

ibkonekt:
hmmmm so now you decide to write about it from the man's point of view....lets see how many women will jump in and comment this time.

I actually wrote this first.

ibkonekt:
you probably dont have testicles.
yes

So if you can give your wife a gift or money then why can't you give a lady you intend marrying?

So you can see that there was no need for the rhetoric.

ibkonekt:
see ignorance and deflection.
you still fail to make proper points and still fall back to throwing shade (ranting, crying), i pray God cures you from simp blood. you are lost, emotional, feminine and weak. you lack standards and reasoning to measure up with a man so you use emotions of fake tears and laughter to try to portray false confidence, it wont work. your weakness stinks. #Simpgang

You just dey mess yourself up dey think sey you dey make sense.

You can only give a formidable opinion if you comprehended in the first instance.

ibkonekt:
what if she openly allowed multiple men run through her legs recklessly.
the same argument can be made for a man (money perspective) on the post i responded to.
what if he lost his job, what if this, what if that....the original poster clearly doesn't care about the other perspective and the response was channeled accordingly

I can bet my left testicle on it that you did not comprehend just like other guys.

Can I ask a question?

Can you give your wife gift and money even without her asking?

ibkonekt:
what if she openly allowed multiple men run through her legs recklessly.
the same argument can be made for a man (money perspective) on the post i responded to.
what if he lost his job, what if this, what if that....the original poster clearly doesn't care about the other perspective and the response was channeled accordingly

I am the OP

Lalasticlala Biko help me shift this to the front page to balance up the previous thread. Nairaland guys have practically baked me.

ibkonekt:
if you are not a virgin, you do not deserve a relationship or attention from a man. a woman that has donated herself to have multiple sperm sample dumped in her is worthless and full on infections. the only thing such a lady is good for is for sexual relief of random men. once a woman looses her virginity outside marriage she is useless. any woman that falls into this category should embrace her Wh0re of babylon nature.

What if she got raped?

ibkonekt:
1. You definitely don’t sound like a man.
2. You are appalled right, so are others about you (you come across as confused) …. keep your emotions in check and make your point concisely. You really don’t have any right to advice other men whether to marry or not. it’s up to them and women that love them. Like I said I would give as it is necessary…. if it is necessary to lavish her then I will…. if it is necessary and she makes a case for it then I will…. if it is necessary I will do whatever. The difference here is the compulsion that you are adding to the scenario like it is some kind of Ritual. Maybe you should calm down and look at your own mentality. Anyone can be wrong. You could be wrong here (so could I). So stop saying WTF. That will not earn you points. Make clear points if you have any.
3. I quoted the post I responded to, if you read it then you would understand what I responded to. Maybe what you wanted to express came out in a different manner. Either way people have the right to disagree with you. Stop shouting wtf like you are rabid.
4. We all have problems as men and women, if you want to generalize we can go there. But I would prefer you use MOST guys…. because if the same analogy is used for women they will come and start saying NOT all women this and that. Either way all the rubbish you wrote about self-centeredness and complex issue and lack of money is just a cheap way of a simp trying to use shaming tactics to force his opinion on others. You make such claims when you cannot justify it, everybody has different standards as to what must be met before acting or doing something, either giving money, attention, emotions etc. Just because other men have higher standards does not make them stingy. It makes them principled. (again this is relative to the individual). Stop trying to apply your standard to all the men. Because that is what your post is attempting to accomplish.
5. It is your money spend it how you want on whatever woman you want, but don’t throw tantrums when you post something online and people respond negatively, once a word has gone public people have every right to comment and make their own take on the subject matter whether you agree or not.
I think you are lost in the matrix

See ranting.

I pray GOD provides for you and all the guys crying over the fact that they need to give a lady they desire of their substance even if she does not demand. Go and get a lady that you wont even spend a dime for. Awon fvk boys.

ibkonekt:
you women are funny and cunning.
1. you say there is no love without giving...this is true. a man does not have only money to give...he gives attention, love, emotional support, care, protection etc. your post is predicated on the point that the only thing men have to give is MONEY, that is the whole premise of your argument. i hope you see how shallow this reasoning is. there are other things to give even when money is present.

