₦airaland Forum

ItsQuinn:
I don't mind my husband cheating but the fact that I sacrificed my career to take care of the home and my child, and later he refuse to support our child is madness!

I have explained the road map to marital happiness or maybe tolerance in the thread i pointed her to which a certain Joy1706 asked her to disregard when im 200% that she has not even read and comprehended it.

Look at the OP story again and you will see where she said she gave up her job and the second point in that thread says MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY

So i honestly dont know how to explain to ladies that no matter the fantasy they have about marriage,there are some realities that they can not control and if faced with such situation they must be ready to face it head on.

If any lady reads every thread i create about romance between aman and woman and deeply understands it, that lady will never have issues in her marriage.

There is more to life to marriage and man woman matter please.

Joy1706:
Please kindly shove this retarded article where the sun don't shine. If you will not 'expect your wife to cheat' in your marriage, why should a woman expect such rubbish. You really think this is what this woman needs to hear at this point. Gosh!

Are you married sis?

If NO please just keep off my mentions and if YES please what would you advice her do?

LEAVE THE HUSBAND?

I hate it when i read comments from some ladies on nland who have no scruples. Most teenagers and unmarried ladies will come online to start advising a married lady about marital matters..iranu

BlackMystery:
Some comments here eh!!...THE LADY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HERSELF..!fighting a teen,instead of her to look for solutions on how to satisfy her man n mayb pay d grl off..STUPID WOMAN,STUPID MAN n as for d girl na "small pikin" dy worry u

Nice submission.

Many marriages are damaged beyond repair yet the couple will still be staying together and when outsiders see such man with another lady they never care to reason deep as to why the guy or even the woman is having an affair.

I have stopped casting blames a long time ago because i have seen where husbands abandoned their wives for months without conjugal activity and same for some women refusing their hubby good sex for months...wil you blame such for having an extra affair?

The girl might be too young for this pooh but i will not blame the man yet until the reason behind the act is revealed.

TrapQueen77:
And she's only 17?




She already wasted her life with a married guy.... Smh...

Hmmm! like seriously?

What if the married man loves her and what if the married man is no longer married to the wife in the real sense.

The way you see things are not usually what they are....as for her age i will say a big NO but then you need to see girls at 17 these days and you will just wonder what they feed on.

solasoulmusic:
Exactly you made a fantastic point because you are willing to forgive and try to make things work doesn't mean they are. Some people need time and some people lose trust and once that's gone it's hard to go back

Public Humiliation for me is a nononooooo

Arrogance is very annoying too.

My experience has shown me that there is really no decent man or woman out there but all you can do is to close your eyes and settle with one with great hope that the person does not stray.

Before now when i hear baby mama i always se them as loosed and indecent but not anymore...infact i would choose a hot baby mama over a single lady with no child cos statistics have shown that 7 out of every 10 ladies in their late 20s have had at least one abortion so for a babay mama i guess she chose to keep the baby.

The more you grow the more you come to understand the complexity of man woman affair and what you may never thought of condoling today may be the least of what you can tolerate tomorrow which is why i laugh out real loud when i see many young ladies on nairaland curse and lash out at me when i create factual threads that may surpass their understanding at the moment but will make real sense to them latter in the nearest future.

decatalyst:
I fear heat and cold

It can be well insulated.

solasoulmusic:
You can forgive someone but you don't need them in your life If they don't want to be. He has God in the center of his life.

I have found that those who mock women for cheating probably were cheating on her at the same time and are just mad because two actually can play that game well

There is this old school Jam Don't think I am not by Kandi lol please listen

Once in our lives we are tested we all make mistakes but what you do after says alot about who you are don't just forgive learn and do better next time

You are very right.

My ex left after 12 years of sweet union and walked back after 3 years of exploit and i said to myself "Well being her very first guy i think its fair enough for her to see the world and her coming back by herself means she still finds me indispensable"

But then after she came back i had to break up the affair for good when i realized she is still not sure of what she wants and not because of whatever she must have done while we were apart...according to the guys's code...."what we do not see do not hurt "

I so much believe that breaking up with your man or woman because of sexual infidelity is not the best especially if the erring party is truly repentant because if you leave someone you truly desire because he or she cheats on you then you are only pushing that person away to be with the other party for good and to me that is foolishness...furthermore what is the guaranty that the next babe is not even worse than the one you left?

But cheating with impunity and adding arrogance is what i can never ever condole.

The story is very shrewd.

He took her back but they are no more together so which kain taking back is that?

