₦airaland Forum

The Baltimore Ravens have ended Ray Rice's contract. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell also suspended Rice indefinitely. The decisions come after new footage emerged of the Ravens running back punching his wife in an elevator. Though the NFL initially suspended Rice for just two games based on external elevator video, the new recording shows the intensity of his attack.

Video: Baltimore Ravens TERMINATE Ray Rice's CONTRACT Over Domestic Violence Video(SUSPENDED From NFL)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-cRX1SiU9M&feature=player_embedded

Related Video: ESPN Suspends Stephen A. Smith for One Week

http://coed.com/2014/07/30/espn-suspends-stephen-a-smith-for-one-week-video/

With the tide of public opinion and increasingly harsher penalties levied against perpetrators of domestic abuse, abusers best think twice BEFORE they raise their fists to those they proclaim to love, because it could cost them their career and reputation.

As for women who come forward to explain away domestic abuse or, in some way imply they are responsible in provoking their attackers, who will hear your explanations from the cemetery?

Is becoming a Mrs. or being a Mrs. that vital to your identity as a woman?

Where is your mind, common sense, self-respect and dignity as a woman full-grown?

What good is being a Mrs., if you're lying cold in a graveyard?

If you have children, think of them, unless of course your children have fallen victim too...because some wicked men will beat and sometimes kill them too.

And for God's sake, don't marry ANYONE that beats your azzz BEFORE you marry them.

Do you actually think marriage is going to change them?

Such people will only get worse.

Free yourself!

THINK!!!

SAY NO TO DOMESTIC ABUSE!!!

Over the past several years, the Harper government has made some tough decisions on the immigration file. They've cancelled the immigrant investor program; they've tightened rules surrounding immigration for parents and grandparents; they've rejigged the Citizenship Act, and they've tackled marriage and refugee fraud.

So what's the next issue on Immigration Minister Chris Alexander's desk?

It looks like it's going to be 'citizenship by birth.'

Canada and the United States are the only two western countries that still automatically grant citizenship to anyone born on their soil. That means if non-citizens or non-residents have a baby in Canada, the baby becomes a citizen and can, as an adult, sponsor his or her parent for immigration.

Read more: https://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/canada-politics/harper-government-considering-changes-citizenship-birth-rules-205829052.html


Related story: Ontario Says 'No' To Removing Citizenship By Birth On Soil

The Ontario government says it will not support Ottawa’s proposal to remove citizenship rights to children born in Canada to non-citizens and non-residents.

“In our view, there is not enough evidence to justify the effort and expense required for such a system-wide program change. Citizenship and immigration Canada has not quantified the extent of fraud resulting from ‘birth tourism,’’ said Ontario Deputy Immigration Minister Chisanga Puta-Chekwe.

“At this time, there is insufficient data to demonstrate the demand placed on Ontario’s economy or public services from ‘birth tourists,’” he wrote in a letter to Ottawa, dated September 6, 2012, after a technical briefing on the plan. A copy of the province’s response was obtained by the Star this week.

Read more: http://www.thestar.com/news/immigration/2014/08/31/ontario_says_no_to_removing_citizenship_by_birth_on_soil.html

Comments?

RayMcBlue: Elektr(a): Basically a story that follows a female assassin by the name of Elektra whose weapon of choice is a pair of sai. The protogonist was played by Jennifer Garner (Also notable for a lead in "Alias" TV series). She did all the stunts herself, no body double.

An American Werewolf in London: American tourist visiting London is bitten by a werewolf, then turns into one and runs amok.

Next movie starts with (n)

The record numbers of Americans who have renounced their U.S. citizenship since January 2009 did so at the bargain-basement cost of $450, a subsidized fee that the State Department plans to raise sharply this week as more and more people sever their ties with the United States.

Officials say the new price tag of $2,350 will “capture the real, unsubsidized cost of providing this service” at a time when escalating demand has put new strain on consular resources.

The government does not make public any reasons citizens may have given for renouncing U.S. citizenship, making it impossible to say for certain what has driven the sharp rise in demand. But the most likely cause appears to be the Obama-era crackdown on U.S. citizens hiding wealth overseas.

From 2001 to 2008, 3,937 people who had lived on U.S. soil for at least eight years either renounced their citizenship or gave up lawful permanent resident status, according to Andrew Mitchel, an international tax attorney in Centerbrook, Connecticut, who tracks the figures closely.

From January 2009 to the quarter ending June 30, 2014, the number rose to 9,566, according to a Yahoo News analysis of the figures published on a quarterly basis by the Internal Revenue Service.

The rise has coincided with a campaign that has scooped up about $6 billion in taxes, interest and penalties from more than 40,000 U.S. taxpayers since 2009.

A State Department official who requested anonymity linked the fee hike directly to the escalating numbers of people casting off their citizenship — technically known as “expatriations.” The new fee goes into effect on September 12.

The amount certainly doesn’t seem likely to be a deterrent for some people who might be inclined to give up citizenship or permanent resident status. Highly affluent people shedding their U.S. citizenship to avoid taxes can afford to pay more. And families going home after a long stint working in the United States on a green card may not view the additional cost as much of an obstacle, particularly if they are hoping to stop paying their U.S. taxes.

But Mitchel told Yahoo News by telephone that the State Department's intent in increasing the fee might make some people think twice before taking an irrevocable step.

“They want to impress upon those individuals that there’s no going back,” he said. “They’re making sure that you really, really want to renounce your citizenship.”

Those who still want to go ahead with the process will continue to face hurdles. They have to appear in person, overseas, before an American consular or diplomatic officer to sign an oath of renunciation.

The official website of the U.S. embassy in London details the documentation required, including a “Renunciation Questionnaire” that asks applicants to say when, if ever, they have lived in the United States, how they obtained foreign citizenship, and to list “all previous names used since birth.” However, it never asks them to specify their reason for renouncing their citizenship.

Even going to fight for the extremist militant group the Islamic State (or IS, also known as ISIL or ISIL) will not automatically put an end to an American’s rights to citizenship, although the group has beheaded some of its captives, including two American freelance journalists. To renounce U.S. citizenship, a person must still fill out the questionnaire, according to a State Department official.

This may end up making it easier for Americans fighting for a terrorist group to be killed in a drone strike by their own government than to lose their U.S. citizenship against their will.

In addition to committing what the State Department calls “potentially expatriating acts,” an individual must do so both “voluntarily and with the intention of relinquishing U.S. nationality.”

“The Department has a uniform administrative standard of evidence based on the premise that U.S. nationals intend to retain United States nationality when they perform potentially expatriating acts,” one official told Yahoo News on condition of anonymity.

This assumption is due to the fact that the U.S. government and Americans in general have historically placed a high value on the rights of citizenship. The rationale is that it’s a good thing that it should be extremely difficult for the government to strip someone of their citizenship.

But that could change, if some lawmakers get their way. Some, including Republican Senator Ted Cruz, have called for Americans who fight for IS to forfeit their citizenship — in part out of fear that such extremists could return to the United States and carry out attacks.

“Americans who choose to go to Syria or Iraq to fight with vicious ISIS terrorists are party to a terrorist organization committing horrific acts of violence, including beheading innocent American journalists who they have captured,” Cruz said in a statement Friday. “There can be no clearer renunciation of their citizenship in the United States.”

Precise legislative language for Cruz’s proposal was not available, but a summary provided by his office included the caveat that the measure would only apply to an American who “undertakes these acts with the intent of supplanting his U.S. Citizenship with loyalty to a terrorist organization.”

The State Department signaled resistance to the proposal that such people be stripped of their rights.

"We have the authority now to revoke their passports under U.S. law if the secretary makes a determination about their threat to U.S. national security. We already have that power," Marie Harf, a deputy spokesperson for the department, said. "We also have the power if there’s a law enforcement request to revoke their passport if there’s an outstanding warrant, or something like that."

Previous efforts to modify U.S. law along these lines have failed. In 2010, lawmakers including independent Sen. Joe Lieberman tried to empower the State Department to strip citizenship from Americans who provide material support or resources to groups that Washington labels as terrorists, or who have joined or supported attacks on the United States and its allies.

Hillary Clinton, then secretary of state, did not shut the door to the proposal, which alarmed some civil liberties groups and ultimately went nowhere. She promised to “take a hard look” at the measure.

"Clearly, United States citizenship is a privilege,” she said at the time. “It is not a right.”

Source: Yahoo News / Article by Olivier Knox

The rules are simple.

1. Use the last letter of a Nigerian, Ghanaian or American movie to form the first letter of your chosen movie.

2. Include a short description or comment about the movie.

Example:

My movie: AVATAR

YOUR movie: Rabbit-Proof Fenc(e)

About this movie: Through most of the 20th century, it was Australia's official government policy that half- or quarter-caste indigenous children were to be taken from their families and raised as "white" children in orphanages, where they would be trained to work as domestic servants or laborers. In 1931, Molly (Everlyn Sampi) and her younger sister Daisy (Tianna Sansbury) and cousin Gracie (Laura Monaghan) were three half-caste children from Western Australia who were taken from their parents under government edict and sent to an institution, where they were subject to physical and emotional abuse as they were taught to forget their families, their culture, and their lives up to that point and re-invent themselves as members of "white" Australian society.


Next movie should start with the letter (e) at the end of the word fence. Don't forget your short description or comment.

Enjoy!

If you married a man out of love for his money and not out of true love for him,

would you most times, sometimes or at all times accept unacceptable behaviors and,

stay in the marriage, to secure a bright future for your children?

Pastor Emmanuel Aloysius Meduoye's* sermon was brilliant…titillating...uplifting…soul-stirring…even primal. It was the type of sermon that reverberated through the core of your very soul, making an otherwise dismal, unfulfilling life more bearable. The thunderous applause that followed was worthy of a visiting celebrity.

