₦airaland Forum

paulsaint975:
Good evening nairalanders, I need your help.
I an currently contemplating suicide due to hunger and depression.
I lost my job in march since then life has been tough for me.
I need 50k to start a business that I can feed from.
I am dying from hunger and depression.
Pls help me good people.

Righteousness89:
If we don't exhibit Confindence, what are we living for?

The Life we have is From God!

It is better to Trust in God than to trust in Ncdc and all their experts!

You guys are busy fooling yourselves, looking for solutions without involving God!

I rather die trusting God Almighty, than Following a group of mere Creatures who have no regard for God.

bloomstar:


Lol this sounds funny but very very bad to be said about once country

Righteousness89:
The Worst thing that could happen in marriage is Getting married to a person that is not Divinely Ordained for you!

Many men and Women have deserted their homes just for this..

This is the Main foundation of any Home...

The money you spend on your Marriage does not equate the happiness you will get...

The number of of people that celebrate you does not equate the degree of joy in your Home..

The publicity stunts and social media attraction your Marriage get does not equate the happiness..

Pls don't just say I do! Be Divinely led Befor you say I do..

God Almighty the Creator of the institution of Marriage, is not Committed to where he didn't send you!

tfash96:
To be frank I don't know her

tensazangetsu20:
Well kinda. I didn't gain any useful or marketable skills.

saajus:
In 2020, we shouldn't be burying people at home. For Christ sake, we need to have moved ahead. They may want to sell the house in the future. This is what somebody's grave turn to:

Elder0001:
Do they pay bride price or give marriage list for marriage in the west?

Professorcplus:
op, no. 10 leave me wondering. Can you explain what or who is a friend?

Mexzie:
You are so wrong. Have you ever been to Yaba Okrika market in Lagos, Nigeria? Or Jankara, you will see lots of used baby clothes that are not as neet as these ones I have posted.
Besides I have sold a lot of baby's used clothes, these are the 3rd batch, they are no longer his size and they were expensive when I bought them brand new, if I had known i would bought used ones like most people on average income do. Buy them, wash them, and use them.
I still have 2 car seats, and a baby stroller for sale, if you have any new mother who needs them, let me know, they are all affordable.

Mexzie:
Amen. Oya come and buy. Or send money, dont just pray fo me, let God use you to provide...

ModestGal:
I have this personality I just discovered a year back.
I don't know the name of the personality, it makes people perceive me wrongly, and I never knew all these years until I studied myself and learnt about it.
I often do not do things averagely, its either I perfectly do things or don't at all.
I would have called it a perfectionist, but the definition of perfectionist is quite different from me.
For instance, its either I clean sparklingly clean and have it always clean or I leave it dirty
Its either I draw perfectly well, or I don't.

Its like I pursue just perfection in almost everything and when I can't, I neglect.

I remember when I was in sec school, I would so much care for my objects or I leave it to rot.
I used to wash my calculator whenever it has a stain, and when it got spoilt, I was given another one and I allowed it to rot because it was not even fine the first place.

In university, I would do my assignment in a perfect way, I was never zero in that. I would overdo to the extent I know how.
During examination/test, I would over read, for instance, let's say there's a topic now that we just glanced over, that those that really own it is another department, I would go to that departmental library to read a whole textbook on it.
I'm a graphic artist, I would want to draw things perfectly, and whenever its my own personal job, I would end up wasting my time because I would draw and draw

I also sew cloths, that one is the worst,as I would correct to the last extremely insignificant error. It may just be a missed stitch, I could loose a whole cloth because of a meaningless error. Many atimes people would tell me to leave it, I might have left it but in the middle of the night, I might take the cloth and be wondering if I should leave the error, and later, I would secretly loose the cloth, correct it and resew.

The only thing that saves me if I do not know how to be perfect in a task,as in if I could not identify an error, then I would make it to the perfect way I know how to.

