₦airaland Forum

valkaka: Well, everything has a positive side and a negative side to it. The positive side to it is that you attract a lot of attention, you find friends easier, you find boyfriends/girlfriends easier and people just treat you better. But the disadvantage is that people may only want to be your friend because of your looks, may only want to date you because you look hot, you don't know who's real to you and who's fake, and worse of all, people that flirt with you annoy the hell out of you.

Other guys who are less handsome will beat, rob, and/or kill you out of jealousy because your throwing yourself at their beautiful wives or girlfriends.

Well, everything has a positive side and a negative side to it. The positive side to it is that you attract a lot of attention, you find friends easier, you find boyfriends/girlfriends easier and people just treat you better. But the disadvantage is that people may only want to be your friend because of your looks, may only want to date you because you look hot, you don't know who's real to you and who's fake, and worse of all, people that flirt with you annoy the hell out of you.

How many of you have heard the song ‘Good girls like bad guys’ by DMX? I never understood the concept of that tune when I was growing up. However, certain situations that have occurred around me with time has led me to one conclusion- that the ladies really do prefer the bad boys over the good guys.

Let me give you an example in order to highlight the point of this article. One of my best friends was dating her ex for around 4 years. I wouldn’t necessarily say that her ex was a bad boy in terms of personality- it’s just that he did not treat her well and certainly did not show her the same amount of respect that she was showing to him.

They broke up recently- well he dumped her BY TEXT- and my girl was heartbroken for months; when I say heartbroken I mean the kind of heartbreak that meant she didn’t even have the energy to get out of bed and face the day- just basically secluded herself from everyone.

She tried to patch things up with him so bad, yet every time she got on the phone to him, she would face the worst kind of expletive-laden verbal abuse ever! Yet, when the guy wanted sex, he would be on the phone to her and like a fool; she would go and cater to his needs.

She recently met a nice, handsome, decent hard-working guy who she seems to really like. Yet, whenever the ex calls her, she still feels the need to answer and cater to his every whim and desire.

As a friend, I could see that she was getting played, and I think deep down she knew it herself, but I don’t understand why she found it so hard to cut loose the strings of her ex. I asked her outright why she was prepared to let such a good guy out of her grip just because of some wasteman. You know what her answer was- and I quote-: “…because I want to have fun, and I can’t do that with a good guy.”

Ladies (females) are not meant to be shared. It's either you own one or u loose one.
So why shouldn't I hold unto the one I truly love.
And any lady looking elsewhere other than the one she own is 'ASHEWO'...
Am African & I' ll live 2protect my love.
So ladies if you notice such in your man, please try to appreciate him & don't infuriate him so that he doesn't over do it.
Guys... Love your man & Love your girls.

My daily poll on CD, simple question who do you think is more likely to be single an attractive man or an attractive woman? Now to be clear when I say single I mean no romantic relationships of any kind to anyone.

No dating
No exclusive relationship
No casual sex with someone on the side

valkaka: A few times lately I have posted about a former friend whom women threw themselves at. I have stated that I do not approach women unless they behave towards me like they did towards him. Yet every time I am told I am completely wrong. How can it be wrong when it seems crystal clear?

smh Some women are blatant. Others are more subtle. And still others are too shy to say anything. And some believe men should do the approaching, so even if they're interested in you, they'll wait for you to make the move. And if you don't, they'll move on. What I think is generally true (allowing for exceptions) is that if a woman is interested enough in you, she'll find a way to run into you and start a conversation. If she's already had a conversation with you somewhere, or has observed you and likes what she sees of your personality, she'll find a way to make an encounter and convo happen.

A few times lately I have posted about a former friend whom women threw themselves at. I have stated that I do not approach women unless they behave towards me like they did towards him. Yet every time I am told I am completely wrong. How can it be wrong when it seems crystal clear?

OXYGENO1: You fools should keep on deceiving yourself in this 21st century.NKWASIAS3M KWA.

hmmmm..tot as much,you just exhibited the only thing Ghanaians are good at.Aint surprised abit..keep on hating boy whilst we keep on growing like iroko tree.No wonder your economy is flat.believe you me.......If ghanaians will just spend half of the time they used in hating Nigerians, they may just move forward by an inch in 5yrs!!

Why then do we see a lot of excitement, wearing of green apparel or whatever outfit will represent one as a true 9Ja in diaspora? We asked some Ghanaian folks what they know about Nigerians?

1. Nigerians are RICH

It is the perception of many Ghanaian that Nigerians are rich people. Many of them own big businesses here in Ghana. Businesses guys like Dangote, Globacom’s Adenuga, Silverbird Cinema’s Bruce, City Lights, Olu Luther King, in short we cannot enumerate them here. The banks, The traders, The students, and of course the 419s. They all manifest wealth in certain degrees. Nigeria has oil that has benefited few and contributed to the economy, so at least there is money in circulation.

2. Nigerians are SMART

When dealing with a Nigeria Man, you must think fast, you must become clever quickly because while you are thinking short term he is thinking future. It is difficult to calculate the brain manipulations of a Nigerian man, whatever deal he enters into, he has already won you. He will pretend to be a fool in deal but at the end you will realize how foolish you became. Nigerians believe that there is a way where you can’t see it. He will tell you, let’s go, nothing dey happen. 9Ja no dey carry last. Nigerians come from a background of fast system, where if you are dull, you will not survive. The key to success becomes thinking like a CIA, fighting like Jackie Chan, and feeling super like America.


