₦airaland Forum

Yes, I'm not homophobic.

Love is not enough for marriage, marriage is beyond romance and mushiness. Its more practical than these.........

If the sole reason you wanna marry someone is because you are insanely in love with the person and you over look some vital issues, those issues will come back and frustrates your love.

Who is a friend? I think a friend is someone you often agree with because he/she is a lot more like you. Practically, I have realised that for you to be friends with someone, there must be a part of you that's in that person. And yes, often times we fall in love with people that's entirely opposite us which brings about untold friction in that relationship. While our heads are screening "get out now before its too late!" Our hearts are saying "love conquers all, love would make everything alright, there is no perfect person out there."

Well, I have got some news for you; love doesn't make somethings alright! Rather it gets frustrated!

No matter how much you melt in his/her arms, if you guys are opposite of each in a not so good way, it might not work.

My opinion.

Ifede chidex: Pls, what of a situation where someone introduced u to d person who is not currently in d country, u guys talk only on phone, n d plan here is for d person 2 come back n do d necessary things on ur head, hw are u supposed 2 knw d person better since action speaks louder dan words

You are headed for disaster, my dear.

cool

No!

Ermm, no, muah bu Vivian can't propose to a man o! I would tell a man how much I love him but I won't propose.

I do believe in equality, but not in the way other people believe in it. I believe male and female were all created by God. God created our spirit-man which has no s...ex, so that makes us equal. I have been operating with this believe since I was born, I didn't need the ERA bill to tell me that. I also believe this spirit-man was housed in different structures; male and female for a purpose. So I believe male and female are equal but different. We are equal but our nature and roles are different because of our purpose; that's why we are created.

I'm a woman, I assume the position and roles of a woman. I won't assume the position of a man, neither would I play the roles of a man. And I assume this position not because I'm inferior or less important, but because of my purpose and function.

I was never really bullied. I didn't give anyone the chance to cos me dey ready to fight till eternity. No parents involved, me na confirmed ajekpako. We dey fight our battles dey go jare. I always had this believe that if back down to a bully today, he/she would come again tomorrow.

I still remember how a gang of boys planned to take me out in my SSS 1 cos I was a newbie and I took the 1st position from someone who thought it was his birth right. It was crazy! And they got what they wanted, mouth full. I don't even know where the guy is now.

Well, I did beat the hell outta some guys; cousins, class mates, etc and now we are all grown and we are doing well. We still joke about it sometimes tho, nothing really serious.

I think this is what happens when someone thaT has a bad publicity tries to give advice. The insults on her personality are as a result of sentiments, nothing more.

This is not the first time I'm hearing about this statement, which I think its even a figure of speech, so why is everybody crucifying her?

Dogs are special kinda animal, they are man's best friends. Unless a dog is really sick, it won't bite someone it sees as a friend. It is also protective of its friends and it is caring.

I have never seen where a dog is treated poorly before, and most dog owners spend more on these dogs more than they spend on humans.

How do you make dog your friend?
By taking care of it.
Giving it what it needs, when and how it needs it.
Paying special attention to its needs.
Making out time to play with it.
When its distressed, stroke his hair gently........ Feed him very well.
Pet it.
...Etc.
In a nutshell, treat it right. When you treat a dog right, no matter how far it strays, it would come home.
It would protect you. It would always be happy to be around you and would follow you around.

Technically, this is how you treat your man if you wanna keep him.

No relationship is the same, while some ladies don'T do so much work to keep their men, no matter how they treat the man he stays, some ladies actually put a great deal working on their relationships so that their men won't sTray.

I think this is what nicki minaj or whatever her name is meant by that statement. She didn't by any means call men dogs, literally, neither did she advocate for men to be treated poorly. She was speaking figuratively.

I'm not her fan btw, I don't even like her personality but I can't be be-clouded by sentiments.

chei! Laugh wan kill me o.

Menhh, I have really forgotten how to pamper a guy o, I was good at it. Guess, I have been a bit selfish lately. God help me.

