₦airaland Forum

Berbierklaus:
I disagree with you.

What your writeup encourages is slavery of women,you are a chauvinist,who is out of touch with women.
I don't pray for my worst enemy to marry men like you.

oya tell me the woman that was battered was not submissive

Why do you always write like a garragian?

I can't continue this discussion until you write in a cultured manner...sorry

Berbierklaus:
Your ideology is flawed boda Tokunbo.

Olorun ma je ke daran lojo kan

You know what?

Why not wait until you are married for like 5years before you pass judgement on my write ups.

What I write on relationship can only make real sense to the married.

Berbierklaus:
This woman should have been extra submissive to her husband na,that is what Toks2008 said,maybe he wouldn't have battered her this much.

Let her continue to be submissive to him jore

Se won ran e si mi ni?

AccessME:
At about a month ago,various topics/comments about masturbation fluid Nairaland while some supported it,some dismantle it as a wayward lifestyle that is capable of destroying ones destiny in a short period of time. anyways, base on my experience, masturbation is not only a destiny killer but a strength sucker and confidence destruct..



I am not typing this piss to gain attention but I am doing this to make you see the defect of masturbation on me and have been on some other persons which they wouldn't disclose to anyone but silently dying inside. enough of beating around the bush though, let's get down to the main reason of me creating this thread.


In 2007,i had my first contact with a pornographic content and at 14years old then,i did not know what sex was and how it was practice by two consenting adults not until my friend involved me in watching pornography. At first I didn't wanted to watch it but was initiated thus ended up liken it after my first organism that day,i felt nothing can be as sweet as watching pornographic movie.This made me love pornography more than any other movie in reason that it makes me ejaculate which I felt at a tender age was sweet and satisfying. I started going to a neighbor house to steal pornography movie to watch.At a tender age,i never knew any word called "masturbation" but only felt the sweetness that comes with it thereby making me partake in it at any single opportunity consequently affected me.

Whenever I happen to watch Indecency movie,i masturbate and frequently I involved myself in this act,my conscience always judge me. At a time I started feeling weak,my bones became shrinking as if I am an Old man,i couldn't standstill any more all because my strength was taken away by the evil trait of masturbation, I started staying indoors/away from my friends all in the name of masturbation which made my confidence level reduce drastically,nobody told me the disadvantage masturbation is melting on me but I had to withdraw from it all for making me shiver when talking with pairs,i couldn't walk straight anymore. I became misbehaving and disrespectful to people around me. pains gripped my eyes as if I am going blind I couldn't see far distance anymore in other words I became very lazy as I wouldn't want to partake in house chores and this affected the fair relationship I had with my parents.

Although my story and yours may not be the same probably I masturbated excessively brought about the aforementioned defects on me but the fact remains..
Masturbation is indeed a warward lifestyle..

Regards!!!

Thank God you used the right words and I was expecting to see that sin word ...

As I wrote in my thread about the act...it can destroy you if unchecked just like every other habit that can be addictive.

If you watch TV too much it can destroy you likewise betting,playing video games, eating and many more.

Whatever you do just don't get addicted.

8 months old...HABBA!

uzolexis:
I have already been won over by an amazing man, don't waste your time dear

Then I pray he marries you but if you are already married then try to be submissive to avoid story that touch.

On this note I will be signing out of this no hold bar thread.

Thanks to the viewers, the intelligent contributors and the trolls....it was worth it.

Wishing you all a great weekend.

