₦airaland Forum

[quote author=££VICTOR££]A guy picks up a girl in a Club... He took her home and they started getting along.. He starts sucking her boobs and milk came out.. He stopped and ask "hey are u pregnant"? She smiled and reply.. Dat wasn't d nippl3, it's a boil !!!!

Good Afternoon![/quote] , but Eeeew , so disgusting!

A man and his wife had devised a code for communicating their marital desires because of the children. When either of them wanted to communicate their desire, they would say they wanted to make a phone call.

One day, husband sends his son to wife, “Tell your mom that I want to make a phone call”.

Wife sends a reply, “Tell your dad that there is no network signal”.

Man responds, “Tell your mom that I will go and make the phone call outside”.

Wife sends reply, “Tell your dad that if he goes to make that call outside, I will open a call center”.

A group of bank managers are given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they’re falling off the ladders and dropping the tape measures. The whole thing is just a mess.

An engineer comes along and sees what they’re trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.

After the engineer has gone, one bank manager turns to another and laughs: “Isn’t that just like an engineer? We’re looking for the height and he gives us the length!”

ayusman16:
Do you have a problem with Boko Haram claiming responsibility? Thought you guys said they are not muslims?

If you believe this story the you will believe anything unless ofcourse you are prove to me that Boko Haram masterminders (Kabiru Sokoto and Abu Qaada) are Christians.

Chairman, don't get me wrong, i've long stopped believing in the Nigeria Media, all i am trying to state is "how confused our media and security forces are as to what is really going on in Nigeria with regards to the insecurity issues.

hmm, if they had successfully bombed the church and escaped, the next thing we wld hear is that BH has claimed responsibility, it's a bit puzzling to reason that the same church(COCIN) was attacked(bombed) in Jos barely hours before an attempt was made on the Bauchi one and surely BH as we are told was prompt to claim responsibility for that one. our blind Love for Religion is what wld rip this Country apart. even a blind man can see that the end of the Nigeria we know is near.

Bro, nice remix , but next time u steal my jokes, i wld call police for you

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-418776.0.html

Op, i use the same type of car as u, accord 03' v6. I can confirm that d tyre change is what has caused your car to suddenly start to burn more fuel. I as well just changed my 2 front tires from 215/65/16 specs to 215/60/16 specs, d width reduction did a magic of reducing d amount of fuel my car burns, can't xplain! i wasn't intending to change d back ones anytym soon but with dis new realization i wld definitely change them to same specs as d front once cos i'll be happy to c my ride burn less fuel! So "fresh air government, go ahead & remove fuel subsidy, i'm waiting at d other side"

not my notion, but there's this theory that "IT TAKES HALF THE TIME U SPENT LOVING/DATING A PERSON TO COMPLETELY GET OVER HIM/HER"

Rumour has it "that Boko Haram Nigerian Limited has threatened to detonate one explosive per day in every state & Abj if fuel subsidy is removed"

i thought efri body died and went 2 hefun.

1. that around 10AM when the sun is up, u can have a phone conversation with another person in the same city and this other person is communicating back with you at night.

2. that a herbalist's shrine can also be used to do video chatting or/and video surveillance

3. that it is extremely important to show a character driving out of his house, driving along the road all the way to his/her destination

4. that all rich men acquired their wealth through dubious means or from blood money(evil money)

and i don't watch Nollywood movies, yet from the few i've seen, these is just about a handful, i could keep on listing, , ,,,,,

First Bank is the safest bank in Nigeria for serious business, that is where all our Oil money is Saved  

ilovelagos:
How much monthly salary is required to establish a relationship?

Miss EZ:
You do not need money to start a relationship. To be honest, me i am shocked at the way Nigerians engage relationships o. I dont know where we picked this silly materialist view from. If you love someone approach the person. Any babe wey de follow u because u get money get k-leg o. I am not saying money is not important, but in an ideal situation, it shouldnt drive things like romantic relationships.

