₦airaland Forum

@pharmking lol 
You sweat to be happy. you sound soo annoyed

@ Dawdy

Okay now I understand the origin of ur school of thought. And your correct in saying that.
But is that what you want for yourself? just cz the world is wayward do you also become wayword?? If everybody becomes gay,do you also become one?
And then one thing I nevr do is generalize.Yes its that crazy but do u know there are women/men of standard?? have you ever met them? If not then you hang in the wrong places.There are still reasonable men and women out there.Open your eyes wider and you will meet one.Cheers

Am thinking.suppose the dude was also a masters holder,would tht ensure a blissful marriage?? of course NO. If anything they may try to outdo each other when making key decisions and fights wl be inevitable. What we read here is tht the guy already feels 'intimidated'.Now that is already a dent in his personallity and danger sign. He already feels inferior. The lady needs to boost this guy's ego either way. He eithr agrees to study (which i highly doubt) or the wife regards him as a key decision maker wthout exercising her will over him. I think for such a guy,its best to get him to agree with your decision when making love. sounds crazy but it rules out the risk of him making silly decisions and driving the family bankrupt.

Well said TREKKIE

You are a strong woman and very self controlled. I salute you
WHEN SOMEBODY BREAKS YOUR HEART,CRY A RIVER,BUILD A BRIDGE THEN GET OVER IT.
is all i can say. I'ts gonna be a process bt Time heals

@ ekenea lol. I love that. but is he ,considering hes a well established businessman, willing to be made literate? You know some succesful men make it cz of their wits not education as such. Thts why some phd holders tarmac forever cz Masters/phd they have but wit, they lack. so making it becomes pretty hard.
This guy has his money without education so what else are you trying to teach him

@ UncleDumo

1. does her boss knows she is married ? YES
2. can she move with her family ?   NO. The husband cant risk living his secure job to just go play house hubby and theres no guarantee of job there for him. Hes ok with his job.
3. which country is she planning to go? (u never stated the country)      RWANDA
4. what kind of job is that? (by the husband i guess) logistics.Import/export
5.They dont reside in Nigeria.But East Africa.

Nobody wants to compromise here cz each belives they are right.Do people discuss such things b4 they even marry
Seriously I left them to God. how much advise can one give

Good for you. I hv tried to edit but Solution is simple. just ignore Upendo 98 threads. I do the same and dont complain at all.
I am attempting to get answers to another thread(not even mine)in regard to this very issue.

@ jersey boy hi. relax pliz
you know some 'worthy contributions that people post in NL on some threads do answer some of the questions in other threads. I learn alot too from what I post so its not soo much a tabloid thing.It what we can learn out of real life situations.Then we get answers.
Really some topics maybe off the hook but well I thought theres a place for complaints.And if I dont like a thread or have anything to say, I dont post.Just ignore and let those who have something proceed.It will make your life easier for real.
On that note really why dd u bring up that 'fart' story here? funny.
thanks anyway for ur perspective.

And when it comes to searching.Oh I totaly believe in God's guidance. BUT for God's sake do your part too.Pray and search
Dont pray blindly.God gives you the desires of your heart but he also says 'seek and ye shall find'.
If you expect angels to go get you a wife or husband cz uv been fasting and praying you will wait 4 eva.
If you expect God to pop up a wife or husband in your dream then you need lots of wisdom too.
Pray and be normal. I have seen people dating abnormaly cz they are christians.They even meet in church and call that date.
Visions can be very deceiving.If you love smbody and kp visualising them the whole day then you will defnately dream.Tht doesnt mean that its God's will
Balance balance. cheers

@ dankol.  right

I like saying marriage is an earthly institution ordained by God. It serves its purpose here and when we die its over.I wont rise up as Mrs .Upendo.
Who rules the earth? well we all know.But we are in the world but not of the world'
Now not everything is spiritual.Eating food isnt spiritual for instance but we pray over it cz we are christians.neither is making love. I doubt that anybody prays before or after making love.(will it kill the mood ? come to think of it).Well it doenst sound soo good.Just dont stress God. The former satisfies the body while the latter the soul where our emotions are. Education satisfies the soul too.Its not spiritual.
I think we mean the same thing but we interpret diffrently.See,if am christian and I meet a fellow christian then we marry then the union becomes spiritual.Why?? coz we r both spiritual beings and our marriage is based on God's solid principles .In other words we spiritualise the marriage.
By saying its not spiritual is coz gays are getting married,lesbians too,thugs just anybody can.
A Godly marriage is sealed by God Himself.Now does God seal a lesbian/gay marriage?? No.But is it marriage? Yes according to the laws of the country.
To summarise this I will say, christian marriage is performed under country's gorvening laws and sealed by God Himself,While a gay /lesbian marriage is still performed under the country's governing laws BUT not sealed by God. Thye are both marriages on earth.But we all know that the laws in heaven are diffrent.Thts why God wont allow our earthly marriages in heaven. Some suck for real.

