₦airaland Forum

Lalasticlala..I guess this makes sense.

Idydarling:
good, I don't have 500k - 2mill, any business i can start with 50 to 100k ? thanks.

Start selling only delicious jollof rice and you don't even need a shop but a small space . once you start making like 2k average profit daily, relax and look for a greater business while this one pays the daily bills.

My 50cents

I guess I have to use my profession as an E-commerce consultant to profer a workable and sustainable module for this scheme.

Does anyone know their direct email address?

Lalasticlala from now on no more prewedding pics on fpage...this is what I love to see...

I wish them long life and a happily ever after experience.

Zane2point4:
Honestly i dont like how some people criticises the op,

I dont think he did wrong by trying to make his wife useful and a better person to the family.

Some women just think marriage is an employment opportunity, just be producing children only and no effort to assist your hubby.

Pls make sure she learns the trade before giving her the capital, such women can even squander the money blc she seems like she isnt the industrious type.

For this buhari period all hands must be on deck, not just open and close.

Yinmu!

Madam says..open shop for me let me start selling food stuffs to consumers but oga say No I'm a big man I want you to be a wholesaler abeg tell me if the oga own no too much?

What is there to learn from what you can do in a day...just ask those in it how much they sell what and follow suit.

The sense in all businesses is starting small.

wonukwuru:
I am adult married to a lady of 35years. We have been married since 2007. God has blessed us with 3 wonderful children( 2 boys and 1 girl). Before we got married, i agreed with my wife that i only want to have 2 kids ( I wouldnt mind if they just boys or girls. That means, Im not particular of the sex of the kids). My wife is a B.sc Accounting graduate, while myself, I am a Chartered Accountant, with a well paid job. My wife had a 3rd class degree. On several occassions, i have told her to go back to school for Post Graduate Diploma (PGD) in order to upgrade, but she plainly told me that she cannot go back to school again. When i asked her why, she told me that her brain cannot withstand any academic stree again. I also suggested to her, since you studied accounting in the university, why not enroll for ICAN program? When i said that to her, she told me that she could not go for PGD, is it ICAN that she can do? I have been thinking, what will i do for her to be like others.

Luckly, was transferred to Benin. I went with my family to Benin. We stayed over 4years in Benin. While we were in Benin, I told my wife to go and enroll for a 6months diploma programm in computer (because she is not computer literate). I paid over N110,000 for the 6months programme. My wife only went for the programme for 1month and stopped. She refused to complete the program. When I asked her, she told me that she will go back after she had "put to bed"( Then she was pregnant). Guys, its over two years now and the baby is even in pre-nursery school, yet my wife has not reminded me of going back to complete the programme.

Last year, she asked me to open a store for her, that she want to go into trading. When I asked her the nature of the business, she said, she wants to deal on selling rice, beans, yams, groundnut oil, etc. I now suggested that it will not be a problem, but she has to look for somebody who is already in the business so as to understudy the person for atleast 1month. She refused, saying that without her understudying anybody, that she can still make it. I told her that my reason of suggesting to her to understudy somebody was that, i wanted her to be selling in wholesale. My plan was to give like N1.5million. I told her, i cannot just release N1.5million to her for a business that she did not learn. I told her that N1.5million is not a small money. Brethren, that was why up til now, i have not opened the business for her.

My children's school fees is over N650,00 per term for the 3 kids. I provide for feeding. My wife does not want to do anything as to assist me in the family. I give her money for her hair, cream, bathing soap, panties and clothing. Im really getting tired. My salary does not carry the family again because of too much expenses.

Another problem now is, my wife's dressing is nothing to write home about. She dresses as if she is in her late 60s. I have complained to her on several occasion that i dont like the way she dresses, but each time i bring up the issue, she will get angry. People around, have meeting my sisters to tell them that my wife does not dress well as somebody that has gone to the university. Even in my house, my wife only tires wrapper. Nothing in her again attracts me to her. Infact, for the past 3 months, i have not slept with her. I sleep in the parlour while she sleeps in the bed room.

Else, i forget, my wife delibrately "took in" again since July last year. This is after we agreed that the 3 kids that we already have is enough. Her method is, each time i remind her of what to do as to be assisting me in the family, she will delibrately "take in".