Wash

Diddyydiva:
I know you don't like the truth especially when it comes from a lady.....


Its no argument bro just a suggestion

Take care

What I wrote means you are deviating.

You don't expect a man to love you first before submitting to him.

Even if he does not show you "the type of love" you want....the best you can do is leave him rather than disrespect him.

Is this not clear enough?

Diddyydiva:
I guess you missed that part of the bible that says:

Out of the abundance of the heart speaketh the tongue '


Who is the gullible and misleading fellow here sir?

Kilagbe kileju? a n wi ru o n wi iru.

Diddyydiva:
If you continue this way you will never marry again.

Learn to love

Ladies and sentiments are like bread and butter.

Who told you I have issues with marrying ?

This shows how gullible many ladies are..so because I write facts mean I don't know how to love and you will be liking the post of pretenders who come online to fool you people.

I don't ass lick so I'm confident enough to say things as they are. ..if I woo you no gree.

ItsQuinn:
The man is meant to chase after the woman first, not the woman chasing after the man. Your logic is naturally wrong .....if you expect the woman to approach the man first you will wait for all eternity

As long you want to use logic then you will forever have issues with any man in the area of submission except he is not man enough.

A man says shut up you tell him why must he ask you to shut up then expect a slap from an aggressive type but when you keep shut there is every likelihood that he will apologize to you

See all these threads I create is to help women folks who are the real endangered species in the cruel world of men but to many nland ladies I'm a monster but time will tell.

ItsQuinn:
As for me, I can't submit to any fvcking man that treat me like shit, I will leave him ASAP! ...when I'm not a robot or a zombie .....like I said treat me like a queen and I will treat you like a king

And the law of natural cohabitation between a man says submit first and you will definitely be treated right.

You talk as though you are a watch dog waiting for signs of maltreatment from the guy for you to stop submitting to him but the words of GOD which you called "unrealistic" says submit in all things and submitting to him he will most likely maintain a proper decorum even if he treats you bad at the moment.

See young lady ..in this present day no reasonable man has time for shits and any lady who decide to prove hard to Crack will be sampled and dumped and by the time the lady goes through the hands of different men she will be forced to learn the hard truth.

A man may treat you bad but your act of submission will eventually reset his brain.

ElsonMorali:
OK I'll ignore the fact that you just called me one of unsound mind.

How is it possible for a woman whom you treat with disgust and indifference in marriage to respect and continue submitting to you?

Unless of course you think that women are zombies or sex objects or baby making machines to be used and discarded.

A wife and a husband each has different roles to play in making a good family.

The husband has to love unconditionally his wife and cherish her and pet her.

The wife has to love and respect and submit to her husband.

You seem comfortable stressing the role of the woman according to the Bible while ignoring that of the man.

The Bible instructsthe man to love his wife just like Christ loves His bride the church.

How did Christ love his bride, the church? By laying down his life for her.

So Mr. Are you prepared to lay down your life for your spouse whom you demand submission from?

Oh and by the way, yes a man must show love to his woman first before there can be mutual sharing of love and trust and the submission of the woman can come in.

After all the man is the one that woos the woman and not the other way around and if we are using Christ as our model then He died for His bride the Church even while we we're still sinners.

First and foremost I never labeled you as unsound so stop the blackmail.

Now let me hint you about the mystery of submission.

Go and do your findings and I mean serious research and it will blow your mind that only a minute fraction out of 100 men will treat a submissive eoman badly.

The problem us that most ladies have been brainwashed to believe in tit for tat even in marriage.

To Kemi her husband may not deserve her submission because she asks for money and he could not provide....for titi maybe her hubby lasts just 2 minutes in bed and that is a ground for disrespect and fir shade it could be his drinking habit that has made her stop submitting to him.

We tend to hear stories of many ladies claiming lack of love but before you call the guy names please find out and you will be amazed that at a point the lady decides to disrespect him.

I don't know how advanced you are in age but I have seen things and I have mediated in many relationship scuffle and in every 9 out of 10 cases it is always the lady that faltered.

If you'd husband does not show you the required love that is not a reason to disrespect him...if you want to leave please do....this is the part you are missing

Men are naturally programed to love a submissive woman

emusmithy:
Reasons Some Men Want Submissive Women.

Ironical it's coming from a guy. Yeah.
Heard too many brag on their 'right' on their being the Head and all.
When these set of guys find a truly self-confident woman, they put their self-defense mask on and go all, "she's too full of herself..."
They want a submissive lady who pretend to be what she's not and later it backfires...They want a submissive lady for the wrong reasons. See some of them below:

1. They are plain egoistic.

If he's got ego in him, that "beast" will once in a while need to feed on some blood. It sure will be yours.
He needs you to bow and say, 'Yes Sir" as he does this. What a life! You're doubtlessly married to a dummy!

