₦airaland Forum

The unthinkable thing i ever did was for me to enter an Army barrack and went straight to house 25 located at Death valley just to plug mango......






oh, sorry....i forgot it's all about ladies thread.

chatinent:
If I call you and you are owing me: “James, good day. Wetin dey happen na? Why you dey do me like this?”

Girlfriends: “babe, what's up?”

Crazy friends: “alaye/aje howfar na?”

Relatives I am older than: “Michael, how are you doing? How is your mum?”


Relatives older than me: “hello, good afternoon sir/ma... I missed your calls.”



If you call me, I don't have your number and you are waiting for me to talk first, we will breath together till thy kingdom comes!

werey...nd u want to make it in life without even knowing if the caller is ur helper....make una continue...we gather dey zoogeria, we die here.

Na man wey never see wahala go talk say sleep no sweet.

Na madman wey life don tire dey pursue married women up nd down like buhari nd UK.

Reno don check table....water don pour....wahala for muhammed the bomber.

him wan sell refurbish carton for us na

wahala for who go watch the programme....this one dey vex....SA don loot him bullon van......I pity am.

No be for SA i hear say dem loot Tinubu bullon van ni.....wahala for who dey SA now. Na news wey concern zoogeria i wan dey read now.

chat me up zero seven zero 1889 two seven one seven

Na dem dem plan pursue am, na still dem dem plan to console him.

Na man wey chop lottery ticket dey pursue woman up nd down.

Na person wey thief money dey buy one room self contain for 9m.....Abi dem go help me flourish the interior of the house ni with 24hrs power supply nd security.....anytin apart from that na audio.

AdesewaAde:
This comment gat me laughing

Abi na

Na lady wey get power dey date remote control....I moveee

MadamVanessa:
As a lady, there was a guy i was madly in love with, i gave him all the green light, dude seems not to noticed it. So i decided to take the bold step of asking him out, ofcourse he immediately said yes to me.


After few days i was so disappointed, dude dick was too short and small.., okay do it the way i want, he can't, okay darling go down on me and suck the hell out of the pussy, he can't , all he Knows was using his finger to dragged the clitoris ..that was so childish , suck the ass hole,he said nowhere... i couldn't tolerate his boring performance in bed so i called it a quit immediately.


Modified:
You lots are funny , so funny i swear. If women act like they don't like sex or enjoy it, you lots called us hypocrite, if we bare out our minds on how we feel about sex, how we want it, and how we hate boring sex, that when you confused lots start calling us hoe , olosho and all sort of demeaning names. So pathetic.


It seems most Nigerian men are not mentally sound seriously. Especially poverty stricken ones that full this forum. With this their attitudes they stupidly think i Vanessa, will attend to their dm. Una go wait tire, keep sending.

coporate olosho don talk finish.

Na person wey money dey use mobile app.

Na lecturer wey tell student to kneel down dey receive punch for office.

Na whr lagos, Osun nd Akwa ibom dey na.

This one igbo dey represent north nd vice versa so.....e don finish bdat..mean while i don know those wey go first go house already

got to the part of six childern nd i gave up.

and a bedroom inside.....abeg who wan sleep for inside plane.....taaar, my eyes open nd i must dey look where pilot dey carry me go....Well, na person wey chop belleful dey fly solo

taylor89:
Are you this stupid and daft? Like they can’t remove my sim and put on another phone? You’re really an empty garden please stop derailing my topic till brainy ones bring up an idea

Requiring my transaction password? Did you not read the part I told you they could reset my transaction pin via sms according to what the banker told me

baba calm down....there is no way USSD would tell you to reset ur password without demanding for old password. if you can't give then your old password then you have no choice than to visit the bank or call them via their phone line which will prompt some security questions.......
There is something you aren't telling us here....if thou you deal with online transaction then that's different but for someone to steal ur phone nd make transfer from it, then the person must be someone who knows you so much nd have ur password with him....might be ur GF, sis, bro or friends who you loose guarded with.

