₦airaland Forum

Boredasf:
alot of my friends always complain of how their wife changed after marriage.
One called me yesterday complaining bitterly of how his soft and cool headed girlfriend suddenly changed after he married her;the guy is even contemplating divorce sef but the lady don get bele

It seems women treat men well during courtship than when married.

Women don't treat men well during courtship. They only pretend to be nice just to get the ring, and afterwards, they will reveal their true self.

I don't blame them though. With men always looking for 'wife material', while they're far from being 'husband material' proves that two can play the game.

anslem04:
Apparently OP husband has no reason to think like men on forbes list, a name without continuity is as lifeless as "Remembrance" denotes. when these men are long gone "who will represent "gates" "bryant" "obama 50yrs time lemme guest daugthers with another man last names, obama becums other names, sebi you fill jamb form.
LOL ! see mumu, i expect to see names of women that had there father's name behind their husband's name, dangote, jonathan, atiku, buhari daughters are married .. google there last name as mrs, hyphenate my burnt ass.
A life without representation is as inanimate as the word " remembrance" every man needs a heir to keep his line. name is - line + , one will alway bring life without d other put a tester on it
Should we also be aware of feminist, the real ones dress to work like men tho! many are hideous lesbians

What exactly are you blabbing about? If a 'name' is that important to you, prepare a special casket for it, so it can accompany you to the great beyond.

'Jesus Christ' had no heir to inherit his name, but his name still resonates. Why? Because he left a legacy. Strive to do the same, and stop losing sleep over something as inconsequential as a name.

wisdomiskey:
This has nothing to do with "African traditions"..

It is a Global phenomenon that most families prefer male children to female.

For example, look at what happened in China during their one child policy - many girl children were aborted and killed until the parents finally produced a male child (who they believe to be more honourable and valuable). As a result, modern day China is filled with men (that grew up the only child of their parents) now suffering from a scarcity of women to marry.

And you had to mention China of all countries. When it comes to some bizarre traditions and female discrimination, Asian countries are at par with Africa. So, using China to buttress your point doesn't hold sway.

When Americans and other European countries tow the path, then you can refer to it as a global phenomenon. As for now, consider it a warped mentality which is still trending cos some people have refused to become mentally civilized.

You guys seem like the petty type (your mom inclusive). I guess this is what plays out when your would be mother in-law is your next door neighbour. Let the poor girl be, and stop making a mountain out of a mole hill!

light099:
[s][/s]


Can you imagine.
A statement from someone who obviously doesn't know more than Frogiddo and Wizkid.

Music in the past was the real deal, very meaningful set of songs. Not all the shiit we listen to today, only beats, no sense.

Don't pay attention to him, he must have been born in the 20's...

Bongos Ikwue is highly underrated. His songs gives me goose pimples whenever I listen to them.

Oh Maryam...
My darling Maryam...
Maryam army woman, I'll forever be your man.

Met Maryama in a dance...
Then I took a chance...
We started a good conversation..
And afterwards the sensation.

And for the doubting Thomases, he actually dated Maryam, and was so in love with her that the love lingered even after she got married to IBB. I have an aunt who dated Maryam's elder brother at that time, and she confirmed the story.

Ayhomes:
What you sow is what you will reap...
Ibo/Biafrans always claiming victims, but some times they are the aggressor.
This is Adaka Boro....
On February 23, 1966, he formed the Niger Delta Volunteer force ( NDVF ) an Armed militia and declared the Niger Delta Republic.
They want to be part of Nigeria again.
He was just 27 years old.
But Igbo president said NO" they must remain in Nigeria.
Adaka Boro and his group fought the federal forces for twelve days before they were defeated.
Igbo president ( Aguyi Ironsi ) sentenced Adaka Boro to death.
Why Because Adaka Boro declared Niger Delta Republic.
Today , Biafrans are crying they want freedom!!
They blame every tribes in South for their misfortune.
South-south is not Biafra....
South-south can never be Biafra.
RIP THE GREAT ADAKA BORO

Boro was sentenced to death, but was later pardoned. Your write up made it look like the death sentence was actually carried out.

The kind of scary and disgusting tales we hear these days are so disappointing. I had a cousin who raped two of his sisters, and was even willing to love-vendor out one of them to his fellow cult guys.

The last I heard of him was that he relocated to another town to continue his life of thuggery. What a world!

Rogosa:
Hi everyone,
I have been having issue with this for a while. I don't know if it is proper to call your wife's elder sister "Aunty" or "Sister so and so" even though you are much older than her.
Can one call such by her name without putting the respective adjective or suffix?

Mature mind pls.

