₦airaland Forum

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pls guys dont take any of the generalisations personally thats wat they are generalisations dont attack the person above for quoting wat[b] they heard[/b]
at the end of the day no person can fully proove any of all this cos noone has dated every single person from even just one tribe so lets here wat u got.
@tngtech
on the contrary i actually think its ibo men that stick to thier kind how does the saying go again??
for every emeka there is a chidinma!

by the wayhow true is the calabar and sex thing? i actually recently heard that some moms teach thier gurls how to pleasure thier husbands before the get married!

ive heard many stereotypical talks about tribes in nigeria, which onese are good an which ones are bad.
yorba men just want to marry as many as possible,
urhobo men are wife beaters,
but ive heard ibo men are the best. they love you unconditionally and even if they marry another they alwys treat you well
calabar girls are very good in bed
yoruba women are materialistic
itsekiri women are promisous
ibo gurls like money

so i need to know wats your opininon?
regarding all the men and women uve met, stories youve heard, and presnt lovers how do they really portray all this?
WHICH TRIBE IS THE BEST FOR YOU? AND Y?

that beast that gold digger i wish i had learnt from the mistakes of the girl before me she ran with heart crack i barely escaped with heart break and the last girl left with a shattered herat and nude piks on the net!!!!!!!!! whew that was a close shave. .

anytime. . . gud luck

dear jugz,
pls dont listen to all these nairalanders talking abt blackmail, telling your father, and all that. PLEASE DONT DO IT!

here are the facts:
she might not necessarily be cheating yet she might just be approaching it.
she might not necessarily be cheating a supposedto hiding something else or trying to cover up something you and ure sis dont know about.
even if she is of course shes a woman and maybe she cant cope with the fact that her husband comes home only once a month ( i know she is not justified)

there are many things that can be going on the main fact is that you dont know. so your aim is too be sure before you act.
you already told your sis is she jnr or senior? if she senior i guess thats ok because she might be able to handle it. but if shes jnr i dont think that was such a good move as she might have doubts about her mother which mostly leads to disrespect. (although it depends on her age)
what you want to do is avoid any kind of huge family problem, blackmail, disrespect all those nigerian movie things its never worth it.

what u need to do is talk to your mom one on one or your sister instead. not you two together it may be like ure ganging up on her and shell have to play the mom card: shell deny and attack you for en tryin to confront her. it may lead to a breach in ure relationship.

an ambiguos question like mom, please i need to know what is going on or
is there anything you want to tell me involving you and uncle bla bla.
you may further proceed to ask exactly how u guys are related to him (in a very unsuspicious manner) but if you cant just confront her like that you may want to hint it to her that you know thre is somethng going on between them, and u know it is not your place to jude or condemn her but also that you see the future implications of her actions and it will do her well to see them too. if nothing or nothing serious is going on this might shame her into giving up the whole thing.

be mature - handle it quietly
be gentle- dont attck or use hurtful words
be accomodating- leave room for explanations
be understanding - show how much you care and leave a shoulder to cry on but be firm about you stand on the issue.

whatever you do dont tell your dad because you love him and it will only affect you in the longrun if you do. it might break up ure family and lead to disrespect of your father to your mother even in front of outsiders or you the children.
this ALWYS LEADS TO A DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY.
P.S U CAN WARN THE GUY BEHIND YOUR MOMS BACK IF YOU THINK YOUR MOM IS TOO WEAK TO BACK OUT HERSELF. (not in public)

FIRST OF ALL I WOULD LIKE TO COMMEND UE GRAMMAR SUCH A LONG TEXT BUT NO SILLY ABBREVIATIONS OR GRAMATICAL MISTAKES.
secndly u deserve better, from what ican tell ure patient and understanding . . . the best is yet to come.
thirdly im sure u can admit to urself that it wasnt such a surprise, afterall it was going on for such a long time you must have seen it coming.
finally cheer up u seem nice good things come to those who wait. forget her there are other fish in the sea. E GO BETTER

@ 4him

pls how dyu figure the white gurl is better? because of wat she sacrificed? afterall she gave everything with her own free will!!
just because she did that it means her love is purer? becuse she threw money into the equation?

the person in question diddnt state but did he ever mention the nigerian girl was only interested in money for herself and her family? did he ever mention the white gurl loved him more than the naiga girl? of course the white girl did a lot but how do u know if it wasnt the other way round the naija girl wouldnt have done the same? he never condemned her so u cant either.


money comes money goes but time can never go back! of course not findin another person is not an ideal reason for marriage YES. but dont u think she herself has sacrificed as well? time?? waiting for one person trying to be hopefull everday even though you dont know what the person is doing at the time? do you know how much courage and patience that takes?