Comfortably ensconced in a massive leather chair, on the raised mahogany stage, Pastor Meduoye smiled indulgently as he watched the well-dressed and the not so well-dressed eagerly exit the pews and make their way to the front of the church. One by one, they deposited envelope after envelope into the tithing basket that sat at the feet of their adored Pastor.

Stylishly dressed in a meticulously tailored white Armani suit, the object of their adoration contentedly stroked his rather large stomach with pudgy, well-manicured, bejeweled fingers. His dark-brown skin glistened with sweat which he continuously wiped away with a monogrammed red silk handkerchief. But his sharp, little eyes never strayed far from the deacons, as they swiftly replaced each overflowing tithing basket with another before whisking it away to a secured back office, manned by two burly security guards. As the members filed out of the church, he noted the abundance of feminine pulchritude in attendance and made a mental note to remedy his celibate status, in the near future, courtesy of one or more of these Daughters of Eve. After all, he reasoned, wasn’t six months long enough to grieve your wife? As for the fornication issue, who would dare challenge or criticize him, “God’s Anointed”, on that or anything else for that matter? NO ONE!

So it is with the mindset of some Pastors whose charismatic personalities and onstage showmanship are worthy of an Oscar. Such theatrics have proven to be very effective magnets for the poor, illiterate and superstitious, as well as the rich and well-educated, all seeking supernatural solutions for real-life problems. For the weak in spirit Pastors, such overt adoration tends to warp their moral compasses. It swells their egos and makes them thumb their noses at propriety, pushing them to commit the very same immoral depravity they rabidly preached against from the pulpit. Seduced by the fame and fortune bestowed upon them, they begin to liken themselves to demigods, as do their fawning followers. They lull their trusting members into believing that all tithes are being used for “God’s work”, but there is little evidence of “God’s work” present among the needy in the congregation. However, the generosity of “God’s Children” is quite evident - which these Anointed Ones shamelessly flaunt with little or no discretion.

What of these charlatans’ followers? What drives them to idolize men or women who gladly don the trappings of a Pastor yet lack the pastoral conviction, compassion, education and experience needed to effectively lead their flocks? Aren’t they similarly seduced, when they choose to follow man instead of God?

Star-struck women, single and married, place lascivious Pastors on pedestals, becoming their willing mistresses, even bearing their illegitimate children.

Star-struck men, the Haves and the Have-Nots idolize arrogant, prideful Pastors whom they worship like heroes, sometimes emulating the very same sinful behaviors as their heroes.

In the face of such slavish devotion, why wouldn’t it be easy for these so-called Men of God to fleece their flocks? Is it a sign of the End Times that true Spirit-filled men of God are being overshadowed by the Great Pretenders? How shameful is it The Good Shepherds of Christendom are being gradually pushed aside, in favor of the Slick Ricks that unashamedly prey on the disabled, elderly, poor, illiterate and superstitious.

So lucrative is the soul-saving business that some rival Pastors compete with each other in “winning souls to Christ” -- especially those with deep pockets.

They pull out all stops to lure new members into their folds, like spiders luring prey into their webs. Fiery, hypnotic sermons, tongue-speaking, all-night revivals, divine healings, signs and wonders, praise dancing, mass choirs and live bands bewitch willing members, prompting them to give and give generously. Then these greedy jackals rake in more millions selling books, CDs, DVDs, religious trinkets and miracles to their adoring audiences - many of whom remain destitute.

These Masters of Deceit use several methods to gain total and absolute control over their members’ minds and pockets. One method is to rate members on how many “good works” they do and the amount of tithes they give.

Generous tithers and good workers are showered with praise and special privileges. Lesser tithers and not-so good workers are publicly identified, made to feel guilty for not giving more money and may be shunned, all of which is contrary to Scripture. Such tactics breed jealousy and resentment among members of the “Out Group” and sinful pride among members of the “In Group”, with each vying for the attention of the Author of Confusion…their Pastor.

Such Pastors are also adept at coercing their members into believing false doctrines and teachings that directly contradict Scripture, one of which is that in order to be saved you must be a member of their church or their denomination. To maintain total control over their congregations, some Pastors decree that all non-members must be shunned, even close family and friends. Strict dress codes, mandatory church attendance and performance, restrictions against attending different churches, disciplinary consequences for members who question the Pastor's authority are all used as control measures.

In other churches, rules on where members can go, what they can read and listen to, public shaming, threats, condemnation and peer pressure are other disturbing methods used by unscrupulous Pastors to gain and maintain authoritarian control of their congregations and their money.

But then comes the day these shameless ones fall from grace - victims of their megalomania. How do they feel when their depravity is uncovered? How do they hold their heads up, when they are bowed down with shame and embarrassment? Do they care how their members feel, when their adored Pastor is looked upon with disgust, disappointment and disenchantment, despite his/her tearful pleas for forgiveness and mercy?

When Christians look to flawed men and women for moral and spiritual sustenance, they set themselves up for a fall - a soul-killing fall. Why? Because these so-called Anointed Ones are human, and being human, their flaws will eventually appear, leaving their members reeling with disappointment, disbelief and a sense of loss, in the aftermath of their Pastors' disgrace.

So why aren’t more voices of True Men and Women of God raised in collective protest against such shenanigans?

Why do they hesitate and/or refuse to speak out about these wolves in sheep's clothing?

Do they feel bound by Psalm 105:15: "Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm.” (KJV)?

A belief in One Greater Than Yourself is a wondrous thing. It gives you spiritual strength in times of doubt, need and betrayal. It comforts and restores your soul, in the face of adversity. It is also your very own private therapist – free of charge. It should not be bastardized by immoral Pastors intent on capitalizing on Christian beliefs and using those beliefs to enrich themselves and their cronies.

The Bible teaches that the truth shall set you free, so why not free yourself from the clutches of greedy, self-serving pastors who covet power, money and fame at your expense?

A discerning Christian has eyes wide-open but a passive Christian is ripe for manipulation and exploitation.

Name changed*


Copyright © 2014 zboyd

Women...

...aren't children...unless you're into child marriage;

...are HELPMATES not THE HELP...and should be treated as such.

Men and "Submissive" Women: Exploding the Myth

Men date women, arguably, who reflect themselves and satisfy their ideals of what a woman should be. That is why it is fairly common for men to date women with the same educational or professional background, for instance. It goes without saying that smart men find smart women attractive or that employed men would also want their partner to be professionally employed as well. Imitation is the best form of flattery so it is not surprising that men seek women who are mirror images of themselves.

Men also seek women who fulfill their ideals of what an ideal woman should be. This decision is not solely determined by one's personal inclinations but is also determined by one's environment -- what sort of gender messages was prevalent in society, for instance, and by social ideologies. Thus, these two aspects frame the process of deliberation in choosing a partner. Arguably, the reason why men might choose "submissive" women is tied up in how men perceive themselves and how they interpret social ideologies of gender roles.

Some men are caught up in and perhaps even devoted to the myth of the submissive woman. It should be stated from the beginning that the image of a submissive woman is largely created by one's imagination. She is created at the moment that a man conceptualizes the woman as the "second sex." She cannot exist outside of his imagination. That is why some men may find themselves vigilantly reaffirming the myth by treating his partner in a certain way that reassures him that she is, indeed, his object to own. Men are constantly devising new strategies to keep women in their place. He tries every attempt to align her perception of herself with his own ideals of what a woman should be. To be sure, it is not easy to keep this myth alive and man must make every effort to ensure that the woman does not break free his grasp.

This myth, despite its elusiveness, has very real aspects. Men who worship this myth believe that a woman should submit to the man, should be obedient and docile, and should know her place as a lesser being. It is true; some women may have these qualities. However, the man who is interested in the submissive woman interprets these qualities differently. A woman may treasure these qualities while a man simply exploits them. These qualities may very well define a woman's sense of self -- but the important factor is that it is up to her to define her sense of self -- she is free. When a man perceives a woman as submissive, he is imposing his definition on another's selfhood.

This leads us to a related question -- why would a man desire a submissive woman?

It is because a man who loves the weak is weak himself. A man who is secure in his masculinity would not feel threatened by a strong woman. A man who is uncertain about his worth belittles others so that he may feel as if he were strong. Only a man who is anxious to prove himself would treat women as if they were lesser beings. Thus, men who seek submissive women or imagines submissive women have experienced a profound lack of self-esteem, self-worth and have low self-images.

Submissive women, quite simply do not exist. Or at least they did not exist before a man defined them as such. Some may argue that such women do exist, particularly women from less developed nations who are supposedly waiting to be rescued by a man from the first world. This is entirely a product of one's imagination, fueled by the hegemonic discourse that defines less developed nations vis-a-vis the first world and by the lack of respect the first world has shown to less developed nations. One of the most egregious mistakes a man can make is to assume that women from less developed nations are more submissive. To be sure, one must realize that there are important cultural differences. A woman who prides herself on being a good wife and mother in one country is valorized by her culture and not at all considered submissive whereas a man from another country may wrongly interpret her behavior as an indication of her submissiveness to him. Thus, a man's search for a submissive woman in a less developed country is futile -- he will never find what he is looking for. It is only when he begins to imagine a woman as submissive will he be satisfied.

Ideologies of gender also affect a man's perception of women. In contemporary societies, women are more independent than ever. They now have the option to be both a mother and a professional. The glass ceiling, while it still exists, is challenged on many fronts. Women now have many freedoms that were previously denied to them. One of the most interesting and perhaps disturbing arguments for the "problems" caused by feminism is that women are no longer feminine enough. Men feel as they are being emasculated and that their sense of self is jeopardized. Some men seek the company of women from less developed countries in the hopes that he will find a more "traditional"-- read "submissive" woman. The search for a traditional woman is a metaphor for the perceived emasculation of men. The man is less interested in traditional women and more interested in saving his sense of masculinity.