My wife, went to the university but she cannot speak simple and correct english. She cannot write application letter. She cannot teach my kids who are in primary 2 and 5 respectively. I pay a lesson teacher N30,000 monthly for my kids but my wife is at home doing nothing. Since we got married, my wife has not sent me text message on her phone more than 3times. The ones that she sent, my brothers, there are lots of gramatical blunders. When i confronted her with the text message, she could not say anything. I was checking for some documents in my room last week, and i came across an application that my wife wrote to submit to a private school where she wants to teach. When i saw the letter, believe me, my brothers, one of my kids that is in primary 5 cannot write such rubbish.

What i thought she was before i married her, is not what she is. I cannot take her out for an occassion because she may embarrase me by her conduct in the public. I need a divorce but the problem now is, i did i court wedding with her. What should i do? Im confused.

I will be very blunt with you bro. .you are your own problem.

Yes there are three sides to every story which is his version her version and the truth but I will advice you based on the version you just presented.

You seem to be very autocratic in your dealings with her...for Petes sake why force education on her?

If she says she is done with schooling then let her be...now she said she wants to start food stuff biz which I see as an excellent idea and you spoilt everything with your domineering attitude asking her to go learn pooh...for Petes sake START SMALL and stop your big man approach to business.

You don't need to learn businesses you love from jack but you learn from your own experience and I'm telling you this authoritatively as an entrepreneur.

Please follow her dream and support her.

as for spoken English just buy her materials to improve herself and tell her to be humble enough to apologize in public over her poor command before communicating and that does the magic. ..who Grammer epp?

As for the children part you have all the blame..there are many options of family planning even without the use of condom so explore one.

As for the dress sense that is a simple issue...just pack all the cloths you hate to see on her and give it out then take her to boutique and replace them with the type you want to see on her..shikenah.

Bro as I wrote..your wife no get wahala...you are your own problem so deal with it.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I just have to be blunt on this. Remain blessed.

Beamborla:
You only keep scratching the surface and going off... Perhaps, you don't understand me.

Have a nice evening

What do you want me to write? maybe you should explain yourself better.

Beamborla:
Moral decadence and imperfection especially in the context I used it are two different things.

You didn't answer my question. You maintained there is nothing like loving someone for real, in your opinion, it's about identifying the reasons for loving the person and hope it's maintained. The possibility that life can happen and some of the reasons for loving the person disappears can not be overulled. Another is that it's possible to come across another person with the 'reasons' and even more. How do you deal with such situation if the love is not for real.

That is why I wrote about maintaining the condition.

You meet a sex dynamo and he makes your head spin in the bedroom and you say you just love him for real...he is broke,jobless and very arrogant but you say you just love him but in essence it is his koboko that you love then something happens and the koboko stops working and the other crazy stuffs become an issue and you are left with two options...TOLERATE OR LEAVE

Many marriages turn from real desire to tolerance in a short while and when you ask the couple,they call it love.

Can a man still love a lady who does not respect him, cook for him or allow him sx? I guess if there is anything like loving for real then no circumstance ought to tilt the emotional balance.

My advice for you..when a guy says I love you please ask him what he sees in you that makes him "love" u and once he tells you, try to maintain that condition or you stand the risk of being dumped...FACT!

Beamborla:
If you ask me, going after a lady because you find her sexually appealing is not even love in the first place. That's lust.

When people talk about being loved for real, they are referring to the ability of the person to see all their imperfections and accept it. They are referring to the ability of the person to see beyond their physical appearance and be aware of other treasures embedded in them.

Truth is, you'd always come across people who posses that which you find attractive in your partner and even more. You'd meet people better than your partner, people who meet your standards, who have qualites you never knew you'd find attractive. If it's all about your submission, what should one do when that happens?

All these theory is the reason why many marriages will crash and why many ladies will keep running from pillar to post looking for a man to love them for real.

I insist that there is nothing like loving anyone for real.

Talking about imperfections I guess there is also a limit to that...I can't love a sexually loosed lady in the name of loving for real neither can you love a man who is totally off from the qualities you want.

When you meet someone new just identify why you love that person and hope that reason is maintained else there will always be a break in the affair.

