₦airaland Forum

TV01:
Hi Innovestor, nothing new under the sun. I applaud your desire to restore normalcy in your home. But please don't countenance covenant breaking or even threats of it as a means to that end.

First peruse this thread, and particularly my comments therein - https://www.nairaland.com/1845744/intimate-incompatibility-marriage#25285431. That speaks mostly to the bio-mechanical aspects. Please appropriate what is relevant to your situation.

There may be some overlap from the above post/thread, but equally important is to touch on the bio-dynamics. That is the situation in your home, both your family circumstances and the "mutuality" between the both of you.

Men and women view sex differently. Indeed, their perceptions and oft times responses to every stimuli or situation is typically different, and usually for good reason - and largely by design. Understanding our differences and working to harmonise them is key to healthy relationships and happy homes.

Your situation could be due to;

1. stress/work overload, leaving your wife tired. Things like work, anxieties, childbirth etc. have to be managed and hopefully overcome to restore normalcy
2. the attraction - painful to say, let alone hear - may have waned/died. You have to take steps to restore/revive it. Basically increasing your status/desirability in the eyes of your wife. Women will make an effort to please men they respect
3. she may simply have a low drive - see above post. If she is well cultured or of deep faith, she will actually know it's her duty to please you. If you are, go to God sharpish.

Try and pinpoint the main issue - as there may well be a combination and take it from there. Please learn to ignore the godless misandrists that abound here, they'll just enervate you and cause a loss of focus.

All the best as you build your home.


TV

Many ladies should understand that sex to guys is very vital and if they can't provide this adequately they have no business in marriage.

If my wife wants sex everyday at least I must give her 4 days outta 7 because if I fail to do that then I'm failing in my vows and duty...so why all these sermon just for a lady to do her duty as a wife?

As for me I'm ready to eat my wife's snail till I grow old and she must be ready to reciprocate otherwise nah wahala...

This is why I wonder why some important threads I create on marriage is ignored by lalasticlala cos issues like this was thourougly addressed.

https://www.nairaland.com/3107503/when-lack-sexual-satisfaction-marriage

Tytyluv:
It's heart breaking when I hear women act like this. Wen she tells you she feels any pain sometimes just force your way through. She may relax in the process and enjoy it too but mind you not all the time it will work.

See not all guys like pushing it.

I can relate with wat the op is going through.

Sex is fun and for me I can't settle for mediocrity which is why I wll not try having more than 2 children so that we can get past baby mkn to enjoy each other.

For me I can be crazy in bed as in crazy...no area in her body is sacred to me and I love pre-intimacy like kilode...

So tell me why I should settle for a sexually rigid lady?

If my wife tries that with me and I try to remedy it as calmly as I can and she remains the same...if I have the resources nah new wife sure pass cos I will never philander or patronize sluts....depriving your husband sex is a sin.

innovestor:
[b]Why where i am at the moment.

So you ideas are welcome ladies and gentlemen.

P.S. Wow! So the write up long reach like this? be patient to read through.

My broda I'm going to give you a hard advice.

When communication fails try the indirect approach.

Ask her what type of pre-intimacy turns her on the most and try doing that and she will beg for more..I had an ex that once I start massaging her legs she gets turned on even if she was totally off mood.

Sexual frigidity can be frustrating and some ladies hardly snap out of it once it starts especially with kids involved.

If all options fail then you have 2 choices

1.Stick to your ordeal
2.Get another wife if you can.

Life is too short to suffer sexual deprivation and if it boils to the last resort I will choose polygamy to philandering anyday anytime.

A woman who chooses to punish her hubby sexually is committing marital unfaithfulness which is a strong excuse for divorce but this time..keep her for the sake of the love and children and marry another lady only if you can ..they don't have to stay under same roof.