I am tempted to post this after reading another thread.

What is blind love and do you really believe in it coz my eyes are really really big, can see up to mars.
Why do we act blind while dating then our eyes open up once we tie the knot? Isnt it better we open the eyes so we enter marriage not blind?
And what are the extremities of blind love? eg kleptomaniac lady in love wth pastor or phd holder in love with lady tht has nver set foot in school at all.
Is it okay in your opinion for 2 people to forget/overlook/disregard  the qualities they would like to see in potential partner because they are blindly in love but body chemistry is there?

I would really appreciate answers cz av  heard a lot of crazy stories some made it some didnt.

The company is doing a project in the country and its a 5 year period.Wel I am not sure about her continuing later.
But see she can come back home once a month.Even if its conjugal rights surely cant a weekend alone recharge you and keep you going till her next visit??
I think hes jst bringing the infedelity story to scare her away.
I thought if she gave up on it,she will nevr forget or frgive the man and it will always crop up everytime they disagree. I think she should go.
But what about a baby The man needs baby. If she gets pregnant now imagine taking leave on the first year of a great job and the psychological effects of leaving a baby at home with husband,while you are in foreign land working.The job is very demanding mind you so even raising the kid in foreign alone is crazy.

very funny again. Wow Funtional illiterates'?? ,Illiterate graduates' lol those are new ones. mmh .

@ emiye.

Did you read sir-fly's post here ? keys to landing youreself a hot woman?'
It really works on girls playing hard to get and I call it reverse psychology.
When everything else fails, try that. She's either testing you cz I dnt think shes soo naive in dating.I hate to even say shes insecure in your presence.She knows her game.
Act in a way to show you are disinterested too but dont like beg and chase her like an animal.
Roles will then change and she wll come looking for you.
Gosh I hope it works out for you.

People lets not be blind and say Love is blind. And we wonder why many mariages are breaking??I dont belive that love is blind.  love should not be blind.Who came up with that anyway??
I am not seeing any mental compatibility here yet we keep talking about it. As an African I think it would be much better if it was the other way round coz African men hate to be intimidated especially with stuff like career and money.
Marriage is no bed of roses. And when things get ugly trust me at times that lovely dovey feeling that made you blind during courtship flies out of the window and real ugly stuff come to the surface. That dont mean you dont love each other.
Nw how are they gonna make major decisions like Investing,Kids,Moving/building house, when the guy is already labelled 'Illiterate'??
She must be extremely exremely humble and be willing to agree with the man's decision however silly since hes gonna be the head and may not be willing to be 'ruled over'.If she will be bringing her masters up everytime they want to make decision, then woe unto the man.
Can she marry him? of course.After they patch that grey area.
Prevention is better than cure you know.

I have just seen many marriages go down coz of overlooking these 'minor issues during courtship.They turn ugly when you marry so sort them out first befor u say I do.

It is called 'REVERSE DATING PSYCHOLOGY.

For example, to make a donkey move forward, you pull back on it. Good for ladies playing hard to get.

How to do it

1.Avoid always being available.
2.Act partially disinterested.
3.Mention the idea of someone else. eg if she says she cant go movie tell her u got smbody else in mind.Leave her guessing.
4.Issue a challenge. Tell her she cant do something and see her try to prove she can.[/b]

Ooops am a lady and know this game men play. They just manipulate your mind and voila your done. However some ladies are smart.

Very funny replies.

Okay you can have sex without making love but you cant make love without having sex.
Which is your choice?
I am sure somebody understands what I mean.
And I think thats what MMM is talking about.make love at the right time with the right person.

