₦airaland Forum

lionson3:
Timi shouldn't have allowed this because at the end of the day the wife will be at the receiving end. My wife (then my fiancee) was sexually abused by a Pastor but I urged her to let it go because I couldn't stand to see my wife answering rediculous questions here and there. Today, we have forgiven the pastor and life goes on.

Let's note the following;
1. Everyone will not believe you.
2. Why now? Why not when the incident happened?
3. It wasn't wise of timi to have taken this issue to the court of social media. What does he hope to achieve by this?
4. Even if Timi's wife goes to court, for want of evidence the case will thrown out of court because judgement cannot be based on her account of what happened because it will be her word against his word even if there was a third party, it won't count. So dead on arrival.

My advise is allow this issue to rest.

^^^
You say "we have forgiven the pastor"? Are you claiming victimhood by association? At best you can only begin to imagine a tiny bit of what your wife went through. You think you can feel her pain?

Your wife may have forgiven her pastor. That was her choice to make. If indeed Dakolo was raped and she has chosen not to forgive, that's her choice to make. And what is forgiveness anyway? It is entirely possible that Dakolo has forgiven her alleged rapist (if indeed he did rape her) and she still has gone public for other reasons. Maybe to protect other vulnerable young women. Maybe her rapist is unrepentant and is still a threat to others. None of us can tell.

You claim your wife was sexually assaulted by her pastor. I would imagine you saw firsthand the trauma she went through - the confusion, fear and pain. And yet you are asking the Dakolos "why now? why not when the incident happened?" Really?

I am beginning to doubt if your story is true.

Sergioaguero:
Even if the rumour happens to be true, when will the church stop being the only army that kills her wounded soldier in the battle field??.

I thought the bible said that if a brother be overtaken in a fault, let you that is spiritual restore such a one.? Galatians 6:1-3.. On my mind.

Why do we celebrate the failure of brethren more than we celebrate their success??. When they grow, we say they are not genuine but when they fall, we say we already said it.

This post is never in defence of anybody but why are we like this? I still remember the words of David to the Israelites when the news of Saul's death came to him.

Tell it not in gath were his words. Not even in the streets of Ashkelon. He has a reason, so that the daughters of the uncircumcised will not make jest of the lords anointed.

I see so many acclaimed Christians broadcasting and concluding on the trending matter of saints that fell.

Most Christians are not going higher because they have chosen to remain on the ground, waiting for the down fall of a life God has elevated. They remain at the back to enable them maintain their backbiting position.... Too bad.(nobody on my mind)

Never conclude yet that such can't come to you until you come to a height. The difference between what one is experiencing now and those that are not experiencing it is just time.

With time we'll still see your tomorrow. Let's be our brothers keeper and not their referee who blows the whistle to inform the world of their failures.

I stand with Christ.
I stand with the word of God.
I stand with the body of Christ.

A house divided against itself can never stand.

Let he that has no sin be the first to cast stones.

^^^
I think you should do away with the parables and speak plainly.

This is nothing about the church killing its wounded soldiers - and you know it. If you have something to say to exonerate anyone then say it.

Nobody is celebrating anyone's failure. Everyone in this saga has lost something. But some have lost more - so much more than others.

Saints that fell? The downfall of a life that God has elevated?

You seem to have something against referees. They are there for a reason. Without the steady hand of a referee or an umpire, competition and contest will fall into chaos and anarchy.

The truth will make us free.

Oforleta:
Though I'm not trying to defend the pastor, or any rapist. My only problem is that most women use the word 'rape' casually. Most times, they just say it to tarnish the image of the person in question. It doesn't make sense to say somebody raped you and you kept quiet only to wake up after so many years to talk about the issue. In majority of the cases, it's usually consensual sex. Women should just stop this nonsense attitude of using the word 'rape'carelessly. Rape is a serious crime. The sad truth is that even if the pastor actually did rape her, it will be difficult to proof same in court having regards to when it happened

^^^



Read the sensible posts on this thread and learn something.

You say most women use the word "rape" casually. I say you use the word "most" casually.

Are you a researcher? Where do you get off claiming that in the "majority of the cases" (where the alleged victim goes public years after the alleged rape) its usually consensual sex? How do you know this?

mimilogistics:
attack my view and leave the company I work for. All over the world people air their views on topics of their interest.

