₦airaland Forum

Because no one would date me,  

Dr/Mr. Cock u've got a personality disorder!

Beats the hell out of me.

Social Kini? LMAO

OP don't waste your time on a wild goose chase. What you're looking for simply does not exist in Nigeria.

what we have here are usually poorly funded NGOs.

We'll get there sha, Someday!.

Thanks Ben. i'll most likely send someone to get it 4 me since i dont reside in lasgidi anymore.

I really value ur input sir.

Guys please i need your help again. I've fruitlessly scoured every corner of Abuja in search of Lagbaja's first 2 albums (which i consider to be timeless works of art): Ikira (1993) and C'est Un African Thing (1996).

Any hint on where or how to obtain these albums will be highly appreciated.

Thanks.

Master i hail o. Glad u're stil here doing your thing. Pls i need the quotes on a 2005 Rav 4.

Saw this coming. I knew what happened in kampala was a ruse and a very cheap justification for what they were about to do.

When his predecessor bought the jet that recently 'broke down' in kapala, wasnt it tagged as "New"? Now they want to buy three 'New' ones abi?

God punish their mama!

My teenage years wasn't exactly rosy.

I remember coming back from school one hot afternoon and noticed that the pendulum on the Grandfather's clock' had stopped moving, so i figured it just needed to be wound.

Haven seen pupsy do it all the time, i thought there was nothing to it and i could easily handle it (despite some very stern warnings never to). So i took that key looking thing and wound and wound and wound till the thing was so stiff. I 'manually' adjusted the hands to the correct time and whistled off to play football.

what i did not know was that the silly clock was adding 5 chimes to every hour. When my dad got back and he heard the extra chimes he didn't say anything, but i knew i was in soup.

He allowed me to sleep and next thing i know, i was waking to a stingy sensation on my back.

Cant ever forget that day.

@poster:
OPEN A MILK FACTORY 

I'll Take care of You -Dixie Chicks

Bestglo:
I dont even know what to say

^^^^^
Walahi!

chamotex:
I still got mine intact

^^^^
Yeeah right! After how many children?

@Topic:
Breaking up just got harder man. Imagine this situation:
Innocent Bobo: I'm tired of this relationship. It's time we start dating other people.
Kpekus-reconstucting babe: Ehen, After removing my fake   vvirginity you now want to date other people abi?, Abeg pay me my surgery money! ROFLMAO

ROFLMAO.

Dual_Core, U just confirmed it: U NO WELL AT ALL!

Ileke-IdI:
How did we reach this number?

So many EzeUches and Sjeezy8s shooting sperms everywhere.

^^^^^
You're missing the main culprit: Tuface Idibia! Tubaba, u 2 much!

Does it come with parachutes and inflatable life jackets?

yiboboy:
Lame-backside biafran vet, he prolly got only one shot at target!!! nansense!!!

^^^^
ROFLMAO

greateros:
Yesu! Oluwa wa!! Amin! Amin!! Aminooooo!!!!!!!!

^^^
Bloody Clown

ITbomb:
When the change come, you may not be able to benefit from it.
No be prayer.
Na so dem tell one king for Bible.

^^^^
I asked two very simple questions. The need for religious bigotry does not arise.

honiye:
I see that solutions to our economic problems not forthcoming until we individuals change our attitude, mentality and perception to our own country. we made up of everyone represented in every crime committed in this country. someone just asked a question that might be vital to him/her, only for some silly idiots to enlist social vices and criminal activities as option. You and you need to change yourself before you can change anyone. If you can not utilize this forum for things more reasonable why don't you sign off?

^^^^
we individuals change our attitude and perception? Don't make me laugh! let me ask you these very simple questions:
1.  When was the last time your vote counted in Nigeria?
2.  When was the last time Nigeria had a 'Honest-To-God' Politician, that is not a thieving, scheming 'basterd' like all the lot?