That is my take

brunofarad:
DEC 31 2014,
We met at a my guy's sister's wedding in AMANASA UMUCHU ANAMBRA STATE. As my own way of helping my friend in his sister's wedding....I used my car to take the bride's maids to the church.
And there she was sitting beside me at the front passenger seat on our way to the church...while the other maids talked and gisted all the way, she sat there and listened, contributing once in a while to the gists...what actually ignited my interest in her is her reserved personality and the fact that she observes more than TALK....
I kept glancing at her all through the wedding ceremony....it was not until after the wedding that I walked up to her for some chat.....
While we talked I can't but marvel at her intelligence...then I thought to myself “ no wonder she observes more than talk”
She is a CRITICAL CARE NURSE in DALLAS and a cousing to my guy, we talked about many things from poltics to career and dreams,after the conversation I told her am really grateful for the time she shared with me and will love to have a way to contact her later if she doesn't mind.....she said NO then eventually gave me her mobile number after rigorous debates and persistence from me.

AUGUST 13 2016,
Here we are getting married,it is our TRADITIONAL WEDDING in AMANASA UMUCHU ANAMBRA STATE, this is where love brought us,it has been a fantastic romantic journey all this while..
Thank God for his grace,wisdom and understanding...
“Welcome to my world baby,come grow old with me"
Kisses her lips.
My name is francis am a nairalander with monicker brunofarad.
And am the latest married man arround here,

Rocktation
Seun
Lalasticala
Mynd44

Show me some love

Wish you well bro but remember that the best marriage is between two forgivers.

Fkhalifa:
I don't know how the op expect majority even on Front page to agree with you on this polygamy issue..
Not t even the Muslim sisters want it, but the reality is polygamy has come to stay, the men of God in the bible knew more than one woman legally or not and yet God didn't condemn or destroy them..

The problem is not t polygamy in itself, rather the individuals in it from the husbands to the wives and children involved..

Men who have no or little ingredients of a good and quality husband going into polygamy are the ones soiling and spoiling the society

Most women out there have no fear of God, hence the bad wives and children in polygyny

The hypocrisy there is we have more than one girl friend while still single, we have mistress outside marriage, ladies snatch or share married men and yet we condemn polygamy who is fooling who?

I'm of the opinion that if you are fit as a man, not only financially though, no problem in delving into it if you WISH.

This is the type of intelligent response expected from a sound mind.

No one is compelled to agree with my submission but if you must disagree please do so without a low life attitude of cursing the writer or picking on his persona...that is my point.

LilTroy:
OP i want 2 know ur father & mother so dat i giv dem kudos 4 ur very decent upbringing Wallahi.... Dis ur thread make sense die....

The hypocrisy of humans and the immaturity of some nairalanders have made me look like someone from mars simply because i think outside the box and I write in a no holds bar manner.

Everyone who lambasted me purposely looked away from the subject matter but gladly attacked me baselessly ....what a shame...

Rukkydelta:
Hahaha

This thread is so funny. girlhaley come and see another nl comedy

Too funny and real....If only lalasticlala can understand the importance of this piece he will do the needful.

The world deserves to know the idiosyncrasies behind polygamy and stop the hypocrisy.

A world where a lady can date a married man but claims to hate polygamy.

A world where a lady will leave her husband due to adultery just to end up as a second wife to another.

A world where a lady discourages polygamy just for her to end up as a mistress or a second wife to another married man if by fate she loses her husband.

The question is "who is fooling who"

I'm not supporting or against polygamy..I wrote those vivid points for people to agree or disagree.

HARDDON:
As d saying goes: for lack of cogent point, d tortoise attacks d personality of his Chi!

I don't expect u to fathom d above.


A lil question though: must u display ur ineptitude every time?
All your listless points were all bull n to caP it all up, u myopically quoted a bible verse to butteress ur ailing lines.

So every one that commented on dis thread didn't read it huh?
Poc, we all cudnt be as lazy as u r.

N for ur info, spilling pseudo points to paint Polygamy in d right light is nothing but telling some1 to enjoy d world n gladly lose his SOUL! Just terribly wrong! N i wudnt have shown up if u didnt quote that bible verse out of context

#herebyignored here on

Please try and make sense cos you are not communicating.