How would u feel if your ex girlfriend or a girl u had mutual sex or one night stand with some years back when you were under youthful exuberances comes back today that you are now successful to start cooking up stories of how you raped or molested her some 20 years ago and the world persecutes you for it just because a woman accused you of rape that we cannot even prove the authenticity

My opinion is, if you get raped today, try as much as you can to raise alarm, inform your closest relatives and possibly file an official report for future reference even if u are ashamed to pursue the case at the moment.

For your info, so many women are using this rape accusation to milk men and to gain fame, most of them are abusing it; even consentual sex with their ex boyfriends in the past turns to rape after some years, it's absurd.

Pray you don't fall victim to false rape accusations.

It is beyond pleasing ladies here or trying to sound politically correct, i am being real and factual okay sir

^^^
No Sir.

I stand by my comments. I am but one person but you have lost a potential customer. I actually spent quite a bit of time trying to zero in which importer/logistics on here to use for bringing in a few household goods. I will no longer consider you. It will not make any difference to your bottom line but my point has been made.

Back to the matter.

According to you, a rape victim who keeps quiet for too long "enjoyed it, condoned it, accommodated it or overlooked it".
According to you, rape victims shouldn't wait for years before going public - if they do it means they are "trying to gain fame from their past sexual encounters".
According to you, "modern women are using their stories to gain fame, popularity and sympathy for selfish reasons".

And so on.

Take a close look at what you typed up there. How can you say these things so authoritatively? Do you know the stories of all rape victims? What experience do you have in this matter to not only generalize but to even push your ill-informed opinions as statements of fact?

I can't say for sure what actually happened between Fatoyinbo and Dakolo. I may have my suspicions - but I wasn't there - and that's why I cannot afford to make any sweeping statements until I have full information - or at least a reasonable bit. You on the other hand have rushed to judgement - and in the process you have exposed your bias and prejudice. That is what I have a problem with.

tactius:
He has probably been a guest, or had a previous account on the site

^^^
You don't know that.

Let him speak for himself.

daprinceval14:
Let’s stop crucifying d man of God... if he actually did it and she didn’t come out since, she shud av relax for God to deal wit him... we need to hear frm d man of God
Everyone has a past... who knw if he has cleared with God and has b forgive.
Pls we shud nt judge and mind wat we say concerning men of God.
Only God is qualified to judge him

^^^

Toks2008:
I'm not a woman so I don't know how it feels but one thing I know is that it is very awkward for you to be raped twice and then kept mum over it.

Sometimes we call it rape but it may not be.

Why did she not shout to attract people that he did it mode than once.

I'm a practical thinker and I'm not holding brief for fatoyinbo but I hate all these seemingly hypocrisy from many ladies who will consent to sex and latter tag it rape.

^^^


Why don't you try to learn something from this thread?

Your first eleven words explain everything.

Rape is far more widespread in our system than we acknowledge or care to admit - and the responses on this thread prove it.

Take the time and trouble to get the women closest to you to reveal their deepest and darkest secrets. The results may shock you.

Stillthebest:
Rape is bad. Anyone who engages in it is near animal.

But I just lost my respext for TIMI by just deem it to allow his wife to come out this time. For how long?
Did they just gain their feetbon the ground? How does he know if his wife is saying all the truth? Why couldn't the lady talk before now?? How many men of God have controversies brought down? Instead it makes them more popular and strongER. From TB JOSHUA, TO OYEDEPO TO SULEIMAN TO FATHER MBAKA ETC. If Busola(Timis wife) is just coming out now to talk even after many years all by trying to create a public disgust for Fatoyinbo, it makes no sense to me. Before you foolishly quote me, I don't support rape and I don't go to church. I am a humanist. But to every words out there, there are hidden unsaid others to favour the acclaimed victims. Play the victim game to gain sympathy is the rule most people use online most of the time.

^^^


I don't mean to go all biblical here (God knows I don't have the knowledge required) but your comments demonstrate why the serpent is reviled for his forked tongue.

In one breath you say rape is bad and rapists are no better than wild beasts.

In another breath you say the husband of the alleged victim has lost your respect and rape accusations have simply made "men of God stronger and more popular" (whatever that means).

Swinging both ways will only lead to your being crushed beyond repair. Resolve your inner conflicts and take a stand - and you will be happier for it.

None of us was there when this alleged rape took place. The sensible thing to do is to wait for the information to unfold before passing judgement. A rush to judgement - the kind you have engaged in - will only leave you broken in the end.

mimilogistics:
That's what westernization and civilization has brought on us all

If you get raped by any man, speak up immediately....don't waste any minute talk less of hours or days or weeks or years....speak up immediately so the issue can be dealt with immediately.