Men who seek submissive women reveal more about themselves than the women that they are with.

Submissive women are largely a product of the male imagination and speak volumes about their lack of security and low self-image.

Only when men realize that women are worthy of the same respect and rights accorded to men can they break free from limits of their imagination.

Source: e-harmony.com / psychologytoday.com

"Africans, African-Americans and Island folks have a love-hate relationship between each other. Rather than love each other like sisters and brothers from different mothers, they'd rather hate each other, not realizing their real enemy is the same villain, who tried to impose their culture on us and rob us blind." - Professor William E. Brilliantine

When some Africans, African Americans and Islanders immigrate to the States, they already have preconceived notions of African Americans and how they live their lives -- some positive -- some negative.

I remember when an African American family sponsored three university exchange students from Ghana, Nigeria and Trinidad. Shortly after they arrived, the students asked to go sightseeing. So the wife, her husband and their two teenaged kids gladly obliged. But, after about three hours of visiting the usual tourist sights, they noticed that each of the students seemed quiet and looked a bit disappointed, as the day wore on. When asked what was wrong, the Ghanaian student said that they wanted to see the 'real' America.

The real America? they asked the students.

Yes, the real America! they answered.

Well, it seems these students wanted to see the real 'African America'. They even had a list!

They wanted to see 'holes-in-the-wall' (seedy 'hood nightclubs), ghettos/slums, gang members, 'love peddlers', drug dealers, 'skanks' and 'chicken heads' (street names for women of low virtue and morals) the projects, a welfare office, a car wash (like the one featured in the movie 'Car Wash", a chicken restaurant, a barbeque joint, an African American cemetery, some graves where gang members were buried, a strip club, a liquor store, a jail or prison, homeless African Americans, a watermelon patch, a 'hood grocery store or convenience store, a pig farm, an outside basketball court, and other places where African Americans usually hung out -- all the people, places and things they saw in the movies, on TV, in the news or heard about from other Africans and Islanders who had traveled abroad.

Well, to say the students' sponsors were floored is an understatement. They were literally speechless. The wife said her husband cut the sightseeing trip short, went back to the house, sat each of the students down and, gently but firmly did his best to clear up the their misconceptions and stereotypical views of African Americans and their overall lives. Believe it or not, the wife said, the students seemed even more disappointed. When asked what was wrong this time, the Nigerian student said they wanted to takes lots of pictures to show their families and friends that the real African America really existed but were beginning to doubt there even was real African America. If this kept up, they would have nothing to show for their year in America and, everyone would think they're lying about being in America.

So, other trips were quickly planned by the sponsors, where what the students wanted to see, primarily, was wisely balanced with what they should also see regarding African Americans and the lives they lived. The students toured African American museums, local businesses, weekend festivals, stage/dance performances, church concerts, middle-class-upper-class neighborhoods, the Black Chamber of Commerce, a couple of HBCUs where they met African American students and Professors, attended blues and jazz concerts, a Buffalo Soldiers' parade, an African-American circus performance and other such events.

The sponsors later said that these sightseeing events were eye-opening to these students, as well as to themselves, because it revealed just how much the media and traveled Africans and Islanders influenced how home-based African and Island immigrants viewed African-Americans in general.

On the flip side...

When African-Americans venture out of the States to Africa or the islands, they also have preconceived notions of Africans and Islanders too and how they live their lives, some positive, some negative.

Some years back, a local African-American professional social club organized a month-long trip to visit Ghana, Nigeria, Senegal, Jamaica, and the Bahamas. They saved for a year. According to the story, they were so excited to be in the Motherland, going to and fro, sightseeing on tour buses, visiting local markets, taking in local festivals, enjoying local foods and dancing the night away in the local nightclubs.

However, about a week before they were to leave Senegal for their island tour, some African-Americans seemed a bit let-down by their visit to the Motherland. Why? They complained that they had yet to see the 'real' Africa.

The real Africa? their host asked.

Yes, the real Africa! they answered.

These African-Americans wanted to see the real Africa; in their minds, African wildlife (zebras, elephants, lions, hyenas), villages where 'real' Africans lived in mud and straw huts, half-naked Africans walking around with plates in their lips and bones through their noses, fertility dances, witch doctors and tree houses where Africans lived like 'Tarzan', 'Jane' and 'Boy' (characters in a series of films) and 'feeding stations' (places where NGOs fed malnourished Africans) -- all the people, places and things they saw in the movies, on TV, in the news or heard of from White Americans and Europeans who had traveled to Africa and the islands of Jamaica and the Bahamas.

But, they found it a bit difficult to reconcile their pre-conceived notions (expectations?) with what their eyes saw, up close and personal. They couldn't believe the Africa of clean contemporary cities, high-rise office buildings, tree-lined paved streets, well-dressed and bejeweled African people, cell phones everywhere, hair salons, barber shops, hospitals, nice restaurants, fancy cars everywhere, clothing boutiques, banks, hotels, furniture stores, jewelry stores, shopping malls and beautifully kept neighborhoods.

In response to the African Americans' question about seeing the real Africa, their Senegalese host then asked them a probing question: "If you invited my family for a visit, would you take us on a tour of your ghettos, your projects, show us homeless African-Americans, gang bangers and drug dealers?"

Well...that was enough to shush them up and the question of seeing the real Africa was never asked again, for the remainder of the their time in Senegal.

Later on, or so the story goes, these African-Americans reluctantly admitted that their trip to the Motherland was an eye-opening experience, not only to them but their hosts too, because it revealed just how much the media and the stories of White Americans and Europeans influenced how African-Americans viewed Africans in general.

As a result of their visit to the Motherland, these African-Americans were much more educated and open-minded. Never once did they ask their island hosts to see the real Jamaica or Bahamas...in their minds...shanty towns, marijuana fields, yard boys/yardies, Rastafarian villages and voodoo ceremonies. They just set out to enjoy the island sights, people, food and nightlife. However, they did say, later on that they were asked on several occasions, being from Texas, if they had an oil well in their backyard, own a gun, ride horses, own cowboy boots and eat barbeque every day.

So...after years of casual observation, I've concluded that Africans/Islanders and African-Americans are more alike than different, when it comes to preconceived notions and stereotypes, whether they admit it to themselves or not...something present in almost all ethnic groups.

Other side observations...shallow as they are:

1. Swag/Strut/It Factor. Nigerian men (more than any other group of African men) AND African-American men possess a certain 'air' about them. It's in the confident way they carry themselves, their walk and the set of their shoulders. Over here, we call it the 'Soul Strut'. It usually shows up in little African-American boys between 6 and 10 years old. By 12, they usually have it down pat. This is one of the main ways some closely observant African-Americans can spot an African or Island male -- they lack that 'Soul Strut'. But within a year's time, it usually shows up and is usually fully pronounced, by the second year. After that, it's hit and miss, unless they open their mouths -- not so much, if they are born over here or immigrated at a very young age.

2. Style/Flash. Whether out on the town, in the boardroom or just chillin', Nigerians and African-Americans can put it down, when they dress. Both turn heads, when they walk down the street, decked out in all their finery. Island folks and other Africans come close but Nigerians and African-Americans rule. Just saying!

3. Sweet-Mouthed Men. Ahhh..the sweet talk. Some Nigerian and African-American men can literally talk the panties off women and the greenbacks out of their purses, although some women will hotly deny it.

4. Party Central. Nigerians and African-Americans throw the BEST dances and parties and their nightclubs are usually packed to the rafters. They can party on 'til the break of dawn. And it's not unusual to see other Africans and Islanders in attendance. Over here, they even have some after-hours joints that only open from 3am-6am, for those who still have some party in them.

5. Mutual Curiosity. It's a bit amusing to see how some Africans, African Americans and Islanders come out of 'lurk mode' when one or another, are under cyber attack and, invariably, end up asking each other: "If you hate Africans, Islanders and African-Americans so much, then what are you doing on this website?"

From my observations, the answer is simple -- all are curious about each other. They want to know all about these people who share their same complexions but are culturally different. They want to know each other and learn from each other. But sadly, this curiosity is over-shadowed by misconceptions, myths, cultural stereotypes and the 'Good Negro/Bad Negro Syndrome which leads to some of the worse online wars on the internet. Some wars are so intense, administrators and moderators are forced to close some threads, so as to extinguish these flame wars. At times, a visitor may think they've stumbled onto the African, African American and Island version of Storm Front.

Yes, it's that bad at times!

What's interesting, though, is there seems to be some sort of love-hate relationship between some Africans, African-Americans and Islanders, whether they've immigrated or not...or admit it or not.

Even more interesting is what one group says they hate and quickly denigrate about another group seems to crop in their very own group. This is very evident in States like New York, Illinois, Texas and California which boast large populations of African immigrants, with Nigerians, Ghanaians, Kenyans, Jamaicans, Haitians, Cubans and other Islanders, leading the pack.

It's a veritable potpourri of Afro-Caribbean Soul, best savored slowly.

Eyes and ears don't lie.

Brutal honesty, a calm, rational head and an open heart may reveal the commonalities between African, African Americans and Islanders -- that which many already sense or know.

Or maybe they don't.

There's a thin line between love and hate.

The question is...on which side of the line will you stand?


Copyright © 2014 Zboyd

njokusboy: Ur beef are misplaced, it should be with the full grown women who allow themselves to be manipulated....
Atleast, no guns were pointed at their cranium....