Im a freelance writer and I think outside the box.

Polygamy is hated yet embraced by the world in a hypocritical manner and the ladies who claim to hate it practise it even more.

If you can't counter those points just don't bother commenting.

I'm tired of seeing baseless rhetorics.

HARDDON:
As d saying goes: for lack of cogent point, d tortoise attacks d personality of his Chi!

I don't expect u to fathom d above.


A lil question though: must u display ur ineptitude every time?
All your listless points were all bull n to caP it all up, u myopically quoted a bible verse to butteress ur ailing lines.

So every one that commented on dis thread didn't read it huh?
Poc, we all cudnt be as lazy as u r.

N for ur info, spilling pseudo points to paint Polygamy in d right light is nothing but telling some1 to enjoy d world n gladly lose his SOUL! Just terribly wrong! N i wudnt have shown up if u didnt quote that bible verse out of context

#herebyignored here on

Please try and make sense.

Dyt:
Can they do same to him too?

He should be sentenced to death by slow painful death in the following manner.
1.He should be tied in a suspended position with his scrotum hanging.
2. Hot needle should be inserted into his scrotal sac to melt the two molds.
3.A ravaging rot weiler should finish up the job by eating his pnis.
4. He should be left to die a slow painful death.

aflyingbird:
lol , just a pet peeve of mine . i like ur threads thou , keep dem coming

Like my threads ke!

Are you sure you are not a he? cos I'm the most hated thread creator on nairaland especially by ladies.

aflyingbird:
i hate copy copy buh shud u copy , u gotta source . ma issue is u copied buh didn't source , dat's wrong , sorta like falsifying a document . i thought u wrote da post till i saw lalasticlala post the link to da original . u knew it existed but da original thread was made in 2015 , u thought no one would know but lalasticlala did . if u didn't copy da thread u sure copied da post from somewhere else on da internet cuz dey're da exact same thing. be honest , learn 2 source ur writeups if they're not urs , simple

Lol! lobatan..e ma binu o..I received it as a watsup message with no clue that there was a thread on that already.

I'm very original with my posts but I just believed that writing copied is enough...OK I don hear..kai!

aflyingbird:
even the ones u copy from someone else , right? cus u didn't write the above post urself , making us think u did .

lalasticlala posted da original thread ,

u copied above exactly above buh didn't source

pls try 2 be original wit ur posts , tnxx

You just want to pick unwarranted quarrel cos I wrote it clearly at the end of the write up that it was copied so what is your issue?

Our problem is that we are too quick to make comments without taking time to read properly.

If I had a clue that the thread existed there is no way I would have created this a second time.

Please go sleep.

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]YAWN!

Please take your boring epistles to the next person. [/color]

Young man permit me to ask you one innocuous question..What is the difference between a man of one wife who has a mistress and a man with two wives?

Richiy:
You sound someone is arguing with your masculinity. Your post reek of the kind of insecurity that comes with the experience of polygamy. You clearly have unresolved issues with polygamy.

Young lady please take a cold glass of water and a chill pill then answer this question in all sincerity.

If a 40 year old single mum or widow friend of yours comes to you to advice her if she should marry a married man who is asking for her hand in marriage...would you ask her not to?

If you have a never married 42 year old lady friend intending to marry a married man would you ask her not to but wait more for a single never married guy?

Waiting for your answer and how I wish Seun or lalasticlala can also answer this simple question.

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]LOL! Mr.man I read your points very well and I reasoned them too. Those points do not outweigh the disadvantage of polygamy and its effect on us especially right now.

That's my opinion on it.

Let the moderators move the thread to front page so we can see what others have to say about your thread.

Have a blissful night rest. [/color]

I guess I need to clear the air on some issues.

I don't know the age group target Seun had in mind when he created nairaland but I joined in 2007 when I was 9 years younger meaning their is a level of maturity that I have now which usually comes with age progression and that needs to be reflected in what I write and how I comport myself even on a faceless forum.