3. Nigerians are Hardworking

A Nigerian believes that only the best or nothing, they are not lazy at all. The come from a society where competition is real. where you always reminded of another person’s success. So you must labour whether good or bad. Nigerians want to produce results. They want to show off their accomplishments and that drives them as well. Nigerians do not tolerate insults but loves jokes, so everyone avoids to me mocked by society and hence must hustle.

4. Nigerians are Aggressive

In Nigeria, or Nigerians won’t say all die be die, they will just harm you. Nigerians are not reserved, if you push a Nigerian, he won’t push back, he will punch, but if it is a Ghana man, if you push him, he will ask you a question: So you pushed me eh? Nigerians are not afraid to try, to overcome, to win, to penetrate. They will go the extra mile to achieve. They are not laid back folks. They can fight fast, make peace soon and continue. The aggressive nature of Nigerians are felt in their military, police, robbers, politicians, and civilians.

5. Nigerians are Kind

Nigerians are generous people, they can share whatever they have with others. There could be reasons for such nature. For instance if you are rich then you must take care of poor people. Also Nigeria has the highest number of Chiefs, even now it is multiplying exponentially with Nigerian Kings in diaspora distributing the title of Chief to those willing and can afford it. Nigerians also give alms for recognition and to command respect. Nigerians have the common belief that givers never lack and hence insure their security of not being in poverty by sharing to others.

6. Nigerians respect their Women

A Nigerian man will easily tell an annoying lady to visit his house and see what he kept there, referring to his wife. Nigerian men take good care of their women when it comes to material things. They adore them and want them to have the best. That respect may be hard when it comes to fidelity but as for worldly goods, A Nigerian will prefer that his wife looks best while he appears simple. A Nigerian man will not tolerate beating a woman instead will encourage you to fight your fellow man.

7. Nigerians are 419 people

It is a common notion that Nigerians are not to be trusted. That their smartness, aggressiveness, being rich is because of how they can easily scam you. They world has come to recognize and respect the 419 aspect of Nigerians. They are everywhere in the world and in every organization. However as much as we recognize the fact that 419 or Nigerian Scam is real. Google it and see massive literature on it, but not all Nigerians are 419 people. Recently we met the Marketing Manager of Vodafone Ghana, A Nigerian called Uche, she is not a 419 but will definitely be smart. You see since Nigerians are smart people, it is interesting to note that where ever they channel that energy to, pays off.

8. Nigerians love Business

A Nigerian loves money and will see to it that he makes it. He knows that it is important to lay treasures on earth when thieves come, shoot him. They have founded many businesses all over the world from scratch. There are many Nigerians even competing with Ghanaian in their local market, and they will sell things cheaper and have quick turn over. A Nigerian will always use any small space giving to him, after 5 years, He is OGA!! Nigerians are born entrepreneurs, all you need is Nigerian business partner, of course a trust worthy one and you may be safe but will make huge profit.

9. Nigerians are Funny people

Having a sense and spirit of humor a natural endowment of Nigerians. Every Nigerian is a stand up comedian where ever he is. He will entertain you, make everyone laugh and still be serious. Many Nigerians do not claim to be comedians but will easily crack your ribs when you hang out with them. This funny aspect of Nigerians are sometimes used against them by a Ghanaian who does not know or appreciate their life style. So a Nigerian will speak the way he knows how, and will be labelled as disrespectful. Nigerians now export comedy, while many comedians are back home making them laugh over everything.

10. Nigerians are Spiritual

The devotion to deity is paramount in the lives of Nigerians. Sometimes it is even difficult to understand the vocation of a Nigerian neighbour but due to his regular church attendance, loud prayer one could easily suspect him a pastor. Many Nigerian owned churches are doing well here in Ghana. Nigerian movies end up with ” To God be the Glory” appreciation.

Ghana and Nigeria relationship is unique in Africa and will always continue to develop stronger ties in aspects of human relations.

temigracie: ...My dear, if a man already have plans to leave...He ll leave..Even if a lady carries hot charcoal on her head just to please him...He ll still leave....

...Like i always say...loving and being loved is a game of luck....Its just like two people trying to make a fire....

....The level of productiveness depends on the level of commitment of both party....As for me, i cant kee myself just to please anyman...I ll be the real me...and He ll love the real me no matter what....

in as much as there is no bed of roses for any couples who re in love...nobody is saying d@ yu shud always please ur man so as to keep him..just try and be yaself,nt something else...most women think that they can mold a man to suit their *taste*......so true sacristo.

tayoxx: ask a women....jesussssssss....abeg bros correct your topic b4 I go comment

you can equally go gaga crazy for all i kia...kokonsa!!!

There he is. The man you have been waiting to meet and you two have 'fallen in love'. It's grand, it's wonderful, it's just peachy! He adores you and wants to spend every waking moment with you. The 'newness' of this relationship is fresh and exciting. You are thrilled to have finally met the man who could be in your future and he tells you that you are like a dream come true. It always starts off this way, right?

Wouldn't it be just as grand if those emotions and the 'high' of a new relationship were still there say seven years later or how about twelve years later? Male friends have told me many times that it is easier for women because we can just sit there and wait to be chased. They have told me that the right woman can get any man she desires. This is where it gets tricky however. the art of keeping a man is another story. I am going to share with you what I have learned straight from the 'mouth's of men', male friends of mine who have told me in no uncertain terms what makes a woman a 'keeper'. What makes a man stay with one woman and not the other.

