₦airaland Forum

Teespice:
indeed, the write up has shaken the marital world.

reality is that most women are divorcing spouses based on adultery irrespective of biblical teachings. not many people are that forgiving anymore.

dear lord, cleanse my mind from the things I read down here.

My sister these are deep facts.

If you know how many ladies have divorced their husband just because he committed adultery just one time despite the guy beggibg with tears, his family begging and she keeps saying "Even the bible supports it"

Anytime I hear such I just shake my head at the ignorance

I repeat...there was never a place where a woman was asked to divorce her husband because he commits adultery and yes some men do it again and again but if he keeps saying sorry and still wants you I guess marriage is about repetitive forgiveness.

But in the case of men, their hearts are so hardened that they are even ready to stone the woman to death according to Moses laws...or just wake up one day and give her a divorce note just like Islam suggests that all a man should say is "I divorce you as my wife" like 2 or 3 times...

It's because of this hard heartedness that Jesus kuku said "OK shebbi your heart is so hard to the extent that Moses gave you an easy pass....OK I now say that no man (very gender specific) must put his wife away except for adultery....yet forgiveness is not ruled out but most men have stone hearts when it comes to forgiving an adulterous woman so unfair .

Joy1706:
Where in the bible is it stated that a lady is expected to keep on forgiving her husband's infidelity.
Wonderful heart of forgiveness my azz. Anyways thank God you said MOST ladies not all

Forgiveness is the nature of God towards man but difficult from man to man

We are instructed by Christ to forgive 70 x 7 times a day and in the case of marriage the only condition for a woman to remarry when the man I'd still alive is desertion meaning the man abandons their marriage and not just when he cheats on her.

A man can be with a wife at home yet has abandoned the marriage in many ways...

-If a man neglects his conjugal right
-If a man beats his wife (this is very relative considering the role some women play in this act.)
-If a man refuses to play his primary role of providing for the family provided he has the means. .

ItsQuinn:
so they are different? So women are allowed to be promiscuous and be submissive at the same time.....men should not complain and forgive their wives too when they cheat

Sorry if I may ask..

What's your age group?

Below 20?
20-25?
26-30
Above 30?

Just curious as a result of your tenacious contributions on my threads regarding marriage.

Mimidiva:
hehehehe!, I mean not the type of harsh, fold hair, view how Arabian bears looks like 'sleepy/slippery', its so sexy

Oh ok then..fear catch me.....your curves tho//

I'm happy for you but I would love to see more success stories of entrepreneurs.

Mimidiva:
No, a fine Arabian hair when low trimmed is so cute, but under must be shaved to avoid bruises during hot sex


I mean for a lady o, but guys I prefer it shaved

Which one be Arabian hair again? is it a type of weave-on?

ItsQuinn:
ammyluv2002 toks2008 berberklaus

Hosea chapter 1:- Read the story of Hosea and Gomer (undying love) in the bible

When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, "Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD.

nd The LORD said to me, "Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the LORD loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes."

A woman doesn't need to be submissive first before the husband can love

Please what is the correlation between submissiveness and promiscuity?

Even a confirmed harlots can be very submissive so I really don't understand your point.

Mimidiva:
little bushy is sexy, but under must be shaved na, if not it can cause bruises jare

In my world, i do not support leaving the pubic hair cos it makes that place looks so unkept.

#teamshaveitall

Joavid:
A married man goes to the extent of traveling out of the country to cheat?? just to Bleep??

haaaa

op, among other advice, help him help yourself in ways you can to make sure you don't get deadly STD's.

Sukkot.

Wow! I'm so impressed with what I'm reading from nland ladies on this thread.

Some guys are hopelessly wayward and it won't be a bad idea if the wife begs him to use a condom on the side chics for her sake even if he hates himself.

Teespice:
according to toks2008, he said that you should keep forgiving your husband till he's tired of the union and he walks out.

so dearest op, keep forgiving him.

You nailed it. Most Ladies have the wonderful heart of forgiveness but guys have a terribly hard mind which made Jesus allow them to divorce their wives on same adultery that a lady is expected to keep forgiving him for.

utenwuson:
n who re u op? so if I seek 4 divorce is 4 her own good na since she has money n pay d bills!

Oshogbo weed in action.

Lalasticlala what is your take?

Visit thread by clicking

https://www.nairaland.com/3397061/imagine-there-no-heaven-no

And tell us how you would live your life if there is no heaven or hell.