Seun,lalasticlala or any other mods must understand that not all of us who write stuffs here are freak of frontpage but the truth is that there are cliches of people with different interests in terms of fpage topics.

I write stuffs here cos I enjoy doing that at my free time and what I write is not for everyone but unfortunately it is impossible to filter out responses.

My write up here usually appears on many blogs even before they make front page and some get discussed on media which goes to show that some people don't need front page acceptance to know good stuffs.

Every thread on romance created on nland by me are tagged controversial but a closer look will make the message clear.

This particular piece is for a particular people who also visit nairaland and as I wrote, I do not expect a thumbs up from anyone neither do I expect any vulgar or baseless attacks from anyone.

The disclaimer on nairaland has
exulnerated Seun meaning we are free to air our views so If my threads smells like pooh to you please ignore it rather than troll yourself on it.

Anytime I see boobs bearing or curves flaunting threads on front page I usually look away cos those do not appeal to me so please I implore people to maintain a status quo on an online social platform where everyone has right to freedom of expression.Enough said

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]LOL! So you think going down to insults will help you prove your points better?

You've just succeeded in embarrassing yourself further. I even gave you the respect I felt you deserved by adding "sir" in my quotes to you, but you just proved how much of an arrogant twàt you are cos you don't deserve no respect.

Age is not maturity mr toks and if at your age you cannot counter a very simple argument from someone you know is much younger than you then it's a very big disgrace on your part.

Trust me, I could have easily replied you with hail stones and finished you off, derailing your thread in that process. But I won't do that. I still give you your respect.

I'll still give you the chance to man up and face counter arguments like a matured man and not one who replies anyone who doesn't agree with his points with degrading statements thinking it would put him down.

You're welcome. [/color]

I was actually hard on you cos you refused to read the contents before writing your rhetorics so you were not countering the points but just blabbing

Let me advice you, go on and curse me if you want..this is a faceless platform but I put it to you again that you should imbibe the culture of reading before commenting.

You keep yapping about discouraging polygamy when my disclaimer clearly pointed to that but you are just too lazy to read.

-

-

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]I'm actually more disappointed sir!

I didn't really need to go through your points cos they are always the same clichè points we've heard over and over again.

This is not the time where men should be going about having different wives and from there birthing so many kids that they can't take care of.

Polygamy should be discouraged irrespective of the points you stated as to why it should be practiced.[/color]

Since you are too lazy to read before commenting let me come down to your understanding with just one of the points listed.

Do you know that many young guys have been practising polygamy long before marriage?

How many ladies have you wooed on nairaland not mentioning offline?

How many girlfriends do you have presently?

People like you who come online to yapp ends up being a big polygamous guy.

Pastors and the bible preaches about fornication yet people still indulge in it.

Irrespective of your age, you need to grow up and open your eyes to the facts I wrote.

Richiy:
I should look at what you said but not the source? Toks, your issues in life are really deep-rooted. Just look at what you wrote again. You will see the crazy in it, I promise.

Why on earth are you trolling?

If you know you lack the intelligence to discuss issues without being vulgar please shush.

Any reasonable person will not vehement any form of resentment towards me after reading the disclaimer.

I don't expect you to agree with my write up but disagree without being sadistic.
I write vivid stuffs that has no corroborations with my lifestyle so stop attacking me.

Read the facts and discuss it or keep mum and learn from intelligent people..I will not do you the honor of responding to you again.

Boomboost:
You and the girl are derailing.

Ogbeni get this straight...Seun as well as lalasticlala or other mods need to put a traffic pulling thread on front page and that is what generates money for the owner of the site.

I once had your notion but when I realized the need to pull traffic I just let it go.

Each thread you see has its target viewers so if you see any thread that does not suit you just ignore...That's all

Xiadnat:
Hmmm....

