₦airaland Forum

crackkhaus:
@wjxavier, as much as there are valid points to be seen in your post, not failing to mention your beautiful introductory story about Major, I have to tell you that you still got one thing backwards.

Damn I still can't get over Major's suicide

Anyway, so hear goes...
There's something my mother told me, yes my mother, and I was just a teenager when she did. There are basically two things which a woman can use to manipulate/control/exercise some kind of power over a man - these are food and sex.
The moment a woman, your woman, your wife, discovers that you're not overly dependent on the pleasures her vagîna or cooking can provide for you, she has lost almost all the power she can use to hold you ransom. The only remaining source of her power becomes the children, but that's another story entirely.

You're absolutely on point when you state that an apology has to be made with words, not with sex and certainly not with food.
Now this is how the little wisdom from my momma ties into it: A woman who is already aware that her food or her sex does nothing extraordinary for you, will also know for a fact that she is wasting her time using them as a substitute for apology. She will definitely need to apologize with words even if she fights her nature to do it.

It all starts from the very beginning of a relationship. A man is supposed to lay down, whether overtly or covertly, his principles and exactly how conflict should be handled. It should preferably be overtly by simply telling his wife that an apology with words is the only way he can move on. He must let her know that he will never sweep things under the carpet like she does and she must understand this.

Not eating her food or not having sex, while advisable, is not really a definite solution. Yes you can decide to cook your own meals or eat out as a form of protest, but for how long? It's better that if you're even going to do this, you should inform her that you DEMAND an apology for the wrong she has done.
It is foolhardy to just give a woman the attitude without actually telling her what she can do to end it.

The overall point is to always let your wife know that you demand an apology from her, this is the best course of action. Even if you're going to refuse her food and her vagîna, it should go along with you demanding an apology and communicating your displeasure.


My hand is paining me...and Major's suicide has really messed up my morning.
I need to have a conversation with my good friend Jack Daniels.

xendra:
and they are all agreeing

rain21:
Kikikikiki..
This is very funny, you likened a dog to a man...., like a MAN!

SweetCunt97:
Hmmmmm, lemme not even comment before they call me man hater or feminist... Intelligent post though.

xendra:
Good for you. I could careless about encouraging a man's childish behaviours.

crackkhaus:
You mean Major starved himself to death because he had no dīck to fvck his momma?
https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/agape.gif

walcruise:
The fact that I refused your food doesn't mean I wouldn't eat else where

Sehindemi:
If a man can be so childish and petty to reject my food because of an issue of yesterday or yesteryear then he should be ready to die of starvation.
My DH isn't this foolish or childish, he is a man. No need waiting to be served food before you bring up your perceived unruly disposition, so if he was staying in another country, he would wait till he returns to the country and to be served food to express his dissatisfaction about things.
Stop this travesty of a narrative and man up to communicate your feelings or be ready to die of starvation like Dog Major.

xendra:
lmao, so a man disagreeing with your post makes him "not a king"
when the man is not a baby? what happens to communicating your feelings? if you want to starve yourself because you are angry, na sense you no get there's no dignity in it.

merahki:
@ OP? I personally would be upset if my partner rejected my food, but that’s just me. Considering how much I hate cooking it would be a double blow to me. Then withholding sexx would be another bummer.
However, usually, I am so persistent like a bug that if caught in this situation I would eventually wheedle (I dunno if this right ) him into eating the food and or having sexx with me. It is impossible to stay mad at me shaa, I think, even though I can be very, very exasperating.

I dunno if I have addressed it
Maybe it becomes all different in marriage- changes to war and mind games. In that case I know nothing about it

xendra:
Good for you. I could careless about encouraging a man's childish behaviours.

HappyNigerian:
[s][/s]
Nonsense post! Because you are in America you now think their matriarchal society that has never worked for them is better than the society that God and nature bestowed on mankind that has proven to work for us? Nonsense again

Crispels:
ON A FINAL NOTE:

Dating abroad is totally different from dating in Nigeria. There are lots of cultural differences and you must really understand these differences before shooting any shot - otherwise: you will make terrible mistakes that may ruin your reputation, mental health and growth. You may even be hated and ghosted by certain people. In America for instance, dating apps is a big deal and things happen so fast - compared to Nigeria where on the average, things take longer.

If you are a Nigerian guy and you think it is the sole responsibility of your girlfriend(wife) to cook and take care of the family - then your stupi**d patriarchy mentality will fail you big time abroad.
Most Nigerian - American girls dislike some Nigerian guys (particularly those who grew up in Nigeria) due to this kind of patriarchy and “male dominance” mentality. Many Nigerian - American girls as a result of strong upbringing by their families can cook really well(even our egusi and other Naija food) but they will hate you if you make it look like it’s their responsibility to cook for you all the time. You must also get to the kitchen - do the dishes, wash the meat, clean the tables and even cook some food as well! Everything is 50-50 in America!!! Your wife(or even girlfriend) is not your slave and it’s high time most Nigerian guys(even those based in Ibadan, Uyo, Kano and Enugu) start realizing this.

WE NEED TO TREAT OUR WOMEN LIKE QUEENS, JEWELS AND SUPPORT THEM IN THE KITCHEN, THEIR CAREERS AND IN EVERY OTHER AREA.

Randy100:
As long as it takes to find a virtuous woman. It is shocking and shameful that this generation of women have high libido. Women don't talk about satisfaction during the time of our forefathers. It was the job of the women to satisfy their husbands and not the other way round. I hope you learn this.

Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

ValCon888:
When you were flying 1st Class from Italy to France and back to Germany it was sweeting you. Now you've brought the virus here and want us to pity you.
Unfortunately, we have no sympathy or fùcks to give.

icebird25:
You deserve to be arrested ...pls don't ask why

lionlee216:
Glad the money has been raised. My friend that was locked up in the same facility confirmed he knew him and know his story

I wish him the best

JayPeeOham:
There is a manual Bro, and that's the Bible!!!


Wife: submit to your husband!!!
Husband: Love your wife!!!

These two ingredients summarizes everything a marriage needs to survive.