kretoz:
Op ur write up sounds funny and stupid, Now I believe that age does not mean one is ready for marriage, no wonder your wife left you, it's such a shame that you want submission from ur wife while you don't respect, love and even cherish her, I read a post on Nairaland where a taxi driver was calling his wife all sorts of name and was insulting her just because the woman thought her husband asked her to open the Okpa for him while what he said was that the woman should eat the okpa if she is hungry, According to the narrator, the woman was begging the man while he continued to abuse her and call her names and you expect a woman to be submissive to that kind of man? please think again. I once heard of a divorce story where the woman seeking for divorce demanded custody of her kids cos she always paid her husband for sex right from their wedding day, now the woman after having 3 kids for the man decided that enough is enough, and went for divorce, the man on his own side did not deny the story as he believed it's the duty of the woman to pay him for his services (Intercourse) else he will go and get it outside. my question now is will you advice the woman to be submissive when the man in question has no regards for her, please stop deceiving people. Marriage is a union that involves the partners treating each other the way they want to be treated. Mind you that no woman on earth enters marital institution with the view of disobeying their husband, in fact most women try as much as possible to make the marriage work but believe me when I tell you that there is a limit to what a woman can take, you can take my advice or better still throw it in to the trash can but please stop deceiving people with Bible quotations that only favour your attitude and sex instead be specific and speak on both sides. as for ur write up, too trashy to read.

Let me just correct a misconception in your rethorical, historical and ecclesiastical mumbo jumbo...

My wife did not leave me but wanted space which I felt was as a result of her spending all her life with me as I met her when she was just a teenager.

Without mincing words..she came back and I had to tell her to leave cos she was still unprepared to calm down.

I have the most amazing lady in the world and if I have to choose again I will choose her but a man must be a man.

So please stop spitting trash like a m*Ron and address the issue on ground.

It is totally foolish to pick on a writer while neglecting the subject matter..

I hate trolls with serious passion and I would have ignored you but I just have to correct your f**lishness.

uzolexis:
No Nigerian woman will even marry him sef.

It won't take me more than once to win you over.

Rather than thank me for revealing the secret of lasting union you are just picking quarrels with me...na wah for you.

engrelvis:
D issue of marriage is a very delicate tin.most of our women here v lost it.submission does nt mean u r a slave.a submissive woman will always win at d end of d day.forget d macho tin.men r like babies.submit n reverence dem n u will have dem eating from yr hands.is an inborn tin in all male species even animals want to b in charge.is how we were made.but sadly in dis part of d world women equate money to respect n submission. Most women r submissive when the man has money. Our women should change dis mentality of their man being their ATM machine. This is because when most women here begins to make money unconsciously dey feel dey dnt v need to respect their man.poverty mentality v really destroyed our women..

Insightful

Princedapace:
Pls, I want to ask u one question... If God allows u to b tempted and u passed thru harsh dificulties, will u stop submitting to Him? That is why the OP said submission is unconditional. Look...this is how it is but we as humans have edited a lot from the scripture to meet our personal needs. But deep down our heart, we know the truth. It is a two way thing, yes, love and submission. But I'm sure the op wrote this becus wives are having issues with the word " submission" even under the love of their hubby. So many women are indirectly being taught not to submit to hubby.. I know what I'm saying...they beliv it is master servant like. These days...u see wives making rules any how within the family. So...I think the op wanted to address that. Submission may sound ugly to women but that is the truth and that is the only way there can be happiness in the marriage.. This is why the submission was compared to that expected of the church to Christ. No matter the trial, troubles, pains, temptations etc u are expected to submit to Christ. If the comparison is anything to go by...it is means that no matter what your hubby does to u, u are expected to submit to him. Remember....not even at gun point must u deny Christ..u still need to be loyal.. There is a reason for that comparison recorded in the bible..if u understand the true nature of submitting to God.. U av no excuse as a wive not to submit to ur hubby..

What I tell women is to pray hard not to marry bad hubby becus too much powers and authority were given to men by the creator... I also tell them that if they av issues wit that...they can question Eve, their mother who brought that pronouncement against them... Remember when God said to Eve when she sinned "for this, ur husband shall rule over u" that statement changed everything...I know is painful...but this is just the truth. As for me... I will try as much as possible to allow my wife to have little space to be her self too.. It is just about marrying a good man.

Please give me your parents house address...I want to go thank them for raising such an intelligent young man...

ItsQuinn:
you can simply leave the relationship na, it's not by force

Lobatan!

if you can submit to him...LEAVE

Afribiz:
Mr man, I put it to u that u are in no way qualified to talk about marriage, cos u are so biased. I don't even see u as one who can make a happy home, with this ur ego.