2. you raise the argument that the measure of love is by the percentage that the man gives his woman financially in respect to his income...i call gold digger mentality. i say give as the need arises and what is necessary financially not as she demands. either way your argument is selfish to your perspective only

3. you say giving is a 2 way street, pray tell what women give to a man apart from emotional and intangible things. a woman does not have anything material or physical to give to a man except her body. which is fine if we only want to look at it from a man for money and a woman for sex

p.s i understand the point you are trying to make but your points are really selfish...look at it from a man's point of view

I am a Man, the problem is that many Males who claim to be men are actually boys in reality.

You all want to see what you want to see and i am so appalled by the comments i have read from guys on this thread...my advice to them is to just remain single and not bother getting involved in any relationship...like wtf! so as a man are you saying you won't lavish your lady with material things once in while EVEN IF SHE DOES NOT ASK? What kind of mentality is that?

Look at all you wrote and please read again and you may be tempted to delete the post....where did i write all you pointed out? But because you just want to twist the narrative to justify their stingy mindset.

I think the problem with many guys is self-centeredness, complex issues and probably lack of money. If i decide to give my lady (and not just any lady i have no plans with) money or material things, i am doing it not because i want her to remain with me BUT BECAUSE I CHOSE TO DO IT. So if she lives tomorrow for another man it is no big deal to me cos i was not coarse by her. It is when a lady makes demand and the man starts giving her money like mugu that i had always been against(Check my previous threads).

You guys should grow up biko.

binghamm:
Currently talking on and off to three Nigerian girls all less than 30.

First one:
Tax lawyer in a foreign country. Quite accomplished. Doesn't want children. Open to cohabitation.
Loves me. The oldest of the three

Second one.
Engineer with top 3 oil multinational. Wants children. Loves me. Wants to get married asap.
Highly driven and ambitious. Religious. Not open to cohabitation. Least attractive

Third one.
Secretary at no-name company in Lagos. Wants children. Loves me. Still quite young. The youngest actually.
Not so driven. Seems satisfied with job role and not seeking further prospects.
Religious. Not open to cohabitation. Most attractive.

Me.
Don't care for children. May or may not want. Very late 20's. Open to cohabitation. A little religious.
Open to both cohabitation and marriage.

Who would you choose?

Men will always go for the most attractive one so no need wasting out time with any advise.

Sixfeetbelle:
Is it that you guys think you won't ever spend in a relationship or what? Cause I'm beginning to think some of you don't know what being in a relationship mean.

Dates, hangouts and meet ups at cinemas, etc. calls, car rides and texts, birthday messages and celebrations, random gifts and cash, aren't they all part of dating? Are they done for free?

Don't mind these boys.

Carter4luv:
i dispute this fact that men are stingy. men are trying to be meticulous in spending, they have plans and budget when a man has exceeded his budgets and you go to him for money he said he does not have money, women tag him as stingy, dats not stingy but wisdom in spending.

I'm. Sorry to say but I think it boils down to lack(I don't want to use the word POVERTY)

Cos I'm put aback with the comments of most guys here and it goes to show that they still think like boys whilst many of them are actually boys.

Poseidon000:
Stop trying to be clever by half. You're not dealing with neophytes, nor are we dyslexic.

This is an excerpt from your spit-deserving twaddle.

and worse still, I believe a man who is not generous to his lady does not truly love her cos there is no love without giving.

So, a man's love is directly proportional to how much he's willing to part with(hmmm, i wonder what sugar daddies have to say about this). And this brings me to the ineluctable question; " what moral rectitude does the kind of women you herald have over road side prostitute who predicate their relationship on money? Since pecuniary gratification is the proviso for the love you preach.

I'll willingly spend on a woman in distress who is not my girlfriend, but I can't spend on a woman just because we're in a relationship.

That's contemptible horseshit that foster laziness, venality and nauseating entitlement mentality.

BTW, it's quite risible for you to summon the testicular fortitude to set sail on the part of ignominy in branding your fellow men with the epithet "stingy," just because they go against the grain of pussy-worship to bide when and how they want to spend their money.

For the fact you suggested giving 10% of our income, as if relationship is an employment or we're repaying some sort of mortgage(at least, this is profitable), is a confession of your incorrigibility in pussy-worship.

