₦airaland Forum

Check this out. . . .

Ajebor starts telling story with:
Once upon a time . . . .


Ajepako starts telling story with:


You are not going to believe this . . . . . !!

oyetunji12: guy u re so captivatin i ws alrdy carid away

LOA! Exactly the point man

^^ hehehe, Na so them they catch una

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto. However, the poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her br.easts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken b.reasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
(Please scroll down)



















What were you thinking? Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!

JOKE GRADING: B3
REMARK: ALREADY SAID
REWARD: 3 NIGHTS WITH LALAABOKOKU

@NO.3
Reverse is the case, i was told.

CHYKMAN: Valiantvaliant.. Or Mr Akpos (Downloading directly from Facebook page to nairaland like say na conveyor belt!)

I held your brain in my left hand and a baloon in the other, for an hour, GUESS WHAT! The hand holding the baloon got tired first.

Hold on a minute. When they were talking Bin and Bunmi i kept quiet. But now you mention this MR AKPORS and EL GUAPO?? If nobody will admit it then fine, i will .I HAVE DONE FAR MORE WORK THAN THESE TWO ON THIS SECTION. Now somebody should nominate me before i open another account and nominate myself since it is CLEARLY allowed.

'Hi' i hope you will be 'crazily fit' by feb 14 when Tonto Dike tells you 'It's over'.

Girlfriend giving house directions to her
Boyfriend. "Come to the front gateof my
apartment where you drop me, Look for flat
9A, You'll find a lift on your right. Hit 9 with
your ELBOW. Get out of the lift you'll find my
flat on the left. Hit the doorbell with your
ELBOW & I ll get the door for you" Boyfriend
says: That seems easy but why amI hitting
buttons with my elbows? Girlfriend: "0MG!
Are you coming empty handed?" Boyfriend:
(speechless)

peterugoobi: @valiantvaliant you are right oh! I was told the same thing

was anybody told that stars were fire-flies that flew up into the sky. The same thing was even said in Lion King, please shed more light

FOLK TALES!!

stagger: Ha hahahahahaha!

Of all people, na this Ibu I go listen to? God forbid bad thing!

Ibu, you are presently living in adultery! What did the bible say about a man that divorces his wife and marries another while the wife is yet living?

'A CANDIDATE OF HELL' (who are you to judge?) GIVING ADVICE ON CHRISTIAN MATTERS! Nonsense!

'Except for Marital unfaithfulness'. To every rule there is an exception. How sure are you that that is not the case?

AMERICAN LIFESTYLE :
DAUGHTER : "Sorry Dad, I got married yesterday....for­got to inviteU.
























DAD :" U naughty.... It's Ok..But Don't forget next Time :-)

*in kukere* why was Iyanya shouting Onananana

Familiarity. Komot for road jaré. Mtsheeeeeeeeew

Eheee, Na so é suppose be. Meanwhile i have this question that has been bugging me for a while now.
Juju Football Match
INDIA VS NIGERIA: 99-1
Please, did you watch the match or heard about it?.
When I was young, this story used to be common
that India used juju to beat Nigeria 99-1.
I heard it was a well known Nigeria football player
that scored our only goal, the ball changed to a
stone and he kicked it without thinking twice.
All our players were
just seeing double, all our goalkeeper could see
each
time an Indian player played the ball at him was a
roaring lion and a ball of fire which made him to run
away from the goal post. I also heard this was why
India is banned forever from playing football.
Please, is this story true?. Did you watch the match
or
hear about it too?

Can't wait for the result.

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door.
"Stay where you are," she said."He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband
lurched into bed,a few minutes later,through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey,there are six feet in this bed.There should only be four.What's going on?"
"Nonsense," said the wife,"You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there."
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two,three, four. Damn, you're right!!!!!

Blessed are you when men impersonate you. . . .for great is your reward in heaven.

So from the above we can denote that it's when there is a faulty component in the mobile phone that the danger is posed.

I could find no subsequent reports that confirm the actual cause of death. Even if the charging cell phone was the cause of death, the incident does not mean that using a mobile phone while it is charging always represents a significant risk of electrocution. This is clearly untrue. Of course, any device that is connected to mains power is potentially unsafe if the device is faulty or is used inappropriately.
If an inherent risk of electrocutionwere present during normal battery charging, mobile phone manufacturers would ensure that customers were aware of it. They would not expose themselves to multi-million dollar legal actions byneglecting to make users aware of this potential risk. There would also be well-publicized warnings from government authorities and various consumer groups. Moreover, the media would certainly not remain silent on the issue.
When describing the incident, the message states that "after a few seconds electricity flowed into thecell phone unrestrained" and thuselectrocuted the user. Obviously, this is not what is meant to happen, and would only occur if the charging and battery system were not working as intended. An article about battery charger cubes on Howstuffworks.comexplains how such cubes transform normal household AC current down to a low voltage DC current. Thus, if the charger is working correctly, no high voltagecharge should ever reach a person using the device.
Notably, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission does not identify using a cell phone while it is being charged as an unsafe practice in its article about Cell Phone Battery Safety .
This warning may also be fuelled by numerous incidences of exploding cell phones . There havebeen a number of well-documented reports about mobile phone batteries exploding and these explosions have injured some people.

Many people are guilty of this! I guess you should stop it after reading this and please tell others about it...
A few days ago, a guy was charging his mobile phoneat home. Just at that time a call camein and he answered it with the charging Instrument still connected to the outlet.
Shortly electricity flowed into the cell phone unrestr
ained (maybe there was current fluctuation) and the young man was thrown to the floor with a heavy thud. As you can see, the phone actually exploded.
His parents rushed to the room only to find him unconscious, with a weak heartbeat and burnt fingers.He was rushed to the nearby hospital, but was pronounced dead on arrival.
Cell phones are a very useful modern invention. However, we must be aware that it can also be an instrument of death if not handled with care.
Never use the cell phone while it is hooked to the electrical outlet!
If you are charging the cell phone and a call comes in,unplug it from the charger before answering thecall.

adekiite: @valiantvaliant I came тo nairaland тo laff cos I was feeling down & џσu really succeeded. I've been reading all day both season 1 & 2. Guy, џσu too much. God bless џσu real good & put a smile on џσuя face & џσuя liƒe as џσu НªvΣ put 1 on mine. Tuale †̥ baba Oo…

Thank you very much guy, all i can say is 'Na God o'. I'll work on season 3 when am done with some pressing issues here. Thanks again!

The chick by the left looks like a man.

He is stingy, not greedy.

kobolinko39: pls my gce result is nt out do anybod av an idea how i cn get do dis screenin

you just have to present them with a result!

bin gbagbo: But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Alryt.



DONE.

I am waiting for the rest to be added!!