₦airaland Forum

[quote author=edie_mafio]Isn't it funny how ladies have avoided this thread?, I read another thread tittled ''y do women stay in abusive relationships'' or ''y is divorce not an option'', almost sll d ladies in nairaland were there condemning men with many threatening thunder and brimstone, worst of all, even full grown men with beards were also there talk ing bullocks, men, pls dont be fooled a second time.while u r busy fighting for them, they will b busy plannig on how to subdue u..
Can u derive for ur self what some women actually consider a caring man, he listens to me, if u do otherwise, u r not a caring man.u already know d kind of things some women will ask u to do,''chuk him out, lock him up, its either u choose them or u choose me", not all women though, but majority have that tendency if not controlled.
Men will b d architect of their own doom if they dont get deceived by a woman's charm, u may just get more than u bargained for.[/quote]its so sad bro

Ayee Idris: Is it really none of his business? It is his brother. What would you have done?

the brother just got wedded to a woman whom obviously he is going to live forever with.what do you think? You bring up info on a woman when half of it are rumours? What did you hope to achieve at that moment? You just ruined the dudes life.shoulda just kept quite and watch from a distance.he was already wedded for christsake.

terrible thing to do. non of his business.very shamefull of him

Alikaxon: in conccordance wit who?

her and the hospital of course.or anything bad about it?

with her and the hospital of course.why? Anything bad about it

yea

lorretta u: Lol
I hope not

i hope not too.yea...lapping up anything that fans your vainity huh?.but a few abusive arguments doesnt suddenly produce a crush in every man.

lorretta u: Today is sunday
I don't have the energy to fight u
So keep on misunderstanding me
Your cup of tea

your topic had a strong tone.every guy who played dumb understood your idea clearly.but you never bothered to find out reasons for the reactions.its not always about you women.try looking at the big picture somtimes.why would you wave off reasons a man might have become abusive? You where so narrow.for you it was all your emotions.that thread was going to end up as a male hate venting thread.

crackhaus:
I meet a lot of troublesome people, so it's possible I met you before

lol crackhaus its trouble now cause i found you out? you seem to be struggling to fit into the female tag and meaning of a "Real man".dont let them do that pal even if you're crushing hard like now.

chaircover: You mean that your doctor sits down and discuss other patients medical issues with you?

No confidentiality, no data protection

Heck, the doctors receptionist who is a very good friend of my husband, wouldn't even give results of a pregnancy test over the phone to my husband. We weren't impressed at the time, but we totally understood where they were coming from. The law is there to protect peoples privacy and confidentiality.

You need to change doctors and learn to develop temporary hearing loss when you see people that you shouldn't be speaking to or seen with, out of the corner of your eye and learn to walk very away very fast.

I still dont understand the story maybe because I am reading it from a logical point of view and it just doesnt seem logical

Doesn't this your neighbor have a husband or family members?

its so saddening how terribly hard you are trying to discredit the op's live story.never knew a heart could try to support such evil.women!

lorretta u: Sharrap
What makes you think he wasn't saying his mind?
Or you think everyman supports abuse just cos they are men?

BTW hope you went to church

Abuser! You just never tire of aiming one at men right? I dont support abuse of watever form.alota women no very little about men.even the one they end up with.your emotions and insecurities dont just let you...

crackhaus:

I Loff you too cherry

impressive! Crackhaus have we met before? No wonder you painfully coudnt bare your true mind.i feel your pain too buddy.silly things we do for luv huh?

never you find yourself at the mercy of a woman.if only you can avoid it.they get easily excited when they snif power.alota them are terribly insecured with bi-polar cases.if they feel they can get an advantage on you, they would.simple

crackhaus: Guy man, that's not aggression/

You previously quoted me on Lorretta's thread the other day saying nearly the exact same thing you said in the original post where you quoted me here again. I ignored you then, and I wasn't about to do that again here since it's clear that you have a problem with my opinions on this issue of marital/spousal abuse.

Now that you're trying to be cool again, why don't you state exactly what your stand is on abuse (whether by male or female), although your aversion to my opinion already tells me where you stand.

once again i re-emphasize that i do not support watever form of abuse be it female or male perhaps i wasnt objective enough for you in the other thread but the o.p understood my views.please dont mis-quote me

crackhaus: You again, with the same gaddem accusations.
Listen dude, don't hound me by making sentimental claims...you know nothing about me, dig it?

Just listen to yourself preach on about objectivity when you're clearly the one who stated your opinions based on the subjectivity of being male, and you got the nerve to say I'm not objective...are you dense?

Okay now that we all know you got the most experience with 'abusive' women to be the 'objective' one, have you ever tried to understand why you're abused by these your so-called plenty women?

Do you think a man with a sense of himself and worth, with confidence and esteem gets mentally/emotionally affected by his wife's/gf's emotional abuse?
Do you think I haven't being in relationships where my girl throws insults around and tries to raise her voice to the point of giving me a nervous breakdown?
Yea well, I have...and I didn't get physical in retaliation.