Okay back to topic, the guy I said has a job too and so can not move unless you want him to go be a 'house-husband'
Besides its only a 5 yr contract meaning they will be back.So should he leave his current job go live in the house as wife Goes to work then come back after 5 years?? He may get promoted here too you know.

@ james you make me laugh now. Okay am no counsellor. I even belive its criminal to disclose peoples files if you are a counsellor. Logistics and counselling? no co-relation at all.
Anyway. Where I get this stories? I kind of 'encourage people alot really cz I have had my own share of pain too. Am mature enough and the things I see young people going through and crying about is cz they dont talk about the REAL ISSUES.
Some threads I read here asking some questions,I can relate. Nothing is better than a real life experience.Learn what you can and sort of out stuff early befor u even tie the knot. Eat the meat and throw the bones then get some direction.
I really love what some people talk about here.Some very mature replies I love.
And as I said I post real stories not nolly/bolly/holly/lolipop stuff.

Oh No its got nothing to do with his financial status. Well not for me at all.
The reason I would like to know is to lay foundation for our discussion since we just met. Call it breaking the ice.
Why fumble with words whn we first meet? We must be compatible mentally and I gauge ur intelligence and how articulate you are when you talk about your job and also see how upto date you are with whats happening in the world. Others will use the weather,others traffic,others politics.Depends really.
That will now dictate the rest of conversation

[b]My friend, they married and a year later the lady got this dream job in a foreign country.Still in Africa though not far.
Its a contract job of 5 years and its a full package meaning lots of allowances including travelling back to her country once a month. After all its Africa.
Note; she has been working very hard and studying to get a great  job and her husband supported her all through.Then finally the job came knocking and the husband on hearing its a foreign country went berserk;

a) He claims the marriage is still young and the wife must sacrifice her job for its sake
b) He fears he may land into temptation if left alone since, I mean the honeymoon isnt yet over kind of thing u know.

The wife on the other hand says;

a) If he supported me and loves me then he should sacrifice too and allow me to go
b) She insists that since she has been working hard to climb the ladder including praying and fasting, she cant let this chance pass by cz she will live to regret worse still she believes God opened the door and the hubby is just insensitive.

Now note this: They husband doesnt earn much but this job could be their dream come true.
At the time of being told the story they were not in talking terms and not sharing the bed/room together.Its gotten soo bad its a break or make situation.

Question now: who should sacrifice here and whey?[/b]

I understand control to mean 'not giving the person freedom to choose anything on their own or be themselves at all.
Its of course not good. A human being will take it for a while but will soon break.And when they break you dont wanna be close to them.They become wild and maul you.

Oooh monkey leg pliz dont get me started on that Hillary clinton. I am tempted to say 'To whom much is given much is required'
In short with such high office theres greater accountability because you are before the whole world.
BUT Apocalypse said 'dont justify sin'.
So Adultery in White house and Adultery in the poor streets of Lagos is still Adultery and none is lesser than the other.
cheers

@ 9ijarocks? its no movie sorry.They broke up last week.Woman went back to her parents wth her baby.The guy is an emotional wreck now.
On that note too,Movies based on true story are made out of real life occurences.So yeah this could make one incomplete movie.I just prefer nt to watch it.

oooh Now I understand why you were putting up such a fight LOL. Anyway this what we call life. And its how we handle situations that prove what kind of person you are and what you are really made of. Bad things happen most time to build character in us. Cheers.

In business they really do especially if u wnat to win that big account.
Now you want to win this guy/lady.Some say body chemistry is enough.No need to impress.Others think well I have to talk,dress,act in a certain manner.
Firts impressions or chemistry??

@ sley4 life   why would you flee to Gabon after frying him?? What's with Gabon??
@ Agnessqueen,well hes not my husband at all ,just a real life situation.

And oh so it was a Nollywood movie?? okay. well we have no nollywood where I am unfortunatley.Would love to know what she did then.

@ Apocalypse. you have fought the good fight and won.
Okay maybe the title ought to have read.The good the bad and the ugly side of confessions.
But the whole story gave birth to that title.It was all negative and nothing positive. So was I wrong in picking up the title??
That aside. See everybody had their opinion just like you. I also have mine. At the end of the day your conscience will judge you.
And yes you cannot justify an evil. You have to deal wth the consequences of your actions.Thats the sad truth.
Seriously you have made me sweat on this one. I am exhausted 4 real

really dude? was that it?? advertise?? you guys r funny