The primary duty of the man in marriage is to provide the basic needs of his family talking about the wife and the children while the primary role of the wife is to nurture the husband and the children which is the perfect definition of help mate.

Now it is important to note that no two marriages are the same and what works for you may not work for the other person and the fact that a man provides all the needs of the family does not mean that he can't assist the wife to do some of her primary duties if needs be and a wife who has become the breadwinner may also not mind playing her primary duties without any support from the husband .

But nevertheless i sincerely believe that every man whose wife have become the main bread winner or a co-bread winner to realize that it is very expedient for him to be ready to also be a co-nurturer of the family and also perform the primary duties of the woman such as cleaning the house,cooking,taking care of the children and helping the wife to do things that will ease off the stress from her.

I have heard of several cases where a man who is fully financially dependent on the wife still expects her to do all the domestic activities and prepares all three course meals and some men even get so angry with the wife because she complains of tiredness.

It is very wicked and uncaring for a man whose wife is also a partaker of his primary duties to still expect the lady to fully take care of the home front and this does not make you less a man but will rather encourage the woman and not make her look like a slave in the house.

I know some men will say it is not in our tradition as Africans to do domestic chores and I sincerely agree but we must also understand that it is also not an Africa tradition for a woman to be a breadwinner.

I don't know if this makes sense.

krissconnect:
Please take time and read this, your candid advice is needed.

I have a friend, a married woman who I can swear on her behalf is 100 and 1 percent committed to her husband and family. She has 3 kids of age; 4, 2 and some months respectively. Her husband is a wealthy businessman but strictly conservative when it comes to money. He always found it hard supporting the family financially, even the children school fees must be resolved in the court before he pays them. The little snacks(meatpie) business she initiated by herself was met with less or no attention husband. He never supported it, though he always lashed on her each time she buys new clothes for herself.

The woman is a pretty black attractive woman, who catches the eye of many men. Now she's in dilemma, she doesn't wanna cheat on the husband, but with the situation of things, she's at the brink of fouling herself. She told me too that she's only holding on because of her kids.

Fellow nairalanders, what advice have you to give to this woman on this mindblowing situation?
Matured minds please.
Cc: lalasticlala,toks2008,farano,fynestboi

I dont get it...

She wants to cheat for money

That is prostitution....let her carry her cross.

focus7:
op, nothing can make Peter Obi be the president of Nigeria, so stop hyping yourself.

Or do you think the Igbos alone can garner enough votes that will make him a president with 5% votes from the SE?

A Fashola and Obi candidacy will do and God helps them jagaban supports...LOBATAN!

I was so impressed with Peter Obi after watching the speech he gave ..my role model.

Peter Obi and the present Emir of Kano only if he can combine the two.

ItsQuinn:
Sensible and logical enough

I once created a thread with topics..."Before you divorce a cheating hubby"

"No woman should get married if she is not ready for the possibility of sharing her husband with another lady" and ladies call me crazy names but I just smh and smile because I knew these were young ladies who are still very far from the reality of marriage.

I have always asked many ladies that of what use is it if you divorce a cheating hubby just to start sleeping around with other men? who is fooling who?

Believe it or not, most ladies who divorce zn adulterous husband ends up sleeping around and commiting adultery with another wonan's husband...weird but true.

ItsQuinn:
.....what of if all those apologies and love na wash just to deceive her to stay in the marriage and he continue cheating? Do you think it's right? After vowing not to cheat on their wedding day

As far as I'm concerned the bible is my guide.

Desertion is the only condition for a woman to divorce her husband

A man can keep cheating and asking for forgiveness just as we keep sinning and asking that God forgives us

Human philosophy has replaced vivid biblical injunctions

So yes you are expected to keep forgiving him except he leaves the marriage totally but if he still wants you I guess you have no reason to divorce him.

This is exactly the point..ladies have soft minds and they could forgive a husband who is a repetitive adulterer but the heart of many men is so hard that they are even ready to stone an adulteress to death.

ItsQuinn:
Okay I get you, can you please answer my question, thank you

What is the question?

ItsQuinn:
So you were being sarcastic in your last thread? And I bet most people that read your sarcastic veiw didn't think you were sarcastic tho ...so all those one na wash? Please try to be straightforward on your thread to avoid people being confused......and what of if all those apologies and love na wash just to deceive her to stay in the marriage and he continue cheating? Do you think it's right? After vowing not to cheat on their wedding day

Na wa for you o

I will stop discussing with you if you fail to grasp simple logic.