Husbands love ur wives unconditionally, and wives submit to ur Husbands unconditionally. It's as simple as that. Why then are u stressing "submission" and giving conditions for the "love" which was actually the first order?

U come here to brag about ur personality and how u can freely hv 3some every nite, yet u hv the audacity to quote the Holy bible U son of lucifer... disgusting home breaker.

One mystery about some women I may never unravel is their way of picking quarrels unecessarily. ..

Abeg why u dey fight yourself?

Someone made a derogatory remarks and I responded by telling her I "could" have 3some each night "if" I want to so why kill yourself over that?

Abeg no add High BP join bodi for this Buhari Era o.

By the way why did you twist my write up?

Se won fi se awon obinrin Kan pe ki won ma ni la ka ye ni?

Iffffffy:
Treat your woman right and she will have no reason not to respect and submit to you.

Absolutely but the question is..must you submit to him only if he treats you right?

zeongeon:
If women or any woman has a problem with the word submission or fear your husband then I think they should take there fight to God and not to the men after all its God that inspired the word submission or fear for women in marriage.

How some women claim to love God and yet have a problem with his commandment of submission to there husband I don't understand...Ironically, you have more women in the church who claim to love God than men but yet find it so hard to obey the God they claim to love.

if you can't submit to your husband that you see is it God that you don't see that u want to obey and submit too.

If with God women want to play complicated.

@Toks2008 your on point. If any woman has a problem with Submission then go and pick your quarrel with GOD.

My broda I tire o...

The quotes from the book of Peters sum it up.

1 Peter 3:1-22
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
The book of peters acknowlegde that some men will be outrightly sturbborn and unworthy of your submissiveness but still submit all the same cos you can make them change.

So it is clear that submitting to your husband is a must even if he does not deserve it.

If you believe you can't submit to him for whatever reason then leave the marriage..Simple

Ishilove:
Baba to segzy! Baba to sure baje!! Tall, dark and sexy

Swerrie how you dey jare?
Awon omo obinrin nairaland yii o ni pa mi

Gboyee4fun:
Don't worry about them, I can see that you have been raised by God to bring back the human being life by love, don't get discouraged, I don't know how I can send you a video of a great teacher so that it can encouraged you that you are on the right path....I can send it to you through Whatsap....08132278890

Cool...I will add you...thanks bro

max1234:
keshi told us dat Uche is not tactical discipline, dat he does not play according to his instructions. My question is, has Uche changed from indiscipline to disciplined player, when and how cos Keshi has not told us, or is it dat Uche is good for qualifying series n not the main tournament? These are some areas Keshi must explain, thanks

Let's chat on watsup on 08023146046...

Thanks

deathcomestoall:
I cannot believe you. A woman is disrespected and yet should give respect. You forget life is give and take. Means the woman should cheat too and her husband has no right to disrespect her. Pathetic.

Life is a give and take thing but when it comes to submitting to your husband please read what peter has to say

1 Peter 3:1-22

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

The book of peters acknowlegde that some men will be outrightly sturbborn and unworthy of your submissiveness but still submit all the same cos you can make them change.

nwamehn:
Ur view on certain issues might not always be acceptable to me but I sure love the way u respond to people here, especially the ones that come for e-war. Keep it up bro.

My broda nah maturity o.

The way some people attack me ehn sometimes i just feel like giving them a hot e-slap but i just try to calm down to respond in the most frank and calm manner.

Thanks

misspicy:
I wish I was that woman

I reject people like Toks2008 in Jesus name

If you really know me you would fast and pray to have my clone as your man.

jeff1993:
............ Bro u are correct ..... May God increase ur knowledge ...... I had an encounter wit one of d most brilliant economics of our time ....... I travelled wit my frnd to his villa ..... during d course of d travel we went to visit mrs okonjo Iweala ........ Do u knw dis woman still serves her husband food .....even as popular as she is!!! ..... even kneeling down a little when serving d food!!! ... I was so awed ...... I pray to God that women of dis generation wud take a cue from women of past generation n learn how it is done!!!!!

Can you imagine?