I could recall when a kid called my sister by her first name. My sister snapped and said, "why did you call me by my name"? The kid responded in pidgin saying, "no be your name"?

This made me wonder why people on this continent attach so much importance to a frivolity as 'addressing someone by their first names'.

The truth is, there is nothing wrong if you address her by her first name. But if you don't feel comfortable about it, then suit yourself with what you deem fit.

KelB:
In situation whereby your biological son got your biological daughter pregnant, What will be the solution Been the parent of those children..Matured mind please,Mods please push this to front page,very urgent

The most reasonable step to take first is to terminate the pregnancy. Then try to find out how deep the relationship between the siblings are. Are they into each other, or was it just a display of unrestrained youthful exuberance?

Either way, have a nice long talk with them and engage the expertise of an experienced 'behavioral psychologist' and 'hypnotist',whose goal is to work on their psyche so as to break that 'romantic bond' which exists between them.

Whatever happens, don't try to separate them until they might have received some sort of psychological support from their parents. In life, some things can't be undone, but one should try to prevent a reoccurrence.

slyfox35:
Thanks for this,my thoughts exactly, but I do not know how to tell him to back off,should I remind of him of what he did?

You shouldn't have even picked his calls. Overtime, I have learnt not to have anything to do with people who wreaks of 'negative energy'. Send him a text to inform him that you can't accommodate him cos it will be of inconvenience to you.

If he is smart, he will get the message and stop bothering you. But if he insists, pay no attention to him cos you owe him nothing.

Edusteve:
I just don't understand, over 20 accounts open all on hold what is wrong? Both nord and turbo VPN use. Chrome, opera, rocker and instance browser use too.
Oga honestly I'm tired inasmuch as I don't want to give up trying but deep down in my heart I'm tired God knows.

If you want to mask your identity online and be 100% safe, don't use VPN, use Socks5.

Martinez39s:
I was not being sentimental.

Your argument were thoughtless and out of touch with reality. Seems you wrote it out of strong emotions instead of logic.

First of all, who told you female rape victims suffer more than male rape victims? Apart from pregnancy, what emotional and psychological trauma or harm can a female rape victim suffer that a male rape victim cannot? I really don't get the point behind this emotional ramblings.

Pregnant women called names in an era of baby mamas? By the way, do YOU know the number of pregnancies that resulted from rape? In an age where women have dozens of abortion pills and techniques, why would a rape pregnancy be left undisturbed?

If the words of female rape apologists (which are a minority) can be counted as trauma, what about the male rape apologists (which are many) that sweep male rape under the carpet with "male rape is not a thing," "it's free prissy," "a woman cannot rape a man" etc.? Shouldn't that be counted?

I have already shown that your preceding arguments are thoughtless. What emotional and psychological trauma do female rape victims suffer that male rape victims don't suffer?

Na so. Even if such happens, many men can't suffer the same because most men are either the owners of their houses, or they pay the rent.

That aside, do you think male rape is wrong and SHOULD be taken very seriously? I ask because it's one thing to give YOUR reasons as to why society treat both cases differently, and it's another to actually buy into these reasons. Answer.

GreatResearcher1

SMH. We are not arguing on why female rape should be given more attention, we are arguing on why male rape is usually dismissed or never taken seriously. Is the loss of virginity a trauma in itself? If it is, then all non-virgin girls are traumatized by now. I know why society treat male rape differently, but your points are not just it. Loss of female virginity isn't enough to slide line male rape. Thank goodness you even admitted that male rape victims are traumatized emotionally. If that is not enough reason to take male rape, then I am confused.

We are not arguing on why female rape should be given more attention, we are arguing on why male rape is usually dismissed or never taken seriously. Don't try to be cunning. Male rape can be very traumatic, and that's enough reason to take it seriously.

We are not arguing on why female rape should be given more attention, we are arguing on why male rape is usually dismissed or never taken seriously. Should male rape be taken seriously, yes or no?

We can agree to disagree. It is unlikely that a parent would do nothing if his/her daughter accused a houseboy/relative of sexual assault.

Lol. Perhaps she was wasn't able to handle the insults and name calling a year before she came out.

I said what I said, and we don't have to agree with each other. But one thing I'm certain of is that, 'all your counter arguments are illogical, based on sentiments and wrapped with sarcasm and chauvinism.

If you think that a female losing her virginity to rape isn't that much of a big deal, then it's either you're not enlightened or just being outrightly insensitive. And there is a difference between 'getting pregnant on purpose', and being 'forced to'. So, your 'baby mama' counter point is baseless and doesn't hold water.