Well, I love to be pampered all the time o. Ure nma......

You won't believe as old as I am, I still want momma to carry me, or let me handle her bosoms. *dont ask*

Then for a guy? Make we no even go that side......

I love it when a guy lifts me up while our lips are locked up.

When he is driving and lets me place my head on his shoulder.

When he allows me lay on his legs while we watch movies, with me in his t-shirt

When he gives me a sensual massage.

When he squeezes my hand in a reassuring way.

I love him when my fav song is playing and he offers to dance with me.

In fact, them plenty jare............

Abeg I'm outta here, I'm beginning to remember things which can be very dangerous to me considering the cold weather.

I bind and cast every spirit of mushiness, amen. *Picks up her bible, fighting temptation mode activated*

I'm not moved by a man's tears unless I really hurt him. Trying to manipulate me with Tears? You are sitting on a loooong thing.


My ex finds me sexier when I'm crying or mad at him, he told me that himself. I guess on many occasions he intentionally drove me crazy.

Erm....... I have not cheated in a relationship before. So I have never had to deal with the temptation.

I take my time to make sure I'm highly attracted to the person I'm dating. And once I'm with a guy, I don't find other guys attractive neither do they exist. Don't get me wrong o, I can appreciate the fact that they are cute but I won't find myself melting.

If I start noticing another guy in a sensual way, it means I'm no longer in love with the one I'm daTing and a break up is inevitable.

That's my mindset.

Cheating is a mindset. Our actions are products of our mindsets.

IMO, there is nothing fashionable about multiple piercing. Its just a hood thing, you know like mahawk, dreadlocks, tattoos, etc. And low waist jeans. Fashion wise, its not classy at all. And its applicable to both sexes.

Having said that, I wouldn't classify anybody with multiple piercing as slutty or whatnot, nah, its not. Its a personality trait. I also think our personalities are reflected in our mode of dressings and our manner of speech. A hood personality would always dress and talk hood. A hip pop personality would always dress and talk in a hip pop kinda way, while an R&B personality would always dress in an R&B kinda way.

While a hood personality might find tattoos, mahawk, dreadlocks and multiple piercing, fascinating and attractive, a conservative personality would not.

So multiple piercing is not a sign of being slutty or whatever, rather its a personality trait. Both hood and conservative personalities can be slutty if they want to be.

And yes, there is a reason hood personalities are not taken serious.

Personally, I don't find those hood things fascinating or attractive. And wouldn't be attracted to a hood personality.

.

Surrogacy is a sacrifice I know I can't make. A very dear friend whom I love asked me to be her surrogate mother, via IVF. Menh, it was a lot to take in. I couldn'T just wrap my head around the idea.

To start with, my poor mum would die of heart attack. I can't give up a child I carried in my womb for 9 months, no matter who is involved. Then how would my future husband take it? How about my career? My body nko? Would it ever be the same? NoT to think of how insanely painful the IVF is according to stories I have heard and read.

AfTer carefully considering all these, I declined. It did break her heart cos she was really hoping, it did break mine too cos I love her and I haTe to see her suffer psychologically. BuT.........................


Surrogacy is a lot, especially in this parT of the world.

byvan: Single ladies shine your eyesooo!!!!madmen don full everywhere ooooo ! ! ! God save those that are yet to make a choice.

Nwanne kpesiere anyi ekpere ike o, egwu dikwa! Ihe nke a bu gini biko nu? Everyday ona afiotu, ndi luru di n'ebe, ndi na alubeghi ana ebe.

I don use akpuru achia wash my eyes o, make e clear well well.

May God help us!


@poster: I'm not qualified to advise you but I pray you get the best advice here. I also pray God grants you the courage to implement whatever decision you take no matter how drastic. All I can say is please take care of yourself, go see a doc and get some drugs, maybe pain relieve drugs. Ndo biko inugo?

Efe abeg go and sit down somewhere, this thread is not enough to eat me up, stop saying whaT you don't know.