My observation?

True, no guns were pointed at their cranium...just the fingers of Naija society.

Btw...over here in the States, some single women also face the same finger-pointing...just not to the degree you see in societies like Nigeria.

Thanks for responding!

Until recent times, eminently marriageable women were not difficult to come by. And one could suppose that it was also the case in terms of finding eminently marriageable men. It was a time when marriage was considered a union between two self-respecting families. Today, more so in the last two decades, things have changed. But of course, things have been changing since the dawn of time.

The Nigerian society, as with societies elsewhere, is not socially and culturally stagnant. We see the effects of westernization and globalization and other internal and external factors that pull and push at the larger African society. And no where are these factors more pronounced than in Nigeria. In the next couple of weeks, one may make submissions on such cause-effects; but for now, the focus is on the idea, and the futility, of going to Nigeria to find a wife.

Today, finding a wife -- not just a lover, a mistress, a concubine or a booty call -- can be a difficult task. This has been true especially in the last ten or so years with the deepening poverty, pervasive hopelessness, scarce political goods and services, cultural and social desperation, and the widening gulf between the rich and the poor. And all these, in so many ways, have contributed to the desperate need to go into exile or to find a mate who lives abroad.

In spite of the current putrid and abysmal conditions, Nigeria is still home to some of the most disciplined, well-behaved, well-schooled and well-brought up women. To find, to meet or be introduced to such women can be challenging. In order words, how to find them or be found is not as easy as it used to be -- at least not in any of the big cities or medium sized towns and villages. Therefore, in places like Lagos, Ibadan, Jos, Kaduna, Port Harcourt, Zaria, Enugu and Aba, we find that more men are postponing marriage.

Some men are postponing marriage because, amongst other reasons, they do not have the financial wherewithal. Although financial stability is not the sole reason for marriage, it is a major factor most men, and women, consider before they agree to a marital union. In today’s Nigeria, five groups of men have all the money they need, or at least enough money to spoil a woman five times over: the politicians; traders; 419ers and the dream merchants; bankers and investors; and the continental hustlers.

A typical Nigerian senator, governor, banker, 419er or hustler will not hesitate throwing 10, 15 or 25 thousand dollars at the feet of his lover. As part of the package she may also be entitled to a car, a house or apartment, two or three foreign trips a year, clothing allowance and whatever else that needs to be done to keep her happy and wishful. She may or may not be in college, she may or may not have a job, she may or may not be older than 20. This sort of pact has gone beyond sugardaddism; it is now a way of life.

It is to this pool of women Nigerians living overseas are likely to go home to when searching for a wife: women who have a sense of entitlement; women who are used to being showered with hundreds and thousands of dollars at an instant; women who control men with the allure of sex; women who wears some of the finest clothes the best boutiques in Dubai, London, Paris, Tokyo, New York and Berlin can offer; and women who drive some of the best cars in Nigeria.

These are women who are used to a life of freedom, risks and opulence. What does a typical Nigerian living anywhere in the West have to offer such women? Mind you, the typical Nigerian living overseas (like me) is a struggling man: living from paycheck-to-paycheck. Some of us work 40-80 hours a week; we work on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays and on holidays and even the graveyard shifts. We have nothing to offer these Sisi Eko, yet, we desire them.

Depending on where you live in the United States, if you make less than $80,000 per annum, do not waste your time chasing after these Sisi Eko. You are not man enough to man these women. And when it comes to sex, you will have nothing to teach them. First, most of them no longer have a sense of wonder; second, they have been poked every which way; and third, you may be dealing with a blackhole.

There are no reliable data that points to the frequency of divorce within the Nigerian enclaves in the US, Canada, UK and elsewhere in the west. What is however clear, is that, the numbers are significant. For instance, casual conversations with friends and friends of friends in the United States show that 4 out of every10 marriages folds within 3 years, 6 in 5 years, and 9 in 7 years. The wahala starts within 9 months of arriving in the US; and it reaches its boiling point once the Alien Registration (Green) Card is received.

Not minding what I have submitted, some men are able to find true love with these Sisi Eko. Nonetheless, I would rather you find a wife wherever you may be living in the West. If you are currently dating a Nigerian, an African, African-American, Indian, German or Korean, please marry her. If you would rather marry someone from same or similar background, then, by all means stay away from the Sisi Eko. Something else: don’t go to Church looking for a Church-girl; the odds favor you in the Vegas strip joint.

And now the men. My female friends have also allowed that finding a man, a real Nigerian man for a husband is a problem the womenfolk have also been dealing with for ages. Vera Ezimora, that fine and free-spirited writer it was who summarized it this way:

“Marrying a Nigerian man is like buying a car from an auction. What you see is NOT what you get. What you see is a fine man who promises to give you the world and beyond; what you see is an honest and mature man who is secure in you and what you both share. What you get is a man who cannot control his sexual urges and wants sex on demand; what you get is an insecure man who panics at the mere mention of another man’s name. What you want is for him to change, and what you do not get is change.”

Vera went on to say that “Investing in marriage is like buying a computer out of the auction; it is not guaranteed to work, there is no warranty, a return policy is non existent, a refund is most definitely out of the question, you are guaranteed that tons of viruses would be visiting you and crashing your system, the price you pay for it has nothing to do with its quality or the services it would render, hackers would definitely be accessing your computer, no company would want to insure it because they see it as a definite “liability”, and it will come with missing parts that cannot be replaced because they are off the market.”

As for me, well, I am still at my game: going to art and music festivals; feasting my eyes at women on the dance floor; reading and catching up with movies. Every so often, however, I cook for friends and family members. But mostly, I talk intermestic politics over a glass of wine and a bowl of pounded yam and egusi soup with assorted meats…still single and available and looking for a wife for down the road.

No Sisi Eko for me, though. Oh no…just the neighborhood girl.

Source: Article by Sabella Sabidde for saharareporters.com


What do you think of this author's views?

Nigeria, already the world’s sixth most populous nation with 167 million people, is a crucial test case, since its success or failure at bringing down birthrates will have outsize influence on the world’s population. If this large nation rich with oil cannot control its growth, what hope is there for the many smaller, poorer countries? Lifelong residents like Peju Taofika and her three granddaughters inhabit a room in a typical apartment block known as a “Face Me, Face You” because whole families squeeze into 7-by-11-foot rooms along a narrow corridor. Up to 50 people share a kitchen, toilet and sink — though the pipes in the neighborhood often no longer carry water.

Read more: http://www.nigeriapolitico.com/rapidriseinpopulation.html

Men have biological clocks too.


Does Age Affect Male Fertility?

http://infertility.about.com/od/causesofinfertility/f/maleagefertile.htm
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dads’ ages affect birth defects

http://www.idsnews.com/article/2014/02/dads-ages-affect-birth-defects?id=96897
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Risks of Older Men Having Babies

Read more: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/44641.php
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Older Men Make Bad Sperm

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/older-men-make-bad-sperm/
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What's That Ticking Sound? The Male Biological Clock

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303936704576400161673484394
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

'Jane' is a beauty; a sight for sore eyes. In her thirties, Jane who comes from Imo State can boast of the modern equivalents of what Chinua Achebe described as ‘solid personal achievements’ in his novel THINGS FALL APART: a sound education, a well-paying job and lucrative private practice on the side; a deluxe apartment in Ikoyi and a car.

Jane is the solid backbone of her family; she set up her unemployed brother in business and takes care of her parents. You would think that Jane’s family and friends will leap over the moon whenever her name is mentioned. Alas, this is not the case. You see, Jane has committed the ‘ultimate crime’: remaining unmarried at thirty-plus.

Our paths crossed years back when we met at the university to register for our post-graduate diploma programmers. Jane’s intelligence and warmth impressed me, though we were not in the same department. A strictly platonic friendship which was enhanced by the fact that we are from the same state developed.

‘Why does our society treat women like rags simply because they do not affix ‘MRS.’ before their names?’ she asked me over lunch in one of the school’s cafeteria. I had no honest answer for her. Poor Jane was not looking for intellectual succour; her Bible-quoting mother was close to consulting their village dibia to find out if some enemy had put a spell on their daughter.

Jane’s question flashed across my mind after reading a blood-curdling account of how a thirty-eight year old woman, Bolanle Abiola, slaughtered her mother for allegedly obstructing her chances of getting married. (SUNDAY SUN, APRIL 8 2012. p.10). In brief: Bolanle and her male accomplice showed up at the old woman’s and she welcomed them, thinking her daughter had brought home a suitor. In the night, during a downpour, the cruel couple ‘murdered sleep’, thus fulfilling Bolanle’s past threats to deal with her mother for ‘tying up’ her marital chances. This allegation was brought to light by Abudu Abiola, Biola’s elder brother, following his sister’s arrest. Bolanle allegedly owned up to the killing.

While this account does not presuppose Bolanle’s guilt or innocence - that is the law’s business - I have been disturbed since I read it and followed a programme run on the story by Nigeria Info F.M. Radio on April 9.

First, why must any human being be defined by his or her marital status? Is an unmarried woman less of a human being than a married one? Nobody should try to convince me with misinterpretations of the holy books or outrageous cultural beliefs. Even the Bible makes it clear that marriage is voluntary. Unless you accept other texts that seek to explain Jesus Christ’s earthly life such as ‘The Da Vinci Code’, he was single while on this side.

‘Marriage is the crowning glory of a woman.’ ‘A woman without a husband is incomplete.’ You hear these statements from our parents, even supposedly educated ones. This reveals one factor about the typical Nigerian, nay Black African: for all his claims to Westernization, he is largely bound to his ancestors’ way of life. This is not necessarily bad because one must have roots with which to grow in the world. But then we tend to have selective memories of the so-called glorious ways of our fathers. For example, how many modern Igbo will recollect that in certain traditional communities that had priestesses to powerful deities, usually the earth-goddess (Ala), these female ministers were single, probably as a result of their calling? Try telling that to parents who argue that it is a taboo to be an unmarried woman.

