₦airaland Forum

With the kind of attrocities women commit nowadays, it might be the way out. Prove that u r still a woman with your womb intact, and then we can talk of other things

A man cheats when a woman has proved to be a failure in her role.

Words. . .  Just as girls love to talk, words can be used to wow them too, the fastest route to their heart is through the intelligent use of words.

It is a mistake to think cash is the key cos u could have so much cash to spend but a small boy with the right skills will sweep her off her feet

Nokia is a quality brand, but nokia does not encourage playing, sony ericsson does!

_{If your man works in IT and is addicted to sony ericsson phones. . . Fear him}

Its called "being spontaeneous"
Girls complain when a guy is not like that. . . they say he's a slacker
If u dont like it then why get entangled in an attraction/a connection?

Secretz:
Sorry, it's a no go area for me. Nope nope nope.

Many companies are against it, especially if one is in a senior position and the other is in a junior one.
Anyways, alot of people in my previous place of work are all shagging each other. Esp the married ones! nonsense.

YEAH, THATS HAPPENING AT MY PLACE OF WORK TOO, PERSONALLY I KNOW 3 GROUPS WHO ARE SHAGGING EACH OTHER

I'm pondering over whether to start one or not, but we dont work in the same office, she owns the dry cleaners on the ground floor, and the green light is too much. . .

Real Love is premium madness. . .
Real love hurts;
Real love makes you totally vulnerable and open;
Real love will take you far beyond yourself;
Therefore real love will devastate you.
If love does not shatter you,
You do not know love

TheSeeker:
Thank you. Some women just don't cease to upset you.

Thank u very much for thanking me, but i'm still thanking u as you're thanking me too
Never mind them girls, they're telling themselves lies. . . not me. Almost 90% of naija babes have this mentality that makes me want to cry foul all the time, why not just come clean and leave all the forming out of it - the forming is now old school and can even be predicted before they start it.

TheSeeker:
What's with the gifts? He has been treating her good, making her feel like a queen, what else does she need? Pharaoh's head? Or the six wheel car Oprah Winfrey bought?

Correct!
A+!

Romeo4real:
I really dont understand the posters here having a go at the guy about being stingy, and  saying giving is an act of love, blah, blah, blah.
What about the above quote? Isn't that based on giving and making sacrifices? How can u care abt someone without giving? How can u be wonderful, take his partner out on dates, treat them well, and make them feel special without GIVING something? If it is the gesture as she says, do all the above gestures count for nothing?

According to the quote above, he has been giving his time, his money and his emotions. Her gripe, by her own words, is that "she has nothing to show for it" How can she then say she is not materialistic?
BrownJAY has articulated the problem with the OP well - She is materialistic despite her protestations at not being so. Quite clearly, she attaches material gifts to the act of love.
It is women like this that lead men to the conclusion that no matter what u do, u can NEVER make a woman happy. For everything u give them, there is something they will moan about not getting.

Bro, I had to change the bold text to focus on something else, the same point i've been trying to make. . .  If she starts expecting gifts now, she cannot justify the phrase Not Materialistic.

Bros TheSeeker, May God continue to bless u abundantly

Your words are very salty And have taste.

Yeah i dated a mean girl, but i think i turned out to be much more than she could handle

No i will not. . .

Lol, if u feel leaving your bf because he has not bought u a gift in 2yrs is good enough reason, then do it.
Some guys equate stuff like gifts with a level of commitment. . . If he's taking u out to places, being caring and loving, then what is your stress?  Nobody is saying the poster is materialistic, but many will interprete this new direction she is threading in to mean steering into materialism.  Most times, a man who is serious about woman has seen some behavioural traits in that woman - when things start to change, it upsets the ante.

I would treat a date like a date, and treat a wife like a wife. . .  Thats just me. Many men would prefer to shower a date with gifts and they could end up happy or sad at the end of the day too, so it is a thing of the mind. . .  but not buying tangible gifts does not indicate u do not love someone, and showering someone with gifts does not also mean u love them. There is a motive behind every action, and it is the motive u need to interprete and not the action.

Bros Julian, u do well oh.
You are a married man, that is a totally different ball game.

I personally have many points of disagreement with u. But this is not a battlefield where we should start trading ideologies, people are different and i recognise that - i dont know if u do.

It is not by force to give anything to anyone as long as commitment levels are next to nothing. . .  That is my own stand, u can do but only out of your own will. Nobody has the right to say a guy should be getting them gifts because he has a good job and u guys are dating. Nobody has the right to say u might be spending your cash outside on someone else after dating u for 2yrs what does that say of that person?

It is good that u found this topic so interesting that u decided to register sharp sharp and voice your mind. . .  Welcome to NL.

Right now, she's in town and wants to start a program which is going to last for about 12 months and she needs a place to stay for a couple of weeks until she sorts out her accommodation problem. I have talked it over with my girlfriend about it but she doesn't seem to have anything to say, she said I should do what I think is best.