And to think that you brought another dimension to the issues being discussed when you indirectly insinuated that, the 'married victims of rape' who were thrown out of their matrimonial home could have been as a result of them not contributing to the house rent.

What a dumb insinuation to make! Seriously, if that is the only counter point you could come up with, then it's pointless trying to make you see reasons. But anyways, I didn't expect less cos you sound like the 'typical African man' whose past time is to belittle women.

So, if you like, scream all you want, but be rest assured that cases of male rape will NEVER be taken seriously because the effects rape has on men is nothing compared to what women suffer. Deal with this, and just close the chapter.

Martinez39s:
This is not a good reason to sweep male rape under the carpet; in fact, this isn't even why male rape isn't taken too seriously. This doesn't even make any sense. If a female rape victim was discovered to be infertile, will her rape be swept under the carpet?

Utter rubbish. This is the first time I am hearing such excuse as to why male rape is less grievous than female rape? Suppose a lady was immune to any STD, do you seriously think the rape of such lady will be swept under the carpet?

I can't, for the life of me, see how this reasonably explains why male rape isn't taken too seriously. A woman who has been raped isn't even considered a slut, and no boy is hailed as a player/stud for being raped. What exactly is your point?

Please drop a statistic that confirms your percentage globally. I am happy you included "recorded cases." Less men report rape cases because of the way society views male rape victims.

Male rape victims could be little helpless boys sexually preyed upon by aunties, uncles, parents, clergymen etc. Also, physically force is not the only method of rape; a lady could drug a man (remember Cardi B?) and take advantage of him. In some instances, multiple females could ambush a male and rape him. Even male homosexuals rape men.

Your arguments so far have been irrational and disappointing. I am convinced you are being disingenuous. Your are probably a female or a weak stùpid male asslicker.

Rape is rape, male or female. Rape is rape, whether ot happens frequently or not. Who told you that rape is more devastating for females? Who told you that male rape rarely happens? Even if male rape rarely happens, is it enough reason not to take a single case of male rape seriously?

You might as well believe that all cases of male rape are fabrications. You SOUND like someone who has no sympathy or a shred of concern for male rape victims. Obviously, you think male rape isn't that serious, and you feel justified with half-baked rationalisations so far. I am sure if given the chance, you would proclaim that male rape is not a thing.

You don't know his mother, neither do l, but it's highly unlikely that a parent would do nothing if his/her daughter accused a houseboy of sexually assaulting her. I could understand if the parent does nothing if the family pastor was accused since the brains of many are so subservient to their pastors and holy books.

GreatResearcher1, a question for you.

I am not insinuating anything, but I got curious when females like Busola Dakolo open up years after their supposed incident. Could it be that they enjoyed the act?

I think your problem is, 'you're just being sentimental and not factual', and this is an attribute displayed by most humans. My points were raised based on experience and how the typical human reasons. Hey, it is human nature to show empathy towards people whom we feel have been more physically bruised and have suffered a lot of physical damages than others. When a rape occurs, the victim experiences a lot of pains; both physically and emotionally. But unfortunately, very few pay attention to their emotional battles. In fact, very few pay attention to our emotional battles ( whether we are rape victims or not). So, this leaves us with the physical pains and consequences.

And as for the physical consequences: "Do you know the number of pregnant women who have been called names, but unknown to the public, their pregnancy was as a result of rape"? Do we begin to talk about those who were slut shamed right here on this forum, and accused of seducing their rapists with their dressing mode?

So tell me mister, how many male victims have experienced half of what their female counterparts go through both physically and emotionally? I have seen cases where women were asked to pack out of their matrimonial homes for being victims of rape. How many men will ever experience something like that in Nigeria? And yeah, I'm not denying the fact that male kids are victims of rape as well, and I questioned the OP's claim not because he is a male, but because he loves to throw tantrums and sounded like he just needed his topic to be on front page.

And as for the male kids who were victims of rape: Although I feel empathy for them, but this doesn't change the fact that despite them suffering emotionally, and might have contacted STD in the process, there is no physical evidence that they lost their virginity, and there is no possibility that they will grow up and be called names like "whores" (by some unreasonable men) just because, they are no longer virgins. So, tell me why female rape cases shouldn't be given more attention since women experience more devastating effects than men?

Would you question why Covid-19 patients are paid more attention to than patients suffering from a slight headache (considering the fact that the former has a more devastating consequences)? Some things are the way they are, and can never change, because human nature has made it so. So, until men start carrying pregnancy, and their bodies begin to show physical signs when disvirgined, then the society will start to pay more attention to male rape victims.