If you justify hitting a woman because she abused you emotionally or whatever, then you're a wimp...and if you 'Mr-i-am-experienced' do not still know how to handle your women without getting physical, then I wonder what this your experience has taught you so far/

Please don't make assumptions about me again, be cool.

buddy why are you getting all aggressive and defensive.your angry comment has testosteron all over it.did you ever see anywhere i supported physical abuse?why do you make me feel like i'm responding to an abusive lady? Well you may be one but take it easy ok? there are alot of bi-polar people like you too.be gentle.i apologize if my earliar comment was too blunt ok?

switosman: actually my position is not all encompassing, that one had such a past does not mean we should condole abuse from wives. I found out that these women do not even know they have a problem and so will not seek solution.
the other type have weak personality and will take all sort of wrong advise from evil people, coupled with female insecurity they will act out thier fear.
on my part, I married an abusive woman and I am managing to maintain peace. I set up boundaries and insist on them.

life must realy be hard for you.maybe if had the chance to do it again...

slimmy05: You still have a long way to go. You still have a lot to experience in life and as karma will, you'll definitely test the sweet and BAD aspect of life and one advice I'll give is to respond with all these vile and insultive words you've been using on nairaland to solve it. You'll be the worst nincompoo.p if you don't use them on that random stranger you call your bf. You need to work on your attitude cos beauty without attitude is like beauty with no brains. Your attitude is pathetic, worrysome and ofcourse a huge turn-off to most men. You feel you can spew those thrash at people cos its a faceless forum, it tells a lot on your attitude, you're very rude, insultive, silly, pathetic and a whole lot of negative thought. Work on your thought pattern, see peoples opinion as welcomed, try to be constructive in your criticism and response to their opinion and don't go all round as if you're miss OVER-CORRECT. Shows how you'll act if you ever become a boss in life. When your wild dream of geting married to a man from "obodo oyibo" becomes reality as you've been craving being the money-hungry usual girl that you are, then you'll know they also have them over there as well. I won't fold my arms see you bash at men in a very disrespectful and uncultured manner. Learn to have respect and work on your attitude.

its ok buddy

crackhaus: Okay, valid point! But you do realize from the bolded that you can't sepatate stripping a person's privileges/powers without trampling on their human rights/

your arguments are disapointing.peharps if you were married or had more experience with women you would be objective.and you wont make comments here just to impress the females and earn a few likes.

loretta you call fine gentlemen here putting clear perspectives imbecils,unintelligent, dumb,stupid,dimwits and all.you just become example of the argument.how could you,a lady show such disrespect and manners.this is emotional,pscological abuse.your intent to portray men as beasts is maliciously wicked.you are this violent on a social network which means you have the ability to get physical too.you are an abuser.and you can commit murder the way i see you.hope your unlucky boyfriend is aware he is dating a man hater.

whateva happend to a good soap and water...and a good KIM K margazine once in a while.dude where did you leave all your teen yrs?

front page.people have to made aware of these crimes.the public has to know this evil is going to happen if not stopped

front page

lorretta u: Look at it again
Mr polygamous.
O I pity the silly little girls in your bondage.(Cos they are probably teenage)
You're against divorce. Let's wait and see until one of them gets VVf. See if you won't divorce her. Or is divorce haram to women but halal to men?

miss loretta am not a fan of mujhadeens perspective but you just went low in my estimation.that comment was quite cruel and below the belt.you dont have to make references to his faith.thought your pritty head was seating on good shoulders but feminism have robbed you of that too? you have way more daddy issues than you let out really.try being a lady.we have alota teens looking up to you here.

how can we get the topic to frontpage.this issue is a very strong often negleted problem in nigeria

lorretta u: Why are you being insecure?
What exactly is your case with me?
And why do you think I hate you?
Why would I have a reason to hate you?

Why do you take it upon yourself to accuse me of supporting crimes that I don't support
If my thread is about women who are getting abused in their homes, how does it make me a supporter of child abuse and man abuse?

Or do you want us to turn this thread from advising abused women to stand up for themselves to fighting child abuse and man abuse?
You have the freewill to create thread on those topics too. We'll come and add our contributions.

Why are you feeling witch hunted?
Are you an abuser?

lol realy.nice point.i give you that.

lorretta u: we have no history whatsoever. He's just a typical nairalander making assumptions out of his own personal bias.

well beat it.i feel the hate in your tone.hate me all you want.well you are not the only woman with daddy issues neither are you the only die-hard feminist.whats your aim? To raise an army of women? A Revolution? Domestic violence exists in more forms than a woman being abused by the husband.child maids battered to death...murdered by madams of homes hardly recieve publicity if any.you waved off this particular form of abuse in your earlier comment.look at the comment above."men and there beasticious character".the thread has garthered six pages alrealdy while a thread on "a woman who wants to take her maids healthy kidneys for her daughters" barely recieves comments.the constant portrayal of men as beast is cruel, wicked, and nothing but mindless hate.even in u.s.a.men are begining to realise the deciet,bias,selfishness of the advocates of women rights.advocates of male rights are springing up too.