NovesaTillie:
I moved to this city because of my new job and my neighbors have been very homely and helpful to me especially the ones next flat,a young man and his wife with a kid . They have been very kind to me, sometimes when I get home late from work his wife calls me to join them for dinner and hangouts. M
My issue now is I am beginning to grow fond of the man because of how gentlemanly he treats his wife and how dotting he is of their son. He ticks all the qualities that I dream of and sometimes I just feel like inviting him over to my place when his wife is out to tempt him a little
What can I do to stop this feeling?
I don't want someone else man or to destroy a cute family

Please don't insult me. I am in a relationship though very young relationship. I'm just human admiring someone else.

idiot, wey u suppose go destory bubu home, na anoda person home u wan scatter.

FIFApresident1:
Your WhatsApp number Sir, I lives in Lagos.

zero seven zero 0ne eight eight nine two seven one seven.

Juliusmomoh:
I don't even know the right section to post this..

I lost my uncle some days ago and we put him into the mortuary. Our plan to buried him by january...

What brought about thread is that the mortuary attendant called us to take our corpse on the ground that he fight with the other corpse there.

We went there early morning yesterday to comfirm ourselves. What our eye see mouth no fit talk... E shock us.

He fought other corpse there. He even hang some on the window Attendant don beat him tire, they will still wake up in the morning and see other corpse scatterd and only him enjoying the room.

We where told maybe he's a cultist or he's in some spritual stuff before he died..

They ask us to take him away but we don't want to bury him now due to some family issues. You know.

Please exprience nairalanders, what do you suggest to do now to him?

wahala no dy ever finish o

it depends on the state u re bro.....i can link u with an ex Nigerian footballer called Sam Elijah. He is an agent now and has sent alot of player's outside. But like i said, u re gonna need to meet him one on one....u cn chat me up on WhatsApp.

Tonero5200:
Hi.

Honestly speaking am really worried, have dated my fiance for sometime now. So we finally decided to tie the knot.
She suggested we do it this year November and I concurred, so we've been saving towards it ever since.

Last 2 months I made my intentions known to her family, that I will like to marry their daughter. Due to the conversations I had With her parents, I told them I wanted it small.. because am not financialy buoyant.

But To my surprise, her dad said I shouldn't worry about it, they are going to support me ( which is most likely Normal)

(They gave me traditional rite's, which I sorted out by myself)

With the traditional right drawing close, last month I learnt from my fiancee..her parents are planning to buy 2 cow for the traditional and white wedding. (I was surprised)

The following week, the hall she choosed for the reception of the white wedding, has already been paid for by her dad which was about 500k excluding the decorations which they also took care of ( even though I opted we could have done the reception in the church)

But my fiancee told me her dad is inviting alot of well-wishers home and abroad to come celebrate with us.both his fellow staffs and all.

* I bought 2 bag of rice and groundnut oils

* We paid for the cakes

* We paid for drinks

* We sorted things out (invitation cards, pre shoot photos)

But was surprised 2 days to the traditional marriage, more expensive drinks were rolling in.

On the d day of the white wedding, I realised, they cooked more than 8 bags of rice ( coconut, jollof, banga and fried) meats were surplused.
Alot of people came from her family's, while my own families were just there.. they did get the message.

Someone even said it to my mom face. THAT THIS GIRL PAPA TRY O.

please, I don't want to sound like am a bad person or I don't know good.
Offcus I appreciate her parents efforts, but am just a little bit worried.

As a man, won't this come to haunt me in the future?

let's wait for the day u re gonna have a little misunderstanding with her then shall we know what she is worth......

Hope you haven't broken their T&C's .......bcus every betting companies hate such.

bisoye11:
So.its possible to open an airplane window and throw away cloth or unwanted items?

see this one, me wey open airplane door wave give iya suliya wey dey sell donkunu the last time i travel go bubushiga........

Set awon werey....cloth wey musa throw from airplane na im dis one wan die ontop put......Nawa o.