He already asked his gf if she has any probs with the arrangement, and besides this girl only needs to stay a few weeks until she sorts herself out. If the poster is a strong man, he will withstand anything thrown at him if the girl has ulterior motives - but what if she just needs some help? will u allow a fear of the unknown to stop u from assisting someone? What if that was u in need of help? Do u know where u will meet in future?

Dude do your mind's desire - help the poor girl and strong your face.

_{Be ye kind to those u meet on your way up, as u will surely meet them on your way down}

You should ask him to get his mum something special and see his reaction first

ezinne1212:
For every action, there's a going to be a reaction. Think about that before making a decision.

Obviously the term Narcissist isn't uncommon with you. I'm assuming the poster wants unbiased views, not selfish ones.

That view was unbiased.
I dont see any reason why his girl should fret, if he has a good intention to help the lady and not go into something else with her, then the girlfriend cannot make a fuss about it - except of course, she wants to start kicking up some insecurity tantrum.

It is good that things like this happen before u engage or marry a woman, that makes it quite easy to show your right hand. . . and wave it of course

Sometimes u try in an honest way to make a slight change. . .  That slight change could upset the ante and u kiss your 2yrs relationship goodbye.

If he has been taking u out on dates, caring and loving as u say he is, then why not let things be the way they are? Do u honestly think he doesn't know he has not really bought u gifts? after 2 yrs?
You know, i can relate with the guy in question because i'm that type, I feel it will be good to buy gifts but only when i see a particular level of commitment like. . .  say, an engagement or even further more. I will be happy to take a girl out while we are dating, but at that stage i dont owe u anything gift-wise. If u feel ok with getting me small gifts, thats fine but u cannot demand anything of the like.

@Poster: if u like this guy, do yourself a favour and ditch this crazy and thoughtless risk you're about embarking.

_{Let those who have ears listen}

@Poster:

I dont like girls like u, i really dont. You are there wondering if he's spending on another girl, u remind me of an ex who would even frown when i sent money to my own mum. . . and that was just annoying.

That is such a turn-off, u even went on to the koko, i'll just lose my interest in the whole thing for the moment.

@Topic:

I have that feeling all the time. . .  She's not a clown but she just does her thing very differently and thats the unique thing about her, she is so damned intelligent. . .  When things happen around me and i remember her words or actions, i'll be like smiling to myself and when i dont, my friends can still see a glimmer in the corner of my eyes. . .  Amazing!

lord krato:
Guy,i gt ur point bt d fact is dat d decent girls r nt seen evry day nd 2 tel u sumtimes i miss d lyf of a bad boy u knw, d attntion,d respect nd d fact dat gud nd bad girls dote on ya.bt hell,girls dnt knw gud tins wen they c 1

I know. . .  Good girls are the worst decision makers of all time, it is worse for the pretty ones amongst them because they want to know they look good - and who better use words than them players So the chemistry is instant, they just wanna be with u as long as u're saying to them what nobody else can say

Sometimes its good to knowingly play mugu if the rewards are massive enough

Romeo4real:
A friend of mine almost became a slave in his own house, b'cos his wife said she finds a man cooking and cleaning in the kitchen romantic. The idiot complied, and it almost led to their marriage breaking down when he started to reject it too late.

Why do i always feel such women are just lazy??
I remember when i was young and growing up, I always wanted to cook, i always wanted to be in the kitchen. . . but there was an unwritten credo about the kitchen - it was only open to women in the house!
They literally drove me out each time i went in there and we always had to wait for them to serve us. . . my mum kept telling me that someday i would own my own house and still realise that the kitchen was out of bounds. . . for that simple reason, whoever my wife is has to resemble my mum on that point oh!

If she looks anything like that girl Syd from Eastenders. . . What can i say eh?

JamaicanQT:
Women aren't complicated its all about taking the time understand the feelings, personality and what she is all about, SIMPLE AS THAT

Whoever tries to understand the feelings of women is doomed for a lifetime

_{Plus, its not as simple as that pls}

puskin:
The guy aint a good liar.

true talk man, but i really dont see what he should lie about. Tell the girl that when she left, he exercised his right to be with someone, and just as he could not vouch for her being with her mum at the time, he couldn't vouch for himself too.

Girls make that mistake of choosing to punish a guy by leaving after a row, not knowing that a guy is most vulnerable at that moment to get into the wrong mix - either in a bar, or restaurant, under the influence of his friends or just by talking to the next door neighbour, it happens all the time - girl leaves guy, guy impregnates stranger, girl comes back to guy, but its too late.

Just thinking, The story line illustrates how guys think in a very straight-to-the-point manner like: he had a crappy day at work, he's tired and he just got laid!
The girl has built 10 million skyscrappers in her thoughts, wondering why he's so quiet, why he doesn't say i love u back, why he was passive in bed, where his thoughts are. . . and the list just goes on and on.

@Poster:

If thats what u mean, then i have to agree with u.

It is really refreshing to see someone who believes in trying to make up after a break-up, so it doesn't always have to be a scenario where your man misbehaves once and he's "dumped like he's hot!".

@Topic:

If he's still out there, pls go and find your peace with him. . . However, if he's moved on to another girl, it will be difficult to lure him back, except he truly loves u.