What are we even arguing about? Abeggy, free me jare.

Anybody that sees the way you are shouTing up and down would Think I advised op to barge into his broTher and his wife.

This is Tgirl4real's advice:

"You can't end your relationship with your brother simply cos of his wife. Just ensure you call your brother to confirm if he is around before you make your next visit.

Try as much as possible not to be rude to his wife. With time, an opportunity will present itself and you will be able to call your brother's attention to his wife's attitude.

Don't stay away from your brother please."

This is the advice I concurred with, every other thing I said on this thread was me just analysing The situation. Of course how would you see thaT? How would you not understand it upside down? WhaT would you not support? WhaT would you not say To make your poinTs look good?

JusT free me abeg....

dayokanu: Some women are just so intolerant.

Whats all the space privacy they keep going on about?

Whats a few hours of visit going to do to you

Well whatever rocks your boat.

I remember when we were in University some girls wont even allow their fellow roommate step in their corner, Someone living on upper bunk mustnt step the lower bunk

So several yrs later why have they not carried that same space, privacy away with them? The space they fought vehemently for, At least 15 people must have stayed there now

Whats in a Space that some ppl just go on and on about I remember having a bedspace then but never got to sleep on the bed because someone else gets there before me and I never for once woke him up.

Have I now died because of those little inconveniences?

My dear, some women can be wicked and selfish. Some of them don't just want the man's family around aT all. When they are coming in, They act so saintly as if they actually care for the man's family. Once they finally enter all hell would let loose. ITs something we see everyday in real life.

They forget these men were raised by family, maybe while growing up they even lived with a family, if other women maybe Tolerated Their husband staying with Them while growing up, why can't they toleraTe a common visit?

Ok, even if this guy didn't call and maybe got there, there is nothing wrong with a conversaTion like this:

Woman : Hey, you came? Welcome! But why didn't you call before coming?
Guy: I didn't occur to me. I'm sorry, iT wouldn'T happen again.
Woman: Well, you missed you brother and I'm headed out. You wanna wait? (Let's assume the guy is noT a thief)
Guy: Yes or No.

Trouble faa! It won't be a big deal.

But nah, how would it? Of what poinT it is if there is no drama? She must cease every opportunity to show him who owns the territory!

Efe, you are going back and forth for nothing, ok? I can't keep repeaTing myself neither can I say a lot of things aT a time like you, nah.

STop trying so hard to jusTify yourself, cos you are losing and I don't get what the episTle is for? You made a statement(which was silly and toTally ouT of contexT IMO) and I called you to it, and your excuse is "your were being sarcastic?"

Efe, and you are the one doing a group thing like market women yet I'm the thaT likes fighTing? Seriously?

And you just figured ouT I'm being emoTional? How did u know? Show me one statemenT that suggests so? nne eh, I don't argue like you do, I stay on course ok? If you cant argue constructively, and look aT things from a literal perspecTive? Then there is no point wasting my time.

Call o or no call, some women are plain silly Towards their in laws.

I remember whaT happened To my nexT flat neighbour. She married This guy and chased his family people away, unfortunately the man died. When The man died he now called his family people and They rejecTed The corpse for her.

Fast forward, after begging, the family accepTed the corpse but the woman couldn't atTend The funeral, she couldn'T sTep her feet into The guy's family and she didn't pay her lasT respect to her own husband. Very sad thing.........

Thank God I haven't experienced a bad SIL, even tho we have our differences. I have my own house, and all. When I visit them, I don't do That cos I'm in their neighbourhood. I do thaT cos I miss Them and I'm happy to be around them and they visit me Too. In fact, it has goT to a point ThaT whenever I come around, some on my uncles would starT shouTing(jokingly) thaT I have come To gang up with Their wives against them. You need to see us, you would think we all are actually blood sisters.

We all confide in them, when I'm confused about something I run to them, they even help me scrutinise guys, When their husbands offend me I complain to Them, etc. And their marriage 101 lectures are awesome. just are just like The elder sisters I never had.

