₦airaland Forum

@Ifeleke:

I want a restraining order placed on known parties calling me JP, JigglyPuff or any other pseudonyms that tend to create or enhance [in any manner whatsoever] the desire to react, offend, or re-offend. I want to place an asbo on anyone who moves against that restraining order, or attempts to breach on this concensus ad idem.

I want to know the procedure for going about this.

All of you are to blame

Lexi - for not allowing Puffy to make his own mind up in the first place - thought better of you!!

That statement felt worse than a hundred daggers in the heart.

Angel - for being such a drama queen. wettin? so d guy no want do again - from what i gather you have a lot going for you. alot even some of the guys in this sorry little mess would be willing to give an eye and an arm for!! (Lexi inc) so chin up girl and move on, you will find some one else who will love you and want you for keeps!!

The bold text is wrong from my point of view, she is a hottie but i'll stick with Puffy's judgement on this one - if he saw something fishy, then afraid suppose catch me too

@Topic: I have to agree with Theseeker on almost all his points, i think they were spot on. It is not about blaming the directly or indirectly guilty parties, its more about finding a diplomatic solution that will work well for everyone.

sesman:
wa gbayi, i agree with theseeker 100% on this,

You Guys should leave puffy alone, he should be allowed to date who he wants, he is a grown man. i know you guys love him and wants the best for him, it should be his decision. so you guys should back off, simples

if anyone is going to commit sucide over a lover, am afraid they will only have themselves to blame, no one is in irreplaceable,

It is heating up oh and now that shit has hit the fan, i'm afraid Puffy is in a right mess!  Angel has involved her folks but thats not the problem. . .  The real problem is her mum is a lawyer who is very well known to be radical and ruthless against men who avoid their family or paternal duties. Although Puffy is not yet a family man, Angel is now accusing him of impregnating her!!! plus she is going to ensure the baby stays. We are not sure of this recent claim as she has refused to give any clues and is also refusing to attend a pregnancy test - we feel she might be trying to use female tactics to hold him down but nobody is sure about that either.
Puffy? he is going mad with the latest news and is now acting all funny.

But let me ask one question: Is it by force to tie a guy down? Even when he is no longer interested??

Ujujoan:
Wow!! I can only think of how frustrated the Angel girl will be. But I guess you cant force love. If I were her, hard as it might be, I'lllet him go. Afterall she practically forced herself on him in the first place.

Angel is really threatening to do something very nasty if Puffy leaves her for Laura or anyone else, thats the problem, she's obsessed with Puffy and i fear she is seriously suicidal right now.

TheSeeker:
Lexi, let him be and do whatever he wants. If Angel is matured enough, she'll understand, if not now, later. You don't have to openly support him in the presence of either Laura or Angel but let him do what he wants. He seems like a principled guy to me who knows what he wants and no, I don't think he's making excuses up to leave Angel -- because from your total description of Angel, every man, especially a gold digger will want to be with her but he chose not to and he knows why. Do you by chance know maybe Angel is so proud and egocentric because of what she's achieved and Puffy didn't want to tell you because he feels it'd be a personal business? Do you believe the girl is a wholly full-of-good-character kind of girl? Maybe she's not all you think and Puffy knows and is in the best position to know better. You may ask why he knew all these and still was going on about meeting her family and friends, well he knows better and I think you need to ask him that but if you ask me, he's enjoying the publicity while it lasted.

I totally agree with u, and i'm hoping Angel can understand too. . . She's taken a hard hit and is taking it too deeply at the moment i'm afraid.
As for whether she's all that or not, I wouldn't wanna go there just yet, obviously Puffy has seen a few things we haven't but exploring that area is only gonna do more damage to Angel.

Nairaland Girls Are So Lonely

Obviously

Absolute rubbish. . . . . .

Where you not the one who:
He was bleeping her and enjoying the pleasures with the relationship. Now he sights another fresh fish in London and it is time to move on. Offer the same advice you proffered the first time. It surely does wonders to him! It surely depicts, y'all are friends of confusion!

That is quite wrong, I did ask him to give it a try even if it didnt last long cos i honestly thought he was writing off a really good prospect at that time. I'm quite positive that every other member gave the same advise to Puffy because Angel came across as a good girl who could melt any man's heart.
They hit it off and it was working well until out of the blue, something changed. We are not friends of confusion, we've been friends for over 8yrs now and have actively assisted each other when the goings were rough.