Beamborla:
This issue has been discussed in different forms/ways/format... It's fast becoming a cliché, and is already beginning to lose its value.


However, that of 'a man loving me for real', I don't get how that is out of place. Can you, please, explain further.

Why is the pressure to compromise always on ladies?

No man really loves you for real but there must be something he sees in you,about you,around you that makes him want you.

If I see a lady who is sexually pleasing to my eyes I simply go for her but will I say I love her for real?

Are there Noth several other ladies out there with no good curves and not too presentable?

misspicy:
Rules rules and rules everywhere.
Your first point is very flawed,if it takes been very careful to make the right decision I will do that,who wants to end up with a dangerous man or worst still a murderer or rapist?

There is no crime in marrying late.
So y'all need to chill on using that phrase as a threat.

I have nothing more to type,this rules have been over flogged especially by Toks,are there no new topics to talk about?
You keep recycling the same sh!t since 2015,I remember giving myself headache cos of your threads,now all I see in them is a joke.

I will pass on this

You this girl again in 2017...must you open my threads?

Amazingly you don't even understand the difference between being careful and being too careful neither do you understand the difference between rules and anomalies..gosh! is this how you want to continue in 2017?

Your sarcasm knows no bounds walahi..you claim I recycle yet you keep trolling on my threads..please if you have nothing intelligent to write just read comments from intelligent people OK!

[quote author=LegalBaby post=52495013][/quote]If you see this as against then work on yourself.
I call it insightful and note hateful.

I will be as blunt as i can in addressing these ignorant notions some Nigerian ladies have towards marriage.

1.Being too careful about her choice of man:

OK I understand you are the type that is so scared of venturing into marriage so you want to be very careful in choosing that man you will likely spend your life with..but I'm sorry to be the carrier of BAD NEWS..."No matter how careful you may be,every marriage is filled with uncertainties...even if you marry an angel,he could turn to a demon so just take the risk and be ready to confront any uncertainty you find else you may remain scared and single for a very long time.
Infact the more careful you are the greater the possibility of making a mistake.

2.I want a man who will love me for real:

I'm very vast in English language but when it comes to this sentence,the more I try to understand the more confused I get..."love you for real" like seriously!

You better get this fact now,if loving you for real means loving you with your imperfections then i might agree to an extent else...NO MAN CAN LOVE YOU FOR REAL except that real is substituted for many things like love you for your curves,intelligence,manners.....so stop using this ackward sentence and try to develop something a man can desire you for...no man wants a woman for nothing.

3.Wanting a made guy or financially OK guy:

I honestly have nothing against this except the fact that being financially OK is relative and we don't ever get to know the definition of "being financially ok"

But then I kinda wonder why ladies fail to understand that most guys in their late 20s and early 30s are still trying to find their feet which means a lady who wants a made guy is inadventedly saying she wants a married man or sugar daddy because most made men in Nigeria are in their mid or late 30s and in their 40s and would have been married.

However,the few younger ones who are made can not have more than one wife.

Ladies should try to be financially independent so that they can be disciplined enough to start a life with a guy rather than struggling with several ladies to be with a "made" guy or ending up as a side chic of a made guy.

4.I can not suffer with a man because he could dump me latter:

This is one of the dumbest notion many Naija ladies have and anytime I hear a lady says this I just give her that stupid look of a looser.

Are you doing any guy a favor by dating him when he is broke? For Petes sake you have every right to walk away from any affair if you dim fit and staying with a struggling guy is your choice and not a favor. ..if he latter becomes rich and he dumps you,just walk away rather than use those words to blackmail him.

5.My wedding will be the talk of the town:

I totally agree that a grand wedding is the dream of most ladies and I also share in this dream but the question is this; "Is it a do or die to have a grand wedding"?
What is wrong in having an intro and registry wedding and latter plan for the grand one when the funds are there?

Don't be deceived. ..8 out of 10 grand weddings in Nigeria are sponsored.

I think this is one area many ladies are destroying their lives because a guy will do you like a wife and enjoy all the wify benefit while telling you he is not ready for a grand wedding and you will continue to foolishly play along until he dumps your overused ass for a younger lady when he is finally ready...biko receive sense.