Word !

pkv:
Yoruba of course.bokon haram last

Did u drop out of school when u were in primary 2?   , when did boko haram become a tribe?

who knew poopoo could cost so much? frm today, i'm no longer flushing my own , in fact i'm starting a poopoo account with oceanic bank

Considering that the cost of unlimited internet access with no data cap restriction worldwide is $40 - $100, i'll take the high side of that range as my option considering the harsh investment conditions telecom companies in Nigeria operate under making their services more expensive as compared to some other countries. So, $100 i.e N16,000 shld be ok, i guess.

@ efisher, u're very right, i've been in warri for about three weeks now and i must say it can easily be mistaken for the capital of the state with all the Multinational and international oil/non-oil companies here, however the town is so so dirty, insecure, bad roads everywhere with very deep potholes that in some instances cut across the width of the road, an example is the road that links effurun round about and PTI junction, also, Airport Road, it's very terrible

i only hope this is just a big joke to light-up a boring sunday afternoon, else i wld ve to say this is one "complicated mental case" we have here.

@ OP, you are actually expecting people to vote in that pool u created?

tellwisdom:
Thought he said you are his MECHANIC with tribal mark , Bro is it true you have tribal mark??

the unclear irony of it is the handler u chose for urself, i hope ur ego is boosted well enuf to the level u anticipated? smh

tellwisdom:
[b][/b]

[size=29pt]AKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE . slimyemugu and skinny toothpig DROPSSSSSSS FAINTEDDDDD [/size]

i guess u don't ve anything better to with ur time than to follow mr cork from thread to thread kissing his lame asss

ebonyvibe:
Sometimes men make me laugh they want super woman when they are not ready to be Superman

LoL, do u think u can handle a superman?

@op, nice write-up and i notice how careful u where not to directly assign the condition to a specific race or class of women unlike some wld who come out and directly say, Nigerian girls this, Nigerian girls that. However, one does not have to travel round the world physically to know that this is what is obtainable in Developed/developing countries.

@killz, [s]fear dey even catch me to type ur name complete sef[/s], u couldn't have said it better, any man intending to get married to a 21st century contemporary/sophisticated working class lady and expects her to perform the full job of a house wife must have his head buried deep in the sands,

that said, it's time for men to come around to accept the fact that u wld never get the complete package of a wife in that lady u're about to marry, how u work things out and try to live in harmony with that unavailable trait u wld have wanted her to have but hasn't got wld be a test of d strenght of ur Union(Marriage).

ok Tubaba, thank you, we have heard,  now my 5 years long GF can finally accept my marriage proposal since u've dashed all her hopes    

Cinderella

2.5 million people? that is more than the entire population of some states, chei

[quote author=Mr, Cork link=topic=779054.msg9315542#msg9315542 date=1318331174]Yusuf,   Bro I swaaaar my former  driver,s name waz Yusuf. Do you have tribal marks? [/quote]if na those 6 vertical lines wey ur filage people draw for ur cheeks u dey call tribal mark, then sorry bro, i no get any. ur former driver name na Yusuf? u try. well, i no one place wey dem dey rear ur brothers, na there i dey go buy create of eggs, u get luck sey na for person back yard u dey live.

ehen, cork don show with that hin water melon head, now the thread no go get direction again,  

sexkillz:
^You don live for Pitakwa (PHC) before? You for no talk like that. . .

No, but i don stay warri b4, matter of fact, na warri i dey now sef, and trust me, korekt babe no go even stand to here u speak pidgin for her side, tok less of to begin toast am.

Woke4all:
[/b][b]My guy leave dat thing jor,  [b]Na only poor man dey speak phonetics because of babe.[/b]

my guy, english simple oh, but if na LEA or Grammar school u go, na then u go see am as phonetics

kai, sexkillz, this your rule to use only pidgin dey make me miss yan oh.  

Nna, nawa for d chik wey go fall for guy wey use pidgin english toast am oh, me i been dey think sey na only ashawo dem dey use pidgin for

no doubt, Hausa Girls are by far the prettiest girls in 9JA (NOT SEXIEST THOUGH) , however, they are one of the most boring to hang out with(i e , Dumbest), apart from their facial beauty, majority (i did not generalize oh, b4 somebody carry axe) of them have nothing upstairs.