If any of your answers to the above questions happens to be 'i cant remember', then your conviction that a change in the attitude and mentality of an individual (whose vote doesn't even count) is seriously flawed, my friend.

Let me also point out to you my dear friend, that great minds (whom in your own warped and prejudiced opinion you chose to call 'silly idiots') answered the poster's query with the sick and bitter truth. Deal with it!

So come off your high horse from far away Canada and face the truth. These are the Top 10 Well Paid Occupations In Nigeria (like i posted earlier)

1. Mega Oyel Bunkering (like those guys in the ND creeks)
2. Kidnapping (will soon displace oyel bunkering for the no. 1 spot because it has a higher "Return On Investment" rate)
3. More oyel bunkering (like that dude in Lagos)
4. Politics (Pays like hell. ever heard of "Sitting Allowance"? yeah, they get that too!)
5. Police (N50 x 500 Motorists  x 365 days. We're  talking some really huge figures here!)
6. Yahoo-Yahoo
7. Multinational Oyel workers
8. Bank Executives
9. Contractors
10. Others

Shallom.

vinmol:
all this naija in Diaspora go just open mouth dey misyarn!

if the country is that good and u can earn a decent living as the case maybe, comeback!! comeback!

come and wake up in naija and smell the coffee!!!

u can only be saying all dat nonsense about good image beacuse you are not the one wearing the shoes, live Oyinbo land come naija for only 2 weeks and then u will sing a new song!

I REPEAT NAIJA IS A FAILED STATE!!

^^^^
GBAM!

Destinyrap:
My fellow nairalanders u are the change this nation has been looking for why cant we talk good of this our great country.This rebranding begins with you and this our nation will be good,by GODS grace I BELIEVE WE CAN FLY LIKEEALE.AMEN

^^^^
You can talk good from now till tomorrow, it changes nothing. Now, you ask me, what will change anything? and i tell you, line up all our politicians and put hot leads inside their skulls! Now, that'll change something!

spikedcylinder:
Wow.
Any WHITE COLLAR JOBS, by the way?

^^^^
Unless the poster narrows it down and changes his topic to: Top 10 Well Paid 'Non-Criminal' Occupations In Nigeria

Mcsheda:
guyz i feel so sick reading or these rubbish.

^^^
You can feel sick all you want my friend, It's the honest to God truth! These crimes remain the highest paying 'occupations' in Nigeria today.

I hope this helps:

1. Mega Oyel Bunkering (like those guys in the ND creeks)
2. Kidnapping (will soon displace oyel bunkering for the no. 1 spot because it has a higher "Return On Investment" rate)
3. More oyel bunkering (like that dude in Lagos)
4. Politics (Pays like hell. ever heard of "Sitting Allowance"? yeah, they get that too!)
5. Police (N50 x 500 Motorists  x 365 days. We're  talking some really huge figures here!)
6. Yahoo-Yahoo
7. Multinational Oyel workers
8. Bank Executives
9. Contractors
10. Others

LWKMD! Men! no s.ex for that guy forever! i cant stop laughing.

Its very annoying. Seriously!

I had a run in with one of them at the Benin-city airport. This guy was well dressed, he even had a newspaper and a pack of juice! he walked up to me and said he needed 500 naira (BTW he didn't say what for). I said i don't have and he said OK, 200 naira will do. i got so pissed and i just shook my head in pity and walked away from him. A few glances back and i saw him 'attacking' other people as well.

PokerFace:
Well-er, they-er serv-er food-er like-er : er

Beans-er
Rice-er
Tomatoes Stew-er
Iyan-er
Fried-er Rice-er
Jollof-er Rice-er
Moin-Moin-er
Fish-er
Pure Water-er
Kpomo-er
Pepper Soup-er
Fufu-er
Eba-er
Amala-er

ROFLMAO Walahi pokerface u no well! u wan er kill me?

Wow! these are desperate times!