Whenever I do geT married, I pray I have this kinda relationship with my in laws. Nothing would make me happier.

Efemena_xy: Now, now Vivi, this has got nothing to do with my home or family, does it? I'm not the one with the problem soliciting advice on an internet forum. A forum that's free for ALL to comment on. @OP requested help and I've given my views and suggestions as I see fit, so it's not your place to tell me what I should or shouldn't say here. I WILL voice out my opinions. You don't have to like them. That's fine by me.



I asked what he expected people to suggest he does to his sister-in-law. A recipe on how to do away with her? Seriously Vivi, I am disappointed you missed the intended sarcasm of that statement. You interpret sarcasm as reading out of context? eh? Pls, don't make me laugh jare. But then again, you will seeing as your argument has degenerated to an emotional one. I don't do emotional quibbles. You either come at me with hard facts or just leave it be.

I'm coming onto you wiTh hard facts, you are the one trying to dodge here. For The record? I don't do emotional argumenTs, far from iT. I'm Too independent and objectively minded for such.

So you say your misinterpretaTion about "what do I do abouT my broTher's wife" is a mere sarcasm? Hence the parT of your post I made reference To? Nah, That part of your post was ouTrightly misleading! And was Totally uncalled for! And for That you are wrong!

This guy asked for how to handle his sister in law's attitude, how to please her. He doesn't even visit them anymore buT his brother wanTs him to visiT. So how does he reconcile this 2 Things? His brother wants him, the wife doesn't. He wasn't looking for what to do to his broTher's wife. This is not rockeT science babe, its self explanaTory.

kulyie: nne biko mechionu :p be balanced in your judgements.which one be God bless yo for the matter.shooooo na wa for some ladies o.'awon iya oko' wey go dey go their married brothers house from monday to sunday because he be your brother.i no dey say make inlaw no visit but all this bumping into other peoples privacy no dey make sense.even as a spinster i dont take it lightly when people just bump into my house without calling.even my mom calls to at least infor,m me shes comming and ask me when i am at home,its common courtesy and civility.when e no be say you be illiterate mgbeke wey dey carry ghana must go bag go her inlaws house any how and any time.people should at least respect boundaries

This is so unnecessary.

But if the "mgbeke parT" and "illiterate parT" were for me, then I'd say This; kuylie I became independent before you, you are not more educaTed Than me and in no way sophisticated than me, neither are you preTtier than me. The only difference is you look for a way To jusTify your wicked acTs.

So I guess These personal atTack on my person is a poinTer, buT I'm not gonna condescend to your level.

honey86: The wife must have had a reason for not allowing the op to stay in the house while she is away. Have you given her a reason not to trust you. I have a step brother who is fond of stealing, and whenever he is home, God help you if you don't safeguard your purse and your belongings. if I have a brother in law like that God knows I won't allow him come to my house for any reason whatsoever.

That's quite understandable. But whaT if she doesn't have a reason for That? WhaT if the guy doesn't steal or whatever? WhaT jusTifies her acT?


@Efe, its understandable that you marry only your husband and his people don't visiT. ITs ok for you. Like I said families are different. But don't go abouT advising oThers to run their families like yours.

Then another thing is, so in your own understanding of English language "what do I do about my brother" means "what do I do to my brother?" Wow! And you keep talking about violence, did anyone mention violence here? Oh, I forgoT, you always add out of contexT.

@kulyie: "mischievous reasons best known to me?" I guess there are 2 Kulyies on this forum, unless someone hacked into your account and quoted Tgirl's comment, if not then suffice it To say that you don't have a mind of your own. Arguing with you is pointless.

Efe, imagine your sTaTemnT "You say the whole experience was so unfortunate for you? Really? How? Because she refused to leave you alone in the home? Or give you the keys to their home??"

Does This sound human to you? Would you lock your own brother ouTside? No matter what?

Smh

Efemena_xy: Excuse me!