Keeping quiet for too long means you either enjoyed it, condoned it, accommodated it or overlooked it, so why wait until the person that presumably raped you becomes popular and you start to claim rape after so many years have passed

The law should put a clause to rape accusations; once you kept quiet beyond 1 month, then forget it.

At least go the Police or any law authority to file a claim the moment you were raped, don't wait till years because it is really stupid and just trying to gain fame from your past sexual encounter we cannot really prove if it was actually rape or mutual sex

Modern women of our time are using their past rape stories to gain fame, popularity and sympathy for selfish reasons best known to them, its not as if the past experience is hurting them...its all a facade, a pretence to be honest....why keep quiet for many years while waiting for the man to become rich and famous until you come out to claim rape, isn't that suspicious If Pastor Fatoyunbo was a nobody, would she has come out to say all these without an iota of respect for her husband, marriage, kids and family image???

This is my thought on this topic, not the view of the company I am working for

^^^


You have a serious problem.

And you clearly do not know the impact that your ill-thought out opinions up there will have on your business. I would expect any female (or anyone (male or female) with a shred of decency) who does business with you (or planned to do business with you) to immediately re-consider.

You clearly have no business running a business (or working for one) and your enterprise deserves to be brought to its knees. I know those whom you have insulted will rise to the occasion and take their pound of flesh.

Chithauri:
Why bring it up now after all this years. You will be surprised it was mutual content. Because ladies of nowadays every little fling they scream rape. Let the court decide if guilty or not. some of u condemning him have done worse.

^^^



Registered today, 28th June 2019. And already diving headfirst into a major controversy.

Enough said.

Toks2008:
I totally agree but let he that is without sin cast the first stone...

YES he may be guilty but let's cut him some slack n be real...HE IS HUMAN.

^^^

macello4:
dis woman is a demon, don't tink she knows dat dis is man of GOD. Allow GOD to deal with him, u are too small to talk about man of GOD in bad way.

^^^


Attention seeker.

datopaper:
What will the woman gain. The deed has been done.

We all are thieves.

Nobody holy pass

^^^



Do you really mean this or you are just trolling?

spiralwedge:
Oily, greasy dirt that accumulates on an engine can trap some heat, it can cause an engine to overheat or even run hotter than normal. Cleaning your car engine helps determine where oil or grease is coming from so that a small problem like a minor oil leak can be isolated and repaired before it becomes a big one. A lleaky valve-cover gasket for example.

In addition, because oil and grease can accelerate the wear of rubber hoses and plastic parts. And if you’re the type who likes to do some minor maintenance, such as checking the oil level or accessory belts, a clean engine means your hands and clothes are less likely to get dirty.

^^^
Well said. These reasons you listed are so true.

I clean my engine myself. First of all, I disconnect (or remove) the battery to avoid shorting out any circuits. I then fully cover the ECU, alternator, throttle body, MAF sensor? with some polyethylene or other impermeable material before I start.

I apply a mild yet good quality degreaser (I learnt the hard way after using a strange degreaser that left crusty white deposits all over the engine bay ), and then rinse off manually using water from old household cleaner spray bottles. Cheap and easy solution and it works for me. I avoid pressure washers because the jet/spray may dislodge electrical connections or fittings if the pressure is too high. I will only use a pressure or steam washer if I will be doing the work myself - no commercial washing for me.

The steam pressure washer option is by far the better option but so far I have not been able to get a steam pressure washer at a reasonable cost. Soon...

Disclaimer: it seems some cars handle engine washes better than others. I have never had a problem with cleaning my Toyota engine yet an old Honda Accord i once had always fell sick after an engine wash. I also hear that the deep plug wells of (at least some) Mercedes Benzes make it hard for water to evaporate and this causes problems after an engine wash. Peugeots are also known to develop issues after engine washes (anyway, what do you expect - cats have always hated getting wet )

thorpido:
Parents,teachers,churches and mosques should do more to build ' coping mechanisms' of young people.
People are growing too soft in their core.

^^^
You never know till you walk in a man (or woman's) shoes.

We don't know the full details yet but some reference is being made to this young woman being a rape victim. If indeed that was the case then it may explain why she chose to take her own life.

Rape and other forms of sexual assault deliver a deadly strike at the victim's sense of self worth in a way that most of us will simply not be able to comprehend.

So while it is true that life is no picnic and some people need to toughen up, we need to understand that some scars wounds never heal.

RIP Christabel.