As I mentioned in the beginning, things are wonderful. This man in your life adores you. He thinks you are the best and why wouldn't he? You are uniquely you. There are things about you that just happened to draw him in, your looks, your personality, how you are with others and how you are with him. All these attributes combined are what make you 'the one for him'. What goes wrong then? What happens over the course of time that changes how he feels about you? I am going to share with you what many men have told me and tips on how to keep a man once you have caught him.

The most common complaint I have heard from different men in regards to their relationships with women is this. "I don't know what happened, she just changed".

1. DON'T CHANGE.

Women who were busy just living life had a tendency to put everything onto the back burner when a man entered their life. Women who were easy going and 'FUN' to be around now morphed into these 'Drill Sargeants' who had incorporated all these rules of 'to dos' and 'don'ts' into a relationship that was carefree and even a haven to these men. Don't change who you were when you met him. I am all for self-improvment and bettering yourself to lead a successful and productive life, however that kind of change is always a good thing.

I am talking about the person you used to be when you first attracted him to you in the beginning. If you were a woman who loved to go jogging each afternoon and have a weekly night out with the girls after work, by all means don't put that aside so you can 'spend quality time with your man'. Imagine six months down the line, are you going to be the same woman he met if you gave up certain parts of yourself just to be with him? The truth is, you won't be the same person he met and fell in love with six months ago. The second highest complaint I heard from my male friends is, "She just let herself go".

2. Don't get TOO COMFORTABLE.

Do you remember when you first started to date him and sometimes it would take you a few extra minutes to straigten your hair or add makeup? Do you remember the time you took to find the perfect outfit to accentuate your legs that he goes 'ga ga' over? Well just because you have him does not mean you should throw on a pair of PJ's and eat popcorn with your feet propped up for another episode of 'Grey's Anatomy'. Ok, but if I can't be comfortable with him, if he can't love me even when I am looking my worst what is the point in being in a relationship with him?

That is a question that may pop into your mind and that is not what I am talking about. It's important as a relationship develops to be comfortable with the person you are with. Just don't forget to dress up for him on occasion. If after a few months or a year all he sees you in are sweat pants and a ponytail when you used to wear skirts and heels before, you will change his perception of you. Men are extremely visual and it does not take that much time or effort to look your best with him as much as possible. The third highest complaint I heard from my male friends is, "She acts like my mother and she is smothering me".

3. Let him be a man, let him be himself.

What does this mean? Don't mother him. Don't treat him as if he is your child. Don't belittle him or talk down to him. Let him be the man you fell in love with and please don't try to change him into something he is not. When you do these things to a man, you are communicating that you do not accept him as he is and that could have been the main reason he fell in love with you in the first place. He at one time believed you accepted him, plain and simple, as he was. If you try to curb his weekend hunting trips or poker night with the guys or whatever interests/hobbies he had long before he met you, he will feel invalidated. If you try to 'make him over' he will feel all kinds of emotions but it will no longer be love. Some men need more space than others. If a man needs more space than you are giving him, he will build up a resentment towards you. One of the greatest threats to love in a relationship is resentment.

So there it is, straight from the 'mouth's of men' a few tips on how to keep a man once you have caught him.

Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

If its rude to ask a women how old she is then shouldn't it also be rude to ask a man what he does for a living?

StealthyMe: I don't think its being intimidated per se , its more of the character of such woman earning much.

Ladies who earn higher are seen as people who would want control of the home; something men wouldnt accept..

A lady that earns higher,loves her home & wants to keep it doesn't even show that she earns higher or take financial decisions in the home without consulting her hubby.

smh

I will never be intimidated by a woman PERIOD ! A woman making more money than i do, takes nothing away from me as a person nor does it make me less of a man. It all boils down to self esteem. A man with low self esteem or an under achiever will be intimidated by such a woman.
Respect should not be based on how much the man makes and vice versa.How a man carries himself and how responsible he isin handling his business plus other factors is what matters most. A man can make all the money in this world and still be the butt of jokes/ridicule in the circle of women.

Any man who makes the assertion that "a woman that makes more money than them will not respect them as the head of the house." must re-examine themselves.

Are you intimidated by a highly payed women?

No doubt, social media like nairaland has come to stay in our lives as a powerful tool of communication and even in our personal relationships, helping minds alike to stay connected, spread information and share stories with one another.

But it is surprising how this key factor to a good relationship also can be a severe cause of bitterness and separation in relationships.



Helen, a pained housewife said; "my husband always holds his I phone and keeps checking for notifications and also plays stupid games while laying down on the bed. I am tired of doing all the house chores and taking care of our son all alone while he fondles with his phone. What can be done to change this situation?"

This married man also competes with social media for his wife’s attention: "My wife suffers from constant checking of Facebook notifications and any application pop-ups. Although she doesn’t do it during dinner or any of our discussions, it does eat away a lot of her extra time." Peter explained.

Another married woman, Peju, has something different to say: "My husband has been the most wonderful man of all time. Even in his busy schedules at work, he still finds time to put a call across or just chat in-between meetings to know how the children and I are doing throughout the day."

Now, from the above experiences, we can come to the conclusion that the social media has its negative and positive roles and effects in various relationships.