2. They're plain ill-trained.

The truth is, men who take want submissive girls often have wrong motives. They say, "I'm hot, she should be humble...to take my shyytes". For the most part, this was passed on from their roots. They were taught that way; either at home or in church that women are kinda inferior. This is wrong and abysmal! It's erroneous and degrading! Women are help-meets, not housemaids.


3. They're plain selfish.

He wants a submissive lady because he is only considering his own self/ 'temperament'. She's got weaknesses too and she wants you to understand when she's being extra loud also.

4. They're plain lazy

"Marriage is hard work and getting a humble lady makes it easy", he says. He doesn't want stress. The girl who poses to be humble before marriage might end up breaking your heart in marriage. Go for a Real Lady who isn't sorry for being herself always.


5. They're plain autocratic

Some men are naturally power-freak. They hold on the Bible passage that says, "Wife, submit to your husbands..." They ignore the part that says, "Men, do not be BITTER against your wives or Men love your wives."
Bitter o? Don't be mad at her. They are not only bitter; they're also wife beaters. Smh!

6. They're plain ignorant

For those guys seeking 'humble' girls who are like 'humble pies in the sky', it's complete ignorance. The fact is: No woman is humble for nothing. Don't let her calling you "Sir" today fool you into thinking she's humble. You might be wrong. Selah!


7. They're plain unwise

I believe it's wise to like a lady for who she is than who she decorates herself to be. With the increase in rate of single ladies from 27-35, they can even "wash your feet" just to bear your name.
It's thereby silly to judge a wife material by mere display of cheap humility.

Tgif! Happy Independence in advance, Nigerians!

I can bet my testicles on this that this is coming from a boy at heart.

For the records all your points are baseless and totally inconsequential because you just got the word submission twisted.

Answering Yes sir is not what submission is or agreeing to whatever your man says is foolishness and not submission.

SUBMISSION IS NOT SLAVERY.

You can disagree with your hubby in a sunmissive manner and you can even impose your decision in a submissive way.

Omase o...so all this while this was the meaning some people gave to submission.

Omo I tire .

ElsonMorali:
I think our paths are eventually converging gradually. I agree with you to an extent.

But here's where you err. Your husband has an exclusive right to your submission just as you have an exclusive undeniable right to his love and affection.

If your husband has to earn your submission then he should pay for it with unconditional love and affection. I made that clear in the other tread. Guess you didn't read that.

I could borrow you my pair of glasses though...

Are you sure you are a man?

Please don't ridicule your position. ..the bible makes it clear that men should love their wives and wives must submit to their husbands.

A man has authority over a woman so it is apparent for the lady never ever to expect the man to love her FIRST before she can submit to him.

That is exactly what you are postulating here and it is very wrong.

Loving your wife and wife submitting to her husband is mutually exclusive but on a scale of balance it is only reasonable to expect submission first except of course you want to argue that it is the woman that has authority over the man.

I believe this is logical enough for a sound minded person.

Aminat508:
May this new month be filled with: Happiness, Love, Goodwill and all kinds of success for you and your family...

Wishing you a Happy New Month!


Agarawu23

Kimoni

Loomer

Ask4bigneyo

Omotayor123

Toks2008

LadyF

Neyoor

Dominique

Contact17

lifezone247

Mediapace

kinibigdeal

Kazrem

joseph1832

Thanks swerrie

Ayoolajumoke:
But is it also mandatory and unconditional for a husband to love his wife like himself when she is rude, dirty, lazy and careless since that is how it is stated in the bible?

You are very very correct but here is the problem...

If you read the passages very well it was clearly stated that the head of the woman is the man as the head of the man is Christ.

Looking at this holistically you will agree with me that it is imperative for the tide of authority to favor the man so a wife can not demand for an unconditional love because it does not even exist in the first place.

The woman was asked to submit unconditionally because by so doing 99.9% of men will love the lady even if they never did initially and that was why book of Peters said emphatically that it us possible that the man will even change from bad to good by the act of submission from the lady.

It is a mystery no man can explain..we just can't prevent ourselves from falling in love with a submissive woman and this is one reason why men fall in love with the house maids cos they are perfect embodiment of a submissive lady.