It never started nicely! It started on a note of ''lets see how far I can get with her''. I do not see any issue here as you friends never gave any good advice in the first place to your friend. U messed with the lady's emotions and feelings. And may God help you all if she does not go ahead to commit the intended suicide.

You're right on this one, but we only used the term "see how long it lasts even if it doesn't last long" to convince him to give her a trial, she made it absolutely clear that she was crazy about him, and turning her request down was definitely gonna kill her self esteem. . .  
We did not mess with Angel's emotions, she was messed up already, we only helped her achieve her dream - which turned out to not be good for her afterall. We are hoping she doesnt carry out any suicidal missions.

sistawoman:
How long did puffy date Angel before he decided to move on to Laura?

Is this typical behavior for puffy? Does he jump from woman to woman? And what is his age?

Puffy and Angel are still together, however things are up in the air right now. They started actively dating in the middle of January this yr, but Puffy met Laura for the first time in March 2009, I think they started talking about an affair around the end of the same March, since then its been making very little progress - i first heard Puffy speak about it in May and i think thats when he started getting really interested in Laura.

Amongst all 6 of us, Puffy is the only one that is difficult to understand. He has always had this "I cant be bothered" attitude towards women and has stayed single the longest. We only felt here was an opportunity to really get him tied into something for a change. Its definitely not his typical behaviour to jump from woman to woman, he is more of an adventurer who does those things that others are scared of. He loves danger and lives on the edge almost all the time. We all did crazy stuff in naija, but Puffy once drove for 45mins at 255Km/Ph using cruise control. . . between Enugu and P/Harcourt - thats how mad he gets, i remember punching him in the gut for trying that with me in his car knowing i'm an only son!
Puffy is Shaggy's twin brother and they both clock 33yrs this October.

- what i can deduce from the post is that he is just infatuated.

This is wrong, he sounds like he really likes Laura. . .  He always told us his choice of a girl is one who is dark skinned and extremely slim, and judging from Puffy's physique, we all thought he was joking cos he is huge and towers at 6"5'.

- I feel sorry for the angel gal cus u guys were the ones that set her up for a fall (yes i know she was also interested blah fucking blah, however the modus operandi of how relationships work is that at least the guy should originally experience a hard-on with respect to the lady in question (i.e. be originally attracted to her in all ways possible) and not that you guys are the ones that should convince him to do so).

It is clear to all of us, that Puffy didnt like Angel one bit when she made an approach, and it makes us fell bad too because we felt at the time that given time, this relationship would work as one party was already seriously attracted.

- I am sorry to say but i forsee a situation whereby he's going to use u guys as his excuse for dumping the angel girl.

We did see a spark in Puffy's eyes [after a few meetings with Angel] that made us think this is gonna be good, but i guess he was trying really hard at that time to integrate into the whole thing but his mind was never really there.

- Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder hence cause you guys find Laura more attractive does not mean the guy is also going to find her attractive, only a few ladies have a universal appeal to men. for example, some guys find halle berry attractive however she is just average and barely attractive as far as i am concerned.

I guess u can say that again and again where Puffy is concerned, but seriously, Laura doesnt even come close to Angel in looks - that came from 5 guys with a good knowledge of female looks.

Damn, i missed out. Honestly, i totally stopped checking my yahoo and wasn't abreast of the date we chose and even the location and so i went to Leeds for the weekend. . . Glad to see y'all had fun though.

We have a funny situation right here and this one pass me. . .  Truth is we need some help convincing my guy that he may be making a huge mistake. There are 6 of us, for the purpose of this thread our names shall be: Lexi[myself], puffy, shaggy, mase, minches, and becks. Shaggy is engaged, but the rest of us are single and looking for something serious.