The problem is that it makes people perceive me wrongly, that is, people describe me in two opposite ways. For instance, Mr A, who knew me being super clean would describe me as a super clean person, and Mr B would describe me in an opposite way. Some people would say I'm not friendly or I do not talk, meanwhile some would say I'm a talkative
Some would say I'm very dull while some others would say I'm very active and energetic, and when these two people meet and they see themselves describing me differently, they would start asking me funny questions of why.
For instance, I was a completely two different persons during undergraduate and Masters. The master was the real me, the undergraduate was because I was not fortunate to meet or be with people I would want to converse with and thus, I became extremely quiet,and was in seclusion most times, but during Masters, I did my Masters in University of Ibadan, I met many great young intelligent people, every minute with them is like being in HEAVEN for me,and we would discuss in a lengthy way

Uwaila Vera Omozuwa was studying microbiology at university in Nigeria’s Benin City, but her passion was theology.

Even after she gained admission to the University of Benin last year, the 22-year-old didn’t stop taking theological classes at a local parish of the Redeemed Christian Church of God in Edo State, her older sister Judith Omozuwa told CNN.

But Omozuwa’s life was cut short in a brutal attack. Last Wednesday the student was found dead, lying half-naked in a pool of blood at the church where she had been a member of the choir for many years, according to a church official.

Despite the best efforts of doctors to save her life, Omozuwa, whom her family described as “kind and intelligent,” died days after the attack.
“She wanted to be a minister and preach the word of God. The church was her favorite place to be,” Judith, 24, said by phone. “That she was murdered where she always found peace is just devastating.”

Omozuwa usually went to the church on weekdays to study to avoid distractions from her siblings at home, her sister said.
The student went more regularly in recent months as her university was one of the dozens shuttered by authorities as part of measures to halt the coronavirus pandemic in Nigeria.

Uwaila Vera Omozuwa.
On the day her sister was attacked, Judith said she walked with her to the gate of their home before she left for church — not knowing that it would be the last time she’d see her sister alive.

“Uwa complained that we made a lot of noise at home watching TV and it was getting worse now that everyone is at home.
“That day she was wearing one of my clothes and I was teasing her.
“She said that is what sisters do.”
A man has been arrested in connection with Omozuwa’s death and police say forensics show that she been hit on the head with a fire extinguisher found at the scene.

Edo Police Command spokesman Chidi Nwabuzor told reporters earlier this week: “The item used in the assault, which was a fire extinguisher, was recovered. Immediately the operatives… screened the fingerprints, which led to our suspect.”

Omozuwa’s family told CNN that medics said she was raped, but the police have stopped short of calling it rape and instead described it as “inhumane sexual assault.”
Rape is considered a stigma in most Nigerian families and it’s extraordinary for her family to reveal that this happened to her, Amnesty International Nigeria Director Osai Ojigho told CNN.

“It shows how police are unwilling to even investigate rape cases and will rather probe murder allegations. Both are heinous crimes and none should be dismissed for the other,” Ojigho said.

CNN has made several attempts to reach the police team in charge of the investigation with no response so far.
However, for the first time in recent years, Nigeria’s police said it planned to strengthen its response to gender-based violence, adding that it had deployed special detectives across the country to work on gender violence cases.

“This is to strengthen and enhance the capacity of the units to respond to increasing challenges of sexual assaults and domestic/gender-based violence linked with the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic and other social ills within the country,” the statement announcing the change said.

The force is also calling on citizens to come forward with information that could assist them in ongoing probes of sexual assault and domestic violence cases in the country, Nigeria police spokesman Frank Mba said in the statement.

Violence against women is a daily reality in Nigeria, where 25% of girls have experienced sexual violence before the age of 18, compared with 10% of boys, according to a 2014 UNICEF study.

Uwaila Vera Omozuwa.
Omozuwa’s death is part of a recent spate of violence involving young women in Nigeria and the killing has become a rallying cry as women call on authorities to tackle gender-based violence in the West African nation.
A group of university students marched to the police station in Benin City in protest on Tuesday, and Nigerians have been using the twin hashtags #JusticeForUwa and #SayNoToRapists to speak out against violence against women and girls.

Police say they have 11 suspects in custody in connection with the recent alleged gang rape of a 12-year old girl, according to local media reports.
Just days after Omozuwa’s death, another name was trending on social media — this time a teenage college student in the southwest of the country who was allegedly raped and murdered at her family home, according to local media reports.

Nigeria’s President Muhammadu Buhari called Omozuwa’s killing a “barbaric act” in a tweet on Tuesday and offered his “deepest condolences” to friends and the victim’s family.