KingOdart:
You are not Yoruba but a clear Yoruba wannabe

You are a clear Bastard and you can never be Yoruba


You sound very stupid

^^^

KingOdart:
You keep calling yourselves Christians as if Christianity is about Bigotry and hatred for people

You are ass licking the same Igbo you claimed to blast on this thread

You are a clear Bastard

Thunder fire you


Stop calling yourself Yoruba to bring shame to Yoruba on Nairaland

^^^

Tinyemeka:
I'm not taking any sides in this tribal superiority contest.

I was surprised to see Riyadh in that list, until I double-checked and saw that it had to do with air particulate pollution (consequences of climate/industrialization); not sewage pollution. And to think that you went all the way to edit the charts and skew facts to prove your unfounded allegation speaks very low of you.

I searched using same source quoted in your chart and got very different results. I'd like to see where you got that chart from please, as I stand to be corrected.

^^^

.

Amhappy:
When will this end bikonu. Sometime last year a fully loaded container fell on a keke beside my office. The rest they say is history for all occupants of the tricycle,including a woman and her baby. The baby was so crushed that if not for a piece of cloth you wouldnt know thats a human being. It took over 2hrs for a crane to finally arrive the scene. People watched them die. The scene still haunt me till today. I ask again When will this end bikonu? It's not enough to say RIP. Nigerians what can we do to prevent a future occurence?

^^^
Sadly, we are not yet ready.

When we are ready we know what to do.

OP,

Interesting outcome. Good to hear it worked out for you.

Really?

This apprentice rapper and the failed governor boxer are the best that Kogi can offer? Really?

Kogi can do better. So much better than these two.

JuanDeDios:
There are no "open and shut cases" - if there were, we'd give the police permission to execute people instead of taking them to court. If someone confesses to murder, that's an open and shut case, right? Yet the FBI has handled cases where the person that confessed turned out to be innocent - that is why in law you say it's so "on the face of it". In the matter at hand, you have to think of camera angle, hacking, etc.

^^^
I used the term "open and shut cases" to describe traffic offences captured on camera. In North America for example, traffic fines/tickets from red light cameras and automated speed enforcement systems are almost impossible to refute. Such tickets are not usually contested in court by the offender, simply because the weight of the evidence is not on his side. On a lighter note, it is quite a stretch for you to move from fining a motorist (caught on camera running a stop sign) to giving police permission to shoot people without trial. They are worlds apart.

JuanDeDios:
Even if you implement this system as suggested, the database problem would still occur - if you don't have a functional database system. In Europe, what they do, after you have ignored repeated reminders, is come to your house, open your door and pick up some property - they have a database that ensures they know your residence and the bailiff people have a master key that opens every door!

^^^
Sadly you are right about the database problem. If things were ideal here then we wouldn't even be having this conversation -- the issue is how to work around the constraints we have here and now. But one way around it is to make it mandatory to link vehicle licences to BVN - i.e. you cannot renew your vehicle licence unless you provide your BVN to link it to. This will definitely work faster than the whole "repeated service of notice to offenders and arrest for non-compliance" model. We simply don't have the logistics support to make the European model work here.

JuanDeDios:
No, you can't have courts that are outside of government - that a non-starter. It's even unnecessary. I'm sure what you have in mind is a special court, like a tribunal. But I think the appeal system would be fine although the system of fining everyone first and then refunding them would be inefficient in my view.

^^^
Yes, what I have in mind is a tribunal that is not funded through the normal channels. This tribunal should be funded through a first line charge on the state's accounts (I think quite a number of other government agencies should also be funded through a first line charge but that's a debate for another day). it may require special legislation but that shouldn't be a problem if the powers that be actually want to solve the problem.

You are right - imposing fines and then reversing them is indeed costly and inefficient. A way to minimize reckless imposition of fines would be to have the state refund all fines with interest (as well as having some form of costs awarded against government) to all motorists who win their appeals at these special courts. With this, traffic officials will take their jobs seriously. Another recommendation would be for some government funds to be placed in an escrow account from which motorists who win their appeals will be paid immediately. (Whether this will see the light of day is another matter entirely).

patrickmuf:
I am referring to the number plate of the car, it can be flagged so that wherever that number plate is seen, the driver can be arrested by law enforcement agents. That's to say, they must all have a device that keeps records (Number plate and make of the vehicle) of traffic offenders who have yet to comply. It's a rough idea that can be polished and put to good use.

^^^
OK.

We will get there someday.

stormborn28:
if your car is booked in their possession, u simply deduct it from what u are to pay

^^^
You may have a point there, actually.

