₦airaland Forum

I have a very nice friend of mine. Shes got her own life and money and a very nice guy.The guy never lets her spend a dime. So since they met she told me that shes nevr touched her money because the guy just insists on doing everything.He knows the lady is monied but he told her 'its my pleasure to please you' Shes a very dignified lady.
Now thats soo cool at least  it makes her feel shes  not a leach and I like the fact that you know am not 100%dependant on you ,I can stand on my own when you go down and even sort you out when in a fix. Now that to me is a healthy relationship.But when she begs cash,phones and all the time??
Get a life and a job is all I can tel them.

notin do u i dey feel u 4 nt feelin bad.

Good heavens!! Can you please decode this

Thank u 4 correction

Ohhh God .Monkey leg you make sense too.
Now you made me picture this in my mind. Its like concealing a cancerous wound.It keeps geting worse and worse and very painful but sooner or later it will manifest itself and yeah probably kill you in the end.
I did mention the same to the lady that was crying here and I told her one of the consequences of not confessing is that the chances of the husband hearing it from outside are high and it will be worse than if she had done it herself.Worse still I told her that the guy could even blackmail her and keep making unnecessary demands if she doesnt do abcd.
That said.well to confess or not to,may God be with you.

What sort of girls do some men attract? or is it where you hang out?? I dont really know but some things make me sick cz theres women that never ever beg a man anything material.Its a purely real love based relationship and if you attract girls like that, then theres something terribly wrong wth you in the first place. Theres some men that even women fear to approach because of the high standard they have set for themselves and they dont attract 'flies' (if u understand wht i mean).
That 'begging material stuff'is soo remote I dont think it ought to be happening now.

@ UNPHILAZ,

99.98% of women all over the world want their men to call daily or worse still hourly.Its a universal cry so no big deal if she asks.
In as much as we understand that a man needs his space we still want some assurance.To hear you voice is enough to keep us going. Its like recharging us or fueling a vehicle. In extreme situations it could be as a result of insecurity but in normal circumstances we just want assurance and to hear your voice.Thts why we have nothing to say to you when you pick up the call or vice versa.

@ enmatok
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU.

But somebody replied here and said that its selfish also not to look/consider the welfare of the other person
In other words he meant your confession will only serve to TORMENT and HAUNT them forever so if you REALLY LOVE then you would spare them that heartache and everlasting torment.
What would you say to this?

No wonder I spoke about confession.  Love that gal pliz . The first love rejected her so dont do that to her pliz.Go see the doc together and hv peace of mind. People have very dark pasts that could kill you for real At least she told you. Now thats a sure TEST of your love for her.If you are able to 4give and move on then you are a real man. This is just the beginning of life issues.Theres more to come so jump this hurdle.

Doesn't Ayibo mean a 'white man'

@ apocalypse.
Now you already condemned me and said am worse lol .Anyway I get you now. And thats is the whole purpose of this thread.To show the ugly side of confessing.If you read the replies you will see there are also many men(more than women) who prefer to keep shut coz of the consequences. Now you are ALSO missing my point. so I repeat again.
Would you still confess when you know that by doing so you will not make anything better and the very thing you are trying to save by doing so will come tumbling down A nice confession well intended could be the nightmare of your life. I just feel like you are refusing to see the ugly side and choose to stick with 'clear your conscience' which is good.But it DAMAGES the other partner and things will never be the same. You can give the guy/woman heart attack by confessing then you will be in for manslaughter?? Then you know adultery is ground for divorce? so if he/she decides to divorce you? dd u save anything??
Since most men have said they can never ever view their wives in the same light again after confessing, really now what choice is there If hes the lovng and forgiving type,then why not? confess and start afresh. But if hes a beast of a man like this fellow God have mercy. I mean she should have known better nt to do it in the first place.But I needed to get into a man's mind first and most prefer that keeping shut is easier to handle than confess.
If it were me? I will pray tht i never find myself in such mess first cz seriously I would be an emotional wreck trying to figure out wht to do.
After all is said and done, its you ,your God and your partner.

me included.We are still here. 'dissecting a 'FART'

@ toaskarity. Always read btwn the lines. Dont interpret literaly. Now hw do u go about beating a habit of of somebody? impossible and thts why the smiley is there.
And no we arent hollier infact we are worse.really. I just meant you will fear inviting a 'known thief' into ur house. u get wht i mean. Infact your eyes will all the time be on her cz you 'already know' her habit.Which is not very comfortable at all.
Seriously she needs both God and Psychiatrist plus a small kick in the butt for embarrasing the guy in public.(now I dnt really mean that)

hey potato. abi ooo means what?? Am learning few naija words in this forum.Am african though not 'ayibo' lol

1.Respect God
2 Great sense of humour. ok nt the sick, lame ,annoying kind of humour
3.Personal hygiene and very very organised. This is key
4.Posess leadership abilities
5.Command respect
6.Financial/Emotional/social stability
7.Killer eyes and smile
8.Good 'normal'physique
9.Not predictable and full of suprises
10.Romantic man
11.Good fashion sense
12.No pot bellies.NO NO
13.Kind but tough too.
14.Not jealous/possesive type
15.Full of life.Not a pessimist but optimist.
16.Know how to fix himself a cup of coffee at least and toast bread.
17.Visionary
18.Should be able to make me a better person and viceversa

Most important we must be compatible.

eeeew!!! the thread stinks now.in need of fresh air.

very funny. maybe 'he' wants a female to guide him. maybe. next time poster state your gender.