6.GOD has not confirmed him or my Pastor said he is not the one:

Like seriously! OK get this straight. ..it is good to listen to the word of GOD or to follow your pastor's advice but hello! when it comes to choosing a spouse GOD has clearly made it our duty to look for a spouse and he will gladly give us his favor ...Proverbs 18:22:
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD".

The best you can do is to pray to God that a good guy finds you and when next a prophet or pastor tells you a certain guy is not for you...simply ask him with humility to tell you who your man is..his name,house address,complexion....

7.I can't marry a man I have no feelings for:

Your feeling is very important when choosing a man but pray he also has feelings for you else you will end up in tears no matter how deep your feelings for him is.

This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you.

Getting married to a man may be hinged on your feelings but staying married to him is primarily dependent on how he feels towards you.


8.Marriage is a beautiful and wonderful institution:

I'm so sorry to tell you another bad news...."marriage is very turbulent and you will feel like running out"

At the intial stage it will seem like its so beautiful and made in heaven but that is the initial gragra stage. But when the reality stage sets in you will come to know the true picture of marriage but the good news is that you can make yours always beautiful if you can learn to tolerate, forgive,forgive and forgive because only two forgivers can make a beautiful marriage.

9.If my husband truly loves me,he will never cheat on me:

I know this issue is over-flogged and many ladies will never agree to this fact..."YOUR HUSBAND CAN HAVE EYES FOR ONLY YOU AND IN FACT COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU LEAVE HIM YET CAN STILL CHEAT ON YOU"...sounds stupid I guess but that is just the truth..

Just warn your husband that if he must do let him go far far away from you and must use protection...I always say...only a foolish lady will hinge her marital happiness on her husband's sexual faithfulness to her.

I'm not supporting philandering but this is just how the cookie crumbles.

10.I want a tall cute rich romantic sexy....

Habba sister just negodu there...only you one...please there is a difference between real life and Telemundo. .you can not have all you want in one man and if you think you have then kudos to you. Many ladies cheat on their hubbies or fiance because they can't help comparing...

Tade is good in bed but not rich enough...Richard spoils me with money but very boring in bed and Seun is so caring but.... so you run to Richard to get money,you remember Tade when you feel like having a good time and Seun comes to mind if you want to feel loved..YOU ARE A SORRY CASE.

Just go for a man that has the average qualities and settle down...no man has it all.

As long as a lady is ready to face these facts then she will definitely have no problem in her marriage but if you find yourself totally uncomfortable with one or more of the points listed above, i will advice you remain single until you are mature enough to accept them.

My humble opinion

goingape:
show me a decent black woman and I will show you a treasure yet to discovered!. we don't have decent women in this country again other than our mothers of those times. what we have is bunch of useless women parading with diggers and axe just to drain you.


thanks for your advise once again.

Hmmm!

bublin:
Na God go bless you for me,in fact abundant blessing for this your comment. Na yu get sense pass, in fact am hugging yu now.#No homo meant oooo

Lol!

Quintessential1:
Honestly, what this guy is saying is the truth. We aren't about being broke here. As long as you can feed yourself and at least 2/3 extra mouths without begging, then you can get married if you find a woman who loves you and who you love in return.

The truth is when you have "money," yes, there'll be girls in their droves. But these are girls who'll only see you as means to to an end. As a security! And they'll do nothing but pretend they love you. Trust me, girls pretend like crazy! And with their high end pretence, you'll end up being saddled with a wife who doesn't quite love you for you, but who has chosen to get married to the best available financial option she had.

The best bet is to marry a lady who has something to bring to the table....if a man makes 30k a month and the woman makes 30k a month and the guy has a roof over his head then go on and do an intro and registry marriage then plan for the big one when the money comes.

With 60k you two can start a life and feed even one more mouth while you both work harder to make life better.

My example is for the worst case scenario.

If you like say until you become a million aire before you marry...your risk cos you can only work hard and wish you make that millions fast enough.

Never in my life will I ever make the mistake of getting into an affair with a lady who has nothing doing...it's a total risk and serious frustration as she will pour all her needs on you.