Polygamy.... As beneficial. Some points make sense but..... Naijaboys point on controlling world population is very very valid and true too.

Say, will it be okay if women too can have multiple husbands? Not sure why any one would. One is enough for me.

naijaboy did not read the post and i can bet that with anything..if he did he won't make such comments..he probably read the previous topic without going through the writeup and hastily made comments but i know he will deny not reading the write up.

Furthermore, without promoting polygamy please who says polygamy must lead to many children?

A guy may decide to marry two wives and have just 1 child with each one. The point remains that i am not here to preach polygamy but only pointing out hard facts about it..cc: lalasticlala take a look at this,read it very well and make your decision.

Nairaland and funny comments

HARDDON:
"For this purpose A man shall leave his father n mother n Clive unto his WIFE(not wives) BOTH shall become ONE Flesh"!


If u know the heat n contention polygamy brings, u wudnt spew these bullsz!

Nothing else to say

Ok because of people like you who only read topics and hastily make comments, i have modified the topic so that lazy people who can't read will keep mum.

misspicy:
E pain am


I'm sorry,don't bite me ,I was actually joking

I am a lover not a fighter.

misspicy:
Every thread by Toks2008 should be locked and hidden not taken to FP
they are offensive to the eyes and mind of responsible people



cc seun

If you like follow me like monitoring spirit..I won't date you...I can not come and go and die...You are so troublesome kai!

MY threads are too mature for your mind...As a no holds bar freelancer I write stuffs in a dogged manner which has. o corroboration whatsoever with my personality.

If what I write gives you nightmare then stop opening my threads..Period.

Area fighter

mizzbouqui:
So by having jesus I should not have ass abi, or where is it in the bible that says "thou shall not take pictures"

You have Jesus...interesting

I like ladies who has Jesus in them.

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]NO! It doesn't make sense sir!

You're just yapping and yapping and yapping.

You're not even taking note of the economic situation of the country today. How many men in the country can even take care of a single wife and the children not to talk of several other wives.

We are getting more populated by the day and nothing is being done to control it and you think marrying more women just to satisfy sexual urges is the next best thing.

In a country like China you can't even give birth to more than two kids not to talk of marrying more than a woman.

We should be looking at such problems like that and not the reasons you've stated up there.

Polygamy should be really discouraged in a country like Nigeria let's focus on other important things. Why should we be expanding our families when we are not even able to take care of the ones who are present now?

Think outside the box mr.man. [/color]

I'm not disappointed..Apparently you quoted without reading cos all you wrote are totally off point.

Richiy:
Toks2008,

I just have one question for you

Where you raised in a polygamous family?

The same way you took your time to research how polygamy will make life better for men and women, also research about how life is in a polygamous home.

And to wrap it up, take your time and read this somewhat realistic Nigerian novel "The secret lives of Baba Segi's wives"

Polygamy and polygamous homes are too different things.

Many married men practise polygamy but they don't have a home with two wives.

Nevertheless it is important to look at the points raised and discuss them rather than directing any question to me.

My disclaimer says it all so learn to address issues objectively.

skarlett:
Out of all the tons of educative topics on nairaland, toks2008 trash still makes fp because of you, sometimes I wonder if you take your time to read through it

Lalasticlala definitely must be very intelligent for Seun to make him a mod.

The unfortunate twist is that many Nigerians are so enmeshed in ignorance and they have created a comfort zone around it.

Lack of intellectual objectivity has become the bane of today' generation and you just elicited that attribute.

If you fail to look outside the box, you will forever remain a captive in your own delusion.

Are you better than the beautiful educated Muslim sisters who have no issues with polygamy?

Apparently you are below average in your reasoning faculty else you would have read the disclaimer and also look at the point raised without bias and only then will you be able to see the mindset of the writer as well as the reason to take a deep look into the subject matter.

misspicy:
Granny it's past ten already



remember tomorrow is your doctor's appointment
How is the rheumatism,hope your last wife is not complaining about your non performance in bed

Wait until i catch you.