What's twisted about what I've posted here on this thread? Can you kindly highlight or point that out for me?

Secondly, I think you need to look beyond your gripe with Kulyie, whatever that is and understand what she's posted here. Did she advocate 'chasing away' the inlaw away here? Or even her own?

I think you need to put on your reading glasses and re-read what's been written here - slowly. If anything, all that Kulyie's advocated for here is that it is better to spend the time and effort to build a relationship with your in-laws. Learn to acquire their trust in you by earning it. It the mature thing to do. If you can spend the time learning how to be cordial and civil with your colleagues at work, how much so an inlaw?

Not everyone chooses to go in there with guns blazing. Tell me, how does doing things your way, gra-gra-gra help the situation. You seem to have a problem with peace loving folk. If you wanna bring in your gripe from the previous thread, let's remember you were the one swearing and name calling people evil bi.tc.he.s blah...blah..blah.

Or do you have a problem with showing your inlaws some decency by calling to announce that you plan on visiting them? What's wrong with calling? Why must one drop in without any announcement whatsoever, and expect the inlaw to drop everything she's doing just to accommodate a badly behaved inlaw? huh?

If you feel fighting is the best way to make your stance clear, then good luck to you. Just don't come back here crying a few years down the line... "My inlaws hate me! How do I get rid of them?"

Efe, you are the one who needs to put on your reading glasses. Nope, that wouldn't even solve it cos I think you understand Things upside down.

Who said anyThing about fighTing? You did! JusT The way you twisTed The oTher sTory. "The title of this thread is "what do I do or how do I please my sister in law." That means the poster is even looking for a way to please the sister in law but here is your posT....

Efemena_xy: @OP, how old are you? If you don't mind my asking? Because from the highlighted bits of your post, you do come across as quite immature. If you're in your teens, then you're forgiven. But if you're in you're 20's complaining and fault-finding as you are now...

Now you need to get some things straight here. First of all, it is NOT YOUR PLACE to do anything to your brother's wife. What do you want done anyway? A step-by-step recipe on how to kill and do away with the evil witch of a sister-in-law you have??

Secondly, are you sure you aren't the same person called ControFreak, who opened up a thread a few days ago, lamenting about his brother's new wife refusing to give him extra pieces of meat in his plate of food? The same person who compared the quality, shape, texture, quantity and size of his fish/meat to the housemaid's? You sure you aren't the same person??

Anyway, as per the second highlight in your post, just as Yellowpawpaw stated, a married couple do need their space, especially a newly married couple. So of course, things will change between your brother and yourself. You're no longer his number one priority. Wifey is.

Additionally, you need to learn some manners. Simple curtsey demands that before you visit a couple / friends / your boss / etc, the least you can do is let them know in advance about your intended visit. You aren't living in the pre 90's. Haven't you got a phone to call your brother up, to let him know you intend to visit his home? Or to find out where he is, so you can meet up with him at his shop or wherever he might be? No one here is saying you shouldn't visit your brother, far from it. What you ought to do is let them know that you'll be visiting. Find out what time would be most convenient for them. You might be surprised, wifey, expecting your visit might even prepare a meal for you and some gist for your visit. That is a whole lot better than you barging in unannounced and expecting her to drop everything because "my husband's brother don come." You don't even know the nature of the appointment she had to keep, or if it's something that would benefit the family. Were you expecting her to cancel everything for you?

You say the whole experience was so unfortunate for you? Really? How? Because she refused to leave you alone in the home? Or give you the keys to their home??

Abeg, yarn another thing jare.

"Now you need to get some things straight here. First of all, it is NOT YOUR PLACE to do anything to your brother's wife. What do you want done anyway? A step-by-step recipe on how to kill and do away with the evil witch of a sister-in-law ." Does This part show you understand a thing about what you are talking abouT?

I guess you understand things upside down after all.

dayokanu: Just one question. How much do they charge for dowry in your area?