While Helen might think the emergence of new technologies and various social media networks isn’t really a nice idea, Peter obviously is a middle person who thinks of both the advantages and the disadvantages hand in hand while Peju is totally a happy person in the name of how social media has enhanced her marriage.

The truth is, it is what you make out of social media that you get from it. You cannot keep consuming precious moments meant to be shared with your loved ones,on Facebook, Twitter etc or on your phone games and expect that things are just good or everything just keeps working normally!,no…nothing will be normal! However, when you spend a considerable and aggregate amount of time necessary without over-doing it, things just work out fine.

In our everyday activities, as we try to do the public show of supposedly "doing good" on our various social media platforms, we must always bear in mind that as we are trying to impress people who really do not matter to our lives, we must always ensure that our private lives and people who really matter to our well being, have our adequate attention without feeling ignored.

If you are a lady, you must have probably asked yourself this question a trillion times.

Again, you wonder- Why can’t they just be faithful to their partners? Are they controlled by a spirit or worse still a demon? After several questions and much pondering, you resort to insults manufacturing and production- all men are dogs, donkeys, camels, demons, Old Nick, yada yada yada.

So, here are some of the reasons responsible for such promiscuous habit amongst men.

EMOTIONAL DISSATISFACTION

As women love to be appreciated and acknowledged, so do men. Only that they feel it’s unmanly to ask to be given similar attention and appreciation, hence their emotional needs get overlooked. Once an outside woman wraps him with similar appreciation and attention, his guard has effectively been let down.

IMAGINARY TROPHY AND BET

It’s often too common among men to indulge in s*sexual infidelity because at the end of their lives, they’d be awarded a conquering trophy that exists only in their Imagination. So in desperate attempt to win this trophy, they keep wrecking a girl at a time oblivious and insensitive to her emotional well being so as to get that imaginary trophy. Similarly, some men don’t mind being s*xually unfaithful so long as they win a bet made with their friend(s).

VARIETY

Variety, they say, is a spice of life; that shouldn’t however be extended to a marital setting. Most men, probably because of boredom, curiosity, or discontentment tend to want to sample other women aside their wives like it’s some scientific experiment. For such men, give them a thousand women and like Oliver Twist, they’ll still ask for more.

A PROOF OF MANHOOD

Interestingly, many men think that the more women they have s*x with, the more of a man they become. This false assumption has led to many emotional implosion of so many a lady.

OPPORTUNISTIC s*x

It’s a given that humans generally like ‘awoof’ and that includes s*x, too. Seeing that such opportunity may never arise again, all marital vows made are as good as a love poem or a presidential address on new year’s day.

A SENSE OF POWER

So, he is famous, rich handsome, hot and what nots. And he thinks the world should revolve around him which includes having extra or multiple s*xual commitments. If your complete trust is in such kind of man, continuous heartbreaks would be your loyal companion.

REVENGE

A man that effortlessly and ‘dramalessly’ forgives her wife of s*xual infidelity should be feared. Because the next newsflash in the family would be that some woman got impregnated by him and he’s earnestly warming up to breaking all kinds of record. In his mind, he’s even things up and he could use her past s*xual misadventure as an alibi to indulge in further "s*xcapades."

EXIT DOOR

Some men use s*xual infidelity to find an escape route out of a relationship. Since they figured the lady would get mad and then call it quits, they go ahead to force their way through the exit door by intentionally cheating their way out. Not even ‘efo riro’ (vegetable) or a love charm could stop such determined men.

ADDICTION

Some men are so addicted to s*x that you’d think they are under some witchcraft spell. Some may be, though. For such, that constant urge overpowers any will for resistance. Professional and spiritual help could be of serious help to such men.

Now that you know why men act the way they do (if you don’t know already as a lady), let’s know what you think. And for my men out there, here’s confession time, tell us which one(s) you are guilty of.

Shaanteel: Everybody z alwas tinkn negative dnt wori ma dia b patient u'l find jst da pafkt 1 tk kia diarie

awwww...typical advice from a lady tired of being single.

marieolae: Wow as fine as u are.. Dese guys are mad ooo

and w@s so special abt being fine...dis dayz d so called ugly gals dates the best guys even though hypothetically no gal is ugly!!

Everything on this earth has a reason and every question has an answer. Similarly women infidelity has not one but a number of reasons. Situations, husbands, boyfriends, revenge, pleasure, dissatisfaction, insecurity, and many other such reasons can get women to cheat.

1. Loneliness is one big reason
Most of the women are taken for granted. If a woman leaves her job and sits at home for her husband and her kids it is her responsibility, which is not appreciated by anyone. No word of love or appreciation makes the woman feel she is taken for granted and this taken for granted feeling created differences between a couple and gives birth to loneliness. This loneliness can create attraction and feelings for another man, leading to infidelity.

2. Physically and emotionally not satisfied
Studies have proven that comparatively to men more women fall into an extramarital affair, when not physically satisfied by their partners. The above statement means women have more tendencies of falling into an extramarital relationship, if not physically satisfied with their married life. Like a men even women made loveual desires that need to be fulfilled. And hence when a few women are not happy with the physical part of their married life they do fall into extramarital affairs.

3. Feel of excitement
Some women like thrill and excitement. If you might have notices a new relationship brings the teenage excitement back. Not just a few women but every woman wants to live in the fairytale world of love. Fairytale love is not possible when it comes to reality. Most of the women except the truth and live with it, whereas some keep hunting for the fairytale love of their life to keep the excitement on.

