₦airaland Forum

Your innocent little boy or girl(perhaps 5-10 years old) comes home and says,
"mummy (or daddy) who is a gay person and what does it mean?"

What do you tell him or her?

@Beautygal

Thats exactly how my comments were meant. A compliment. 
You are obviously beautiful by name, appearance and nature. 

BTW have you checked out my Viagra jokes on this board? ( https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-40302.0.html)
They really aren't that hard(ooops  ) to understand.

Did you know that the first baby born as a result of Viagra was able to stand up straightaway?

Did you hear about the man who died after taking Viagra? It took three days before the funeral
directors could shut the coffin lid.

What about the man who got a Viagra pill stuck in his throat, he suffered from a stiff neck for days after.

And here ia another one:

A Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asks his wife if she wants some.
"How hard is it?" she asks.
"About as hard as my d**k," he replies.
To which the woman replied, "OK, then pour me some!"

@ Beautygal,

I guess telling jokes ain't your strong point as you said. But looking at your luscious lips
it doesn't take much imagination to work out what might be your strong point.

Anyway here is a joke which will hopefully get you laughing;

An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world.
After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the conclusion that the quickest and surest method would be to shoot herself through the heart. The trouble was, she wasn't certain about exactly where her heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked him. He told her that her heart was located two inches below her left nipple.

So she shot herself in the left kneecap.
     

So how long did it take for you to get it?

Congratulations!!!!!!

Where in the UK are you?
We go wash am o!!!!

Sure Lagos airport may not be as spectacular but at least it operates.
Have a read of this about the new Bangkok airport:

[b]Bangkok airport problems expose corruption
PM - Friday, 2 February , 2007 18:25:00
Reporter: Karen Percy
LISA MILLAR: Just four months after it opened, Thailand's brand new Suvarnabhumi Airport is once again a construction zone, after cracks were discovered on sections of the runways and taxiways.

Repairs are already running into the tens of millions of dollars for the tarmac alone, never mind the problems of leaking pipes, cracked tiles, and broken toilets.

While the head of the company that runs the airport has stepped down, the investigation into what went wrong is far from over.

The problems have exposed not just cracks in the runways, but a corrupt corporate culture, where bribes and dodgy contracts and construction shortcuts are the norm.

South East Asia Correspondent Karen Percy reports.

KAREN PERCY: Even before it opened in September last year, Thailand's Suvarnabhumi Airport was shrouded in controversy. Now cracks have appeared on the runways and taxiways.

While the operating company, the Airports of Thailand, say passengers are not at risk, it is conducting a number of major investigations.

Outspoken AOT board member Tortrakul Yomnak.

TORTRAKUL YOMNAK: Even we spend a lot of money into the building, supposedly to be the first class, five star airport and now we get three star airport.

KAREN PERCY: Such straight talking hasn't always been forthcoming from the company. Today it has been revealed that the AOT's President, Chotisak Asapaviriya, has stepped down citing ill health.

The pressure has been mounting on him in recent weeks as the company failed to respond to the cracks and the deepening crisis.

Mr Chotisak is keeping a low profile today, but when the ABC spoke to him in September, just before the opening, he deflected the criticisms that the airport wasn't ready.

REPORTER: The question of course, that everybody wants to know, is the airport going to be ready on September 28th?

CHOTISAK ASAPAVIRIYA: Certainly, we are ready for the 28th, for the commission of acuities.

REPORTER: But going around today, there still seems to be a lot of work that needs to be done. You are absolutely confident there will be no delay?
CHOTISAK ASAPAVIRIYA: Yeah, there will be no delay.

KAREN PERCY: As it turns out, as many feared, the opening was rushed and now the operators aren't just contending with tarmac troubles, they are dealing with broken toilets, cracked tiles and increasingly hostile travelling public.

Allegations and speculation about wrongdoing went all the way to the top of the former government, with claims that the family and friends of the former prime minister, Thaksin Shinawatra, were favoured for the numerous contracts to build the airport.

Suvarnabhumi was to have been the jewel in the crown for Mr Thaksin, who boasted that it would be the biggest and best airport in the world. That was before he was ousted by a military coup, just one week before the airport's opening.