I was stating that asking a lady to leave her marriage if she can not be submissive is pure sarcasm meaning it is an indirect mockery and that does not mean that was what teh thread is based on.

Its quite amazing that many people keep twisting my threads to their bias understanding and turn around to insult and make derogatory remarks.

ItsQuinn:
Me quoting the bible doesn't mean I believe in it, I was just quoting the bible to prove him wrong but he turned a blind eye ....and why are you so bothered about what I say or think? unless you care that much

So you don't believe in teh bible!

Then why are you discussing this from the perspective of what you dont believe in?

ItsQuinn:
But in your last post about submission, you said if the woman can't submit she should just leave or divorce him instead of disrespecting him....and now you are saying the woman has no right to divorce her husband because he cheated? Why are you contradicting yourself? .....The bible is so contradictory! That's why I don't believe in that crap

Asking a lady to divorce her husband if she cant submit is outright sarcasm and you should know that.

And concerning this piece, what i am explaining is that there are some ladies who will divorce their husband over infidelity even when the man is sorry and still shows undying love for her and this set of women will always use the scriptures to back up their unforgiving act just because they feel they are acting from the scriptures....this is the anomaly that needs to be addressed.

The only instruction given to a lady is never to leave her marriage and if she must leave it will be because the husband abandons her entirely despite moves to reconcile and not because the man committed the act of adultery.

A man can commit adultery and elopes with the woman and in that case,the woman is free to remarry but it is a different case if a man commits adultery and he is sorry for the act.

WindUpMerchant:
toks2008, I wish u can be silent on matters u know nothing about. ur a disgrace

Who is this e-kid trolling my thread?

Look here child this is a faceless forum but don't you ever barge into my threads to rain insults.If you have nothing to say just relegate yourself to the vague threads you are acustomed to.

This is a clear sign of delinquency as a result of failed parental upbringing.

If you allow me to start with you I guess you will deactivate your account.

People like you claim to be leaders of tomorrow but lacks simple IQ.

You are a total disgrace to manhood and until you learn to communicate intelligently please keep of my threads and stop quoting me.

OKorowanta:
Money get pawa sha.
Dis beauty queen don jilt her boyfriend for a married man and she's so bold to show him off on social media.
Money I hail u.

And when I create threads about the hypocrisy and idiosyncrasies of polygamy lalasticlala go dey fear to put am for front page

I really have come of age and I now understand the confusion in many women .they claim to hate polygamy but will be willing collaborators. ..who is fooling who? iranu

Vikky014:
JESUS was only responding to them based their question.....A man or woman is allowed to divorce a cheating partner so long as it will save you from hell

A guy wrote the same thing about Jesus giving a streamline response bug that is not so. remember he was asked a predefined question about a man divorcing his wife by giving her a divorce note so it was not a streamlined e answer but a very gender specific response.

Now you keep mixing my write up with sentiments.

We have two types of adulterous acts..one where the husband apologizes or keeps apologizing and one that the man out rightly abandons his marriage and moves on with another lady and same goes for the man.

These days we see some ladies rushing for divorce because their hubbies cheat on them even when the man apologizes and that is why I wrote this.

HaneefahRN:
Such hypocrisy!

They will never enjoin good but throw jabs at the victims (women). You will never see a thread from the OP against adultery (a great sin) , why should he? It doesn't serve his purpose.

My sister no matter the sermon in churches and scriptures ...believe it or not, the crazy act of a man cheating will forever remain...so rather than waste time echoing the sermons why not be factual about it.

Vikky014:
Toks2008 what you are trying to tell us is that JESUS WAS GENDER SPECIFIC in his teachings why did he ask the adulterous woman to go and sin no morefor your information the bible didnt command us to die in an abusive relationship please...cheating in marriage is an emotional abuse..i cant stand a cheating partner.....Jesus said we shld cut away anything that can deprive us of his kingdom

Cool down sis

The truth is that there is a ground for divorce and that is desertion which I made clear.

Today many ladies easily quote that scripture to back up a divorce move once the man commits adultery and I have seen many cases where the man apologized yet she still sees the divorce through.