In January this yr, we bumped into this hottie at a party [here called Angel], we were wowed by her charming smile but we all thought it was impossible for her to be single and so we didnt even bother. . .  However, she bothered to get puffy's number off someone at the party who knew us. I dunno whether to say she made the worst choice of a bf from our group in the person of puffy because he is that type of dude who is just different in every way from all the others. . .  and oh, once puffy makes up his mind, nothing can change it, nothing at all.
Well, she made an approach and of course Puffy was like she can go to hell, he was not prepared for anything, but we put pressure on him saying he cant say no to her offer, for goodness sakes, this could be his wife. . .  Maybe he couldn't see it happening just yet - but that didnt mean it couldnt happen in the end. When nothing else worked, puffy came to me for advise cos he knows i'll tell him as it is - even if it hurts, and i did just that. I advised puffy to give it a try, enjoy it while it lasted - even if it didnt last too long! I asked him to feel free to say no if she demanded for anything expensive or if he thought she was being overly materialistic, and many more guy talk i gave to him sha, and at the end he decided to try her out.

Puffy and Angel hit it off like magic, suddenly Puffy was alive - he joked more, smiled more, looked like he lost some weight [obviously ], and was more pleasing to the eyes. . .  He even yabbed us [the single ones] about how he was now semi-married and how we need to get a wife and get a life etc.
I think Angel started introducing him to everyone in her family and then to every one of her friends etc, but thats when it happened!

In March this yr, Puffy met Angel's girlfriend [here called Laura] and he went crazy. Now, to the majority of guys, Angel was miles ahead of Laura in physical beauty and in body figure, she was taller and had better curves and attributes, she has a better job and is richer, she has a better level of education and seemed better off for a man in every area, so u can imagine what was going on in all our minds when Puffy said he was gonna dump Angel for Laura.  Puffy says he never loved Angel, he only decided to play along to see if he could develop any feelings for her in the process. . .  Now he feels like God was using Angel to lead him to Laura!
Angel is distraught right now and is trying to block off any attempt to see Laura, and Laura feels Angel doesn't have a right to stop a guy from approaching her, they are about to have a go at each other too.

Something that started so nicely has gone so bad. . .  Somehow we feel bad for even asking Puffy to give angel a go in the first place. We have tried getting him to stick with Angel but he gives crazy reasons like "She's a Nigerian British Citizen and he wants Laura who's a pure Nigerian". This is a new dimension to the whole story but Angel has threatened very much and appears suicidal to me. . . 


Your thoughts are welcome, your insults should be limited as this would bring further emotion and tension to a situation that already has too much of both. I can assure u that Puffy is reading, however discreetly. Others like Laura, shaggy, mase, minches, and becks will be monitoring as guests too.

Apologies for the long length of this write-up, and many thanks for your contribution.

latch:
How come almost every girl on here is denying the posters question? ,  pretty curious, considering we all know its true

Oh c'mon, u didnt expect the girls to come out and unilaterally identify with the thread as the truth now, did u?

Its called a specie of Forming They all form from time to time - saying all sorts of morally-correct things to make themselves come across as saints or 'the perfect gf/wife material'   But we know how to seperate the rice from the chaf

_{You see, the thing is everyone knows whats right from wrong, but not everyone will do right over wrong}

As long as i have cash in my pockets, the confidence levels are bursting

I remember as a youngster, i did have that feeling of a lump in my stomach whenever i was to approach a girl - even when i had been told that she was already down and expecting me , but i also realised that if the cash is in your pocket and u have a car, some amount of that lump disappeared instantly . Looking back now, i think it was a mutual thing for the girls too, cos u could see that they were not calm or relaxed either .

@Topic: I think it comes with age, at a young age, girls tend to be shaky and intimidated by fine boys, but as they grow older things change, and their abilities to handle such situations tend to change too .

Welcome to the harsh reality of life

I've been in this situation many times and might be able to help, but u have not completed the story. Its difficult to understand why she would start revealing stuff u told her to 3rd party peeps. What have u done to deserve that? How did your relationship with her end? What rumours did your friends spread about u? Did u cheat on her?

Try postponing the wedding. . . or shifting the date further.

You are faced with either an innocent attempt to plan a wedding [and then getting very preoccupied in it that she forgets her man almost entirely], or a case of desperation to settle into marriage as soon as possible.

I shift that date further down the line if na me cos more investigation into the root of this utter neglect during a period when u really should enjoy your time spent together. . . You are kuku engaged so the marriage will surely happen someday, why the sudden rush?

Forming galore

The forming is worse than that koko mansion

luxoire:
hahahaha - funny thing is i don't think ppl will notice your absence - let alone miss you!! (joke!)

ok i will do my best to log in as regularly as i can - if only to leave a trail of msgs and replies so that if you miss me onlne you have some reading sna replying to do when you do log on

Deal?!