That is a woman who has gotten to the zenith of her career yet you see many young ladies who should rather calm down to learn asking for my head simply because i am revealing to them the ultimate secret of marital longevity or even courtship sustainability.

I know many ladies bashing me for my threads will surely remember the facts latter...its a matter of time.

Ngokafor:
..One of your biggest problems is that you talk and blab too much..and because you talk too much,half of what you say usually deserves the trash can..

..It was you who flooded Nairaland in the past(like you do now) lamenting and regaling all who cared to read on how your wife left you for another man...that is how i and countless others got to know your 'woman' problems...or you wanna deny that?..but thats a story for another day.


.....The truth of the matter is that you know nothing about relationships and marriage if its based on the craps you post all over Nairaland in the name of 'counsellorship'..

..Tokunbo you are not an authority on marriage and relationships because your views about women are twisted and warped..Therefore respect yourself and stop this nonsense.

I dont know your gender but Now i can see a perfect picture of who you are...You are the jobless full housewife or jobless guy who goes about spreading unfounded stories.

I can not remember ever writing that my wife left for another man and i give you the whole day to dig into my past posts to bring that out.

Your problem is apparent...you are frustrated probably because you have been jilted many times. Please i beg you, im not the cause of your problem so dont come online to pour your frustrations on me.


My life is an open book and if i must write threads about romance i believe it is imperative to talk about my personal life but that does not give you the right to start imagining crazy stories that never happened.

No lady has never left me for another man so get your facts right and stop your low life disposition online.

I have told you on several occasions when you barge into my threads to troll that there is an easier way of ignoring without disgrtacing yourself just as you have successfully done once more today.

I am happy that the mods usually put my name after my threads so whenever you see toks just ignore and scroll down to view other threads.

If your act of trolling is to get my attention then im so sorry i cant date your type because you are not intellectually sound enough and if you are a man please get off my threads.

Have a nice day.

Gboyee4fun:
may God blesses you richly.

Amen bro..the unfortunate twist is that only few ladies who got the message appreciated while many ladies wjo are either still single or have gone through series of affairs keep bashing me. This is a clear signal that many ladies should remain single fore life rather than make themselves an object of ridicule by getting divorced.

If you refuse to submit to your man then you will continue to jump from one man to another because after the initial gragra wears out from the new man, he will get to know your real color and dish you for another lady.

I am not begging any lady to be submissive but i will urge the stubborn ones to continue in their delusion until they realize how late it has become.

This is an excerpt from my write up.

"No woman has any business with marriage or any serious romantic affair with a man until she is ready to "submit,honor,respect,reverence her husband to the maximum level just as she will respect the lord.Show me a submissive woman and I will show you a peaceful and lasting union.Being submissive does not mean you should obey your man blindly or go against the commandments of GOD neither does it make you a zombie or a mindless person but it means being meek,humble and serene even when you disagree with your man as many times as possible.Believe it or not,no matter how many relationships you get involved in,you will always have issues if you don't learn how to submit yourself to your man".

I still wonder what on earth is wrong with this simple lines.

I also wrote

"And as the man,for whatever reason you choose to marry that lady, if you are not ready to love that woman with her imperfections and without exception with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of loving-kindness all the days of your life please don't propose marriage to her".

The problem with many people is that they are too lazy to read and some who take time to read usually finds it hard to comprehend except few ..

uzolexis:
My dear, I don't think you know this OP. He is a known male chauvinist and any one (male or Female) who takes him serious does that at their own peril. You can try from today till eternity to make him understand that women should also be treated right cos they have feelings and are not zombies but he will never get it....ust look at my signature.

This is why i have resorted to getting a village uneducated lady as a wife because some of these ladies are more intelligent than many so called educated ladies.

Please can you make intelligent submissions like some smart and brainy ladies have done on this thread? I am definitely positive that you did not read the thread as usual but barge in to comment.

Even if you are too lazy to read at least try and read a paragraph every hour before making comments.

Ngokafor:
.....I honestly pity the gullible and ignorant males on Nairaland who swallows @toks2008 silly posts on marriage and relationships hook,lline and sinker..