4. Need of love and romance
With passing years in a relationship there are a number of responsibilities that erupt. And as a couple or as family members we end up fulfilling these responsibilities. This is when the love and romance between couples die or fade away. As years pass love has to grow stronger and not fade away.

5. Crumpling of self respect
In a male dominating world, everything has to work according to the man. At such places a woman is nothing but a puppet. Day in and day out her self-respect is thrashed. In such a society the man forgets that the woman in his house is his wife, mother of his kids and an individual. The designation of an individual human being is forgotten by her husband and her kids. In such cases if she comes across a man who respects her individuality, it is natural for her to develop feelings for him.

If given the right love and respect a few women will never ever think about cheating on their boyfriends or their husbands. However if cheating is only for excitement and thrill, it is difficult to stop cheating. You can still look at the above tips and correct the flaws in your relationship. A few rectifications can enhance love and understanding between couples.

RELATIONSHIPS are by far our greatest teachers. When we are in love with someone, we always have the hope that this person could be the one we spend our lives with.

Each relationship starts off with that hope and intention, which is why when it ends, it is extremely painful.

The greatest thing about each relationship we have is that it serves as a mirror for where we need to grow. Five reasons why no relationship is a waste of time:

• The wrong relationship prepares us for the right one.: The relationships which do not stand the test of time always have a gift for us.

We can look at what didn’t work in this relationship and become clearer about how we want our next relationship to look. Once we have that image, we have grown into a new idea about what love is and can be.

• If a relationship didn’t bring us what we wanted, it did teach us what we didn’t want.: Knowing what kind of treatment we don’t want makes us very clear on the kinds of treatment we do want.

This is a great way to develop new standards by which we want to love as we are more aware of what we will accept and what we will not.

• We learn about our patterns.: We bring our old patterns into each relationship. When we start repeating patterns that create arguments, chaos, rejection or abandonment, we can use these lessons to see what we need to change and where we need to grow.

It really isn’t about changing our partners because they are not responsible for the patterns we bring into our relationships. There is nothing more valuable than going into a relationship and learning how our patterns contributed to its demise.

• Self-respect.: When we are in a relationship we can either gain self-respect or lose it depending upon how we allow ourselves to be treated. Relationships are the best places to learn where and how we need to respect ourselves.

We learn that we do not do anyone any favours by allowing ourselves to be taken advantage of. We learn what our limits are and we act upon those limits by asserting ourselves when we have been hurt.

Our relationships give us the arena to learn to act on our own behalf in an effort to step into our value.

• Grief promotes growth.: Life is a process of beginnings and endings. Whenever a relationship ends, we experience its loss. We tend to identify strongly with those we love, so when the relationship ends we have to get back to ourselves, deal with loneliness for a while and lean into those uncomfortable emotions.

When we are in pain, we are growing and this is what gets us more strongly identified as individuals. Each loss in our life is meant to bring us into a closer relationship with ourselves and where we need to mature, grow, love ourselves and become more confident.

As we take each relationship for what it is, we will see that the learning to come from each is invaluable as a mirror to learning about ourselves.

Relationships are the playground where love, self-esteem, insecurity, worth and value all get to play and help define each other.

As these states all intermingle and we combine and try out different mixtures, we soon come up with a working formula of what works best for us in relationships.

Blebleswag: So?







#leaveourgirls/womaenalone#

dat sounds guilty to me.

1. Aren't you so freaked out about turning 30? Nope! Any big birthday carries a weight with it, but life doesn't stop when you're 30. In fact, I have tons of fabulous friends who are already in their 30s and doing even more amazing things — with confidence — than they were in their 20s. Mostly I just want to be them when I grow up!

2. Don't you think you're too old for that?Grown men play video games all the time. George Bush just jumped out of a freaking plane for his 90th birthday. There's no age limit on your driver's license for going out dancing until 4 a.m., or anything really.

3. (If you're single) You'll find someone soon. They always come when you least expect it. This may sound helpful in theory, but it just comes out patronizing every time. Last time I checked, there was no law against being single if I want to be, and if I don't, you're just making me feel worse about the soul-sucking agony that is dating in your late 20s.

4. (If you have a significant other) So when are you getting married? When we're ready to. Bye.

5. (If you're married) so when are you having kids? At its most basic level, this is just a rude question, and for many people the answer will be the same as No. 4's. But for another great many people, the answer to this question could be quite emotionally loaded: infertility, a history of miscarriage you don't know about, or maybe, quite simply, they don't want children.

5. Don't you hate still living with a roommate? If I wanted to live alone, I would. The financial savings that come with a room mate are totally worth the occasional inconveniences — and for many people, it's still a financial necessity. Being in our late 20s means we're old enough not to be offended when someone just wants to sit in her room and be alone some nights. Plus, if you're lucky enough to live with a good friend, it's an amazing kind of time together that you'll never get to enjoy again.

6. By the time I was your age, I already had two kids. That's great if that's what you wanted when you were my age. But at this point in my life, I'd rather take a vacation to Australia.

7. Your generation really got screwed, huh? Yes, it did! People in their late 20s graduated into a recession with tons of debt from college. This is an unhelpful reminder that many people are not where they thought they'd be 10 years ago.