In this day and age many crazy teachings and practices are being passed around in our society. Satan and all his demons must be so occupied in Nigeria that I wonder when they have time to perpetuate mischief elsewhere. Not doing well in business? Demonic attack remote-controlled by your grandma in the village. Not married if you are a girl and over twenty (in some areas, below twenty)? Satan is masking your face from suitors through an enemy, including-as Bolanle’s case would indicate- your own mother! As a Christian I do not doubt diabolical operations on earth but I postulate that the greatest diabolical mayhem unleashed on most Nigerians is on their reasoning.

There is no justification for pressuring anyone, male or female, to get married. Marriage carries a lot of challenges and is a ballgame which some people, in all sincerity, are not prepared for. It has nothing to do with money in the bank, degrees, love for children, religion, etc. There will always be some people, though a minority, who take a dim view of surrendering their identity or freedom to someone else for life.

Then there are people who have been hurt so much in what Don Williams, the country music legend, described as ‘love’s endless wars’. Do they deserve further hurt? Sadly, our sisters often get the short end of the stick in these brawls of the heart. If a woman comes through one and decides to keep her sanity by remaining single-either unmarried or divorced- her right should be respected. Same for men.

The hogwash about immorality and promiscuity being prevalent among unmarried women is just that: hogwash. Who has the data to prove that in good old Naija unmarrieds/divorcees are more licentious than the married ones? One must not generalize or use personal moral parameters to judge others. A woman who is in a relationship with a man, perhaps bears his baby, but is not married to him may not be more immoral than the married woman who sneaks into the pastor or Alfa’s bed for ‘counselling.’ A guy who cares for his kid and the mother in all aspects but is sincere enough to realize that they cannot live as man and wife is, in my opinion, more honourable than a married lecher.

Marriage is beautiful and if you get married for the right reasons, it is great. But quite a few people are finding what we married folks have outside the institution: love, companionship, appreciation, family, etc. Must they be condemned?

The organs of the Nigerian state are blatantly anti-unmarried people, especially women. A single lady, to my knowledge, cannot post bail in our police stations. State assistance is denied unmarried women. The society’s mindset is set against a woman who opts out of an abusive marriage or worse, refuses to marry. Even in some Christian circles girls who opt for reverend sisterhood and its stated celibacy are looked upon doubtfully. Ironically, many of the doubtful eyes are female.

I am not discouraging marriage. But it must not be the beginning and end of anyone’s life. Havoc is being wrecked on our society because of the marriage-at-all-cost mindset. Check out the bogus marriage/dating agencies in town; a number of frustrated 419 fraudsters have resorted to online marriage scams to fleece our ladies of cash and sex. Quite a few well to do women who in saner climes would walk tall and get hitched on a basis of mutuality end up bowing to and hooking up with egoistical, complex-riddled men. Though our cultural setting makes things fairly easier for men yet, at a certain stage, if they refuse to marry society unleashes its fangs on them.

Last I heard from Jane, her mother ceased developing high blood pressure when she visited home with a Ghanaian boyfriend. The old woman is busy putting together a marriage list for the intended bridegroom. I pray whatever Jane and Kwame share is strong enough to end in a marriage so that both mother and daughter can have some peace. But what if it does not? Oh dear!.com

Source: romancemeetslife
___________
First published by Henry Onyema - Naijastories.com
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More?

Nigerian Ladies Worry Over Scarcity Of Men - Romance - Nairaland

https://www.nairaland.com/1428490/nigerian-ladies-worry-over-scarcity
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What Nigerian Women Will Do To Get Married - Fact or Fiction?

"Statistics show that only 3% of single women of marriageable age in Nigeria are undisturbed by their lack of a spouse! The other 97% would do just about anything to become Mrs. Somebody''. As we read on, we are going to see some rather unorthodox things Nigerian women will do in their quest to bag a husband! Some are bizarre, some are skanky and some are downright sad but if you are willing to try anything and getting a husband is the only activity left on your bucket list, you might want to try a few! (Men beware).

Read More: http://kevindjakpor..com/2014/01/what-nigerian-women-will-do-to-get.html#.VAhk2MHn_IU
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Life At 30 When You're Not Married - Family - Nairaland

https://www.nairaland.com/678/life-30-when-youre-not
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Keeping it real with Naija - Nigerian Women Over 30 Not Married Why


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEv2f8YK9nk&feature=player_detailpage
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Why some Nigerian girls prefer foreign males

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=k_hFbNP5KMY

coogar: you nigerian women set those standards - don't lump nigerian men into it.

Usually, women are not calling each other old hags and expired goods - men are.

Btw...I'm not a Nigerian woman...but as a woman...I find it highly insulting and offensive.

TV01: It's either you have beef or are talking out of ignorance.

The bible is pretty clear
- marriage is pretty much the default
- it's the duty of family to prepare their sons and daughters for marriage
- there is conduct - submission, love etc. - expected from spouses once wed.

Spouselessness is not a church issue. If you so choose, marry, if you like, don't marry. It is not an impediment too, or a criteria for Gods love or salvation in Christ.

There is a fraudulent and parallel system of religion out there. If you mindlessly follow it without seeking God for yourself, there will be consequences.

So which are you?


TV

^{CC I hear you about pastor loffas 0! "MyPas" girls l call them. Everything is " my pastor says" . I had to deal with so many of them on my journey to marriage. Sheesh!}

Who am I?

A woman who knows her own mind and follows her own counsel, because I'm me and know my own needs, and detest being spoon-fed beliefs I don't believe in and expected to follow, without question.

It's said that religion is the opiate of the masses but I refuse to become addicted.

And I don't appreciate you insinuating that I'm an atheist or ignorant.

Disagree with me, if you will, but do not insult my intelligence.

I don't know why some men try to insult women who challenge their opinions, as a way of shutting them up, aka 'keeping them in their places'.

That approach has never worked with me and never will.

And...if you deny it...you're outright lying.

pickabeau1: Then your points are clear

Your initial post sounded like a rant on Christianity coupled with an chant on its ineffectiveness in finding men for women

You and anyone else should ask yourself...

What is it about Nigerian society that deems women less than because they're unmarried?

What drives Naija men to refer to single women over-30 as old hags and expired goods, especially if women challenge (disagree) with them?

What makes some Nigerians assume over-30 women are lesbians?

What makes over-30 women lie about their age?

Why...

...is there such a double standard regarding over-30 women, compared to over-30 men?

...do some married women look down their noses at unmarried women over-30?

...do some women throw up single women's unmarried state in their faces, as in "At least I'm married!", especially in the midst of arguments?

...do so many unmarried women think they're 'incomplete' without a 'Mrs.' in front of their names?

...are so many women living lives of quiet desperation, lonely and depressed because they're not married?

...do some women deplore their unmarried state so much that they're willing to marry men other women wouldn't even consider?

This is the type of social conditioning that drives single women into the arms of predatory pastors and their minions and pushes them to do all kinds of outrageous things. And some single women will do just about anything, to end their unmarried state and proudly claim their 'Mrs.' title. And they will hold on to it for dear life, even if the marriage turns out to be unfulfilling and/or disastrous. For them, divorce is not an option.

The only thing worse is being married and remaining childless.

But that's another issue entirely.

bigfrancis21: Apparently, you are the one making up things from a simple passage directed at describing Nigerians I have observed in the same America, and not generalization whatsoever of sorts. Never did I mention any other black group in my post. How frequently would you see a Nigerian man dressed in baggy shirts, baggy jeans, fancy sneakers, dreadlocks, with miami cap worn backwards compared to more refined dressing and visual appearance?

I never said all black men in refined dressing are Nigerians. Rather I posited that Nigerian men in US tend to be more refined in dressing. Given the aforementioned and based on my observation here in US when you see a black man in refined dressing and responsible appearance, there is some good chance that he is Nigerian. Any objective thinking person would agree with me on this.

I am grossly disappointed at your inability to capture such a simple message disguised under well-meaning verbose but equivocating avowal. If by now you still don't get it, you just might never get it. Go back once more and re-read my post, this time reading it slowly and digesting every piece of it holistically as you were taught in 3rd grade.

Suggestion: You need to get out and around more.

If it wasn't for GQ (Gentlemen's Quarterly) and magazines like Ebony, Jet and Maxim, just where would such 'refinement' originate?

It's not just slang and swag that some Nigerian/African men emulate, from African American men.

Btw...how can you formulate such a mindset, comparing such a small population of Nigerian men to over millions of African American men who can put it down when it comes to 'refined' dressing?

In the real world over here, as an African American man, serious about his business, thuggish dressing does not necessarily bar him making millions.

Example: Russell Simmons, co-founder of Def Jam Records, who discovered artists like LL Cool J, the Beastie Boys, and Run-D.M.C.

He doesn't dress in a refined manner...and...he's filthy rich!

TV01: Zboyd,

Your undertone of beefing Christianity is still quite evident .



There are also men in this position, but – and listen clearly now;
1. it’s not the remit of the body of Christ to find spouses for anyone
2. the women typically take their issue “husbandlessness” to the church, the church did'nt cause it



1. Brainwashing apart, why is church attendance a bad thing?
2. And why does being faithful and loving God require slavish church attendance or veneration of “robe-clad” ones?
3. I was faithful and loving towards God and God sent me a wife . So yes faith in and love towards God is rewarded.