..You will simply end up like him..alone and single cos of failed relationships if you do not do the right thing and act responsibly as a man and head of your home.


....Most males on-line are consummed with unrealistic impression of how a wife should be,they just love to have 'a stepford wife' kind of woman...Unfortunately for you all,women are waiting off-line to jolt you to reality.

Did you say alone?

Im sorry to say this.... i am too cute,intelligent,financially stable and confident to be alone.

If you must know i could have a 3some every night and each night if i so desire so please stop fooling yourself with a presumed perception of who toks is.

I have a passion for writing and all i write here is independent of my persona but because you are not intelligent enough to understand my threads you will always troll. It is because of this anomaly in our today's world that has kept me from picking a lady yet.

If you must know, i am not on nairaland to look for a woman and i have never wooed any lady on nairaland in my 9years of membership.

I really pity the type of men or women that will make the big mistake of marrying an unintelligent person because that is a disaster.

Please tell me what on earth is the problem with this thread rather than troll.

I hate trolls.

Beamborla:
The problem is trying to hinge one on the other. Let husbands love their wives come what may and women submit to their husbands come what may.

The OP is emphasizing on the woman's submittion while excusing the man's inability to love is wife on the basis that she's not submissive.

The Bible mandated both parties to play their roles and did not give any condition whatsoever. Even the most unruly man wants submission when he's not playing his part and the OP is justifying it making them believe they need not be good. Wait for your wife to submit before loving her and even if you don't treat her right, suffer not yourself, she must submit.

The Bible has placed the man as the leader and Lord the house, no problem. How many men are ready to be a leader and not a boss? Don't forget that to be a leader, you'd have to serve your subjects first and always. I'm not denying that some women are poison as well.

But a biased writeup of this nature will do more harm than good. OP, your writeup is biased.

Since she must submit even if he's not worth it, do you agree that he must love and treat her right even if she's not submissive?

My sis you are right to believe my thread is biased but the sincere truth is that it is not.

The first step for a woman to live a happy life in this cruel world of men is to see herself as an endangered specie.Indeed it is a cruel world of men so if you refuse to submit because a man is not living up to expectation you will be the one to lose at the end and i have seen many ladies who think they are so hot and would leave their marriage in a jiffy but i always tell these ladies that its a move in futility because each man you meet will always have a character you must tolerate and when these ladies get to certain ages they become so vulnerable and lonely and will not mind to take worse shits.


I have my reasons for directing my threads to ladies more because if they can try to get it right then they will be happier. Men are stubborn and even if you preach to them,that crazy ego will still override them so the best is to preach to ladies who seem to be more receptive.

mamawin:
I have seen many women left their marriages because their husbands cheated, only for them to marry already married men. to me that is not the solution, because the problem remains. submission and respect are two things that can make marriage last longest. you won't even get to know your partner's fault, BUT there are exceptional cases ooo

Here you are as zebudia use to say.

Sometimes when i create some threads and some people just barge in to curse and attack me i just laugh calmly because i know that most people who abuse me for my no holds bar threads today will likely remember it in the nearest future.

I presume you must be a very married lady because your insightful comment depicts it. Nice submission.

CindyeMerAld:
what do u classify as been submissive??

Oh my! I'm so surprised that this innocuous act of submission has become a herculean task for ladies.

My simple classification is just as precise as the meaning..SUBMIT

Disagree with your man in an arrogant manner and watch his reaction but disagree with him in a meek manner and he is likely to flow with you.

The devil is so smart that he has complicated the simple act of submission .

repogirl:
this is not true. A wicked man/ one who never loved his wife will do what he will do whether his wife is submissive or not.

Go and read the story of Esther...it will help you understand better.

Even women of great authority in the past were submissive.

repogirl:
If a man can wash his wife's feet like how Jesus Christ(the Lord and Saviour) washed his disciples feet, then he is a real lord, not a wannabe lord.

A submissive trait in a woman is good and will benefit the marriage greatly. It's great you pointed out what it means to be submissive in your post, so that MEN can understand it better.

Nice post.

As long as you want to rationalize or define what a man should do to earn your submission then there will always be a problem.