A lot.

kulyie: when the bible says love conquers all things,it wasnt for no reason.like efemena has said you cannot come with gra gra approach or its my brothers house so i can boss everyone around.e.g i dont like this fish,change it,if na me sef na attitude you go get in return.when you enter their house like once in 3months with prior notice like 2 weeks before,if you say iyawo am comming o,help me pound yam,put turkey,chicken pomo,everything you can think of,she will do even more than.but when you come with all this nonsense iya oko,na attitude and reproach you go get in return.gone are the days they do iya oko thingz o.respect is reciprocal.even if you dont like the food she prepared or you dont eat what she had,tell her in love jokingly in private o,not where the husby is.e.g sis mi,you are doing something that is paining me o.please no vex help me change this.you do things with respect,wisdom and tactics.nobody dey moved by gra gra this days.if you kniw youve inconvenienced them too much by making them spend money,give the kids two thousand wach as a means of compensating them.another thing i do when i know i have stressed them,when they are on hols,i come to their house to take them so they spend the hols with their aunty at least to relieve iyawo.shes always so happy and calls me that your younger ones are on holiday,when will you come and pick them and ill be like what will you buy for me if you want me to pick them and she'll be like oya come,i will buy high heeled peep toes and ill be like now you are talking.thats how you should develop relationships with ur brothers wives.they will be the ones calling you and even the days you dont do any house work,she wont see you as a parasite

First of all, I'm not gonna base my argument based on Efe's twisted stories ok?

So your bible says love conquers all huh? I wonder how a lady who doesn't believe in love would know how love works? Quiet funny tho.

So your own bible tells you that love should conquer your husband's family huh? Your husband family should stay away cos he married almighty kulyie, for instance. Hhehehehe, Kulyie is now religious, surprisingly!
Well, I'm not religious ok but I also know bible gave example of a good sisTer and daughter in law. Does the name Ruth ring a bell? Ruth said and I quote "do not ask me to go back or leave you, for where you go I will go, for where you sleep I will sleep, YOUR PEOPLE SHALL BE MY PEOPLE and your God shall be my God." And she said that to her mother in law. Well, I forget the bible quotaTion, sorry.
But if you Think "love conquers all things" means love asks you to chase your husband's people away, then you are a wicked woman.

One honesT question; does this your "love conquers bla bla bla" apply To your own family?

My dear, if you only visit you brother only when you go for weddings and can't afford a hotel bill, then I'm sorry you don't have a relationship with them. But in this case, the poster acTually has, his own brother wants him in his life.

As for you and Efe's twisTed version of the sTory, na una sabi that one.

kulyie: when the bible says love conquers all things,it wasnt for no reason.like efemena has said you cannot come with gra gra approach or its my brothers house so i can boss everyone around.e.g i dont like this fish,change it,if na me sef na attitude you go get in return.when you enter their house like once in 3months with prior notice like 2 weeks before,if you say iyawo am comming o,help me pound yam,put turkey,chicken pomo,everything you can think of,she will do even more than.but when you come with all this nonsense iya oko,na attitude and reproach you go get in return.gone are the days they do iya oko thingz o.respect is reciprocal.even if you dont like the food she prepared or you dont eat what she had,tell her in love jokingly in private o,not where the husby is.e.g sis mi,you are doing something that is paining me o.please no vex help me change this.you do things with respect,wisdom and tactics.nobody dey moved by gra gra this days.if you kniw youve inconvenienced them too much by making them spend money,give the kids two thousand wach as a means of compensating them.another thing i do when i know i have stressed them,when they are on hols,i come to their house to take them so they spend the hols with their aunty at least to relieve iyawo.shes always so happy and calls me that your younger ones are on holiday,when will you come and pick them and ill be like what will you buy for me if you want me to pick them and she'll be like oya come,i will buy high heeled peep toes and ill be like now you are talking.thats how you should develop relationships with ur brothers wives.they will be the ones calling you and even the days you dont do any house work,she wont see you as a parasite

First of all, I'm not gonna base my argument based on Efe's twisted stories ok?