As far back as 2005, there were reports of cracks in the runway even as the airport was still being built. Back then Mr Thaksin responded harshly to the allegations, which were reported by Bangkok Post journalist Sermsuk Kasitipradit, who lost his job over the story.

SERMSUK KASITIPRADIT: I reported on that day saying that western runway had a slight crack around 800 square metres, but during that time I have no idea. But what is happening now has confirmed that. You ask me whether I expect this, I say yes.

KAREN PERCY: Mr Sermsuk's source disappeared for a year and only resurfaced after Mr Thaksin was deposed.

REPORTER: Everyone else is blaming the former prime minister, Thaksin Shinawatra. Do you?

SERMSUK KASITIPRADIT: Well, Thaksin Shinawatra I think he was the most repressive government we ever have.

KAREN PERCY: The investigation into what's causing the runway cracks has taken on a new urgency with the management change at the Airports of Thailand.

But getting to the bottom of who's responsible for the bigger problems of bribery, dodgy contracts and building shortcuts is going to take much longer and will go to the very heart of the business culture in Thailand.

This is Karen Percy in Bangkok reporting for PM. [/b]

The latest I hear is that due to the problems it has had to close down and the old one re-opened.

Only the AIT can tell you how long it will be before a hearing date is set.
Have you tried contacting them? Furthermore, is what you are talking
about the original appeal or a review of the appeal decision.

@Nike 4luv,

U didn't answer the question.

@Weev

I am afraid it is. Lagos in Portugal is beautiful, a top holiday destination.
Lots of sun , sea and .

Nike4luv

Is it true what they say about Welsh-Nigerian girls?

Iam 30 yr old beautiful lady

Before I give you my candid advice do you think you can post your picture so your
above statement can be verified.

exotique:
Was that a typo or you are really,really this daft?
What on earth is the correlation between a tailor and a producer.
Obviously,you're an alien.
If I didn't know about something would I have contributed to it in the first place?
As a matter of fact u're the one with the absurd reasoning.
VOR, I can imagine the etymology.

@Exotique

First off, there is no need for you to resort to abuse to get your point across.

Secondly, no one , including yourself is immune from making the odd typographical error.

Thirdly, the relationship between a tailor and producer? Well in this case I was merely
using an analogy for the purposes of illustration. Obviously, the complexity of it has gone over your head.
Try re-reading it again, slowly this time. If you still don't understand it then come back to me and I will attempt
to explain it on a simple person's level.

Lovely location (are u Gambian?) pity about the team!!!!

@Blue

U ignore Zulu and flirt with me all you like. You hear?

I know this is off topic.
But Blue that is lagos in PORTUGAL.
There is no Mushin dia to bring back memories
for you o.

Damn you sure have some sexy lips. Imagine if,

Anyone in the UK looking to get on the property ladder or re-mortgae may
be interested in the WHICH consumer magazine FREE guide. To get your
copy FOC all you have to do is call 0800 533 001 and quote the reference
PROPERTY3.

@ Exotique,

You are talking twaddle.

By your logic unless we know about something we have no right to hold
an opinion or criticise someone or something. To show how absurd your reasoning is:

Suppose I went to a tailor to have a suit sawn but he produced a load of rubbish, you know
trousers too tight, no zip, buttons fall off etc.Are you saying I shouldn't criticise him because I don't
know how to sew myself?

@ Hot-angel

I can only imagine what you might be sucking now.

The laws In Singapore are very strict but clear, you attempt to smuggle drugs you will face death.
He must have known this before unertaking to smuggle.

Having said that ,he was only 18 at the time of his crime and I wish the Singapore authorities
could have shown some compassion and mercy.I don't feel however we should blame the Nigerian
govt. for not flying the family to him. Afterall he was a convicted criminal. But it is totally sad none the
less.

BTW Mamaput,

I love the look of your pussy.

@Funky

Thanks very much for the link.

I found the determination by the AIT most enlightening.

Hi Lady T,

Does Croydon grab u as a place to live?