He added that he expects the Nigerian police to “speedily and diligently” investigate the case to ensure justice.
Meanwhile, rights group Amnesty International has called on the Nigerian government to declare a “national crisis” on rape.

Jullima:
Yes I am! I don’t appreciate our family bidness on Nairaland.

Jullima:
I like to give people benefit of a doubt.

It’s very plausible the aunty was unaware he was outside. A lot of things could’ve gone wrong from gate house to main house. Did the gateman go tell the wife in the house immediately? Do you know if the uncle told his wife he was coming? How long did it take for the wife to know someone was outside and for her to call the uncle if he was expecting someone? All these could also be false and the woman might just be evil and she’s very comfortable risking a child’s life.

I always like to believe the positive plausible angle until you prove me wrong.

I also find it strange that his wife didn’t offer him food along with his bath, I find it even stranger the uncle didn’t ask about his trip and if he has eaten.

I have been a guest and I have been a host and from experience most people’s quality of stay can also be based on their perception and their expectations on what they think they’re owed by their hosts. I also don’t want to invalidate the OP’s experience. I think he should tell his sister his own experience and tell her what to watch out for. If you have food, shelter and security what else is left again?

daboy18:
Sorry I created this account because I have been following this forum as a guest. Something has been bothering me. I am a boy of 18 yers last year I travelled from ekiti to Abuja to visit my uncle it was my first time to go to Abuja , I was very excited and couldn’t wait to see the place myself because I was getting jealous of my parents and older siblings talking about the place after visiting my uncle. My uncle was aware of my arrival because he paid for my transport fare. On my way to his place we was chatting via Facebook messenger he told me that he was busy at work and he will be home late but his wife and kids are at home they will take care of me . After a long journey i
Arrive safely to his house it was around 7 in the evening , I knocked and a man came a security guy , I introduced myself but the guy refuse to allow me to go inside. He locked me out, i taught maybe I was in the wrong house but when I took my diary to check the address again and it was correct , I just don’t know why he refuse to allow me inside , I don’t know if it was his wife who told him not to , I was confuse , I was tired , hungry my last meal was 2 in the afternoon and desperately needed to use toilet my head was spinning and hurting me bad . My phone was dead low battery and I couldn’t call my uncle to inform him of what was happening , I was in tears because I didn’t know what else to do , in a big city like Abuja and the only people I knows abandon me. Because it was dark and people were not passing around , i desperately needed toilet I had to pee outside there compound and I sat there with my luggage for almost long time then the guy came again and opened the door and ask me to follow him. He took me inside the house where my uncle’s wife and another wife I didn’t know who she was were watching tv , I greeted them and his wife said why I can’t I phone her to let her know that I was outside , I explained that my battery was dead but she wasn’t interested , she then asked her maid to show me the room and the bathroom so I could have my bath. I was very angry my entire body was shaking , I wanted to ask her if I could eat first but I was shy to ask and I went and had my bath and all I could think of was foods. I taught after my bath I will go downstairs and my food will be ready of which I went downstairs to eat and my uncle was also back , I greeted him then he went to have his bath while the maid was preparing food for me , I taught it was for both of us but I was wrong, few mins later his wife told me to go sleep because I had a long tiring day I should rest. I obeyed but deep in me I was like how could this woman be this wicked , first of al she locked me outside for 2 hours and again she deprived me of food , i was in tears again I am a boy but I very emotional, I cry anytime I am pained . I went to bed angry something I never did before even taught my parents are not rich but we never sleep angry. I cried a lot that night I soaked my pillow with tears and I just couldn’t wait for sun to come so I could eat. In the morning I woke up very early but I had to wait for my cousins to wake so we could all eat together and we had a great breakfast together with both parents but what I noticed for one week I had spend with them is his wife only treated me well when my uncle was around and when is not around is hell. She wouldn’t let me eat in the same table with her kids or touched her children PlayStation games , she will keep my cousins away from me , I will be all alone but I have never told my uncle anything because I don’t want to cause problems. Till now I have also never had told my parents about what his wife did to me. My mum is a no nonsense woman if I told her she would have go all the way to Abuja to fight her so I decided to keep it to myself. The issue on ground is my mum want my 14 years old little sister to go and live with my uncle so my uncle could train her but I don’t like the idea because his wife will abuse her the same way she did with me , mine was only for a week it was hell and what about my sister who will be with them for years , I am scared that She will die of anger and I will not see her again but I don’t know how to tell my mum not to send her because if I said what happened to me there , it will cause a lot of trouble because my mum will revenge . I just don’t know what to tell her or should I let her go and wait for her to speak for herself when she will start abusing her. What should I do please

Mexzie:
Used baby clothes, baby shaw & baby shawl for sale, all are very clean and ready to use.

