₦airaland Forum

In a naija setting, living together before marriage benefits the man more than the woman.

As many women can testify after years of cohabiting only to get dumped.

If the man isnt "into" marriage, thats a red flag right there. Shady character.

IyaKadijat:
Thank you guys for these recent thoughts. However, quite a few of you have suggested that I cut off all communication with him which would include taking my daughter away from him-that is something I WILL NOT DO! I speak from personal experience when I say that backfires like crazy! She will not grow up to "understand", instead, she will hate my guts for keeping her away from her father when she gets old enough to understand that I did it on purpose.

My mother did that to my brother and I because she couldn't stand our father and went so far as to threaten to kick us out if she found out we went to see him when we were only 4 and 8 years old. We had to sneak around to see him, until she moved us out of state and he had no idea where we were. My dad missed out on a big portion of me and my brother's life because of what my Mom did and I will not subject my baby to that. And contrary to how a lot of today's 'independent' women think, I believe a girl needs her dad in her life. Even statistics prove that girls that grow up with their dads in their life keep their virginity longer, are more confident of themselves, and overall fare better in life than girls who do not.

Besides, she has NOTHING to do with the very adult situation that's going on here, and I'd like to keep it that way. I have shielded her from what I could, and I have explained what couldn't be hidden in this situation. Again-this her living with him situation is only for the next 2 and 1/2 weeks that school is in-after that she is coming back home and I will leave it up to him to maintain contact with her. I am not going to force his daughter on him. I want him to be a part of her life, but I am also not above letting my daughter come to realize what kind of asshole her Daddy is on her own.

1. So far, you havent indicated how his wife feels about your daughter. Your personal experiences are American, not Nigerian.

2. A girl's virginity doesnt always depend on whether or not her dad is there.

please dump this guy before he dumps you!

Its only a matter of time.

Dont say you werent warned.

a naija man who is the cheating type, rarely cheats with just one woman!

I only read the first page of this thread and I'm not surprised by your stay fast attitude.

snakes?

for spring rolls, I think you buy the wrap and possibly the fillings at a Chinese store, then prepare and fry at home.

Or you can use your own fillings like shredded cabbage, ground beef, carrots, etc.

Hope we're talking about the same thing.

and people ask why black women are confrontational?

If you dont have aggro and stamina you cant pound yam!

who will eat watery pounded yam, or lumpy one due to sme sme(weak) pounding?

teissys:

Even if you tie me to a tree trunk and flog me a thousand tyms, I would never bring those things close to my mouth. I can't eat tiny insects
Even the natives of Nyanza province; the luo tribe, eat these insects

isnt that Obama's tribe?

Those are termites- also eaten in parts of Nigeria.

Actually quite tasty.

That's a very high figure.

Especially if the total population is in the range of 140 million as we've been told.

for every Paris Hilton, there are ten other billionaire kids who turn out well and are very responsible. They just dont make the headlines.

There are a lot of families back home which follow this philosophy of denying the kids basic things ostensibly in order to "toughen" them. It may work for some at the risk of the children growing up to resent their parents- especially the dad.

There are many ways to teach a child responsibility. Especially in Nigeria, with the high number of poor people.

However, to each his own.

onenaija

we all know its against naija culture for a man to kneel down.


Point noted!!!!

how old is this guy?

as if its a 10 year old typing.

A simialr thing happened in Australia not too long ago.

in fact, I'm just noticing his response to SeanT21.

na wa oh- so because I didnt compliment him quickly I'm a bad person.

I thought he said he posted the photo because of the OP?


ok- you fine!!

[quote author=$osisi link=topic=9191.msg3789309#msg3789309 date=1240866876]This must be 419th thread on this topic
ah ah[/quote]your point?

.