LadyT:
In an ideal world I would like three bedrooms at least if not four I like old houses hate the new bulids they are very weak! But at this stage we can't afford that. So some suggested we buy something small and rent it out to help pay for the mortgage and help fiance the buying of a bigger property!

And what is your budget?

In Croydon 3 beds start from around the £230k mark, less if you are prepared to do work to bring it up to scratch.

Another piece of advice I would give a first time buyer is when taking out your mortgage take a fixed interest rate deal.
It helps you to budget and provides you with the security of knowing that no matter how high interest rates rise you
will not be affected.

However, at the moment because rates are on the rise it is difficult to get a cheap one. For example the best two year deal
is about 4.95% and will cost you somewhere in the region of £1500 to arrange. When you take this arrangement fee into account
the overall cost will actually be in excess of 5.00%.

Since I bought my house I have for the majority of the time been on fixed rate deals. The last one I took out was for three years
just last year and it is fixed till 2009 at 4.64%. Hopefully by 2009 interest rates will be low and I can get into another favourable rate.

BTW I live in Croydon.

Lady T what in the way of property are you looking for?

LadyT:
Problem is rent is almost the same as paying a mortgage, so you might as well buy

Absolutely Lady T, I live in a four bedroom house which I bought in 1994.
My mortgage is £390p.m + £93:00pm endowment + £15:00 insurance pm.

Certainly in the beginning it is tough but in the long run it will be worth it.

ThiefOfHearts:
Lmao another thing to add to my list of idiot rules.

I actually thought VOR was being sarcastic

Thief

I can't believe in this day and age such rules would be in force.
That blood sample rule is surely in breach of a person's human rights.
Madness if you ask me.

And if they had AIDS nko/
Dem go withold the degree or wetin?

Gamine:
@VOR
They just asked them to hav a blood test, thats all.

OOh eyyah 'ThiefofHearts' i really feel for u

Angry Pugar!

@Gamine

But why? There must have been a reason for it.
What has a blood test got to do with getting a degree?
Suppose you refused to have the test, would you be sanctioned or what?

Just a couple of things.

First off to Awolumate, as you are not an EU national and do not propose to buy the property with cash,
you may well have problems raising a UK mortgage. The banks expect to see a financial history, e.g work record,
where you have lived for the past three years. Even if you do obtain a mortgage there are lots of other things you will
have to take into account that may eat into your profits. For example, you may be liable to income tax, will you be letting out the property yourself or handing it over to an agent? If the latter then have you factored agent's fees into your overall costs? In addition
when letting there may be periods when you have no tenants, how will you cover the costs of your mortgage in such an eventuality?

To Lady T

The longer you put off buying a property the more difficult and expensive it becomes. You just have to bite the bullet at some point.
My advice to you when buying is
[list]

[/list]buy a house and not a flat if at all possible. Trust me you will not regret it. 
.Don't necessarily stick to an area you are familiar with, cast your net far and wide. So easy to do with the internet.
. Look to buy outside London, the suburbs. You get more for your money and I know transport may be a headache but you will cope.
. A friend of  mine moved from London to Swindon to pick up a very lovely property, he hasn't regretted it.
.If you don't want to renovate then look for new build properties. But remember such properties are often little bigger than shoe boxes,
  older properties have larger rooms.
. Always look at the property with an eye to the future. EG If we have kids where will they eat, is there room for a dining table, does the   property   have outside space for them to play etc?

Anyway good luck.

lordmayor1:
I have sent e-mails to the BHC in lagos,and i don't seem to be getting any reply.
Are there any Nairaland user's facing the same problem?
And how long has your application taken if so.

thanks

Have you tried ringing them?

Since nobody here works in the BHC (or at least I don't think so)
it would be virtually impossible to say with any certainty what has
happened to your application.

I think the best -and in my view -most logical thing for you to do is
to contact the BHC to find out the reason for the delay.

Can someone in the know confirm or refute for me the allegation that last year before graduation from Convenant, graduates had to give blood. i.e they had to provide a blood sample.

If true I find it absolutely shocking. What was the reason for this?
Is the VC a vampire?