I guess before anyone drops their cars with mechanics, the terms will be clearly spelled out: any traffic fines will be deducted from your pay.

stormborn28:
they must partners in insuring ur car for traffic offence if it happens with them... So your payment will be after ur car is returned to u

^^^
How will you get your mechanic to co-insure your car while it is in their possession?

Not sure what you mean about payment taking place after your car is returned to you...please explain.

patrickmuf:
I get your point, it will be difficult to implement but it is possible especially if the number plate of the car is noted. That way, the vehicle can be tracked. But we will need a more effective and digital law enforcement agency rather than what we have now. We just have to bring back some form of sanity in our system.

^^^
Good point about digital, effective law enforcement. But sadly, that doesn't seem to be a priority of government. And that's why the 'serving offenders notice' option is unlikely to succeed - at least for now.

The Alibaba option attracted my attention because it looks like it may considerably reduce the madness on our roads - and in a very short time frame too. There are few deterrents like 'government direct debit' via BVN. The problem (and it is admittedly a big one) with this proposal is potential abuse by government. And that's why I proposed special appeal courts to handle appeals by alleged offenders - courts with specialist know-how in handling video evidence etc.

I think Alibaba's plan (or at least elements of it) will work.


P.S. You mentioned tracking vehicles by number plate. Is this really possible? Picture this: My name is Abubakar Amechi Abiodun. My last known address on my vehicle documents with MVAA is c/o Lagos State civil service. But I no longer work there. I am untraceable through MVAA documents - I no longer use the phone lines I supplied on their database and I no longer reside at the address I supplied. For argument's sake, let us assume there are millions of people in Nigeria with the name Abubakar Amechi Abiodun. How can I be traced?

stormborn28:
yeah...reason y u will tell ur mechanic not to test ur car in ur absence

^^^
That may be quite hard to do in practice.

There are many people who simply don't have the time or opportunity to go to the mechanic's place or go on road testing with them. These customers simply ask the mechanic to show up to pick up their cars, fix them, do all the road testing required and return the vehicles. How do you take care of such people?

JuanDeDios:
It's a good suggestion but it can't be implemented like that. You can't deduct money from someone's account for an alleged offence - nowhere is that done. What you do is send him a ticket and he pays himself. If he doesn't, interest is added daily. Then at some point, his property is impounded.

^^^
Fair point.

But like I mentioned to another poster - service may be a problem. The CMR and Autoreg databases are full of old, invalid addresses. How will the offenders be served? Or their property be impounded for non-compliance?

It may seem unusual to punish someone (by direct debit ) for an alleged offence but what if it is clear (from the video evidence) that the offender did indeed commit? Is it necessary to send a ticket when it is an open and shut case?

The potential problem in all this is abuse of the process by government. I would propose that special courts (NOT funded by government) be set up for alleged offenders to appeal an unfair debit. If the alleged offender wins the appeal then his money and all bank charges are refunded with interest AND he is also awarded costs.

patrickmuf:
I have shared similar idea with friends, only difference is that rather than deduct the money automatically, the offender should be served with a notice to make payments of which failure to do so will have him/her arrested.

See Nigerians, instead of debating his proposed solution to the traffic problems we experience, they're talking absolute rubbish about his ambitions.

^^^
Good contribution. But serving the offender notice may be hard to do in practice.

My old work address is on my vehicle licence. I left that place years ago and haven't updated my details on autoreg. My other auto documents - roadworthiness certificate, insurance etc. also have invalid addresses. How can I be served? And I know there are hundreds of thousands of motorists in the same position.

Even if offenders are served, I can imagine most will simply ignore the notice until a big stick is wielded. And that's where things will get difficult - every day there are hundreds of thousands of traffic offences committed. At any point in time, there will no doubt be a huge backlog of new and serial traffic offenders with the number increasing exponentially. Arresting all these offenders over their failure to pay will be a logistical nightmare. There are simply not enough police/FRSC/bailiffs to do this.

P.S. Ignore those who are talking about politics. They are only interested in the problem and not the solution.

connkg:
Alibaba should also think of crediting the accounts of citizens when public utilities fail.
I wonder how many millionaires would have been made by now?
Shock absorbers, street theft, poor street lighting, environmental sanitation, lack of potable water... I'm a millionaire, set for life!

^^^
Fair point.

I understand that in some countries, municipal authorities can be sued when public utilities fail. I honestly don't know whether this has been done here. Maybe this is something our lawyers and activists can educate us on.