[quote author=SoAmazing! link=topic=266191.msg3789238#msg3789238 date=1240865698]@tpiah, you posted and ran off, right?If you care to know, people of substance inside out don't throw themselves at other people's faces like you and others who wanna sleep with every man or woman you see.The truly beautiful and handsome ones don't say it.[/quote]what the




I ran off ? - Am I supposed to be on the internet 24/7 ?


secondly,

people of substance inside out don't throw themselves at other people's faces like you and others who wanna sleep with every man or woman you see

are you alright

abeg face the person you came to face on this thread. I said is that really your picture, finish. Did I call you ugly or what's with the barrage of attacks.

simple yes or no is enough. No long story.

from Pastor Kumuyi's interview:

(my wife) never argued with me whenever I offered direction on how things should be done. Our children never saw us arguing or disagreeing with ourselves.

now, this man is reputed to be one of the most humble ministers in Nigeria. I've had various people who met him in person, testify to his demeanor.

I'm sure his wife found it easier to be submissive since he didnt coerce demand it of her. And led by example.

Is this Greek to most people here? Yes.

Dont demand of others things you yourself are incapable of, imo. At the very least, show some understanding.

Interview with Pastor Kumuyi

By Jonah Iboma and Bosede Olusola-Obasa

Why didn't you grief over the death of your wife?  

It is because I know that our mother in the Lord, Mummy Kumuyi, had served the Lord while she was alive. From all indications, not just for me but for everybody who she had contact with, she went to be with the Lord and going to be with the Lord is my own dream and desire for her. I know it is a good thing that has happened to her. That is because being with the Lord, whom she loved and whom I love, is better than being here. That is why the joy of the Lord has filled my heart. The lesson that this holds for those of us who are still alive is to live our lives in a particular way as to have such glorious home calling when it is time; a life of sacrifice.




How would life without your wife be for you?

It depends on what you mean by being without her, because there is a physical presence and a spiritual presence. Actually, living without her would only mean living without her being physically present. But in the real sense of it I am not living without her.




How would you describe her?

I would describe her as a lovely, wonderful, spiritual and inspiring wife, mother and Christian leader. She was everything good you could think about. She was a great gift.




What would you miss about her?

What would I miss about her? I think I will prefer to keep that detail to myself.




As the Editor-In-Chief, won't her passage affect the publication of The Christian Women Mirror?

No, because she was not doing everything alone. She was a servant leader that carried everybody along. The vision is still there and those who were working with her would keep the vision running.




Can you remember the last word she said to you?

The last word she said to me. It is a bit difficult to point out, because we shared and spoke together a lot. And when you speak with someone often, it is difficult to remember the last word was. We communicated often.




Are you likely to take another wife?

Let us say that you are not a Christian leader; not even a Christian at all, and not in any religion, and your wife died and in less than two weeks someone asked you about remarrying another wife, how would you address such a question? I do not think that question is appropriate.




What is your advice for women in relating with their husbands?

Whatever dream, goals or aspiration you have, self efforts would only go so far. You want to be humble wife, you want to be successful, you want to have this and that, but most of the time, we want to achieve those on our own. That is why most of the time, we fail. God is the one that can provide all that we need to become the great persons we desire to be. My counsel would be that we should link up with Him. All the qualities, virtues, strength and traits we need would thereby be supplied. Mummy was such a humble person. She never argued with me whenever I offered direction on how things should be done. Our children never saw us arguing or disagreeing with ourselves. Most of the time, she tells me that although she is my wife, she also accepts me as her pastor. She was very devoted to the word of God and even cross checks references with me on my messages if there is an area she did not quite understand. It was a thing of joy for me that she went home on the wings of my preaching during the Easter retreat. We knew the Lord in our youth and that has provided that wisdom and strength from within for all our endeavours.



http://odili.net/news/source/2009/apr/25/415.html

hmmm- are you sure that's your picture. if it is, why didnt you post it before now.



[quote author=SoAmazing! link=topic=266191.msg3789185#msg3789185 date=1240865009]@poster, I'm one of them homies that got on the case of some ladies who were throwing poop around because they're so full of themselves.Only empty barrels make the loudest noise.If you're even 'boy' enough, why haven't you posted your pic for us to see?I've posted mine just because of your effrontery.I don't think it's rocket sized to post yours either.Touch base with me or I'm gonna get real on your case for this crap coming outta ya mouth instead of your asshole![/quote]

assuming there was a history section on NL, and the OP wasnt perpetually drunk, this thread has little to do with his theme.