The baby has outgrown all the clothes and the shoe.

The white baby shawl is what the clothes were laid on in the picture.

The shoe was bought brand new from the U.S

Price for everything (clothes, shawl, and shoe) together = 10,000

Call/Whatsapp - 08057130127

charlesELIKIBA:
HELLP NAIRALANDERS

i will be brief with my writeup as much as possible so i can explain my connection with this lady.

my single mom gave me away at a tender age of 5 to her elder brother ( financial difficulties i assume), this ''aunty'' happens to be the wife of this my mothers elder brother.

already they had 4 children, all boys.

the home was a tough upbringing with strict rules about socialising, we weren't allowed to bring friends home or go to friends places. it was pretty strict and my uncles wife i would say was the mastermind of it all, she was strict and mean maybe because it was a house of 5 boys.

growing up in my uncles home, i wouldn't say i was treated diffrently because i always got matching outfits with my uncle's children during christmas, gifts during christmas, same portions of food BUT IN ALL i was always scared of doing somethings my cousins would do, i didn't feel free growing up, i felt diffrent from them. in some case they attended the best schools than i ( but i never attended a govt. school or a bad private school).

its like if their school fees was 1m naira per term, mine would be 150,000 per term.

i lived with them until i was about 16 or 17 and one morning i woke up and they said i was going back to my mother. at 15 or 16 like any kid, you would start to develop conscience (sense), maybe breaking some rules and being stubborn just like their own kids. this i assume was why they wanted to send me back to my mother OTHERWISE I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE I DID WRONG OR DIFFRENT.

in all of these years living with them, i saw my mother as a strange person, i had no motherly connection with her. my anty to me, was my real mother. whenever we went visiting my mother in very rare occasions, it was always awkward.

well long story short, i found myself back in my mothers arms, to a new environment i knew nothing about and starting to learn to live with a woman called my mother. i was naive had no choice but to accept realities on ground. do you know that feeling of living in a pouch house and wake up next morning in a 1 room surrounded by thick bushes. yes that was the change.

i was enrolled into a school, my uncle was repeatedly forced to send/ pay my schoolfees until i was in ss3 and i called him to inform him about waec enrolment. he told me on the phone ''all the exams i have been writing, how many have i passed'' and that was it he never sent a dime anymore meanwhile at this point his children my cousins were already miles ahead of me suddenly in education. when i left the home, the eldest son went to canada to school, the second who is my agemate was already in a private uni in nigeria and the 3rd who i am senior to with a year is preparing to go to ukraine for school and years later the last born who i spoonfed and chewed meat for attended uni in ghana.

well long story short, since my uncle had failed me. my mother said it was time i go to my father. my father was old retired pensioner. my mother took me to him, as expected awkward encounter. i have never known this man, no memory of him. well he said he would find my enrolment money and he did, he later passed on a year or two later.

i enrolled waec and pased in one sitting, thanks to miracle centres.
PS: i must say i was never an intelligent student. i wasn't even average but i wasn't the poorest and neither of my uncles children were better. we were all poor educationally.

long story short another uncle sprang up and payed for my university diploma which i later acquiried.










YEARS LATER my uncle and aunty decide to move back to our home town, please note the home my mother stayed in was this my uncles home. it was the boy quarters, the main house was not even in sight as at the time i was returned to my mother. we did series of bush clearing and snakes killing lol. well my uncle returned home town after retirement and setup the main structure ( a 5 bed room duplex) and thats were they lived while i and my mother lived in the BQ.