Having said that, I also wonder about some of the practices that go on in some religious circles. I also believe that people who are truly faithful and love God will be safeguarded by Him.

So please don’t conflate God with perverse religious practices. If women lack an understanding of the marriage imperative, miss it, and then become so consumed by their desires, that they seek succour from religious charlatans, it’s not Gods fault 0! Sorry eh!


TV

I have no beef with Christianity.

I have a beef with predatory pastors and their minions who exploit single women who truly believe that God will send them a worthy man to marry...something taught to them in their specific churches...just like I was taught...but chose to ignore.

cococandy: In this day and age?
Frankly I think pity or whatever it is(empathy maybe) that we feel for such women is misplaced.
IMO.

I get real pissed when I see or hear ladies who go on and on about what their pastors say and instruct them to do.
IT IS IRRITATING!!!

The other day it was one church asking all the single ladies to wear wedding dresses to church on one particular sunday to claim their husbands by faith.
And they did.
What nonsense.

I roll my eyes if I'm in church and the pastor begins to pray about the husband hunt. It's silent pressure that these women buy into and begin to feel less than worthy when they don't get theirs 'soon'

Any lady who gets with that programme deserves not my pity.

Even the bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. It should be men running the race and hunting for that good thing with all their might.they should be the ones missing something when they aren't married because according to the bible the wife is a missing rib. right?

Makes you wonder what kind of low self esteem a woman will have to believe she's nothing without a man.
I don't waste my pity on anyone like that.
I understand the need for companionship and love and family.

But the truth is that in most cases that's not even the driving force behind these husband hunts. It's more about social status and belonging to the club. The self worth they then believe they've achieved by adding Mrs to their names.

And I don't blame pastorpreneurs who key into such weaknesses to make some cool cash.

It's so bad now that from 20yrs some girls are already beginning to get worried that their boyfriends haven't mentioned marriage once.

Not realising that the desperation pushes calm and rational guys away.
A normal pretty,educated and wifely lady will get loads of proposals(speaking from experience) that she'll be the one having her pick of men based on the qualities she wants.

But most of our ladies get too desperate early on in life and miss their golden opportunites with the hurry

Or they fail to see the good guys around them when they had hordes of men flocking all around.
Such that when they are older they begin to fret and pastors use them.

Which business man will miss such investment?
I blame such ladies

Very good observation!

gidjah: I'm female, married, have 4 kiddos (3 girls, 1 boy) and am a practicing Christian. I think for myself and discern for myself, rather than have someone spoon feed me what they want me to think, via their interpretation of a holy book or any other book designed to control my mind.

I can authoritatively tell u that ur sense of judgement came from the kind of church u attend.if u attend a true bible allround, balanced believing church,i am so sure ur pastor will not only frown over this dark painting u've got here,he might be tempted to want to chide u bad!do u have answers to d problem of childlesness or marital spouse people go tru?have bin able to manufacture a child or husband/wife to any one person before? IF U HAD BIN ATROUBLE LIKE THIS,AM SO SURE U WON'T like this .

First,the church I attend has always been a target of criticism, because our pastor dares to challenge the status quo. He doesn't subscribe to such beliefs...neither does he urge us, the congregants to do so. Most of the unmarried women that DO subscribe to such thinking came from other churches.

Second, do not subscribe to me what is not of me.

pickabeau1: Your points are not clear. In one breath you are condemning men of the flock who manipulate women and in another saying religion is responsible for them staying single. Which is it. The acts of the manipulating men are to be condemned. What I don't get is your stance that church will make a lady single.

First, I am condemning predatory pastors and their minions who use Christian women's fear of never marrying to s-xually exploit them and gain access to their money, in the name of 'sowing seeds', as a way of gaining blessings from God, in the form of God-sent men, worthy of marriage.

Second, it's the single women who have bought into this mindset that are now complaining...not me. I'm just critical of the teaching (belief).

Third, it's the women who formerly embraced this belief who are now shunning it...and finding it ineffective...especially women in their late 30, and 40s...who still have...NO HUSBANDS!

pickabeau1: Your response is quite long but i will endeavour to respond to your comments. You say you have no assumptions and basically report based on peoples accounts however your writeup misses those who actually get husbands. It also does not include the fact that some women are not just marriageable...What you have written is not secular but normal element of social interactionsI expect an individual to be well rounded not only spiritually but balanced in all aspects. Any one who is so church centric has issues. There are manipulators in the church and the aim is to get them out .. we are agreed on that. However saying that the church has no purpose in spousal selection makes you out as an alarmist
Being alarmist is not helping your crusade

Married women aren't the subject here. Why would they be?

If you want the true gist of something, go to the horse's mouth.

Some single women believed their pastors, when he told them to pray and wait for God to send them their future husbands...so they keep waiting...as the years keep marching by.

And...may I remind you that some men aren't marriage material either which some unfortunate women discover, only after they marry them.

As far as the secular world being a normal element of social interactions, I somewhat disagree.

Some Evangelical churches have such a tight hold on their congregants that the pastors control what they wear, what they read, what they listen to, where they can go, who they can socialize with AND who they can marry.

pickabeau1: zboyd...What is your opinion on this --- its your post

Different views are fine.

However, women are withering on the vine in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond waiting for God -- The Matchmaker to send them a man to marry.

To date -- they still have NO HUSBANDS!!!

At this rate, they may die virgins -- unmarried and childless -- not a grandchild in sight.

JEITO: first, sorry I miss took your gender.

Secondly, you are not a christian: perhaps you grew up in the baptist church because you had no choice being under your parent. But now that you have grown, you have chosen your path...

Thirdly, back your claim with proof; give us names of pastors or churches that you know that do such.

Finally, you don't believe it, doesn't automatically make it wrong...

First, who are YOU to determine who is a Christian or not? You possess no such discernment. Neither are you a mind reader. I have nothing to prove to you or anyone else. You can continue to believe I'm an atheist 'til the cows come home. Your opinion -- and you're welcome to it.

Second, I've posted a long page of proof. If you desire more, Google is your friend.

Third, when it really comes down to it, doesn't matter what I believe. It's what the women who are still waiting on God to send them a worthy man to marry believe...and some are in mutinous state.

Do you blame them?

I don't!

Lilimax: This your grouping sef?

Nope!

It's the author's grouping...for his survey purposes.

pickabeau1: Some of the points raised in your post are facts however while highlighting the priblems, you are silent on a solution or a way forward. Your premise is that being religious will not help your desire to be married. Can you provide statistics to back up your claim? You are discarding the relevance of being chaste as being 'pure' is deemed to be wasteful venture. You mention secular means of gettig husbands.. can you talk on them. I notice you are silent on what the women bring to a marriage but rather assume that single women just need to show up to be marraigeable and that those in church are doing something wrong.

The solution to stopping predatory pastors and their minions is simple -- get rid of them -- they are poison to the church.

I have no premises or assumptions. What I have are testimonies from single women in my church and other churches who are fed up with pastors telling them that God is the ultimate matchmaker, as they get older and older. The oldest ones are past childbearing age, still chaste (so they say), still lonely and increasingly bitter. For them, God has not been the ultimate matchmaker, as they are still single and childless and, in THEIR minds it WAS wrong for them to believe their pastors who told them that God was going to send them a worthy man to marry.

And...they still have NO HUSBANDS!

Secular means venturing out of the church environment and start joining clubs, social and charitable societies and organizations for singles, volunteering, etc., so as to meet marriageable men. If no such organizations exist, then start one. Sometimes, relocation is necessary.

Marriages are like snowflakes -- no two are alike -- or work alike. What works in one marriage may not work in another.

Generally, the keys to a healthy marriage are as follows:

Friendship - Love - Intimacy - Individuality - Good Communication & Listening Skills - Fun - Happiness - Willingness To Compromise - Fidelity -Honesty - Courtesy - Respect - Unselfishness - Patience - Affection - Sound Mind & Body - Willingness To Give Each Other Space - Ability to Fight Fair - Empathy - Children - Financial Health - Willingness To Pitch In Around The House


*Statistics don't tell the full story because not all women report their ordeals. They fear retribution, so they keep silent.

Below are links and news articles that provide some insight into what some women endure at the hands of exploitive men:

Re: S-xual Misconduct By Clergy In The U.S.


*Clergy S-xual Misconduct

"Nearly 15% percent of US ministers have admitted experiencing s-xual attraction on a daily basis toward those to whom they minister and 21% admit to a weekly attraction. That is approximately 120,000 ministers who deal with lust on a weekly basis and not simply lust on the street, but sexual attraction to counselees and parishioners, people who generally have their guards down, who may have affectionate feelings for the pastor, who being in a lustful frame of mind, may misinterpret that affection for passion. Clergy s-xual misconduct knows no denominational lines and is a well-documented problem in Protestant churches. The statistics are shocking. There are around 600,000 ministers in the US, meeting the needs of 300,000 Protestant congregations; 94% of churches have a membership between 100-500 members. Ten to fifteen percent of pastors have s-xual contact with someone other than a spouse while in the ministry, over 30 % of ministers engage in s-exual behavior they consider inappropriate and over 15% qualify as functionally addicted to internet pornography.

Furthermore, when clergy s-xual misconduct is discovered in a congregation, seven women, on average, have been victimized. Following the sensational stories profiling the sexual misdeeds of several prominent evangelical pastors in the 1980s and 1990s, often lurid stories that just could not be overlooked, a plethora of books and research studies shouted from the rooftops what had been quietly swept under the rug for ages – at the same time, clergy sexual misconduct is a real problem often with dire consequences for the life of clergy marriages and for the life of the local church as well."