Lastly, you must be living under a rock to state that: "It is unlikely that a parent would do nothing if his/her daughter accused a houseboy/relative of sexual assault". Seriously, you obviously don't know how the average Nigerian parents think or act towards their children(especially the poor ones). Majority are irresponsible and lack parenting skills, and will dismiss claims by their kids of being molested by uncles, fathers, because they consider such scandals as embarrassing.

And hey, Busola never spoke up as a teenager because, the backlash she would have received from the public would have been enough to push her to commit suicide. She opened up when she was strong enough to handle the insults and names calling hurled at her. And one of her reasons for speaking up was because, "the pain of a female losing one's virginity to rape never heals".

angelfallz:
This is a very ignorant comment. And the reasons, you stated are just so stupid. So many people have little to no knowledge of what rape is. No wonder many people just mis yarn when it comes to rape.

Why not counter my reasons instead of ranting incoherently? Until then, just pretend you never read my comments.

kiddkash:
there is noting wrong with being ambitious, wanting to be rich or making a good life for yourself
the only difference is how you go about it.

don't make it sound like if you are young then you shouldn't have billions.
how old was mark Zuckerberg when he became a Billionaire.
is it until someone turns 75?
then how long before you enjoy the money before kicking jerry-can

There is a difference between ambition and desperation. When you say: "I must become a billionaire before I turn 40", that is desperation. But an ambitious person doesn't act desperate; as his drive, input and determination is what can change his success story, and it doesn't matter to him how long it takes.

A 'painful death' is when you obey the Corona Virus lock down rules only to get knocked down by a vehicle on the day it's lifted. But in his case, he died like an influencer that he is; on a fast lane.

Dude, I would have told you to "rest in peace", but words are meaningless to the dead. Again, I cannot say: "Till we meet again", cos in the after life, relationships ain't significant.

And what about a word of prayer for you? Hmnn....prayers are of no use to the dead. So, I can only imagine the plans you made on the day your life was cut short.

May we not make plans only to have it cut short by that five lettered word called 'death'.

As a matter of fact, if they are as rich as they portray, then it's an insult to use policemen as guards. They should get well trained and sophisticated bodyguards (like the type most American celebrities use).

By the time they pay salaries and allowances twice, then we will know how far. But I'm sure they will eventually go back to using Musa, Obinna, Dayo and the likes as guards, cos even if you gift them #500, they will pray for you and your future great grand kids.

Airforce1:
After you Na you boss.

Billionaire business man, everything and everywhere soft.

If I no make the billion billion mark before I 40, No be mama born me.

Crimes are on the increase cos Nigerian youths are desperate to become millionaires. Millionaires/Billionaires in Western countries don't vow to get rich, but rather strive to make a difference in society, and the millions just rolls their way.

MrSensor:
it's not late but you should have at least one child even out of marriage. You are not alone my fellow man. Things will be OK soon and pls target the younger girl for a wife (age between 22 and 30)

What does having a child guarantee in life? I'd rather be without a child than raise the type of children we have these days.

Jman06:
You need not bother yourself what people think about your marital status. We all run our different races in this life.

Never mind anybody telling you about life expectancy and stuff like that. No man can tell who'll die before who. Death has proven to be a respecter of no age! In fact, many men have even met their untimely deaths by getting married to some kind of women.

So bro, take your time and do things at your own pace.

The best comment so far. I laugh when people talk about 'life expectancy', when young people die everyday, while older people are still going strong.

Hmnn.....people are going through a lot.

donors:
Good day everyone. I know it's annoying seeing people beg online, but desperate times calls for desperate measures.

My junior brother below has been suffering from nephrolithiasis (kidney stones). He has been hospitalised for a month plus at Reagina Ceali hospital in Anambra state.

We need a five hundred thousand plus for his surgery, his hospital bills and drugs bill are also Pilling up. I'm a year two student of UNN.

The little boy is in pains. He's my only brother and sibling. I won't like to loose him because of my parents financial state.


Any amount is okay,>>>>click here to donate<<<<

Save a child :'

Oh my God! I know how u must be feeling right now. I hope you get help soon.

MrBrownJay1:
very simple...
- dont leave your kids with strangers
- teach your kids (from a very young age) to never let anyone near/touch their private parts (unless daddy or mummy)
- dont leave your kids at home with ANYONE that aint close to you (no housegirl/neighbor or even questionable family members)
- teach your kids to always voice anything that has happen to them in privacy
- if you must leave your kids at home with strangers then make sure that you equip your house with the proper tools to monitor whats going on in the house when you are not there (very affordable and easy to install)

And what happens if the rapist turns out to be her dad or brother?