PaperLace:
I love guys that drive manual cars.
There is something very manly and sexy about them, especially when they change gears.
A brother that can conveniently and expertly switch gears...hmm,I feel they're very good in the other room

Guys that play video games? Just kill me
I love them.

Nothing wey we no go read for nland lol!. .

MarieSucre:
Height - Short guys are a no-no

Intelligence - Pls be able to hold a conversation with me. Be well versed in the world around you, not just your job or football.

Hygiene - that wearing one boxers for four days no go work o.

Eyebrows - pls have thick eyebrows. Plsss. I love eyebrows so much.

That's it.

That means I will sweep you off your feet at first glance..lol!

No make up...looking 100% natural

Estharfabian:
You're Misconstruing something.
Courtship should be platonic, Then, Dating usually isn't.

Well, I'd still Choose Dating, Courtship Over Due-Delligence.

In due-deligence, They have no context of who they are, past decision making or an idea of what they are looking for in a spouse...

The problem is that arranged marriage(Due-delligence) is not a good fit for Us. Most people value individual liberty more than life itself. Giving this most important decision to someone else is not something many of us are comfortable with.

How can you know what personality you fit well with if you don't DATE the other person? The result can be a mismatched couple and a marriage that is difficult to sustain.

[color=deeppink]Like allowing Parents or Any other Overgrown Adult to INVESTIGATE Someone I wanna spend my whole life with? Not only is it So Old-fashioned, It's Just ludicrous, Unfathomable and dysfunctional. I feel Like Dating allows you Really get to know someone, emotionally, physically, On a basis Due-deligence wouldn't.[/color]

forget the sexual gratification ish..we girls could handle Ourselves. so, your point on baseless sexual gratification is flawed. so, I'm sticking with Courtship, Sex and dating! Fück due-delligence!

Well this is your opinion but as a guy with a little experience I will advice you do due deligence on the man before you ever allow yourself fall deeply.

The problem with many is that they allow their feelings to deter them from doing the needful.

Due diligence first before courtship and if there is no more time for courtship then due diligence it is....in fact ladies should do more of due diligence than courting.

When you make love or better put have sex with anyone sinfully, you become one with such whether you use 100condoms or no condom.

Becoming one means you share every spiritual status of that person and of course the negative ones which include demons,curses and so on.

Neyoor:
At 41
.


I must say you've had lots of experience to have gone this far. I understand there is no where one can not find his or her soulmate, once you are able to picture the attributes you want in a lady is her, then you are good to go, irrespective of other people's opinion.

I like your tenacity and diplomacy in handling this case so far and i hope something good comes out of it.

But your case and that of fortuneTeller often amazes me. This moment you are cool and the other moment you are not

@the embolden.. i am very open minded..if its meant to be then it will be...i just love ladies who know what they want and are daring enough to go for it. Responsible Guys in my age bracket don't have time chasing skirts about.

At this juncture i will be signing off from this chat thread.

Thanks fortuneTeller for being naughty and for lady39 i hope to hear or read from you.

Signing out.

Berlynn:

is Lala on MMM??

I'm not sure about that but I was referring to a thread where a guy mentioned you and him as crushers lol!


https://www.nairaland.com/3550717/which-these-two-better-option

Berlynn:
I will join MMM maybe tats where my future husband is we must find oursleves if nairaland/facebook cannor find us MMM will find us!!



patiently waiting for the return of MMM

So this is the lalasticlala crush a guy wrote about in my most recent thread...lalasticlala biko no dull yourself o..the babe tight.

Neyoor:
I understand bro, just play save. I know something like this is inevitable and that's why I backed out of the argument that ensued between you and fortuneteller on the other day. Like I said then, there is more to it and I'm glad I'm witnessing as things unfold now.

Playing safe it is.

Many people ask me why I'm still single and I tell them that I have my reasons...

Before cyber crime became popular I have known about it,I'm too intelligent to go into such madness...I'm an Alpha male who believes in working hard and taking care of the woman in my life regardless of how much she makes as income.

I hate lies and I tell you as it is which is why I have an open book policy about my life...

That was why I confronted fortuneTeller and even created a thread "why marriage is scam"

There is no crime if you want to build your life in a country where legitimacy pays..a place where hard work pays and where you have better prospect in your chosen career.. what if it will take sincere marriage to achieve that what is the fuse about?