I WAS very angry with myself that i happened to still live with them AGAIN, i needed to get out of their sight, my condition was bad. i was a mere teacher to some rickety school. in all of this my uncles wife always ensured she knew what i was upto and she derived satisfaction when she knew i wasn't doing better than her kids who were all abroad. i turned to their errand boy again after years of neglect. i was very angry with myself and needed to save to get out of the house.

well i did manage to save up and leave the house and i promised myself never to return to that house. i felt neglected, i felt they sent me away because the goodthings were coming and they couldn't bear to see me share in them because to me they were my parents.






YEARS LATER, my aunty was sick with cancer
please note before i left the home, my uncle and aunty always sent me to travel journeys to get them medicines from a monastry. i attended such trips severally and ran other seperate errands but i never dared to drive their car talkless ask for the key. i always washed their car in the mornings, i would never also dare to see myself in the living room of the duplex with the remote in hand. when they moved back to the hometown, that fear in my childhood started again but this time i was mature enough to know i would never amount to anything in life if i continued this again hence the reason i needed to move out.

so my aunty sickness grew worse, the husband flew her to india and back but the sickness grew worse. in all of this cancer times i never went back to the house to see her. i only heard of her conditions from my siblings ( my half siblings, my mother was marry to 3 men in diffrent years and she had only me for my father, another for another man and 3 for another man, i was the lastborn of all).

then my aunty died. the day she died, i saw her in my dreams and she was crying saying ''she forgave me''. a day or two later i went to my sisters store and she told me of my aunty death, i went to my rented apartment and cried profusely. i later summouned courage and maybe sympathy and went to my uncles house and i cried before my uncle and told him to forgive me too for all abandoning them all this while.

NOW ABOUT MY AUNTY SAYING SHE FORGAVE ME IN THE DREAM: i did not do her any wrong neither did i wish death on her. all her life her greatest fear was maybe i would become greater than her children. she loved these comparisms, i was never wicked to her, i never cursed her, i was never rude to her unless i some instances when she sends me errands and i tell her i have other things to do....otherwise i never was negative to her instead she is the one nobody likes, by nobody i mean my uncles family. nobody talks good of her, they say she controls my uncle and also squandered his money but in all of this i never spoke of my experiences living with them and somethings they did wrong that made me feel diffrent, i did not even tell you guys neither have i told my mother ever. i don't see them as anything that would stop my growth in life. i hate to talk about the bad in people.



WELL BACK TO REASON THE TOPIC WAS CREATED, why do i keep repeatedly seeing her in my dreams even after her death and its always on a negative role. its either in the dream she still plays mother, or she is gossip about me in the dream or she is against me in the dream, just think of anything negative in a dream and she will be the mastermind. this is really beginning to worry me. why is she still attached to me in the dreams?

after she died, her husband, my uncle started his own sickness but has being sick for years now, he is bed ridden. the family have repeatedly asked him if there is anything he and his late wife did in the past to amount such sickness were he is living in pain but refused to die and he would not answer. one time they said, he said ''it was out of ignorance'' and thats all he ever said about anything.

it will also be good to note that of all my 4 cousin brothers and i today, i am the most successful by far.
i just finished my house ( a 3bedroom,2 bedroom, 1 bedrrom bungalow)
january this year i bought my 3rd car.
i travel round the world effortlessly.
YES I DID TURN OUT FAR BETTER THAN MY COUSINS WHO YOU KNOW HAD THE BEST EDUCATION.
i don't want to talk of their conditions, lets concentrate on me.




so this is my much writeup...i had to skip many things so you can bear to read but please be free to ask me questions.
Why do i repeatedly see my aunty in my dreams.... just before this writeup, i had just woken up from another dream she was present in, she was whispering to the ears of a very good friend of mine and then the friends turned to me and was like '' ah cahrles na so you be''?...and i was angry and was like '' how can you believe something someone you just met told you against i your best friends word'' and minutes later dream ended and i woke up.

at this point i am thinking of going spiritual to know why this is happening but this will be a first in my life. there are two popular places i have never being in my life until lately last year...one is a shrine and the other is a police station. last year was my first time to be in a police station. i was driving my unregistered car. that was my offence.

cc; lalasticlala, seun, RoyalRoy, OAM4J, servantofGod22

samicine:
bros dont play smart...
Your being ignorant.
How does it apply here?
Is it written in the bible you should test your wife before marriage...
Apply sense and logic.