So your bible says love conquers all huh? I wonder how a lady who doesn't believe in love would know how love works? Quiet funny tho.

So your own bible tells you that love should conquer your husband's family huh? Your husband family should stay away cos he married almighty kulyie, for instance. Hhehehehe, Kulyie is now religious, surprisingly!
Well, I'm not religious ok but I also know bible gave example of a good sisTer and daughter in law. Does the name Ruth ring a bell? Ruth said and I quote "do not ask me to go back or leave you, for where you go I will go, for where you sleep I will sleep, YOUR PEOPLE SHALL BE MY PEOPLE and your God shall be my God." And she said that to her mother in law. Well, I forget the bible quotaTion, sorry.
But if you Think "love conquers all things" means love asks you to chase your husband's people away, then you are a wicked woman.

My dear, if you only visit you brother only when you go for weddings and can't afford a hotel bill, then I'm sorry you don't have a relationship with them. But in this case, the poster acTually has, his own brother wants him in his life.

As for you and Efe's twisTed version of the sTory, na una sabi that one.

Efemena_xy: Vivi, you don start again, ni?

Abeg leave ma skirt jare. I need to start charging you for my 'stories' sef. Country haaaarrrd o!

Biko, which one be Ajinomotor? na cooking spice?

Yes o, Ajinomotor na cooking spice popularly known as "maggi white." E dey make food sweeT die but might purge you in the long run.

@Kulyie: you are quite a two faced sword. Geez!
You did this on the other thread and you are doing This now, pls take a stand and let's know where you stand.


For the facT That you have no relaTionship with your broThers doesn't mean anyone shouldn't have with theirs.

Families are differenT, as a lady, before you go in undersTand the family you are going into. Are they very close people or jusT family by name? Whichever way it is, can you cope? Don't be all preTentious when you are coming in, and when u finally come in you now become The Tigress, it doesn't work that way. If you know you can't cope with family That has a strong bond, Take a walk. Don't come in and scatTer them.

This "give us some space" is jusT a phrase orchestrated by wicked women To justify their wicked acts. Does this space only apply to you in-laws? What abouT your own family? Your friends? Does this "space" bullshhit apply to them Too? Or are they family and your husband's people communiTy?

I believe love is a contagious, if you truly love your husband, you would love his people. Cos that's what love does. If his family is imporTant to him, they would be imporTant to you, cos that's what we do for the people we love. And when a family is important to you, you would treat them righT.


As for me, I'm a family person. For me family comes first, and I guard my family jealously. If a man unreasonably wanna make me choose between my family and him? He would lose, big time.

The same thing is applicable To a man I'm dating. If you don't treaT your own family righT? I have no business with you, cos I believe a man thaT can't Treat his own family righT cannoT Treat mine righT. If you can't take care of your own mum as a man, you can't Take care of mine cos I know chariTy begins aT home.

I also have no business wiTh a man That can't gaTher his people, cos I'm a gaTherer, heck I'm a mother hen.

God forbid thaT tomorrow I starT singing "space" song, buT even if I do, it would be applied to the boTh families.

Women should stop creating problems for themselves. Stop running when no one is chasing you, stop claiming territory when no one is dragging iT with you. I mean how can you possibly enjoy this family when you are 24hours on your toes?

If you know his family values and yours are differenT, quietly take a walk!

Hey! Efe the sTory Twister! . As usual, u don add pepper and ajinomoTor.


@post, sorry I'm not qualified to comment.

I remember I said this few days ago, once some women enTer into families, they would wanna chase The husbands' people away.

This is a perfect example of an evil woman. If the guy was her own brother, would she have locked him ouTside?

And did I hear giving space? Does your husband's people visiting deprive you of your space? Or anything? Its noT as if the guy's is coming to stay. I mean whaT kinda happiness and stupid space would you as a married woman enjoy when you chase your husband's people away?


@Op; Just follow Tgirl's advice.