[quote author=Aloy.Emeka link=topic=266138.msg3788944#msg3788944 date=1240861595]In order words igbos are underachievers at the world stage academically since the statistical representation in Nigeria is grossly flawed?. You will never dissapoint me when it comes to anything igbo. You have a professional qualification in igbo affairs and technical bashing.[/quote]

tpiah:
This is how people make unnecessary trouble.

1. Exam results in Nigeria are heavily tainted by cheating and scandal. 


2. Exam results worldwide do not show anything you're claiming here.


Small time now you'll say people are bashing Igbos.

exam results in NIGERIA are heavily tainted by exam malpractice and scandals. Hence the heavy number of educated semi literates of which many abound on NL.

And thus the exam figures/statistics are generally unreliable though subject to manipulation and open interpretation.


Now, tell me where I mentioned tribe in sentence #1.



Exam results worldwide do NOT show what's being claimed by Jakumo and Richyblack. If una like make una go wikipedia go enter that statement there!

Now, if your interpretation of sentence #2 is that it means Igbos are underachievers, then that's your own problem oh! Nothing do me- na your wahala!!!

I wouldnt be surprised if the flu has already reached Nigeria.

its sadism to punish your children for coming into the world through you.


sheer wickedness.

Kumuyi’s wife we knew, by sons, sympathisers



FOR two weeks, the International Bible Training Centre, IBTC, Ayobo, a suburb of Lagos, became a Jerusalem of some sort where a sea of faithful daily thronged to pay their last respects to a jewel who was taken back to heaven on April 11, after singing her own Nunc dimitis.


Born to the Olowu Family of Epe on January 7, 1952, Abiodun attended Baptist Primary School, Surulere in Lagos, She had her secondary education at the New Era Girls Secondary School, Lagos and then proceeded to the Federal College of Education, Akoka, Yaba, Lagos where she read Business and Secretarial Studies. On September 13, 1980, Abiodun married her erstwhile Bible study teacher, Pastor William Folorunsho Kumuyi. He had defied all pressures from friends and family concerning marriage, preferring instead to pray and wait for God to direct him to the partner He had chosen specially for him. God answered that prayer in Abiodun and the union was blessed with two sons, Jeremiah and John.

In his tribute to mother, Jeremiah, 27, said: “It’s been difficult for me to come to terms with my mum’s departure. Sometimes, I try to hold back tears and other times I’m still in utter shock. But I get consoled in the fact that she lived a dedicated life and has gone to be with the Lord. Words obviously cannot begin to describe how much she meant to me. I don’t think there would come a time when I would actually know what to say. I keep looking at her pictures from time to time remembering her counsel and how much she inspired me to live a devoted Christian life, As much as my heart aches and tears continue to flow, I believe God has a reason for everything.” His younger brother, John, in his tribute, said: “A true mother she was, that taught me and enforced the principles of humility and modesty, which she exemplified by her lifestyle. She has touched many lives far beyond her immediate family circle, She had been an inspirational support to my dad and the ministry as we won’t have gotten thus far without her. It’s definitely hard to see her go so soon, but if God says her ministry is complete, may the will of the Lord be done. We are all here today to celebrate the going home of my dear mother and yours also. My prayer is that we will all get to see her again when Christ comes and receive those resounding words, ‘Well done my child.”



The list of personalities that attended the funeral service is legion and many of them paid glowing tributes to the departed wife of the general superintendent of Deeper Christian Life Church, Pastor William Kumuyi. Erstwhile head of state, Gen. Yakubu Gowon, pleaded with Pastor Kumuyi to accept our sincere condolences especially at this crucial moment of great challenges for the family.  “Pastor, please accept our condolences for the passing away of our great mother to all of us. We wish you her eternal rest in the Lord. We all admire her for the noble strides she accomplished is such a shirt space of time she sojourned here on earth,  She was a shining example to all faithful mothers in Christ. May her gentle soul rest in perfect peace.”

Governor Raji Fashola, on behalf of himself and the people of Lagos State, also extended sincere condolences to the bereaved family, saying: “Reading the biography, it seems to me that the Deeper Christian Life Church has been around for ever. As you grief, sir, I beseech you to only grief in the physical because her great works have spoken eloquently about her great works here and has gone to joined her maker.”