8. When do you think you're going to stop renting and buy something? When the Debt Fairy comes along and pays off my student loans.

9. Does it make you feel bad that [younger person] has what you don't? Sometimes, yes, thanks for asking! It's hard not to feel a little bit bad for myself when my Facebook news feed is literally only weddings and babies some weekends — but then I remember my cool job and my fun weekend at the beach and my dog and all the fun stuff I do have.

10. I can't believe you already have wrinkles/gray hair. Unfriended -

1.The Control Freak

For this woman, her ideal relationship is less about compatibility and compromise and more about having someone do everything she says. The only way she can be happy is if she has complete control over circumstances which ruins all opportunity for spontaneity, romantic surprises, and, you know, a man to love out of his own free will.

2.The Narcissist

She’s the girl that wants all eyes on her and when they’re not it becomes a problem. Remember Regine from Living Single? She’s the same as her. Trying to build a relationship with a Narcissist is the same as trying to live in a sandcastle. It’ll take a lot of understanding and therapy sessions to develop a concrete relationship with her.

3.The Passive-Aggressive One

The passive-aggressive woman spells danger. She is unable to tell you how she feels, so she acts out her feelings, which will surely confuse you. When she’s passive, it may seem alluring, but that passivity will eventually turn back into aggressive when she feels she isn’t getting what she wants.

4.The Wannabe

She comes across as if she has a lot going on, yet you can’t really pinpoint what or who she really is. It’s more likely that she has an ident!ty issue or is too wrapped up in the lives of celebrities that she’s lost herself along the way.

5.The Comparative One

She’s the one that compares you to either her terrible ex or her father that you will never live up to. It’ll be very hard to feel appreciated by her because whatever you do will not measure up to her standards. She can’t see you for who you are, she only sees how things can be better or how wrong they are.

6.The Complainer

Regardless of the situations she’ll find something to complain about. If you’re late, if you’re wearing blue instead of red, if it’s raining outside or sunny she will find fault in it all. It’ll be like walking on eggsh3lls around her.

7.The Emotionally Unavailable One

There is no way to build a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person.The emotionally unavailable person refuses to express themselves and are so evasive that it becomes exhausting trying to get through to them. They are good at charm, seduction and s*xual appeal, but when the relationship gets deeper they will bail or sabotage it.

8.The Attention- Seeker

She’s a bit different from the narcissist. The attention-seeker is constantly on the lookout for attention and often does things to get attention. She may be loud in public or post pictures on Instagram and Facebook more times a day than anyone can keep up with. Her attention-seeking is a symptom, sometimes, of a lack of self-esteem or she believes she won’t get attention unless she demands it.

9.The Over-an*analyzer

From the beginning, she’ll be trying to understand why you do what you do because she feels everything has a deeper meaning. The need to know why you said one word over another will be the crux of your conversations. One-word answers annoy her and that’ll tornado into a huge argument. It’ll be like chemistry class with this one.

10.The Mean One

Her lip stays poked out ready to go off on whoever. There is no explanation as to why she’s being mean or why she’s mad. There isn’t much to do here unless you want to set her off and have her unleash on you. There’s surely a way to get through to her, but only she knows that and she probably ain’t trying to reveal that.

Being a Christian isn't about making a weekly trip to church. We need to develop the character of God so others can actually see Jesus working in a practical way.

Ephesians 5:1 says that we are to be imitators of God. Unfortunately, saying it is a lot easier than actually doing it.

So many times we do things that don't reflect God at all. It's easy to get discouraged, give up on and condemn ourselves when we fall short.

Thankfully, God isn't bothered that we haven't arrived yet. He knows we're only human. He knows that we're not going to instantly, perfectly mirror Him overnight, but He does want us to continue growing.

We're not meant to live stagnant lives, never moving forward in our faith. Where's the adventure in that? We need to be able to look back on our life and see some changes taking place.

I used to be a Pharisee. I think I could have been the chief of Pharisees. I had a real religious act going on, but I wasn't really doing anything to truly “imitate” God. At some point, God led me to ask myself: “What am I doing to be more like God? Am I actually helping anybody? Am I just in this thing so God will make my life better?”

When we're in a place of questioning, that's the best place to be. It's a place of constantly striving toward being more like Christ.

As you're striving, don't fall into the trap of perfectionism and self-condemnation. We all make mistakes but the important thing is to be willing to take steps every day toward being more like God.

Prayer Starter: God, I thank You that even though You see my mistakes, You still love me and help me live a godly life. While I refuse to be discouraged by my failures, I also refuse to stay the same. I choose to follow You and imitate You more and more each day.

Once you've been cheated on, it's hard to learn to trust someone again. If you're brave enough to give love another chance after a breakup or divorce because of infidelity, how do you put your heart in someone else's hands? How much should your past experience color your new relationship? How can you let go and feel safe again with the memory of betrayal fresh in your heart and mind?

I talked with family counselor Dr. Laurie Moore for advice on navigating a new relationship after infidelity. There are some surprisingly simple ideas that can help you work through all your complicated feelings. Moore offered six tips for how to love again after cheating.

1. Learn from your past experience. It's never your fault if someone cheats on you. But you can use that experience to be more cautious in the future. Maybe we've been too open and trusting and we need to get wiser. Now maybe you'll see things and say, “Oh, I know what that is, and I can stop it now.” Dr. Moore says people who heal from infidelity will say to themselves, “What can I learn from this so I'm not carrying it around as something that hurts me forever?”