Source: Introduction to Clergy Sexual Misconduct: A Systems Approach to Prevention, Intervention, and Oversight
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*Dispelling Myths: Adult Clergy S-xual Abuse

"...women must stop thinking of their abuser as clergy and a "man of God" but as a man who is a sexual predator. When the predator was manipulating and abusing he was not acting like clergy; therefore, she should not think of him as clergy. When clergy has s-x with a woman and then calls her a "LovePeddler" and the "cause of all his problems", that is not being a man of God. That is a manipulating s-xual predator who is turning the guilt to his victim and away from himself. In many cases the verbal manipulation is not that extreme but it is always there, turning the responsibility over to the woman resulting in the woman feeling dirty and like a seductress. This behavior is very common in s-xual abuse situations, the predator turning the blame to the victim so the victim will feel guilty and in turn stay silent."

Read more: http://educatingtoendabuse.com/id22.html
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*Clergy S-xual Abuse Awareness & Prevention Day

"Clergy sexual abuse is intolerable. Religious leaders wreak destruction when they abuse their power by treating others as objects of sexual gratification rather than precious ones created in God’s image. They destroy lives of people and congregations who put their trust in their leaders to represent God. And they destroy themselves in the process. Clergy sexual abuse happens in our own congregations, and in the lives of our friends and families, but we do not see it because we have not known to pay attention. May this campaign give people language we need. A s-xualized relationship between a leader and a congregant is not an affair, and it is not private. It is abuse of power, and it affects all of us. No more."—Diana R. Garland, Ph.D., Dean, Baylor School of Social Work; Waco, Texas

Read more: http://www.clergysexualabuseawarenessday.com/endorsements.asp
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*Poll Says 25% Of Women Have Been S-xually Harassed In Church

"A recent study shows that more than a quarter of Christian women have experienced some for of sexual harassment; one fourth of those polled also said it happened in a church or ministry setting. NationalChristianPoll.com surveyed a number of women on inappropriate behavior they have experienced in the past, such as sexual advances, touching or s-xual contact, suggestive jokes, or glances with s-xual overtones. According the survey, it noted that under the legal definition of s-xual harassment, these inappropriate behaviors need to occur in an employment setting and create either a hostile work environment for the individual enduring the behavior. However, outside the work environment, inappropriate behavior is often referred to as s-xual misconduct. The 25% is speculative, however, because it doesn't account for unreported cases because some women suffer in silence and are afraid to come forth."

Source: streamingfaith.com
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*S-xual Ethics In The Clergy

"Clergy attending a boundaries training were asked to anonymously answer seven questions about sexual ethics. Some of the findings are the following:
⦁41% of respondents personally know someone who reports being the victim of sexual misconduct by a ministerial leader.
⦁35% of respondents believe that it is morally okay for a single pastor to date one of his/her parishioners.
⦁44% of respondents personally know a clergyperson, including perhaps themselves, who has had s-xual relations with a member, other than their spouse, of his/her congregation."

Read more: http://umc-gbcs.org/faith-in-action/how-prevalent-is-clergy-sexual-misconduct
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*Churches, denominations bear responsibility for unethical clergy

"Ministers are responsible for their actions as individuals, sometimes by civil authorities and ultimately by God. But what responsibility, if any, should the local church and the denomination bear for unethical behavior of their pastors and other church ministers? That question is difficult for religious bodies that follow a congregational form of governance that emphasizes the autonomy of the believer and of the local church. That stance has become the primary basis for refusal by many groups, including many Baptist denominations, to compile lists of ministers caught in unethical or immoral behavior, particularly s-xual misconduct."

Read more: http://www.wordandway.org/content/view/3105/53/
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Re: S-xual Misconduct By Clergy In The UK

*Police investigate 169 staff over predatory s-xual behavior

"Police forces are being ordered to face up to corruption by officers who commit s-xual offences against vulnerable women and young people, as figures obtained by the Guardian reveal 169 officers and support staff are under investigation for predatory sexual behaviour. Senior officers from the 43 forces of England and Wales have held a high-level private meeting to address the problem of officers who abuse their position to make inappropriate s-xual advances or carry out s-xual assaults on members of the public, many of whom are victims of crime. The predatory s-xual behaviour of officers, ranging from molestion to voyeurism, was among the issues at the top of the agenda at the meeting in Chester, and forces have been told the service has to tackle the problem as a matter of urgency, the Guardian has been told.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/aug/09/police-169-staff-predatory-sexual-behaviour
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*Women shun find-a-husband prayers

KENYA - The Nigerian pastor who promised to find husbands for all was a dejected man on Sunday when Nairobi’s single women showed up in hundreds, and not the thousands he expected for his crusade. Pastor Chris Ojigbani immediately blamed the press for his plight. He accused them of misreporting his previous find-a-husband day of prayer which took place at the Kenyatta International Conference Centre in Nairobi last year.

Read more: http://africanculturedirect..com/2013/04/women-shun-find-husband-prayers.html
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Pastor Adeboye Sends A Warning To Singles In Marriage

NIGERIA - "Those of you who go to your pastor to pray for you and tell you who to marry if care is not taken, you will become a victim of lies. You are simply lazy. No pastor or prophet should tell you who to marry. They are to pray along with you, counsel and guide you using the Word of God. If you fail to pay the price to hear from God on that matter, you may be deceived. God can use your pastor or a genuine prophet of God to confirm what He had already told you. Many homes have been established on falsehood and that is why things are falling apart and the center can no longer hold. Some pastors are seriously into match-making. They have taken over from the Holy Spirit. Match-making remains God’s prerogative and He has not delegated it to any pastor."

Source: onlinenigeria.com
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*Nigerian COZA Abuja Senior Pastor in S-x Scandal

NIGERIA - Barely 48 hours after a former female congregant and worker of the COZA, Ese Walter, confessed to having had an affair with the church’s Senior Pastor, Biodun Fatoyinbo, another former female member has come out with claims of her alleged encounter with the pastor in a hotel in Lagos. Ms. Walter had sent social media alight after she alleged in a blog post that she had a week-long sexual relationship with the pastor during his London visit.

Read more: http://dailynewsnigeria.com/2013/08/post-example-5/
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*Naked Spinsters In Nigerian Church

A mysterious church with bizarre mode of worship is gaining popularity in Onitsha, Anambra state as many single ladies are flocking to it at night especially on Fridays for weekly prayers to hook-up young men.

According to investigations, the church known as Canaan Land Deliverance Church a.k.a Land of Miracles is located at Oraukwu hall, Fegge Onitsha & operates @ night mostly on weekend, especially on Fridays when they usually perform deliverance night. It was gathered that the owner of the “church” Pastor Ekenechukwu Chukwunyerem is an ex-drug addict, a convicted man. Investigations show that the church forces single girls seeking marriage to strip naked in an open church what they termed “breaking of marriage curses”.

These single ladies who are mostly aged forties & above, before being allowed to participate in d deliverance session are compelled to pay a consultation fee of N50,000:00 & after, miracles fees of N200,000:00 and above, depending on the caliber of husband that the lady is looking for. Those seeking wealthy & international businessmen are charged N200, 000 which will be paid on four installments depending on an individual’s financial capacity. For those seeking for an average wealthy man, you pay 120,000.

Those paying on installment are forced to take oath with the pastor using their menstrual blood which the pastor will collect & keep. If the individual refuses to pay, she will be visited with barrenness or instant death. Further investigation showed that the hallmark of these deliverance sessions is the pastor’s anointing of foreheads & private parts of these ladies proclaiming that any man who comes in contact with them that the Olive oil will glue them together, making them inseparable. The church also is said to have a fantastic prices for other spiritual services they render.

According to a prominent worshipper (a popular Onitsha transporter) who has left the church that people looking for the fruit of the womb are charged fees ranging from N250, 000 & above. While the church charged those looking for house spiritual cleansing is N100, 000 & above which must be preceded by a generous thanksgiving. He also said that those seeking for job are charged N50,000 & above depending on the nature of job. Those for prosperity in business is N100,000& above depending on the business but these are strictly on the condition under an oath that whatever proceeds from such is the property of the church.

Source: allafrica.com / August 20, 2014 UPDATE

Why are many African women abroad now seriously looking for husbands or serious partners?

Why are they single in the first place?

What kind of men are they looking for?

How do they feel being single?

To understand and unlock these and other puzzling questions, Emmanuel Sarpong Owusu-Ansah, a lecturer and an investigative journalist in London, conducted a survey on 244 African women, married and unmarried, aged between 21 and 40 in England, UK. Quite disappointingly, only 150 out of the 244 women approached did respond to the initial questions. 25 out of the 150 initial respondents, then willingly and confidently provided profound information on single African women abroad.

Of the 25 women who agreed to be intensively interviewed, 15 were single, 5 were in serious relationships, and 5 were married. They were from Ghana, Nigeria, Cameroon, Sierra Leone, Kenya, Uganda, Zambia, Tanzania, Botswana, Zimbabwe, and South Africa. The term ‘single’ or ‘unattached’ as the respondents explain, does not necessarily mean living without s-x. It only refers to people who are not married or who do not have “serious” partners.

Single women are usually grouped as shown below:

Prime Years Group 21-25
Vital Years Group 26-30
Borderline Group 31-35
Danger Zone Group 36-40

The Reasons So Many African Women Abroad Are Single

1. Perceived shortage of decent men in the West: Almost all the women interviewed shared the opinion that it is quite uncommon to come across single men with good character these days. Many African men also prefer women who have legal status that they can benefit from; hence, they tend to get married to westerners rather than Black African immigrants. The words of a respondent says it all: ‘The truth of the matter is, we do not have a very wide selection of African men to choose from as we (the single women) outnumber them (the single men) in this country. Disappointingly, the few that are available tend to date and marry people of other races usually to get legal status.’ Again due to lack of trust for western-based African women who are generally perceived to be arrogant, argumentative, disrespectful, non-submissive, dishonest or unfaithful, other men go to look for women partners in their various home countries.