@tpapi.how do you print it out eventualy

tpapi: I wonder y pple r botherin abt app ID, Once ur app is successful, they av ur data, n if u r shortlisted, u jus print out ur invitation slip n go n prepare 4 ur test or interview

how do u print it out eventualy

Chomzy19: No amount of Argument will make a partially blind man see white as just white and nt milk, yes there are material evidence dt d colour white is white n milk is milk, But to d partially blind white and milk are really one n d same colour.

The truth is u cant actually blame d partially blind

you regard me a blind man because i dont concur with you? I'm not putting my arguments cause i want to see white and milk as same colour.your comment is unfair

crackhaus: I kinda like this, except that I still believe we can't quantify or qualify the reasons that would make a man become an abuser.
Okay here's another perspective to the issue of abuse;
Do you know that apart from physical abuse which is meant to inflict physical pain, there is such a thing as emotional abuse?
Like I said before, men who raise their hands on their women have more of an emotional undertone than just being brought up by a father who abused their mom or mother figure. This emotional undertone is seated along the lines of insecurity, self-esteem and a bruised ego.
In my opinion, no adult (male or female) should excuse a negative behaviour based on what they witnessed as kids.

Do you think a court of law would convict or acquit this man based on his story of how his papa beat his mama? Absolutely not!
What they would try to deliberate on would be his present state of mind as at when he beat his wife to death (Cause and Effect).
What fired him up? What got on his nerves?
Answers to these questions would almost always hedge on the man's insecurity, ego and self-esteem, which he would still serve jail time for because grown men/women should be able to show restraint on their reactions to percieved threats.

Don't get me wrong because I'm not trying to fault any gender here, but like I said before now, a woman should be able to tell when a man may become abusive and never marry him, at least not in Nigeria where family/civil laws have little or no clout in the constitution.

and a secured child with a healthy self exteem is not the product of good parenting? A child who grows up heavily insecured simply turnd out that bad?whats your point.of course society dnt give a fvck about your history.the least of all nigeria where we are yet a century away from the study of the human psycology as regards to whatever form of violence.where our "civil laws have little or no clout".yea where licenses should be issued to people who are only prepared to be parents. And yea you are damn right a man should tell when a woman is going to be abusive and never marry her.we have abusive women who are also products of poor homes murdering there maids, emotionally,psycologicaly and even physically assault there husbands.i wish you also mentioned that too.you are getting a few likes from the ladies now but i hope you notice the double standard and bias in your last sentence.

lorretta u: If I had a deep seated hatred for men like you so wisely know,my thread would probably be titled "why are nigerian men this wicked" I rather find it very upsetting that some women feel this is an OK part of marriage.hence my thread.
But you have to make it look like I created this thread to bash men
Begone with your pathetic attempts at making this a battle of the sexes thread.take it somewhere else.

i'm not battling any sex.and you created the thread to bash men.maybe out of your own deep subconscious resentment towards men.looks like you had an abusive experience yourself.there are thousand cases of different forms of domestic abuse from women in marriages or even in relationships.but they never get attention cause they are women right.the emphasis on husbands who physicaly abuse there wives as the only form of domestic abuse is so feminist.the focus on men as beasts is selfish and wicked.maybe its about time we take up cases on abuse of men too

Chomzy19: oh I see u, u turn every single post to try n make dis wat u thought it originally was 'a battle of d sexes' somehw all ur post must come down to it is finally d fault of women, When reasoning human beings finally point out to u dt it is usualyy abusive fathers that cr8t abusive sons(wch is d truth, u can read up abt d psychology of abusive men on d net) what u now say is 'human beings are meant to process things, anybody who is acting out of what his father did to his mother some yrs ago hs nt left childhood'.... Now tell me wen u were advocating that it is abusive mothers that raise abusive son did u ever think of it frm dis ur current POV that they are meant to hv outgrown it n process things better nw that they are grown up, in wch case d responsiblity for d action of d abuser falls solely on d abuser n not any parent? Oh No, u didnt but as soon as smone mentions dt it is d fault of abusive fathers u remember that human beings re meant to process things as they mature...

U know it is always good to call a spade a spade n not a long spoon or sth dt resembles a Spatula

i arnt battling any sex now cause this is for real.seeing someone abuse another and being abused, hurt by someone most dear to you... a MOTHER for that matter has unequal effects.watching my mum being abused by my dad wont certainly guarantee i would end up wanting to copy.cause thats wat its is...COPY.But to be directly abused emotionally,psycologically leaves instead a deep painful scar.you react subconsciously towards the sex responsible for that pain.that is why we have alot of vindictive people who are possibly not aware of the degree of hurt they carry withing them.infact some psycological abuse can impair you for life.you reduce a man to nothing with your most foul tongue, you arouse his deep pain he reacts subconsciously angrily, defensively and even part fear and you just would not see all these reactions also as the products of your abuse? A mother made that monster.and while still in your shackles if you poke frankenstien with your electric rod now and again he will grawl.