How much was paid?
A question we will never have answers to.

nma24:
Marriage this marriage that Toks2008 it have do

I enjoy writing on romance,Religion and politics but if you are pissed let me teach you what to do.


Anytime you see a thread created by me...IGNORE

Silumi:
your husband is your lord
your husband is your lord
your husband is your lord
hu re u ?Jesus is my lord!!!

The word lord is a generic term so it does not take the place or equate to Jesus our Lord and saviour

SirVintageCock:
I didn't get it wrong. He based his arguments on the holy books, placing cheating and the SUBMISSION crap side by side is blasphemous.
How is it even possible and realistic for a full grown sane adult to submit to someone who is breaking a trust they held together.?

How I wish there are other ways I can explain it.

If for any reason you believe will not make you submit to your husband please leave that marriage and if you believe submitting to a man is a herculean task please don't get married and choose other options like lesbianism,sleeping around with random men or remain a celibate ... very simple.

Ladies kept hammering on a man loving them as a condition for submission and that is the big problem.

Each lady has a relatively different ways of wanting to be loved and if we have to go by the simbiotic postulations then no man deserves any form of submission from his woman....this is why the bible does not place a condition on submitting to your husband but advices men to love their wives also but that was never an ordained Co dition for submission.

So at any point you believe you can no longer submit to your husband please leave that marriage.

sarahade:
Bros abeg you in the name of whatever you are serving dont ever quote me.
I want to see the man that will raise his hands on me yhen i will show him violence in 3d. If i choose to remain single its nobody's bussiness o. Mtcheeeeew two naira fifty kobo men everywhere.

Were re o. ... Abeg no vex madam 3d violence....Chai! oloun ma je.

Omotayor123:
We shed many tears to get this land,now filled it with smiles and happiness. True Independence can only exist in doing what is Right!


Cc.
Seun
lalasticlala
Agarawu23
Dolllyjoy
Mediapace
Aminat508
Smellymouth
Baba11
Midolian
Dominique
Madridguy
Kazrem
Asumo12
Wristbangle
INTROVERT
Greatness22
Cherlene
Isolukay
Ishilove
Ask4bigneyo
Lanicky
Obinoral1179
Fynestboi
Cutehector
Tosyne2much
Toks2008.

And others...

Omoge to sure....thanks

Saheed9:
those guys must be high class kidnappers

Before nko?

When graduates finish for school find job no see this is the result....not supporting crime but just being factual.

computergeek:
This isn't the best way to gain attention nah. Other men who are even more muscular didn't have to go childish to be noticed.
Cossy has gone topless for independence, this one has stripped, who knows what Falz will do.....

I will go colorless

Lolaabokoku:
Nice article!

Thanks fine sis...

krissconnect:
I'm just 21, but sometimes I find it awkward when I look at most of my colleagues and learn their girlfriends are younger than them. I've never stopped admiring older women, I can't go a long way with girls younger than me when it comes to mutual consent. I've tried my best to get myself engaged with someone younger, but then I conclude they are way below my scope. I may end up marrying someone who is way older than me, because I can't help it. Please advise a brother.
Note: I don't do sugar mummy issues, I can only roll with ladies of 24-30.

Cc: lalasticlala, toks2008,tosyne2much,naijasinglegirl,cutehector,smellymouth.

What you need to know is that at your age you are still playing around and dating a younger lady is as unrealistic as dating an older lady.

Yes in few cases people get married at very young age but I believe if you grow older it will make more sense to you.

At your age I dated ladies of almost my age but as I grew older I realized it was a charade so wait until you are about 25 or 27 and if you still think you can't date younger ladies then you can start worrying

sarahade:
all this Low self esteem men creating thread up and down. stop imposing your believes on others look for a woman with low send esteem like yourself and marry. wetin na by force to marry Abi heaven Don dey reject single women with children? abeg park well
a man that wants unconditional submission should give unconditional love Abi the Bible says it's conditional love. Toks2008 let me advice you if you think a man is a God to be worshipped you are dreaming .
to my fellow women it's not by force to be married, if you are not happy walk away you won't die. trust and respect brings about submission and they are earned So No man should think because he has a stick in between his legs he is a God. my own 2 cent. #donotquoteme.

Who do you want to advice?

I wonder how someone like you will escape domestic violence with your arrogance and baseless egocentricism.

You have said it all...Remain single for life and stop ranting please.

Wunmi01:
http://nairametrics.com/here-is-how-you-can-search-for-any-registered-company-in-nigeria/

WOW! Thanks..Just checked my company registered in 2001 and pronto ...great