If you read that article very well you will see where I made a clear distinction between outright desertion and an adulterous act.

lezznjr:
[s][/s]

Another mediocre, ill-thought out submission.

You often dabble into deep waters you aren't skilled enough to navigate.

The Bible isn't gender specific on divorce. Jesus' disciples were males and they asked if a "Man" could divorce his wife and Jesus gave a streamlined answer.


The Bible permits divorce on the grounds of adultery for both sexes ( see the works of St. Paul). What is prohibited is Remarriage which has become opened to denominational interpretations anyway.

Do you know why the youths of today are not making giant strides?

Its because we refuse to think outside the box but those who changed the world in various aspects refuse to go with teh flow.

If you really camed down to read that piece you would have made your arguement more vivid rather than arguing on the basis of red and black.


I am not the type who believes in my pastor said but i study to show myself approved. Check all my threads and you will observe that i stand out in my ideologies and unfortunately in all mu threads, majority of posters always attack the writer but fail again and again to present a formidable standview which is what i eargerly want to see.

Now to your submission i would like you to read the biboe passage i quoted once more and you will see thyat the response of Jesus was in no way streamlined but he quoted a reference from the days of Moses which was gender specific from the word go.

doveda:
When I insult you, some people will tell me to respect y elders. I still can't believe some Id.iot's consider you remotely wise.

God! You are not worthy to be treated with respect or dignity!

You must be psychologically unstable to quote me and make such crzy comment over a hilarious post.

Come wat exactly is your problem? why following me upandan like a monitoring spirit ..if you lack sense of humour or filled with bitterness biko go solve your problem.

Abi iru amu ni se oloun wo ree ni aro kutukutu

Abeg nairalanders help me join hands and mouth beg this lady sey make she comot for my back...I no get interest for her green light wey she dey show me....

I made this hilarious post on this thread and see the way she responded to me above ....

Toks2008:
If I were in the guy's shoes I will just preach to them to stop it that it is fornication but if they refuse to hear I will just tell them that the sin will be on their heads and if they still refuse to yield I will tell them to allow me shower and I will ask them to provide a condom to avoid infection and I will kuku submit myself to them....after all I tried to prevent it....

Please if I begin to form holy man on top the matter shey no be that one be real hypocrisy? or is rape the same as willful indulgence? Na wa o

MissHatey:
This is total BS and this girl is how old

What's the big deal in that?
I have personally faced the same thing with two different rep. Just say NO and GTF .

I pray the guy will not be sacked thou.

Seconded...

Some ladies are so immature.

EngrAk1991:
E bami womo o Emi na fe love oo I want to love. baby...I should buy you a drink! Whew! My story isn't far from yours oBut relax...it will happen.

For someone not an eye sore, my case is freaking funny. The A loves B but B loves C story is just too real. And they say I'm doing shakara, some even say I'm an intentional bachelorette ( I no fit spell am jare) wetin we go do nau? Finding the One is an herculean task!

Here is my advice: try to live more and not think too hard about it. Treat yourself to some feel good therapy dear...expensive hair(no apologies, trust me it feels goooood to wear them) , nice perfumes (my sis just got the bottle of Marc Jacob that looks like a purse...been stealing it), lovely shoes and put on some lipstick! Ogbeni, live a little by enjoying your spinsterhood while it last. You will soon be responsible for plenty people

By the way, I no be your mate for age o...my mama dey presently confused about my status sef. My bestie is married to a guy she met within a year! They met here on NL o( they just saw each other and knew straight up) I never fail to point out their luck to them. No be say guys aren't coming, we just no dey jive ni. A particular Nairalander has turned it to fight for me after I told him straight up its a nono for me after an exchange of about three emails. Wetin person go do nau...we owe ourselves the responsibility of finding the One lest we create dysfunctional homes. I miss the companionship, I miss the sense of being a team mate, I seriously can't wait to procreate, I envy my friends with those wonderful kids mehn...but I want a man who would light me up like a bulb.

You will find... Just relax.

Nah this kind thread dey bring una out of hiding.

I knew there are sweet and decent spinters on nairaland.

As for me I'm just too busy to dey find woman upandan and the way ladies see me on nairaland as a terror to them as a result of my threads no give me hope for nland so I no dey too bother to send mail to any lady....but I still love to meet people anyways so add my number posted on the previous page and let's chat

Please for the records I don't like ladies that form hard nuts o...we are matured individuals and making new friends is the opium of an elite.