If he came back the way he left she would have still embraced him with open arms as she loved him even before he had anything!
after patiently waiting her 'FIANCE' has returned with a little somthing cant she as well REAP were she has sown?

this is a difficult decison obviously and i gave my suggestion on who he should pick but none of the ladies are at fault. how can u be so quick to condemn the naija gilr and brand her a gold digger??

my broder nuthing dey oh. Obviously ur wife diddnt think u wer a virgin wen u met her so she cant say she didnt expect u 2 have past "luvs". so wat if its her cousin? these things happen. ure downfALL WILL BE TO HIDE IT FROM HER and shell find out thru corner corner. then she will ask u why u hid. this will bring up accusations that you still have feelings for her cousin. if u tell her it will be like 'oh back then so what.' but if u hide it shell think theres more to the story.

THERES NO NEED TO HIDE. ITS NOT A BIG DEAL AND URE WIFE SHOULDNT GET VEXED WITH IT. afterall what if it had been her that u dated before and then married her cozin was it her fault? no! so tell her. dont act like u have to make it up to her or u have wronged her SINCE SHES SHORT TEMPERED AND SHELL JUST TAKE ADVANTAGE OF URE GUILT AT THE TIME.

actually i dnt think this was worth cuming to nairaland its that simple. gud luck!!

@ jassie but he is a gold digger!

my dear let me break to you. there is not honest way you can resolve this. you cant leave the naija gurl seh might never find enybody else. lets face the older the harder it isto get a husband. asfor the whitie she will kill u. she will never trust another african man ever again.

you are caught in between. GAIN THER I SNO HONEST WAY TO RESOLVE THIS.

you can leave both of them: that wont chnage anything cos they will still both be hurt.

you can move back to naija and marry the niaja girl. when u marry her you can chnge the way she is afterall when people get maried they tend to calm down a bit. the whute gurl will never forgive you so dont bother begging cut her off completely and all her family and frnds too. she wont come to naija wats the worst she can do? its not like you have any real strings attached.

you can marry the whte one and hurt the one you have stringed on for so long specially leaving her with half the chances of the white gurl if it was the othr way around. also you have family ties you cant run away that easily werever you turn she will be there. the worst she can do is place a curse on you. you know its africa THAT CURES MUST WORK!

my suggestion:
MARRY THE NAIJA GURL she has been waiting too long. your families have already met each other. you have already promised marriage. you owe here more than just money.
but how do u discharge the white gurl? tell here you have been forced into marriage by your culture and family. and that your parents have threatened to disown u. that way you spare her feelings. she will be hurt but not as much as yiou saying u had a fiancee since.

i know my advice is dishonest but lets face it nobody here is righteous,
naralanders can be hypocrites and and we all know there is no honest way to resolve this. at least he was my frien dthat is what i will advice there is no bright side to look up too.
OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO GO TO CHURCH AND PRY FOR FORGIVENESS AFTER.

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excuse me?? is the entitre nairaland going crazyyyyyyyyyyy? who the hell says the onlt thing wrong is the african point of view?
biologically it is ok so?
religously it is wrong.
morally it is wrong
technically he is your brother so technically it is wrong!!!
wat th hell are ther no other boys out there? please nairalanders dont try to cushion the blow or sweet talk here. it is frowned upon in africa yes but it is morrally wrong. that is unheard of.

take a minute to think about it pls. you are in love with your step brother DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE TO YOU? even if your parents cant bear any children that is now an excuse? so u have feelings for each other what next? will u get married? have kids? what will they be to both of you? brother? sister? son? what will they be to your parents? grandchildren or children? you and your mother will now share the same surname?

all that aside it is religously wrong. let me ask you a question did your parents marry in a church? if they are you are related in the eyes of God! (aside the fact that we are all children of God of course). if not you are related in the eyes of the law!!! if the physical elements dont matter to you how about your parents wedding vows.

PLEASE IT IS WRONG. DONT NIGERIANS HAVE ANY MORALS ANYMORE If u can do that you might as well get married to your step father as well since you are not related eniways! not trying to be stereotypical but we individuals should know were to draw the line. afterall if its not a big deal why is she asking? because she already knows!!!