Works well for me.

luxoire:
ahhh did you miss me? sweet!! just say so intead of using teh term 'wondering' - lol ok i will try not to, but you know when duty calls sha - its been a long and hard week, but God dey! and He will see me through

You wont put me in a tight corner - i know how to wriggle out
And yes, i missed u - very much too. . .  so when next u think of jogging off, pause a bit and remember that me sef will prolly not be active again until u return.

luxoire:
lol - na my name!! - i dislike immature idiots on the face of this earth - what did he expect? to be hailed as a hero? or for us to condemn the girl in question?

@iice - lol - hahaha - you know me i go tok as as i feel am - he is just lucky it is not me, i for don tell am a few things internet or not, public or not!!

Dont do that again! Dont go running off like that, u had me wondering where u was

[size=20pt][center]Luxoire!!![/center] [/size]

Dude, enjoy yourself over the weekend abeg - if she's worth your while sha. . .  Just use many condoms sha

. . . and there i was thinking u were just looking for some cheap attention, now i have to hold my hand up and swallow my initial comments.

I think u have what it takes when looks are involved. Your other attributes will determine the other bits and pieces. There is nothing wrong with being friendly without prejudice, but there has to be a defining line somewhere and u need to draw that line by yourself. There is a word called standard, and your standard is determined by where you choose to draw the line, the line is your benchmark and u should always try to stay either on or above the target, u also will need a lot of control to manage your progress or else u will very likely slip below that standards benchmark.

Your circle of girlfriends can also pull u down, no matter how badly a guy wants u, he will have a rethink if u r mixing in a group that is not all that.

Right now?

Luxoire

_{Funny enough, i've missed her posts since she stopped posting. . . Where are u??}

Only thing i can think of is looks and flow.
You may be decieving yourself by saying u are physically beautiful - that may not be the case when interpreted by your audience. . . You know how they say someone is "fine from far", but when they get really close they become "far from fine"?

Secondly, by flow i mean. . . Talking like an omata trader, using flow like one will get u attracted to the likes. I cant imagine why else u are attracting what u term the wrong audience.

Those involved cannot be overestimated, they know themselves very well - I think Nairaland as a whole also knows who they are. As much as i dont want to be digging up the dead, i will want to fix this mess created by them once and for all.

So i say, and i mean this openly. . . If u have a beef with me, show yourself now and we will straighten things out, or forever hold your peace!

I am still reading the other threads related to this one. Personally though, i dont think any one, and i mean anyone - let alone a woman, has the right to pass such nasty judgement on any race on a general perspective. If u feel scorned cos u were out-smarted, that says a lot about your intelligence or decision making, but u cannot force your own culture on any group with such a vibrant culture of their own. Your interpretations are clearly in conflict with that of many women - and i mean women like u too.

I am not the type that keeps beef but recently, i inherited some extremely potent specie of agro - and that needs addressing asap.

This is a true masterpiece. . . If read to the right audience in the right ocassion [Like the G8-G20 Meetings], it would recieve international recognition. I like the use of words, and the clear definition of the different situations of the typical Nigerian. You have, with the help of a few word, put so many extreme anormalies affecting this great country to light. At least we know the leaders seem not to know where the problems lie, well, they need to read this on a daily basis like their credo.

The only downside is that u have put this in the wrong place, it should be somewhere out there where it really matters. . . You can start by making a YouTube clip of this write-up, read it out clearly directing it to the fat cats at the helm of affairs in naija - dont show your face in that clip sha.

Thumbs up!

Yes, many times oh. . . when i was in a group called "The Young and Restless".

_{Things have changed now though}

Apart from the ocassional panel beating, i think he should be aiight

GEW:
so what happens if the pregnancy doesnt stay or the child dies at say age 2 or 3? the marriage is gone abi? we are misguided lawless people. we look for all reasons not to obey any law yet wants to prosper. God cannot be mocked

Is God not being mocked when people embark on all the countless abortions they execute?
Is God not being mocked when people sell their bodies for money? If not, then what sort of mockery are u refering to?

Thats up to u, i would wave my right hand with reckless abandon sha

na2day?:
another gold digger

@Poster: If the relationship don tire u, pls leave him.