As far as I'm concerned,as long as a lady is pleasing to my eyes,sexually faithful to me,cooks well,knows good skills in the other room and loves GOD then let her get Ready to grow old with me whether she is a Nigerian,Togolese, Briton or American

At 41 I have come to realize that jumping from one lady to another is baseless.

Lady39:
Lol...I keep trying to move away from this thread....but to no avail! No there's nothing wrong with talking with Mr. Toks2008, BUT I don't know why u want to play matchmaker? U r correct...I said initially (in a particular post with someone) at the beginning of last month when I initially joined Nairaland, that I wanted to explore my other "half"....and I'm doing so..nicely and in the way that I like. Mr. Toks2008 (although personable) isn't the only person who I can talk with on here. In fact, there's a thread (in this room) that someone just put out about a lady needing a serious relationship with a man. Why not go to that thread and suggest Mr.Toks2008 for her?
U would think that I had spoken with u about my relationship status...the way u have invested in this!! Lol
I'm just enjoying my life and the way I'm exploring Nairaland. I don't even mean to be rude to folks...but I have only answered maybe 4 of the "pm's" I've received for this very reason right here...LOL...not wanting to give the wrong impression.
I avoided the "DatingZone" only to end up in it..with all of this being played out publicly!! It wasn't a room I wanted to explore...but u can't seem to understand that...lol.
Mrs. FortuneTeller...I like u....even though I should be angry with u..which is the irony of this whole thing.
I read the whole exchange between u and Mr. Toks2008 on the "American woman Gets Scammed by a Nigerian" post...and boy was that a post!!! That's why I find it extremely interesting that u would suggest me to him? Forgive me for being a little "weirded" out by all of this. U have to stop with the "predictions" though.....

I can't stop laughing out real loud..

Funny enough I did not send you a PM but rather approached you directly by putting my number here which tells you one thing about me...SINCERITY...

When we get talking I will reveal many things to you...things fortuneTeller has no clue about and those are the very premises of my decision.

Mikylopez:
hard work pays meeeeehn...... one has to work hard to live in luxury. no faking...eniola badmus went to pay him a visit and instantly became ty bello issok oooo

When I say it's good to be in a country where hard work pays some people misconstrued my notion.

I can imagine if any Eyimba player can afford this.

God save Nigeria

Neyoor:
Lols! It's normal anyway. Orelse, some guys will take the advantage of the easy ride if it comes easy.

If you check all my write ups you will agree that I'm too mature to see any lady as easy ride.

FortuneTeller:
Is there any harm in talking with Toks2008? You said you were trying to discover more about your Nigerian roots. He is a great talker and intellectual. I've had to beat him in the past for some of his behavior, but I like his style. When I saw some of the things you posted, I thought the both of you would pair well together. I predict in 6 months time, the two of you will be in a relationship. Please don't be shy about the announcement when the time comes.

Hmmm!

Fortune teller...just as your ID depicts.

I'm really scared of you tho cos you tend to know so much about me and I mean stuffs I never revealed online so I'm not ruling out your postulation.

Justeenaleo:
Both actually works, you do the courtship, when you think you are ready to settle due diligence can then follow, parents can then do that maybe.

This works for young people who still have time to waste.

Timelezz:
It's a tough call ,Toks. The signs of the time is pointing towards individual freedom and more freedom for better or worse.

And history does not bear favourably on marriages done at the behest of parents. Some gave away their daughters/sons for the consolidation of material acquirement and financial rewards.

Media culture and the force of social media has made communication and relationship so easy and discrete, parents are genuinely intimidated.

Some parents do get so desperate they actually follow their kids into Facebook and other such platforms to steer them back into the paths of the good old ways.

I'm afraid it's a generational war of conventions and our parents lack the wherewithal to win this.

Amazingly you kept hammering on the parents...

You can do due diligence without involving your parents.

EmperorLee:
Lol true though. Nice write up anyways.


Lalasticlala come make we epp you do due diligence for Berlynn. *PicksRace

Oh is that lalastic's crush?

I have been wondering who he has eyes for on nairaland.