2. Tribalism/Ethnocentrism: Some African families have “blacklisted” certain tribes and/or countries, and would just not tolerate the idea of their children getting married to someone from these “blacklisted” societies. It has in fact become an abomination in many African countries for people from certain “rival” tribes to get married. Sadly, beautiful young women are missing the opportunity to get married to men they love, all in the name of tradition or tribal hatred. As one Ghanaian respondent mentioned: ‘There is this guy who loves me so much …. I love him too, but I know my parents will be gutted and disappointed in me if I tell them that he is from … (country withheld)… I’m just scared.’

3. Spending Prime years pursuing educational and Career goals: It might sound quite harsh, but one revelation made is that the best moment for most women to get suitable partners or husbands is when they are in their Prime. Hence, the need for them to capitalize on their young age, looks, and fertility to get the kind of man that they want. For religious, academic or educational, as well as career or occupational reasons some young women dedicate less time to socializing and searching for that “decent man.” By the time they realize the need to have families, age had already caught up with them; and as looks or beauty and fertility commonly decrease with age, they end up in a position where attracting men becomes a bit more difficult.

4. Unnecessary church rules/codes: Many churches or religious denominations do not allow their members, especially the women to marry outside the church. Attempts by female members of these faiths to marry men of other denominations are usually frustrated by their church leaders. ‘I became a member of my church when I was only 20 years, now I’m in my late 20s, and none of the men in the church has ever asked me out or shown any interest in me. Yet, my pastor wouldn’t welcome any of the many guys that have expressed genuine interest, just because they are not members of our church’, a quite attractive respondent lamented. Other religious denominations also do not allow their members, chiefly women to date a man before marriage for fear that they may be tempted to engage in pre-marital sex – which is viewed as a mortal sin by almost all Christian faiths and many other religions.

5. Misconception about educated African women: The difficulty in finding husbands is clearly being experienced by highly educated women as well. Three of the ‘unattached’ interviewees had obtained their MA degrees yet they, to quote one of them, ‘are still struggling to get Mr. Right.’ This revelation in a way suggests that women with credentials or academic accolades do not necessarily attract men or enjoy some advantage in terms of getting husbands. This is certainly not to discourage female education or scare women who aspire to reach the apogee of the academic ladder. What has been pointed out is that ladies who achieve higher academic successes are often erroneously viewed by many men as domineering, women who have less respect for their husbands and are thus hard to get along with. Many highly educated African women have also been accused of ignoring interested men whose educational qualifications are below theirs; hence their singleness.

6. The Desire to marry wealthy men or men with legal status: It has been established that many African women only look for men who are rich and/or have legal status. Consequently, they ignore those who are genuinely in love with them but are not very financially sound or do not have strong legal status. In the end, they are taken for a ride by the so-called wealthy dudes and men with legal documents, and thus return to what Nigerians call “square one” (where they were before – singleness). It has been observed that most African women, no matter how financially sound they are, seem to prefer men with good jobs and good salary to those doing menial jobs or struggling to get jobs, even though the latter might demonstrate more traces of genuine love than the former.

7. Unwillingness on the part of some men to be burdened with financial responsibilities: Due to the economic downturn in many western countries, many men are scared of the usually huge financial cost of marriage and/or financial responsibilities associated with marriage. The panic is made even worse by the traditional African notion that it is the responsibility of the man to handle all marriage and household expenses, even when it is clear that the woman’s job or income is much better than the man’s.

8. Poor choices (Ignoring or paying less attention to the right men): Some African women seem to focus on those men who would not give them the chance or the treatment they want and deserve. They spend their Prime years knowingly hanging out with thuggish types of guys or men with no substance (aimless), probably because of the guys’ good looks or the size of their wallets, only to be thrown away like dross after their precious time had been wasted. A respondent honestly narrated how she mistreated and sacrificed an apparently more serious and purposeful man for a handsome but less committed guy only to be thrown overboard less than a year into their relationship. When she realized her mistakes and decided to go back for the one she dejected and whose numerous marriage proposals she had initially turned down, he was no longer available (he was someone else’s darling). Some of the African women who make their way to the West deliberately fail to get in touch with their boyfriends at home thinking that they would get someone with legal documents to marry. By the time they become aware of their mistakes, it is usually too late.

9. Other past mistakes: Other mistakes made in the past by some women such as, waywardness, going out with married men, being impregnated by some reckless man who does not even accept responsibility, and single-motherhood, contribute to their difficulty in getting husbands. It may sound rude but the truth is that most men prefer women with no child to those with one or more.

10. Desire to remain single: It must however be emphasized that not all single African women abroad are interested in marriage or serious relationships; some prefer and seem to be very happy to be single. The words of one Nigerian respondent are noteworthy: ‘I wouldn’t lie to you, I hate marriage. If marriage is so great, why do most marriages end in divorce within a couple of years if not months?’ Many single people think they do have a meaningful love relationship in their life, and that for them, is enough.

Why Many African Women are now Desperately Looking for Partners

It has been established that the single women who are now seriously hunting for partners or husbands are mainly those who fall within the second and third groups (Vital Years and Borderline respectively), as well as those with children (irrespective of age). A number of reasons have been given for the alarming rate at which unattached African women abroad are desperately looking for partners. The following are believed to be some of the most dominant ones:

1. Old age catching up with them: For numerous reasons some of which are mentioned above e.g. spending years pursuing educational and career goals, hanging out with the wrong guys, etc.), many women are not able to marry or get serious partners in their Prime years. By the time they recognize their errors and the need to settle down to start a family, age is either catching up with them or has already caught up with them. To avoid carrying their singleness into the Danger Zone, or avoid being less fertile and having difficulty in bringing forth children, they try all possible but not always advisable means to get husbands or serious partners.

2. Pressure from family: In almost all if not all African societies, the institution of marriage is viewed as something that brings respect and honor not only to the couple but also their families (both nuclear and extended). For this reason, when after a certain age, e.g. 26+, a woman is still unmarried, her family particularly parents, start piling pressure on her to get a husband and to give them (the parents) grandchildren. Note, that due to the religious nature of many Africans, pregnancy and/or giving birth out of wedlock, is not only seen as a disgrace to a woman’s entire family, but also a sin against God or the gods.

3. Security, loneliness and/or the sense of non-fulfillment: The need for some form of security and stable support, financially, materially, mentally or emotionally also motivates the determination of many women to rush to get husbands. However, there are some women, who have almost everything they need in life in abundance, but do not feel that sense of fulfillment without marriage. For them, a woman’s life without a husband or serious partner is nothing but an unfulfilled life.

4. Fulfilling a New Year Resolution: Before the commencement of a New Year, people make what is generally referred to as New Year Resolution. One of the key resolutions of most single women is to get married by the end of the year. Hunting for men is thus one way of making sure that their New Year resolution comes to pass.

5. Peers getting married: Some unattached African women abroad are so worried and disturbed about their inability to lay hands on someone they can call husband that, they wish they had never come to the western world. The statement of a Zambian respondent speaks loads: ‘I learn most of my old-time friends and former class mates in my country are happily married with kids, but look at me still struggling to get a good relationship let alone marriage’.

CONCLUSION: It is believed that single African women who fall within the Borderline and Danger Zone groups, and those with children are much more likely to be taken advantage of and s-xually abused or exploited by selfish and lustful men, as they are easily wooed and convinced because of their situation. In other words, they easily give in to false marriage promises or propositions of deceptive selfish and promiscuous men.

It is quite obvious that very soon, more and more unattached African women in the West, particularly those in England, will be making their way to their various home countries to look for partners and husbands. However, the question is not whether or not the men in Africa are ready for the western-based ladies; it is rather whether or not the single ladies back home in Africa will watch the western-based ladies “scramble” for “their men” without a fight.

Source: nigeriacamera.net

What do YOU think of this author's views?

gidjah: DEVILISH WRITE UP FROM AN ATHEIST.are u married?what sex are u sef?what religion do u practice?do u believe what you are told to always practice by your holy books?

What's devilish about airing dirty laundry and exposing the truth about the behavior of some predatory jackals who call themselves pastors, deacons, etc. and go about exploiting women for s-ex and money, in the name of religion?

As for the rest...

I'm female, married, have 4 kiddos (3 girls, 1 boy) and am a practicing Christian. I think for myself and discern for myself, rather than have someone spoon feed me what they want me to think, via their interpretation of a holy book or any other book designed to control my mind.

JEITO: Guy shut your atheistic mouth up. You should concern yourself with what people like you believe in and stop dabbling in what doesn't concern you

WHOA!!!

First, I'm a lady - not a guy and I really don't appreciate you telling me to shut up. How rude!

Second, I'm a Christian, not an atheist.

Third, since, as a woman, growing up in the Baptist church, I was also taught the same thing. I am also quite familiar with the manipulative and immoral behavior of shameless pastors and their equally shameless cohorts, when it comes to playing mind games with women to get into their pocketbooks AND their panties.

Fourth, when I WAS single, I NEVER believed God was going to send me a husband and NEVER prayed to Him to send me one.

Fifth, I don't take orders from some faceless entity on an online forum and, wherever I choose to 'dabble', I will do so, just like you chose to respond to my post.

Lastly, your reaction is very curious - hostile even.

Did I hit a nerve?

Is the truth about the predatory nature of some pastors and their minions cutting too close to the bone?

There are NO lies being told here...just some ugly truths some have chosen to sweep under the rug.

With some issues, silence is not golden.