FRIENDSHIP!!!!!!!!!!! Man shall not live by butt and bosoms alone but by every goodness within and outside.

Whatever Mr. Al i know is that you don't fall in love. So what tripped you then that resulted into a fall?? you GROW in love and it starts with chemistry and friendship. To the woman, trust me emotions play a big role. A man, well hes mechanical and tactical.

@ Snow. I like that 'the choice here is not for the man' Infact you just made me realise that the offender or guilty party should not have the choice. It rests with the grieved partner.

May I ask you a question snowdrops/MMM?? What would you do if you were the hubby? would you choose to keep the gay relationship or your wife? B4, you managed both.But now your busted and you love both!!Another QUAGMIRE!!!

@ snowdrops hi. If you ever come across any of my posts know they are for real. There's nothing to benefit by posting anythng fake/exagerrated u know.Really I wouldnt even bother waste my time and space here.I love the contributions coz they are things that happen in day to day life and Romance that we hate to talk about but they do.Its good to talk about the ugly stuff too so that we know how to handle them in case we find ourselves in similar situations.I bet people in the forum are mature.

lol chi. true dat.Same here. But I matured and became balanced when I discovered that pastors are human too and they even have worse problems in their relationships than ours.
Regard them yes,seek counsel yes,but not on every lil issue.Thts why God gave us brains to think alongside the counsel you get.Lets just put brains to good use.

@ tricici ,true dat.Now that makes me wonder again.Is it worse if your hubby is in relationship with another guy than if it was a lady? what is the diffrence anyway? its still cheating! okay one from behind and another front maybe. But it still is!!!

Christians (yes am gulity) must learn how to date. Dating is not taking your gal for overnight prayer meetings nor church retreats. Keep it real for christs sake.Read song of solomons and discover that God knows how to be romantic too but we fail him cz we carry the bible everywhere and speak scriptures instead of sweet talking each other. Thts why they say christian men especially are boring. It shouldnt be so.Its going overboard with spirituality and not being yourself and no wonder many christian marriages are going down the drain coz we keep it tooo spiritual till we are no good for the earth.
And pliz the pastor doesnt need to know every nitty gritty detail about your dating. You are both mature anyway. Let him counsel and officiate.

Av trully never understood why people spiritualise Marriage and Romance yet its not. If 2 christians come together and marry then their mariage is spiritual coz they are spiritual and not the insitution.I stand to be corrected but why I say that is coz everybody marries even pagans.Its an earthly institution ordained by God that has no place in heaven.
Keep real and balanced.

@ james, this is a universal situation. lady isnt even naija. But issues know no tribe. Assume shes from wherever.

. mmh mid 22?? you mean to say you are 11 years old?? or dd u mean 21 and a half? Seriously your both still very young. Build ur career now.

Okay now we have derailed.Its back to topic. I live in Pagopago.End of the world and we are cannibalistic in nature. Lets enjoy the forum discussions.

LOL LOL LOL. Am the 55th wife to the king in my village.I stay under lock and key and I have bodyguards 24/7. I am already expecting his 5th child.So sorry no chance.     .  But then even if I wasnt the king's 55th wife, then I would still not accept coz will I never leave the kitchen?? that looks like a meal which takes almost half a day to make!!!! 200 MEATS?? in the soup jeez!! unless they were baby geckos!!

I will beat the hell out of her!!!!! .But see that is hard to decide cz as natasha said its a psycho disease which I prefer to call the sin of stealing. How did she start this habit and when? those are things tht pychiatrists dig out first then they deal not with the manifestation but the root cause. I really feel sorry for the dude. Nice guy bad lady. That 'not inviting you' was meant to make you feel how disgusting that habit is.Nobody wants a thief in their house.

I dont want to derail this but that is a lot of what? is it the 'fufu'? and how many women pounded all that. If its your wife (assuming here pliz so dont lash out) then she will have big biceps after a month. Thats what I call 'HEAVY HEAVY starch.Hope you dont eat it in the afternoon at work cz you may sleep your way into comatose

@ toaskarity.I meant the lady together with her dude ie if they go ahead and get married and she doenst stop this BVH.What would you feel as a guy when everytime you visit smbody's house the cops track you down cz of your gal Its the worst embarrasment.Mob justice could be metted out on her on the streets like the case of that taxi. She needs to stop be4 they wed really