2. If you have feelings of suspicion or distrust, find out their source. Do you really have a reason to doubt your new partner's fidelity, or are you just dragging baggage from your past into your new relationship?

3. Make sure you fully get over your previous relationship. Dr. Moore says if your cheating hunch comes from “deep in your body” and “has the same flavor as that from your previous relationship,” it's most likely residual emotions from your past – not some sort of intuition that he's cheating. (OMG, light-bulb moment!) If that's the case, get some counseling or other help. And be honest with your new partner about the healing you're still doing.

4. Ask questions. On the other hand, if your qualms feel fresh and seem to come from a legitimate place, they might be related to your new relationship, Dr. Moore says. In that case, you should follow up and ask your partner some questions. Notice if you have a tendency to fill in the blanks for your partner. Find out if you're in a relationship with someone you can really trust or if you've picked another person you can't trust.

5. Look at yourself and make sure you're being truly trustworthy. Preemptive cheating is never a good idea! “People who aren't completely trustworthy tend to attract others who will synchronize with that energy,” Dr. Moore says.

6. Think about how your childhood could be influencing things. Dr. Moore says that if you find you keep falling for guys who cheat on you, it could be because of how you were “wired” growing up. “Sometimes people pick up on things from their family environment that feel familiar. They have a magnetism to that familiarity.” It seems counter-intuitive. No one goes looking for a relationship that will hurt them. But sometimes we're drawn to certain feelings even if they hurt just because they feel like something we belong to. But you don't belong to hurt.

If you're starting over with someone new, they deserve a clean slate. And you owe it to yourself to use your past experience to be more observant and wiser this time. It's a balance. But the key to making it all work (or not work, if he's a bad apple) is making sure you've healed from your past hurts. After all, if you're with someone who's true, you both deserve the best of you.

You often hear a wife complain, “My husband never listens to me.” Or a girlfriend agonize to her best mate, “My boyfriend never seems to pay any attention to what I tell him”. In fact, a woman was ranting about how she's been talking about wedding arrangements to her fiancé for months, and yet when she asked him a few questions about some detail she'd told him about earlier, he hadn't a clue what she was talking about! It left her wondering whether he had heard anything she had told him. The common grouse with women is, “Do men ever listen?”

TIP: Find out how you can make a man listen to you and be the woman he'll always be in love with.

Ladies, you may have a point there, but have you ever stopped to think why that may be the case?Some of the common reasons men don't listen to women are:

1. Women talk too much
Often women have so much to say that the pertinent facts get lost in the intricacies of the story. If a man has to listen to his girlfriend intersperse what's there for dinner, with that cute top she saw at a store, how her sister is expecting a baby and she had a rotten day at work, he's pretty unsure by the end of the saga, what exactly hit him.


2 They figure they've heard it all before
Sometimes men think there's nothing new they have to hear and automatically tune off mid-sentence. According to them, it's just old wine in a new bottle.

3. Women nag
One of the commonest complaints men have is that their partners often nag them. And since they're used to the general trend of it, they don't think there's anything different about what they're whining about.

4. They don't like to be controlled
Men feel that if they listen to a woman in terms of following her instructions, it's a sign that they are putty in her hands and that she'll take undue advantage of the situation. Once he gives in to her demands, he'll be the equivalent of a puppet on a string.

5. There are more pressing matters
If a woman is incessantly babbling in the background and a man is doing something far more important – at least to him – like watching a thrilling football match, the last thing he wants to do is turn off the television and tune in to his partner.

6. Some men just have a short attention span
Often, men cannot keep their focus on what a woman is saying for too long. They rarely have the patience to give women their listening ear for more than a certain fixed duration, which is normally about ten minutes at the most.

7. The topic is of little interest to them
And then, of course, if she insists on raving about the designer watch her boss' wife was sporting or the chandelier earrings her friend's rich boyfriend surprised her with, that's really not something a man is interested in hearing.So, if you want your man to listen to you, a few pointers in the right direction.

Keep it short. Don't meander on about every little insignificant thing, especially if you've noticed that he has no use for such frivolous details.

If you have to go into detail, make it interesting. Hold him rapt with a cute anecdote or a funny story that will grab his attention and hold him captive.

Keep pausing at suitable intervals just to ensure you have his attention. Avoid monologues and give him a chance to have his say too. Actively seek his opinion and ask him for relevant feedback, so that you know he's not just physically present while his mind is elsewhere.

Stop being predictable and nagging him about the same stuff. If he hasn't got the message by now, it's time to change your stance or get him to move his butt by trying something new.

Don't even try talking to him when he's got the television on. Eliminate all distractions, or wait till he's done with his television or newspaper, until you start having your say.

When you're talking, try and get him to maintain eye contact with you. That way, if his mind wanders, you'll know it by the glazed look in his eyes, unless of course he's perfected the art of appearing that he's listening to you with rapt attention, while he's actually miles away.

And if you want him to listen and follow through on some instructions, don't order him round. Ask him nicely, check to see if he's comprehended what you've told him, and then act as if the ultimate decision rests with him.

addempsea: I think your reasons are fallacies..

thats ur personal discretions smh!!...based on biased mindset.

Trying to understand men when it comes to cheating is like trying to solve a Chinese puzzle when you cannot read Chinese.