Actually, I've lost the capacity to be outraged by the kind of sickening tosh you call opinion, but you just actuated the wow-factor of disgust in me this night.

You are still reading upsidedown. I understand that ladies input emotions into their comprehension but i never knew some guys do too. Read your comment again and see if they correlate with the write up.

Where did i write that a guy should give 10% of his salary? was that not an allegory?

And where on earth did you read that a man's love is directly proportional to how much he's willing to part with?

Seems una jjust wan type for the sake of typing.

Make i ignore una abeg. I no get strenth. If my thread no make sense to una then make una go back to primary school to learn how to read and comprehend....Abeg make i go piss go back to bed.

Alexaonfleek:
Nice thread op.
Stingy guys are very annoying to date,and most of the guys bashing you will not even want their sisters to date a stingy guy.
You can imagine visiting your bf and he can't even out of politeness offer you water to drink.
Or you get him a gift for Christmas and the only thing he does for you on your birthday is to send WhatsApp message.
Speaking from experience....

The way many guys responded to this thread is not only lame but very worrisome.

It is very obvious that they did not read or comprehend the thread. They kept referring to ladies with entitlement mentality whilst I clearly made it clear in the thread that it is about them being sensitive even without the lady asking for a dime.

miniziter:
It's already 2 years and the husband can't go to work not to talk of bringing money. He can't perform on bed and she has been the one doing the cleaning of all his mess.

The most annoying thing is that the family members of the husband despite being okay financially failed to help the family. Now she planning to either stay with the man and have a cuncubine outside or leave the man outrightly.

Which do you advise?

NB: They just gave to a child and she's still young. On the way, if she leaves the man, he may not see someone that will take care of him like she used to do.

This is very deep.

May we not find ourselves in a very difficult situation.

Toks2008:
I strongly believe that It is perfectly normal for any lady to want to be with a guy who can provide but not for her needs but for his family and until she becomes part of his family she has no right whatsoever to make demands except what the guy chooses to give to her.

Many ladies are quick to say... "I can't be with a man who can not take care of me, I can't suffer with any man''... and I tend to ponder over this statement...'' does it mean their ability to make wealth is dependent on a man or are they destined to suffer without a man fending for them?''...

In My opinion, the entitlement mentality is an easy bondage every woman must avoid at all costs. It breeds redundancy and loss of self-worth... It makes them look like leech only in search of a host to feed on. .. gives them a deluded self-belief and inflated sense of importance and in most cases makes them easy prey for sexual predators and men with Satanic motives.

I want ladies reading this to understand this homemade truth... YOU don't need any "well to do" man in your life before you can survive or make wealth regardless of your background, ... It is a silly mindset. You can make insane wealth all by yourself and this should be the paramount focus so that meeting a man ''who can take care of you'' will only be a plus and not a hustle...

Hope this makes sense.

Oya guys food don land.

uboma:
You are right on B).

However I feel that a stingy man is a no no.

What is bad is when the lady has the entitlement mentality and feels that the man must spend on her no matter what.


A man cannot be in a relationship and not spend money on calling her, taking her out occasionally for dinner or drinks, buy a small gift e.t.c

However a woman should not tell the man how to spend his money. She should not depend on him like he caused her birth. Women with the entitlement mentality are not my friends.

You just paraphrased my thread. Thanks for this.

Most of the olodo guys making comments only read the title and started yelping like a wounded banchee.

Openbusiness4:
dunt cum nia my moni, i wee skrrrraaapapassssscrrrratchhhhh yuuu ಠ_ಠ
[img]https://media1./images/d6b0701c44672702133d1b8cc26c0daa/tenor.gif?itemid=4987644[/img]

Craze guy... Oh my

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I have recieved several emails asking me for mentorship but I really don't have the time to do that but after a while I decide to set up a WhatsApp group to give people 80% accurate signals and analysis on EuroUsd or any other pairs you love.

If interested you can send me your number and you will receive the invitation link.

Trust me guys, you are about to experience a positive 360% turn around in your trading experience.

Send your number to olakoredey@gmail.com with subject: please add me.

Thanks.

Covid19 has changed the world.