Bishop Oyedepo described Pastor Kumuyi as a great man of God who needs all the support now because the journey had just begun for him. “It can only get better! May the Lord who has began a great thing in your family bring to a great fulfillment. May her soul rest in perfect peace.” Preaching the only sermon of the day, Pastor, Kumuyi who, maintained a philosophical silence in the last two weeks, smiling, said: “Traditionally, nobody would expect me to preach on a day like this, but when she was alive, and she is still alive, she accepted me as her teacher, husband and her pastor and she would prefer that her pastor should preach at her funeral service.”  The pastor also used the occasion to confirm Vanguard’s story that he refused to pray for the resurrection of the dead wife when he arrived the scene from the retreat ground. According to him, the wife actually opted to go with him to the retreat on Wednesday when he departed, but he prevailed on her not to because she was too weak to go for such a programme, and she watched the programme daily on satellite in their home. “When I called her on Friday evening to ask her how she was doing, she sounded so radiantly that I was encouraged to believe she was coming back to life but on Saturday morning when I called after the faith clinic, they told me her phone was no longer available.


“I rushed home without letting anybody know where I was going and when I got home, the elders were praying and wanted me to join them but I shove aside to go and see what was happening. When I saw her on the bed, she was looking very radiant with joy on her face but when I touched her and pushed her, I found that her body was here but her soul was gone.  When I was told, I just said ‘Praise the Lord’. I simply told the people there that she had gone home on the wings of my preaching and prayers. I bowed to the perfect will of God. I never thought of bringing her to this sinful world again and I went back to the retreat to continue to preach the gospel because she has gone to a better place and the gospel must be preached. I am still preaching the gospel.”


The two children were driven in a black Toyota Camry car marked GY 590 GGE while their father came in a black Mercedes Benz GL 459 FE 325 ABC. The ceremonies which began on Thursday were attended by a representative of the vice president, Dr. Jonathan Goodluck. He was represented by the  Aso Rock champlain, Venerable Ozurumba.

Mrs. Abimbola Fashola, Mrs. Roli Uduaghan, Justice Niki Tobi, Mr. Adidi, the advisor of Finance of Benin Republic, Pastor Michael Ojo who represented Pastor Enoch Adeboye, Pastor Lazarus Muoka, Bishop Mike Fadeyi, Bishop Godwin Eremobor, Rev. Solomon, Kumolu, Rear Admiral Ihenreh, Bishop Francis Wale Oke, and a representative of the Anglican Archbishop of Lagos, Most Rev. Ephraim Ademowo. The Oba of Ayobo also represented the traditional institution. She was laid to rest at about 2.03 p.m. amidst subdued tears.

http://odili.net/news/source/2009/apr/25/311.html

aha- is that one of the secret weapons Ijebu girls use to "hook" their husbands


I dont see anything wrong with it- just shows how much she values her hubby,imo.


@ topic:

I think its an individual thing- I'm not sure if its a general culture.

So do the others get a snack or something while waiting for the man to get home?

I'm so sure this video will "somehow" reach any guy this woman gets involved with. Even if she becomes a rev sister or joins the strictest Christian denomination in Nigeria.

My advice once again is if she's aware of this video, she'd better tell any guy interested in her, upfront. Dont wait for nasty surprises.

and better still, look outside the country for marriage partners whenever she's ready to settle down.

if she marries an ex-porn star or some similar person then she has nothing to worry about, imo.

Gbenga is either in love or trying to get a promotion.

Either way, its his business.

debosky:
Ghadaffi is a paranoid loon who abhors opposition of any form. I don't think the all female squad is simply down to feminine ferocity rather than fears of being compromised by corruptible men who want to usurp him.

Taking nothing away from the women though, amazons and the like have been known to be deadly warriors.

I don't believe women should be in the army if in this day and age such abuses continue. Either stamp out the abuses completely or take women out of these situations. 30% is a highly appalling figure.

I am all for equality and women being able to serve their country, but if under these harsh conditions they are continuously threatened and endangered by their own, then I would object strongly to their participation.

I dont think the rapists should go scot free. Rape is wrong even if its female soldiers involved.

Prosecuting the rapist soldiers will send a message to others of like mind.