It is always difficult to understand why a man will cheat, especially on a very beautiful woman he has. But it happens all the time.

After speaking to several of my male friends one this topic, I have decided to share some of the reasons they gave as to why most men cheat on their beautiful partners.

If you think you are beautiful and that means your man will be faithful and glued to you alone, then you are up for the big shock. Being exceptionally beautiful does not guarantee faithfulness in the world of men.

This is why so many beautiful women such as Halle Berry have been cheated on and are so insecure in life. These women know that being physically beautiful will attract the men but then it takes more than that to keep them for yourself only.

If a man is cheating on his beautiful woman, then it is one or more of these;

She knows nothing more than looking beautiful

It is true that men love to be with beautiful women, especially those who know how to project glamour and prettiness all the time. However, men quickly get bored with looks and begin to look beyond the physical appearance.

Faithfulness hardly comes from physical attraction, emotional connection is needed to seal a deal on faithfulness.

When a woman is only good to be showcased around in beauty, men begin to look out for the important things that make up a loving relationship. For instance, a man wants to be taken care of and if a beautiful woman won’t bend over to get that done, he will surely look around for where he can find that.

Also, no matter how rich a man is, he will love to see his woman do something with her life. So if a beautiful woman has nothing important going on in her, apart from watching reality TV shows and painting nails, the man is set to look for the ‘woman inspiration’ somewhere…

She is ugly inside

There are several beautiful women out there who will give you a heart attack when they walk pass your man. Despite their beauty, these women are not able to get a man to stay faithful.

Have you ever wondered why that man who has such a beautiful partner won’t stop bothering you? You may think she is far beautiful than you and that is probably a fact. But she is ugly like hell inside.

When it comes to beauty, men are confused…One minute they want the woman who looks like a model. The one they can show around to friends and walk around holding her hands whiles every other man gets jealous. The next minute they are looking for the inside beauty, which is the calmness, kindness, support, understanding, softness and love that the not so beautiful girl they know possesses.

At this stage, they start to move back and forth between the not so beautiful woman and their beautiful partner.

The sex is not good

There are some of us women out there that know how to really rock a man’s boat. Being beautiful does not in any way mean you are a boat rocker in bed. For a woman to be able to blow the mind of a man, she must be a person who pays attention to details and responses.

If the woman is good in bed, then the man will keep coming back. No matter how beautiful a woman is, if the man is not getting the satisfaction he thinks he deserves and she is not ready to make improvements, time will catch up on her and he will sneak to get what he is missing from somewhere.

Anytime you meet a couple with one beautiful so cute and the another being just normal, do not ask how it happened, because it all happens when they enter the bedroom.

Why do you think men cheat on their beautiful women?

I know, it sounds silly—or like an already proven fact—but blame it on evolution. A new study to be published in Evolution and Human Behavior from the University of Texas–Austin explored what they called the sexual exploitability hypothesis based on the idea that for ancestral women, casual intercourse with an emotionally unattached man who you weren’t sure would stick around to raise any potential offspring was not a good move. But for men, with what seems like an unlimited number of ----- cells, wasting a few on women you have no intention of being with isn’t a big deal. Already sounds like not much has changed, but the researchers wanted to see specifically if whether any indication that a woman’s guard is lowered is a turn-on for the average man.

To explore this, they asked a large group of students (103 men and 91 women) to identify some “specific actions, cues, body postures, attitudes, and personality characteristics” that might indicate receptivity or vulnerability to advances, then they found photos displaying the 88 cues of sexual exploitability that were identified. After that, a new group of 76 male participants was presented with these images in a randomized sequence and asked what they thought of each woman’s overall attractiveness, how easy it would be to “exploit” her using a variety of tactics (everything from seduction to physical force), and her appeal to them as either a short-term or a long-term partner.

The final results were actually mixed. Physical cues of vulnerability—for instance pictures of short women or heavier ones—had no effect. These women weren’t necessarily seen as easy in bed, nor were they judged as being particularly appealing partners for either a casual fling or a lifelong marriage. On the other hand, the more psychological and contextual cues, like pictures of dimwitted or immature-seeming women—or women who looked sleepy or intoxicated—did have an effect. Men not only rated them as being easy to get in bed, they were also perceived as being more physically attractive than female peers who seemed more lucid or quick-witted. When it came to judging these women as long-term partners, it was a no-go. They lost their entire attraction when it came to their potential as a prospective girlfriend or wife. In other words, can’t turn a heaux into a housewife. Not sure why science keeps trying to prove otherwise, evolution shows it’s been that way from the very beginning.

The good thing is the researchers did a follow-up study that dove a little bit deeper into these men’s personas—we wouldn’t want to blanket all men as only thinking with their little heads. The more promiscuity-minded men (or fellas on the prowl) who happened to also be a bit deficient in the personal empathy and warmth department were the ones who were most responsive to these female “exploitability” cues. Men who weren’t only focused on getting the panties tended to miss their opportunities altogether. So the moral of the story is don’t let a man with women’s issues try to sweet talk the panties off of you when you’ve had too much to drink. But you knew that already, right?

BreezyRita: Me no get plenty buh I'm not against anybody that does...... Maybe with time, after few break ups, I will.
Till then ………
Cast your bread upon many waters....... Eccle.11:1

hmmmmm....boys ade3n!!!....we don suffer!!!...you re pretty though.