A lady will likely get dumped (now or eventually) for any of the following reasons. (Please note that this is not in any particular order).

1.   Physically assaulting a man (for whatever reason) do it, 98% of the brothers will never marry you. Trust me.
2.   Leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen for more than 24 hours although she was home all day.
3.   Waking up in a man's bed and not making it
4.   Not knowing how to hold a good conversation
5.   Being overbearing.
6.   Lying there like some heavy log of wood during love-making.
7.   Not knowing how to manage scarce resources. (got 100k and wants to spend it all on a single Christian Louboutin bag during a financial low)
8.   Not knowing how to make simple rice and stew.
9.   Talking too much to friends about intimate issues concerning the relationship
10. Nags continuously during a football game. (The dumping will come faster if she plants herself in front of the TV and nag during the game)

Hope this helps.

dobodobo:
It is worst and worsen most in LAGOS STATE but I think government should try to put this under control.it is stupidity of Nigeria government not to take proper measures of reducing pressures on their citizen since even the money we work hard with belong to the government because when torn the government will not say you tear the money you work for,it is government money, the LAND belong to govt too because no body brings land from HEAVEN. the govt can make a law that no agent or landlord should collect more than 3 months,people will only complain for few days but we accept the law

You should come to abuja, my friend.

Well, all said and done, i believe spirituality is a personal thing. if you feel like falling down in church everytime your pastor coughs, be my guest. and if you dont believe in God, good for you (but i seriously hope u dont regret it later).

And while most of us acknowledge the existence of supreme beings (of some sort), What we should ALL admit at this time is that the religious setups we have NOW does not have all the answers to our valid questions. Questions that we have every right to ask.

That said ladies and gentlemen, i believe our quest now should be the unravelling of the mysteries that has surrounded our very existence since the ages past instead of clinging to myths shrouded in the dark cloaks of religion.

When we have the answers, i can then make up my mind whether i want to be religious or not.

Good morning.

Very intresting, this thread.

harakiri:
Hmmm. . .

Nice but that sounds a lil far fetched don't you think? Let me chip in one more thing about the Noah story. The bible tells people that after the great flood, the entire land mass was covered with water and the ark ascended beyond the highest mountain peaks. Now, no breathing organism can survive beyond 3000-5000 feet above sea level (my geography is a lil lapse here. . .lol).The highest mountain being mount Everest is over 25,000 feet above sea level.How did Noah and his cargo survive at this height without getting asphyxiated? Is this another typical "the lord works in mysterious ways" story?

OK Mr. Harakiri, you almost knocked me out! except for one little detail. Asphyxiation is death due to lack of Oxygen, Yes? OK, People get asphyxiated at that height because the neccessary components required for the creation of oxygen is absent. Now, Mr. Noah and his crew were'nt just cruising 25000 feet ASL, they were cruising on water (H2[b]O[/b])which has sufficient oxygen in it.

It has been proven scientifically, that water can everporate at great altitudes and it's components, (Hydrogen and Oxygen) released back into the atmosphere.

The oxygen that was released from Mr. Noah's flood actually did save his life. that's how my friend, Mr. Noah and his crew did not die of lack of oxygen.

See?

Our dark days are yet to be over.

The typical Nigerian Jaguda government will want to tackle the power problems like the illiterate jagudas that the are.

They want to solve all the problems in one day. A great man once said the easiest and the most effective way to solve a problem is to break the problem down into small bits and tackle each bit separately.

Our government focuses all their misguided energies on very inefficient and old Hydro electric and gas turbine power generation methods.

Is Hydro and gas the ONLY way power can be generated? How about cheaper wind turbines in windy parts of the country?, how about solar for otherwise inaccessible rural areas? how about clean nuclear power reactors in urban centers (which Nigeria can afford no matter what these slowpoke politicians say).

They prefer to apply the same old inefficient hydro to every body. How will it work?

Bloody Jaguda people.!

Mchewww! I don tire.