GreatResearcher1:
We don't speak up because you lots don't give a damn. and if we enjoyed it, I think women too enjoyed it.

And for the women that have spoken up, how many got justice?

GreatResearcher1:
Pls leave the thread thanks..

I can see you created the thread just to draw attention and throw unnecessary tantrums. But how can I leave the thread when no one can lay claim to the cyberspace?

GreatResearcher1:
I think u should see a physician

Okay, but I think you need one more than I do.

GreatResearcher1:
Why will you believe when I'm not a female?

No, that's far from my reason. A male cousin was also molested, but in his case, he bragged about it. I said I didn't believe you because of the tone you used in your write up. You sounded more like you were trying to tell the story of others and not yours exactly.

GreatResearcher1:
I am a victim of rape. I've been raped uncountable times by our maids and even my mom never believes me.
Why do we ignore male rape?
Why do we think the male victims enjoyed it yet we don't think same for female victims?
Why do we make mockery of male rape cases?
Why do we sweep male rape cases under the carpet?
Why Why Why?


I just spoke with a female friend about Jennifer's rape and she curses her rapists but when I told her I was also raped all she could do is laugh? I asked why she laughed she said it's funny.

Why is male rape funny?
Why do we not pay attention to male rape?



lalasticlala I want answers to these questions

Cases of male rape are usually swept under the carpet for the following reasons:

1. Men don't get pregnant unlike their female counterparts.

2. The opening in a woman's body makes her more vulnerable to STD's unlike their male counterparts.

3. Women are usually slut shame if they have multiple body counts, but males are hailed for doing the same.

4. Women are usually the victim in more than 90% of recorded cases of rape.

5. Men were created to be more physically stronger than women, so it is assumed that it is almost impossible to rape an adult male. The same cannot be said of women.

What I'm trying to say in a nut shell is, when there is a female rape, the physical and mental consequences are more devastating hence the need to feel empathic towards their plight. On the other hand, cases of male rape may occur and can only raise an eyebrow if the person involved is a kid. And since it does not happen frequently, no one pays attention when it does.

Although, I don't believe you were raped as a kid, but if really you were, then bear in mind that your mom refused to believe you not because you were a male, but because she was not responsible enough to pay attention like a parent should. Most female kids also experience situations like yours.

But I'm curious though, since your mom wouldn't listen, why didn't you confide in your dad, siblings, relatives, or anyone who was close to you?

I'm not insinuating anything, but I get curious when I see male children bringing down the roof top for being spanked by their maids, but will never speak up when molested. Could it be that they really enjoy the act, hence the silence?

MrBrownJay1:
its all about educating your kids on the world out there... teaching them that there is nothing wrong with being wrong, so long as they correct their errors accordingly. never go out alone and have people with you that are looking out for your best interest. any babe should know that if you are invited to some party and these guys send your female friends away so that its only you and 6 guys left, A) your friend will have the common sense to say no and drag you out of there or B) you yourself would know that something is fishy and you will jejely get the hell out of there with your other female friends...

before any parent believe that their 18yr old child is ready for the world, they best make sure that proper sense is present in her brain!

And how are parents supposed to prepare a kid who gets raped by relatives or friends right in their homes?

Exc2000:
that's not hypocrisy , its maturity.. I never condemned anyone, I barely stated I don't like doing the rape, and since am not a judgmental hypocrite, I mind my business and don't judge others for sinning differently

The last time I checked, one obvious sign of maturity is to admit that you're biased. You didn't condemn anyone, but you disapproved of their actions; whilst at the same time admitting that you have friends who are like them.

So, if you disapprove of their behaviors, but still keep rapists as friends, then that is hypocritical of you.

And as for sinning differently, I guess it's okay to have friends who are murderers, wives who are adulterous, and politicians who are corrupt. After all, it's okay to sin differently and we have no right to judge anyone.

travelland:
@Bolded, now that you went for the second child and you need support is it the best? you're begging to sustain you now just because you feel one child is not enough. Sister that's not the way to go. Never make decisions based on emotion, do it based on logic. If you don't have enough, don't go for another child. Now that the did has already been done I hope you find help

You just hit the nail on the head! I read what she said about not stopping at just a kid because of her condition. I wanted to respond, but was too pissed to type what I had in mind.

A lady I knew back then once said the same words as the OP's. She then gave birth to three more kids in succession while she was struggling with her hubby to make ends meet. Shortly after, she lost her husband, and you can figure out the rest.

In all honesty, there are some people's condition who don't move me at all. It's very simple: If you can't cater for three kids, and you decide to birth three, then deal with the consequences.