MrBrownJay1:
there is NOTHING natural about dating a babe and suddenly taking care of her needs... only donkeys do that....then when that woman finish the education that you've paid for, and she now goes to marry Jide, you will be the one coming here crying with BS stories....

its wrong to take care of women simply because A) its a wrong mindset in any union that turns women into good for nothing lazy people, who will now view men as a poverty alleviation tool, B) that woman had needs before you met her and could take care of them before you came into her life,,, why change that?!?! C) money has no VALUE when it comes to choosing or evaluating a man, because guess what? there will always be a man richer than you out there. therefore if thats what your woman values then she will never be yours and instead will be available to any rich man out there....who wants such good for nothing olosho in their lives?! but most importantly, D) what kind of r/ship or family do you expect to get with a woman who thinks she doesnt have to do shiit no more because her man will now take care of her? what kind of life this lazy woman will have if/when you lose your job? what kind of family will you raise with such good for nothing woman (expert in telemundo)? what do you think will happen the day you lose your job?!

in life, nobody should take care of ANYBODY (especially not when dating) and when you marry someone, then BOTH OF YOU have to work for the wellbeing of the family and kids. nobody should be lazy and stay home being expert in telemundo, while the other slaves away like a donkey....because 2 salaries would always be better than one. life is about sharing everything, and if you meet someone and they expect you to take care of them, then that person is NO GOOD. what man in his right mind would want to have a family with such liability?!?!

call me chairman of the stingy men of NL (that word doesnt scare me), because as i told you, MONEY DOESNT GROW ON TREES and i certainly know the value of money...and if a woman doesnt, then she is just a liability.

Guy stop yapping and go back and read with proper comprehension.

MrBrownJay1:
- giving is a proof of love but ONLY men should give?! what kind of rubbish one sided love is that? unless women take take care of men's life need too, then what you just wrote is the joke of the day.
- giving is a CHOICE, and the minute giving becomes a necessity upon which men are valued in a r/ship, then thats when you are losing the plot.
- any person who uses MONEY as a reason to love someone is just an undercover olosho. who wants to even date (let alone marry) such liability?!

Now I can see you just want to type cis your post shows that you did not read the piece or maybe you did but did not comprehend.

MajorOvakporaye:
another big loads of trash fit for the waste bin!!!

You are definitely a male.

MrBrownJay1:
bro, there are many women out there who dont need to be taken care of, who value men upon their character (and not how much money they will profit from them), and who are happy to receive a gift once in a while, WHEN THEIR MAN BELIEVES SHE DESERVES ONE. no wonder many women become oloshos when people like you teaches them that men will take care of their needs and put them on their head as their priorities. thats not only wrong for MEN, its a fallacy for WOMEN (who now value money and can be bought with a few gifts)

no wonder we now have Reginas marrying your great grandfather's mate, when we have boys thinking the way you do. why should women suffer and A) get a job to take care of their own needs or B) date a simple dude WHEN THEY CAN MARRY THEIR GRANDFATHER'S MATE AND BE COMFORTABLE AND LAZY?!?!

men thinking like you do are the problem of this world...

You must be one big stingy guy... Habba!

Funny enough you keep getting it wrong.

No one is saying ladies should expect any guy to take care of them but as a man it is natural to take care of your lady even without her asking. Why are you arguing this fact?

Wey Lalasticlala?

MrBrownJay1:
we know Toks and his opinion, as i have told you earlier. such mentality (and good for nothing lazy women) are the problem in this world. generosity is irrelevant to the future of a couple. generosity can never be valued as a foundation of family. imagine someone saying that, if your man isnt generous then he will be wrong for the future family?!

there are lots of good women out there with great mindset and who dont expect men to give them shiiit but CARE/LOVE/RESPECT and UNDERSTANDING. the ones that are seeking for handouts and gifts (before putting value upon a man) are liabilities!

a stingy man is a man who is careful with his money, and any man who is NOT careful with his money will be wrong for a family!

Guy better learn how to give cos giving is a proof of love.

Chrisrare:
though the op seems confused, i still think a broke guy doesn't have any business dating a girl when he shuld be hustling to make money.

What is the confusion here?

A broke guy can successfully date a lady. He only needs to avoid ladies with entitlement mentality.